REPORT TITLE - PEER EMNESHMENT DURING ADOLESENCE

I. BACKGROUND

It is a well known fact that we human beings, although we are trying to deny it as a result
of the globally colonizing thought of ‘self-centeredness’, are all socially tied and interdependent
creatures. Psychologists like Abraham Maslow gave credit to man’s need of social interactions in
their theories. One of these interrelations is the trustful connection between close social groups,
friendship among peers.

We must also agree on one more point. Adolescence (12-18 years of age, also known as
teenage) is the time of our life which is very important, since it is a transition period from
childhood to adulthood. It is a time of competence and friendship among peers. This creates peer
groups with some sort of unwritten rules to be led by and to shape the action of each member.
Those group norms differ as the characters and the reasons of the relationships do.

The word enmeshment means the act of interlocking or meshing. It can also be described
as a creation of networks, connections or relationships. Adolescent networks include parents,
friends, and romantic relationships. But our study focuses more on the networks with those that
can be regarded as peers, friends.

According to the developmental psychologist Erik Erikson (1902-1994) adolescence is a

time of identity versus role confusion. It is a stage of predefining the adulthood self by
identifying ones role in the society, or if mishandled that can create uncertainty in his/her identity
which in turn leads to confusion.

And the relationships with the peer groups play a great part during this time. Their roles
grow with age. They help develop social skills, try new activities, and provide with lots of
support and encouragement. Through their friends, adolescents figure out a lot about themselves
and who they are becoming. Adolescents who have trouble forming positive friendship
relationships are seen struggling hard in many areas of their life, such as having adjustment
problems.

On the other hand, friends aren’t always good influences. They

may isolate, tease, or bully each other. They may promote attitudes and behaviors that result in
failure and frustration. And they can put a lot of pressure on each other to be immaturely
sexually active, use drugs and participate in risky activities.

Since we have tried to emphasize that both adolescence social relationships are
unquestionably important parts of the human life we strongly believe that we have explained
why the idea motivated us to do a research on. Next, you will find the purpose of the study.

Although it is hard to control adolescence relationship characteristics, since there are

complex biological and psychological causes behind their behaviors, this research aims to at least

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have a little influence on their friendship choices and the quality of those relationships. We
would also like to help them understand that social relationships, if healthy, are very important.

Human beings are given the definition ‘social animals’. That is why it would be good to
give attention to how we develop our interrelations during our early ages. This study may also
help the elderly give adolescents enough freedom to connect with each other and advice them
about their friend choices.

II. STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM

We have classified the problems of peer enmeshment during adolescence into three as
follows:

1. Unnecessary and harmful control over the social life of adolescents by parents.

2. Loneliness and isolation from social life.

3. Negative influences of the peer enmeshment.

III. OBJECTIVES

The main objective of this study is to know more about the network created within
adolescent peers, by giving focus on both the negative and the positive side. This helps us give
solutions to some of those listed under the ‘statement of the problem.’

Adolescents benefit more from this study because they can use it as a source of advice to
solve problems regarding their social life. Parents and the elderly who care about teenagers
would also gain a lot from our study. This is all because we have the assumption that the degree
of influence of parents and the elderly on the socialization of their children may have positive
and negative effects on the lives of teenagers.

Our other assumption is that peer connections during adolescence are very essential in
our journey to self actualization since peer motivations help us know our own true identity. In
addition, it defines how able we will be to deal with the people that become part of our life until
we die, and life is unarguably full of dealing with others.

We also assume that the bullying, the negative influences like pressures to use drugs and
to have under aged sexual intercourse among peers may be causes of lifelong scars that would be
very hard to erase or heal. This might push the teenagers to a path of loneliness and anti social
behaviors, damage their mental health by sacrificing them to stress and, to a considerable degree,
shadow their future lives.

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 IV. METHODS AND PROCEDURE

1. DATA

Since we have listed out the problems that circle around the peer enmeshment and our
assumptions on how those problems may exist in real life the next step will be deciding
on how to collect data. We have planned to use two methods in the data gathering
process,

1. Preparing questionnaires to be filled out by adolescents of both sex and those

who have passed adolescence time is our first method of data collection. The
aim of the questionnaire would to find out the social interrelationship status of
the former and how their connection with friends during their adolescent times
affects the life of the latter. It would also help us know more about the effect
of the elderly and parents on the social relationship of teenagers, you will find
the questionnaire we use on the last part of the essay, the appendix. For a
better understandability of our questionnaire we will be using Amharic
language.
2. Our third and last data sources would be other researches and books that focus
on the friendship and social lives of adolescents. The reader of the research
will also find those sources in the appendix of this study.

2. FOCUS OF ANALYSIS

As we have tried to explain earlier our study is aimed to understand the causes of
the problems of adolescent enmeshment. Hence, there will not be much of a numerical
analysis but rather a qualitative one. We are not aiming to answer how many adolescents
are having problems of being a part of a peer group or how many of them are struggling
with the negative effects that their friends are trying to have on them. We are just trying
to understand if those assumptions of ours listed in our objectives section actually exist
and identify other causes of the problems.

Since we have the filled out questionnaires, the interviews and the sources of our
study, we believe we will have enough data that would help for our analysis and a
conclusion to our study.

V. PRESENTATION, ANALYSIS AND INERPRETATION OF DATA

We had a two sectioned questionnaire. The first to be filled out by those who are
between the ages of 12 and 18, adolescents, and the other to be filled by those who have passed
the age of adolescence (18+s). The questionnaires were prepared in order to be well sure that
those mentioned in the statement of problem actually exist in real life. The first questionnaire
was prepared in order to know the current adolescence situation, and the second one is to know

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how those who are beyond the age of adolescence express the effects their adolescent time
friends had on them.

Analysis of the questionnaire for adolescents

We had 17 questionnaires filled by adolescents of different years. 13 of them were female

and 4 of them were male.

1. What we asked first in this questionnaire was how they would describe the character of
the friendships they have with their peers at school and living areas. 7 of the females and 1 of the
males that filled out the questionnaire said that they have a little number of friends and with
loose connections. Reasons they gave for their answer can be summarized as follows,

- Differences in character with the other adolescents

- Fear of the negative influences of friends
- One of the females said she has a few number of friends but she has a tight
connection to them and this was because she is used to them and is unable to trust any
more friends

3 of the females and 3 males said that they have a moderate amount of friends. Their
reasons were that, some of the peers they meet have characters of being materialistic than real
being a part of a friendship and just because they think it is wise not to have too many friends.

3 females said that they have a very large number of friends. The reasons they gave can
be summarized as; knowing the characters of many people around helps to know the trustworthy
ones and they have had a significant amount of positive influences from their friends.

* This question was part of the questionnaire with the intention of knowing the quantities of
friends adolescents choose to have these days and their reasons behind, and also as a
commencing information provider for the questions to come. Some of the reasons they provided
for their answers made us understand that negative effects the other peers try to impose have a
great deal of concern in the friendship choices of adolescents. In addition, none of those who
filled out the questionnaire are out of friends. This implies that loneliness is not a good choice of
survival for adolescents.

2. Our second question was how the adolescents describe the effects their friends tried to
have on them. The intention of this question was to have information on our third statement of
problem, the negative effects of peer enmeshment.

9 of the female subjects and 3 of the males answered the question saying that their friends
are well focused on their education for themselves and also helped them study. 1 of the male
subjects marked on the responses; “my friends push me to spend my time on activities other than
studying” and “my friends try to force me do drugs and have sex than healthy places”. 2 female
subjects also tried to explain that they have two kinds of friends; those who try to influence them

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into studying and those who push them to spend their time in the activities other than learning. 1
female subject pointed that her friends push her to spend her time on activities other than
studying. And 1 female subject wrote that they don’t influence her at all, they live their own
lives.

* Education is a life developing activity that is common to most of Ethiopian adolescents. It can
also be a great aid in their search for their own identity. That is why we wanted to see the
influences of peer enmeshment against attentions to school and studies. Although most of our
study subjects are said to have friends that lead them in the positive path of studying and
focusing well on their education, we strongly believe it is still possible to prove that our third
statement of problems exists according to the answers of the remaining students.

3. On our first statement of problem it is said that parents may have a negative influence
on the friendship lives of their adolescent sons and daughters. We based our third question on
this assumption. We asked how they would describe the degree of influence their parents have on
their relationships with their peer groups.

11 female subjects and 3 male subjects pointed that their parents have enough influences
based on discussions. 1 male and 1 female marked on that their parents never allow them to
spend times with friends. 1 female subject wrote that her parents don’t often allow her to be with
her friends.

* Since most adolescents are students and still dependent on their parents, what the parents tell
them to do or not to do would have a great deal of influence on their daily lives. Most of our
questionnaire responses show that our subjects have parents with a positive influence on their
relationship with their friends, and that is ‘enough influences based on discussions’. According
to the answers, here are no parents that give their sons and daughters unlimited freedom on their
relationship with their friends, which is a good thing. Although it is to a very limited number, we
have seen there are parents that never allow their children to meet with friends, and that proves
the first statement of problem exists.

4. Our fourth question in the first questionnaire is to have an understanding about how the
subjects try to block out the negative influences that their peer groups try to exert upon them. We
believed this would allow us to provide solutions for those stated in the statement of problem.
Below is the summary of their resisting methods.

 Listening to and applying the advises of parents, teachers and the elderly in order
to stay away from negative peer pressures,
 Always remembering what their goals are, and being strong and resistant enough
to negative influences from friends,
 Trying to discuss with their peers and have a positive influence of their own,
 Staying away from friends that can possibly have bad effects on them,

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  Being obedient to their own decisions all the time
 Just by saying NO! to those who try to cause them do those unaccepted activities
 Giving attention to what needs attention, focusing on education than other
activities

Analysis of the questionnaire for those beyond the adolescent age

This questionnaire is prepared with the thought that maturity raises with age, and those
who passed this age can be good subjects to know how pear enmeshment affected them during
that age, they might also give us mature thoughts about friendship during adolescence.

6 male and 7 female subjects, a total of 13, have been willing to feel out this
questionnaire the good news about these subjects was that there is no huge gap between the
number of males and females.

1. Our first question in this section was – “how many friends did you have during the
adolescence age? Why? How did this quantity of friends affect you?”

1 male respondent and 5 female respondents marked on the option, ‘little number of
friends’. The reasons they gave can be summarized as follows:

- They don’t believe it is wise to have to many friends

- Passiveness
- They had lots of work waiting for them at home so they don’t have time for their
friends
- They found little number of students with a character that goes along with their own

The effects that this quantity of friends had on them can be summarized as follows:

- It lowered their sociability and it limited the diversity of life skills they got from
others.
- Since they don’t have many friends, whenever they fought with them they felt really
lonely

5 male subjects marked on the option, ‘lots of friends’. Their reasons were:

- Having a good social skill

- Changing school so many times

How this quantity of friends affected them is summarized below:

- Having a diversified knowledge about many things

- Having to get used to too many people might be tough

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 2 female respondents marked on the option, ‘too much friends’. Their reasons were:

- Fear of loneliness when they couldn’t find their friends

- Because they don’t choose friends

One of those 2 female subjects wrote that because she is used to connecting with too
many friends it gets her to feel lonely these days.

* The answers that these respondents gave for the first question shows that everyone is in need of
people to be with and that friends are essential in life. And just like the answers for the first
question of our first questionnaire indicated, most humans have a great tendency of staying away
from loneliness, which is part of our ‘statement of problem’. We were also able to see that
passiveness can be one of the causes of having a little number of friends, which, as could be
understood from what our subjects wrote, has many negative effects.

2. The second question in this questionnaire was “List down, if there are any, the benefits you
gained from your friends during adolescence.” The answers given by the respondents can be
summarized as the following;

- Sharing problems and finding solutions,

- Having a strong personality,
- Getting rid of boredom and enjoy,
- Taking part in healthy activities like going to public libraries and spending times
on reading,
- Getting used to social life,
- Experience sharing

* On the ‘backgrounds’ section of this report we have mentioned that relations, if healthy, are
very important. The answers the subjects gave for this question can be enough examples for the
diversified importance of social relationships.

3. The third question of this section was what kind of negative influences they have
encountered during adolescence. The answers can be summarized as follows:

- Isolation
- Spending times in unhealthy pastimes, like drinking, using drugs
- Selfishness of some friends
- Immature sexual activities
- Doing things that contradict their plans
- Focusing less on education and more on other activities

> There are also respondents who said that they hadn’t been negatively affected by their friends.

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* These lists of negative influences of peer enmeshment during adolescence are evidences of the
existence of the statement of problem No 3 in real life. One of the respondents also mentioned
that isolation is one of the damaging memories about the peer enmeshment during his
adolescence time. This also was mentioned in the statement problem.

4. What we intended to know last was if there is any advice these respondents could give
to adolescents on how to protect themselves from the negative influences of their peers based on
their experience before. The advices given were;

- Always giving priorities to those activities that add values to life, like education, sports
and religious activities
- Trying to influence more than being influenced
- Listening to parental advises and the elderly
- Being open to their friends, and able to express what they think is good and is bad,
- Being very careful while choosing friends, studying their characters first helps.
- Being a person of unshakable values
- Trying to be confident and learning to stick to their own decisions

Summary and conclusions

Although it is not to a satisfactory extent, we can say that we have the information we
needed about the existence of those in our ‘statement of problem’. That is we have seen
respondents who are struggling with unnecessary parental controls, who had been isolated by
friends, and those who are/ were negatively influenced by friends. The following are those life
troubles that follow those stated in the ‘statement of problem’

 Studies show that parents who exert too much control over the social lives of their
children could be causing them lifelong physiological damage. Researchers found that
people who reported that their parents were over controlling are more likely to have low
scores in surveys of happiness and general wellbeing. In contrast, people with caring
parents tended to be more content well into adulthood.
 The findings of a study undertaken in the Delhi region of north central India showed that
there is a positive correlation between social isolation and depression.
 Some peer pressures into doing unhealthy activities lead the victims to a messed up life.
Early and unprepared pregnancy, addiction and failures in school can be some of those
messy effects of adolescent peer pressures.

The question is how adolescents can handle these problems and what parents should do for
their adolescent children in order to enhance their social lives. As tried to show in the pages
above, we have allowed the responders to list down what they think can be good ways of
resisting those negative influences.

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 Recommendations

We have tried to show the problems that we think are there and have found in the area of
peer enmeshment. The following is what we recommend adolescents and parents on peer
enmeshment.

Adolescents can use one of the following ways to avoid peer pressure;

 Say “no” like you mean it. Saying no can be hard sometimes but it can be easy
through trainings. And you can back-up your “no” with positive statement.
That way you might turn out to be influential.
 Never hesitate to state your position towards unhealthy activities over and
over again.
 If you have to, get away from the pressure zone.
 Find friends who share your values and back each other up. This might be the
best way to get the most out of friendships.
 Consider the results of giving in. Always take a moment to think about the
consequences of your actions.
 Don’t pressure others, it might put you in a position where you might be
pressured in the future, it might feel like you owe them.
 Learn to win over your emotions and your moods, they might make you
vulnerable
 Evaluate your friendships
 Find new friends

Cop up ways for the depression caused by isolation during adolescence time are
summarized below;

 Forming adolescence resilience programs in schools.

 Parents should be closer and be able to talk to their children about their
social lives and evaluate their positions. This will allow the adolescents to
express their actual feelings and the parents to provide them with a mature
solution.
 The adolescents should learn to be their own best friends first. They
should remind themselves every now and then that they are special and
nuke out any negative statements of bullies and isolating peers. Once they
can do that they can be good participants in social activities.
 These adolescents can also meet up with others with the same problem and
discuss about solutions.
 But before all of these happen adolescents should be thought or learn by
themselves never to be won over by the intimidations of the bullies and
those who try to isolate them. Reading books helps to be mentally strong.

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 Our last recommendation goes to parents. What they can do to support friendships is
summarized below;

 Parents must understand that they should let their children make their own
decisions if they want to see them grow up into very well matured
adolescents. One of these decisions is that of spending times with friends.
This doesn’t mean they should leave them hundred percent to themselves.
Parents sometimes have to help their adolescent children understand the
wrong actions. This can only be achieved by having a positive
communication with their children, not by repeated negative punishments
and pressures.
 The parents can develop the culture inviting their children’s friends over
in order to have ideas who their children spend most of their times with
and this offers them a great deal of information.

Acknowledgements

Our first thanks goes to our psychology teacher who pushed us go through this process. We
believe this would be helpful to us in the future.

Secondly, we would like to acknowledge all the respondents of this questionnaire especially the
teachers and students of Mickyliland School for filling out our questionnaires.

References

- A blog on ways to avoid peer pressure by Alison Bell (a writer in teen magazines)

- ‘Reducing social across life course’ prepared by Public Health England

- A study report on isolation and depression from Priyanka Tiwari and Sonakshi Ruhela from
Amity University, Noida

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Index

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