Mini Workshop:

Grief and Loss

Carlyn Morones and Annie Sperr
Welcome to Session #2
2

• Remember last session’s needs assessment?

• The results helped us plan today’s topic!
• Also, recall last time we discussed how to start and implement a group.
You will hear us talk about some of that today, such as getting parent
consent and student participation
• We will now take a pre-test
agenda
3

• What is grief/loss?
• How do you address grief/loss?
• Activity
• Addressing grief/loss in a group counseling setting
• Resources for School Counselors
 4

•
What is Grief/Loss?
Grief is a general reaction of sadness to loss
• “Loss” can mean more than things other than death
• Incarcerated parents
• Death of a pet
• Loss of a job
• Foster care
• Grief is a natural process
• It is not a problem to be solved
• Someone who is grieving is usually
willing to talk about it
(Hass and Olaya, 2019)
 5

Ways to Address Grief/Loss

• Individual counseling
• Psychodynamic: focus on unconscious experience
• SFBT: focus on the future
• Family therapy
• Group counseling
• Outside support group or school-based
• Closed or open

(Rubin, 1999)
Cultural Competency
6

• Regardless of which strategy you use to address grief/loss, it is critical

to always be culturally competent
• Cultural Competency
• Have knowledge and awareness about different cultures
• FEMA has great resources
• Respectful curiosity
Developmental Awareness
7

• Just because students are in the same grade does not mean they have
the same abilities
• Recognize different developmental levels, including cognitive processing
 8

Developmental Considerations
• Young Children
• Regressive behaviors and magical thinking
• Make sure they have a trusted adult and return to normal routine
• Pre-Teen
• Frequent somatization, moodiness, and irritability
• Need reassurance and normal routine
• Adolescents
• Cognitively, they are able to process the event more independently
• Initial participation in grief group is challenging due to not wanting
to stand out
(Hass and Olaya, 2019)
Benefits of Group Counseling
9

• 1 in 5 children will experience a the death of a loved one by the age of

18
• Students who have lost a parent or guardian experience negative
outcomes:
• Difficulty concentrating, absenteeism, lower quality of work, and
disengagement
• Bereavement groups are a recommended intervention
• Group facilitator can recognize need for further intervention

(Hass & Olaya, 2019; Pérusse & Goodnough, 2004; Rubin, 1999)
 10

Grief/Loss Published Curricula

• Teen Grief Groups: 8-Week Curriculum - Scott Johnson
• Grief Support Groups in the School Setting: 8-Week Curriculum -
Providence Hospice of Seattle
• Helping Children Grieving the Loss of a Parent or Loved One: 6-Week
Curriculum - Sara Henderson/Baylor University
• Professional School Counselors Address Grief and Loss: 11-13 Week
Curriculum & Rationale - Marino, Thornton & Lange (ACA)
• Loss and Grief in the School Setting: 6-Week Curriculum - (Pérusse &
Goodnough, 2004, pp. 274-279)
 11

Grief Word Game

 12

Addressing Grief/Loss in Groups

• Avoid assuming that a student should cry; all students will
process and handle their grief in unique ways
• Do not rush to console the student
• Do not leave the group to retrieve a box of tissues
• Do not let your own emotions and reactions get in the way
• Tips for Counselors:
• Be present
• Be empathetic
• Be self-aware

(Cooley, 2009)
 13

Challenges
• Recruiting students
• Parent consent
• Referral process
• Grief/loss subject is sensitive to students
• Differences in cognitive processing
• Depression versus grief
• Survivors of suicide loss
 14

Perspectives
• Psychodynamic perspective
• Healing is promoted when a student talks it out and
processes the concern; focus on relationship to deceased
• SFBT perspective
• Let the student choose if it would be helpful to talk about
the loss; focus on the things the student has done to
manage and on the future
• See Byrd & Erford’s Applying Techniques to Common Encounters
in School Counseling for more!
(Cooley, 2009)
 15

Strategies
• Teach Kübler-Ross grief cycle to promote self-awareness and
self-regulation
• Engage in mindfulness-based stress reduction
• Bibliotherapy: grief-related books model effective coping skills and
give accurate explanations of death that are appropriate for
children
• Preserving memories: memory boxes or before and after pictures
• Identifying, naming, and sharing emotions

(Hass and Olaya, 2019)

 16

Common SFBT Strategies To Use

• Listen and normalize
• In lieu of the Miracle Question
• What would you like to happen now?
• Ask open-ended questions
• What happened?
• How are things different for you since…?
• How have you managed to cope so well?
• Ask relationship questions
• Develop a future focus
(Hass and Olaya, 2019)
 17

Resources for School Counselors

• FEMA: Resources for multicultural considerations
• NASP: Recommended Books for Children Coping With Loss or Trauma
• TeachersPayTeachers.com: Grief and Loss Handouts/Activities
• NY State Office of Mental Health: Grief Counseling Resource Guide
• Books in your local library!
 18

Orange County Resources

• Grief/Loss Support in Orange County - Roman Catholic Diocese of
Orange
 19

Thanks!

Any questions?
Let’s take the post-test!
 20

References
Cooley, L. (2009). The power of groups: Solution-focused group counseling in
schools. Thousand Oaks, CA: Corwin A SAGE Company.
Hass, M., & Olaya, C. (2019). [Personal communication].
Perusse, R., & Goodnough, G. E. (2004). Leadership, advocacy, and direct
service strategies for professional school counselors. Belmont, CA:
Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning.
Rubin, S. (1999). Psychodynamic theory with the bereaved: Listening for
conflict, relationship and transference. Journal of Death and Dying,
39(2), 83-98.