Persuasive Messages 1

Persuasive Messages
Learning Objectives
 Discuss situations when persuasion may be necessary
 Discuss and incorporate ethics into persuasive messages
 Determine persuasive appeals based on analysis of the product and audience and on the
message objective
 Identify unique characteristics of non-routine requests and sales messages that promote
favorable responses
 Analyze persuasive messages to verify that they reflect the six Cs of effective messages and
acceptable message formats
 Apply the CBO approach and the persuasive strategy AIDA to prepare effective persuasive
messages

The Persuasive Strategy

Routine messages require little persuasion because quick agreement is anticipated or the response
requested is considered routine. However, when you ask someone to do something out of the ordinary—
donate money, do a favor, respond positively to a claim (complaint), pay an overdue bill, or buy a product
—you may be asking for more than a receiver wants to do. You may need to persuade someone to
accept your ideas or to take an action.
Persuasive messages include the following types of messages:
Nonroutine Requests
 Support an Activity or a Cause
 Donate Knowledge, Time, or Money
 Cooperate to Resolve an Issue
 Cooperate to Pay a Bill
Sales Messages
 Purchase a Product or Service

Most nonroutine persuasive messages and sales messages are prepared in the indirect pattern of
organization following a specific persuasive strategy. The AIDA strategy (attention, interest, desire,
action) is a specific approach to gain the receiver’s attention, presenting information to encourage
interest, adding details about receiver benefits to heighten the receiver’s desire to respond favorably, and
urging the receiver to take action on the request.

Sometimes the word persuasion is perceived negatively and is associated with dishonest practices, such
as misleading people into donating money to bogus causes or buying products or services they are
unable to afford. Ethical persuasion means that you give receivers the information they need to make
informed decisions about the value of your request or your product. Therefore, you must avoid words and
analogies that are misleading, that are likely to cause misunderstandings, and that distort the truth.

Your messages can be communicated ethically by:

 Using clear, straightforward words, which are understood by diverse audiences
 Providing information that can be verified, such as guarantees, statistical information, research
results, and other supportive documentation
 Knowing your topic in order to give your audience quality information
 Being enthusiastic and sincere to help your audience identify with what you are saying
 Being objective-avoid omitting information that people need to make informed decisions

Using the CBO Approach to Create a Persuasive Message

The Communication-by-Objective (CBO) approach offers three steps for writing effective messages. The
first step directs you to plan a message, the second step helps you to compose a draft, and the third step
 Persuasive Messages 2

guides you to complete a message. Emphasizing the four activities in each step will help you prepare an
effective, persuasive message.

1. Plan a Message
Identify the Objective
Your main objective is to write a persuasive message that convinces receivers that they will benefit
from responding favorably to your request (to persuade the receiver to take positive action).

Visualize the Audience

Identify your audience so that your persuasive message addresses the needs and wants of the
audience. Demographic information (age, gender, education, occupation, income, and marital status)
and psychographic information (beliefs, opinions, and interests) provides clues about potential
receivers so you can make relevant decisions about message content, form, and transmission.

As you write a persuasive message determine whether the audience will more likely react positively
to information presented emotionally or rationally.

Emotional Appeal
The emotional appeal is related to ego, status, and self-satisfaction. Emotional appeals arouse
feelings such as sympathy, anger, love, and pride. They aim at the senses, and descriptions are
vivid. Emotional appeals are especially successful for seeking a receiver’s support when intangible
(indirect) benefits such as a sense of fair play or a feeling of satisfaction achieved from fulfilling a
moral responsibility are implied. Balancing an emotional appeal with logic helps to assure receivers
that a favorable response is the right choice as shown in Table 5-1.

Table 5-1: Emotional Appeals

Appeal
Twelve special people, just like you, created a
driving relay team to transport Phoebe safely across
the United States to a sanctuary where she will
never be abused again.
The success of your business is important to the pet
owners who rely on Pet Plus Supplies for top-notch
products and personalized services.
Brantley & Miller, 2008
Discussion
A donation request identifies the receiver as
one of a few “special” people who carry out
difficult tasks, encouraging a sense of
responsibility.
A middle-stage collection message appeals
to the receiver’s ego by referencing the
receiver’s importance to customers.

Rational Appeal
The rational appeal is related to logic and intellect, and descriptions are more matter-of-fact.
Statistics, durability, size, speed, and financial information are examples of direct or tangible reasons
for a receiver to respond favorably. Warranties, guarantees, rebates, trial offers, and free samples
are elements of a rational appeal. See Table 5-2.

Table 5-2: Rational Appeals

Appeal Discussion
More than 87% of lung cancers are smoking A message from a stop-smoking clinic
related. provides factual support.
An additional 15%! That’s what you will save on A promotional flyer emphasizes savings to
every purchase the day you open a Chapman’s encourage opening a charge account.
Charge.
Brantley & Miller, 2008

Combination Appeal
A combination appeal incorporates both logic and feeling. Donation requests often rely on emotional
appeals supported by enough logic to justify an emotionally driven decision. A nonroutine claim
message, for example, usually presents a rational appeal with an objective, chronological sequence
of events that led to the claim. The same message may point out that “playing fair” or maintaining
 Persuasive Messages 3

customer goodwill (emotional appeal) is beneficial to the receiver. In a sales message, a combination
appeal helps receivers achieve a balance between needs and wants. See Table 5-3.
Table 5-3: Combination Appeals
Appeal Discussion
Your excellent merchandise selection at Tickled A sentence from an adjustment request provides
Pink attracts customers. However, your a contrast—a compliment, which appeals to the
inattentive staff prompts customers to spend receiver’s pride (emotional), and a complaint,
their money elsewhere. which points out a loss of sales (rational).
You may choose a gift when you reinstate your To encourage membership renewal, a nonprofit
membership—a gift that thanks you for your message offers a gift (rational) to thank you for
devotion and commitment. “doing the right thing,” which is illustrated by the
words devotion and commitment (emotional).
Brantley & Miller, 2008

Gather Supporting Information

Study the situation, the organization, the product, and the service to find ideas that are pertinent to
your objective and relevant to the audience—ideas that ethically persuade the receiver to respond
favorably because your request is valid. Clear and convincing answers to what, when, where, who,
why, and how are imperative to accomplishing the message objective.

Organize the Information

The indirect pattern and the persuasive strategy AIDA (attention, interest, desire, and action)
positively influence the receiver by providing an explanation before the actual request is made, which
is the main idea. To follow the AIDA strategy, organize the message in the following sequence to
encourage receivers to consider the value of the entire message, to continue reading or listening, and
to respond favorably.

Persuasive Strategy AIDA

A. Gain favorable attention by drawing the receiver into the conversation of the message with a
topic-relevant opening (encourages further reading or listening)
I. Introduce information to create and maintain receiver interest using an emotional, logical, or
combination appeal
D. Offer details focusing on receiver benefits to stimulate the desire to respond favorably
A. Motivate receiver action by providing an easy, dated response and/or some other incentive
Brantley & Miller, 2008

2. Compose a Draft
Choose Words
Apply the CBO approach by expanding the completed AIDA outline information into a message draft.
Choose descriptive, concrete words to build images. Vivid language, analogies, metaphors, stories,
and evidence help to clarify your ideas and to relate the content of your message to something
familiar to the receiver. Positive descriptive words (see examples in Table 5-4) create interest and
desire in what you have to say.

Table 5-4: Image Builders

Positive Descriptive Words
Best Friends brought more than 4,000
displaced pets out of the catastrophe of
Hurricane Katrina.
Native American, Spanish, and western pioneer
influences create a unique experience for you to
enjoy. Phoenix Mountain Reserve offers beauty
and adventure; Scottsdale offers casual yet
sophisticated style. Both present endless
opportunities for exploration and entertainment.
Brantley & Miller, 2008
Discussion
Numbers demonstrate success, despite the odds,
and help receivers justify responding favorably
The descriptive language in a sales message
heightens interest in a geographic area by
appealing to an audience of varied interests
(nature vs. city; casual vs. sophisticated)
 Persuasive Messages 4

Negative descriptive words may be used to emphasize the seriousness of the situation and to hasten
action. See Table 5-5.

Table 5-5: Image Builders

Negative Descriptive Words
An estimated 163,510 deaths from lung cancer
will occur in the United States during 2013.
Money and goodwill lost—all because of flight
delays! Repeated flight delays between O’Hare
and LA forced the need to reschedule meetings,
meals, and presentations.
Brantley & Miller, 2008
Discussion
Stating the number of deaths is a negative
descriptor used to scare receivers into registering
for a stop-smoking program
A claim message requests a partial refund by
using words such as lost, delays, and reschedule
to emphasize the seriousness of the situation

Construct Sentences
Construct sentences following the six C’s of effective messages: courtesy, clarity, conciseness,
concreteness, correctness, and completeness.

Assemble Paragraphs
Assemble paragraphs that have clear topic sentences and pertinent supporting sentences. Use short
paragraphs appropriately sequenced to keep the receiver’s attention.

Choose Paragraph Locations

Paragraph 1: The opening of a persuasive message has two purposes: to attract the receiver’s
favorable attention and to encourage further reading. An effective opening implies some type of
reward for the receiver and makes the receiver want to know more about what you have to say.
Openings should be one to four lines, you-oriented, and relevant to the topic. They should establish
the theme of your message. Table 5-6 shows appropriate openings for nonroutine and sales
situations.

Table 5-6: Effective Opening Statements

Type of Opening Discussion
Opening
Open ended Who knew real estate could be The receiver must continue reading the sales
question this much fun? message to learn the answer
Agreeable A healthy breakfast is a good An agreeable opening to a food pantry donation
statement start to your day! request
Compliment or Thank you for being a longtime An opening to promote new banking services
expression of customer. acknowledges the receiver as a valued customer
appreciation
An immediate Please consider a donation for A superficial request to get the receiver to
request the homeless victims of continue reading
Hurricane George!
Fact, statistic, Just when you’d have thought Format, punctuation, and word choice lead the
or startling things were settling down a bit… receiver from one line to the next in a request for
statement The Great Bunny Sex Scandal of bunny adopters and donations
2006!
One Hundred Years Old and Still A short emphatic opening to a request for a
Going Strong! speaker encourages continued reading
Proverb, The foundation of every state is Diogenes’ quote begins a message seeking town
quotation, or the education of its youth. – residents’ support for a new school referendum
familiar saying Diogenes
Only when the last tree is cut; The proverb sets the theme in a request for
only when the last river is stronger environmental protection legislation
polluted; only when the last fish is
caught; only then will they realize
that you cannot eat money. –
 Persuasive Messages 5

Native American Proverb (Cree)

Paragraph 2: During the planning stage, you analyzed your audience to determine relevant
audience characteristics. Now you introduce those key ideas to generate receiver interest. Provide
an explanation that convinces receivers of the value of your request before you make the actual
request. The length and detail of the explanation depends on how much information receivers need
to know to make informed, favorable decisions.

Paragraph 3: Stimulate desire by adding the details. Include supporting information. Descriptive
details give receivers that extra push to respond favorably. Connect the benefits offered to the
receiver’s needs and wants and address receiver concerns. Some receiver benefits are direct and
tangible: for example, refunds or gifts. Other benefits are implied and relate to achieving personal
satisfaction or enhancing one’s reputation. Whether direct or indirect, benefits must be clearly
recognizable. Consider possible concerns; then offer positive information to address those concerns
before the receiver has an opportunity to raise them. Table 5-7 shows interest and desire
statements.

Table 5-7: Effective Interest and Desire Statements

Interest Discussion
You get 52 issues for 99¢ each—a 71% savings. Numbers quickly identify a substantial savings
Plenty of empty food boxes are waiting to be Descriptive words imply a moral responsibility
distributed. The challenge, though, is filling the
boxes.
Desire Discussion
Quickly scan each issue, zero in on what you need, Energetic words aim at the convenience and
and put the information to use! personal satisfaction of accessing important
information quickly
Your satisfaction is guaranteed! You will have a 90- Emphasizes the receiver and addresses concerns
day refund opportunity.
Brantley & Miller, 2008

Paragraph 4: The closing of a persuasive message courteously, but confidently, asks the receiver to
take action. To encourage a prompt, favorable response restate key receiver benefits; offer
incentives, such as gifts, discounts, or trail periods; provide an easy way to respond (phone number,
e-mail address, fax number, response card, enclosed envelope) and a dated response time. See
Table 5-8 for effective closing statements.

Table 5-8: Effective Closing Statements

Action Close Discussion
Show your support! Defeat America’s No. 1 killer— Emphatic call for action makes response easy with
heart disease—by sending your check in the a respond by date
enclosed, postage-paid envelope or by logging on
to www.defeatheartdisease.org for easy credit card
payment by June 15!
Your active participation will confirm your A request for support stresses social responsibility
commitment to keeping the neighborhood safe. and provides easy, dated response
Please say that you will attend the June 15 meeting,
7:30 p.m. at the West End Campus. You may
respond by phone, 555.262.0121, or by e-mail,
nparkland@WEC.org by June 1.
Complete the online survey at www.dvdnow.com by Ease of response and a gift encourage the receiver
June 11, and you will receive two free DVDs. to respond favorably
Brantley & Miller, 2008

3. Complete a Message
Proofread
Confirm that the message reflects the six C’s and that the content is accurate and says what you
intend. Refer to the Format Guide to ensure format accuracy. Use appropriate references to verify
content accuracy.
 Persuasive Messages 6

Edit
Make the changes you have indicated on your draft.

Revise
Continue to revise for format and content accuracy until you produce an acceptable final message.

Finalize and Proofread

Make sure your persuasive message achieves your objective, focuses on your audience, includes
supporting information, reflects ethics and credibility, sounds professional, and follows the AIDA
strategy (indirect pattern).

Persuasive Applications
Persuasive messages may be prepared for an audience of one or an audience of many. Donation
requests and sales messages are often form letters because they are mailed to hundreds or thousands of
people. However, even mass mailings can be individualized when the message is receiver-oriented and
elements are personalized, such as including the receiver’s name and address within the message.

Nonroutine Requests: Request for Support

 Support an Activity or a Cause
 Donate Knowledge, Time, or Money

Nonroutine requests ask people to do something out of the ordinary, so the messages are organized in
the indirect pattern and incorporate the persuasive strategy AIDA. Requests for support ask someone to
act on an important situation, such as voting for specific legislation; or they ask someone to donate time,
money, or knowledge to an important cause. Your intent is to convince the receiver that your request is
worthy of support. Examples of request for support are provided in Illustration 5-1 (Request for Support of
an Activity or a Cause); Illustration 5-2 (Request to Donate Knowledge and Time; and Illustration 5-3
(Request to Donate Money).

Request for Support of an Activity or a Cause, Donate Knowledge, Time, or Money Messages

When writing a request for support message, apply the indirect pattern and incorporate the persuasive
strategy AIDA.
1. Attention - Gain favorable attention by drawing the receiver into the conversation of the message
with a topic-relevant opening (encourages further reading or listening)
2. Interest - Introduce information to create and maintain receiver interest using an emotional,
logical, or combination appeal
3. Desire - Offer details focusing on receiver benefits to stimulate the desire to respond favorably
4. Action - Motivate receiver action by providing an easy, dated response and/or some other
incentive

Nonroutine Requests: Request for Cooperation

 Cooperate to Resolve an Issue
 Cooperate to Pay a Bill

When resolving a situation requires considerable expense or inconvenience, the receiver may need to be
convinced that cooperation is beneficial. Asking for an adjustment and asking for past-due payment are
nonroutine requests that typically require persuasion. Organize in the indirect pattern and apply the
persuasive strategy AIDA to encourage cooperation. An objective presentation of details adds strength to
the message and encourages a receiver to respond favorably. Examples of request for cooperation are
provided in Illustration 5-4 (Request for an Adjustment) and Illustration 5-5 (Request to Resolve a Claim).

Request for Cooperation to Resolve an Issue

An adjustment request seeks resolution to an unusual situation, which may require extra effort from the
receiver; such as a request for a refund beyond a refund date. A claim or complaint message expresses
dissatisfaction with a product or service; such as a claim or complaint revolving around repeated product
 Persuasive Messages 7

repairs, delays, return policies, poor service, and similar situations. Assume your receiver will cooperate
when you present adequate information to justify your request. Direct your written or spoken message to
someone who has decision-making authority.

When writing a request for cooperation to resolve an issue message, apply the indirect pattern and
incorporate the persuasive strategy AIDA.
1. Attention - Gain favorable attention by drawing the receiver into the conversation of the message
with a topic-relevant opening (encourages further reading or listening)
2. Interest - Calmly and precisely provide details in chronological order describing inconveniences
you suffered or unpleasant situations that occurred showing the situation can be solved with
receiver’s help
3. Desire - Offer details focusing on receiver benefits to stimulate the desire to respond favorably
 Provide information and documents that support your case including model numbers,
dates, and other helpful information
 Include pertinent copies of warranties, receipts, and similar documentation
4. Appeal to the receiver by introducing information to create and maintain receiver interest using an
emotional, logical, or combination appeal
 Appeal to the receiver’s sense of fairness, ethical or legal responsibility, and value of
maintaining goodwill
 When appropriate, state or imply consequences should the receiver respond unfavorably
5. Action - Motivate receiver action by providing an easy, dated response
 Make a reasonable request for compensation of legitimate expenses and inconveniences

Request for Cooperation to Pay a Bill

A collection policy must reflect state regulations and the criteria established by the Fair Debt Collection
Practices Act of 1978. The initial invoice that accompanies goods or services should clearly state what is
owed, when payment is expected, and where to mail the check. When a debt is unpaid by the due date,
systematic follow-up is necessary to reinforce the importance of satisfying the outstanding obligation.
Collection messages should follow federal and state collection regulations, be sent at regular intervals,
and use the appropriate organizational pattern and message strategy for each collection stage.

A formal company policy should be established to dictate the length of the entire collection process by
outlining timing and expected action within each of the three stages of collection. The three stages are
initial, middle, and final.

1. Initial-stage Collection Message

An initial-stage collection message is a routine reminder written in the direct pattern. You may assume
that the receiver has forgotten or has a temporary shortage of funds. A reminder should be sent
immediately after the payment deadline has passed. The appropriate message form could be an
individualized form letter, a brief message or sticker on a customer bill, or a preprinted collection card.
The following sticker or stamp example (also shown in Illustration 5-6) could be placed on a customer bill
as an initial-stage collection message.

Example: Initial-stage Collection Message

Carey
Vision Looked everywhere…
Center …but your check is
missing!
 Persuasive Messages 8

2. Middle-stage Collection Message

The middle-stage collection message is a persuasive message. You still assume that the receiver wants
to pay, but you also assume that something has happened to prevent a timely payment. A personalized
middle-stage letter enables you to express a sincere concern for the receiver’s credit rating and ability to
continue making purchases. The message also presents payment options. Illustration 5-7 provides an
example middle-stage collection message.

When writing a request for cooperation to pay a bill (middle-stage collection) message, apply the
indirect pattern and incorporate the persuasive strategy AIDA.
1. Attention - Gain favorable attention by a positive, neutral statement that encourages further
reading or listening
2. Interest – Explain objectively without accusation
 Provide details leading up to the collection process using the passive voice
3. Desire - Offer details focusing on receiver benefits to stimulate the desire to respond favorably
 Include the amount due, the number of days past due, and other important details
 Personalize the message
4. Appeal to the receiver by introducing information to create and maintain receiver interest using an
emotional, logical, or combination appeal
 Appeal to the receiver’s sense of fairness (you owe for the product or service) and value
of maintaining goodwill (you can maintain your good credit rating)
5. Action - Motivate receiver action by providing an easy, dated response for payment
 Offer payment options
 Provide contact information

3. Final-stage Collection Message

A final-stage collection message is an ultimatum and is prepared in the direct pattern of organization. At
this stage, the direct pattern is appropriate because you have made several requests for payment and the
receiver is yet to respond. Final-stage collection messages often are form messages that contain
receiver-specific information written in a businesslike tone and are assertive. In addition to including the
amount owed and the number of days past due, the message relays the negative consequences of
nonpayment, such as collection agency intervention or small claims action. Illustration 5-8 is an example
of a final-stage collection message.

When writing a request for cooperation to pay a bill (final-stage collection) message, apply the direct
pattern.
1. Begin with the course of action—the main idea
 Provide the date when action will begin
2. Provide adequate details
 Restate the details of the money owed and the collection attempts thus far
 Be explicit about the consequences of nonpayment
3. End with an assertive request for payment
 Allow one more opportunity to avoid drastic action when payment is made immediately

Sales Messages
 Purchase a Product or Service

The main objective of sales messages is to persuade receivers that a product or service is worth
purchasing. Therefore, you will want to focus on the features that will have the greatest appeal to the
particular audience you have identified. A target audience is a group of potential customers chosen
because characteristics such as age, occupation, cultural background, and lifestyle best relate to your
product or service. The more information you know about the intended audience, the greater your
 Persuasive Messages 9

chances of sales success. Once you have decided on your audience, determine the salable features of
the product or service that clearly demonstrate receiver benefits and distinguish the product or service
from others on the market. Sales messages may be in the form of a letter, e-mail, billboard, flyer,
television and radio advertisement, or text message. When someone inquires about a product or service,
the response to that inquiry is a solicited sales message. An unsolicited sales message is initiated by a
business to promote the purchase of a product or service. Sales messages incorporate the AIDA strategy
(attention, interest, desire, action). Illustration 5-9 provides an example of a sales message letter and
Illustration 5-10 shows an e-mail sales message.

When writing a sales message, apply the persuasive strategy AIDA.

1. Attention - Gain favorable attention with a short, snappy opening that implies some type of
receiver benefit (encourages further reading or listening)
2. Interest - Identify product selling points (product focused)
3. Desire - Identify receiver benefits to stimulate the desire to respond favorably (receiver focused)
4. Action - Motivate receiver action by setting a time limit and make action easy

Sales messages may, by design, violate the rules of standard business messages. Print sales messages
may exceed one page and may include a variety of print mechanics. The use of different font styles,
color, bold, italics, and bulleted lists, as well as sentence fragments may be used.

How the receiver (buyer) will use the product or service often determines which appeal to use in preparing
the explanation. For example, a rational appeal emphasizing durability and user satisfaction may be the
best approach when selling fitness equipment to a health club. On the other hand, an emotional appeal
emphasizing personal appearance may be the best approach when selling similar equipment to the
general public. Explanations strive to create mental images, connect product value to receiver benefit,
and anticipate and address potential concerns. Tangible benefits help reduce receiver resistance.
Testimonials from real people show a history of satisfied customers and may be used to influence
receivers. To overcome price as an obstacle, de-emphasize the price in any of these ways:
 Include the price in a separate enclosed card or brochure
 Position the price in the middle of a paragraph
 Break the price into manageable increments, such as three payments of $59.95

The purpose of the closing is to motivate the receiver to act favorably and quickly. Tell the receiver what
to do, offer an enticing incentive, set a time limit, and make action easy. Sometimes a postscript (P.S.)
that follows the signature block is an effective close because the receiver’s eye is drawn to that final line.
Table 5-9 offers examples of attention-getting opening statements, interest and desire explanations, and
action closings statements.

Table 5-9: Sales Messages Openings, Explanations, and Closings

Openings Avoid waiting…plan your luxurious escape today!
What can you buy for 99¢?
MaxAM—your card is absolutely fee free!
Explanation Aurora Vacation Network responds to your lifestyle needs! Membership guarantees deeply
s discounted rates (up to 50% off) on sumptuous suites without blackout dates at any of the 125
resorts worldwide.
“I am so pleased with Xye-Brite. My monitor remains static free—even during the driest winter
months.” --Bo Boehmer, Rhinelander, Wisconsin
Closings Act quickly! Call 1.800.555.0142 or order online at www.ProVal.com. The extra
20% discount offer expires May 1.
P.S. When you place your order by September 1, you will receive the popular
Road Trip Pack absolutely free!
Brantley & Miller, 2008

E-mail sales messages should be prepared for current customers or prospects who have given you
permission (opt-in) to e-mail sales messages. Use a subject line that is short, to-the-point, and hints at
content. Use headings and asterisks to aid in readability. Offer something special to online users.
Provide a link or toll-free number for fast, easy action and a contact name to further personalize the
 Persuasive Messages 10

message. Give the receiver an option to be removed from the mailing list (opt-out) at the end of the
message. You should respond to customers within 24 hours.
 Persuasive Messages 11

Illustration 5-1: Request for Support Message-Support an Activity or Cause–(Personal Business

Block letter format with open punctuation)

567 Mountain View Road

Trindad, CO 81082-5678
March 31, 2013

Attention Council President Kevin Moy

City Council at Town Hall
100 Freedom Square
Trinidad, CO 81082-2345

VOTE NO ON REZONING

1. Attention – attention- The City Council's wise decisions have preserved Trinidad’s authenticity
getting statement and healthy small town environment, moving forward but at a productively
(compliment) deliberate pace.

2. Interest – use an Next week you will vote on an important rezoning issue; specifically,
appropriate appeal; key Starburst Entertainment’s proposal to build a 30,000-seat amphitheater and
points showing the a 10,000-car parking lot at Highway 350 and I-25. The promoters plan to
situation is of schedule outdoor concerts from May through September; and they expect
consequence to be to draw concert goers from as far away as Denver, Amarillo, and Santa Fe.
solved with receiver’s The amphitheater would provide considerable revenue in taxes.
help (direct or indirect)
Yes, the taxes would help the city budget; but the impact of such an
3. Desire – lead to amphitheater on a small town must be considered. You may already know
request by providing that Starburst Entertainment built an amphitheater in Redmond,
details including receiver Washington, 4 years ago. Redmond's civic leaders have struggled since to
benefits (emotional or reduce concert noise level, after-concert property damage, and traffic
rational) accidents. Heavy-metal music can be heard in homes miles away. Cars,
trucks, SUVs, and RVs park on nearby residents' property; and throngs of
people walk through yards into the early morning, tossing garbage,
including glass containers. Traffic accidents have risen 25%, and additional
police power is required for every concert. Mayor Lisa Henderson (425-
555-0147) can explain the multiple issues that have evolved from the
Redmond's amphitheater complex.

4. Action – state desired Please vote on April 9 to stop the rezoning and initiate a comprehensive
action and provide a impact study before making such a critical decision. A "no" vote will show
date for receiver to that the Council is committed to keeping Trinidad a wonderful place to live
respond and do business.

Sincerely

Theresa Smithson

Theresa Smithson
Trinidad Resident
 Persuasive Messages 12

Illustration 5-2: Request for Support Message-Donate Knowledge and Time–(Block letter format
with open punctuation)

VALLEY UNIVERSITY SYSTEM

Kohler School of Business
1200 West Sheffield Way
Monterey, CA 93940
Phone: 831.555.0151 * Fax: 831.555.0157
www.vus1200.edu

December 2, 2012

Mr. Kaleb Kaiser

San Francisco Chronicle
4155 North Pacific Street
Petaluma, CA 94952

Dear Mr. Kaiser

1. Attention – attention- Your employment column, “The Employment Corner," in the San Francisco
getting statement Chronicle is a must read. Your column is assigned as a weekly reading for
(compliment) management students. Your style and your employment advice are
appreciated.

2. Interest – build Your column is popular because your advice is on target; and your articles
interest using an incorporate courtesy, clarity, conciseness, concreteness, correctness, and
appropriate appeal to completeness.
encourage receiver’s
favorable response Those same communication principles are stressed in the booklet To Be or
Not to Be—Employed, which is being prepared for graduating students.
This practical booklet, published by Valley University Press, will contain
3. Desire – lead to candid and relevant tips on developing a successful job search strategy.
request providing details Will you share your observations? Both your style and your knowledge
including receiver make you an ideal contributor. To Be or Not to Be—Employed will include a
benefits series of 250- to 300-word vignettes. Each vignette relates an experience
that demonstrates the power of speaking or writing effectively. Addressing
any aspect of interviewing—preparing for, following through, or participating
in—will help graduates understand that effective communication is more
than a classroom discussion topic.

4. Action – state desired The booklet is slated for distribution May 1, so your response is needed by
action with dated January 3, 2013. Should you agree to be a contributor, your vignette must
response time and be received by March 1 to keep this project on schedule. You may call
provide an easy way for 831.555.8002 or email oquinnt@ksb.vus.edu for additional details. Please
receiver to respond say yes.

Cordially

Shirlee Braun

Shirlee Braun, Ph.D.

Dean, Student Life Services
 Persuasive Messages 13

Illustration 5-3: Request for Support Message- Donate Money–(Block letter format with open
punctuation)

Moving Forward
Arthritis Training Team
P. O. Box 892
Chandler, AZ 85224
665-444-3067

May 10, 2013

Mr. William Ward

85 Shasta Way
Chandler, AZ 85224

Dear Mr. Ward

1. Attention – attention-
getting statement to When you got out of bed this morning, did you stretch to work out the kinks?
stimulate further reading get your children ready for school? eat breakfast and hurry off to work?
(question)
Imagine how different your morning routine would be when a little stretching
2. Interest – key points did nothing to get your muscles moving or when getting dressed was hard
showing the situation is because your fingers remain stiff. How would you help your children or hurry
of consequence to be off to work when your hip joints were so swollen that you walked with great
solved with receiver’s difficulty. Arthritis affects one of every three people in the United States—
help (vivid language more than one hundred types of arthritis and related conditions exist!
-appropriate appeal) Approximately three hundred thousand children in the United States suffer
from some form of arthritis. Lindsey, for example, is 14; but her juvenile
rheumatoid arthritis causes painful swelling of her joints. Her medications
have weakened her immune system. Still, neither pain nor medications slow
her down. In fact, she hopes to swim competitively some day--after a cure is
found for her disease.

3. Desire – lead to You can help find that cure, and you can help the Juvenile Arthritis
request including Foundation (JAF) continue to offer programs and services by sponsoring the
receiver benefits to 10-Mile JAF Marathon on June 8. Together, you and the marathon runners
encourage receiver's can help Lindsey and children like her move forward to accomplish their
favorable response goals.

4. Action – state desired Help make arthritis a disease of the past. Please sponsor a runner by
action, date to respond sending your tax-deductible contribution in the enclosed envelope or call
by, and provide an easy 555.0122 by June 5 with your pledge.
way for receiver to
respond (enclosed Sincerely
envelope)
Shawna Talavara

Shawna Talavara
Program Coordinator

Enclosure
 Persuasive Messages 14

Illustration 5-4: Request for Cooperation Message-Request for an Adjustment–(Personal Business

Block letter format with mixed punctuation)

230 Fortune Drive

Denver, CO 80201
September 12, 2012

Mr. Pablo Ruiz

Director, Registration Office
Colorado State University
1110 16th Street
Denver, CO 80202

Dear Director Ruiz:

1. Attention – begin with Colorado State's accelerated programs and evening and weekend classes
courteous, attention- make returning to school much easier for the working adult.
getting statement
Classes have been completed each semester for the last three years, while
2. Interest – provide maintaining a 3.5 GPA; indicating a dedicated student. Current enrollment
details chronologically, includes Economics II and Anatomy and Physiology. Both courses are
clearly, calmly - showing requirements for a business communication degree.
the situation can be
solved with receiver’s However, a relative (mother) was recently diagnosed with cancer and must
help begin aggressive chemotherapy. She will need help daily through this life-
threatening crisis. Plans are to continue working full-time, parenting two
3. Desire – lead to school-age children, reducing everyone’s anxieties, and returning to school
request; include in January.
pertinent information to
support your case Although the final date for a full tuition refund was September 1, please
make an exception based on these unusual circumstances. Many are part of
4. Appeal to receiver's the "sandwich generation," with responsibilities for both children and parents.
sense of fairness (ethical A refund minus an administrative fee (perhaps 10%) would help to recognize
or legal responsibility) that Colorado State is willing to resolve legitimate special circumstances.

Please respond by September 30, so that a degree may be earned and

5. Action – state desired support for the college as a member of the State College Alumni Association
action (reasonable will occur. You may call 303-555-0169 at home in the evening.
request) providing an
action date Sincerely,

Carolanne Hempstead

Carolanne Hempstead
Student
 Persuasive Messages 15

Illustration 5-5: Request for Cooperation Message-Request to Resolve a Claim–Block letter format
with open punctuation)

Linette Ashley
Fullerton House, Studio Condo No. 45
Casper, WA 58339
May 14, 2013

Patrizia Langer, President

Condominium Board
610 W. Fullerton
Chicago, IL 60615

Dear Ms. Langer

1. Attention – begin with Fullerton House is in a great location. The studio condo (#45) and the
courteous, attention- general condition of the building are pleasing.
getting statement
However, the service provided to residents by Katka Management, the
2. Interest – provide association’s management company, is a concern.
details chronologically,
clearly, calmly - showing After several cars parked in the condo garage were burglarized on March 18,
the situation can be the theft of the garage remote control was reported to the police. Marlene,
solved with receiver’s the Katka assistant property manager, was called for a replacement. She
help assured a replacement remote would be delivered. After a week without a
replacement remote, on March 28, a second call was made. Marlene
3. Desire – lead to indicated a $75 replacement fee would be charged and an additional ten
request; include days would be needed for the check to clear. During the original call, a
pertinent information to replacement fee was unmentioned. To hasten the process, a check was
support your case personally delivered. Two weeks later, a remote was received—one that
was dysfunctional! The non-working remote was returned to Marlene. Six
weeks later, still a garage remote is needed; but Katka has $75!

4. Appeal to receiver's Marlene was increasingly rude on the telephone, and she avoided
sense of fairness (ethical responding to e-mails. More importantly, safety is compromised when the
or legal responsibility) garage gate must be manually opened in a dark alley.

5. Action – state desired Please contact Katka and insist a garage remote immediately be replaced
action (reasonable without charge. The condo board may also want to review Katka’s contract
request) providing an carefully before the contract renewal deadline. Tenant service should be a
action date main priority. Your prompt action, so that the remote is within hand by May
19, is appreciated. Should you need additional information, please call
312.555.0171 or e-mail at ashleyliln@eagle.net.

Sincerely

Linette Ashley

Linette Ashley
Resident
 Persuasive Messages 16

Illustration 5-6: Initial-Stage Collection Message–(Stamp or sticker format)

Carey
Vision Looked everywhere…
Center …but your check is
missing!

Illustration 5-7: Middle-Stage Collection Message–(Block letter format with mixed punctuation)
Notice the address information is placed at the bottom margin on this message (either top or bottom
margin is acceptable)

Carey Vision Center

April 24, 2013

Ms. Kacey Stricker

467 Highway 389 North
Concord, MA 00875

Dear Ms. Stricker:

1. Attention – positive You have paid your eye service bills on time and in full, usually at the
neutral statement conclusion of your appointment, for 15 years.

2. Interest – explain Because of your excellent payment history, you saved 15% in physician’s
objectively without fees when you selected Dr. Carey to perform your laser eye surgery at
accusation (use passive Lexington Country Hospital. Also, you were billed for services instead of
voice) paying in full the day of the surgery.

3. Desire – point out Your insurance company, Green Cruz, promptly paid 80% of the bill for the
benefits of complying laser surgery. Ms. Stricker, you are responsible for the remaining $1,200,
(personalize the which is 45-days past due. Please see the enclosed copy of your bill.
message)
What can be done to help you bring your account up to date? As a
4. Appeal to receivers consistent patient with a 15-year history, you will want to remain on the
sense of fairness and preferred customer list for 10% discounts on major procedures.
value of maintaining
goodwill The best option is to send your check for $1,200 in the enclosed envelope by
5. Action – state desired April 30. Should you need to make payment arrangements, please contact
action - provide contact 405-555-EYES by April 28.
information and date to
respond by (offer Sincerely,
payment options)
Sam Melby

Sam Melby
Business Manager

Enclosures

599 Professional Plaza, Suite 25 * Boston, MA 00870 * 405-555-EYES

Persuasive Messages 17

Illustration 5-8: Final-Stage Collection Message–(Block letter format with mixed punctuation)
1. Attention – open with
main idea (consequences)
– provide date action will
begin
2. Desire – restate details
leading to final collection
and provide specific
negative consequences
3. Action – end with
assertive request for
payment with opportunity to
pay immediately
Persuasive Messages 18
Carey Vision Center
June 1, 2013
Ms. Kacey Stricker
467 Highway 389 North
Concord, MA 00875
Dear Ms. Stricker:
FINAL Notice: Bill No. 258LES, March 10, 2013 $1,200
Your account balance of $1,200 is 90-days past due. Should your full
account be unpaid on June 5, 2013, Concord Creditors will begin
collection proceedings immediately.
After repeated attempts to collect your unpaid balance without a response
from you, your account is being submitted to a professional agency.
You may avoid the unpleasantness of formal collection proceedings,
which will damage your ability to purchase on credit. Pay $1,200 to the
center by the end of the business day on June 5. After June 5, you must
work directly with Concord Creditors.
Sincerely,
Sam Melby
Sam Melby
Business Manager
599 Professional Plaza, Suite 25 * Boston, MA 00870 * 405-555-EYES
 Persuasive Messages 19

Illustration 5-9: Sales Message–(Block form letter format with open punctuation)

Clean Sweep www.cleansweep.com * Ph. 215-555-0193

(Date)

(Title) (First Name) (Last Name)

(Street Address)
(City), (State) (Zip code)

Greetings - You can have a clean house--without lifting a finger!

1. Attention – attention- Like hundreds of other Philadelphia families, you can make sure your house is
getting statement always in top shape with Roto-Clean. Roto-Clean, a specially designed rotation
cleaning system for busy households, works like this:

2. Interest – identify Visit 1: The whole house is given a general cleanup with an in-depth bathroom
product selling points and kitchen cleaning. Visit 2: Everything will be cleaned again but with in-depth
(product focused) living room, family room, and bedroom cleaning. Each time, your whole house
gets a general cleanup with special attention to designated areas.

General cleanup includes:

*Washing and disinfecting tile walls, bathtubs, showers, sinks, and toilets
*Wiping appliances and cabinets/vanity tops
*Scrubbing floors and vacuuming carpets
*Polishing mirrors and fixtures
*Dusting furniture and removing cobwebs

In-depth cleaning includes these special touches:

*Scrubbing tile grout; spray-finishing carpets
*Hand-wiping baseboards, doors, and cabinets
*Small-brush cleaning around faucets, drains, and other hard-to-clean places
*Vacuuming window coverings and lampshades

3. Desire – identify You will find a pleasant, efficient, and willing staff that will "go that extra mile" to
receiver benefits satisfy clients. You can be worry free-everyone is carefully trained, bonded, and
(receiver focused) insured.

4. Action – motivate Check this out. Try one visit for free and then save 50% by signing a six-month
receiver to act favorably contract! Take advantage of this limited offer by calling 215-555-01933 today or
(set a time limit, make by visiting the web site at www.cleansweep.com.
action easy)
Sincerely

Sylvia Sanders

Sylvia Sanders
President

Postscript P.S. The free visit and 50% savings offer expires October 1.
 Persuasive Messages 20

Illustration 5-10: Sales Message–(E-mail format)

Date: 5/25/2013 7:48:25 AM Eastern Standard Time

To: twiningsbb@peoplelink.com
From: bpSuperScribe@fastpass.inet.com
cc:
Subject: Premium Programming/Low-Priced Downloads—30-Day Free Trial

SuperScribe—Your Ticket to News, Sports, Music, Entertainment

1. Attention – Anywhere, Anytime!
attention-getting
statement News, sports, music, and entertainment are as close as your computer, your
TV, and your mobile devices—anywhere, anytime—for as little as $15.95 a
2. Interest – identify month.
product selling points
(product focused) SuperScribe favorites include:
*Premium Programming - Shift into high gear with up-to-the minute news and
3. Desire – identify sports.
receiver benefits *Online Radio - Tune in and turn on to more than 2,000 radio stations
(receiver focused) worldwide.
*Music Downloads - Download 20 songs every month from the mNote Store.
*Quality Video - Choose from more than 30,000 titles (movies and more) to
play on your computer, your TV, or your mobile device.

This 30-day, obligation free offer ends June 1. Subscribing is a snap. Click
4. Action – motivate here to order online or call 1-866-555-0130.
receiver to act
favorably (set a time Bojana Pocket
limit, make action Sales Manager
easy) Fast Pass Internet Services
3398 N. Street
Chicago, IL 49980
445-555-3059
Provide opportunity to
be removed from the
mailing list
To opt out of receiving future promotional e-mail messages from the company,
click here to unsubscribe.

References
As adapted from:
Brantley, Clarice & Miller, Michele. (2008). Effective Communication for Colleges. Thomson South-
Western Publishers.