Exercise for Session 4

Writing to persuade, writing to inform

Please read the following example:

Writing to persuade, using emotive words:

In many societies, fishers are the poorest of the poor—the landless who must live
and make their meager livelihood on the fickle, frightening seas. Today, humble
fisher-families are even worse off than before. Commercial fisheries, blind to all but
immediate profits, are using bigger boats with smaller nets to scoop up every fish,
leaving virtually nothing for the small fishers, and, even more alarming, no fish to
spawn the future fish stocks.

Here is the example with all the emotive words underlined:

In many societies, fishers are the poorest of the poor—the landless who must live
and make their meager livelihood on the fickle, frightening seas. Today, humble
fisher-families are even worse off than before. Commercial fisheries, blind to all but
immediate profits, are using bigger boats with smaller nets to scoop up every fish,
leaving virtually nothing for the small fishers, and, even more alarming, no fish to
spawn the future fish stocks.

Analysis of the effect of the emotive words:

Notice that almost all the emotive words are negative, except perhaps "humble" to
describe the small fisher families. It seems that the writer is trying to persuade the
reader that the poorest of the poor are being made worse off, and someone should
do something about it. This might well come from a fisheries research project
proposal.

Without the emotive words, this piece might be rewritten to inform, as follows:
In many societies, people without land have no alternative but to become fishers,
living and earning their living at sea. As commercial fisheries, intent on short-term
profits, increase their catch by using larger boats and smaller nets, there are ever
fewer fish left to feed the subsistence fisher families and to breed future stocks.

Now form pairs, and using the appropriate example (a) underline the emotive words (b)
analyze the effect of those emotive works and/or identify the possible source of the
material, and (c) rewrite the piece in a ‘writing to inform’ style, with no emotive words.

Pairs A: The effect of the drought was catastrophic; after the rains failed for a second
year, only the luckiest or the richest of the desert margin smallholders had any seeds left
to plant when the short rains finally came.

Pairs B: Oil companies have now leased virtually all remaining tropical forest areas for
exploration or production, and drilling has caused widespread and serious damage in
the Amazon, West Africa, Papua New Guinea, etc.

Now form groups of four, with one pair each of A and B, and look at each other’s work.
Pairs C: Resource-poor land users are commonly both the victims and cause of
unsustainable land management; more attention must be given to the roots of their
problems if irreversible soil degradation is to be avoided.

Pairs D: The economic and political requirements for delivering the sustainable
development that Rio headlined as its central mantra does not dominate the world
agenda. International competitiveness and improving investment conditions by cutting
back social security benefits are the buzzwords in the debate on globalization. They
drown out almost every question about ecology.

Pairs E: Agency ABC works with local organizations in underprivileged countries to

prevent suffering and hunger. By active promotion of animal health and welfare and
improved husbandry, it aims to enhance the environment within which animals live, and
that of people who depend upon livestock for their survival.

Pairs F: Awareness is growing that water is a scarce and precious resource, which
must be carefully managed if frightening future water crises are to be avoided. Everyone
agrees that water is vital to all life, and is therefore central to all efforts to eliminate
poverty.