The Powerful Influence of
a Father
By: Doug Turney
Fathers have great power to shape the emo-
tional, psychological and spiritual health of their chil-
dren. A recent Reader's Digest article called "Life
without Father" shared some informing words on the
lasting influence of a father on the lives of his chil-
dren. The article explained, "In the early years more
than two-thirds of all children prefer to play with their
fathers. Playing with a father is very important in
teaching children the importance of self-control. . .
Children who roughhouse with their fathers quickly
learn that biting, kicking and other forms of physical
violence are not acceptable. . . Several studies have
found that a father's presence is one of the deter-
miners of girls' proficiency in mathematics. An aston-
ishing 26-year study found that the most important
childhood factor in developing empathy was the fa-
ther's involvement in child care!"
Are you surprised that a father has such a
powerful influence? God's Word has told us of a fa-
ther's powerful influence long before our modern
sociological psychological studies. "Sons are a herit-
age from the LORD, children a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born
in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is
full of them. . . " (Psalm 127:4-5, NIV).
The Lord has given fathers the power to
make a tremendous impact on their children. Fa-
thers can use their powerful influence to either build
or destroy their child's life. So dads, are you merely
putting food on the table or are you participating in
the shaping of your child's life?
My Father, My Hero
-Nugrohojati
First and foremost, he taught me about hard
work. Before retiring, he used to teach at elementary
schools. With a family consisting of seven children and a
housewife, you can imagine how hard his life could be.
Nonetheless, he could successfully raise all of his
children. I recall very well these bitter but sweet memories
during 1987-1990, when he must fund all of his seven
children’s school fees at the same time. Simply put, he
managed to send each of us to school until all of us
graduated from university.
Another inspiration for me is that my father is a
living proof of a person who achieved his life goals
through what so-called “the biggest investment is
education”. Born in a poor family, he was abandoned by
his parents, who never thought that it was important to
give their children a chance to go to school. My father, at
a very young age, gradually learned that the only way to
get out of poverty is to have a good education. He then
worked as a shepherd in order to collect money to fund
his education. Sometimes he also made Javanese
puppets and cricket cages to get more earnings. With his
perseverance, he then graduated from a teacher’s
college. Holding a teaching certificate made him able to
educate other people—some probably had a similar
difficult situation like his own. Looking back upon his life
experience, it motivated me to always do my best.
Last but not least, despite his firmness, he is
actually very kind. To tell you the truth, sometimes we can
get into a lot of arguments. However, it doesn’t mean that
those disagreements are not constructive.What I admire
the most from him is his honesty, rationalism, and
gentleness.
In brief, I have learned a great deal of my father’s
precious life values. Indeed, these values are not
ephemeral to me. They linger deep in my heart and soul.
Thinking all of his positive legacies, I will say that I am
very proud to be his son. Most of all, my father is a hero of
my life.
 BEING A GOOD FATHER
1.) Make yourself responsible for all present and
future well-being of your child from the day he/she
is born and do it with a glad heart. A father should
not bear any grudges or misgivings as to the sex, the
color of the skin, or any other trait of his child - whether
own or adopted. If a father has any such doubts in his
mind, he is immediately and naturally deprived of the
capacity to be a good father.
2.) You do not necessarily have to fulfill each and
every whim of the child. Instead, select the best of
everything that will genuinely benefit the child while not
burning your pockets.
3.) Be consistently and constantly committed to
the present and future well-being of your child. A
good father must be willing to make sacrifices for his
child's sake. If the child will benefit from staying away
from home for educational or other purposes, the fa-
ther has a natural capacity to bear separation. And he
must employ it to good use. When not separated, his
time, his ear, his patience, and his advice are some of
the most valuable expendables that he can spend for
his child. He must not ever be unwilling to spend the-
se.
4.) Show and receive trust. The best measure of be-
ing a good father is reflected in the trust invested natu-
rally in him by his child. Therefore, it is of critical im-
portance that a father never betrays his child's trust in
him.
5.) Be a guide not a best friend. The child is not your
partner. Your child needs you to provide not only food,
toys, medicines, and so on. Your child needs you to
pass on your accumulated wisdom, your strengths,
and your goodwill. These will pass on naturally, you
only need to intend them to.
6.) Feel free to make positive inferences from all of
the above. Remember, you can be whatever you want
to be if you only intend genuinely.
Source: WikiHow.com
How to Be a Good Husband
1.) "Trust your wife and then actually do so." Re-
member, she is and will be in charge of some of the
most important fronts in your life. It would not do to
have it any otherwise.
2.) "Love your wife". It is equally important to be able
to actually love her for being all that she is unto you.
You, her husband, are no more of an individual (nor no
less, as well) than her. This means that you cannot
give either more or less importance to your own indi-
viduality than you would give to hers. If you have been
doing so without realizing it, now is always the time to
stop. If she is given to servility, it becomes your duty
automatically to point it out to her and ask her to stop
being servile.
3.)"Talk openly". When you happen to doubt her in-
tegrity, as will happen between any two persons stay-
ing together in any given environment for a time, it is
most important that you have a heart-to-heart talk with
her on the matter and sort things out at the earliest.
4.)"Take heed of her sacrifices for the relation-
ship." While she might make sacrifices, in an effort to
'adjust,' it is up to you to ensure that she makes none
that you do not share in or know of. If you only know of
any sacrifices she has made, it is up to you to recipro-
cate and make it worth her effort. How you do it is en-
tirely up to you, but do it you must.
5.) "Provide if that is a role you have chosen". If
you are the provider in the family, you must, naturally,
'provide'. It is your primary duty and is no obligation to
those for whom you provide.
6.) Think of ways to be more human, or even mag-
nanimous, if you like. The above tenets are by no
means the only ones that can be followed. However,
they are inserted here with some calculations that will
translate into a highly satisfactory married life if taken
seriously and lived up to.
Source: WikiHow.com