HOW TO HANDLE FAILED, UNREALISTIC AND

NEGATIVE EXPECTATIONS IN OPTIMAL WAYS

https://blog.iqmatrix.com/controlling-expectations

Emotions Influence Your Expectations

Emotion. What emotion am I experiencing?

Expectation. What am I expecting as a result?

Helpful or unhelpful. Is this expectation helpful or unhelpful?

Moving forward to goal. Does this expectation get me closer to my

desired outcome?

Expecting with Certainty Creates Reality

Questioning expectations.
 What do I expect of myself in this particular situation?
 What specifically do I expect will happen?
 Is it reasonable to hold onto these kinds of expectations?
 Is it helpful? Does it support my goals and objectives?

Handling Failed Expectations

Reframing.
 The result was simply not what I expected…
 This result doesn’t change who I am or what I am capable of…
 This is only one failed attempt that I must learn and grow
from…

Adaptability.
 How flexible are my expectations?
 What if conditions change?
  How will my expectations need to shift as a result?

Lessons.
 What have I learned from this experience?
 What do these results tell me?
 How must I now adapt to these changing conditions?
 What new expectations should I create?
 How must I now move forward specifically as a result of these
new expectations?

Handling Unrealistic Expectations

Belief. What do I believe about this situation?

Expectation. What do I expect will happen?

Assumptions. What assumptions am I potentially making about this?

Factual or not. Is it reasonable to expect these things? Are these

expectations based on fact?

Helpful expectations. What set of expectations would be more

helpful in this situation?

Unreasonable to expect.
 What’s unreasonable to expect of myself?
 What’s unreasonable to expect of myself in this situation?
 What are more reasonable expectations in this situation?

Expectations of others.
 What’s unreasonable to expect of this person given their ability
and current circumstances?
 Would I expect the same of myself in this situation?
  Have I personally lived up to these kinds of expectations
before?

Handling Negative Expectations

Handling negative expectations.

 What do I expect will happen?
 How do I know for sure that things will pan out this way?
 What if the way I’m thinking about this is completely
flawed?
 What’s another more empowering way to think about
this?
 What would [mentor’s name] expect of themselves in this
situation?
 What if I already had everything I needed to make this
work? What would I do as a result?
 What’s a new set of expectations that would be more
helpful in this situation?