THE FOOTBALL

C K
BU 53ET LI T H IN G S TOOUD OD IE
BEFORE Y

MY CRAZY
INSIDE THE YEAR WITH

T
CELLINO

ZL a
RONALDO
FA C T O R Y

SUITED & REBOOTED

e n ds an d fo es
Fr i
e al h ow Ib r a will
rev o glory
U t d t
INTERVIE fire M a n
W A N YA M
M AT T H A
November 2016 £4.99 fourfourtwo.com

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HERE...
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Staff writer Chris Flanagan
Chief sub editor Gregg Davies
In honour of our feature on the
Performance editor Ben Welch
Performance writer Alec Fenn
ultimate football bucket list, FOURFOURTWO.COM
Performance presenter Lamar Hurley here are a few things you
Global digital editor Gary Parkinson
Deputy digital editor Gregor MacGregor need to do this month...
Digital features editor Joe Brewin
Social media executive Harriet Drudge 1) Convert to the cult of Zlatan. Think you know Ibra?
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Editorial secretary Sarah Weetch Think again. Behind the bluff and bluster of the ‘I Am @FOURFOURTWO
Thanks to Chris Dean (pictures), Haymarket Pre-Press (repro),
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Zlatan’ persona is a model pro and workaholic who
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2) Tick something off your bucket list. Whether AnDROID & IOS
Global account director Adam Kaczmarski it’s at the church of Diego Maradona or in Borussia
Marketing manager Ollie Stretton
International director Alastair Lewis Dortmund’s Yellow Wall, make a start on our 53 things
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 12

WELCOME TO THE
RONALDO FACTORY
8 UPFRONT
8
12
14
16
18
19
20
21
22
24
26
27
One-On-One: Lothar Matthaus
Around the world in 12 stories
Fire football in Indonesia
Neil Warnock on rearing robins
Quiz: players’ childhood photos
FFT reviews Jamie Vardy’s book
The kings of injury-time goals
Scouted: Italy’s 17-year-old star
Nev Southall, hero in a 7-1 loss
Great Pele street art in Sao Paulo
Joshua Kimmich interview
Great Goals Retold: David Platt
FEATURES
32

44

50

54
The cult of Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Ambition? Arrogance? Revenge?
FFT reveals what drives Ibra, and
how he’ll fix Manchester United
A bizarre history of loans
From the first to the worst, this
is everything you need to know
Colin Kazim-Richards interview
Tales from Bury to Brazil, starring
Didier Drogba and a pet lion
The football bucket list
We name 53 things every fan
28 Rory Smith on... club owners should do before they die. Go!

98
PAUL SCHOLES
MASTERCLASS

100
 32
14

IT’S FIRE
FOOTBALL!
24

54
THE FFT BUCKET LIST

FEATURES ACTION REPLAY

66 Victor Wanyama interview 91 When Big Sam did ballet
Saints, Spurs and scary movies 92 The café that changed football
72 Loughborough University 95 What became of Tony Yeboah?
Meet the non-league team with 96 ’91: Nii Lamptey and Alan Sugar
no players outside term time 98 Seven of the best moustaches
78 A year with Massimo Cellino
Neil Redfearn reveals the mad PERFORMANCE
truth of life managing Leeds
82 Non-league to Premier League 100 Paul Scholes masterclass
How is it that so many semi-pro 103 Tried and tested: assault bikes
players still make it to the top? 104 Is tuna healthier than salmon?
86 Inside the Ronaldo factory 107 The plane that keeps players fit
This gym can turn kids into stars 108 Weightlifting: why light is right

78

THE CAFE THAT SAVED

ENGLISH FOOTBALL
92 66
 E
GAM
FUL
UTI
BEa
THE

HERE'S LOOKInG AT ZIZOU

He may have swapped the pitch for the dugout, but one
thing’s for sure: Zinedine Zidane is box office, even in
Barcelona. Before his Real Madrid side’s record-equalling
16th consecutive victory at Espanyol in September, the
Frenchman’s fans were out in force – after all, a few
months earlier he had secured Los Blancos’ 11th
European Cup – la undecima – by beating city rivals
Atletico. Only nine months ago he was managing Real
Madrid’s reserves in Spain’s third tier. Tres bien, Zizou.
Picture David Ramos/Getty
 UPFROnT
UPFROnT
> <
Mascot of the M
meets Power Ra
OnE-On-OnE
LOTHAR MATTHAUS
Interview Chris Flanagan Photography Stefan Hobmaier
DID HE BOTTLE A PEnALTY In THE ITALIA 90 FInAL?
WHY DIDn’T HE GET On WITH JURGEn KLInSMAnn?
DID HE LIVE DOWnSTAIRS FROM DOnALD TRUMP?
It’s a Sunday afternoon in Munich,
and it feels as if FFT has stumbled
into an extremely upmarket, slightly
more German version of Cheers.
We’re inside what must be the city’s
finest hotel, the Vier Jahreszeiten
Kempinski, and it’s a place where
everybody knows Lothar Matthaus’
name. Instead of Ted Danson, there’s
an array of immaculately dressed hotel
staff offering their assistance as we set
up in the bar for a photoshoot with one
of Germany’s greatest ever players.
This is Matthaus’ regular stopping-off
Upfront editor Chris Flanagan
point when he’s in Munich. Today it’s for
a spot of TV punditry, before flying back
to Budapest, his home since managing
Hungary between 2003 and 2006.
Politely declining our offer of a beer,
he sits and immediately begins to reel
off stories from a remarkable career...
8 November
February 2016
2016FourFourTwo.com
FourFourTwo.com
TOP DOG A pooch was praised for saving a goal in a Chilean
third-tier game, to the ire of keeper Fabian Cerda, who said:
“It was going wide – I left it. Now it’s dog this, dog that...”
Name the player from
his childhood pic p18
Is it true your father was a janitor for
Puma and your mum made footballs?
Andy, via Twitter
That’s true – all my family worked for
Puma because I was born in the village
where Puma and Adidas are based. It
was two brothers: one brother formed
Puma in 1948 and the other formed
Adidas in 1949. When I was growing up
they were the biggest bootmakers in
the world. The Puma office was 20 or
25 metres from my bedroom, and in
the summer holidays I worked for them
to earn pocket money. I got everything
I needed to play football from Puma.
What was it like to be called up for
Euro 80 at the age of 19, then win it?
Steven, via email
It was a beautiful story, but a bit fast!
My first professional year was 1979,
Why aren’t Chelsea
fans buying this? p21
when I went from my village club to
Borussia Monchengladbach. One day
someone approached me and said:
“Lothar, you’re so talented – would you
like to be a professional footballer?
Which club is your favourite?” I was
a fan of Monchengladbach because
Puma were their sponsors, and so he
arranged a training session. After that
first session I signed a contract. Jupp
Heynckes was the coach. After five or
six weeks I started playing in the first
team, and I never gave up my place.
Then I played in the UEFA Cup, I played
against Michel Platini, I scored goals,
we reached the final – and then I went
to the European Championship. In nine
months I went from the fourth division
to winning the European Championship.
Didn’t you concede a penalty against
the Dutch on your international debut
at the 1980 European Championship?
How difficult were things after that?
James, via email
First, it was not a penalty – it was two
metres outside the box! The referee
was a Frenchman called Mr Wurtz.
I remember that name. I played the
last 20 minutes: when I came on it was
3-0, and the penalty changed the game
– we only won 3-2 in the end. It wasn’t
the best beginning. I was in the squad
but I wasn’t an important player for the
team in that tournament. In the end we
won the European Championship and it
was something special, but in another
way I was doing nothing special for
the team, except to make the game
against Holland more interesting!
What really happened in the
infamous match between West
Germany and Austria at the 1982
World Cup, when neither side tried to
score once you went 1-0 up early on?
Sara, Kortrijk, Belgium
It happens in every tournament. We
didn’t want to take a risk because if
Austria scored, we were out. And if we
scored another goal, Austria were out.
So if we play a little bit more on the
defensive, and they play a little bit more
on the defensive, then there’s nobody
attacking – so how can you score goals?
This is an instinct; it wasn’t on purpose.
People said that it was a compromise
between the two German-speaking
countries, making a deal to kick out
Algeria, but there was no talk between
the teams before the game. For sure, it
wasn’t nice for Algeria, but nobody said:
‘Hey, let’s make this result so we go into
the next round and Algeria are out.’
How did people react when you
signed for Bayern Munich shortly
after missing a penalty against them
in the 1984 German Cup Final?
@myrf05, via Twitter
I’d signed a contract for Bayern Munich
for the next season a couple of months
before that, which was a big discussion
because there was a rivalry between
Gladbach and Bayern. Then the last
game of the season was the cup final:
I was playing for my old team against
my new team, and it went to a penalty
shootout. I told Jupp Heynckes: “I don’t
want to take a penalty – I didn’t play
well in the game and I don’t feel sure.”
 CLUBS
1979-84 Borussia Monchengladbach
1984-88 Bayern Munich
1988-92 Inter Milan
1992-2000 Bayern Munich
2000 MetroStars

MANAGERIAL ROLES
2001-02 Rapid Vienna
2002-03 Partizan Belgrade
2003-06 Hungary
2006 Atletico Paranaense
2006-07 Red Bull Salzburg
2008-09 Maccabi Netanya
2010-11 Bulgaria

“BACK IN 1987 MARADONA SENT

PEOPLE TO MUNICH WITH ONE
MILLION DEUTSCHE MARKS
IN A BOX, WANTING ME
TO SIGN FOR NAPOLI”
UPFROnT

I’d played right-back in that game – not
my position. He said I had to take one,
so I said: “OK, I’ll take the first one, but
then it’s over with”. I took the first one
and it went into the sky – they’re still
looking for the ball today. But [Klaus]
Augenthaler from Bayern missed his
kick as well. We lost with our eighth
penalty. From then until today, though,
people talk only about my penalty.
What are your thoughts on Juanito,
nearly 30 years after he stamped on
your head in a European Cup match?
Darren Walsh, via Facebook
I was surprised
when it happened
You kept Maradona pretty quiet in
the 1986 World Cup Final – how
difficult a task was that to do?
Neil, Liverpool
From the first game of that World Cup,
Maradona was playing at the highest
level. He made a difference; he scored
the goals. But I knew what I had to do
against him and I think I got respect
from Maradona because I stopped him
without fouls. Most players were killing
him – many more things were allowed
back then. But I was always in a good
condition and fully focused: you have to
concentrate fully to stop a player like
Maradona, or Messi
today. I played in

HIgHS & LOWS

because it’s not a different position
a normal thing – in that final and
you can make we maybe had too
fouls but this was much respect for
more than a foul. Maradona. After
He lost control, HIGH: 1980 the game, Franz
and for that he Plays in UEFA Cup final as four Beckenbauer said
got the biggest German clubs make the semis it was a mistake.
penalty in the LOW: 1987 I think the biggest
history of UEFA Captains Bayern in European Cup problem was that
at that time: he final: they lead Porto but lose 2-1 I was in defence
was suspended HIGH: 1991 too much and not
for five years. Named first FIFA World Player of in attack. At 2-0
[Real Madrid] the Year after Italia 90 triumph down we changed
were angry LOW: 1993 it: someone else Deutsche Marks. At that time, you had Were you confident you’d win the
because they Part of the Bayern Munich side played against to play for a couple of years in Germany Italia 90 shootout against England?
were losing the beaten at home by Norwich City Maradona and to earn that much. But I said: “I don’t Tony, Lincoln
game and they HIGH: 2000 I moved up. We need the money; go back with your We never had a problem against
thought that the Plays in ninth tournament for scored twice but money”. Even though I joined Inter England. We believed in ourselves.
referee had made Germany, 20 years after his first... Maradona gave a year later, I wasn’t 100 per cent sure Penalties involve a little bit of luck,
some decisions LOW: 2000 a perfect pass at that stage I wanted to leave Bayern. yes, but the penalties we took in that
against them. It ...but his 150th and final cap is in for Argentina’s semi-final were of such high quality.
wasn’t nice that a group stage exit at Euro 2000 winner. I was Which was better: Milan’s Dutch trio We had confidence we’d score. We had
he pushed his HIGH: 2014 playing further of Marco van Basten, Ruud Gullit and our heads up; the English players’ heads
boot against my Marries Anastasia Klimko – his up then. I can’t Frank Rijkaard, or the German trinity were down. I consoled Chris Waddle
head – that was fifth wife – and son, Milan, is born be everywhere! with Inter at that time: you, Andreas afterwards because I knew from 1984
wrong – but he [Laughs] Brehme and Jurgen Klinsmann? [the German Cup final] how you feel
wrote a letter to me Darren McKelvie, Leuchars, Scotland after missing a penalty. It’s not easy.
a couple of months later to say sorry. Did you ever go partying with Diego? You can’t say either was better. It’s
I wrote back to say that it was OK. James, Canterbury always a big fight between Milan and A lot of people in Germany thought
Yes, two or three times. When he came Inter, and people made it a competition you bottled taking the match-winning
Diego Maradona once referred to you back to Europe with Sevilla [in 1992], his between three Dutchmen and three penalty in the Italia 90 final. Did you?
as “the best rival [he] ever had”. Do first game was a friendly against Bayern Germans – but it wasn’t just us. Milan Shawn Armstrong, via Facebook
you hold him in similarly high regard? and he invited his friends and family had great Italian players: Franco Baresi, That was the story, but I had problems
Des Goh, via Facebook to a party after the game. I went with Carlo Ancelotti, Roberto Donadoni. They with my boots. I had changed them at
Yes. I’m always happy when I see him. three players from Bayern. Diego was were the best team. We mostly won half-time and played the second half
Diego and I have a special relationship sitting next to Claudia, his wife, and he against them, but they won more titles. with completely new boots on, so I did
because we played against each other said: “Claudia, you have to stand up – not feel 100 per cent comfortable that
many times, not just in two World Cup my friend Lothar has to sit here!” Then What was your career highlight? I could take the penalty. If I hadn’t had
finals but also with Napoli and Inter. He we celebrated until 7am. Diego was so ‘Vintage Duru’, Kentucky, USA problems with my boots, I would have
won the Scudetto with Napoli, I won it happy: he was back playing in Europe, Winning the World Cup in 1990, as we taken it. But rather than take a risk
with Inter; he won the World Cup with and he was dancing without clothes. were together for seven weeks and had when I wasn’t feeling sure, as I did in
Argentina, I won it with [West] Germany He’d wanted me in his team after the a really great time. Sometimes we felt 1984, I gave it to somebody else. It was
– all against each other. In the late ’80s 1986 World Cup. In 1987 he sent three like we were away on holiday in Italy. important that we won, so I said, “Andi,
and early ’90s he was the best player or four people to Munich on a Saturday The football was the most important please”. Andi [Brehme] and I played
in the world – better than me, for sure. evening with a lot of cash in a box, thing, sure, but Beckenbauer gave us together at Inter and Bayern, and we
I can’t say I was better than Maradona. wanting me to sign a contract with freedom, with afternoons or whole days slept in the same room for seven weeks
But Maradona says, “I wasn’t better Napoli. This cash wasn’t the money off. We had good players and a better during the World Cup, so he was like
than Lothar Matthaus.” This is the written in the contract – it was only team spirit than in ’86, when groups of a brother. He scored, and we won.
huge respect we have for each other. for the signature. It was one million players were going against each other. Lifting the trophy was a good feeling.

10 February
November 2016
2016FourFourTwo.com
FourFourTwo.com

Lothar, what’s the truth behind your
relationship with Jurgen Klinsmann?
Did the two of you really fall out?
Ed, Derby
Jurgen Klinsmann and I are different
characters. And for that reason, we
certainly weren’t the best of friends
when we played in the same team,
especially in the ’90s. But on the field
we always did our best for each other.
[FFT: Was your difficult relationship the
reason for Berti Vogts leaving you out
of the Germany squad for Euro 96?]
Yes, that could be one of the reasons.
That’s football. In the end, the coach
did everything right as they won the
European Championship without me.
Is it true that you made a bet that
Klinsmann wouldn’t score 15 goals
one season, when you were both
playing for Bayern Munich?
Thomas, Munich, Germany
That was nothing against Jurgen – it’s
a funny story! Uli Hoeness and I were
sitting down one evening, in a good
mood, and we decided to make a bet
for 10,000 Deutsche Marks. I said, “OK,
he doesn’t score 15 goals.” So Uli said,
“He does score 15 goals.” I thought
if he scores 15 goals, we win the title
and I get my bonus, which was more
than we put on the bet – I think it was
around 60,000 or 70,000. And if I win
the bet, I have a minimum of 10,000.
It was a win-win situation for me! In
the last game [of 1996-97] we were
already champions, and he scored from
50 centimetres out to make it 15 goals
for the season. [Laughs] I could have
made the bet the other way, but if he
didn’t score 15 goals and I lost, maybe
I wouldn’t win the championship, and
then I’d lose both ways! The way I did it,
I was always going to win at least one.
Would Bayern Munich have beaten
Manchester United in the 1999
Champions League Final if you had
not been substituted on 80 minutes?
Gabriel Sutton, via Twitter
I was 38 years old and we had played
a different system in that game. During
the season I had played as a sweeper
and we had played with three at the
back: myself, [Samuel] Kuffour and
[Thomas] Linke. But in this game we
changed and played with a back four,
which meant I was playing in midfield
and having to make different runs,
without many breaks to relax a bit.
Barcelona was really warm in the
evening, and after 70 or 75 minut
I said, “Coach, I feel tired.” Then it
was up to him to decide whether
to keep me on the pitch or make
a change. For him, it was a sign
that he had to change things, so
he did. Then Manchester United
scored two goals. But nobody
can say for sure that with me
on the pitch they wouldn’t have
scored, although it certainly look
like that. I have to congratulate
Manchester United because they
didn’t give up in those last few
minutes. We controlled the game
for 89 minutes and we could hav
scored the second, third, fourth
and fifth goals – we had lots of
good chances – but in the end
we all know what happened.
UPFROnT
“WE NEVER HAD A PROBLEM
AGAINST ENGLAND. AS WE
BELIEVED IN OURSELVES. BUT
I DID CONSOLE CHRIS WADDLE
BECAUSE I KNEW HOW HE FELT”
What did you make of Stefan You spent time in several different
Effenberg’s 2003 autobiography, countries as a manager: Austria,
which included a chapter entitled Serbia, Brazil, Israel... is there one
‘What Lothar Matthaus knows about moment that stands out for you?
football’ that was just a blank page? Joshua, Freiburg, Germany
Joe, Worcester In 2003 I won at Newcastle with
Oh, I didn’t read it. Stefan was a great Partizan Belgrade to qualify for the
player and I have a lot of respect for Champions League. Our first group
him, but I didn’t read his book. game was at home to Jose Mourinho’s
Porto team. We drew 1-1. His career
Do you regret coming to New York? went differently to mine after that!
Stephen C Brand, Buffalo, USA
I was tired and looking for something In 2009 you said: “I am an idol –
towards the end of my career that was Germany should be ashamed
completely new to me. Bora Milutinovic of the way it treats me.” Do you
ch at the MetroStars. still feel the same way now?
ry nice guy and so Andrew, Northumberland
hy not spend one The media changed my words a little bit
asons in New York?’ but it’s true that in Germany they don’t
ed my contract, and care so much about their heroes. Boris
o weeks later they Becker is not living in Germany; Steffi
red Milutinovic. Graf is not living in Germany; Michael
Schumacher is not living in Germany;
s it true that you Franz Beckenbauer is not living in
d in Trump Tower? Germany; I’m not living in Germany.
u ever share a lift These are the biggest world superstars
e man himself? from Germany but nobody lives there,
ropshire and you have to ask why. It’s because
as Trump International you cannot live your life how you want.
it’s in Manhattan but Boris Becker is in London and there they
nt. Donald Trump recognise him but they respect him. In
t Trump Tower on Germany you go on the street and have
Avenue. I did meet to listen to stupid comments. That is
nd his girlfriend once not nice. I like to come back – I’m not
estaurant, but I didn’t against Germany – but to feel happier
y talk to him much. and more relaxed, I prefer Budapest.
FourFourTwo.com November 2016 11
UPFROnT
UPFROnT
> <
AROUnD
THE WORLD 5
In 12 STORIES
A pitch-invading beauty queen, Manchester City’s
robot partner and an entirely blue Dean Windass –
well, they do say anything can happen in football...
1
STADIUM BAN FOR BUMBUM,
COUSIN OF BOING BOING
Brazil Porto Alegre
Gremio’s 0-0 draw with Palmeiras was
livened up a bit by beauty queen Miss
Bumbum Santa Catarina. Danny Morais,
cousin of fellow model Sabrina Boing
Boing (yes, really), wrestled a steward
before stripping down to a bikini and
darting onto the pitch, sash and all.
“I just wanted to hug Luan,” she said,
referring to the Gremio forward. “This
was my first time in a football stadium.”
It will also be her last time in a football
stadium, at least for a while – she has
to report to a police station during
Gremio’s next 10 home matches.
2
“SORRY, LADS. HAVE SOME BEER”
Germany Wedel
When Wedeler TSV lost manager
Jorn Grosskopf to fellow minnows
SV Eichede, Bundesliga giants Schalke
couldn’t help but feel guilty – they’d set
off a chain of managerial poachings by
recruiting Augsburg’s Markus Weinzierl
in June. Augsburg responded by hiring
the manager of Darmstadt, who hired
the manager of Arminia Bielefeld, who
SIX OF THE BEST FIXTURES
i i
Italy vs Spain October 6
Spain get a chance for Euro 2016 revenge in this
Group G qualifying match for World Cup 2018
12 February
November 2016
2016FourFourTwo.com
FourFourTwo.com
UNDISPUTED NO.1 Midfielder Jonathan de
Guzman wanted to be different when he joined
Chievo, choosing to wear the keeper’s No.1 shirt
could be needed for the 47-year-old
painting himself head-to-toe and then
posing for a photo with what appeared
to be Robin Hood and his Merry Men?
Apparently it was all to do with Hull’s
status as UK City of Culture. We’d like to
believe that Deano the Smurf helped
Hull to win the bid in the first place.
KOALA STOPS PLAY
Australia Sunshine Coast
The Sunshine Coast Division Three Grand
Final between Woombye Snakes and
Kawana Force was halted when a koala
went onto the pitch and wouldn’t leave.
Players slowly ushered the marsupial
towards the sidelines and then behind
a fence, but even then a spectator had
to guard it and thwart its attempts to
try to come back on. Clearly it had
been inspired by Miss Bumbum.
6
“OH, TEDDY, TEDDY!”
Netherlands Rotterdam
Feyenoord’s match with ADO Den Haag
was 12 minutes old when away fans
hired the manager of Sonnenhof started hurling missiles into the lower
Grossaspach, who hired the manager tier. Thankfully, it was like a very easy
of Eichede, who then hired Grosskopf. version of The Generation Game – as
Irked, Wedeler asked Schalke for every single item was a cuddly toy.
50 crates of beer or a friendly match as The reason? The lower tier was full of
compensation. Schalke sent the beer. youngsters from a kids’ hospital. Bless.
3 7
COACH GIVES PRESS CONFERENCE CR7 AND THE WAX-HUGGER
WHILE CARRYING JAR OF PICKLES China Chongqing
Romania Botosani
Chongqing may be a city of 30 million
Is there any better way to illustrate people, but everyone agrees that it was
a point than with a jar of pickles? That really missing a waxwork of Cristiano
is what Botosani manager Leo Grozavu Ronaldo. Thankfully the dark days are
concluded after witnessing Romanian over – Madame Tussauds is now open
sides’ collective struggles in Europe. in the city, complete with a CR7 model.
“Look at my pickles,” he began, The excitement was all too much
magnificently. “This is how I describe for one local, who darted over to the
the state of Romanian football. We waxwork and started hugging it. He’d
are smaller pickles; others are bigger probably do the same thing, to be fair.
pickles.” Thanks, Leo – we’d have been
8
lost if it hadn’t been for the pickles. DIGITAL DOG DAYS
WITH ALEXIS SANCHEZ
4 12
WINDASS BECOMES A BLUE England London
England Hull
Not content with having his own
FFT was casually checking out Twitter Instagram account, Alexis Sanchez
when suddenly we were confronted by has set up one for his dogs as well.
an image of a blue Dean Windass. The Arsenal’s Chilean star has gone to
ex-striker offered no words to go with serious effort to document the lives of
the picture – after all, what explanation his pooch pair, Atom and Humber (the
latter named following a game at Hull,
perhaps). One dog poses in an Arsenal
scarf and is also pictured typing away
i
Liverpool vs Man United October 17 Barcelona vs Man City October 19
Monday Night Football sees Mourinho – hardly Pep Guardiola and Claudio Bravo return to the
Mr Popular at Liverpool – turn up with their rivals Camp Nou for a Champions League group game
on a laptop. And they say footballers
have too much time on their hands...
9
“WHO IS THIS GUY AND WHY IS
HE KISSING MY FEET?”
Argentina Mendoza
One fan was so delighted to see Lionel
Messi call a halt to his long two-month
retirement from international football
that he hatched a plan to celebrate it.
Messi’s first game since returning to
international duty – and coincidentally
Argentina’s first match since he retired
– was a World Cup qualifier against
Uruguay, and the supporter marked the
occasion by racing onto the pitch and
kissing Leo’s feet. Messi, meanwhile,
looked perplexed by the whole thing.
10
MASCOTS REALLY ARE
GETTING OLDER THESE DAYS
Sweden Stockholm
When a surprisingly elderly bunch of
mascots accompanied AIK onto the
pitch ahead of their match against
Gefle, there were fears that the club
may have run out of kids to fill the role.
But no, it was part of an initiative to
attract more pensioners to games, with
the club also offering free shuttle buses
from retirement homes. The mascots
were aged between 81 and 96, and
included former UEFA chief Lennart
Johansson, AIK’s honorary president.
11
TIFO GOOD, TEAM NOT SO GOOD
Poland Warsaw
The award for Tifo of the Month goes to
Legia Warsaw. Before their opening
Champions League fixture against
Borussia Dortmund, fans unveiled an
enormous banner of an intimidating
fan holding a slip of UEFA-headed paper
bearing Legia’s name, accompanied by
the message, ‘Guess Who’s Back?’
They might not be back for very long,
however. Dortmund won the game 6-0.
CITY SIGN AGUEROBOT
England Manchester
Exciting news at the Etihad Stadium,
with Manchester City announcing
their first official robot partner.
Robots from Chinese firm Ubtech
are due to be pitchside at matches,
entertaining fans with singing and
special moves. Maybe when City score
they will pretend to be Peter Crouch.
 UPFROnT
11
“DON’T CALL US – WE’LL CALL YOU” Luther Blissett
agreed to step in as interim boss of non-league side
Burnham, but his first game ended in an 11-0 defeat

01 02 03 04

05

06

07 08 09

10 11 12

i i i
Inter vs Southampton October 20 Juventus vs Napoli October 29 Birmingham vs Aston Villa October 30
Saints visit the San Siro in the Europa League for Last term’s top two face off in Serie A as Gonzalo The Second City Derby returns, but in the
arguably their most glamorous tie in decades Higuain takes on the club he controversially left Championship and with no Peter Enckelman

FourFourTwo.com November 2016 13

 UPFROnT
UPFROnT
> <
“ ARE YOU
SURE THIS
IS A GOOD
IDEA?” Goodness gracious, great ball
of fire! A blood-and-thunder derby
is tame compared to this madness
F
laming football may sound
like something Alex Ferguson
once said, but in Indonesia
it’s quite literal.
In a game that’s enough to give any
health and safety officer a nervous
breakdown, students at a select list of
Islamic boarding schools strip the skin
from coconut shells and douse them
with kerosene before creating a DIY
fireball. Because that isn’t dangerous
enough, they then take it for a kickabout.
Fire football is played by brave souls –
or soles – in the regions of Yogyakarta,
West Java and Papua, and takes place
at night in order to add to the spectacle.
After all, who needs floodlights when
the ball itself is a blazing inferno?
The tradition started in 2009 at the
Pondok Persantren School, 200 miles
east of Jakarta. Some experts claim
that it was actually introduced to help
restore some interest in an Indonesian
Words John Duerden
martial art called pencak silat.
“Interest in pencak silat was fading,”
Pondok Persantren student Abdul
Hakim told local media. “The instructors
arranged for the students to play fire
14 February
November 2016
2016FourFourTwo.com
FourFourTwo.com
NEEDLESS TACKLE Slaven Zivinice keeper Bego Hidic
was sent off during a Bosnian second-tier clash with
Gradina, having showed his genitals to taunting fans
football in order to entice them to
practise pencak silat again.”
So essentially it’s Indonesia’s answer
to letting kids play crab football so they
will join the scouts (but with a slightly
greater risk of third-degree burns).
Matches are played between the
junior and senior red-belts of pencak
silat, as fire football draws in new
participants like moths to the flame.
Large crowds gather to watch on as
ear-blasting fireworks signal the start of
the game, which can be a small-sided
match or a full 11 vs 11. Soon, players
are kicking, chesting and even heading
the smoking sphere, while goalkeepers
aren’t afraid to use their hands.
Players perform cleansing rituals
before kick-off and pray to ensure that
no harm will come to them during the
action. Somehow, despite the fact that
many of the participants play in bare
feet, reports of injuries are actually rare,
with smoky eyes and ash-covered limbs
the popular inconveniences.
Perhaps it won’t be long until the
game is setting the world, and the
world’s footballs, on fire.
 JUST NO Zenit rejected Burger King’s bid to rename
the club (to Zenit St PetersBurger King, presumably).
UPFROnT
The offer was £5.7m; Zenit had just sold Hulk for £46m

HAT-
TRICK? JOE HART’S
MOnTH In MUSIC
YOU’RE
swashbuckler is
n’t do interviews

OFF! City Guy

Rishi Rich

It was all going so Say I’m Your

well for Norrby’s
Mehmed Dresevic. Number One
The defender had Princess
already trebled his
goal tally for the
season with a brace Can I Kick It?
in a Swedish third-tier
clash with Tvaaker,
A Tribe
when he crashed Called Quest
home a volley to
finish off a quite
incredible hat-trick. Pass Out
Understandably, Tinie Tempah
he couldn’t contain
his excitement, and
celebrated by leaping Don’t Make Me Go
over the advertising
hoardings, taking
Johnny Cash
a seat in the first
row of the stand
and applauding Real Valladolid may be in the second division, but few the club insists – a 6ft tall fox – and definitely not
The Gloves Are Off
his own fine strike. clubs in Spain can boast such a multi-talented mascot. a human being who’s wearing a fox suit. The Feeling
“I thought, ‘What The Estadio Jose Zorrilla is home to Pepe Zorrillo, “He’s a very active fox,” club official Mario Miguel
the hell: this will be a sword-brandishing fox who is both cute and Nieto tells us on Pepe’s behalf, presumably while the
the only hat-trick vaguely menacing at the same time. mascot is off sniffing around the back of the bins. I’ll Be Back
of my career’ – so Pepe has been the Pucela’s mascot since 2009 “During half-time intervals, he breakdances or acts as The Beatles
I went for it,” the and his most memorable moments include his own a matador, which makes sure there is always a good
Dresevic words Isaak Bowers; Mascot words Simon Harrison; Month in music words Si Hawkins

24-year-old Dresevic foxy take on breakdancing, doing the worm in the atmosphere in the stadium. The little children love
tells FFT. However, centre circle and even the odd Robbie Keane-esque him: Pepe is always very friendly and explains to them Gran Torino
his return to the forward roll – all while draped in the club’s purple and what it means to be one of the Pucela.”
pitch was greeted white colours and carrying a shield. Well, now – quite how he can explain anything to
Jamie Cullum
by a red card, as he Sadly, Valladolid can only inform FFT that his myriad the kids, given that he can’t speak, is anyone’s guess.
earned a second talents don’t extend as far as talking. He’s a real fox, You know, it’s almost as if he’s not a real fox after all.
booking for leaving What’s My Name
the field of play. Rihanna

SHALL WE
“Unfortunately the
DJIMI TRAORE’S JACKSON 5 TRIBUTE
referee didn’t have LIVERPOOL FANS
the same sense The Cross
of humour,” says “DON’T BLAME IT ON THE BISCAN;
Prince

SInG A SOnG
Dresevic, who was DON’T BLAME IT ON THE
forced to trudge off, HAMANN; DON’T BLAME
crestfallen. “My IT ON THE FINNAN; Whoops Now
manager was OK

FOR YOU?
with it, as long as
BLAME IT ON TRAORE! Janet Jackson
I promised not to do HE JUST CAN’T, HE JUST
it again. Luckily we CAN’T, HE JUST CAN’T
Average Man
won the game I was CONTROL HIS FEET...”
suspended for.” Turin Brakes

FourFourTwo.com November 2016 15

 The outspoken ex-gaffer fills FFT in on his pet robin and how a dastardly otter gave him the hump
Interview Nick Moore Illustration Bill McConkey

Hi Neil. You just created the Armchair Did you go after said otter with a gun?
Managers Association. Do you have I do have a pellet gun, but I couldn’t kill
a favourite armchair that other family a thing, me. We have rabbits, too, but
members are prohibited from using? I haven’t got the heart to shoot them.
Hello, pal. I’m not actually a big fan of We got an electric fence to deter the
the armchair; I’m more of a settee man. otter. It’s great, our garden. I have an
We’ve got a really comfy one. I like to office out there, and at 6am, when the
get pillows down from the bedroom to mist is settling, there’s a little Robin –
be extra comfy. If it’s TV, I lie down. Last ‘Robs’ – that comes to visit me. I have
night I watched Victoria. I love a period some special food. I’m trying to train it
drama; a bit of Downton. But if there’s to eat off my hand, but it hasn’t yet.
a match on, I will sit up. I can’t watch
football lying down. I can’t concentrate. What a peaceful image. Let’s change
tack. What’s your favourite war?
Are you physically able to stay I like World War Two. As a boy I loved
seated, without jumping up and The Dambusters. I cried my eyes out
calling the linesman a cheat? when the black labrador got killed. And
No. I can’t do it. There was a decision The Bridge on the River Kwai was great.
the other day – a Liverpool goal – where It was definitely an interesting time.
the linesman was correct in giving it
offside, but there’s no way in a million Talking of combat, Graham Poll once
years he could have seen it. I started told us he’d like to do jiu-jitsu on you
screaming, ‘You haven’t got a clue, pal!’ down a dark alleyway in Tring. He said,
“I’d take my time and enjoy myself
‘Mad Dog’ Martin Allen once told us immensely.” Any response, Neil?
that he loves geraniums. Is there My friend Graham? That’s all in his
anything surprisingly soft about you? imagination. I’ve always said he’s
Oh, I’ll cry at anything, me. I was in a legend in his own mind. I can’t see
tears when Jess Ennis came round that him catching me down that alleyway
last bend at the Olympics. My kids will for a start. Bloody hell, I’m 67 and
be sitting there fine, while I’m welling I’m probably still faster than he is.
up. My wife says I must have been born Graham was a top ref but I’m still bitter
with female genes. I’ve been accused about that FA Cup semi-final [against
of some things in the past, but never Arsenal in 2003]. When he got done
that. I do love a bit of gardening, too. for giving a player three yellow cards
at the 2006 World Cup, I thought, ‘He
What’s your favourite garden understands the pain now.’ Referees
activity? Potting? Mowing? Hoeing? don’t feel the hurt like managers do.
Mowing. I’ve got a lovely red tractor
that I use – a 1962 Massey Ferguson. Finally, you share a birthday with
Alan Brazil thinks I live on a farm Colombian drug kingpin Pablo Escobar.
because of this tractor, but it’s just Would you make a good cartel leader?
for the lawn. We’ve got a big pond Oh no, I don’t think so. I don’t like drugs.
with fish, ducks and a kingfisher. The I’ve never even thought about smoking
fish population’s been decimated by anything. It wouldn’t be a job for me.
an otter, though, which was annoying.
Fair enough. Thanks for chatting!
Thanks.
“WE HAVE RABBITS IN OUR
GARDEN, BUT I HAVEN’T GOT
Neil Warnock launched the Armchair
Managers Association as part of
THE HEART TO SHOOT THEM” TalkTalk TV’s Sky Sports Season Pass.
For more details, visit talktalk.co.uk

16 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com

 UPFROnT
UPFROnT O2
O 30
YOU’LL WIN NOTHING WITH KIDS LA Galaxy duo
Steven Gerrard and Robbie Keane played a bizarre
> < match against 30 eight-year-olds (and won 3-2)

OnE QUESTIOn QUIZ We’ve selected 20

photos of footballers

WHICH PLAYER IS THIS?

at a young age, and
all you have to do
is identify them.

WORST.
Pretty easy, right?

START. 1 2 3 4
EVER.
There are bad starts
to a season, and
then there’s this.
When Dumitru

11) Cesc Fabregas; 12) Thierry Henry; 13) Kasper Schmeichel; 14) Xabi Alonso; 15) Lukas Podolski; 16) Bobby Charlton; 17) Gerard Pique; 18) Ronaldinho; 19) Alexis Sanchez; 20) Carlos Tevez
Mitu scored Soimii
Pancota’s first goal 5 6 7 8
of the campaign,

Answers 1) Franck Ribery; 2) Cristiano Ronaldo; 3) Philippe Coutinho; 4) Manuel Neuer; 5) Paolo Maldini; 6) George Best; 7) Tom Ince; 8) Mikel Arteta; 9) Lionel Messi; 10) Neymar;
the cheers could be
heard all the way
across Romania.
By that stage, the
second-division club
had already let in 55
goals in five and a bit
matches. A 16-0 loss
in their first match of
the season was then
followed by defeats
9 10 11 12
of 7-0, 18-0 and 9-0.
“Sadly, the local
authorities lost all
interest in football so
we just fielded kids,”
explains Soimii’s
honorary president
Pavel Piros (not that
it’s too much of an
honour these days).
“I offered the team 13 14 15 16
to several Italian
businessmen and
I think things will
get better now.”
Indeed, they lost
their fifth game only
2-0, before Mitu’s
goal in a 4-1 defeat.
At this rate, maybe
there’s still time for
a promotion push? 17 18 19 20
“We have a chance
of doing something
only if we can forget
Words Emanuel Rosu

what’s happened so
far,” admits Mitu. OK
then – maybe just
focus on avoiding
relegation for now.

18 February
November 2016
2016FourFou
FourFourTwo.com
 QUOTE OF THE MONTH “I didn’t want the horse – I was
living in an apartment.” Swansea City’s Leroy Fer reveals
UPFROnT
how he once accidentally bought a horse at an auction

FAn REQUIRED
VS READInG
PLAYER

ROSS COUnTY

Jamie Vardy: From

Nowhere – My Story
Mike Munro (Ebury, £20)
Works in pensions, 36 OOOOO
Andrew Davies
Defender, 31 Autobiographies in
football are a mixed
Q: Which team did Ross bag. But if the least

RAnDOM CLUB PROFILE

County beat to reach we expect is honesty,
the Scottish Cup then thankfully there
Final in 2010? is plenty of that in

PAOK
MM: I was there! Their stadium is known as the Vardy’s new book.
It was Celtic.  English football’s
AD: It was before Black Hell and they really don’t most well-known
I arrived, but I’ll say like Olympiacos, so they’ve hired rags-to-riches tale
St Johnstone.  was always going
a Slovakian ref to restore order to make for a good
1-0 Fan story, but Vardy fills

L
ooking for the most intimidating stadium in
Q: What’s the name of football? PAOK’s Toumba must come close.
the club’s mascot? The Thessaloniki side’s ground isn’t
MM: It’s Rosco!  nicknamed ‘the Black Hell’ for nothing.
AD: Rosco the Staggie!  Its rough-and-ready exterior is daubed with menacing
graffiti, and a fiery welcome is always reserved for the
2-1 Fan club’s arch rivals from Athens, Olympiacos.
Flares ended up on the pitch during last season’s
They have defeated both English teams they’ve in all the gaps with
faced in Europe: Arsenal in 1997 and Spurs in 2011. a frank account of
Never out of the top flight, but champions only twice, his career so far: how
their former players include Dimitar Berbatov, Lucas a tearaway who only
Perez and Micky Quinn. Their president is Slovakian turned pro at 24 then
Lubos Michel, who refereed the 2008 Champions topped the Premier
League Final between Manchester United and Chelsea. League and wooed
Presumably he has been installed in an attempt to his national team, via

Fan vs Player interviews Richard Edwards; PAOK words Chris Flanagan; Review Joe Brewin
Q: How many league Greek Cup semi-final first leg, when Olympiacos led keep everyone in line. All the best with that, Lubos. arrest, family feuds
goals did Liam Boyce 2-1, before PAOK supporters invaded the playing and threatening to
score last season? surface and the match was abandoned. PAOK refused quit the game for
MM: I reckon... 20?  to turn up for the return leg, resulting in a three-point good just a couple of
AD: It was quite a few. deduction for this year’s Greek Superleague campaign. seasons before his
Er, I’ll go for 17.  PAOK’s rivalry with Olympiacos crosses borders, too: sensational 2015-16.
[Correct answer: 15] their fans have an affiliation with Partizan Belgrade The 29-year-old
(who also wear black and white), while Olympiacos reflects remorsefully
2-1 Fan supporters are pals with Partizan’s enemies, Red Star. on the casino fracas
Setting out their stall with a terrifying double-headed that could’ve brought
Q: In what year did Ross ea le club crest PAOK were formed by Greeks who his ascent to an ugly
County begin their d Constantinople after halt, explains why he
first season in the e Greco-Turkish War. rejected Arsenal, and
Scottish League? shares why few tears
MM: It was definitely were shed when
1994. I can’t get that Esteban Cambiasso
one wrong, can I! 
“PAOK’S POINTS DEDUCTION THIS
departed Leicester
AD: Was it 1996?  the previous year.

SEASON CAME AS THEY REFUSED

This is an amusing,
3-1 forthright account
Fan wins
TO TURN UP FOR A SEMI-FINAL” straight from the
horse’s mouth.

FourFourTwo.com November 2016 19

UPFROnT CHILL OUT Boss Sebastian Beccacece lost
the plot during a Universidad de Chile match,
directing a karate kick at a pitchside fridge

90+1 MInS = WEnGER TIME!

Manchester United have long been kings of the injury-time goal, right? Wrong. Don’t leave early at the Emirates

ARSENAL 1
Forget Fergie Time – anything BOURNEMOUTH 3
after 90 minutes is Wenger Time. BURNLEY 1
Across the last 10 seasons in all CHELSEA 4 7
CRYSTAL PALACE 5 1
divisions, Arsenal have scored 14
EVERTON 2 1
more stoppage-time goals than HULL CITY 0
3
any other current Premier League LEICESTER CITY 2 2
side, and 22 more than Manchester 4
LIVERPOOL 1
5
United. Nearby, though, you may as MANCHESTER CITY 0 0
well try to beat that Stratford traffic. MANCHESTER UNITED 2 2
MIDDLESBROUGH 0 2
SOUTHAMPTON 2 5

6
STOKE CITY 2 0

3
3
SUNDERLAND 6 3

1
4

2
SWANSEA CITY 5

5
4
TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR 5

2
2

5
WATFORD 0

9
4

3
WEST BROMWICH ALBION 5 4

2
2
WEST HAM UNITED 0 6

1
3

4
51

3
4
3
06-07

1
37
36

-08

2
34
34

34
34

2
30

30

07
29
29
29
28

28
26

25
25

24
23

8
9

3
21

-0

4
8
2
08

5
1
5
6
3
6
2
5
1
1
2
5
8
5
5

09-10
TOTAL

10-1
15- 1
16
1
1
3
6
4
5
3

11

6
14
2

6
-1
1

4
-1

1
2

12-1

0
5

13-14
1

3
5
3

2
1

4
1
3

2
2

4
2
7

2
3

0
1

4
2

1
4

4
3

7
2
4

2 2
3

3
2

4
1
4

3 5
5

1 3
4

1
2
4

3 4 3
3

1
8

4 1
3
2

4 1 1
4

1 0
1

2
3

2 2 5
4

1 4 2
6

2
6

3 3
4
1

3 5 2
6

0 3 5
1 4 3
1 0 3
7 1
3
2 4
3 4
1 3
4 5
Design Richard Scott

20 February
November 2016
2016FourFourTwo.com
FourFourTwo.com

“WHAT’S
HE DOInG
HERE?!”
It was just a normal
training session for
Sporting Hackney.
But wait: isn’t that
the top-scoring
goalkeeper in
football history?
When the squad
gathered for a chat £25m
about their next
Middlesex County
Premier Division
fixture, Brazilian
legend Rogerio Ceni
(131 goals for Sao
Paulo) was lurking
mysteriously at one
end of the pitch.
“Before our coach,
Dan, told everyone it
was Rogerio, I was
the only one who HEIGHT
knew it was him,”
laughs Raul Dutra,
Sporting Hackney’s
midfielder. “I have 1.96m
watched the Copa
Libertadores since
I was a kid, so when
I saw him I thought,
‘What the f**k is he NATION
doing here?’ When
Dan explained, it
started to click with
people: ‘Oh, Rogerio
– the guy who scored
from free-kicks!’”
Rogerio retired last
year; visiting England
for a coaching course,
Rogerio Ceni words Jack Lang; Scouting report Matt Barker; Infographic research Ben Clark
he dropped by to
pass on a few tips.
Sadly there wasn’t
time for the Sporting
Hackney keeper to
receive a free-kick
masterclass. Oh well,
Jose Luis Chilavert
might turn up next...
WOULD
YOU BUY
THIS?
UPFROnT
SCOUTING REPORT
Gianluigi Donnarumma
CLUB: Milan
POSITION: Goalkeeper
VALUE
TECHNICAL MENTAL PHYSICAL
Quick reaction speeds Tranquillita – calmness – Hasn’t finished growing
FOOT and good awareness of is the word that crops up yet, but already boasts
space and positioning. most often in Italian press a considerable physical
Also excellent at parrying reports. Unfazed by all the presence, allowing him to
shots, including penalties: attention and pressure, handle crosses and make
R he stared down Toni and took full international himself big for set-pieces.
Kroos during a shootout debut in his stride recently. Agile and goes to ground
in a friendly against Real Welcomes responsibility well, stretching out his
Madrid when he was 16, and loves the big-game body to block out danger.
and saved a 96th-minute atmospheres. Shows signs He’s equally commanding
spot-kick against Torino already of being a future and intimidating in the air,
this season. Grew up club captain, talking jumping to good effect to
playing on a dirt pitch constantly (well, he is deal with high balls, and
that also doubled up Neapolitan) and merrily packing a decent punch.
as a motocross track, bossing his defenders Loves to come off his line
learning to throw himself around. A soothing balm to run at any oncoming
into the fray at an early at a club often fraught attackers, spreading
age. Crucially, he needs with anxiety, he’s a rallying himself to protect his goal.
to work on playing the point for team-mates and His startling maturity has
ball out with his feet, as fans alike. So far the only seen him linked to Real
he can be a little clumsy complaint by the breezy, Madrid and Manchester
with control. Nothing confident 17-year-old has United. As a childhood
ITA a series of training drills been about the lack of Milan fan, though, he looks
can’t quickly iron out. decent pizza in Milan. set to stay put for now.
AGE MANAGER’S NOTES:
17
JOS E M O U R I n H O C H E L S E A P H O n E C A S E
Remember when Jose Mourinho’s appointment at Manchester United
was held up in the summer because Chelsea still held his image rights?
Maybe the Londoners were determined to keep hold of this lucrative
moneymaker – an exquisite Special One iPhone case that puzzlingly
remains on sale from Chelsea’s online store. It’s the perfect gift for any
Blues fan ahead of Manchester United’s visit to the Bridge on October 23,
and good news: it’s been reduced from £15 to 50p. We can’t think why.
FourFourTwo.com November 2016 21
UPFROnT
UPFROnT
> <

GAMES
THAT
CHAnGED
MY LIFE Bury 2 Doncaster 0
March 31, 1981 Division Four

nEVILLE
“Bury were my first Football League club
and I loved it. This was a proper northern
night. I nicked a couple of shots from Ian
Snodin out of the top corner. We ended
up at Everton and had a laugh about it.”

SOUTHALL
Wales 3 Northern Ireland 0
May 27, 1982 Home Nations Ch’ship

“The game that really changes your

life is your first international [far left].
Mine was against Northern Ireland and
Pat Jennings – my hero. It was a low
crowd because the FA Cup final replay
was on the same night, but we won
and I got Pat’s shirt after the game.”

Everton 3 Bayern Munich 1

April 24, 1985 UEFA Cup Winners’ Cup

“There’s only one game I could choose

for Everton: the semi-final [top]. Every
Evertonian I meet was there – hanging
off trees, off the church. The game
was a physical war but it was such an
atmosphere that even winning the final
was an anti-climax after that. Winning
the cup and the league felt great, but
that night was above everything else.

Netherlands 7 Wales 1
November 9, 1996 World Cup qualifier

“It’s rare that you come out of a 7-1

defeat thinking you’ve done well, but
this was my best game for Wales, as
the Dutch had 20 other shots on target
[left]. It was horrendous but fantastic at
the same time. We had a bad build-up,
with the manager [Bobby Gould] picking
three or four different teams; we settled
Interview Chris Flanagan

on a team on the morning of the game.

“IT’S RARE YOU COME OUT OF A 7-1 DEFEAT THINKING YOU’VE They smashed us. It could’ve been 15.”

DONE WELL, BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN 15. THEY SMASHED US” Southall is supporting Scorecher, giving
coaching opportunities to kids across
the world. Visit igg.me/at/teamscorecher

22 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com

 WEIRD WIKI PICS Toninho Cerezo played 57
times for Brazil, but the only picture anyone
UPFROnT
could find was this one of him behind a fence

STAInES’ THE FOOTBALL GRID The behemoths and loudmouths of the pundit world
go head-to-head, via Crufts and a collapsing pier

SWEDISH
MASSIVE
Supporting a team
in non-league is all
about being local,
yes? Not for a group
of hardcore Staines
Town supporters,
who make regular
pilgrimages of over
1,000 miles from
Sweden to see the GARY MARK THIERRY ROBBIE IAN
Name
Isthmian League NEVILLE LAWRENSON HENRY SAVAGE WRIGHT
side. Well, why not?
Well known as the
Swedish Massive – no
doubt Ali G, Staines’
favourite son, would Best
Haunted World-weary Absolute Wedding
approve – they jet to Look turned-out
estate agent supply teacher perfection DJ
Wheatsheaf Park at Crufts
several times each
and every season.
“We all support
different teams in Impeccable
the Premier League Won loads Sheer CV, now
and Championship, Credentials as a player (less bloody-minded with TV hair TV personality
but we wanted one as a coach) staying power added
club that we could Belgium
support together,”
says Goran Rorvall,
one of the group’s Intensely
founders. “Staines Like an end-of-
Insightful, positive or Once zany, now
is one of the most Punditry the-pier comic
if now a bit Gallic negative, and increasingly
convenient places to style whose pier
shell-shocked nowhere in zensible
get to from Heathrow collapsed
between
airport, so we started
coming here in 2010.
There were eight
of us at a match “That’s an
against Lowestoft. Most likely “I remember “Hmmmm...” “Sav, you’re

Staines words Chris Evans; Grid words Si Hawkins; Wikipedia photo Tales.Ebner
“Sorry, what? incredible
“People in Sweden to say... Alex Ferguson [Three-hour ’aving one,
I nodded off” throw-in,
think we’re all a bit saying to me...” pause] mate!”
Fletch!”
eccentric, but most
are envious because
we get to go on some
exciting away trips.” That noise Grabbing Jamie Being oddly
Inexplicably Referencing
Respect. when Torres Carragher’s leg measured
Weirdest saying ‘penis’ Space Jam in
scored at when Liverpool during England’s
moment on Match of England’s defeat
Barça sacked Brendan win over Wales
the Day to Iceland
Rodgers at Euro 2016

Has he ever Yes – he Yes – he dissed

annoyed Yes – he called Almost certainly No – he’s largely
criticised his goal machine
Arsene him “naive” at some point been supportive
transfer policy Olivier Giroud
Wenger?

FourFourTwo.com November 2016 23

 UPFROnT
UPFROnT HIT UNDO, HIT UNDO! UEFA tweeted, then deleted,
a photo of Old Trafford to mark the Champions League’s
> < return – despite Manchester United not being in it. Oops

LEAVE THEM ALOnE, PELE!

O Rei isn’t really going around Sao Paulo kissing dead celebrities (and a Wookiee). No, it’s all in the name of art

D
o you remember that
moment in Star Wars:
The Force Awakens when
Chewie holds Pele in a tender
embrace while they kiss? No, us neither.
That’s because Brazil’s greatest ever
footballer may have done many things
but – so far at least – planting a smacker
on Chewbacca isn’t one of them.
Not that it’s stopped artist Luis Bueno
imagining what that might look like. The
mildly disturbing image is part of a series
of paste-ups inspired by a famous photo
of Pele kissing Muhammad Ali at his
New York Cosmos farewell match.
Bueno decided to replace Ali with
other famous characters – most of them
real, and dead – and paste his artworks
on walls and posts around Sao Paulo.
Among those being snogged are David
Bowie, Bob Marley, Marilyn Monroe,
Salvador Dali and Amy Winehouse.
“Pele is a great figure of Brazilian
culture – he goes beyond football,” the
artist tells FFT. “The gesture of a kiss
touches everyone, and there’s no better
person than him to symbolise that.”
Bueno has even put the artwork on
show further afield, taking a Mona Lisa
effort to London. “I pasted three in the
Brick Lane area, but they weren’t there
when I passed through again later that
night,” he says. “Apparently they were
taken down very carefully by someone
who decided to decorate his home.”
So what does Pele himself think of
the creativity? Bueno’s keen to find out.
“I want to meet him one day,” he says.
“If not, I’ll send him a paste-up.” That’s
worthy of a thank-you smooch, surely.
Words Marcus Alves

24 February
November 2016
2016FourFourTwo.com
FourFourTwo.com
 UPFROnT

INTERVIEW

JOSHUA
KIMMICH
The 21-year-old has emerged as
German football’s new star after
a very public telling-off from Pep

You’ve already established yourself with Bayern

Munich and Germany. How pleasing is that?
It’s like a dream coming true. First I went from
Stuttgart to Leipzig in the third division, then we
got promoted, and then I had one year in the
second tier before coming to Bayern Munich.
I didn’t expect to play so many games! I have
played a lot, and in my first season we won the
Bundesliga and the DFB-Pokal – then I was with
the national team at the Euros. It’s been amazing.

What was it like to work under Pep Guardiola?

He was very important for me. It’s important to
have a coach who trusts you, and Pep trusted me.
He gave me the opportunity to play in the league,
the DFB-Pokal and the Champions League, and
that’s why I went to Euro 2016. He focuses on
every detail and wants to make every player
better. He’s never satisfied; he always wants more.

Guardiola made headlines in a 0-0 draw against

Borussia Dortmund last season when he raced
“PEP RAN ONTO THE PITCH AT
onto the field at full-time and began telling you
off in animated fashion. What did he say to you?
FULL-TIME TO TELL ME WHAT
[Smiles] Yes, he wasn’t so happy with one thing
I did during the game… I played the match as I’D DONE WRONG. THAT’S HOW HE
WORKS – HE’S FULL OF EMOTIONS”
a central defender until the last few minutes,
Interview Chris Flanagan

when I was in midfield. Xavi played for him in

midfield and he did it a bit differently to me, so
the manager was not happy. He wanted to tell
me what I had done wrong and that I had to
do it better in the next game! That’s how he

3 CAREER
HIGHLIGHTS
Promotion ace
Goes up with RB Leipzig after being
sold by Stuttgart – a “fatal mistake”,
says manager Alexander Zorniger,
who adds: “I’d like everyone slain
who was involved in this decision.”
A chance in France
Germany’s full-backs appear
immobile early on at Euro 2016,
so Kimmich comes in at right-back
against Northern Ireland and
goes from strength to strength.
Goal spree
Having scored only three senior
goals, Kimmich then nets four in
three games during September:
a first goal for Germany, a strike at
Schalke and two against Rostov.

26 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com

 UPFROnT
3
PENALTY KING Cammy Bell saved three spot-kicks from
three different takers in the first half of Dundee United’s
3-1 win at Dunfermline in the Scottish Championship

works: he’s full of emotions, so he

didn’t think about it but just came
onto the pitch. For other people it
could have looked a bit strange, but
I knew he just wanted to help me out.

How many different positions have

you played in during your career?
Last season I had a lot of positions!
[Laughs] At the Euros with Germany
I played at right-back, and with Pep
at Bayern I played at right-back and
centre-back, central midfield – even
sometimes as a winger. Everything is
possible! I think my best position is in
the centre of midfield, but sometimes
there are more players who can play
in midfield, so it’s a benefit to be able
to play in other positions. That’s the
reason why I played at the Euros.

How proud were you to be named

in UEFA’s Team of the Tournament
for your displays at Euro 2016?
I know exactly how it was as a kid to
see the players at the Euros or the
World Cup, so it’s always a very
special feeling to be on the pitch
with the German national team.
I had the opportunity to feature
in a semi-final, and when I was

GREAT
in the Team of the Tournament
I was very happy. The reaction
was great back in my little village

GOALS
at home. People got a bit crazy –

David Platt
when I got back home there were

RETOLD
lots of people with shirts and caps
for me to sign. I’m happy there was
a positive reaction. For me it was a bit
strange that I was in the squad and vs Parma, Coppa Italia, 1994
out on the pitch. Everything went so
quickly. It was just like a dream.

You were born in Rottweil and Joe Hart may be the exception rather than the The Genoese side, whose nicknames include
you’re a midfielder, so surely you rule these days, but an England star venturing the imaginative pair of ‘Samp’ and ‘Doria’, fell
should be known as ‘the Rottweiler’. overseas to Serie A is nothing new. behind in the first leg of the semi-final when Tino
Would you like that nickname? Four of Bobby Robson’s 1990 World Cup squad Asprilla netted for visiting Parma. However, Attilio
[Laughs] Maybe. No one has called me made the move to Italy, with Paul Gascoigne, Des Lombardo levelled, before Platt produced a rocket
that yet! I actually lived in Bosingen, Walker and Tony Dorigo all following David Platt, of an overhead kick to give Sampdoria a 2-1 win.
a little village 10km from Rottweil with the first to take the plunge in 1991. “We always had a goal in us,” Platt says. “Ruud
only 1,700 people in it. But maybe the The midfielder joined Bari and later Juventus, Gullit went up with the defender, and the beauty
nickname will come in the future! but his happiest days came at Sampdoria, where of playing in that team was that I could break from
his friendship with Roberto Mancini blossomed midfield onto those knockdowns. Neither
You’ve spoken about Bastian under the tutelage of Sven-Goran Eriksson. Ruud nor the defender really won the
Schweinsteiger being one of your “Mancini was god-like,” Platt tells FFT, of the ball, and it bounced down. There were
inspirations, growing up. Why do man who would later add him to the coaching acrobatic things that I tried in training,
you admire him so much? staff at Manchester City. “Playing and the ball ended up in the net because
Words Pete Hall; Illustration German Aczel

Schweinsteiger is a great leader. He alongside him was the I had the ability to produce that goal.
had a great career with the national time of my life. I’d love “It helped to put us through. No
team, winning the World Cup, and he to do it all over again.” disrespect to Ancona, who we met
won the Bundesliga eight times and Platt played a pivotal in the final, but they were a Serie B
the DFB-Pokal seven times. He won role in an attack-minded side. The winner of our semi-final
the Champions League, and he also side and Sampdoria’s was likely to lift the Coppa.”
jumped a step from the youth team 1994 Coppa Italia win Sampdoria did just that,
at Bayern Munich to the first team – was a just reward for thrashing Ancona 6-1. They
that’s not very easy. If I could have their adventurous style. haven’t won a trophy since.
a career like his, I would be happy.

FourFourTwo.com November 2016 27

 UPFROnT
UPFROnT “SOD THIS” In Bulgaria, Botev Plovdiv manager Nikolay
Mitov quit after just two hours in charge, following protests
> < at training from fans who were angry at his appointment
CLUB OWnERS
THE
TALKInG
POInT
Rory Smith is a FourFourTwo
columnist and chief football
correspondent at the New York
Times. This month: why buying
a club ain’t like it used to be
T
he fans came, some 3,000 of them, for the second annual day of rage. The
previous year, they had arrived armed with smoke bombs and firecrackers;
this time, they carried placards and banners. Some wore clown masks. Others
dressed up in full Grim Reaper garb. A plane buzzed overhead with a message
to the club’s owners trailing in its wake: ‘CLUB KILLERS, GET OUT NOW’.
In the past decade or so, the sight of supporters protesting against their teams’
self-appointed custodians has become sadly familiar. Cardiff fans demonstrated
against Vincent Tan when he changed the colour of their shirts from the traditional
Bluebirds blue to ‘lucky’ red. Blackburn supporters released chickens at Ewood Park to
Illustrations David Mahoney, Nate Kitch
show their contempt for their proprietors Venky’s, the Indian poultry conglomerate.
The first game of Hull’s return to the Premier League this season should have been
an occasion for unbridled joy. Instead it was used as a stage to demand that Assem
Allam – who wanted the club’s name to include the word ‘Tigers’ – sell up and leave.
In each case, the acrimony was explained away as a reaction to foreign owners
arriving on British shores and failing to understand the cultural significance of the
traditional institutions they had bought. To fans, a club is much more than an asset
on a balance sheet. Club colours, names and badges aren’t there to be rebranded.
As those 3,000 supporters shouting beneath a circling plane will tell you, though,
foreign owners don’t have a monopoly on mismanagement. Their signs demanded
28 February
November 2016
2016FourFourTwo.com
FourFourTwo.com
AS BLACKPOOL FANS WILL
ATTEST, FOREIGN OWNERS
DON’T HAVE A MONOPOLY
ON MISMANAGEMENT
the removal not of some distant investor lured
in by English football’s riches, but that of the
Oyston family, reviled owners of Blackpool FC.
The Oystons are local and have been involved
with the club for years, but that doesn’t make
them beyond reproach. Far from it: since their
one season in the Premier League in 2010-11,
they have overseen a decline both rapid and
sustained. They have not invested money in
the training ground, nor the playing squad.
They have left Blackpool to wither and die.
The Oyston family aren’t alone. Leeds fans may
have become so desperate to rid their club of the
volatile Massimo Cellino that they beamed the
slogan “Time To Go, Massimo” onto the stands
at Elland Road last year, but they don’t exactly
yearn for the angry, bitter days of Ken Bates.
At Newcastle, too, they might raise an eyebrow
at the idea that foreign owners are worse than
natives. No foreign owner changed the name
of their stadium. No foreign owner emblazoned
their shirts with the branding of a pay-day loan
lender. No foreign owner decreed their team
shouldn’t try to win cups, as the rewards for just
existing in the Premier League are so great. An
English one, however, has done all that and more.
Nationality is not the deciding factor in
determining who will make a trustworthy
guardian for a club. Incompetence knows no borders. It isn’t the language an owner
speaks that matters. What counts is whether they can deliver on what they say.
We are, in broad terms, in the second phase of widespread, global investment
into English football. The first wave swept up all of the country’s blue-chip brands:
big money was attracted to big names, with Manchester United, Arsenal, Liverpool,
Chelsea, Aston Villa and Newcastle, among others, all bought and later sold.
Manchester City’s second takeover in 2008 marked a turning point. The relative
cost incurred by Sheikh Mansour in turning the Citizens into genuine players in
the Premier League – compared to the amount spent by Roman Abramovich at
Chelsea since the Russian’s arrival in 2003 – essentially closed the door on buyers
hoping to acquire Premier League clubs. The funds required to break into that elite
group precluded all but the very wealthiest even attempting it.
Instead, attracted by the booming broadcasting deals, investors have turned their
attentions to smaller top-flight sides, among them Swansea and Crystal Palace, who
can deliver reliable but unspectacular returns for minimal input.
Those prepared to take a greater risk, meanwhile, have sought out Championship
clubs that might, for a much smaller outlay, be able to secure promotion to the
Premier League. Once there, the owners earn their rewards: either the income
from television rights or a quick sale at a significant mark-up.
Strictly speaking, that should be in everybody’s interests: after all, there’s nothing
wrong with owners wanting to do all they can to try to get their team promoted.
Unfortunately, it is not that simple. The lower the entry price – and the higher the
potential prize – for owning a club, the more diluted the investors’ quality. Such
circumstances, exacerbated at distressed assets such as Leeds, Portsmouth and
Charlton, attract the speculators and the snake oil sellers; the wolves and the
vultures. Many don’t have the reserves of cash or patience required; others don’t
realise quite what they’re taking on, or try to bail out once things turn sour.
That is as true for British owners as it is foreign ones. Where the money comes
from does not matter nearly as much as where it hopes to go.
 WIN Adidas X 16+ Purechaos FG boot
for Star Letter and Trusox for Spine Li
UPFROnT
courtesy of

@FOURFOURTWO
442letters@haymarket.com
TWEETS
FourFourTwoUK @mansfieldtownfc
EVENTS NEWS: Due to
unforeseen circumstances,
FourFourTwo clairvoyant Trisha will not be
appearing in the Kevin Bird
Suite tomorrow night.

STAR
4
BoringMilner

LETTER I just asked Mignolet if he

realises that the last five shots
PELE HAD IT EASY on target he’s faced have all
gone in. He said, ‘Now’s not
The article on Pele at the time, James.’
Santos [FFT 268] was
@jimfrompreston
a good read and put
his 1,000-goal claim END THIS MADNESS immediately assign blame? If I was
As fans we want to see the best players, playing in a side 3-0 down at half-time
into perspective. As you but clubs are paying massive sums of and my team-mates and boss spent
reported, a lot of those money to get them. Paul Pogba was the interval yelling and blaming each
sold to Manchester United for £89m, other, I’d dread going back out for the
goals came in friendlies, and even players who are just slightly second period. Managers and pundits
which lack competitiveness above average join clubs for ludicrous really should have a basic grasp of the
amounts: Christian Benteke went to importance of psychology and the need
and are often high-scoring. Crystal Palace for £32m, while Palace to treat each of their players differently.
For a player of his calibre, themselves stuck a £50m price tag on William Fleming, Whitley Bay Should my stepdad sign up

it was far too easy. Today, Wilfried Zaha. Will prices ever stop going
up? Will UEFA have to cap spending on ATHLETIC BASQUE IN GLORY
as his doppelganger?!
@FourFourTwo #klopp
people downgrade players’ an individual player before it gets silly? While academies at big teams such as

achievements if they come Josh Jones, via email PSG seem to be non-existent, Athletic
Bilbao are flourishing with their policy
@ODonnellDale
The Jurgen Klopp feature
in an international against STOP THE BLAME GAME that only players native to the Basque by @OliverKayTimes in
@FourFourTwo is excellent.
San Marino, or if the player I’ve noticed this season that pundits
are saying quite often that managers
region can turn out for them. If they
wanted to abolish the policy to try to A must-read.
isn’t in the Premier League, should ‘dig out’ their players who are compete with the big boys, they could –

yet Pele’s goal record isn’t performing poorly. Most noticeably

it is a mantra for British pundits; less
but why destroy this brilliant idea that
has made Athletic a community club? If
@Matt_Barlow_DM
John Hart starts in goal for
criticised in the same way. so, the foreign contingent. So is it any the likes of Manchester City and Arsenal Torino. Disappointing for Joe
wonder that most clubs choose to bring instilled this policy in their youth teams, and those who came to see
Manvir Singh Nahal, in foreign managers when the British English football could flourish again. him make his debut.
Coventry reaction to a poor performance is to Max Morrison, Scotland

WHAT’S
On YOUR
MInD THIS
MOnTH ENGLAND: BLANC SLATE
Sam Allardyce is not
going to move England
forward – let’s get a man
with experience at the
top, like Laurent Blanc.
Henry Wadsworth
CRYING FOUL
The new refereeing rules
are ruining football. Refs,
players and us fans are
now confused by what
is a foul and what isn’t.
Leon Davis
BALDWIN THE BOSS
Watford just seem to be
appointing a string of
lookalikes – firstly the
Spanish Phil Brown, now
an Italian Alec Baldwin.
Alex McCain
CITY FOR THE TITLE
Pep Guardiola’s lethal
attacking football and
KOEMAN PRAISE
Everton underachieved
when Roberto Martinez
high-pressing intensity was in charge – they
will clinch the title for now have a top boss
Man City, without doubt. in Ronald Koeman.
Ben Grace John Heckingbottom

LAST MONTH’S SPINE LINE: “‘A penalty is a cowardly way to score’ is a quote from the great Pele – who, ironically, scored his 1,000th goal from the spot,” says
Eddie Cassidy, via email. Well done, Eddie: a pair of Trusox are yours. Reading this and thinking of entering Spine Line via Twitter this month? Include #FFTSpineLine
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m
anchester United’s players trudge across the training ground’s
manicured lawns to the sanctuary of the changing rooms. But on this
nondescript Lancashire morning, the squad’s newest foreign recruit
doesn’t join them. Instead he approaches the manager, who’s under
pressure to deliver domestic success after another limp campaign.
“I need two players,” he tells his boss, a greying disciplinarian
well known for his all-encompassing desire to win.
“What for?” comes the manager’s perplexed reply.
“To practise.”
Two keen-as-mustard youth-teamers are soon dispatched to deliver
crosses for the newbie, who spends the next half-hour smashing
volleys past a helpless goalkeeper with unerring regularity.
Word reaches the dressing room, who have already heard about
their new team-mate’s reputation as a fierce trainer.
The following day, he has company. It’s the same the day after that.
And the next day, and the next day, and in every session for the rest of
the season, until the Red Devils lift the Premier League – their first
top-flight title since 1967. They’d win three of the following four
championships. The one year they didn’t, that fearsome, natural-born
winner with the aloof shrug was suspended for a karate kick.
Eric Cantona’s impact on Manchester United cannot be overstated. His
arrival in November 1992, at a club that had stagnated since their glory
34 November
February 2016
2016FourFourTwo.com
FourFourTwo.com
days in the ’60s, inspired nothing short of a revolution. Training had a new
zip. Alex Ferguson’s squad had a new belief. Old Trafford had a new king.
Nearly a quarter of a century later, Manchester United needed to
inject more blue blood into a listing giant. Jose Mourinho knew he had
to redress the dour sterility of Louis van Gaal’s reign. Like Ferguson in
1992, he needed a winner with attitude. He needed Zlatan Ibrahimovic.
“I won’t be King of Manchester,” said the 35-year-old Swede with
typical bombast, after Cantona had offered the role of prince to his
stylistic successor at Old Trafford. Instead: “I’ll be God of Manchester.”
Really, Zlatan? Does someone in the autumn of their career, who has
won league titles in four different countries, still have the stomach for
the fight to back up his narcissistic caricature?
Can one man really turn underachievers into title contenders?
A DEEP-ROOTED DISRESPECT FOR AUTHORITY IN BORN
Zlatan Ibrahimovic is a far better footballer than he was a thief.
Growing up on the notorious Rosengaard estate, east of Malmo,
he would pick bike locks for fun because it made him feel alive. One
day, young Zlatan and a friend went to Wessels department store,
halfway between Rosengaard and downtown Malmo. Immediately
raising suspicions by wearing Puffa jackets in the middle of summer,
they were caught stealing £120 worth of goods, including four
table tennis bats. Ibrahimovic escaped a colossal telling-off from
his father, Sefik, but only because he intercepted the letter that had
been sent home to inform Sefik of his transgression.
A macho bricklayer-turned-caretaker, Sefik spent most of his time
drinking beer and listening to music from his Yugoslav homeland,
but he bonded with his son over Jackie Chan movies and old boxing
bouts involving Muhammad Ali, George Foreman and Mike Tyson.
Sefik and Zlatan’s mother, a cleaner named Jurka, had split up
when the boy was two years old.
“My dad was never there,” Ibra recalled of his early days playing for
local side FBK Balkan, populated mainly by immigrants from the former
Yugoslavia. “I looked after myself. Maybe it did hurt. I can’t really tell.”
Such independence gave rise to a disrespect for authority that has
never deserted him. Small, thin and with a big nose, he hated going
to Sorgenfriskolan school, largely because he had a lisp and found the
idea of having a speech therapist humiliating.
“I’ve been at this school for 33 years and he is easily in the top five
most unruly pupils we have ever had,” Agneta Cederbom, Zlatan’s
headmistress at Sorgenfriskolan school, once said. “He was a one-man
show – completely outstanding in his field, and a prototype of the kind
of child that ends up in serious trouble. I think things could have gone
horribly wrong if it hadn’t been for the football.”
Yet football he had, earning his place at Malmo as an 11-year-old
after his father had encouraged him to try out.
“I’m not exaggerating when I say that he played eight hours of
football each day,” Ola Gallstad, Ibrahimovic’s coach at Malmo from 14
until 18, tells FFT. “He was living the dream. He barely missed a training
session. He would go home and play at the concrete court by his house.
“He wasn’t exactly someone who got you to think, ‘Oh wow, this guy
they must have brought down from heaven.’ Actually, another young
guy called Tony Flygare got more attention at the time. It wasn’t until
he was 16 that Zlatan really started to stand out.”
Previously, he’d stood out for other reasons. Two parents tried to eject
Zlatan – one of only two players of non-Swedish extraction – from the
club for shouting at one of his team-mates. Then headbutting him.
“He came from a hard environment out in Rosengaard where you
had to stand up for yourself,” Gallstad recalls. “Many have an image
of him as ‘the bad guy’ but I don’t think Zlatan was a troublemaker –
quite the opposite, in fact. When he was fired up, he’d be the one
defending his team, standing up for his mates.”
Gradually, Zlatan became Malmo’s hottest prospect, and it was
because of, not in spite of, that anti-Swedish mentality. Most
Scandinavians are brought up on the concept of Jantelagen – a social
democracy that roughly means everyone is the same – yet Ibra
had always been fascinated by Brazilian football’s individualism,
especially the brand of it displayed by Ronaldo. Even scoring a goal
mattered less than a trick, a flick or a piece of skill.
In 2000 Malmo were at their lowest ebb, relegated to the second tier
for the first time in their 90-year history, and Zlatan got his first-team
chance. That season, film-makers Magnus and Fredrik Gertten were
making Vagen Tillbaka (‘The Road Back’), a documentary about Malmo’s
attempt to return to the top flight at the first attempt. Ibrahimovic,
who’d made just six first-team appearances, was only 18 years old
but already something of a cult hero. He fascinated them.
“We couldn’t use a lot of the Zlatan footage for the documentary,
but we kept the tapes in our basement because it was so interesting,”
Magnus tells FFT. “After Zlatan wrote his autobiography, we decided
to release it. When we met him in those early years, we were really
close to him. He was spontaneous and open to us.”
The footage is extraordinary. It perfectly captures a glorious mixture
of adolescent bravado and uncertain angst at the future. Ibrahimovic
is yet to properly fill out and carries himself like the gawky teenager
he is. Shoulders hunched, he’s always irritated, and bounces from
unintelligible mutterings on camera to excitable exclamations. Though
the confidence is clearly there to see in his on-pitch dribbling, this figure
is a million miles away from the uber-confident demi-god we see today.
“I can be difficult to get along with,” he says in one video. “Sometimes
my team-mates get mad at me. It’s part of the game – it’s no fun if you
can’t dribble. Football is supposed to be fun. If it isn’t, what’s the point?”
FIRST SEASOn
TrOPHY COUnT
1998-99 Malmo None
2001-02 Ajax Eredivisie, KNVB Cup
2004-05 Juventus Serie A (Later revoked due to match-fixing scandal)
2006-07 Inter Serie A, Supercoppa Italia
2009-10 Barcelona La Liga, Supercopa de Espana, UEFA Super Cup, FIFA Club World Cup
2010-11 Milan Serie A
2012-13 PSG Ligue 1
That season, Ibrahimovic established himself as the club’s first-choice
striker, finding the net 12 times as the 1979 European Cup runners-up
returned to the Swedish top flight. His Malmo team-mates, however,
didn’t necessarily buy into Zlatan-mania.
“He has started to think he’s above the team – he’s not the star yet,”
sighed captain Hasse Mattisson at one point. “If he starts juggling by
the corner flag then all of a sudden he’s the new Diego Maradona.
Well, we can do that, too, but we don’t.”
Magnus believes it is that same Swedish mistrust of difference. “Zlatan
didn’t accept the hierarchy of how the first team worked,” he says.
“I remember someone from another club saying, ‘Who does he think
he is?’ I think there was some prejudice against him as well.
“Perhaps some players thought that Zlatan wouldn’t be smart or
strong enough to make it at the top level.”
By the end of that promotion-winning season, 19-year-old
Ibrahimovic would be sold to Ajax for €8.7 million. Dressing-room
footage shows skipper Mattisson stunned after reading the newspaper,
saying only: “Well, I guess I will have to congratulate him.” Grinning
from ear to ear, Zlatan bursts into shot with a look on his face
that screams: “I told you I was brilliant.”
“I don’t think Mattisson, who I know well, meant anything bad
with it,” says Malmo youth-team coach Gallstad. “If a teenager comes
in and is a bit tough towards those who are 30, then it’s natural they
give him the eye. Not that Zlatan really cared about that.”
“HE WANTS EVERYTHING TO REVOLVE AROUND HIM”
Ajax knew what they were getting: a radical, yes, who would always
follow his own path, but also a born winner. If Ibrahimovic’s troubles
with his older Malmo team-mates signify anything, it’s his unshakable
desire to achieve – something reflected in his domestic record. Since
leaving Malmo in 2001, he has won 13 of the 15 domestic league titles
on offer during his time with Ajax, Juventus, Inter, Barcelona, Milan and
Paris Saint-Germain. The path is pretty clear: wherever Zlatan goes,
success inevitably follows.
This is no coincidence. Ibra wants to win in every training session,
every practice match, and it was one such game that secured his move
to Ajax. Malmo played a friendly against a semi-pro side in March 2001.
The goal he scored that day – a solo run past three defenders, capped
with a delicate finish – is still on YouTube.
“After watching for 15 minutes, I’d seen enough,” Leo Beenhakker,
former Real Madrid and Netherlands manager who at that time was
Ajax’s technical director, tells FFT. With Zlatan also on the radar of the
club’s Scandinavian scout, John Steen Olsen, for at least 12 months,
the Dutch side moved quickly to beat off competition from Roma while
Fabio Capello awaited his chairman’s approval.
FourFourTwo.com November 2016 35
 ZLATAn

Beenhakker continues: “When we’d concluded the deal, I told him
jokingly, ‘If you f**k me, I f**k you.’ But he looked at me and said, ‘No
worries – I’ll not f**k you. I’ll make it happen.’ He showed unquenchable
ambition and he had such willpower, like: ‘I will and must succeed.’”
Beenhakker wouldn’t be left disappointed.
“F th t t h t ined very well and busied himself securing
ng order. I like that. Give me 11 of those
nd you’ll win titles. They might be difficult
h, but on it they will give everything for you.”
ny of Ibrahimovic’s former team-mates or
nd they will offer similar training stories.
ys been very serious during training,” Roberto
o managed Ibra at Inter from 2006 to 2008,
T. “He knows he’s the best, and he’ll tell you
t, but he’s the go-to guy if you want to win.
“He can be a tough player to handle, but
I never had problems with him because he
will make the difference. Every great player
wants to win, and Zlatan’s no different.”
“He’s really boring,” laughs ex-Inter
left-back Cesar Rodrigues. “You need to watch
your every move around him because he’s so
demanding. He wants everything to revolve
around him; to be the centre of attention.”
In one of his first training sessions at Ajax, Ibrahimovic showed
talent and also his penchant for individuality.
“We played 11 vs 11, where only two touches were allowed,” recalls
the Amsterdammers’ former Norway international, Andre Bergdolmo.
“From the moment you had a third touch, you couldn’t pass it to
a team-mate and were only allowed to dribble it by yourself. Zlatan
touched it too many times and was reprimanded by the coaches.
“He was still inside his own half, but dribbled all the way to the
goal. Before scoring, he stopped on the goal-line, put his foot on
the ball and then boastfully asked: ‘Is it OK now?’”
Such exacting standards are expected across the Zlatan spectrum.
“He’s always complaining during training – it’s a part of him,” says his
former Juventus team-mate, Emerson. “Someone who doesn’t know
him might take it in a negative way. If you don’t give him the ball, he’ll
get pissed off. But it doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy. He’s definitely not.”
At PSG, one youth-team player was told to “go home and write on the
calendar that you trained with me, as this is the last time it’ll happen”.
The Swede had been less than impressed with the youngster’s efforts.
It isn’t just easy targets in his sights, though. At Milan in 2011,
bored midfield Rottweiler Gennaro Gattuso began throwing grapes
across the dressing room at Ibrahimovic. “If you don’t stop that, I’ll put
you in that f**king bin,” smiled Zlatan. Keen to see what would happen,
Gattuso carried on. Ibra stood up, grabbed the Italian midfielder by the
waist and dumped him in with the dirty kit and tape. Face first.
The squad, Gattuso included, fell about laughing.
That said, Ibra doesn’t take too kindly to the shoe being on the other
foot. Such a dominant win-at-all costs personality can’t come without
confrontation in the dressing room. Of all the stories that have attached

GOALS PER GAME

themselves to Ibrahimovic over the years, one stands out: the infamous
scissor-throwing incident with Mido, at Ajax in March 2002.
The pair, who were firm friends, had argued throughout
a frustrating 1-1 draw with PSV, each accusing the other of playing
only for themselves. In Ibra’s mind, the Egyptian’s selfishness –
Maturing in age like a fine wine, Ibrahimovic has upped his strike rate at each regardless of his own – was damaging Ajax’s chances of victory.
new club, signing off at PSG last season by scoring 50 goals in all competitions “They kept arguing all the way down the tunnel,” says Bergdolmo.
“They were sat opposite each other in the dressing room. I was next
Goals Games to Zlatan. Then: ‘BANG!’ Mido had thrown a pair of scissors with all his
strength, hitting the wall as Ibra ducked, missing his eye by a whisker.
0 10 20 30 40 51 “We all stopped. Zlatan’s face went white, his eyes turned black and
he just flipped out. Other players and I jumped at him, trying to avoid
1999 Malmo
a fight. If we hadn’t been there, anything could have happened.”
2000 Malmo David Endt, who spent more than 30 years at Ajax as a player,
youth-team coach and general manager, was next door.
2001 Malmo
“I still have those scissors in a draw! I knew this was something
2001-02 Ajax special,” Endt tells FFT. “The next day, we arrived for training more
than a little worried. And who was sat there together but Zlatan and
2002-03 Ajax
Mido, with their arms around each other? Mido laughed: ‘I could have
2003-04 Ajax killed you.’ And Ibrahimovic laughed with him. They solved the problem
like hard lads in the street, with respect and understanding. They have
2004-05 Ajax
that similar uncontrollable personality.
2004-05 Juventus “Mido was a good player, but Zlatan also had the head to turn his
talent into something more concrete. Zlatan had brains. Mido didn’t.”
2005-06 Juventus

2006-07 Inter WHO IS THE REAL ZLATAN?

Such stories feed the self-referential ‘I Am Zlatan’ persona that has
2007-08 Inter
taken on a life of its own. It even has its own digital avatar that
2008-09 Inter participates in occasional web chats live on YouTube.
“Zlatan doesn’t do auditions,” the real thing told Arsene Wenger on
2009-10 Barcelona
trial at Arsenal. What did he get his partner, Helena, for her birthday?
2010-11 Barcelona “Nothing – she already has Zlatan.” There are plenty more Zlatanisms.
The truth, however, is seldom so clear-cut. Ibrahimovic’s self-belief
2010-11 Milan
may be the central cog to his consistency, longevity and extensive
2011-12 Milan trophy haul, but those who know Zlatan best – the real Zlatan – reveal
a complex character who is a world removed from the caricature that
2012-13 PSG
often talks about himself in the third person.
2013-14 PSG First, let’s dispel those myths. Malmo’s director of football, Hasse Borg,
advised him not to play in the trial match for Arsenal, telling Wenger
2014-15 PSG
that they either wanted to buy Ibrahimovic or they didn’t. As for Helena
2015-16 PSG – the mother of his two children, whom he credits with turning his life

36 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com


around, and whose drive he once raked after doing wheel spins on it
in his Porsche – Zlatan would never dare speak about her in that
manner. It was an off-the-cuff remark about his one-time fiancée.
For all of the chest-out peacocking, Ibrahimovic has frequently been
wracked by self-doubt, especially in his early Ajax days, when he was
mercilessly derided as something of a joke.
“Every Monday after a match, he used to come into my office to talk,”
says Beenhakker, the man who brought him to the Dutch club. “Zlatan’s
human moments make for dear memories. We would talk about how
to come back and work hard to be prepared for the next game.”
“Every time he left, he’d say: ‘I know I didn’t play well yesterday,
but I’ll show everyone what I can do.’ His inner drive overcame his
emotions. I have never doubted him for one minute.”
Ibrahimovic’s biggest struggle was adapting to Ajax’s one-size-fits-all
approach to youth development, which always prizes the system over
the individual. The dribble that so enchanted team-mate Bergdolmo
in one of his first training sessions also infuriated his coaches.
“He struggled to lose this tendency to show off,” says former general
manager Endt. “Too often, he missed chances or refused to play
a simple pass to a team-mate who was in a better position.
“But we also had the wrong approach. There’s a tendency at Ajax
to say that we know things better and to tell people what to do.
This created a natural resistance with Zlatan, because his difficult
childhood meant he mistrusted everyone. The rebel came out.
“After a while, I asked Sweden’s assistant coach, Tommy Soderberg,
what to do. He said that you have to convince Zlatan you’re not the
teacher and he’s not the pupil. Give him responsibility, show him respect
by asking what he thinks, and he’ll open up. It was a real eye-opener.’”
Ibrahimovic’s ill-fated season at Barcelona is a case in point. They
spent a season telling him what to do and how to play. Football felt
like school, right down to their demanding that he drive his club Audi
everywhere. To prove a point, he parked his Ferrari at the training
ground the following day. It caused a scene.
In those early Ajax months, only one person could make him listen.
“Marco van Basten was in charge of the youth team and spent a lot
of time with Zlatan,” says Endt. Ibrahimovic has admitted he was
ZLATAn
“HE STRUGGLED TO LOSE THIS TEnDEnCY
TO SHOW OFF, BUT MARCO VAn BASTEn GOT
THROUGH TO HIM WITH JUST TWO SEnTEnCES”
“like a little boy” around the Dutch legend, the pair frequently taking Above Savouring
bets over how many goals the Swede would score in the next game. a European strike
Endt continues: “Van Basten used to tell him, ‘In football it’s nice to be against old boys
a great technician, but at the end of each season people will count how Barcelona in Paris
many goals you scored; how useful you are to the team. Focus on that.’
“Anyone else could talk for hours to get through to him, but just two
sentences from Van Basten was enough for him to see he must change.”
Life in Amsterdam was difficult for Ibrahimovic. Cut off from his
Rosengaard support network, Zlatan grew homesick. The situation was
worsened by the young player spending all of his money on a brand
new car, not realising he’d have to wait until the end of his first month
to get paid again. The first person he met at the airport helped him out.
“We’ve known each other since our first day in Amsterdam,” says
Maxwell, the PSG left-back and Ibra’s best friend in football. The pair
have been team-mates at Ajax, Inter, Barcelona and PSG. “We did
almost everything together,” the Brazilian tells FFT. “One day he called
me, saying: ‘Maxwell, I have nothing to eat – let me stay at your house.’
He stayed with me for one month. That’s how our friendship was built.”
It’s a side that few outside Ibrahimovic’s inner circle ever get to see.
“Ours is a friendship that will remain after football, which is rare,”
continues the 35-year-old defender. “He’s like a brother to me. He was
a very important person in the worst moment of my life, when I lost my
brother Gustavo in a car accident six months after I had moved to Ajax.
I had no one with me. He was one of the first people to say kind words.
We’ve always been there for each other.”
FourFourTwo.com November 2016 37
 ZLATAn

Right Six years later, This Zlatan scarcely resembles the same person we think we know.
they’d be the three “That’s definitely a character he has created – a mask,” says Endt.
biggest personalities “It’s a way to protect himself, as he likes to be this larger-than-life
in Manchester persona. He has always been a bit insecure.
Below Cantona set “On the outside, Zlatan is like a guy from a movie, but inside he’s
the bar for Ibra to hit quite quiet. You just don’t see it very often.
United like a tornado “Look at his relationship with Maxwell. They are total opposites:
Maxwell is like the perfect English schoolboy. Yet Ibrahimovic would
often ask him, ‘How did I play today?’ He wants people to confirm
his talent; to tell him that he’s doing well.”
Ibrahimovic’s relationship with football bears an interesting
parallel to that of Steven Gerrard and Liverpool after the club won the
2005 Champions League Final. The Reds’ captain had just become
European champion, but he nearly left Anfield a few weeks later
because he needed his club’s reassuring nod that he was playing well.
The more Zlatan plays the egotistical prince, the more the wider
football public listens. One of the first boasts, specifically about twisting
and turning Liverpool’s Stephane Henchoz – “First I went left and he
did, too; then I went right and he did, too; then I went left again and
he went to buy a hot dog” – became typical of what followed.
“Do you believe in God?” he asked a nervous Carlo Ancelotti as PSG
closed in on the 2012-13 Ligue 1 title, their first for 19 years. Ancelotti
said he did. Ibra’s reply: “Good, so you believe in me. You can relax.”
“I don’t think he’s changed a lot,” Roberto Mancini tells FFT. “I guess Ignored by Sweden’s national youth teams until he was 18, due to
because he’s more experienced, but I don’t think he his anarchic anti-establishmentarianism, Zlatan is powered by revenge.
aracter. He is still just Zlatan.” He holds grudges, too, and claims he will never forgive Hasse Borg,
Malmo sporting director, for securing the best deal for the club and not
HE PRESS AGAIN, I’LL BREAK BOTH OF YOUR LEGS Ibrahimovic by selling him to Ajax. Yet it drove him to new heights.
UR F**KING HEAD” “Soon after he arrived, he asked me how much I thought he was
eople who stood by him during the tough times – earning,” former Ajax defender Bergdolmo tells FFT. “I made a guess,
to inspire the maniacal Zlatan pastiche that he so partly based on his high transfer fee. Zlatan replied, ‘I don’t even earn
tivates – creates another strand to his psyche, one of half of that!’ He went straight upstairs to talk with technical director
r relevance to Manchester United. Revenge. Beenhakker. Five minutes later he came back downstairs and said:
any page of Ibrahimovic’s autobiography and the ‘In four years, I’ll be the best striker in the world.’”
drip with the desire to prove people wrong. That “I told him that the pitch was the only truth,” recalls Beenhakker now,
ality is what separates him from other supremely “and that if he did well, I would be the first person to contact him.
d but unmanageable talents, some of whom He understood it, and was fully motivated to show his qualities.”
w scissors at their team-mates. By the time Ibrahimovic joined Juventus in 2004, few in Amsterdam
I want people to forget me,” he said six games into were moved to shed a tear. Indeed, the club actively sought to sell him,
professional career in 1999, after Malmo had been after the striker clashed with club-mate Rafael van der Vaart in an
egated from the Swedish top flight. “Nobody should international game against the Netherlands. Post-match, the Dutch
ow I exist. Then when we’re back, I’ll strike down on midfielder told the press that Ibrahimovic had intentionally set out to
pitch like a bolt of lightning.” Promotion followed. hurt him. The pair had never got on, Zlatan being of the opinion that
Ajax youth-team players had too much dressing-room influence.
“There was a meeting in which everybody gave their opinion,”
recalls team manager Endt. “It was, more or less, Zlatan against

ERIC OR IBRA?
everyone else. He waited until last, then he stood up and said
to Rafael: ‘If you go to the press again, I’ll break both of your
legs and cut off your f**king head.’
“The dressing room respected him for doing that. He wouldn’t give
in easily, even if the whole world was against him. He would show
Pens out: guess which Manchester United striker is responsible for each quote his real character. It was a little awkward, yes, but it was also a great

1 2 3 4 5 6

“I’m not used to

“I prefer to play “I didn’t injure you “I’m proud of what
winning nothing – “A ball is like
and lose rather on purpose, and you I achieved there,
it’s the first time it’s a woman: she “I came like a hero,
than win, because know that. If you but a life built on
happened to me. loves to be left like a legend”
I know in advance accuse me again, memories is not
I’m disappointed. caressed”
I’m going to win” I’ll break your legs” much of a life”
It’s a failure”

… Cantona … Cantona … Cantona … Cantona … Cantona … Cantona

… Ibrahimovic … Ibrahimovic … Ibrahimovic … Ibrahimovic … Ibrahimovic … Ibrahimovic

38 November
February 2016
2016FourFourTwo.com
FourFourTwo.com

indication of Ibrahimovic’s mindset at the time. He will always
believe in himself and he will never, ever give in.”
Inspired in Turin to show Ajax what they were missing, Ibrahimovic
finished his first Juventus season as the club’s top scorer, with his goals
firing the Old Lady to the 2004-05 Serie A title. He hit the gym and
added muscle to his gangly physique. Ajax, meanwhile, finished second
in the Eredivisie, 10 points behind PSV. The previous year, with Ibra
their top scorer, Ajax had won the league by six points.
At Inter, Esteban Cambiasso got similar treatment to Van der Vaart.
“Ibrahimovic hates fake people,” former Nerazzurri team-mate Cesar
tells FFT. “He didn’t get along with Cambiasso very well because
Esteban was quite close to the board: he never defended the players
and would always remain on the directors’ side.
“One day, Cambiasso received a bad pass and complained about it.
Ibrahimovic lost his mind and said everything that had been building
up – he called him a suck-up and told him to be quiet and shut up. Our
coach, Mancini, had to get involved, but everyone was on Zlatan’s side.”
Yet Zlatan’s grudges aren’t always forever. Ibrahimovic and PSV
midfielder Mark van Bommel were constantly at each other’s throats
as the Eredivisie heavyweights battled it out for Dutch titles. Then came
a fiery international friendly between the Netherlands and Sweden.
“At half-time, when we were walking towards the dressing rooms,
Zlatan kicked a ball in my direction,” Van Bommel tells FFT. “He came
up to me and said I had to watch out. I thought to myself: ‘I shouldn’t
respond now, or we’ve got a problem.’” There was, however, always
respect. “A few months later,” Van Bommel continues, “when I left
Bayern Munich for Milan, I heard that CEO Adriano Galliani had asked
Zlatan about me. Despite everything, he said, ‘I’d rather play with
Van Bommel than against him.’
7 8 9 10
“We are looking
“When people are “I do not play
for an apartment;
talking about against a particular
if we do not find
you, it means team. I play against
anything, we will
that you exist” the fear of losing”
just buy a hotel.”
… Cantona … Cantona … Cantona
… Ibrahimovic … Ibrahimovic … Ibrahimovic
ZLATAn
“HE’S A PROUD GUY. WHEN SOMEOnE CUTS HIS
WInGS LIKE PEP DID, THE HURT STILL REMAInS”
“I sat next to him in the dressing room and he helped me with
several things, as I didn’t speak Italian when I arrived. He put me at
ease in my new surroundings.”
They are now firm friends; indeed, Ibrahimovic played in
Van Bommel’s testimonial match in 2013. The Dutchman even
named his Rhodesian ridgeback – a pedigree of dog that is bred to
kill lions in South Africa – after his former team-mate. “He’s quite
a strong and tough dog, so it fits nicely,” Van Bommel laughs. “He
has a good character, is very muscly and he has really good staying
power, too. We wanted to give the dog a special name, and we all
liked the name ‘Ibra’ a lot.”
On the other hand, some wounds will never heal. There is
a Pep Guardiola-shaped elephant in the room here. Zlatan joined
Barcelona in 2009 as the second-most expensive player in world
football, but lasted just a solitary season, with the two barely talking.
Those wounds reopened before last month’s Manchester derby,
as City’s new manager criticised United’s No.9 for using his
autobiography to settle some old scores.
“It was like being at school,” wrote Ibrahimovic in 2011. “Then
Lionel Messi started saying things. He joined Barça when he was 13.
He was brought up in that culture and doesn’t have a problem with that
school crap. He went to Pep and said: ‘I don’t want to be on the right
any more – I want to play in the centre.’ I ended up in the shadows.
They passed through Messi. I didn’t get to play my game.”
Despite scoring in his first five Barcelona matches, Ibrahimovic’s
individualistic approach proved anathema to Guardiola’s slow build,
which could afford total freedom to only one player. Pep chose Messi.
“This isn’t working,” Ibra eventually huffed. “It’s as if you bought
a Ferrari but you are driving it like a Fiat.”
This season, it’s inevitable that revenge will be at the forefront of
the player’s mind as United attempt to outdo City.
“Together with the fact that he’s reunited with Jose Mourinho, facing
Pep Guardiola will be a huge motivation for him,” says Endt, who
understands Ibrahimovic’s psychology like few others. “He’s a proud
guy and when someone cuts his wings like Guardiola did, he might
not talk about it all the time but deep in his heart that hurt remains.”
CAN ZLATAN BE THE NEW KING OF OLD TRAFFORD?
There is nothing that would give Zlatan Ibrahimovic greater pleasure
than getting revenge on his nemesis in the Premier League this season.
Over the summer, he had offers from MLS and China, as well as interest
declared by a number of European outfits. Nothing, however, could
stir the experienced striker’s fire quite like Manchester United,
especially with Guardiola working on the other side of the city.
11 12
“Only God knows... “I retaliate with “Become a legend?
You’re talking my body, not But I am one
to him now” with words” already…”
… Cantona … Cantona … Cantona
… Ibrahimovic … Ibrahimovic … Ibrahimovic
1 Zlatan 2 Cantona 3 Cantona 4 Zlatan 5 Zlatan 6 Cantona 7 Cantona 8 Zlatan 9 Cantona 10 Zlatan 11 Zlatan 12 Cantona
 ZLATAn

Right Two goals to Why the Premier League? To prove that his incredible strike rate of
sink Southampton nearly a goal every other game at PSG is symptomatic more of his
helped Ibra win over continued excellence than a French league that lacks quality. To prove
the Stretford End a point to an often-sceptical English football public, who needed
Ibrahimovic to score four goals – including a 30-yard overhead kick –
against England in November 2012 to be convinced that he’s actually
any good. To prove that he can win titles wherever he ends up. That
mentality is what Mancheter United, above all else, want to tap into.
“He trains as he plays,” says Gallstad, his former youth-team coach.
“He won’t go onto the United training ground to jog around and just
get it done. It’s always 100 per cent. When he left the Euros in June,
he didn’t go on holiday. He was intent on proving that United haven’t
bought s**t, but the best. It quickly showed.”
Four goals in his first four Premier League games for the Red Devils,
including a trademark volley in the Manchester derby, proved as much.
“I think United were panicking, looked at Zlatan and saw someone
who comes with an incredible title-winning record,” says David Endt.
“They’re looking for instant success and he can help. He’s still very fit.
I’m amazed at his physique, to keep that big frame in shape at 35.
“They have played the one card left to them. Even if it’s only for
one year, Zlatan gives fans and players hope.”
It’s exactly the same situation in which Manchester United
found themselves 24 years ago.
“There are definite parallels between Zlatan and Eric Cantona,” the
Frenchman’s former team-mate, Lee Sharpe, tells FFT. “Eric had this
arrogance. Us youngsters were in awe of him, to be honest. He spoke
way more English than he cared to let on – I once talked to him about
philosophy and psychology on a night out – but he played his role
very well because it made us all listen.
“Ibrahimovic is the same. He scores goals out of nothing, he scores
in tight matches, and he scores in big matches when it looks like it is
going to be nigh-on impossible to unlock a defence. He raises the level
of play and sets the example for the team.”
Much like Cantona and Alex Ferguson, Ibrahimovic’s relationship with
Red Devils manager Jose Mourinho will be vital if the Swede is to inspire
an anticipated title surge. Their one season at Inter in 2008-09
confirmed a genuine bromance between the two. It’s the Portuguese’s
presence at Old Trafford that convinced Zlatan.
At the beginning of this season, Mourinho announced: “When I told
him that I had won titles in England, Spain and Italy, and he hadn’t,
he thought: ‘Ah, I want to go there.’
“I give a lot of instruction in training. It’s difficult for me to do the
same in matches, so I need guys on the pitch to read the game and
understand what we want. Zlatan is going to be one of them.”
From Didier Drogba to Diego Costa at Chelsea, and now Zlatan
himself, Mourinho has almost always set up his teams behind a hulking
centre-forward capable of providing both power and finesse.
“He has great technique,” says Van Bommel. “He will give United a lot
with his attitude. He brings goals, but as a central striker he also offers
a lot of support to his team-mates, by receiving and holding up the ball.
On top of that, you can deploy him in many different systems. He can
also involve himself more in the game, by playing slightly deeper.”
If Ibrahimovic does drop back, it could spell danger for defences
exposed to his hold-up play in tandem with the fearless attacking
of English tyro Marcus Rashford.
“He can only learn from someone like Zlatan,” says Sharpe. “You need
these sorts of players. Eric wasn’t a verbal leader, whereas Bryan Robson
was, but Eric led by example – and I think Zlatan is exactly the same.”
Endt goes a step further: “Zlatan can be to Rashford what Marco van
Basten was to him. Because of his past, he can develop young players in
learning what football is all about. He’ll conduct that dressing room, and
not by shouting or swearing. He’s more intelligent than people think.”
Ibra, then, is the last of a dying breed of footballer: a larger-than-life
character and someone to follow into battle, who inspires those around
him through a mixture of self-aware egotism and an unflinching desire
to be the best footballer possible.
“Apart from his football qualities, his leadership and appearance
are just as valuable,” concludes Van Bommel. “When entering the field
of play, Ibrahimovic can be compared with a gladiator. He challenges
death and radiates immortality.”

MEn WHO CHAnGED THEIR CLUBS

It’s 24 years since one arrogant foreigner instilled a winning
mentality in a dressing room desperate for such confident leadership.
Eric Cantona turned Manchester United into a global powerhouse.
Now, his natural successor must return them to that summit.
Will Zlatan be as influential as this famous five? The King is dead. Long live Zlatan.

ALFREDO DI STEFAnO RUUD GULLIT JOHAn CRUYFF DIEGO MARADOnA FRAnZ BECKEnBAUER
Real Madrid Chelsea Barcelona Napoli Bayern Munich

Signed from Colombian club
Millonarios after a complicated
tug of war with Barcelona, the
Blond Arrow established Real
Madrid as the world’s greatest
club side, able to buy the finest
talent. He also opened the
floodgates for more South
American players to move
to Europe, something that
soon became commonplace.
Nearly 33 and past his best,
the dreadlocked Dutchman
was nevertheless the most
important signing in Chelsea’s
modern history as a statement
of the club’s intent to bring
glamour and glory back to the
Bridge. As player-manager, he
then won the Blues’ first major
trophy for 26 years and made
Gianfranco Zola his first signing.
According to the New York
Times, he did “more for the
spirit of Catalan people in 90
minutes than many politicians
in years of struggle” when he
inspired a 5-0 away win at
Real Madrid en route to Barça’s
long-awaited league title in ’74.
As a coach, his playing style
remains at the heart of the
club’s philosophy to this day.
“Buy three or four players and
sell the ones the crowd whistle
at.” Such was Diego’s influence
that his wish was president
Corrado Ferlaino’s command,
after Napoli struggled in the
Argentine’s first season. Napoli
won their first ever Serie A title
two years later, sticking two
fingers up at northern Italy’s
traditional footballing powers.
After rejecting boyhood idols
1860 Munich following an
altercation in a youth event,
the would-be Kaizer instead
took his ball to ‘modest’ Bayern,
securing promotion to the new
Bundesliga in his first season –
as a teenager – and the club’s
first German Cup in his second.
Dominance, both domestic
and European, duly followed.

40 November
February 2016
2016FourFourTwo.com
FourFourTwo.com
 ZLATAn

“WHEn EnTERInG THE FIE

PLAY, IBRA IS A GLADIAT
HE CHALLEnGES DEATH An
RADIATES IMMORTALITY”
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BIZARRE HISTORY OF
 LOan SPELLS

Jack Wilshere’s move

to Bournemouth and
the scrapping of the
6 OF THE BEST
Ivan Campo
Football League’s Real Madrid to
Bolton, 2002-03
‘emergency loan’ Even in a year that
saw Big Sam get his Trotters on
window have put the both Jay-Jay Okocha and Youri
Djorkaeff, persuading Champions
temporary deals firmly League-winner Campo to swap
Madrid for Bolton was some feat.
back in the spotlight. He loved the town – and last-day
Kevin Campbell
Trabzonspor to
Everton, 1999
Inspiring Emmanuel
Adebayor, perhaps, ex-Arsenal
striker Campbell impressed on
loan before reverting to type
upon receiving a full-time
contract. Nine goals in eight
games made him the Premier
Jermain Defoe
West Ham to
Bournemouth,
2000-01
Defoe’s Cherries loan was a young
player’s dream. The teen netted in
10 consecutive games to match
a post-war record, and those
third-tier exploits earned him an
immediate shot in the Premier

But how did it all start, league survival – so much that

and which brought
the most controversy?
Words Paul Brown, Rich Edwards, Huw Davies
“Who on Earth is A.H. Chequer?”
That was the question asked by spectators
when they saw this unfamiliar name on the
Wanderers team-sheet ahead of the very first
FA Cup Final, played between Wanderers and
Royal Engineers in March 1872.
In fact, ‘A.H. Chequer’ was a pseudonym
for Morton Betts, who usually played for
Harrow Chequers (hence ‘A Harrow Chequer’).
The Chequers had decided to pull out of the
tournament after the first round, but that
he stayed for another five years.
Thibaut Courtois
Chelsea to Atletico
Madrid, 2011-14
In 2013 Courtois
was, even at 21, among the
world’s best goalkeepers, having
just won La Liga’s Zamora trophy
for clean sheets. So Chelsea sent
him to Atletico for a third year. To
show how nonsensical that was,
Atleti won the Spanish title and
beat the Belgian’s paymasters –
who had a 40-year-old Mark
Schwarzer between the sticks –
in the Champions League semis.
League’s first ever on-loan Player
of the Month and saved Everton
from the drop. But after signing
permanently, he went on to score
36 league goals in five years.
Henrik Larsson
Helsingborg to
Man United, 2007
There’s a possibility
of hyperbole with the Larsson
love-in at Old Trafford; after all,
the veteran forward played only
13 games and scored only three
goals. However, the 35-year-old
had a significant impact on and
off the field in his 10-week spell
during Sweden’s close-season.
League with West Ham, where he
top-scored the following season.
Jimmy Glass
Swindon to
Carlisle, 1999
Until this season,
emergency loans were common
as muck – but not in 1999, when
Scarborough complained that
Carlisle acquired Glass between
windows (in fact, goalkeepers had
special dispensation). His famous
late goal doomed the Gulls and
saved the Cumbrians from a first
ever relegation into non-league.
A few years later, he retired and
Carlisle went down anyway. Oh.

WHAT’S I T LI KE T O B E
didn’t stop Betts playing in the final. And,
inevitably, he scored the game’s only goal.
The loaning of players was common during

ALWAYS FARM ED O U T ?
football’s early amateur days, although
– as the use of the pseudonym suggests – the
practice of borrowing ringers for big matches
was frowned upon as being rather unsporting.
More often than not, though, loans were
made out of necessity. If an away team
turned up a man or two short, perhaps due to
injuries or travel problems, they would borrow
some players from the home team in order to
make up the numbers. The loaning of players
didn’t really become an issue until football
JOn OBIKA x4 x2

turned professional, and players became
bound by contract to their parent clubs.
In 1885, Blackburn Rovers included three
players on loan – Great Lever captain Tot
Rostron, Preston forward Fred Dewhurst and
Accrington half-back George Haworth (or
Howarth, according to some sources) – for an
FA Cup quarter-final against West Bromwich
Albion. However, after a “secret meeting” in
Blackburn, the FA intervened to prevent the
loanees from taking part. Even without them,
Blackburn triumphed 2-0 and progressed to
the semi-final, then the final, where they
played Scottish trailblazers Queen’s Park.
Surprisingly, George Haworth (transparently
named as “George Haworth of Accrington”
How did you first feel about going on loan?
My first spell was at Yeovil and I really enjoyed
that. It wasn’t about picking a style of club
back then; it was about experiencing men’s
football and the mentality that comes with it.
It was great fun. You were put in a pressurised
situation and had to stand on your own two
feet. It’s a challenge to leave home and your
club but you adapt, learn how to cook and do
things that would otherwise be done for you.
What did you learn from your 11 loan spells?
You pick up things from every club. I was at
Charlton with Yann Kermorgant and then at
Brighton with Leonardo Ulloa, and I took a lot
of things away from the way they held up
the ball and linked the play. Those were things
that I needed to improve in my own game.
Did you feel a Spurs career getting further
away each time you were sent out on loan?
You always have a belief that you can play at
the top level and will get a chance, perhaps in
the FA Cup or Europa League. I knew I probably
wasn’t going to get a run of games, but I was
confident that I could make it. I just needed
something to click when I got the chance.
Was it an easy decision to finally leave Spurs?
I wanted to settle down so I think I was
ready. I was at a point in my life where I was
ready to move on, and Swindon fitted the bill.

FourFourTwo.com November 2016 45

 LOan SPELLS

SCRAPPInG THE EMERGEnCY LOAn WInDOW

GOOD
GOOD BAD? AnDREW HOWARD
WYCOMBE WAnDERERS
CHAIRMAn
“The reality is that a window-to-window
loan allows you to work with the player
a lot more, and that’s a really important
element of our long-term planning. Loans are obviously
a really important part of life in League Two, but for us it’s
absolutely critical that a proportion of our squad is made
up of players who are with us on a window-to-window
basis, rather than a short-term one.
“I can understand the nervousness of some clubs, but
picking up the phone and going for a quick-fix option isn’t
always the right thing to do. To get a window-to-window
loan you have to have proper relationships with the clubs
that the lads are coming in from. I think of some of the
players that Gareth [Ainsworth, the Wycombe boss] has
given debuts to in the last three years and it’s phenomenal.
“If you treat these players a little less like an instant fix
and more like a long-term investment, then it’s better for
the player, it’s better for the parent club and it’s better
for the club they’re playing for on loan.”
OR
As of this season,
Football League
clubs can no longer
make loan signings
outside the summer
and January transfer
windows. Two experts
debate whether it’s a
change for the better
BAD DAnIEL LOWEn
PA R T n E R A T L E A D I n G S P O R T S
LAW FIRM COUCHMAnS LLP
“This will have a big impact right the
way up the football ladder. It will clearly
disadvantage some of the less wealthy
clubs. The previous system was very flexible, as it allowed
short-term loans outside of the window, whereas now
a standard loan has to at least be for the period between
transfer windows. That’s a much greater commitment.
“From the Premier League clubs’ point of view, over the
years they’ve been happy to send their players out on loan
on an emergency basis, knowing that the players will get
first-team experience over a short-term period. Now, the
lower-league clubs will have to convince the top clubs that
they can train the player up to the standard required over
a longer period. That won’t be easy.
“Furthermore, Premier League clubs could traditionally
finalise their squads during windows in the knowledge
that young players could be sent out on loan a week later.
Now, the top clubs may be reluctant to let players leave on
half-season loans until their transfer business is all done.”

WHEn LOAnEES BITE BACK

Real Madrid were cruising to a semi-final
berth in the 2003-04 Champions League
when a familiar face slapped egg on
theirs. The Spanish side were 1-0 up
on the night and 5-2 up on aggregate
before their own player, Fernando
Morientes, helped Monaco to secure
a remarkable second-half comeback.
The loanee scored as Monaco won the
game 3-1 and the tie on away goals.
Fast-forward 12 years and it was
teenage sensation Kingsley Coman
running amok for Bayern Munich
against his own club, Juventus, to
knock the Old Lady out of Europe,
setting up Bayern’s second goal
and scoring the fourth in a 4-2 win.
English clubs have inserted clauses
preventing that from happening ever
since Lomana LuaLua’s 89th-minute
equaliser for Portsmouth in February
2004 thwarted parent club Newcastle.
In Europe, though, players are still free
to dish out bloody noses as they see fit.
Most famously, goalkeeper Thibaut
Courtois helped Atletico Madrid to
eliminate parent club Chelsea in the
2013-14 Champions League semi-finals,
but it’s still happening now. Just last
month, Anderson Talisca’s sensational
stoppage-time free-kick for Besiktas
cost his employers, Benfica, two points
in the group stage. He probably won’t
be expecting a ‘welcome home’ party.

46 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com

 LOan SPELLS

GAMInG
in newspaper match previews) was allowed to The global loan system – described as “football’s
play for Rovers in the final, and he helped his Wild West” by The Guardian’s Owen Gibson – is
adopted team to another 2-0 win. Rovers open to an element of interpretation. Just ask
were accused of having “sacrificed any pride” Simone Verdi, co-owned by Milan and Torino for

THE SYSTEM
by “begging permission” of the FA to field
Haworth. But, as one newspaper pointed out,
opponents Queen’s Park were no strangers to
borrowing players and were able to call up
“all the good players in Scotland”. So Rovers
had only done what they had to do “in order
to vanquish their formidable opponents”.
Leading sports paper Athletic News was
heavily critical of the loaning of players for
cup ties, calling it an “objectionable and unfair
proceeding”. Borrowing players didn’t just give
teams an unfair advantage, the paper said,
but also created “unhealthy competition” for
the services of the best players, increasing the
“evil of professionalism”. Clubs were often
making disruptive approaches for players, and
players were becoming mercenaries, turning
out for whichever clubs paid the most.
After the Football League was formed, and
expanded to add a second and third division,
teams began to borrow players ahead of
potentially lucrative “test matches” – the
original relegation and promotion play-offs.
“When will something be done to check the
wholesale system of borrowing players to
help a club to escape or pull through the
test fixtures?” asked one football journalist
in 1898. This followed Manchester City’s
borrowing of England full-back Tommy
four years but finding himself at Empoli for two of
them. He was sold in a blind auction (obviously)
after co-ownership in Italy was outlawed.
Then there’s Allan Nyom. The West Bromwich
Albion full-back was signed by Udinese in 2009
and spent six years with the club, without playing
or even training with them. He told FFT he’d been
Loans can be a force for good, to Italy only once – for his medical. Instead, Nyom
spent six seasons on loan at Granada (below left),
but some clubs have exploited signing a new contract ‘with Udinese’ in 2013,
loopholes in curious fashion... before joining their other sister club, Watford,
in 2015. It puts Juventus’ new three-year loan
deal for Chelsea’s Juan Cuadrado into perspective.
Ah, Chelsea – the masters of loan skulduggery. They were once
accused of buying players just to pack them off on loan to the top
flight’s lesser lights and dull their rivals’ title chances. For example,
the Blues brought in Russian midfielder Alexey Smertin from
Bordeaux at the start of the 2003-04 season and promptly sent
him packing for Portsmouth. Then, once he’d helped Pompey draw
at Arsenal and beat Manchester United, Chelsea brought him back
to the Bridge and, a year later, tried the same trick with Charlton.
But this all pales in comparison to Parma, who at one stage
in 2013 had as many as 226 – two hundred and twenty-six! –
players on their books, with 24 of them at a single club in Slovenia.
This was despite Parma barely having two Euros to rub together.
Indeed, the club went bust in 2015. It really is the Wild West.

Clare from Burslem Port Vale for a crucial
end-of-season game at Newcastle. City
actually lost the game, and missed out on
the test matches, but the whole affair was
regarded as “nothing short of a scandal”.
At a meeting in April 1898, the FA banned
“the loaning and borrowing of players for
special matches”. Not all clubs heeded the
ban. In 1901, Middlesbrough and Glossop
were reprimanded following the loan transfer
of goalkeeper James Saunders to Boro, and
Preston were fined £5 for signing John Wilkie
on loan from Partick Thistle. In the ensuing
commotion, it was reiterated that such loans
were not allowed under FA and Football
League rules, and that any club that was
party to them would be “severely dealt with”.
Loans returned during the Second World
War, when Football League competition
was suspended and replaced by a regional
Wartime League. Many footballers joined the
armed forces and it was difficult for clubs to
raise teams from their significantly reduced
pools of players, so a ‘guest player’ system
was introduced, which allowed clubs to loan
players on a match-by-match basis.
This led to some of football’s biggest stars
making unlikely appearances for rival clubs.
Stan Mortensen of Blackpool guested for
Arsenal, Eddie Hapgood of Arsenal guested
for Chelsea, and Stan Cullis of Wolves guested
for Liverpool, while another notable Liverpool
loanee was Preston’s Bill Shankly. The future
Reds manager made a guest appearance as
a Liverpool player in a 1942 win over Everton.
6 OF THE WORST
Julien Faubert
West Ham to
Real Madrid, 2009
The lasting image
from Faubert’s spell in Spain is
Madrid legend Alfredo Di Stefano
looking baffled while unveiling
him. The Frenchman missed
a training session because he
thought he had the day off, and
was accused of falling asleep on
the bench. He denied it, but few
players find that they have to.
Facundo
Ferreyra
Shakhtar Donetsk to
Newcastle, 2014-15
You may well ask, “Who?” – most
Newcastle fans still do. Ferreyra
played precisely nil minutes in
his one season on Tyneside and
confessed he wasn’t ready for the
Premier League. No kidding: there
were rumours that team-mates in
his first training session mistook
him for a competition winner.
Andy Booth
Sheffield Wednesday
to Tottenham, 2001
Allow David Pleat,
then Spurs’ director of football, to
explain: “We can only loan from
the Football League or Scotland
and usually it’s someone surplus
to requirements. We decided to
go for Andy Booth.” Two months,
four games and no goals later,
the striker was back in tier two,
being relegated with Huddersfield.
Nicklas Bendtner
Arsenal to Juventus,
2012-13
Juventus sold zero
Bendtner shirts in six months.
Was that any surprise? The move
wrongfooted everyone – and yet
it wasn’t Juventus’ only bonkers
business in 2012-13. They signed
Paul Pogba, sure, but also bagged
Bendtner, a decrepit Lucio and
a disinterested Nicolas Anelka.
The Old Lady must’ve gone senile.
Jermaine Jenas
Tottenham to
Aston Villa, 2011
It was hardly his
fault, of course, but an Achilles
injury sent Jenas back to Spurs
for recovery in December and left
Villa with the bill: £1.3m in wages
to be paid across the season, for
108 minutes of football (around
£12,000 per minute, then). Their
pleas to Daniel Levy were met
with the response, “No backsies.”
Kim Kallstrom
Spartak Moscow to
Arsenal, 2014
Arsene Wenger
desperately needed a striker. He
signed an already-injured holding
midfielder. Kallstrom wasn’t bad
in the four appearances he did
make, but it says plenty that he
later admitted Wenger “sighed
and said, ‘The transfer window
shuts in a few hours – either
I take you, or no one.’” Lovely.

FourFourTwo.com November 2016 47

 38

lsea
LOan SPELLS

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of academy talent, you need to
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48 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com

 LOan SPELLS

The best players were very much in demand

during wartime, and some played for different
clubs within the same week, or even on the
same day. On Christmas Day, 1940, future
England international Len Shackleton played
for Bradford Park Avenue during the morning
and then for Bradford City in the afternoon,
finding the net in both matches.
One of the most high-profile wartime
loanees was Stoke City’s Stanley Matthews,
regarded as “England’s number one football
personality”. Matthews joined the RAF and
was based near Blackpool, making more
than 80 guest outings for the Seasiders and
later joining the club on a permanent basis.
The England wideman also played some
wartime games for Manchester United and
Arsenal, and even made an international
guest appearance for Scotland.
Several professional players were based
at the Aldershot Garrison army training
camp, which was fantastic news for the
original Aldershot FC. The lowly third-division
outfit were able to call up England senior
internationals Stan Cullis, Joe Mercer, Cliff
Britton, Tommy Lawton and Frank Swift,
plus Scotland’s Matt Busby, to create what
must surely be the most formidable team
of loanees ever assembled.
After the war, as football got back on its feet
and clubs rebuilt their sides, the guest player
system was phased out, and loans were
pretty much off the table once more. They
were only properly sanctioned following the
end of football’s ‘retain and transfer’ system,
6 Ricardo
YOU FORGOT HAPPEnED
Quaresma
Inter to Chelsea, 2009
Dubbed the ‘Golden
Bin’ of Serie A in 2008, future
European Championship winner
Quaresma was sent to Chelsea
by Jose Mourinho, who clearly
fancied a joke at his previous
employers’ expense. The Portugal
winger made five appearances
in all competitions, four of them
as a sub, in a spell that even he
probably doesn’t remember.
Dean Saunders
Swansea to
Cardiff, 1985
Saunders crossed
a line that few other players
have, and we don’t mean by
embellishing stories about Brian
Clough’s drinking. In 1985, the
forward headed down the M4
and failed to score in four games
for his club’s bitter rivals. That’s
some top sabotage by Swansea.
Kasper
Schmeichel
Manchester City to
Falkirk, 2007
Long before he was a Premier
League-winner, the second-most
famous Schmeichel was ferried
out to Falkirk for shot-stopping
practice. A well-trodden path it
ain’t – and yet Newcastle’s future
Dutch international goalkeeper
Tim Krul would make the same
move the following season.
Mark Hughes
Barcelona to Bayern
Munich, 1987-88
Sparky’s CV in the
’80s read: Manchester United,
Barcelona, Bayern Munich and
Manchester United. Not bad. At
Terry Venables’ Barça, however,
he was outshone by Gary Lineker
and sent to Bayern. They got their
money’s worth, rushing him from
a Wales qualifier in Prague to play
in the German Cup that evening.
Tyrone Mears
Derby to Marseille,
2008-09
Derby’s miserable
11-point Premier League season
must have seemed a world away
for Mears as he netted the goal
that sent Marseille into the UEFA
Cup last eight. A few months later
he was back at second-tier Derby,
who hadn’t actually given him
permission to leave. Awkward…
Paul Konchesky
Charlton to
Tottenham, 2003
Six months after
making his first England outing,
a young Konchesky rocked up at
Spurs and might well have stayed
there, had Glenn Hoddle’s exit
not scuppered things. He’s since
navigated his way into the Essex
pie and mash business with his
‘Konch’s Kafe’, via playing spells
with Fulham, Liverpool, Leicester,
QPR and Gillingham. As you do.

LEAGUE TWO VS
which was scrapped in 1963, leading to
a loosening of some of the restrictions
surrounding players’ contracts, and also to How does being on loan compare to

PREMIER LEAGUE 2
the abolition of the maximum wage cap.
Then, in 1966, the Football League made
what newspapers called a “most startling
proposal” to allow the “temporary transfer
of players” – with certain restrictions. Each
club could make only two loan transfers Liam Shepherd, on loan at
per season, and transfer fees could not be
paid. Loans had to last for at least three
Yeovil from Swansea City,
months, and they could only be made
between clubs in different divisions.
The rules surrounding loan transfers would
be changed over subsequent years, notably
in 1995 after the Bosman ruling – which
shook up the entire transfer system – and
then in 2003 with the lifting of the restriction
on loans having to be made between clubs in
different divisions. There were also temporary
bans, such as in 1980, when loan transfers of
players other than goalkeepers was outlawed.
But the 1966 proposal effectively put into
place the loan system as we know it today.
In 1967, Torquay United signed 19-year-old
winger John Docker on loan from Coventry
City. Docker scored twice on his Torquay debut,
a 3-0 win over local rivals Exeter, but played
only three more games during his loan and
never played at all for Coventry. So while he
hardly had an illustrious career, Docker can
perhaps be remembered as the first signing
under the new loan transfer system.
playing Under-23 football?
You don’t get the passion when
you’re playing for the Under-23s.
I’m here to make sure Yeovil stay in
the Football League, because if they
get relegated, players and staff could
lose their jobs. These are guys th
have families to look after and s
compares the fourth tier there’s a huge amount riding on
this season. To be in that kind
to reserve-team football
of high pressure environment
is a massive plus for my game.
What’s it like going from a Premier League club to League Two?
I had every say in where I was going to go out on loan. This is my third
time at Yeovil and every time I’ve been welcomed like I’m one of the
club’s own players. I’m a believer that hard work gets you to where you
want to be in life. It’s not easy at the moment, but you probably learn
more from a spell at a struggling club than you do at one that’s flying.
How invaluable have your loan spells been?
You just want to be playing competitive football in matches that mean
a lot to everyone involved, not just the players but also the supporters.
Under-23s football is a massive step down. Getting experience here in
the Football League will improve me as a player and as a person, too.
How closely do Swansea follow your progress?
They’re in regular contact with the Yeovil manager, Darren Way. A few
people have come to watch us play, but there’s not been that much
contact. At the end of the day, I’m trying to better myself as a player.

FourFourTwo.com November 2016 49

KAZIM-RICHARDS
 KAZIM-RICHARDS

COLIn
Most footballers born in England
end up nowhere more exotic than
Torquay, but the 30-year-old has
played in seven different countries
in the past six and a half years –

KaZIM -RICHARDS.
and boy, does he have a few tales

In BRAZIL.
WHAT THE...?!
Words Joe Brewin

P
opular conjecture will have you believe that it all started with
a bottle of pop. When Brighton fan Aaron Berry landed his club
£250,000 to ‘win a player’ with Coca-Cola in 2005, the Seagulls
used it to buy an 18-year-old from Bury by the name of Colin
Kazim-Richards. And so it was that The Coca-Cola Kid was born.
However, that’s not even close to telling the story of Kazim-Richards.
In the grand scheme of things, it’s barely a footnote in his life so far.
“I’m not The Coca-Cola Kid – I’m Colin Kazim-Richards,” the man
himself declares, adding: “I don’t like that, because it’s all people say.”
He’s talking to FFT from his new home in Curitiba, Brazil – the latest stop
on an unpredictable journey that has taken him from east London to
international recognition, with plenty of calling points in between.
In a way, the unwanted nametag is indicative of his subsequent career
outside of England: it’s a fragmented flashpoint that makes for a cheap
headline. Kazim-Richards is distrustful of the media, having been burned
before (“In Turkey they have no boundaries or laws,” he grimaces). He
finally lost his cool with one particularly troublesome Dutch journalist,
who the forward said had been “trying to make problems” between
the 37-cap Turkey international and Michiel Kramer, a rival for a spot
in Feyenoord’s first team. That episode helped to bring a premature
end to his time in the Netherlands in February this year.
He has a reputation for being involved in the odd misdemeanour but it’s
sometimes with provocation, even when he joined Bury as a youngster.

FourFourTwo.com November 2016 51

 KAZIM-RICHARDS

“I was up there on my own,” Kazim-Richards

explains, “and funnily enough, I didn’t like
people putting bananas on my clothes. That
was the joke at the time. I would complain,
and then it would turn into fights; once, twice
I would complain, but the third time I was
just going to start something. I was getting
bananas squashed in my clothes and hung on
my peg every single day for about four weeks.”
There are two sides to every story – and as
FFT discovers, Kazim-Richards has plenty of
stories. His latest exciting chapter is taking
place in Brazil at Coritiba, after eight whirlwind
years in Turkey (Fenerbahce, Galatasaray,
Bursaspor) were interspersed with spells in
France (Toulouse), Greece (Olympiacos) and
the Netherlands (Feyenoord), followed by
a four-month stint at Celtic. Four months into
his Brazilian adventure, it’s so far, so good.
“It’s an adventure, another new experience,
and already one of the best footballing and

“ I WEnT TO BUY A DOG AnD

life decisions I’ve ever made,” he tells FFT. “In
Brazil they judge players on their footballing
ability first. I think we have a problem with
that in the UK. Ever since I was young, my life
has been about playing football, so to come
here and be able to do that is very liberating.”
Leyton is very important to Kazim-Richards.
It’s where it all began, on the streets that were
his early training ground. But things could’ve
turned out very differently. While his parents
and football helped to give him a focus away
from trouble, others never had that chance.
Over the past two years he has sunk more
than £100,000 into his own local football
academy (“We just beat the North London
Academy 9-0,” he says with a grin), in the
hope of giving kids whose families can’t afford
expensive subscription fees a chance to play.
“You see a lot of mixed-raced kids now, but
back then it wasn’t the norm,” he says. “I was
born in the ’80s. My dad was 18; my mum, 17.
My dad was black-Caribbean and my mum
was Turkish-Muslim. My dad grew up fighting
skinheads. He can tell stories about having to
fight six or seven of them in a pub because he
was with my mum, which wasn’t accepted.
“That stuff got instilled into me: be happy
with who you are and remember where you’re
from. I wouldn’t have it any other way because
it put things in me that can’t be taught unless
you grow up in a place like that. If I didn’t have
my parents’ backing, it’d be easy for the streets
to win. My friend just got out of jail after eight
years. My other friend is in there for life.”
While Kazim-Richards is eternally grateful
for his parents’ support, nothing could shelter
him from several harrowing experiences in
his life before he left E17 for Bury at the age
of 15. When he was three, he lost his infant
brother, Rodney, to Edwards’ syndrome – “the
first memory I have from when I was young…
some things just never go away”. Staggeringly,
three of his cousins were later snatched from
him, in tragic – and unlinked – circumstances.
“They were my best friends,” Kazim-Richards
recalls. “My birthday is August 26; two of their
birthdays were on September 4 and 7. So we
were in different [school] years despite being
born only two weeks apart – but we were still
with each other every single day.
“One died from a heart attack while playing
football. Another had a brain haemorrhage in
the bath. My other cousin – Andros Townsend’s
brother, Kurtis – died in a car crash. He would
have become a footballer, too, believe me.“
When you’ve been through things like what
Kazim-Richards has, becoming the first player
to transfer directly between Fenerbahce and
Galatasaray – “For a while I was hated by
both sets,” he says – doesn’t seem so scary.
It may be winter in Brazil but life is cosy in
sunny Curitiba. Kazim-Richards lives there
with his Brazilian wife, Mariana, and their two
kids. No.3 is on the way. And on his Coritiba
debut, he scored the winner against their
arch rivals, Atletico Paranaense.
Despite hamstring troubles, Kazim-Richards
is relishing life in a country he has longed to
play in. He already speaks Portuguese – oddly,
from his time in Turkey. Fenerbahce club-mate
Alex de Souza, a Coritiba legend who retired
there in 2014, was key in his June transfer.
THE GUY SAID, ‘KAZIM KAZIM,
I HAVE SOMETHInG FOR YOU.’
HE TRIED TO SELL ME A LIOn”
“I’m the kind of person who wants to get
the full experience when they go somewhere,”
says the trilingual Kazim-Richards, who can
also speak Turkish. “I didn’t have a passport
until I was 18, you know? Then I moved to
Fenerbahce at a time when the club was
managed by Zico and they had Roberto
Carlos, Deivid, Edu Dracena, Alex – all these
Brazilians. Seeing the way they trained, and
what they were doing with the ball, I just said,
‘Yeah, I want me some of that.’ I had to learn
some of the language to do it.
“We lived in the same complex so we were
always at each other’s houses, and I just
picked up the language as I went along.
You start with the essentials. When I met
my missus it stepped up to another level,
and now I’m really trying to learn a lot
more. I would say that my Portuguese is
probably at about 60 per cent.
“The grammar is very hard, with masculine
and feminine, so I don’t really bother with any
of that. Sometimes I use shortcuts and people
laugh, but they’re also sympathetic because
they appreciate the effort.

BURY TO 2004-05 2005-06 2006-07 2007-11 2010 2011-13

BRAZIL AnD
EVERYWHERE
In BETWEEn
Bury Brighton Sheffield United Fenerbahce Toulouse (loan) Galatasaray
England England England Turkey France Turkey

52 November
February 2016
2016FourFourTwo.com
FourFourTwo.com

“Before I went to Celtic there was interest
[from Brazil], but it didn’t materialise. Then
Celtic came up, and you can’t really turn
them down. I’ve seen some people suggest
that Brendan Rodgers said he didn’t want
me [this summer], but it wasn’t like that. My
heart was set on coming here, and that’s no
disrespect to Celtic at all because I support
them. In the end I had quite a few options
in Brazil, and Coritiba called Alex to get
a reference on me. He doesn’t mince his
words. That’s why a lot of people like him,
and why we get along.”
Away from the pitch, Kazim-Richards has
experienced things in Brazil that probably
wouldn’t ever happen to a player in the
English league system.
“I went to buy a dog,” he says, “and the guy
said, ‘Kazim Kazim, I have something for you’.
So I went in the back and he had lions, tigers
and chimpanzees there. He wanted €22,000
for a lion! I was never going to buy one, but
I thought I should jokingly say, ‘Yeah, I’ll have
a lion.’ It was crazy.”
Kazim-Richards collected an assortment of
influential friends who have helped him along
the way. He still regularly chats to his former
Galatasaray chum Didier Drogba, for example,
who became more than just a team-mate.
“He’s someone who made me stay out
Clockwise from top in training,” reveals Kazim-Richards. “This is
left Whether it’s with Drogba: he’d be there for an hour, practising
Olympiacos, Brighton, his shooting. When I left Gala for the final
Fener, Feyenoord or time, to Bursaspor, he was the one who told
Celtic, Kazim-Richards me to stay, but I said, ‘No, no, no’ and made
says he is “searching the wrong decision… again. Even when I was
for happiness” at Bursaspor he’d FaceTime me and watch my
games. Not to be corny, but he’s a super guy.”
While Drogba winds down the clock in MLS
with Montreal Impact, Kazim-Richards still
has time on his side. That’s especially true
in his new surroundings, where life moves
at a very different pace.
“I’ve been searching for happiness like this,”
he confides in FFT. “I have found it on many
occasions when playing outside of the UK.
Football is ultimately something I love doing,
but at the same time it’s a job as well. It feeds
my family. Most footballers don’t like to admit
it, but that’s how it is.
“My work is something I love, and I fell back
in love with it all over again when I went to
Holland – and especially now I’ve come here.
For me, it’s something that’s got me out of
a situation that all my family were in. It’s
given a certain life to me, my kids, my dad
and my brother. I’ve travelled the world.
2012 2012-13 2013-15 2014-15 2015-16
Olympiacos (loan) Blackburn (loan) Bursaspor Feyenoord (loan) Feyenoord
Greece England Turkey Netherlands Netherlands
KAZIM-RICHARDS
But at the same time I’m a winner, and
football gives me that place to go out and
win. That’s what it means to me.”
Coritiba are Kazim-Richards’ 12th club,
and his eighth away from England. Since
leaving Sheffield United for Fenerbahce
in 2007, he has returned to the nation of
his birth only once for football, taking part
in a difficult 2012-13 season on loan at
Blackburn in which Rovers went through
three permanent managers and finished
17th in the Championship. So there’s no
desire to return anytime soon.
Brazil is his fourth destination since leaving
Galatasaray permanently in 2013, but the
30-year-old seems more at home than ever
before. So what’s the secret of settling quickly
in new surroundings? And why on Earth does
he move around so much?
“I don’t really have a comfort zone, and that
helps,” Kazim-Richards admits. “I’m not a shy
person and I’ll always try to communicate with
someone whether they talk Arabic, Serbian or
whatever. I’ll try to get my point across. I’m
a joker, but when it’s game time I’m serious,
and I understand that not everyone is like me;
they have comfort zones.
“I have done it so many times that it just
becomes the norm. To be honest, I don’t go
back to England much. All my family is there
but I fly them out to see me. My mum is here
now, and my dad went back five days ago.
My brother will come out here in December.
“Sometimes I go back to England and get
caught up in stuff that I shouldn’t – not things
I’m doing myself, but stuff that’s going on
with people I know. In Brazil you play from
February to December, and in between then
I’ve got that time to spend with my family.
They are my priority, and they come first.”
A return to the UK isn’t likely, then, but
what comes next is anyone’s guess. Even
he doesn’t have a notion.
“I don’t know where I’ll end my career,” he
confesses. “Right now, I just want to win the
Copa Sudamericana with Coritiba. That would
be the pinnacle of my career, and I’ve played
in a European Championship semi-final.
“I just want to keep showing people from
places like where I’m from that they can do
anything. It sounds clichéd, but look at me
now. I was born in Leytonstone, raised in
Leyton and Walthamstow, and now I’m
playing football in Brazil. It’s incredible.
“While I’m here, there are things I want to
do. You can’t just come to a place, earn their
money and leave. That’s not cool. I want to
give something back and try to help people.”
2016 2016-
Celtic Coritiba
Scotland Brazil
FourFourTwo.com November 2016 53
 THE BUCKET LIST

THE
BUCKET
LIS 53 THINGS EVERY FAN
SHOULD DO BEFORE THEY DIE
Words Nick Moore, Louis Massarella, Paul Simpson, Marcus Alves, Martin Mazur, Kristan Heneage, Joe Crann, Richard Edwards, Paul Watson, Andy Brassell, Alex Holiga

Do you think of yourself as a globe-trotting superfan? See if you can tick off every suggestion in our bucket list for
football supporters – and if you can’t, read our tips and start planning your trips, from Tokyo to Hackney Marshes

54 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com

 1
THE BUCKET LIST

Play football on top of

a skyscraper in Tokyo

Why: The Adidas Futsal Park is a uniquely

Japanese answer to finding somewhere for
a kickabout in the world’s most populous city.
Having opened ahead of the 2002 World Cup,
it’s still popular among those who favour the
small-sided game, or just like a good view. The
270-degree panorama, 10 storeys above one
of Tokyo’s busiest stations, Shibuya, makes it
one pitch where taking your eye off the ball is
actively encouraged. Tip: bring spare balls.
How: Get organised. It’s popular, so nabbing
a booking isn’t easy, particularly as it can’t be
done online and there’s no English-language
website offering a phone number. Enlist the
help of a local, and be ready to pay top dollar.
Local knowledge: Can’t get a booking? There
are spectator areas, and Mark City Shopping
Centre’s top floor has the best matchday view.
Cost: Peak rates are 20,000 Yen (around
£150) for 90 minutes – not cheap, but still
only £15 each for a long game of five-a-side.
 THE BUCKET LIST

02 Go to the
World Cup final
Why: Some might contend that the
Champions League final is of better
quality, or that watching club football is
a purer high, and a deluded case could
even be put forward to argue that the
Super Bowl or the Olympic 100m final
is the biggest in size, but we’re having
none of it. The World Cup final, for fans
and players alike, is the most-watched,
most-revered, most-tweeted, biggest,
03 Sample the wine
from Andres
Iniesta’s vineyard
Why: Some might ask: “Why would you
want to make an incredibly rich man
even richer by buying his wares?” We’d
reply: “Stop being a killjoy and have
some midfield-genius booze already.”
Besides, one of the great things about
vineyards is that you can go along and
have a glug with no obligation to buy
anything. The tasting tour at Bodega

bestest sporting event on Earth, and
should the opportunity ever arise, we’d
advise selling a kidney to be there.
How: What were we saying about that
kidney? You can pay $5,850 right now
to secure an official FIFA ‘Final Round’
package, which guarantees entry to the
endgame and one semi. Beyond that,
though, ensuring yourself a ticket is
nigh-on impossible unless you’re the
CEO of a well-positioned sponsor. It’s
a lottery – quite literally, in most cases.
FIFA’s allocation is divided among
Iniesta comes highly recommended,
as does the tapas restaurant. This isn’t
just a pet project for the Barcelona
great, either. “My family has always
dreamed of owning a bodega,” he has
said. “It’s a way of giving back to the
place I was born. You don’t pay for the
name – you pay for the wine.” Next:
Xavi goes into cheesemaking.
How: The 100-acre site is located at
Fuentealbilla, Albacete, and produces
Bobal, Macabeo, Sauvignon Blanc and
Chardonnay. It’s open daily from 9am
04
See a Superclasico
The Buenos Aires biggie was
ranked No.1 in FFT’s 2014 rundown of
the world’s best derbies, and getting
tickets is reassuringly tricky – especially
at Boca’s Bombonera, where there are
more season ticket holders than seats.
An established tour or package is your
best bet and worth the extra outlay,
while Copa Libertadores clashes aren’t
always covered by season tickets and
are less likely to see away fans banned.

05
member countries according to their to 2pm, then 4pm to 6pm (this is Spain,
registered participants, and most after all). Call +34 967 09 06 50 or email Tuck into a pie
choose to ration them out using enoturismo@bodegainiesta.com. at Morecambe
a vastly oversubscribed and highly Local knowledge: While in Albacete, With their menu including a four-time
frustrating online application process. check out the stunning Football category winner (chicken and
Local knowledge: Monitor federations’ architecture around leek) and three-time Dessert champion
websites and www.fifa.com/tickets for the Pasaje de Lodares (apple, sultana and cinnamon) at the
information on ticket releases. Joining and the Catedral de British Pie Awards, Morecambe are the
a national supporters’ organisation can San Juan Bautista UK’s premier purveyors of pastry-cased
pies were once sold at
g fans in west London
n coastal Lancashire.

6 Educate
yourself
the CR7
useum
th flights to Funchal in
deira available from
wick, Glasgow and
ywhere in between,
rthplace of Cristiano
is within easy reach
weekend. The altar
ned by his brother
ntly expanded, and
ristiano’s Ballon d’Or
other memorabilia.
t’s closed on Sundays.

end an
up match
vember
esn’t matter any more?
pporters who attended
eason’s competition
onths ago. Yes, the
are well underway
gs the last of them,
ound Proper begins in
ootball League teams
Go now and you’ll get
nner and a chance to
of an historic cup run.

08
Sample Europe’s
biggest rivalry
Tickets for the world’s most high-profile
football match, the titanic showdown
between Barcelona and Real Madrid,
have now “reached Super Bowl
prices” according to one report.
But the NFL-esque salaries
of Messi, Ronaldo and
chums won’t pay for
themselves. A travel
package (flights, hotel,
tickets) offers the best
guarantee of a seat,
and although it won’t be
cheap, it’ll be hundreds
rather than thousands.
Go on, treat yourself – just
think of all the boasting you
can do when you return...
09
Start a chant and
watch everyone
around you join in
Jack White said the terrace ubiquity of
Seven Nation Army is “the greatest thing
that could happen as a songwriter”. The
rock star experience doesn’t come easy,
but all chants start somewhere. Hearing
hundreds or thousands sing your words
is an extraordinary feeling, so have a go
in non-league and see what happens.
10 Witness the
Intercontinental
Derby live in Istanbul
Terrorism, violence and civil war among
Turkey’s clubs, fans and the authorities
make this trans-continental tear-up
between Galatasaray and Fenerbahce
one of football’s most complex derbies.
Beneath that, though, is a colourful,
historic and utterly mad rivalry in one
of the world’s most alluring cities.
To buy tickets, you’ll
need to get one of
these cards, and
www.passolig.com.tr
is the place to get it.
11 Become a
club owner
Why: Megabucks flooding into football
has unfortunately led to all manner of
borderline and actual criminals trying
to get rich quick, with often-disastrous
results. Supporters’ trusts and fan
ownership schemes are a wonderful
way to take the power back. “Investing
a few quid gave me a deeper passion
for the side,” says Wrexham fan Robbie
Jones. “It’s gratifying being involved –
and we can’t moan if things go wrong.”
How: Portsmouth (pompeytrust.com),
Wrexham (wst.org.uk), Exeter City
(ecfcst.org.uk), AFC Wimbledon
(thedonstrust.org) and FC United of
Manchester (fc-utd.co.uk) all have
a degree of fan ownership. For those
after a more exotic investment, SV
Austria Salzburg (set up after Red Bull’s
involvement in the original club) and
protest side Spartak Varna in Bulgaria
provide some interesting alternatives.
Local knowledge: Buying a stake
in a trust entitles you to a vote on
numerous matters, and also the
opportunity to stand for a position
at a club or on the board (it’s usually
unpaid, mind). If Football Manager isn’t
cutting it for you any more, why not
immerse yourself in the real thing?
Cost: As little as £5 a year.
Sing yourself hoarse in
Dortmund’s Yellow Wall
Why: Cheap beer, cheap grub and cheap
tickets – the Bundesliga’s reputation for
fans-first football is very much deserved.
Nowhere is this more evident than at
Borussia Dortmund’s Westfalenstadion,
which sells out its 80,000 capacity for
every home league match. Nearly 25,000
of them pack into the famous Sudtribune,
where you can enjoy safe standing for
peanuts, decibel-defying yet aggro-free.
No wonder some 1,000 British supporters
make the trip out every other weekend.
How: While the waiting list for the club’s
50,000 season ticket places lasts years,
you can buy match tickets individually or
as part of a travel package via the club’s
website, complete with an excellent
English-language version. Don’t expect
to stand in the Yellow Wall when Schalke
or Bayern Munich are in town, though,
and come with an open mind if you’re
of an anti-Liverpool leaning: one of the
club anthems is You’ll Never Walk Alone.
Local knowledge: The stadium is served
well by public transport, but take the
40-minute stroll from the city centre –
as FFT did last time we were in Dortmund
– and you can take in the other thing this
place is famous for: beer. There are many
fine BVB-themed boozers along the way.
Cost: €16.70.
 THE BUCKET LIST
1
Make Diego your
middle name at the
church of Maradona
Why: Either blasphemous or just plain
barmy, Iglesia Maradoniana was set
up in 1998 by two friends and now
has 200,000 members and counting.
But why stop there? Pay homage to
Argentina’s (and Scotland’s) unholy
spirit by getting married, baptised or,
yes, renamed at his altar. Be warned,
though: this is no half-arsed religion.
The Church of Maradona has its own
epoch (Maradona’s date of birth),
version of the Lord’s Prayer and an
alternative to the 10 Commandments,
and to prove your allegiance to this
particular footballing deity, you must
re-enact the Hand of God in front of
other members of the congregation.
Just imagine you’re outjumping Peter
Shilton’s perm at the Azteca Stadium.
How: “Any Maradona fan is welcome
to this Church,” explained co-founder
Hernan Amez. “We invite them to our
Facebook page. And in the name of
the Tota [Maradona’s mother] and
of Mr Diego [his father] and the fruit
of their love [take a wild guess], the
soccer god blesses you all.” Obviously.
Local knowledge: Well, here’s the
thing. While the Church of Maradona
was born in Argentina’s third largest
city, Rosario, and also has a base in
Diego’s other spiritual home, Naples,
there is no church per se. So after you
have become a member, the church
will travel to any part of Argentina – for
the right price – to arrange any extras.
Cost: Potential pilgrims can request
‘Iglesia Maradoniana’s price range’
by visiting their Facebook page.
58 February
November 2016
2016FourFourTwo.com
FourFourTwo.com
15 Speak the
international
language of football
There’s only one language spoken more
than Mandarin, and that’s the shared
tongue of footballers’ names. Whoever
you come across on your travels, be they
African, Asian or Inuit, there’s no better
ice-breaker than invoking George Weah,
Shinji Okazaki or any Eskimo footballers
you can think of, while giving a hopeful
thumbs-up. It will always get a grin,
because our game truly does unite.
16 Get yourself to an
Old Firm Derby
The Old Firm’s got a new vibe, with
back-from-the-dead Rangers cast in
the unlikely role of plucky underdogs
against Celtic, who represented a dog
without a bone during the four seasons
they were gone. With both clubs under
the stewardship of forward-thinking
managers and local fans baulking at
increased ticket prices, there may never
be a better time for neutrals to taste the
derby’s unique atmosphere. As Paolo
Di Canio said, “There’s nothing like it.”
14 Watch a night game
in broad daylight
17 Make a pilgrimage
to the Maracana
Rome has the Colosseum; Paris has the
Why: There are two ways to approach Eiffel Tower; Rio de Janeiro has the
Iceland during a summer visit: try to Maracana (or the Estadio Jornalista
live by ‘regular’ hours and end up Mario Filho, if you prefer). This temple
going completely batty like Al Pacino of football no longer holds 200,000 (it’s
in Insomnia (yes, we know that film a 78,000 all-seater) but its rich history
is set in Alaska) or just roll with the is reflected in the excellent one-hour
24-hour daylight and start attending tour, which will set you back less than
football matches that kick off at 10pm 20 quid even for the VIP treatment.
without the need for floodlights. We
recommend the latter: this is a land
of confusion after all – don’t get the
locals started on trolls and the secret
Huldufolk people – and Iceland’s top
Premier League, the Urvalsdeild, is
one of Europe’s most fascinating, fun
and well-attended divisions in terms
of proportion to population size.
How: The Urvalsdeild runs from May to
early October and tickets can be easily
procured on the gate. Among the top
recommendations are capital derbies
between KR, Fram, Valur and Vikingur.
Local knowledge: Most of Iceland’s top
clubs are inevitably found in Reykjavik,
but two of the country’s top sides are
not. Champions Fimleikafelag play in
the cultural hub of Hafnarfjardar –
sensibly, the team are known as FH
– while rivals Breidablik UBK, part
of Iceland’s largest sports club, are
located in lovely Kopavogur, which is
home to the country’s tallest building.
Cost: Flights to Reykjavik can be bagged
for under £50 and tickets for most of
the games won’t cost much more than
a tenner. You may need to remortgage
your house to buy a pint, however.
18
Have your hair cut
by Pele’s barber
If Pele’s passing through Santos, he’ll
be sure to pop in to Didi’s for a trim. The
three-time world champion’s favourite
barber shop is right next to the Vila
Belmiro stadium he called home for
most of his career, and its status as
Pele’s salon of choice has seen it
included in many city guides. A cut
will set you back R$20 (under £5).
19
Ring the bell
at Montreal
Sourced from Ohio by the 1642 MTL
supporters’ group and installed last
year, the bell refers to Montreal’s
nickname as ‘the city of a hundred
steeples’. You’ll need to be a member
($20 per year) if you want to ring it.
20
Eat world-class
pulled pork from
West Ham’s Ribman
Why can’t all vans – or in this case, milk
floats – outside football grounds dish up
food as good as this, eh? Mark Gevaux,
AKA The Ribman, is a trained butcher
and his pulled pork, which is cooked
on a barbecue using a closely guarded
recipe, is the grub of the gods. He also
sells his own range of spicy condiments,
including ‘Christ on a Bike’ hot sauce.
21
Attend an MLS
tailgate party
Car parks in British football are drizzly,
miserable places made for congestion,
overcharging and minor scuffles, but
one of the finest traditions of American
football – tailgating – has translated
seamlessly to MLS. Pre-game, fans grill
meat, drink kegs and mix happily, often
feeding opposition supporters. Weirdos.
22
See stained glass
of Duncan Edwards
The iconic footballer, thought before his
untimely Munich death at 21 to be the
most complete England player of all
time, is poignantly memorialised in two
stained-glass windows within St Francis
Church in his hometown of Dudley. The
church is open 9.15am to 2pm, Monday
to Friday. There is a car park behind the
church and you can also visit Edwards’
grave, located in the town’s cemetery.
23
Do the Poznan...
in Poznan
Why: Possibly invented by Lech Poznan
fans in the 1980s – though other Polish
supporters did it too – ‘the Poznan’
became globally famous when the
Manchester City faithful adopted it after
a Europa League match in 2010. It has
been performed with varying degrees
of competence elsewhere. In Spain,
Deportivo Alaves fans do the Poznan
while singing the theme to children’s TV
series Pippi Longstocking – obviously –
but for the real deal, go and see Lech.
How: When your side scores, turn your
back on the pitch, lock arms with other
fans and jump. You can buy tickets via
the club’s Android app (they’re sent via
SMS), or take a guided stadium tour.
Tram 6 from Poznan’s main train station
to the stadium takes just 15 minutes.
Local knowledge: Poznan is considered
the home of the potato in Poland, so
there’s no shortage of spuds on menus.
The BSA Sport Pub (Ulica Dluga 11) is
plastered with football memorabilia,
including Lech souvenirs, and you’ll find
home and away fans drinking cheap
beer here when there’s a game on.
Cost: Tickets from £9. Potatoes vary.
THE BUCKET LIST
24
Play with (or
against) your hero
Why: PlayWithALegend.com, brainchild
of ex-Gunner Perry Groves, is a neat idea
for stag dos or birthday surprises. Within
reason (and allowing a loose definition
of the term ‘legend’), a Premier League
legend will join you and your mates for
a match. What Liverpool fan wouldn’t
want to set up a tap-in for Rushie? Could
any Chelsea diehard resist being the
victim of a Michael Duberry reducer?
How: Email info@playwithalegend.com
or call 0208 202 6766, for anything from
five-a-side to a match at a club ground.
Local knowledge: Don’t think you can
mix it. As FFT discovers every time we
face an ex-pro, just because they’re 58
and have two new knees doesn’t mean
they aren’t 800 times better than you.
Who needs speed with a touch like that?
Cost: Prices start from £80 per person.
25
Watch two
teams defend
a hemisphere each
Why: According to Uruguayan journalist
and novelist Eduardo Galeano, there’s
only one place on Earth where the north
and south do battle on a level playing
field: the Zerao stadium in Macapa,
northern Brazil. The halfway line runs
along the Equator, so each side defends
a hemisphere for 45 minutes each way.
How: Well... even people who regularly
travel to Brazil may never meet anyone
who’s been to Macapa – flights aren’t
cheap and there are very few direct
routes from major cities. Good luck!
Local knowledge: Most tourists in
Macapa are passing through en route
to French Guiana. There’s not a whole
lot to see in this part of the world, once
you’re done larking about with a foot in
each hemisphere, so maybe just stop
by the Mercado Central (Central Market)
and search for Amazonian souvenirs.
Cost: Match tickets are R$10 – about £2.
FourFourTwo.com
FourFourTwo.com October 2016 59
November
26
THE BUCKET LIST
Play five-a-side while
floating around in
the Andaman Sea
Why: This certainly isn’t your local
Goals Centre. Having been glued to the
1986 World Cup, bored kids in the tiny
Thai fishing village of Koh Panyee built
a pitch from wooden crates and bits of
rafts, then proceeded to win regional
tournaments – now they’re one of the
best youth teams in the country. There
can be no doubt that a game here will
help to hone your shooting skills, as
any shot off target results in a swim
in the ocean to get the ball back.
How: You can get to Koh Panyee
directly from Thai tourist hotspot
Phuket, or from Krabi. It’s close to
the island of Khao Phing Kan, which
became famous as Scaramanga’s lair
in 1974 James Bond film The Man with
the Golden Gun, so it’s very much on
the boat trip circuit. Once you’re in Koh
Panyee, you’ll pretty much be dragged
to the pitch for a quick kickaround.
Local knowledge: There used to be
protruding nails between the boards
of the pitch, so locals learned where to
avoid flinging themselves when trying
to win a free-kick. These days there’s
a new nail-free pitch, but you can still
have a go on the old one. Just cut down
on the diving, unless it’s into the sea.
Cost: After the flight to Thailand (about
£500), everything else is pretty much
free – though it wouldn’t hurt to bring
a spare ball for the kids in case all their
own have floated off towards Malaysia.
27 Experience the
world’s biggest
unsegregated derby
Why? At least twice every year,
Orlando Pirates and Kaizer Chiefs
meet in the Soweto Derby at
Soccer City, venue of the 2010
World Cup Final, to do battle
in front of 95,000 supporters.
Buccaneers (Pirates) fans
sit alongside their
Amakhosi rivals as
they sing, dance
and blow on
their vuvuzelas
– remember
them? – to
cheer on South
Africa’s two
biggest clubs.
In a country
that has spent so
much of its history
segregated by law,
it is a fascinating
experience to see two
bitter rivals get together
for the love of a game that
gives so many supporters an
escape from everyday life. People come
from the affluent Sandton suburbs as
well as the poverty-stricken townships
in order to witness the spectacle.
How? Once you’ve made it as far as
Johannesburg, getting to the game is
easy. Go to www.computicket.com to
book your ticket, then order an Uber
through to Soccer City a few hours
before the game is due to get started.
Local knowledge: You won’t see traffic
like Soweto Derby traffic anywhere else
in the world. It’s better to get yourself
to the stadium early doors and then
hang around for a while afterwards,
instead of braving the rather boisterous
derby-day queues. Pick up a beer and
a boerewors roll inside the stadium and
take in the impressive surroundings.
Cost: Match tickets are R80 (about £4),
while a taxi will set you back in the
region of R200 (approximately £10).
28
Have a kickabout
in the world’s
biggest stadium
If you think we mean the Maracana,
think again. Instead, head to Prague,
where this giant gem (above) is only
a 15-minute walk from the famous
Charles Bridge. The Strahov Stadium
was completely rebuilt in the Soviet era
– today, its stands are an amazing blast
from the past – and its perimeter is so
vast that no fewer than nine football
pitches can be housed within it. The
stadium used to house athletics events
as well as football, and in its prime the
capacity was 230,000, which is just plain
silly. Best of all: though it’s currently
being used as Sparta Prague’s training
complex, it’s accessible to everyone.
29
Hear You’ll Never
Walk Alone being
belted out at Anfield
Some hostile visiting supporters still
attempt to chant dismissively over the
Scouse hymn, but it speaks volumes
to the appeal of YNWA that most
fans don’t, choosing instead to savour
the optimistic ode to perseverance
in adverse weather conditions. Catch
the Kop on top form, though, and it
still retains the ability to tingle a spine.
30 Eat Edin Dzeko’s
favourite dinner
The Balkan bite cevapi – minced pork
and/or beef in a flatbread served with
a hot pepper sauce – is sold in grounds
and loved by one of Sarajevo’s favourite
sons, Edin Dzeko, but arguably the best
place to eat it in the Bosnian capital is
actually Galatasaray. The restaurant is
owned by former footballer Tarik Hodzic,
who brought the Turkish influence back
from his former club by adding salad.
 THE BUCKET LIST

35 Watch Hajduk
Split go to battle
with Dinamo Zagreb
Why: Dinamo are on an incredible
11-year title-winning streak. Hajduk,
though, are the best-supported club in
the country, with well over 40,000 paid
members and die-hard supporters who
never, ever stop singing. Earlier on this
season, their team fell 4-0 behind in the
derby, but rather than quietly file out of

34
Watch the worst
team in the world
Why: Ibis in Brazil pride themselves on
being the worst team in the world, after
setting a Guinness World Record in the
’80s for playing the most games without
a win (55). Watching them play is an
experience: their fans spend most of
the time gently mocking their own
players and don’t really care about the
result, as long as they lose in the end.
the stadium, their fans just turned up
the volume. Win or lose, you’re up for
one hell of an experience with that lot.
How: Unless Hajduk are fairly close to
Dinamo in the league table (and they
usually aren’t), there will be plenty of
tickets available on matchday. You
can buy them at the ground in the
hours running up to kick-off. Though
Hajduk’s Poljud Stadium is less than
a mile from the city centre, it’s easy
to get lost in the labyrinth of narrow

31
See football’s most
famous hedge
Brechin City’s charming Glebe Park
ground is home to the most famous
hedge in British football – few league
clubs anywhere have one running
adjacent to more than half of the
pitch. Match tickets cost £13 and
home and away fans are rarely
segregated – plus the snack
bar’s soup is immense. To get
there, take a bus to Brechin
from Montrose train station.
How: With difficulty – Ibis play mostly
at Paulo Petribu stadium in Carpina,
more than 50km inland from Recife. To
watch Ibis, you’ll have to take a (cheap)
Expresso 1002 bus into the desert.
Local knowledge: Don’t worry about
buying a ticket in advance – only six
fans showed to watch their first game
of this season in the Pernambuco state
second division (they lost, obviously).
A mandatory stop on your way should
be the Recife barber shop owned by
former Ibis ‘star’ Mauro Shampoo,
a cult hero midfielder who scored
streets, but you’re unlikely to miss
groups of people wearing Hajduk
tops and singing, so just follow them.
Local knowledge: Members of the
Hajduk-crazy Torcida Split, the oldest
organised supporters’ group in Europe,
gather in a bar called Krom, which is
also within walking distance of the city
centre and the stadium. They can be
pretty friendly, provided you’ve done
your homework: before you go there,
learn why Hajduk are the people’s club
and why Dinamo belong to the devil.
Cost: It’s £11-£14 for a match ticket.

32
only one goal in his entire career. To sit in the North End with the Torcida
Join in the Cost: Tickets are R$5 – just over £1. costs only £7, but it’ll be packed.
applause at
Rapid Vienna
In the 75th minute of every Rapid
Vienna home match, the fans start
clapping rapidly – and continue to do
so until the final whistle. The uplifting
ritual started during the pre-war years,
when such applause inspired Rapid to
snatch a draw from the jaws of defeat.
Fancy being a part of it? The nearest
Metro stop to the new Allianz Stadium
is Hutteldorf, found on the U4 line from
Vienna’s historic centre, and prices for
a match ticket vary from £40 to £150.

33 Watch a match
with 100,000
others in Tehran
Getting an Iranian visa – a must if you
want to enter the country – can be
“long and unpredictable”, say the
Foreign Office, but if successful you’ll be
rewarded with one of the world’s most
intense derbies: Persepolis vs Esteghlal.
The attendances are staggering – but
if you don’t want to get caught in the
crossfire of a game that makes not just
the capital but the whole country come
to a halt, seeing a crucial World Cup
qualifier for Iran is the next best thing.
 THE BUCKET LIST

38 Try some tropeiro

(‘troopers’ beans)
in Belo Horizonte
The mix of beans, pork, bacon, onion
and spices known to Brazilians as
tropeiro has long been synonymous
with the Mineirao stadium, especially
at a time when ticket prices were cheap
and attendances were massive. During
the 1990s, both Cruzeiro and Atletico
Mineiro would attract in excess of
100,000 people to watch the Belo
Horizonte derby, which sounds perfect
when accompanied by a few beers.

39 Head a clearance
back onto the
pitch from the stands
This will happen once in every 1,847
matches you attend, so pay attention.
Should a football ever skim off Boaz
Myhill’s shin and arc perfectly towards

Visit Buenos Aires’ you, do not attempt to either evade it

or catch it. As Eminem said, you only

football-themed café
get one shot – so plant your forehead
on it, propel it back onto the field of

37
play and await the chant: “Sign him
Why: If you’re visiting Argentina with Get involved in up, sign him up, sign him up!”
a Timbers tifo

40
an interest in its two major passions –
tango and football – then you should Why: Tifos are beautiful displays of Don the coolest
not spurn the opportunity to chow synchronicity, art and passion, and in football shirt ever
down at a venue that celebrates both. Portland, the Timbers Army take theirs Many kits are heralded as football’s
El Banderin is where idols including very seriously, demanding total secrecy hippest, but Peru’s iconic red sash
Adolfo Pedernera, of River’s famous in the weeks of preparation. As an iconic on a white backdrop symbolised the
La Maquina side, and tango singer piece of US soccer culture, the banners swashbuckling style with which the
Carlos Gardel would spend their are often associated with the game in team, coached by Brazilian legend
afternoons in the 1930s. Whether question, so you can be part of history. Didi, reached the 1970 World Cup
it’s Manchester United or an Italian How: You can join the Timbers Army via quarter-finals. For less than £40
third-division side, it’s likely your team their website. Then, volunteer to help you can buy one from various
will be represented on the walls: the and start adding your own bit of colour online emporiums and then
pennants are so popular, tourists now to the tifo. You don’t need to be artistic, pretend to be Teofilo Cubillas
offer to send their own paraphernalia either – all skill levels are welcome, with (left) – or a time-travelling
so that their clubs are also present. enthusiasm the only requirement. Nobby Solano, perhaps.
How: This famous spot is located in Local knowledge: While you’re there,
Almagro, a few short steps from Carlos keep your eyes open for Timber Joey’s
Gardel underground station, and picked log. The club mascot slices off a slab of
up the name El Banderin (The Pennant) tree for each home goal scored, and it’s
in 1960, after owner Mario Riesco had then passed around the crowd before
started to collect them. Now its walls being presented to the goalscorer later.
bear more than 500 banderines from Cost: Membership to the Timbers Army
all over the world. “What really saved is priced at $25 per year. Bargain!
me was plastic,” says Riesco. “Old ones
are a thick fabric, which is impossible
to clean or wash.” Riesco still serves
coffee every afternoon and is more
than willing to chat with customers.
Local knowledge: The phrase, “¿Tiene
el banderin de...?” (“Do you have the
pennant of...?”) will certainly come
in handy. If you want to follow the
tradition, ask for a mighty picada
(assorted cold cuts) with a fernet (an
alcoholic spirit), having heeded the
notice that reads: “If you drink to forget,
please pay before drinking”. Cash only.
Cost: One picada will set you back
£6.60 and a fernet just £3.30, making
El Banderin considerably cheaper than
the fancy bars in the Palermo district.

62 November
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2016FourFourTwo.com
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41 Take a child to his
or her first match
Youngsters can react to their first game
with wide-eyed delight or utter boredom.
It’s a rite of passage either way – but
when it goes well, it feels special to help
an enthusiastic new recruit onto your
club’s emotional rollercoaster and the
lifelong personal connection that brings.
42 See 11 European
Cups in one place
Why: All right, some of those cups are
replicas, but seeing football’s blingest
trophy room at Real Madrid’s Estadio
Santiago Bernabeu is still genuinely
awesome, in the original sense of
the word. It is all staged in the best
possible taste, but the sheer volume
of silverware crammed into the glass
cases and cabinets is almost oppressive.
The gaudiest concoction of all is the
Super Ballon d’Or, created in 1989 to
honour the genius of Los Merengues’
Argentine legend Alfredo Di Stefano,
which looks more like an absurdly
complicated piece of confectionery.
How: The Bernabeu has its own metro
station on Line 10, which can be caught
from the Plaza de Espana in the centre.
From the main Atocha railway station,
take the No.14 bus to the stadium.
Local knowledge: Come back down to
Earth by watching a game at Madrid’s
yo-yo club, Rayo Vallecano. Currently
playing in the second tier, the Red
Sashes’ eclectic list of former greats
includes Laurie Cunningham, Michu
and Toni Polster. Listen out for the song
La Vida Pirata, in which fans praise rum
and make politically incorrect claims
about the morality of French women.
Cost: The entire Bernabeu stadium tour,
which also includes the dressing rooms,
costs around €20 – so it’s well worth it.
43 Play where the
Incas walked
Why? If you’re brave enough to hike the
Machu Picchu trail, rather than taking
the lazy day bus, then have a word with
your sherpas and go for a kickabout on
one of the highest football pitches in
the world. At about 13,000 feet above
sea level, you probably won’t last long
running around with your incredibly fit
hosts in their sandals made of tyres,
but it’s worth giving it a go just for the
view. Dusty pitch, rolling landscape,
benches for goals – it’s beautiful.
How? First, you need to book a flight
to Peru and a Machu Picchu expedition
(G Adventures are a good company to
use). You’ll have to fly into Lima; from
there, the tour company should have
you covered. The Inca Trail’s demanding
but worth every single ounce of sweat.
Local knowledge: You’ll need to ask
the sherpas specifically about having
a game, as it’s not part of the tour but
something they just do for themselves.
Also, when you get to Cuzco and they
say don’t drink alcohol until you are
acclimatised, don’t drink alcohol until
you are acclimatised. The altitude will
quickly turn you into a Freshers’ Week
lightweight. Do try a piscola cocktail
when you finally are used to it, though.
Cost: Once you’ve got yourself to Lima,
it’ll set you back another £764 for the
tour, including accommodation.
FourFourTwo.com
FourFourTwo.com October 2016 63
November
 THE BUCKET LIST
Take a boat up the
river Weser to see
Werder Bremen
Why: The Weserstadion could hardly
be located in any more picturesque
surrounds: it’s set right on the river
Weser (as the name would suggest)
and surrounded by wooded parkland.
You owe it to yourself, then, to arrive in
a fashion that makes the most of that
natural beauty, giving the city hustle
and bustle a wide berth and taking the
boat instead. By the time you dock,
you’ll have whetted your appetite for
a few minutes already by seeing the
floodlights poking above the trees.
How: Get on at Martinianleger, the quay
on Martinistrasse, which is a short walk
from the town hall. The ferry leaves
from Pier 2, and it takes 20 minutes
of pleasant chugging to arrive at the
stadium. You can buy tickets at the
quay and the boat will drop you at
the park next to the stadium.
Local knowledge: If the weather’s OK
and you are not too pressed for time,
walk back at least some of the way into
town. The one downside of taking the
boat is that you’ll miss the array of bars
on Vor dem Steintor. Get a drink with
the locals there and share a chorus
of Wonderwall (adopted as the
club song) with them.
Cost: €3.50 one-way
or €5.50 return, and
half-price for kids.
45
Visit the home of
park football
Hackney Marshes is the Wembley of
Sunday League football, and a thrilling
reminder of the game’s community
roots (David Beckham and Bobby Moore
once played here, y’know). You can gaze
across all the action from the Hackney
Marshes centre and even go spotting
for resident bats. Take the bus: the 236,
276, 308, W15 and N26 all stop there.
46 Lose your breath
at the world’s
highest-altitude
national stadium
At an altitude of 3,637m (11,932ft),
Estadio Hernando Siles in La Paz is
Bolivia’s hallowed turf – they beat
Argentina 6-1 here in 2009. Away
teams hate the ground, because you
can struggle for breath after a mere
walk. For a cheap white-knuckle ride to
the stadium, jump on a collectivo bus.
47 Rock up at Braga
Former quarries generally
don’t get transformed into things of
beauty. The Estadio Municipal de Braga,
brilliantly rendered by the Portuguese
architect Eduardo Souto de Moura, is
the exception. Hewn from the rockface,
it has only two lateral stands that are
tied together by cables. It’s a unique
place to take in a Primeira Liga fixture –
and cheap on the gate to get in, too.

48
Sing Abide
With Me at
the FA Cup final
This mournfully uplifting number was
first performed at the FA Cup final by
a military band in 1927, and fans were
so taken that it became a permanent
fixture. Traditionally, the first and last
of its seven verses are sung. Try not to
miss your cue, as singer Karen Harding
did at the 2016 final. You had one job...
49
Watch elephant
football
There’s nothing quite like watching an
elephant dribble past an opponent and
lash the ball into the net. You can see
this spectacle in the elephant football
match at Nepal’s Chitwan Elephant
Festival, held in Sauhara National Park
every December. A return flight on Yeti
Airlines (great name) to Chitwan from
Kathmandu costs less than £120.
50
Grab Argentina’s
best football grub
Choripan is essentially a pimped-up
version of a hotdog, with the sausage
existing somewhere between chorizo,
frankfurter and a British butcher’s
banger. It’s popular all over South
America but best in Argentina, where
you can buy it from one of the many
barbecues that pop up outside football
grounds on a matchday, smothered
in some traditional chimichurri sauce.
51 Relive Zizou’s
darkest moment
‘Headbutt’, Abel Abdessemed’s
captivating statue of the worst (and
last) header of Zinedine Zidane’s career,
treats Zizou and Marco Materazzi as if
they’re figures in Greek myths. To see it,
fly to Qatar, hire a cab from Hamad
How many
International Airport to the Museum of
you ticked of
Islamic Art and take the courtesy bus ythi ng ? Ge
missed an
to Doha’s Arab Museum of Modern Art.
by tweeting
Entry is free but it’s shut on Mondays.
usin
#FFTBucke
THE BUCKET LIST
52 Enjoy a beer
with Coutinho
Why: No, not the Liverpool schemer,
53 Visit the Ottmar
Hitzfeld Stadium
via cable car
but one of the stars of Santos’ iconic Why: Perched 2,000m (about 6,500ft)
’50s and ’60s team. The man regarded above sea level and within spitting
as Pele’s best ever strike partner was distance of trendy Zermatt, one of
celebrating his 73rd birthday last June, Europe’s most fashionable ski resorts,
joined by other former stars including the Ottmar Hitzfeld Stadium was built
Rivellino, one of the best midfielders of on the only piece of flat land available
all time. The group enjoyed a few drinks in the tiny Swiss village of Gspon. As
at Padaria do Carlinhos, a favourite a result, the pitch is only three-quarter
haunt for ex-players. Head to Carlinhos size. It’s definitely worth a visit, with
and, if you’re lucky, you could bump the breathtaking views making this one
into them and chat about the golden of the world’s most beautiful grounds.
days of Brazilian football. Lovely stuff. Home to Swiss no-marks FC Gspon, the
How: Buses to Santos leave from Sao ground is accessible only by cable car,
Paulo’s Jabaquara terminal and take as usual modes of transport splutter to
about an hour. In Santos bus station, a standstill in air so thin. Who knows?
ask for Padaria do Carlinhos – anybody You might even find yourself travelling
local will know it. The place is named up with the Gspon FC players on their
after its owner, a famous Santos fan. way to the highest pitch in Europe.
Local knowledge: Having some trouble How: There’s really no need to book in
k out for the Santos advance for this one, as the cable car
side the entrance: from the village of Stalden to Gspon
m demand Robinho’s runs all year round (except the first
he club, while others two Mondays of every month, when
ticise the board. Oh, it’s shut for maintenance). There are
and never visit there hourly train connections to Zermatt
wearing the shirt from Geneva and Zurich airports.
of rivals Sao Paulo, Local knowledge: Duck inside the
or Palmeiras. Ever. Bahnhofbuffet il Buffeto in Stalden for
tty cheap: just $7 for a bite to eat and an alpine beer before
is about £1.60, or $6 the lung-bursting ride above the clouds.
cachaça. Cheers! Cost: The cable car journey costs £8.
ve
of these ha
ve we
f? An d ha
t involved
o
@FourFourTw
g th e ha shtag
t List
Stuffed
cockerel
 VICTOR
WAnYAMA
He played without boots until he was 15, then scored against
Barcelona six years later, so there shouldn’t be much for Spurs
new boy Victor Wanyama to fear. Except the odd rooster, maybe

Real-life
midfielder

Words James Maw Photography Richard Cannon

 VICTOR
WAnYAMA

witter hasn’t improved many football players’ public

image. Be it Joleon Lescott’s ‘accidental’ taunting of
his own club’s fans, or Joey Barton’s persistent Joey
Barton-ing, the social network has helped do more
damage to the reputation of top-flight footballers
than any number of own goals or missed sitters.
That can’t be said of Tottenham’s Victor Wanyama,
however. The Kenyan midfielder may be an imposing,
all-action wrecking ball on the pitch, but hand him his
smartphone and joy and laughter soon abound.
His Twitter account is a hoot. From enthusiastic musical
recommendations (“Red Hot Chili Papers [sic] they are really
hot like chili good band”) to in-depth culinary analysis (“I had spaghetti
and it was very nice I enjoyed it”), there’s something for everyone.
The tweet that was most at odds with his midfield hard man persona
came on April 26, 2012, when Wanyama admitted to all and sundry
that he was so scared of a film, he actually had to dispense of the DVD.
“We’d played an away match that day, so I got home late at night,”
he tells FourFourTwo in the front room of his shiny new north London
home. “I was finding it difficult to sleep, so I tried to watch Paranormal
Activity 3. It was just horrible. I didn’t realise it was going to be that
brutal. I actually went to the bin and put it straight in there. I’ve never
seen the end of it. I don’t really watch scary movies any more.”

Watching supernatural horror films may daunt the former Celtic and
Southampton star, but moving to England’s capital this year didn’t.
“London is a little bit similar to Nairobi,” explains Wanyama, his grin
suggesting he expected FFT’s surprised reaction. “In Nairobi there’s a lot
of nightlife and partying, Monday through to Monday. People don’t sleep!
“This is quite a lively city, too, and so far it has been good fun. I am
happy to be here. It’s quite different to Southampton or Glasgow: here
you meet a lot of people from all over the world, which is a great thing.
Sometimes you’ll even bump into someone from your own country,
which is nice. I’ve had quite a few Kenyan people come and talk to
me since I’ve been in London. Before, particularly in Southampton,
I wouldn’t see as many foreigners. I did meet one Kenyan man in
Glasgow, but he was from far away – Edinburgh, I think.”
The 25-year-old speaks fondly of his childhood back in Nairobi,
despite memories of street crime, having to walk several miles to
get to youth-team matches, and not having the benefit of being
able to play regularly in football boots until he was 15.
“We weren’t tired,” Wanyama shrugs, thinking of those long walks to
games. “We were in a big group and we’d always be talking and joking.
When we got to the pitch, we weren’t thinking about how far we had
walked. We just wanted to play football for as long we could. We’d play
until the dark came – only the dark can decide when the game is over.
“I didn’t play in boots until I was 14 or 15 and joined the JMJ Youth
Academy. I don’t really talk to my team-mates about things like that.
They don’t ask about it. Most of them already know that coming from
Africa isn’t easy. These experiences give you a strong mind, as you
aren’t expecting things to come easily. I’m always on my toes.”
Those character-building experiences may help to explain why
Wanyama is from such good footballing stock. Not only did his father,
Noah, play for 13-time Kenyan champions AFC Leopards during the
1980s, but Victor’s brothers – Thomas, Sylvester and McDonald Mariga
– all play, too. Indeed, Mariga was on the bench for Jose Mourinho’s
Inter Milan in their 2010 Champions League Final triumph.
In his youth, Victor would go to the local cinema to watch broadcasts
of matches involving big European clubs. One player in particular stood
out as something of a role model for the aspiring midfield lynchpin.
“I used to watch Manchester United and I really liked Roy Keane,”
he recalls. “He was a really good player. I liked his character as well as
his football ability.” FFT reminds our interviewee that Keane’s a scary
guy – would Victor be intimidated? “I’ve never met him. I don’t think
I’d be intimidated. The way he commands his team gives you that
energy to work hard. If I can get to his level, that would be great!”
Wanyama has already emulated Keane in being Celtic’s midfield
enforcer. In fact, in that regard, the Kenyan outperformed his idol.
Wanyama arrived in Glasgow in 2011, having spent three years in
Belgium with Beerschot after 12 months in the academy of Swedish
club Helsingborg. “Belgium and Sweden were both nice countries,” he
says, “although Sweden was very cold – maybe colder than Glasgow!”
He won back-to-back Scottish league titles in 2012 and 2013, as well
as the Scottish Cup, and he also picked up the top flight’s Young Player
of the Year award in the second of his two seasons north of the border.
But the pinnacle, undoubtedly, was a 21st-minute header against
Barcelona that set the Scottish champions on their way to an historic
and unexpected Champions League victory over the Catalan side in
November 2012. Parkhead, as you’d expect, went ballistic.
“It felt great,” Wanyama purrs. “After scoring that goal I thought the
stadium would come down! Everyone was running down to the front
of the stands. I thought, ‘Oh my days, what is happening?’”
To make that moment even sweeter, the midfielder knew how the
goal was being celebrated back home – and not just because a local
lad was doing the business on Europe’s biggest stage.
“In Kenya there’s a big fanbase of both Celtic and Rangers,” he
tells FFT. “For a very long time they had charity set-ups in Kenya,
and that built the support and the rivalry. I used to see people in
Celtic and Rangers jerseys going to the pub to watch their games.”
So perhaps it’s no surprise that Wanyama had history on his mind
when picking a squad number to wear for the Hoops – specifically,
the European Cup-winning Lisbon Lions of 1967. He explains: “When
I moved to Celtic I had never played in the Champions League. I used
to watch Celtic playing in big European matches, and it was my dream
to one day win the competition. That was why I took the No.67 jersey.”
What, then, of the No.12 shirt he has taken at both Southampton and
Spurs? A nod to Saints’ Premier League return in 2012, or to Tottenham
finishing in the top four (albeit without a Champions League spot as
reward) that same year? Nope. “Twelve is just my favourite number.”
Wanyama isn’t quite so keen on the number three, though. That’s
the number of red cards he was shown in the Premier League with
Southampton last season, meaning he spent a total of eight games
– some 20 per cent of the campaign – sidelined through suspension.
He fears that this one season in which he had a poor disciplinary
record may see him misrepresented as a hatchet man.
“They were my first red cards in England,” Wanyama reasons, “and
I would say that two of them were harsh. Everyone knows that I like
to tackle, and sometimes you miss your timing and catch someone.”
He may have a point. Red card No.1 came when Wanyama was
shown a second yellow for a needless trip on Bournemouth’s Lee

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 VICTOR
WAnYAMA

“ I THInK I’M WELL SUITE D TO

THE En GLISH GAME. I LIKE TO
GET STUCK In BUT I ALS O LI KE
TO BOM B FORWARD AnD S C O R E”
 VICTOR
WAnYAMA
Tomlin, having arguably been unlucky to receive an earlier booking
for a first-half tackle on Cherries full-back Adam Smith. A reckless
challenge on Norwich City’s Alexander Tettey during a defeat at
Carrow Road in January brought about the second dismissal.
On this occasion, then-Saints manager Ronald Koeman was
particularly irked by his midfielder’s indiscipline.
“I’m angry about the second yellow card from Victor,” the
Dutchman fumed after the match, “because a player with his
experience needs to know that if you already have a yellow in
a game, you cannot do that tackle in that position on the pitch.”
The third sending-off came the following month in a home victory
over West Ham. Perhaps in this instance, Wanyama’s reputation for
a meaty challenge had preceded him, as his attempt to tackle Dimitri
Payet didn’t appear to result in any significant contact being made
with the Frenchman. That didn’t stop Mark Clattenburg flashing
a straight red card (very little does), or Wanyama’s manager again
ruing his player’s rash judgment. “You can’t do that tackle,” Koeman
grumbled after the match, which Southampton still won 1-0. “It’s
a hard tackle. You give the referee the possibility of giving a red.”
Spurs manager Mauricio Pochettino clearly wasn’t concerned by
Wanyama’s disciplinary record. Having tried and failed to bring his
former Southampton charge to White Hart Lane in the summer
of 2015, he had more success in sealing the deal the following year.
“I know Victor very well,” Pochettino said after the pair’s reunion
was confirmed. “He can improve our squad and help us for the next
few years. He’s a very strong holding midfielder who can play well
with the ball. He’s powerful. I think he is the perfect player for us.
Our priority is always to sign players who know the Premier League –
it’s important. It’s not easy, but when you have the possibility to
sign a player like him, it’s a good opportunity.”
In a summer that saw Premier League clubs throwing wads of cash
at each other like unruly kids hurling clumps of mud, spending just
£11 million on a midfielder with three distinguised years of English
top-flight experience under his belt – not to mention a Champions
League campaign with Celtic – looks like particularly good business.
It was Pochettino who brought Wanyama to the Premier League
in 2013, persuading Southampton to part with £12.5m for the
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Kenyan shortly after his 22nd birthday. The rapport between player
and manager was so good that linking up with the Argentine again
in north London was a no-brainer for Wanyama.
“He played a big part in convincing me to join the club,” Victor
tells us. “I had a few options but he was able to convince me to
come here because I had worked with him before and know he
is a manager who will improve players. Also, the club is in the
Champions League, and has the chance to do well in the Premier
League, too. He said to me that I should come and try to achieve
some things with this club, and that they could win trophies.
“Pochettino is a really good person outside of football as well as
in football. He’s like a father figure [to the players], always speaking
with everyone and giving them advice. All of the players look up to
him as a father figure and also as a manager.”
The Tottenham boss had clearly identified Wanyama as being
able to bring something different to the table. But what is it the
25-year-old has that his team-mates don’t?
“Every player has his own style, and it’s when they all combine that
they really help the team,” the Kenya international says. “My style?
I like to win the ball, I like to tackle – but if I get the chance then I like
to bomb forward and try to get goals, too. I think I’m well suited to
the English game, because getting stuck in is not a problem for me.
I’m OK with the physical side of the game.”
Last season the physical side of the game was hardly a problem
for Spurs, either, even as their title bid unravelled. In the infamous
‘Battle of Stamford Bridge’ – the 2-2 draw that ultimately handed
Leicester top spot – several Tottenham men left their mark on their
opponents, to put it euphemistically. If anything, it was their mental
state that came under question. Yet Wanyama didn’t detect any
doom and gloom around the dressing room after his arrival in June.
“They were all right – I think they had put it behind them,” he says.
“They know they have another chance to put in the hard work and
get back to where they were last season, and to improve a little bit.
“The squad here is full of nice people; everyone has been willing
to help. There are some big characters here. Jan Vertonghen, Son
[Heung-min], Ben Davies – they’re funny guys.
“So far it’s been great. It hasn’t been as easy to gel with my new
team-mates [on the pitch] because you need time to get to know
the movements, but it has been easy for me to understand the
style of play as I know the manager well.”
Despite those early teething problems – the kind you’d expect in
the first few months after a transfer – Wanyama has made a good
early impression, not least by scoring his first goal for the club with
an 82nd-minute header in August’s 1-0 victory over Crystal Palace.
It was a goal that will have made him instantly popular with the
White Hart Lane faithful, coming at the end of a match that had
seen Tottenham struggle in front of goal.
“The Crystal Palace game was really tough,” Wanyama recalls.
“We tried everything and we had some chances , but it just wasn’t
working for us. Of course, I was really happy to score the winner,
especially as it was my home debut, too.”
But it’s not the Premier League that most excites Wanyama; it’s
a return to Europe’s elite competition, a tournament he has more
experience in than most of his team-mates.
“It’s nice to be playing in the Champions League again,” he smiles.
“A lot of our squad haven’t played in it too much, but they are still
young and now they have the chance to get some experience this
season. Hopefully we can be in a situation where we have more
Champions League nights every season.
“I think this club is up there with Celtic. It’s a big club and you can
feel that in the dressing room. We have young players who want to
work hard and who are very ambitious, which is a very good thing.”
But do those ambitions include pushing for the league title again
this season, and all the way this time?
“It’s easy to just say we can win the league, but if we work hard
then anything is possible,” says the midfielder. “We don’t talk about
the title as a target. Our target is to improve on last season’s position.”
With Wanyama’s steely presence in the Spurs engine room, you
wouldn’t bet against it. Just steer clear of the scary movies, Victor.
WHY
THE
ELL
BUnCH OF

S T U D E PnL A YTI nSG

At Loughborough University,
there’s no time for Jeremy Kyle
or sleeping off hangovers – not
with an FA Cup fixture to play
between cramming for exams
 LOUGHBOROUGH
UnIVERSITY

nOn-LEAGUE Words Chris Evans Photography Fabio De Paola

FOOTBALL?

Above Loughborough
have a strong Chinese
following – not exactly
common in non-league
Left The wall crumbles
Opposite The university
team’s facilities are the
envy of the division
T
here’s just under an hour to go before kick-off, and
a scrum of rival supporters is gathering. Fans of both
Loughborough University and Shirebrook Town jostle for
position, some holding their smartphones and trying to
snap a picture from a good angle.
In the centre of the throng, matchday secretary Gordon
Watson is bent over, pen in hand, frantically scribbling down
a list of names on a flimsy-looking flipchart. Each name is
met with interest by the baying swarm, desperate to see
which players are starting the opening game of the season.
It’s a scene that can be witnessed at non-league grounds
up and down the country every Saturday, where handwritten
team-sheets reveal a perfect hors d’oeuvre to the real
matchday action. But Watson’s scrawl isn’t appearing at pitch-level
in a rickety old non-league ground.
No, this is happening in the purple-daubed conference facilities
of Loughborough University’s eponymous stadium. It’s a £4 million
structure with a towering main stand and beautifully preened pitch,
so there’s little, if anything, to suggest that the Scholars play their
football in the Midland League Premier Division, an eye-watering
eight tiers below the Premier League.
And the deeper FourFourTwo digs, the clearer it becomes that
this is no ordinary non-league outfit.
“We run the team like a Premier League club would, with European
and league games,” chairman Michael Skubala explains proudly,
as he watches the team news break.
“We have a first-team performance squad of 25 students, so we can
train full-time throughout the season, and play Saturday-Tuesday in
the Midland Premier Division and on Wednesdays in the BUCS [British
University and College Sport] leagues.
“That’s where our sports scientists come in – because we need
to manage the players’ workloads – so in that way, too, we’re like
a professional club. Jason Euell recently came here with Charlton’s
Under-21s and he couldn’t believe the facilities we have.”
LOUGHBOROUGH
UnIVERSITY
Skubala can’t talk for long as he’s heading for the home dugout. That’s
right: the chairman will be on the touchline for today’s match, and not
just for a better view. He’ll be orchestrating his side’s quest for victory.
But the 33-year-old isn’t an over-zealous suit who’s taking his
responsibilities too far. In fact, he’s not really the chairman at all.
Skubala’s title is purely for the FA bigwigs, who require the position to
be filled when registering a team for competition, despite a university
football club having no such hierarchy in place.
Skubala is Loughborough University’s football performance manager,
and while the first-team manager Karl Brennan – also a lecturer at the
university – is on holiday in the US, Skubala is stepping into the breach.
It’s one of countless quirks littered around Loughborough University
Stadium, which nestles on the outskirts of the busy campus. With plush
buildings as far as the eye can see around the 3,300-capacity ground,
it’s the envy of every non-league club in the Midlands.
Skubala’s call to take Brennan’s place in the dugout is indicative of life
as a university team playing non-league football. Player unavailability is
another expected hindrance for today’s FA Cup Extra Preliminary Round
tie against Shirebrook – and no, that’s not down to hangovers. With six
more weeks to go until term time, there are some notable absentees
from the starting XI. Goalkeeper Danny Wright, who’d normally be
challenging for the No.1 shirt, is travelling in New Zealand. Midfielder
Jack Poxon is on a summer placement as an investment banker in
London. The first-team squad will remain eight players short until
the new intake of students arrives in more than a month’s time.
This is a regular occurrence for Loughborough, whose wretched
early-season form has undermined their entire campaign on many
occasions since they re-joined the semi-pro ranks in 2007, a few
decades after a six-year stint between 1966 and 1972.
“Last year, we lost our first six games and were down at the bottom,”
Skubala sighs. “Then in December, with a full squad, we mostly won.
“We have 10 games before term starts, so we’ll miss players who
can’t get here or are travelling around the world. We try to get the
lads to commit to Christmas and Easter, too, but it’s a challenge –
they need to work, earn money and see their families.
“It’s hard to say how close we are to our best team right now. I won’t
know that until at least September, because we’re not really sure what
level the new intake of recruits will be at. It’s not that unusual for lads
to land with us around October time and be high-flyers.”
One of the new students expected to play his way into the squad is
19-year-old Christoph Ivanusch, an Austrian centre-back who was part
of the youth team at five-time champions Wacker Innsbruck. He arrived
at Loughborough with lofty ambitions after signing up to a year-long
Erasmus foreign exchange programme to study political science. It’s
been only a week since Ivanusch touched down in England and he is
yet to fully integrate with the squad, so the defender is sizing up his
new team from the all-seater main stand instead.
“Football is very important to me and I have always wanted to live in
England, so I looked at how I could come over here,” says Ivanusch with
a conviction that would make Nigel Farage wince. “When I saw that one
option was to come to Loughborough and join the football programme
here, I was excited. There’s nothing like this in Austria.
“When you think about England, you think about the FA Cup, so I wish
I was playing some part today. It’s such a big thing. I’m hoping we can
have a good run so that I can play in a later round.”
Ivanusch’s dream of an FA Cup appearance will rely on the Scholars
somehow bucking what is fast becoming an unwanted trend. With the
preliminary rounds played long before term begins, Loughborough’s
depleted ranks have reached the first qualifying round on only two
occasions, in 2011 and 2013. For a team that’s won the BUCS top
division 35 years in a row, it’s not a proud record.
The Scholars’ poor cup form pales even further in comparison to the
exploits of other university sides. Back in a time of long moustaches
and longer shorts, the 1874 FA Cup was actually won by a student
team: Oxford University. The Blues’ success was no flash in the pan,
either, as they reached three other cup finals in 1873, 1877 and 1880.
In 2002, Team Bath became the first university side in over a century
to reach the first round proper. Using a different model to Loughborough
which included paying students to play, they earned plenty of publicity
FourFourTwo.com November 2016 75
 LOUGHBOROUGH
UnIVERSITY
for their exploits under Paul Tisdale and reached the Conference
South, before disbanding in 2009 once the Conference had ruled
that the club’s financial structure wasn’t fair.
While dreams of emulating Oxford University or Team Bath are
premature, Loughborough believe a win at home to Shirebrook,
who play one level lower in Division One of the Northern Counties
East Football League, is a real possibility.
The occasion has attracted 130 intrigued fans. Punctuated by the
players’ parents and friends, the crowd is made up of rowdy away
supporters, local enthusiasts and, curiously, more than 50 Chinese
wannabe coaches, speaking Mandarin.
Armed with selfie sticks, the tribe of Chinese spectators are also
Loughborough students – at least for a few weeks. They are here on
a summer coaching course to learn about the English game and gain
qualifications in sports psychology and performance analysis. Living in
a block of halls just a stone’s throw from the ground, the group have
been regular visitors throughout pre-season and have developed an
affinity with the club. As the players emerge, they whoop, clap and
record the moment on their phones.
“We can learn from watching the games and then go over them
again with the coaches afterwards,” says Chris Ma, one of the Chinese
contingent. “We’re all enjoying our time here, as we are learning about
a totally different style of play to the one in China. I am a coach and
sports lawyer back home, so this is a good experience for me.”
This is the first year that Loughborough have been involved in such
a union. Privately, there’s a hope that the extra home support could
inspire the class of 2016-17 to end the start-of-season hoodoo.
And it seems to be doing just that, as the students get off to the
perfect start against Shirebrook. Nearly.
Within two minutes, Josh Hill, who at 24 is the oldest Loughborough
player on the pitch, is upended in the box and wins a penalty. Debutant
Liam Trotman is on spot-kick duty, but seemingly doesn’t want to keep
the responsibility, blazing the ball over.
It’s an inauspicious start for the teenage Trotman, a former Luton Town
trainee who has moved to Leicestershire to do a sports science degree
after being released by the Hatters. He compounds his penalty miss by
playing Shirebrook’s Mitch Mullins onside and allowing the midfielder
enough space to ram the visitors ahead.
Shortly afterwards the score is 2-0, as visiting captain Liam Osborne
hoiks a cross towards goal, only for keeper Conor O’Keefe to misjudge
the flight of the ball and let it drop into the net. Cue a chorus of groans
from the dissatisfied Chinese fan club.
The goal summons Skubala to the edge of his technical area. The
chairman-cum-manager shouts some instructions and attempts to
gee up his young charges to get a foothold in the match. It begins to
have the desired effect. First, Elliot Legg directs a header at Shirebrook
keeper Richard Spink, then Trotman embarks on a mazy run that brings
a shot and a sprawling save. As the half-time whistle sounds, however,
the students still haven’t made a breakthrough and it looks as though
they’re heading for more FA Cup agony.
“I didn’t expect us to be world-beaters today – it’s always a slow
start until all the players are available,” says Loughborough local
Dave Kearins, who splits his allegiances between the university team
and the town’s other non-league outfit, Loughborough Dynamo.
“I’ve always watched football locally,” he continues. “I remember
going to watch the university side play at the athletics track during
the early 1960s, when they had Bob Wilson playing in goal. Since
I started coming here again a few years ago, the crowds have been
slowly growing as the facilities are so good.”
The mention of one of Loughborough’s most famous alumni gets
the attention of another graduate who is sitting nearby. Idafe Perez
Jimenez never pulled on Loughborough’s purple jersey, but he was
a key member of the backroom staff when the university re-entered
non-league nine years ago. Now academy director at the International
Futsal Academy, Jimenez is back on his old stamping ground, where
he was assistant manager while he completed a three-year PhD.
“Several Football League players have started their careers at
Loughborough,” he tells FFT. “This is an amazing environment to
mature because you get the experience of being in higher education
76 November
February 2016
2016FourFourTwo.com
FourFourTwo.com
and playing football in a professional setup. Bradley Pritchard is one of
the best examples of how we helped someone. He was disenchanted
with the game after being released by Crystal Palace, but he found
football again here and we helped give him the footing to move on –
not just in football, but into adult life.
“A lot of people who come through the football programme go on
to work in professional football. Pretty much every club in the country
has somebody in a staff role who has come from Loughborough. Our
full-back from my time here, Matt Reeves, has just become a Premier
League champion as head of fitness and conditioning at Leicester City.”
As the second half gets underway, the current crop of students fall
further behind. After hitting the post minutes earlier, captain Daniel
Brenan trips Mullins in the box to present opposite number Osborne with
the chance to make it three. He duly converts. It appears to be curtains.
But then, with 15 minutes remaining, Loughborough stage an unlikely
comeback. Hill strikes first with a low effort from the edge of the area,
before substitute Drew Bridge heads in a second. To general disbelief,
Bridge then notches again from the spot to draw his side level at 3-3.
There’s pandemonium in the stands as the Chinese fans and locals
join arms to celebrate the improbable rescue mission. There’s cheering
and hugs, selfies and shouting, and then the referee’s whistle. But it’s
not the final blast of the game. It’s another penalty… for Shirebrook.
Howls of jubilation turn to silence as Kyle Lilley scores from 12 yards,
prompting the visiting manager, Russ Eagle, to go wheeling down the
touchline à la Jose Mourinho at Old Trafford back in his Porto days. The
Loughborough faithful are deflated.
But the Loughborough players aren’t. As the electronic scoreboard
ticks over to 98 minutes, there’s somehow still time to launch one final
attack. A long cross is tossed into the box and, as Shirebrook fail to clear,
the ball pops up to Jeremiah Dasaolu at the far post. He heads it home.
It’s 4-4. The stand erupts again and Dasaolu, whose brother James ran
in the 4x100-metre relay for Team GB in the Rio Olympics, launches into
a supersonic sprint across the pitch. The FA Cup dream is still alive.
“My legs just started running,” laughs 19-year-old Dasaolu after the
final whistle. “I was so tired and I was thinking, ‘Why am I still running?’
It’s the first time that I’ve ever scored a goal that late in a match, so
I didn’t really know what I was doing.
“If I had to choose between a career in sports science or one out on
the pitch, I’d pick playing. You don’t get the thrill of scoring last-minute
goals unless you’re actually out there.”
It’s the first time anyone has addressed the elephant in the room.
While Loughborough’s football programme has a strict policy of players
putting education first, it’s a difficult task to keep a group of ambitious
youngsters from dreaming of greater things on the pitch. But as some
of the squad already know, the big time is not all it’s cracked up to be.
“At Luton, it’s all about getting the three points on a Saturday,” says
ex-Hatters trainee Trotman. “They care about you as a person here, and
want you to progress in football and education. My plan is to stay here
Below “Hands up if you for three years and go back into professional football with a degree.”
get to call this work!” As for Loughborough, the Scholars do progress in the FA Cup thanks
Opposite Home and to a 3-0 win at Shirebrook in the replay. However, the dream ends in the
away fans alike saw next preliminary round with a 4-1 home defeat to Gresley, who play
one hell of a match a division above them. That’s university for you: it’s a learning curve.
nEiL REDFEARn
nEiL REDFEARn
atching a Leeds United game with
Massimo Cellino has always been
like buckling up next to the most
phobic of flyers. This time, though,
he was even more anxious than
usual. “He was grabbing my leg,
twitching, yelling out in Italian,”
Neil Redfearn remembers. “Five
minutes from the end, he couldn’t
take it any more and walked off,
leaving me sat there on my own.”
It was October 25, 2014, and Leeds had been beaten 2-1 by Wolves,
leaving them 18th in the Championship. Darko Milanic was about to
become the latest victim of Cellino’s managerial massacre.
Redfearn stayed to the game’s conclusion, trudging away from
Elland Road with the rest of Leeds’ disgruntled supporters on that
cold autumnal afternoon. As the former Oldham and Barnsley
midfielder opened his car door, the phone went. “Come back in,”
said the voice at the other end. “Mr Cellino wants to see you.”
He found the Italian behind a desk in his office, glowering behind
a thick cloud of cigarette smoke. “You take the team now,” he told
Redfearn, “and get them in tomorrow.” That was all he said.
Redfearn, who had previously played in the Premier League with
Charlton and Bradford as well as Barnsley, felt a strange combination
of excitement and trepidation. As the academy manager at Leeds,
and in four matches as caretaker manager, he had witnessed the
Italian’s wild, eccentric ways. But he was also a lifelong Leeds fan
who, as a kid, had stood alongside his dad in the West Stand,
marvelling at Don Revie’s all-conquering side of the late ’60s
and early ’70s. Today he says: “If anyone had told me
back then I would be manager of Leeds one day...
well, I wouldn’t have dreamt it.”
In Cellino’s office, Redfearn’s thoughts turned
quickly to the fab four he had nurtured at the
academy: Charlie Taylor, Sam Byram, Lewis
Cook and Alex Mowatt. The quartet, all aged
21 or under at the time, were about to become
the core of his new-look Championship team.
Redfearn knew he was in for a bumpy ride
with temperamental owner Cellino, whose
reputation preceded him after a rollercoaster
22 years in charge of Serie A side Cagliari, but
he could never have envisaged what actually
transpired. Most managers are familiar with
the concept of the ‘us and them’ mentality.
Few, however, experience a situation where
‘them’ refers to the club’s owner.
When Cellino arrived at Leeds in January 2014,
he brought controversy with him. Manager Brian
McDermott was booted out before the Italian
had even completed his
takeover, meaning
he had to be
reinstated
the next
day.
Redfearn was head of development and first-team coach at the
time, and remembers well the chaos Cellino wrought: “He looked
like someone who was moving house and had only two hours to
do it. Everything was a rush and nothing made sense.”
That summer, McDermott was replaced as manager by a relative
unknown: Dave Hockaday, who’d left Conference side Forest Green
Rovers the previous year following seven defeats in eight games.
Meanwhile, Leeds’ Thorp Arch training ground was mothballed
as part of a cost-cutting exercise. “[Cellino] made the cleaners
redundant, got the apprentices doing the laundry and closed
the kitchens,” Redfearn adds. “The swimming pool was drained
because it cost £25,000 a year to heat and treat. The grass on
the training pitches grew 3ft tall. The whole place stank.”
Despite all of this, the new man in the dugout kept trying to be
open-minded, telling himself there could be method to Cellino’s
madness. After years of mediocrity, perhaps a bit of left-field
thinking was needed in order to revive the football club, and
the Italian did show glimpses of humility and cogency.
“One day that summer, I saw him standing on his own outside
Elland Road and he looked really down,” Redfearn says. “I went up
to him and said, ‘You look like you need some help, Massimo.’ He
nodded, and we talked about football for about an hour afterwards.
He listened to me and seemed to like what he heard.”
Even so, some of Cellino’s eccentric ways came as a surprise to
Redfearn during his first few months as manager. The 60-year-old
welcomed American actor Verne Troyer, most famous for playing
Mini-Me in the Austin Powers series, as a guest of honour before
a home game against Derby. The owner even insisted on cooking
the pre-match meal ahead of a fixture with Bournemouth.
Two years on, Redfearn still shakes his head in disbelief. “It’s just
a bit odd, isn’t it? The players ended up taking things on board that
shouldn’t really be happening at a professional club.”
With only two victories from his opening 10 games at the helm,
there was soon speculation that Redfearn would become Cellino’s
next – and fourth – managerial victim at Elland Road.
But the new year ushered in a new start. Assistant manager Steve
‘Thommo’ Thompson – brought in despite some initial opposition
from Cellino – was making a real impact, and chief operating officer
Matt Child was proving to be an effective buffer with the boardroom.
Redfearn, born and raised in Birkenshaw, West Yorkshire, decided to
ditch some of the recent Italian acquisitions and bring midfielders
Luke Murphy and Rodolph Austin back into the fold, while adopting
a more pragmatic style of play. By the end of March, the Whites had
won eight of their 15 league games in the calendar year and briefly
climbed into the top half of the Championship table.
It may also have helped that the Football League had banned
Cellino in January, after he was found guilty of tax evasion in Italy.
With the owner back in Miami and forbidden from involvement,
chairman Andrew Umbers took day-to-day control of the club –
although the superstitious Italian’s presence continued to be felt.

“In February, we were about to play Brighton away and Cellino sent
me this bizarre text,” Redfearn recalls. The message read as follows:
“Andrew Umbers is coming to the game and bringing his wife. She
has never seen us win. You need to get something lucky – purple
socks or a belt. Or shake [former player] Eddie Gray’s hand, because
he was born on the 17th.” Redfearn showed the surreal message to
Thompson and the pair exchanged baffled glances.
With Cellino banished, a 23-year-old Belgian by the name of Andrea
Iore became the Italian’s eyes and ears. He was offered an internship
and soon became a regular visitor to Thorp Arch.
“Andrea used to come along to see what the starting XI was going
to be for the game on Saturday,” Redfearn says.
“For a home match with Ipswich, I decided to go with four central
defenders. We were working on our shape on the Friday morning
before the game, and in the afternoon I got the call from Miami:
‘Four centre-backs? What the hell are you doing?!’ It was like the
Chuckle Brothers – I had to hold the phone at arm’s length as he
was shouting so much. We won 2-1. I didn’t hear about it again.”
Tactics may not have been a problem, but transfers sometimes
were. Nicola Salerno, Cellino’s friend, was head of recruitment.
“I remember Nicola coming in one day and saying: ‘We’ve got this
Albanian centre-forward, Edgar Cani – he’s brilliant,’” Redfearn says.
“So I looked at some footage of him using one of our scouting tools.
The lad looked raw and the level he was playing at wasn’t good, to put
it politely. After one of the goals you could hear a lone bloke clapping –
he was just about the only person in the ground.
“Cani came in for training and I just thought, ‘You’re miles away.’
He was a nice kid and he worked hard, but he was nowhere near.”
Leeds signed Cani on loan from Catania anyway.
At the start of April 2015, Leeds were one of the form teams in
the division, in a position to look up the table rather than peering
nervously down it. They should have finished the campaign with
a spring in their step. Instead, things turned nasty.
nEiL REDFEARn
First, Matt Child resigned, feeling that he had become marginalised
by Umbers. Redfearn concedes: “Matt was really good for me and for
the club, so that was a blow.” His resignation led to another “little
bomb”, as the Yorkshireman puts it, which came later in the week.
Redfearn was with Thompson in his office at Thorp Arch when there
was a knock at the door. It was Ally, the club secretary, who handed
Thompson an envelope. “He read this letter,” recounts Redfearn, “and
his face dropped. He said, ‘F**king hell, have you read this?’” The letter
told Thompson that he was suspended with immediate effect for the
way he had been “carrying out his duties”. It was signed by Salerno.
Cellino later said there had been a claim that Thompson had called
Salerno a ‘retard’ after the win at Fulham – something subsequently
denied by both Thompson and Salerno. Redfearn insists: “You could
not meet two nicer guys than Nicola and Thommo,” and adds the
source of the claim was a complete mystery.
Whatever the case, the manager was now alone on matchdays
as well as at training, and the feelgood factor around the club had
well and truly disappeared. The Whites lost their next four matches
on the bounce, before the next tremor hit.
It’s unusual to lose more than one player to a freak injury the day
before a match – but to lose six? Well, that’s exactly what happened
to Redfearn the day before an away game at Charlton. Souleymane
Doukara, Mirco Antenucci, Giuseppe Bellusci, Dario Del Fabro, Marco
Silvestri and aforementioned Albanian loanee Edgar Cani all pulled
out of the trip with strange muscle pulls.
“There wasn’t time for an inquiry because we had to set off from
Elland Road at 1.30pm,” Redfearn says. “So I said: ‘Anyone who’s
coming, get on the bus.’ To his credit, Gaetano Berardi – another of
the signings from Italy – came with us, and you could see he went
right up in the other lads’ estimations.”
Afterwards Cellino denied any involvement, saying: “Perhaps they
think they are doing something nice for me, but they are wrong.”
Cellino returned from his Football League ban shortly before the
final game of the 2014-15 season, at home to Rotherham. In an
interview with a national newspaper, he derided his manager as
‘weak’ and ‘a baby’, and claimed Redfearn had ‘disrespected’ him
by not attending his welcome back party. “What welcoming do?”
Redfearn now asks. “Nobody had told me.”
During the summer, it was left to the club’s new chief executive,
Adam Pearson, to tell the former midfielder what had long been
obvious: his services were no longer wanted.
“I had a meeting with him at the Mercure Hotel in Wetherby,”
Redfearn recalls. “He said: ‘You’ll come back on your new contract
as academy manager on July 1, and until June 30 you will be on
gardening leave.” A few days later Redfearn quit, saying his position
at the football club had become untenable.
It was a sad way to end seven years with the Yorkshire club he had
supported since he was a boy. But as the 51-year-old Redfearn sits in
the kitchen of his house in Pontefract, he denies feeling any bitterness.
After all, he had a win ratio of 39.2 per cent, and the best record of any
manager under Cellino – despite all the grenades thrown his way.
Instead there is sadness, about what could have been and about
the treatment of his partner, Lucy Ward, who was sacked as Leeds’
education and welfare officer before winning a case against the club
for unfair dismissal and sexual discrimination.
Not only has Redfearn left Leeds, but much of his legacy has gone
as well. The club philosophy he put together has been removed from
the academy website, and some of the stars he brought through have
left Elland Road as well. Byram signed for West Ham in January, before
19-year-old Cook – whom Redfearn tips as a future England captain –
joined the right-back in the Premier League, moving to Bournemouth.
Taylor has said that he wants to leave as well.
“Leeds is my club and I honestly believe that I could have made
them great again,” Redfearn reflects wistfully.
“If someone gets hold of that club, then wow – they could be big.
But that person isn’t Massimo Cellino, I’m afraid.”
FourFourTwo.com November 2016 81

In an era of mega-bucks TV deals and
huge international scouting networks,
many players still rise from semi-pro
football to the domestic game’s
summit. FFT investigates how it
remains a path well trodden
Words Chris Flanagan Illustrations Danny Allison
T
roy Deeney was drunk. And yet, this would be the day. He didn’t
know it at the time, and he certainly wasn’t prepared for it, but
this would be the day his rise to the Premier League began.
Deeney was playing for Chelmsley Town, his local non-league
side in the West Midlands. It was just another match – until the
weather intervened. The game that Walsall scout Mick Halsall
was planning to go and watch that day was postponed, so instead he
went to see his son’s team take on Chelmsley.
Despite taking to the field in a state of inebriation, Deeney scored
seven goals that afternoon in an 11-4 victory. Halsall immediately
offered the 17-year-old a trial – a trial that he still had to be dragged
out of bed to attend – and the rest is history. A decade later, the striker
is the captain of Premier League club Watford, and so valuable to the
Hornets that they reportedly rejected a £25 million bid for his services
from reigning champions Leicester this summer.
In a time when the financial gulf between the Premier League and the
rest is ever-widening, making it from non-league to the top flight seems
improbable. It goes against everything the academy system has been
set up to achieve. Yet it still happens, and with surprising regularity.

82 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com


When Sam Allardyce named his first England squad at the end of
August, four of the players he selected had risen from non-league.
Jamie Vardy, Chris Smalling and Joe Hart, who made his senior debut
in the Conference with Shrewsbury Town, were joined in the group by
West Ham’s Michail Antonio, formerly of Tooting & Mitcham United.
“I know loads of people who don’t appreciate being a footballer,”
Antonio tells FFT. “I appreciate every single moment of it. I didn’t go
through an academy, but I had the self-belief that I should be a pro
footballer. Now I’m here, no one’s telling me I’m not good enough.”
Antonio had been part of Fulham’s Football in the Community
scheme as a youngster, but was never signed up. Almost all of those
players who’ve gone from non-league to the top have a rejection story.
Often, you sense that the rejection is as important as the journey itself.
“I was an apprentice at Southampton but I was released,” Kevin
Phillips explains to FFT. “It was a big heartbreak. I wrote to virtually
every club in the country, asking for a trial. I only got three responses,
all of them negative. You almost feel then that your chance has gone.
“I had to go out into the big wide world, into non-league, but I kept
plugging away. I tried to be as disciplined as I possibly could, staying in
on a Friday night when my mates were going
out. It’s difficult when they’re knocking on
your door, saying: ‘You’ve had your chance in
football – come on, let’s go out’. But although
I only had a non-league game the next day,
I still believed that someone would be there
watching and would give me an opportunity.”
Phillips had been told by Southampton that
he was too small to be a striker, and he began
his non-league career as a right-back. Moving
into adult football with Baldock Town was
a challenge, but it was the making of him.
Others have learned from the more physical
nature of the semi-pro game as well, even if
they didn’t always appreciate it at the time.
Everton winger Yannick Bolasie tells a story of
a Rushden & Diamonds game at Altrincham
in which he tore the opposition to shreds but
had to be substituted at half-time for his own
nOn-LEAGUE TO
PREmIER LEAGUE
safety, as Altrincham had become so irritated
that they resorted to kicking lumps out of him.
It’s a tale that sounds familiar to Antonio.
“I played against men from an earlier age
than academy players do,” says the West Ham
man. “I remember one game, when I was 16:
I was the quickest on the pitch, I was running
down the left and there were three tackles
where I had to do hurdles. They didn’t go for
the ball – they went for my ankles. I managed
to cross the ball, we scored, and after that
someone stood on my toe. They aren’t nice
in non-league, but it makes you stronger.”
For Smalling, a sudden increase in strength
surprised everybody at Maidstone United,
where he progressed from the youth team to
the first XI after leaving Millwall’s academy.
“My first memory of him was in a Kent Cup
game,” recalls Smalling’s former Maidstone
FourFourTwo.com November 2016 83

boss, Lloyd Hume. “He was a tall and gangly
player who clearly had talent, but there were
a couple of other players in that youth team
who looked stronger and perhaps more ready.
When he came back for pre-season, though,
he’d gone in one summer from being a spindly
boy to being a man. We did a bleep test and
it got to the stage where we had to stop it
because he was on his own for some time.”
Smalling was still at school during his
Maidstone days. Fellow non-league graduate
Duncan Watmore combined his own duties at
Altrincham with life as a student, continuing
his course even after joining Sunderland
and gaining a first-class honours degree
in economics and business management.
Others had to find jobs. Charlie Austin was
a bricklayer, George Boyd worked in a sweet
shop, Ashley Williams helped on the hoopla
stall at Drayton Manor Theme Park and Craig
Dawson collected glasses down at the Dog
& Partridge pub, where he was persuaded to
join Radcliffe Borough by the club’s chairman,
son of comedian Bernard Manning.
Kevin Phillips remembers those days well.
“I was working 12-hour shifts in a warehouse,”
he tells FFT. “It was tough, but it was what
you had to do. I remember my first day as
a signed professional for Watford: we didn’t
have to start until 10.30am, which I couldn’t
believe, because normally I’d already done
84 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com
about three or four hours’ work by then.
Then when we finished at 12 or 12.30, the
lads started walking off the training ground
and I said to them, ‘Is that it? Are we finished?’
They said, ‘Yes, you’re free to go home now’.
I couldn’t believe it – I was used to having
another eight or nine hours’ work left! It was
surreal, but it was also a fantastic feeling.
“My theory now is this: when players come
into an academy, why not send them off to
a warehouse and let them work a 12-hour
shift – like kids who do work experience at
school – just so they can see how lucky they
are if they become a professional?”
Phillips, now assistant coach at Derby, turned
professional at 21. Examples in the mould of
Tony Book, who left non-league aged 30 and
captained Manchester City to the First Division
title four years later, are much rarer. Book’s
age was such a concern that Malcolm Allison,
who brought him into the Football League at
Plymouth before enticing him to Maine Road,
told the defender to doctor his birth certificate
to convince the Pilgrims’ chairman he was 28.
Rising through the leagues brings fame and
(relative) fortune, and the pitfalls associated
with both. Deeney recalls how he partied
excessively following a significant pay rise
upon joining Watford. Eventually he was
involved in a brawl outside a nightclub that
resulted in two and a half months in prison.
“ In nOn-LEAGUE, EVERY GAME
COUnTS. VARDY PLAYS AS IF
IT’S HIS DEBUT WHILE OTHER
PLAYERS THInK ‘WOE IS ME’”
Few people paid any attention when Andre Gray posted abhorrent
homophobia on Twitter during his time with Hinckley United, but the
same tweets became headline news when they were dug up within
minutes of his first Premier League goal for Burnley. Gray has stressed
that he’s a changed man since he broadcast those views in 2012. The
path from non-league to the Premier League cannot be trodden without
a willingness to learn – a quality that Smalling always had at Maidstone.
“Chris isn’t Rio Ferdinand on the ball, but at non-league level he was,”
says Hume. “He was casual and confident. But there was one game
when he got kicked and we nearly conceded, and he got a rollicking
from me at half-time. I was trying to explain, in no uncertain terms,
that there are times when you’ve just got to put your foot through it.
But you only had to tell Chris once. He was always willing to take
on board anything that anybody said to him.”
Smalling’s career path is very unusual in that he jumped straight from
the Isthmian League to the Premier League, moving from Maidstone
to Fulham. Hume says that Chelsea looked at him, too, but didn’t offer
the defender a long-term contract because they were convinced they

already had the next big thing in Michael
Mancienne (now at Nottingham Forest).
Most players progress step by step. For
example, 25-year-old midfielder Sam Clucas
entered the Premier League this term having
played in the Championship with Hull last
season, in League One with Chesterfield
the year before that, in League Two with
Mansfield the year before that, and in
the Conference with Hereford in 2012-13.
Clucas, like Derby’s ex-Watford wing-back
Ikechi Anya, went from non-league to the
top flight after spending some time with the
Glenn Hoddle Academy in Spain, which was
set up to provide a second chance to players
released as youngsters. Clucas had been on
Leicester City’s books before he was cleaning
tables in a Debenhams café.
Phillips says that the hard times make
one’s days in the top tier all the sweeter,
particularly as he won the European Golden
Shoe in his first year in the Premier League,
netting 30 times for Sunderland.
“It was only four and a bit years from
working in a warehouse to playing my first
Premier League game,” adds the 43-year-old.
“I’m immensely proud to have been awarded
the Golden Boot, coming from non-league –
and I’m still the only English player to have
won it. When I see Jamie Vardy, I know what
he’s experiencing. I know how great it feels.”
Phillips was Vardy’s team-mate at Leicester
when the Foxes were promoted to the Premier
League, before working as the club’s assistant
coach in their first season back in the top flight.
“How was he to deal with? Sometimes it
was a nightmare!” Phillips laughs. “Jamie’s
a lively character and he’s never short of
a word or two. He’s full of life, but that makes
it easier for you, as you don’t have to gee him
up and get him going. The hunger is there.
“People tell me that when he first signed
from Fleetwood, he found it difficult to settle
and had one or two issues off the field. When
you come from non-league now, the spotlight
is more intense than when I came through.
But I think he has learned an awful lot.”
That element of non-league rawness Vardy
still possesses is something Antonio has, too.
The winger believes it gives him an edge.
“My style of play is different to how a lot of
people in academies play,” he says. “No one
runs at players like I do, or gets to the back
stick and then overpowers a defender. There’s
a wealth of talent at non-league level. I know
players who didn’t make it and I can’t believe
that they didn’t. They had ability that could
have easily been coached into something.
You just have to be willing to take the risk.”
Dario Gradi, a man renowned for unearthing
some of England’s finest talents during his 33
years with Crewe, agrees. “There’s probably
nOn-LEAGUE TO
PREmIER LEAGUE
a lot of decent lads in non-league now,” he tells FFT, “because the
number of foreigners means that the English boys are getting pushed
further down the system. We tried to sign Vardy from Halifax, but they
wanted £100,000.” In hindsight, Crewe presumably wish they’d paid it.
“It’s going to be a really interesting situation now, with Brexit,” muses
agent Jon Smith, who represented Jermaine Beckford on his rise from
Wealdstone to Everton. “Are teams going to give more young English
players a chance, or will they still buy from abroad? Clubs are looking
for players who have the right profile and mental attributes, and
sometimes guys in the lower leagues fit the bill.”
The academy system should have spelt the end for non-league
players making it to the very top of the game. Instead, it’s one of
the biggest reasons why they continue to do so.
“If you go and watch an under-23 match, it’s almost a game of
keep-ball,” explains Lloyd Hume. “But when you’re playing down in
non-league, every game really counts. You watch Vardy playing for
England: he runs around as if it’s the first match he’s ever played,
because that’s how he has been taught to play. With other players
who have come through the system, if things don’t go their way
then their head drops and they think ‘woe is me’.”
Phillips adds: “You look at the academy system now and players
aren’t allowed to clean boots and clean the stands, the toilets and
showers like we used to – but all of that gives you a good grounding.
The big argument now is whether the under 23-league is really that
competitive. When these boys are asked to step up to the first team,
are they properly prepared? If you sign someone from non-league,
however, you’re getting a player who’s already played men’s football.
“I would like to see more players coming from non-league. There are
some out there who can make the jump. They just need an opportunity.”
An opportunity such as the one Troy Deeney was given 10 years ago.
Imagine how many goals he’d have scored that day if he’d been sober.
FourFourTwo.com November 2016 85
MiCK CLEGG
 ourFourTwo glances nervously over at a large
Alsatian stalking an olive-green industrial unit.
High-rise flats stand tall in the afternoon sky
and several tracksuit-clad teenagers circle
the surrounding neighbourhood on bikes.
It looks just like many of the other lifeless metal
containers that are littered across this working-class
corner of Greater Manchester, but stepping inside
it feels like walking through Narnia’s wardrobe
and into another dimension.
Large framed pictures hang from the breezeblock
walls. In one, Paul Scholes can be seen punching
a pair of boxing mitts; in another, Cristiano Ronaldo
performs sit-ups. Roy Keane, Ryan Giggs, David
Beckham and a host of other ex-Manchester United players also
provide decoration in these sparse surroundings.
Some pictures are signed, while others bear messages of thanks
to the owner of this little-known sanctum. “You gave me arms with
pull-ups – I had none before,” reads a personal ode from Michael
Carrick. One from Darren Fletcher says, cryptically, “I’ll never forget that
hockey game, ‘get off’.” There’s also a heartfelt note of appreciation
from former Red Devils midfielder Alan Smith for the help he received
during his battle to recover from a serious injury.
Pull-up bars, squat racks and weights are all in view, as are several
wooden gymnastic beams, agility ladders and hurdles. A topless
boxing dummy lurks in one corner, awaiting its next opponent.
FFT is inside EliteLab. This training facility is the second home of
Mick Clegg, the man responsible for sculpting Ronaldo’s chiseled
physique during the winger’s six years at Manchester United.
Clegg spent 11 years as United’s ‘power development coach’ between
2000 and 2011, but now works 15 hours a day, six days a week in this
bubbling cauldron of training excellence, working on a special project.
“I’m not working on mice – I’m working on live human beings,” Clegg
says with a smile and a glint in his eye, as he greets us with a cup of tea
by a small kitchenette. “I’m trying to create the next Cristiano Ronaldo.
“I worked with him from the age of 18 until he left aged 24. I now
work with players as young as five years old. Think how much more
progress we could make. There’s so much more potential.”
It sounds like a sinister plot hatched by a fictional mad scientist,
but Clegg is deadly serious. In 2010 he travelled to Canada and
met brain experts to try to understand the science behind the
Real Madrid man’s athletic and mental qualities.
“The most important thing in any sport is skill, but soon I realised
that after that it’s speed,” he explains. “Look at Ronaldo getting to
the ball first and scoring a goal, or a boxer dodging a punch and then
landing a knockout blow. You develop physical and mental speed by
training the brain. The brain controls everything.”
“I try to bring them to the gym once a week,”
Carlos says. “I want to give them every chance
of making it. The beauty of it is, they don’t see
it as training, because it’s a lot of fun here.”
The session begins with Enrique and Rafa
performing two exercises – deadlifts and
power cleans – using five kilograms of weight.
Two children of primary school age pumping
iron makes for an unusual sight – but not for
Clegg, who trained his four sons to perform
Olympic lifts from the age of six. Their early
physical education paid off, as Michael went
on to play for Manchester United’s first team
and Steven for the youth side, while Mark
became an international Olympic weightlifter
and Shaun represented Team GB in the same
discipline at the 2014 Commonwealth Games.
“It’s like building a house,” says Clegg Snr.
“You start by building a base of strength. When
Ronaldo joined United, he had that. He’d done
weights, swimming, and he used to run up the
stairs at football stadiums to get stronger.
“But he never lifted heavy, because we
wanted him to be lean and quick, not bulky.
We always worked with weights relative to
his bodyweight. He weighed about 76kg at
United and would bench press, squat and
deadlift that for sets of seven repetitions.”
Enrique and Rafa subsequently move on
to a reaction-training device. The D2 machine

The result of this newfound understanding was the creation of

a new training philosophy. Clegg has christened it the Seed of Speed,
and it combines traditional weight training and brain work, using
several cutting-edge pieces of technology.
He practises his methods on a growing stable of academy players
from Premier League and Football League clubs. We’ve been invited to
watch a training session with two of the youngest members of his gym.
Clegg’s subjects for the afternoon are eight-year-old Enrique Roca
Words Alec Fenn; Photography Gary Prior

and his brother, Rafa, who’s only six. FFT laughs as the pair arrive
sporting immaculate comb-overs held in place with wet-look gel.
The Ronaldo likeness in both is uncanny.
“Rafa loves Ronaldo, but Enrique’s favourite player is [Lionel] Messi,”
reveals the boys’ father, Carlos, a 32-year-old former professional
footballer who played for Oldham and Carlisle before drifting into the
semi-pro game, where he turned out over 200 times for FC United.
Enrique has been on the books at Manchester City since he was four.
Remarkably, Rafa was just three when he was spotted by the club. Both
boys train twice a week at the academy and play a game every Sunday.

88 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com


requires them to turn off as many lights as
possible in 60 seconds as they illuminate in
a random sequence on a large black screen.
Both kids record a score of 40.
“The idea is to switch between big and
intricate movements, as you would do out
on the pitch,” says Clegg. “Imagine Cristiano
sprinting down the wing and then throwing
a step-over. He used a very similar type of
machine to this after training sessions, in
order to improve his reactions.”
Next up is another flash-looking piece of
tech. Six circular discs called Fitlights are
lined up along the floor. They light up at
regular intervals and must be erased with
a swift swipe of the feet over the spheres.
“ ROnALDO WAS 18 WHEn I TRAInED HIM.
nOW I WORK WITH PLAYERS AS YOUnG
AS FIVE. THERE’S MUCH MORE POTEnTIAL”
“We’re trying to recreate a game situation,”
says Clegg. “Players are constantly faced with
tight spaces where they have to react quickly.
It might be playing a one-two, or it might be
pressing a player in possession. Ronaldo and
Scholes were brilliant at reaction work.”
In his plain white T-shirt, black shorts, white
socks and black pumps, Clegg bears a strong
resemblance to a high school PE teacher. He
barks instructions to the two boys and often
carries a large wooden stick – although he
insists it’s just a prop. “You need to develop
players emotionally and put them under
pressure to see how they respond,” he says,
having ordered Enrique to do five press-ups
for knocking over one of the lights.
“That’s why I loved Ronaldo – he worked
under such pressure. Imagine you have two
bosses at work and one is Alex Ferguson, the
other Roy Keane. They’re highly critical people
because they want to get the best out of you.
He got hammered every day by Fergie, Keane,
the supporters and the press. But on a Monday
morning at 9am he’d say, ‘Right, what are we
doing today?’ He was strong enough to say,
‘F**k that, negative emotions won’t beat me.’”
Thankfully, eight-year-old Enrique doesn’t
burst into tears. Instead, he moves on to his
next exercise: the bungee box. “Red, yellow,
black!” shouts Clegg, instructing his charge to
run and touch a series of coloured cones with
the side of his foot. Two ropes attached to
a harness wrapped around his waist provide
resistance, to train balance and acceleration.
MiCK CLEGG
“I’m working him hard physically, but then I’m testing him mentally,”
Clegg continues. “The more tired he gets, the tougher it is for him to
remember the sequence. Late on in a game, Ronaldo has to run, control
the ball and keep an eye on defenders and his team-mates – that’s a lot
of brain work. We have to test the brain’s ability to work when it’s tired.”
The intensity of the session relents briefly, as the big Alsatian we
encountered a little earlier enters the room and distracts Enrique and
Rafa. It’s a timely reminder that they’re just children. FFT is relieved
to hear that the canine is in fact ‘Rocky’, a mild-mannered pet who
last month wore a bow tie at Mick’s wedding.
Clegg uses the break to recall a tale about Ruud van Nistelrooy. “He
once told me that his concentration levels inside the 18-yard box were
so high, he would fall into an unconscious state during the split second
he hit a shot. He could score, sky it over the bar, get tackled – anything
– but he wouldn’t remember what happened. Then he would come back
to conscious reality. The concentration levels you need to get in that
zone are very, very high. Ronaldo understood that and learned from it.”
The last of Clegg’s brain-training gadgets is called the Neurotracker.
Enrique and Rafa are tasked with tracking four balls among a pack of
eight for six to eight seconds as they bounce across a screen. They then
have to pick out those four balls once they have stopped. “This trains
the boys to multi-task,” says Clegg. “During a match, there will be 22
players, a referee, the crowd and a white ball flying around at 100mph,
so players need to have brains that are capable of processing multiple
pieces of information at the same time.
“Park Ji-sung recorded the highest ever score on it, but Paul Scholes
was consistently the best. He had incredible peripheral vision and that
translated onto the pitch. He had a faster brain than other players did.”
The young brothers end the session by running through agility ladders
laid on the floor, then trying to curl a ball into a tractor tyre. Meanwhile,
FFT is eager to hear Clegg’s idea of what the next Ronaldo could look like.
“Designing a player like that takes a lot of thought,” he explains.
“Physically, you want them to be tall, low in bodyweight, but not too
strong, as you don’t want them to be overmuscled. More strength
means less speed. It’s a balancing act.
“Mentally, I want to develop a super-powered brain for athletic
performance. I want a brain that understands balance, concentration,
reactivity, agility – everything at once, at speed. I want to create a brain
that knows what to do under pressure.”
But how realistic is his dream of manufacturing this perfect being?
“I get a lot of lads who come in and say that they want to be the next
Ronaldo,” Clegg continues. “They say they’ll work as hard as him, but
in reality they’re looking for a magic exercise that will turn them into
him. There is no magic wand. Ronaldo’s secret was hard work and
variety. He was in the gym every day and trained intelligently for six
years. He observed what Keane, Scholes, Van Nistelrooy and Giggs
did, and then applied it to his own training.
“It’s all about finding the right person. I need someone like Cris who
will say: ‘Show me what I need to do – I’ll do all the work, but you tell
me what I need to do’. When I get one of them, the sky’s the limit.”
For now, the next Ronaldo remains an elusive ghost, but Clegg’s
philosophy is already having an impact. Last year he worked with
a 15-year-old called Thomas Sang who hadn’t kicked a ball in 18
months, following a series of injuries. After six months at the gym,
he was signed up by Manchester United.
As FFT prepares to head for the exit, Clegg adds: “I’ve trained my
sons, who have played sport to a high level, I’ve worked for United
for 11 years, I’ve worked with Cristiano, I’ve worked with the lads in
this gym – I know that what I do works.
“Who knows if I’ll find another Ronaldo? I’m in no rush. I’m 60 next
year, but I plan to work in this gym until I die. I have started delivering
lectures in Poland and Ireland to teach coaches how they can develop
the Seed of Speed. If I don’t do it, maybe someone else will get the
opportunity to create the next Cristiano.”
Something tells us he’ll beat them to it.
FourFourTwo.com November 2016 89
 ay
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THE STORY
BEHIND
THE SHOT

BIG SA M HITS THE BAR R E

There are more similarities between football and ballet than you
think. Both require spot-on co-ordination, the lightest of feet and
the ability to perform the perfect plié on demand. OK, maybe not
the last of those – but it didn’t stop Sam Allardyce (back, right)
and three of his Coventry City team-mates swapping their boots
for plimsoles for a bit of extra training in November 1983. If the
England gig doesn’t work out for Big Sam, perhaps Strictly awaits?
THE CAFE
In the 1950s, a greasy
spoon in the East End
helped to produce the
English game’s most
THAT
progressive coaches
and West Ham United’s
famous academy. Folks,
welcome to Cassettari’s…
CHANGED
FOOTBALL
Left to right: Jimmy Adams, Dave Sexton, Noel Cantwell,
Malcolm Allison, Phil Cassettari, John Bond,
92 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com
M
alcolm Allison looked
up from his plate of egg
and chips. He paused for
a second, then began
pointing his fork at his West
Ham team-mates – among them, Dave
Sexton, Frank O’Farrell and John Bond.
“We’re football revolutionaries,”
boasted West Ham’s skipper to the
gathered throng at Cafe Cassettari’s,
a greasy spoon just around the corner
from Upton Park. “And we’re going to
change football together.”
In their own way, they did. Without
Allison’s salt-and-pepper-pot theorising
on the Cassettari’s tabletops between
1951 and 1957, enthralled youngsters
Geoff Hurst, Bobby Moore and Harry
Redknapp would never have put the
Frank O’Farrell, Malcolm Musgrove
Hammers at the vanguard of youth
development in the 1960s and beyond.
It wasn’t just players, either. The vast
majority of Allison’s acolytes became
top-flight bosses renowned for their
tactical acumen, forward thinking and
willingness to assimilate new ideas.
The revolution began in 1951, when
strapping Charlton Athletic defender
Allison became Ted Fenton’s first signing
for the Second Division club and arrived
in the East End, much of which was still
a bombsite from the Second World War.
The headstrong 23-year-old was almost
immediately made captain and quickly
came to believe that the Hammers
were just wasting their time with short,
laissez-faire training sessions that took
place on a scrub of land behind the
ground, with players often sneaking
a crafty cigarette behind the trees.
Allison had ample opportunity while
on national service in Austria to observe
the training sessions put on for young
players in Vienna. He admired “the
purpose and knowledge demonstrated
by trainers”. Contrast to big-match
preparation back in Blighty was stark.
Allison vowed to alter the dogmatic
mindset around Upton Park. Given
carte blanche by the obliging Fenton,
he arranged post-training gatherings
at Cafe Cassettari’s on Barking Road,
where players would openly discuss
tactical formations, training methods
and fitness programmes among
themselves and with the coaches.
Inevitably, Allison dominated
proceedings. “He had the brashness
and the confidence,” recalled inside
forward Dave Sexton, who went on to
manage Manchester United. “Yet he
was also dedicated, and a very deep
thinker. His ability to assimilate ideas
from training sessions that he had
attended was second to none.”
England’s chastening 6-3 defeat
to Hungary at Wembley in November
1953 – their first reverse at home to
opposition from overseas – crystallised
Allison’s belief that the domestic game
was stuck in the Dark Ages.
Allison attended coaching sessions
at national training centre Lilleshall,
where the inventive routines of future
Inter boss Helenio Herrera – gleaned
mostly from army manuals – impressed
the studious young player. And soon an
evangelical Allison was using tea cups,
ketchup bottles, salt cellars and pepper
pots in Cassettari’s to illustrate his ideas
as he set out his vision for how West
Ham and English football could improve.
Pace and movement became the
watchwords. In training, Hammers
players began moving the ball around
AS CLUB CAPTAIN, ALLISON ARRANGED
POST-TRAINING GATHERINGS AT CAFE
CASSETTARI’S TO DISCUSS TECHNIQUES
in triangles. One- or two-touch play was
encouraged by six-on-six sessions. They
played head tennis. Allison, still captain,
worked individually with young players.
“Malcolm’s training sessions were
always varied,” said right-back John
Bond. “Players quickly became more
adept at playing with the ball, and it
became the West Ham style.” Players
used weights, and relentlessly practised
heading the ball. “Malcolm used to say
that you had a choice,” recalled Frank
O’Farrell, who infamously replaced Matt
Busby in the Old Trafford hot seat in
1971. “You could play snooker in the
afternoon or you could put in the extra
work and become a better footballer.”
There were cosmetic changes, too.
West Ham were one of the first sides to
sport lightweight boots and ditch heavy,
buttoned shirts for tighter V-necks.
Initially, Hammers fans were sceptical
about the new ‘continental’ playing
style, but success came in 1957-58
with the Division Two title, followed by
a highly respectable sixth-place finish
in the top flight. Though he didn’t play
in Division One following the removal of
a lung, having contracted tuberculosis,
Allison’s methods were vindicated. He
laid the foundations for West Ham and
England’s success during the 1960s.
“Malcolm taught me everything I ever
learned about football in two months,”
World Cup-winning captain Bobby
Moore later recalled. “I don’t think
anyone else at West Ham saw anything
special in me. I looked up to the man.
It’s not too strong to say I loved him.”
By the mid-1960s, Allison and his
original acolytes had flown the Upton
Park nest and were making their way in
football management. As Joe Mercer’s
assistant at Manchester City, Allison’s
tactical nous ushered in a trophy-laden
period of success in the late ’60s and
early ’70s. City players paid homage
to Allison’s coaching style. Francis Lee
recalled: “His inventiveness, creativity
and method of communicating his
ideas was unparalleled.”
Meanwhile, O’Farrell rejuvenated
Leicester City with his newfound
attention to detail, taking them back
into the First Division and to the 1969
FA Cup Final – where they were beaten
by Allison’s Manchester City. Sexton, as
Bertie Mee’s first-team coach at Arsenal
during the late 1960s, laid the blueprint
for the Gunners’ 1971 Double triumph
by introducing pattern play as well as
shadow play. He occasionally travelled
with Allison to watch European teams
play, and led Chelsea to FA Cup and Cup
Winners’ Cup glory, as well as QPR to
within a whisker of the 1976 league title.
Elsewhere, John Bond guided Norwich
City to the 1975 League Cup Final.
To mark the rise of this flowering
group of young managers towards
the game’s summit in the late 1960s,
Allison, Sexton, O’Farrell, Bond and
more gathered for a photo opportunity
back at Cassettari’s Cafe while beaming
owner Phil brought them all cups of tea
(see main picture, opposite).
Manchester proved to be a graveyard,
however. Allison resigned from City
in 1973 after a disappointing spell as
manager in his own right and endured
a disastrous return in 1979, squandering
nearly £1.5 million – a British transfer
record – on Steve Daley, who laboured
at Maine Road. John Bond succeeded
his mentor in 1980 but fared little
better, resigning three years later with
the team listing towards relegation.
O’Farrell lasted just 18 months at
Old Trafford. Sacked in December 1972,
the cerebral manager “came and went
a stranger” according to Denis Law, as
a victim of both circumstance and his
own inexperience at the very top level.
Sexton, meanwhile, is perhaps best
remembered for the sterile football his
own Manchester United side played in
a trophyless spell between 1977 and
1981, even if he did later assist Terry
Venables with his Euro 96 preparations.
There were varying reasons for their
failures in Manchester. Allison was
partly derailed by his self-destructive
fedora-wearing, cigar-smoking ‘Big Mal’
persona, while O’Farrell felt undermined
by player power and Bond believed that
City chairman Peter Swales “refused to
accept his own failures”. Yet there’s also
one common strand to connect the
Cassettari’s Crew. They were arguably
better coaches than managers and
were unarguably frustrated by English
football’s anti-intellectualism, lack of
tactical understanding and inflexibility
of boardroom machinations.
“Many of the United players simply
weren’t receptive to any new ideas,”
reflected O’Farrell, and Allison himself
thundered: “I have been accused of
being far too theoretical for my own
good. I take that as a compliment.
“English players have got a closed
mindset, and only a minority truly
embrace fresh techniques.”
By the early ’80s, the Cassettari’s era
was effectively over, but those halcyon
Words Jon Spurling; Lead picture Mirrorpix
days of eggs, bacon and training talk
changed English football forever.
The building on Barking Road is now
a solicitor’s, but there’s a small corner
of West Ham’s new Olympic Stadium
home that will rekindle fond memories
for some people. There, you will find
a traditional eatery selling East End
grub. Its name? Cassettari’s Cafe.
FourFourTwo.com November 2016 93
 “Living in Italy is like being in a foreign country”
Ian Rush never really said these words – it was Kenny
Dalglish making a gag at the Welsh striker’s expense

Division Two champions (Derby) | 1914-15 FIFA World Cup winners (England) | 1966 Lancashire Combination champions (Preston) | 1896

THE ARCHIVE

MEDALS
It’s not only finals that merit
a memento – sometimes teams
are given one just for turning up
English Ladies’ FA Cup winners (Stoke) | 1922 Blackpool Hospital Cup runners-up | 1920s

Appe , 17-18 UEFA Cup Winners’ Cup champions | 1960s FA Cup winners (Manchester City) | 1934

Football League long service (Stan Cullis) | 1970 Northumberland Senior Cup winners | 1920s Sheriff of London Charity Shield winners | 1930s

Items supplied by the National Football Museum

Also courtesy of The Neville Evans Collection, Arsenal FC
94 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com and Paul Atkinson – www.nationalfootballmuseum.com
 WHAT
HAPPENED
TO

Tony
Yeboah
Woah! Yeboah?

LES CORTS
Yep, the Ghanaian
made a huge impact
in England – and on
several crossbars –
after arriving from
Eintracht Frankfurt
in 1995. At Leeds BARCELONA, SPAIN
he scored two of
the Premier League’s

O
greatest ever goals: n a brutalist apartment block at the “Celebrating many goals against Real a local choir team. “That was without
a thunderous volley intersection of Carrer de Numancia Madrid there in the middle of the Franco precedent,” says Angel Iturriaga Barco,
against Liverpool and and Travessera de les Corts, to the dictatorship, when you couldn’t really say a historian. “It showed that Barça had
a similar worldie at north-east of Barcelona’s tightly anything, was about so much more than stopped being merely a sports club and
Wimbledon that won packed city centre, an austere-looking football. It was the only bit of revenge had become a channel of civic expression.”

Words Lee Roden; Picture Arxiu FC Barcelona

Goal of the Season. plaque can be found. It reads: “This was Catalans could have after the civil war.” As for the most important thing on the
the location of Les Corts stadium between If Barça are ‘mes que un club’ then pitch, one name towers above the rest.
Did things go kaput May 1922 and February 1966.” Les Corts was key: club membership grew “Ladislao Kubala was the best player
at Leeds after that? Such a tiny reminder does little to six-fold in the 35 years Los Cules called it ever seen at Les Corts,” says Iturriaga.
Inevitably. Yeboah evoke memories of a unique ground that home until 1957 (it was demolished nine “The Hungarian forward was magic.”
won Leeds’ Player Barcelona fans recall with great affection. years later). It was also the site of arguably So much so, the crowds hungry to see
of the Year but his “Les Corts was a truly lovely, welcoming the Blaugrana’s most important political him soon outgrew the ground, and Barça
Yorkshire pud-inspired ground, with a really original and beautiful demonstration, when fans spontaneously had to speed up the construction of a new
fireworks fizzled out, stand,” remember Merce Portell and Pere booed the Spanish national anthem before home just down the road. You might have
as Howard Wilkinson Esteve, both regulars in the 1940s and ’50s. a 1925 friendly against Orfeon Catalan, heard of it. It’s called the Camp Nou.
was replaced as boss
by grim pragmatist
George Graham. Tony
returned to Germany
for four up-and-down B I Z A R R E H I S T O R Y O F. . . M A N C H E S T E R U N I T E D
seasons at Hamburg,
then went to Qatar.
A DOG’S LIFE G.O.A.T. GOAT KOPPING IT “OI, LADS…!” CELL MATES

So he quit in Qatar? United-haters: blame After Major retired, The Stretford End You thought Peter Back in 2003, Martin
As you do. He’s since a big hound. After Billy the Goat became faithful once had to Schmeichel was a bit Warburton offered
Bizarre history and Yeboah words Si Hawkins

used local nickname ‘Major’, the St Bernard club mascot. Fond of sing from the Kop. shouty? Legendary older brother Paul
Yegoala (geddit?) to mascot for Newton a tipple or two, Billy Banned from Old keeper Alex Stepney a vital stem-cell
open an eponymous Heath, went missing guzzled the champers Trafford at the start once bawled so hard transplant if he left
hotel and football in 1901, John Henry after the 1909 FA Cup of 1971-72 following efence, City’s fan club to
team. And he’s still Davies found him, Final win and died of trouble the previous ocated join United’s. “This is
royalty over here, kept him and then alcohol poisoning. campaign, United w. Now clearly torture,” said
too. Across England, became chairman, Billy’s (presumably beat Arsenal 3-1 at ’s what Paul. “And torture is
any goal that rockets launching the ‘MUFC’ pickled) head is now Anfield. Then it kicked all a bit banned under the
in off the underside rebrand a year later. in United’s museum. off outside. Obviously. outy. Human Rights Act.”
of the bar will forever
be called ‘a Yeboah.’

FourFourTwo.com November 2016 95

 THIS YEAR IN
WHITE-LINE S YN D R O ME
After Napoli’s 1-0 win at home to Bari in March,
Diego Maradona tests positive for cocaine and
is handed a 15-month suspension. He believes
the test to be part of “Italy’s vendetta” against The new Pele, failing lights and struggling
him, Argentina having eliminated the hosts ovaries – it all happened in the early ’90s
at Italia 90. He never plays for the club again.

TH E R E IS A L IG H T T H AT NEV ER G O ES O U T. . .
...but not at the Stade Velodrome, where the floodlights fail with two minutes remaining in the
second leg of the European Cup quarter-final between Marseille and Milan. Trailing to Chris
Waddle’s delicious volley, defending champions Milan appear to be holding out for the tie to
be replayed, as vice-president Adriano Galliani refuses to allow his players to finish the match.
UEFA give l’OM a 3-0 win and the Rossoneri a season-long ban from European competition.

HEIR NOT-S O-AP PA R E N T

Ghana win August’s Under-17 World Cup
(ahead of Argentina and hosts Italy, who
are captained by Juan Sebastian Veron SU G A R’ S PY RRH IC V ICT O R Y
and Alessandro Del Piero), leading Pele In partnership with Terry Venables, Alan Sugar
to declare of the Golden Ball winner: “Nii beats a bid from media tycoon Robert Maxwell
Words Nige Tassell

Lamptey is my natural successor.” The to buy £20 million-in-debt Spurs. They begin
Anderlecht starlet’s subsequent career of an ungracious power struggle, culminating,
club-hopping suggests not. A Coventry two years later, in El Tel’s sacking. Sugar calls
City podcast is named after him, though. his Spurs affair “my single biggest mistake”.

96 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com

 G I G G S G E TS O FF T H E M A RK
WHAT ELSE
It might look as though Colin Hendry has muddled the ball into
his own net (he has), but a 17-year-old Ryan Giggs, making his
full Manchester United debut, is credited with the only goal in the
HAPPENED
IN '91?
Manchester derby – the first strike of a long Red Devils career.

The Royal Albert Hall hosts the first sumo

tournament ever held outside Japan
George Carey becomes new
Archbishop of Canterbury
First Iraq war begins
TREMORS

IRA bombings

Canary Wharf
is opened
JAN 17 FEB 18 APR 19 AUG 26 OCT 9

T H E RI C H T ER SCALE O F NE WS

Consecutive weeks at No.1 for

Bryan Adams’ (Everything I Do)
I Do It for You, from the film
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Years since
Bohemian
Rhapsody by
Queen had
charted, prior
to the death of
Freddie Mercury
K I N G KENNY QUITS Minutes spent on screen
by Anthony Hopkins in
Kenny Dalglish suddenly
Silence of the Lambs
leaves top-of-the-table
for his Best Actor Oscar
Liverpool in February, the
manager – then still only
39 years old – a victim of
guiding the club through
the painful aftermath of Nevermind Nirvana
the Hillsborough disaster.
“I was shattered,” he later
explains. “I needed to get
away from the pressure.”
TO P 3 A LB UMS

Bandwagonesque
Teenage Fanclub

“ TI ME , LA D I E S , P LEA SE”
In November, China hosts the first Women’s World Cup, Screamadelica
Primal Scream
although the introduction of this pioneering event is
slightly tempered by a rule dictating that each match
will last only 80 minutes. “They were afraid that our
ovaries were going to fall out if we played the full 90,”
smirks the USA’s winning captain April Heinrichs. Boom!

FourFourTwo.com November 2016 97

 ?
? ?
DID YOU KNOW? Falkirk (in 1922) and River Plate
(1932) are the only clubs outside England, Spain or
Italy to break the world transfer record. Och aye!

MATCH
THE REPORT
CLASSICS
The Soccer Arbroath 36
Syndrome 1 Bon Accord 0
John Moynihan’s
ode to the beautiful
Dundee
game neatly sums
Advertiser
up football in the Sept 15, 1885
’60s. It’s a brilliant,
grown-up book for “The fixture of these
the thinking fan. two clubs in the first

MOUSTACHES
round of the Scottish
Cup was played on
Saturday afternoon.
The weather was
2 unpleasant, and the
turnout of spectators
not particularly large.
Bon Accord kicked
off, and almost at
once the ball was in
their territory. A short
Newcastle
scrimmage sent the
1980-83 kit leather towards the
Barcode stripes have goal, and Crawford
long been on show administered the
at St James’ Park, but finishing kick. This
this incarnation, with 3 4 was the beginning
the Newcastle Brown of a one-sided game,
Ale blue star (and the defence play of
Kevin Keegan perm), Bon Accord unworthy
is simply majestic. of such a name.
Goal after goal was
soon notched, and at
half-time the score
stood: Arbroath 15
Bon Accord 0. Things
looked no brighter
for the visitors in the
5 6 7 second half, all the
action being in the

1 4
JOHN WARK IPSWICH TOWN BILLY HUGHES LEICESTER CITY vicinity of their posts,
Rummenigge As a UEFA Cup winner with Ipswich and film star Scotland one-cap wonder Hughes rocked some and when the whistle
Ever thought that in Escape to Victory, midfielder Wark commanded impressive ’70s face fuzz. ‘Robin Friday meets blew time, the game
ex-Bayern Munich respect... or he would’ve done if his moustache’s wispy Burt Reynolds’ is a surprisingly intimidating look. stood thus: Arbroath
forward Karl-Heinz tendrils hadn’t reminded people of cartoon dog Droopy. 36 Bon Accord 0.

5
Rummenigge had FRANS STRUIS EXCELSIOR In all, 40 goals were

2
“sexy knees”? Well, ARTUR JORGE BENFICA Few blond moustaches can match the one worn scored, but four were
novelty German folk The great Eagles striker and itinerant manager by 1960s Dutch midfielder Frans Struis (translation: disallowed for offside.
duo Alan and Denise fashioned the very definition of a soup-strainer – in ‘French ostrich’). It seemed to weigh down his face. The play of the Bon
did in 1983, singing, fact, the fish and salad courses were probably in there Accord team was

6
“Rummenigge, what as well. Part Tintin’s Thomson and Thompson, part RONALD SPELBOS AZ ALKMAAR most mediocre. It is
a man!” Weirdos. Tosh Lines from The Bill, it was entirely magnificent. He’s a maverick down-and-out detective, one day believed the score
from retirement, and he doesn’t play by the rules. piled up by Arbroath

3
ALBERT IREMONGER NOTTS COUNTY Or, he’s a 1980s Dutch defender who clearly lost a bet. is unequalled in the
We’re not saying the keeper definitely assassinated annals of football.”

7
Archduke Franz Ferdinand, but if the Edwardian BOB HOLMES PRESTON NORTH END
monobrow wasn’t villainous enough, his surname Including Victorians is basically cheating, but look This is still Scottish
was Iremonger. He monged ire. It’s a short step from at him. Holmes survived the longest of Preston’s senior football’s
arguing with refs (and he did) to starting a world war. Invincibles, which we put wholly down to that ’tache. heaviest defeat.

98 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com

FITNESS / NUTRITION / SKILLS / PSYCHOLOGY / GEAR / TACTICS
 PERFORMANCE

MASTERCLASS

PAULSCHOLES
THE
DETAILS

Scholes by
The Manchester United midfield legend numbers

on pinging passes and breaking the net

Paul, you were one of the best
passers of a football we’ve ever
seen – what was your secret?
Passing was something that came
naturally to me. Until the age of 18
I was a striker, but [former Manchester
United youth team coach] Eric Harrison
always thought I would be a central
midfielder. He saw something in my
passing and felt I could be a creative
player. I was lucky at United, because
Alex Ferguson would constantly tell me
to play the ball forwards. When I had
time on the ball, my first thought was
always to look for my two wide players
and my two strikers. The last resort
was a sideways or backwards pass.
Did you adjust your passing style
for different types of strikers?
Absolutely. I knew Andy Cole would
always be on the shoulder of the last
man. I didn’t even have to say anything;
it would just take a bit of eye contact
and then I’d play a through-ball or hit
a pass over the top. Ruud van Nistelrooy
was very similar to Cole in that sense:
I could dink it over the top and he’d be
away. But then you have players such
You ended your career as a holding
midfielder. How did you adapt?
I don’t normally like that term because
I think as a midfielder you should be
able to do everything. But positioning
is really important in that role. Rio
Ferdinand didn’t like me dropping
too deep to pick up the ball. He’d say
to me, ‘Go away, get out of my space’.
Communication with the two central
defenders is crucial – they’re the ones
pulling you about and telling you where
they want you. If they do that well,
they make everything easy for you.
You played as a No.10 for a season as
well. What’s the difference between
this role and playing in midfield?
When you’re further forward, you have
to be able to receive the ball in different
“I always looked
forward when
I had time on
the ball. Passing
as comfortable playing in that position.
I’d start to struggle if I found myself in
41 Age
a one-on-one situation with a defender
because I wasn’t that great a dribbler.
I preferred to play a one-two with
someone and beat a man that way. 168
Height in centimetres
So you weren’t blessed with great (around 5ft 6in)
pace as a footballer, and yet you
were rarely caught in possession.
Why do you think this was?
I think it was my awareness. Eric
Harrison would hammer that home.
1994Year of debut
He told me to have a glance over my
shoulder even if the ball was 50 yards
away. He said a central midfield player
should always know where he is on
a football pitch and have a picture in
18
Squad number at
his mind of where everyone else is. Manchester United
If you do this, you know where your
next pass is before you even get the
ball. When I picked up the ball on the
left wing, I knew David Beckham was
wide on the right, and without looking
66
England caps
I could turn and hit the ball over there.
I was never a great runner or a great
athlete, but my brain was always sharp.

A lot of your goals came through

14
England goals
as Teddy Sheringham and Dwight Yorke it sideways or powerful shots rather than carefully
who were No.10s, really – they were the backwards was placed finishes. Why was that?
players who could play one-twos and
little passes around the corner. I would
link up with them first and then look
the last resort”
A lot of my finishing came down to
in tinct – I don’t think I was a very
r when I had plenty of
90%
Pass completion in
to find the second centre-forward. me to think about a shot. 2010-11 Premier
would always go for League season
How important is courage on the positions and hav power. Whether it was
ball if you want to dictate play? awareness to play a header or a shot from
It’s huge. The big reason I retired the
first time, in 2011, was because I felt
that I had lost a lot of my bottle. If you
your back to goal.
lucky that I played
Ruud van Nistelro
e edge of the box, I’d
my foot through it and
that it went in the right
11
Premier League titles
Interview Alec Fenn; Performance editor Ben Welch

don’t have bottle, you won’t play for [right]: he was a g n. Sometimes there
Manchester United. You have to have centre-forward, gr a bit of guile behind
the balls to play and get on the ball.
I was playing safe passes and keeping
everything nice and easy. I wasn’t
at link-up play, an
I loved playing wi
him. I was never f
ould rarely attempt
finish. It just wasn’t
g I was good at doing.
2
Champions League
having any real benefit on the team – though I was OK winner’s medals
because I wasn’t doing the things I did over five yards – b : Out of Our League –
earlier in my career. I’d stopped taking when I was young y back to the heart of the
risks. Players such as Toni Kroos, Luka
Modric and Andrea Pirlo have the bottle
to get on the ball and then control the
I had the sharpne
to play that role.
As I got older,
Nicky Butt, Phil Neville,
ille, Ryan Giggs and Paul
s, is out now, published
3
FA Cup crowns
tempo of a game from start to finish. I didn’t feel BC Books (hardback £20)

FourFourTwo.com/Performance November 2016 101

 PERFORMANCE

LIKE A
1 2

PRO 3 4

Strength and conditioning

coach Nick Grantham hits
up Instagram to review
players’ training snaps

1
Kevin Prince-Boateng @prince09_
“The front lever is a great whole
body exercise,” says Grantham.
“Start by holding for 10 seconds
and then slowly build it up to 60.”

2
Robert Lewandowski @_rl9
“In football you need to be flexible
but also have strength and control.
Yoga is great for developing this area.”

3
Jack Wilshere @jackwilshere
“Chin-ups work your shoulders,
arms and back. Aim to be able to
do 10 in one set, then add weight.”

4
Marcelo @realmadrid
“Bosu Ball exercises are a bit of
a circus act. A single leg squat is
good during recovery from injury, but
it won’t develop strength or power.”

5
Patrice Evra @patrice.evra
“Every player will have a way of
recovering mentally from a game.
Meditation is an increasingly popular
form of relaxation among players.”

6
Kurt Zouma @kurtzouma
5 6
“The glute bridge is great for lower
hip stability. Aim to hold it for 60 7 8
seconds. To add difficulty, use one leg.”

7
Sergio Aguero @aguerosergiokun16
“Football players need to be very
strong, but also extremely powerful
in a short period of time. Box jumps are
a really good way of training for this.”

8
Lukas Podolski @poldi_official
“Podolski seems to be doing a bit
of a hybrid movement here: half
deadlift, half squat, and driving up and
backwards. I wouldn’t encourage this!”

102
0 FFebruary
r ar 2016
2 16 F
FourFourTwo.com
rF u Tw m
102 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com
 PERFORMANCE

T R I E D AND T E S T E D

VBarnsley
ASSAULT BIKE
We clamber on board to blow away the cardio cobwebs with a serious workout
First John Stones,
now Mason Holgate What is it?
– we want to know A heavy-duty exercise bike that
what they feed their provides a full body cardio workout.
young defenders. The user has to pedal the wheels
while simultaneously pushing the
VBoxfit handlebars forwards and backwards.
A fast-growing fitness
craze, it’s a fun way How does it work?
to get in shape – and The bike adapts to the intensity of
a real stress-buster. your workout. The harder you push
and pedal, the greater the resistance
VQuinoa produced by the bike, which soon gets
This South American the heart racing and muscles burning.
source of carbs is
packed with protein Who uses it?
and won’t leave you Footballers use it as a conditioning
with love handles. tool to help them get back into shape
during pre-season, and it’s also proved
a popular piece of equipment among
Team GB’s Olympic boxers, basketball

HERO teams, pro cyclists and sprinters.

TO Why are they using it?

ZERO The bike is ideal for high-intensity
interval training. Footballers often do
a 20-second period of work followed
by a 10-second period of rest, lasting
three minutes in total, to raise their
WHashtag heart rate close to its maximum and
philosophers mirror the demands of a match.
Apparently a modern
man’s workout isn’t How much does it cost?
complete without If you’re looking for a new signing for

Words Alec Fenn

telling Twitter how your garage gym, the assault bike will
they #eatclean and set you back in the region of £1,000.
#traindirty. Yawn. It’s expensive, sure, but you can’t put
a price on a really good workout.
WSnapbacks
They’re the latest
sartorial favourite
among gym posers.
Who knew sunstroke
THE PERFORMANCE MATRIX
was such a risk inside Which of these colourful bobs represents the best value for money?
a local leisure centre?
£500

WThe dab
Remember when
goal celebrations
were a spontaneous,
COST OF BARNET

unrehearsed display
of emotion? Take
note, Jesse Lingard POGBA
RAMSEY
and Paul Pogba.
MESSI

NAINGGOLAN
£0

FELLAINI

Gervinho LOWLIGHTS TO HIGHLIGHTS Valderrama

FourFourTwo.com/Performance November 2016 103

 PERFORMANCE

SALMON can extract every single ounce of

Vitamin boost
Its bright and healthy complexion
means there’s no surprise in hearing
that salmon is brimming with benefits.
Just 200g will give you more than
your recommended daily allowance
of vitamins B6 and B12, which help
your body to release energy from
the other foods you eat, so that you
goodness from your diet to fuel your
performance. Scientists even believe
that eating this ocean-dweller could
have big mental health advantages.
Researchers at Ohio State University
found that 2.5g of omega-3 – that’s
around 12-15 ounces of salmon –
eased symptoms of anxiety by some
20 per cent. You won’t worry about
that goal drought of yours ever again.

1 “In a 100g portion of

salmon there is 20g
of protein, making it
2 “You’ll find roughly
200 calories within
a typical serving, which is
3 “Salmon is perfect
recovery food after
training sessions because
a great muscle-builder,” only about eight per cent of its anti-inflammatory
explains nutritionist of your recommended properties, which help to
Jo Scott-Dalgleish. daily calorie allowance.” reduce muscle soreness.”

VS
It’s a seafood derby this month as two
protein-packed fishes go head-to-head
for nutritional supremacy. If only Andre
Marriner had been available to referee...

TUNA of protein in a 160g serving – that’s

Protein punch
It’s becoming fashionable following
a workout to shake your protein flask
like a cocktail waitress making a dry
martini in a James Bond movie, but
did you know that there’s a cheaper,
natural alternative? Your 54p tin of
Asda Smart Price tuna won’t exactly
scream ‘gym hipster’, but remember
that you will get a whopping 40g
more than you will get from two
scoops of whey protein picked up
in a bodybuilding shop. This makes
tuna the perfect fuel to repair your
muscles after a match, or to give
you Roberto Carlos-sized thighs after
a leg session at the gym. And one
more thing: the American Heart
Association claims that two portions
of tuna per week can help to improve
heart health. So what’s not to like?

1 “There’s 6g of fat in
every 100g of tuna
compared to 13g in the
2 “If you’re eating
tuna, make sure
that you eat the fresh
3 “I’d recommend
eating tuna on
a day-to-day basis, but
same amount of salmon, variety, as the tinned to maximize recovery
making it a leaner fish,” version will contain after both training and
says Scott-Dalgleish. far less omega-3.” games, pick salmon.”

AND OUR WINNER IS... SALMON

104 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com/Performance








 
   

 PERFORMANCE

L ABOARD
YOU AS
“How can I end my
goal drought?”
Ryan Dodd
via Twitter
tt

HE
ANSWERS
FLIGHT FOOTBALL Soon clubs will travel on jets equipped with mini-gyms
and hi-tech gizmos that monitor your mind and body
If the average Sunday League team Russian plane-maker Sukhoi has
can somehow manage to scrape unveiled a prototype of the SportJet,
together enough shrapnel to jet off a purpose-built aircraft for sports
on a summer tour, they have to settle teams. It includes various cutting-edge
for cattle class on a budget airline. gadgets designed to aid performance.
But the world’s biggest football clubs “In elite sports, where fractions of
don’t travel on easyJet. In fact, before seconds and inches are of decisive
long, first class on British Airways won’t importance, every detail matters in
be sufficient for the game’s star names. affecting the shape of the athlete,”
Gabriel Evgeny Andrachnikov, Sukhoi’s senior
Barbosa vice-president, tells FourFourTwo.
Inter Milan and The plane is split into two halves: one
Brazil striker prepares players for their next match
and the other helps them to recover
“Just remember: the from the previous one. There’s even
best players in the a coaching zone and admin area so
world have faced that managers can plot their next
tough moments, tactical masterpiece at 10,000ft.
too. Football works Wearable tech built into SMART
in cycles – no player chairs monitors players’ hydration,
has been prolific for stress levels and heart rate, while
his whole career. If special software inside a diagnostic
you’ve struggled, it’s capsule sends recommendations
probably just down to individual players’ smartphones
to some bad luck. Be regarding their physical state.
humble enough to And that’s not all. Physiotherapy
accept the dry spell, treatments are also available, such as
and work hard to cryotherapy and myostimulation, and
end it quickly. Believe players can chill out with a rub-down
Interview Felipe Rocha

in your strengths – on a massage table – or, if they need

you don’t lose your a quick endorphin hit, go for a spin

Words Paul Sillers

ability to put the ball on the plane’s on-board exercise bike.
in the net overnight. Sounds great. One question, though:
Don’t give up, got it?” will we still be able to get a can of the
cold stuff from the refreshments trolley?

THE
ESSENTIALS
JACKETS
Stay dry during autumn
showers and look the
part with slick outerwear

ADIDAS UNDER ARMOUR NEW BALANCE

TIRO 15 STADIUM JACKET
Waterproof? Check. Understated?
Check. Good value? Check. It’s time
to raid that piggy bank of yours.
Cost £50 Buy www.prodirectsoccer.com
SPORTSTYLE ANORAK
This lightweight bit of kit has a fuller fit
for more comfort, and repels water
without sacrificing breathability.
Cost £60 Buy www.underarmour.co.uk
PRECISION RUN JACKET
Laser-perforated venting will prevent
overheating, while the blue and cherry
colour will bring out your eyes. Honest.
Cost £130 Buy www.newbalance.co.uk

FourFourTwo.com/Performance November 2016 107

 PERFORMANCE

IF YOU'RE
GOING TO
DO ONE
THING…

Lift light
There are few things better for
the male ego than throwing your
bodyweight in metal around a gym
for 10 vein-popping reps, before
admiring your taut muscles in the
mirror. Don’t pretend it’s just us...
But what if we’ve been getting
this whole muscle-building thing
all wrong? What if lifting lighter
weights has always been just as
effective as hauling dumbbells
the size of small children?
Stuart Phillips, a professor of
kinesiology at McMaster University
in Ontario, Canada, conducted
a study in which one group of
men performed a series of
exercises using light resistance
for 25 reps, while another did
the same exercises but with
heavy weights for 10 reps.
The results showed both groups
made near-identical improvements
in muscle size and strength, which,
according to Phillips, could be great
news for your displays on the pitch.
“Some people are intimidated
Words Alec Fenn; Illustration Alex Williamson

by lifting heavy weights,” he said.

“These findings may make people
feel more comfortable about
commencing a weight training
programme. We’re also looking
into whether lifting lighter weights
could help to prevent injuries.”
So, if you’re a Sunday League
sicknote or built like a teenage
Luke Chadwick, you may now
have the answer to your problem.

108 November 2016 FourFourTwo.com/Performance






 


  

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 GIAnLUCA ZAMBROTTA
The Italian full-back played with so many greats at Juventus, Barça
and Milan, he picks only four of his World Cup-winning team-mates

GIGI BUFFON
“Gigi is the best goalkeeper
in the world for sure, at
least in the last 40 years.
We played together for Italy, of course,
and the most incredible save I ever
witnessed him make was in the World
Cup final against France in 2006. With
the score level at 1-1 during extra-time,
Zinedine Zidane powered a header for
an almost certain goal – but Gigi got up
to it brilliantly and athletically touched
the ball over the crossbar. It was really
amazing, even by his high standards.”

XAVI
“In my very first training
session with Barcelona
after I arrived in 2006,
I kept trying to take the ball from Xavi,
but it was impossible. They had just
won back-to-back league titles, and
I could see very quickly that he and
Andres Iniesta had the potential to be
the best midfielders in the world. They
continued to grow as individuals and
as a pairing during my two years at the
Camp Nou. That whole team matured
together and just got better and better.”

ZINEDINE ZIDANE
“I played with Zizou for
two years at Juventus and
I was fortunate enough to
share a room with him for some of that
time. Zidane’s great power wasn’t just
to bring the ball under control, but to do
so in an amazing way. He had a perfect
style. I remember one Serie A match
erview Paul Wilkes

against Bologna: after the game, the

opposition supporters applauded him.
Both sets of fans gave him a standing
ovation, as the whole stadium united
to celebrate his terrific performance.”

THE GAFFER THE SUBS

MARCELLO LIPPI
“He was the manager when I arrived at Juventus
n 1999. I also won the World Cup with him as our
coach, so I have a very special feeling towards him.”
01 ANDREA
PIRLO
02 ALESSANDRO
DEL PIERO
03 SAMUEL
ETO’O

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