Antigen Encylopedia.

docx
by Cecilia Mejia

Submission date: 24-Feb-2020 07:36PM (UTC-0800)

Submission ID: 1263609721
File name: Antigen_Encylopedia.docx (2.24M)
Word count: 988
Character count: 5371
Don't forget your name! Two Successes: Some great explanations, especially of the different types of antigens! 2) Excellent use
of metaphor (lock and key) to adapt difficult information for a general audience! Two Challenges: 1) I don't see citations in the text
itself. You need to do some peer-reviewed research that will allow you to add some new information and build your
authoritativeness, 2) At the sentence level, be sure to proofread to catch small errors, and I've suggested some other sentence
help, below.

citation add

caption add

caption add

cells infected by...

very
clear!
 proofread, or read aloud, to catch small
errors.

Looks like you have more than one section about how the body handles antigens. That means you could have a
bigger heading (category) and smaller subheadings (like this one for vaccines & antigens).
 excellent
metaphor and
explanation
(but can you
maybe use
less jargon?)

misplaced
comma makes
a confusing
sentence ("As
stated, ...")
look up run-on sentences, comma splices (google to the
rescue!)
Need some kind of conclusion, maybe some latest
research?
Need peer reviewed sources
Oh boy! That doesn't usually work out very well. Be
sure to talk to apeer about your next paper!
Antigen Encylopedia.docx
ORIGINALITY REPORT

4 %
SIMILARITY INDEX
0%
INTERNET SOURCES
0%
PUBLICATIONS
4%
STUDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
Submitted to Green Hope High School
Student Paper 2%
2
Submitted to Torrey Pines High School
Student Paper 1%

Exclude quotes On Exclude matches < 4 words

Exclude bibliography On
Antigen Encylopedia.docx
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

82
PAGE 1
/100

Text Comment. Don't forget your name! Two Successes: Some great explanations, especially
of the different types of antigens! 2) Excellent use of metaphor (lock and key) to adapt difficult
information for a general audience! Two Challenges: 1) I don't see citations in the text itself. You
need to do some peer-reviewed research that will allow you to add some new information and build
your authoritativeness, 2) At the sentence level, be sure to proofread to catch small errors, and I've
suggested some other sentence help, below.

QM citation add
You need a citation here.

QM caption add
you need a caption to explain the relevance of this picture, figure, or illustration.

QM caption add
you need a caption to explain the relevance of this picture, figure, or illustration.

Text Comment. cells infected by...

Text Comment. very clear!

PAGE 2

Text Comment. proofread, or read aloud, to catch small errors.

Text Comment. Looks like you have more than one section about how the body handles
antigens. That means you could have a bigger heading (category) and smaller subheadings (like this
 one for vaccines & antigens).

PAGE 3

Text Comment. excellent metaphor and explanation (but can you maybe use less jargon?)

Text Comment. misplaced comma makes a confusing sentence ("As stated, ...")

Text Comment. look up run-on sentences, comma splices (google to the rescue!)

PAGE 4

Text Comment. Need some kind of conclusion, maybe some latest research?

PAGE 5

Text Comment. Need peer reviewed sources

PAGE 6

Text Comment. Oh boy! That doesn't usually work out very well. Be sure to talk to apeer about
your next paper!
RUBRIC: 363 DEFINITION RUBRIC

RHET. FOCUS Proficient

SLO #1: Write formally and informally, in-class and out-of-class, for a variety of audiences and purposes.

ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are often not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC language needs adjustment for the audience. Purpose (to define or term or concept)isn't
clear or achieved.

DEVELOPING Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes defining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to define or term or concept)
may be unclear at times, and it may not be achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT Shows attention to audience's needs, defining necessary terms and ideas and using
audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to define or term or concept) may be implied,
but it's clear and achieved.

ADVANCED Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, defining necessary terms and ideas
and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to define a term or concept) is clear
and achieved with style.

ETHIC RESRCH Absent or

Below Basic
SLO #2: Using the appropriate major’s customary citation style, ethically cite and communicate information from
a variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ABSENT OR BELOW Omits or uses incorrectly quotation marks and/or MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number
BASIC system) parenthetical citations and works cited list. Many citation errors. Does not cite
from a variety of discipline-appropriate sources. May be over-reliant on a single source.

DEVELOPING A few errors in quotation marks, MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)
parenthetical citations and works cited list. May cite superficially from sources. May be
over-reliant on a single source.

PROFICIENT Correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)
parenthetical citations and works cited list. May have 1-2 citation errors. Cites from a
variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ADVANCED Consistently and correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
(number system) in-text (parenthetical) and end-of-text (reference list) citations for all
sources, whether quoted directly or paraphrased. Cites from a variety of discipline-
appropriate sources. Never over-reliant on a single source.

PERS/SUPPORT Proficient
SLO #3: Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate carefully, objectively, and persuasively the relative
merits of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values.

ABSENT OR BELOW Fails to support claims with specific explanations, examples, etc.. Objectivity may be
BASIC lacking.
DEVELOPING Attempts to support claims with explanations, examples, etc., but specificity and/or
objectivity may be lacking.

PROFICIENT Usually supports the definition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specific explanations,
examples, etc.. Usually maintains objectivity.

ADVANCED Supports the definition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specific explanations,
examples, etc.. Maintains objectivity.

ORGANIZATION Proficient
SLO #4: Organize, focus, and communicate one’s thoughts clearly and effectively to address a rhetorical
situation.

ABSENT OR BELOW Organizational devices (one-sentence definition; introduction; logical partitioning; topic
BASIC sentences, headings, transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the prompt, or illogically
connected. Ps contain multiple topics or are disorganized.

DEVELOPING Organizational devices (one-sentence definition; introduction; logical partitioning; topic

sentences, headings, transitions) fit the prompt, but may be vague, too broad, or
inconsistenly or illogically linked. Ps may not be unified.

PROFICIENT Clear organizational devices (one-sentence definition; introduction; logical partitioning;

topic sentences, headings, transitions) fit the prompt and tie ideas and topics together
adequately. Ps are usually unified.

ADVANCED Clear, specific organizational devices (one-sentence definition; introduction; logical

partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) fit the prompt and tie ideas and topics
together logically and seamlessly. Paragraphs are unified.

LANG & DESIGN Developing

SLO # 5: Recognize, evaluate, and employ the features and contexts of language and design that express and
influence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural differences.

ABSENT OR BELOW Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Language may reflect a
BASIC gender or cultural bias or be too high or too low. Design may be unconventional and
ineffective.

DEVELOPING Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors often impede readability or otherwise
distract from meaning. Style may be either too high or too low. Language may occasionally
suggest a gender or cultural bias. Design may be inconventional or ineffective.

PROFICIENT Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are few and do not distract from meaning.
Middle-level-style. Language respects gender and cultural differences. Design is
conventional and effective.

ADVANCED Outstanding control of language, with middle-level style, including effective diction and
sentence variety. Language respects gender and cultural differences. Design is
conventional and effective.