DO’S DONT’S

Pose questions X Give all the answers

Encourage discoveries Solve all the problems
Seek helpers; use resources

Empower by giving choices and options X Engage in power struggles

Eliminate choices
Corner the child
(who’s the boss or winner?)

Be natural, yet animated X Be rigid

Follow gut or intuition Be stereotypical
Use common sense Be mechanical

Be warm, gentle, loving, affectionate X Create dependencies or attachments

Be free to laugh (light spirit) Be the entertainer or clown

Touch in comfort or in response to the child X Control with touch or touch uninvited

Be clear, direct, honest and straight-forward X Give mixed messages

with statements and names Make statements into questions
Have double standards

Entice, seduce, invite, stimulate, guide X Force or demand with ultimatums or

Speak gently, softly harsh and angry speech
Move slowly, gracefully

Make direct eye contact X Pretend to listen

Stop and listen Interrupt or speed up child
Speak at eye level Tower over child

Communication: the Value of REFRAMING

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