Miyuki Yamaguchi Espada

Unit 3

Look At You Assignment

May, 2020

Part 1
Extra for both: ​words that are the same colours are similar

Word Cloud of my Personality Traits:

Extra: ​words with capital letter are part of the five main personality traits

Word Cloud of my Personal Values:

Part 2

1. In what situations do you suppress some of your core personality traits? Why do
you do this?

For me personally, I find this to be a difficult question to answer. My core personality traits
listed above are not lies of course, but rather are the products born from the suppression of
other personality traits I once carried.

For example, when I was younger I was much more active and self-confident. I would lead
with graceless power, jump into new endeavours without fear, and took pride in my
overwhelming strength that I believed would never fade. It was much easier to articulate my
true opinions, and draw lines where I wanted them. But alas, as we can see now, I am not that
same person.

Now some say that this is due to a “maturation” that occurred as I grew up, but I beg to differ.
It’s one thing to mature, and another to purposefully smother your true emotions for the
benefit of others. Which sadly, I actively did for much of my preteen years.

Due to many external reasons including, but not limited to, being the eldest sibling in a single
mother Asian home, being a first generation Canadian, being fluent in a language that my
parent was not, having a cultural disconnect with my heritage, and a sudden appearance of
anxiety and depression, young preteen Miyuki believed that the best way to be of help to
everyone, was to live for them, and not herself.

Now back to first person.

Somewhere along the line I realized that I no longer had strong passions like I used to, my
opinions were not as prevalent as they once were and I had essentially lost all sense of self. It
was an extremely disorienting time and quite difficult to cope with.

But I was lucky, in that despite all the years I had basically lost, I had won. I sought help,
received it, and took off on a never ending bumpy trail that taught me how to rebuild and
re-centre myself.

Today I am someone who—though not perfect or where I want to be quite yet—I am proud
of. Sure I have lost much of my gusto and bravery, but instead I was able to learn empathy
and openness, humility and patience (which I really had none of back in the day) and all of
the traits in the word cloud above that represent who I am today.

2. In what situations are some of your personality traits amplified? Why do you do
this?

My personality traits are quite similar to each other, so it is quite obvious that these next
examples would be used.
Some examples of situations where some of my personality traits are amplified…:

- Social situations
- When helping others (emotional support, group work, etc.)
- When doing community/volunteer work
- When working with children/youth

My personality traits are often amplified in these situations because I have developed an
almost intense need (to an unhealthy point I’ve recently discovered) to put others before
myself. This is not a “flex” or a “brag”, but just the simple reason as to why my traits are
amplified during these situations. These actions can easily be explained by my past, which is
summarized up in the answer above.

3. Do you have any personality traits that make your life more difficult? If you
were to change these traits, how might you go about doing that?

List of traits that make my life more difficult:

- Submissiveness
- Anxiousness
- Impulsiveness
- Insecureness
- Trusting (too much)
- Patience

Over the past two years I have been slowly trying to change these traits by learning where my
boundaries are and timidly (it’s a start) trying to lay them out when I feel uncomfortable. I
also actively self-reflect and try to put aside time to clear my mind to improve my mental
state and gently start stepping out of my comfort zone to help build up confidence.

4. What traits separates you from the rest of the people in your group of friends?
Family? This class?

Although I believe that every single person that surrounds me has some, if not all of these
traits at varying degrees, I believe it is my almost excessive feel of these traits that I consider
to separate me from others in my community.

Traits that separate me from others around me:

- HSP (highly sensitive person)

- Self-awareness
- Empathetic
- Openness
- Emotional
- Trusting
 - Patience

Some more on HSP​:

HSP (highly sensitive person) or sensory processing sensitivity (SPS), is a “​neutral trait that
evolved in 20% of the human population and many non-human species as well, because it is a
survival advantage in some situations and not in others.” (​https://hsperson.com/faq/spd-vs-sps/​)
This means that ⅕ people are HSP. It is also important to note that HSP is NOT a sensory disorder
of any kind, but HSP's are more prone to having anxiety and/or depression depending on their
environments and/or upbringings.

While HSP’s are known to be more shy, introverted, and neurotic, “[d]ue to vantage sensitivity,
when HSPs are in the right environment and getting their needs met, they tend to thrive and exhibit
many valuable traits such as enhanced perception, empathy, creativity and detail-orientation.”
(​https://www.expansiveheart.com/highly-sensitive-person​) Speaking more to that, while most
HSP’s are introverted, ​“[a]pproximately 30% of HSPs are extroverts while some are also​ High
Sensation Seekers (HSS)​ who need higher levels of novelty to feel satisfied.”
(​https://www.expansiveheart.com/highly-sensitive-person​)

Truth be told, I had never heard about this trait before, and questioned its validity. But upon some
research and the conclusion that this wouldn’t cause anyone harm, I delighted in finding another
label that helped articulate how I felt.

I can best describe myself as an emotional HSP with a mix of sensual HSP.

Here are a few resources I first found out about HSP through:

This is a screenshot from an instagram page called @​dlcanxiety​ that posts informational and
uplifting posts for those with anxiety, those who know others with anxiety, or those just curious
about learning about anxiety.
Upon seeing this, it shocked me. I experience every single one of those signs in different ways and
with varying tolerances. What was most surprising was that I related so heavily with something I
had never heard of before.

Psych2Go​: “​Your weekly dose of fun and interesting psychology, creepy psychology,
psychopaths, serial killers, pop psychology, political psychology. Pretty much what ever you
learn in school, but just in a way that you can apply and relate.”

8 Signs You’re a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP): ​https://youtu.be/zP1Ac8fXBjE

6 Different Types of Highly Sensitive People: ​https://youtu.be/ys6zzEqHEg4

13 Problems Only Highly Sensitive People Will Understand: ​https://youtu.be/TPR1P_D8zjY

10 Strengths of a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP): ​https://youtu.be/UEwJtYsu6Zo

5. What rewards and punishments have you experienced that have shaped you into
who you are?

Rewards Punishments

- Becoming President of the Interact Club of - Raised in an Asian household

Whistler
- Losing family members
- Having great friends with whom I learned
much about communication and - Single mother household
compromise
- Depressive episodes, anxiety attacks, and
- Being a mixed Asian and Canadian panic attacks

- Being able to mediate conflicts - Getting my first B (letter grade)

successfully

6. What are some goals that you have that shape your personality?

Goals for my personality:

- Be more confident
- Be bold and assertive
- Learn to draw boundaries and how to say “no”
- Learn to care for myself as I do others
- Don’t be afraid to raise my voice (figuratively)