Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Jean Boase-Beier
All poetry translators have their own method of translating and many translators use
circumstances. There are those such as Robert Bly, translator of Rilke and many
other poets, who have given a number of distinct stages the process involves (Bly
1984). Others, such as Clive Scott (2000), have rejected the idea that there could be a
stage of reading separate from the act of translation (see also Boase-Beier 2006: 31-
32). If I propose a three-stage process here, it is in the hope that this will be
that is rarely so linear, a set of stages which are rarely, in the real act of translation,
completely discrete.
Broadly speaking, then, and with all these caveats, I would say that there are three
stages involved in the translation of a poem, and that they are as follows:
assumed to result from choices and thus to reflect the mind (of author,
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(ii) Consideration of one’s own readerly engagement with the poem and its
(iii) Translation, or the writing of a new text, taking into account both the
mind behind the poem and its effects upon the mind of the translator in
It will be seen from the above description of the translation process that I am
assuming poetry reflects a mind and interacts with minds: it is not just a matter of
cognitive stylistic approaches to poetry and to literary language in general, such as are
exemplified by Stockwell (2002), Gavins & Steen (2003), or Semino & Culpeper
(2006). In the case of (i) above, the assumption is informed by Fowler’s notion of
mind style (1977; 1996: 214), the style of a text which, in its regularities and other
features, reflects the mind which gave rise to it (see also Semino 2002). As far as the
response theories such as those of Iser (1974) or (1979) on the one hand and views of
the literary text as an affective entity (e.g. Pilkington 2000), on the other. And, in
keeping with the common view (see e.g. Diaz-Diocaretz 1985:1) that translation is
both reading and writing, I suggest there is a third “stage” ((iii) above) which seeks to
combine a reconstructed author - who is not the real author but a mind constructed by
the reader - with some sense of the effects of the poem on the reader, bringing them
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2. The divergence of target poem from source poem
In his 1998 book Translating Style, Parks maintains that “divergences between
original and translation tend to be of a different kind for each author and to point to
the peculiar nature of his or her style and the overall vision it implies” (1998: vii).
Parks was talking here of the Italian translations of modernist novels; the authors he is
concerned with are Barbara Pym, D.H. Lawrence and others. But there seems no
reason to suppose that the same observation will not hold true of original and
translated poems. If this is so, there are several potential consequences for translating
poetry:
(i) a comparison of target and source poems might give us insight into the
“vision” of the original poet (or the vision which informs the poem)
(ii) such access to a poet’s “vision” could be used to inform other translations
poems might tell us something about the nature of poems in general, and
about their translation; such knowledge might in turn be useful for poetic
translation.
The bracketed phrase in (i) indicates that we do not, as reader-translators, know that
the vision we are getting in the poem is that of the poet; we have no access to the poet
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beyond that of a figure or mentality reconstructed by our own reading. The word
poetry, including Joachim Utz’ translations of Wilfred Owen (1993), the translation of
Michael Hamburger’s poems in Dove’s edited volume (2004), the English translations
of Georg Trakl by Will Stone (2005), those of Rose Ausländer by Ewald Osers
aware that I was not concerned to discover anything about the quality of the
translations. Most of the translations considered are the work of German or English
poets, and there is no reason to call their quality into question. What I am concerned
with is the divergence of target from original, the point at which such a divergence
arises, and what it tells us about the poetry and about poetic translation. Just two
examples will be quoted in this article for illustration. The first is the poem ‘Winter
The poem describes an early morning view of the garden, and the thoughts
this view gives rise to. A comparison of the German target poem with its English
original reveals that the first stanza keeps very close to the original, but that there is a
significant divergence in the second stanza around lines 11-15 (10-14 in the original
poem). These few lines are quoted here, first in the original English, and then in the
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11 Silence before the foraging birds descend,
A comparison of the lines in (1) and (2) suggests that three things stand out in
(i) Mondlicht (2: line 11) is moonlight. But “moonshine” (1: line 10)
and so it echoes both the first word in the poem, which is “dream”, and
the word “dubious”, which occurs twice in the previous 9 lines of the
poem. There are indeed equivalents for the earlier words “dream” and
“dubious” in the German poem, but the word Mondlicht does not echo
them.
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(ii) There is sound parallelism (both alliteration and rhyme) in “no
moonshine” (1: line 10) and “no more mine” (1: line 12) which links the
lack of illusion with the inability to possess the garden. But the German
has very different word order with wenig at the end of line 13 (‘mine so
(iii) There is ambiguity in the word “those” (1: line 14). The sequence “The
garden was” … “Than those will be” (lines 13 and 14) suggests that ‘those
gardens’ is what is meant. But the “whom” later in line 14 clearly suggests
‘those people’. This ambiguity reflects what is now seen to have been a
earlier context to plants, but now appear to refer to plants and people
alike. What happens is that at this point in the poem, because of this
and so on.
However, in the German version in (2), lines 14 and 15 separate Garten (garden) and
jene (those), so that the garden-people link is far less obvious. In addition, because
there is in German no relative pronoun equivalent to English “whom”, which can only
refer to people, the jene of line 15 suggests people much less strongly than the
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English. If the English is at this point ambiguous, suggesting one meaning (garden)
with “those” and another (people) with “whom”, the German is simply vague.
What this brief comparison of these four lines tells us is that there is an
especial concentration of divergences from the German source poem at this point. If
Parks is right, then these four lines mark out the essential vision of the poet Michael
Hamburger: that gardens are a metaphor for relationships, that because gardens are
real and cannot be owned or controlled, so, too, relationships cannot. A brief
‘Winter Solstice, 1999’ is taken reveals that 15 of the 47 poems, that is, nearly one-
third, have titles suggesting nature, gardens, weather or seasons. Looking at poems
with other titles reveals that many of these have a first phrase to do with nature:
“Uprooted words” (p. 78), “Though wilderness loosens every gate” (p. 75),
“Wormwood and rue” (p. 59) or “After gale and flood” (p. 56) are examples; there are
many more. This article is not the place to pursue a study of Hamburger’s poetry, but
it does not seem unlikely that the divergences noted in these few lines from the
original poem point, in Parks’ words, to the “overall vision” of the poet.
The second example is taken from Wilfred Owen’s poem ‘Futility’ and its German
translation, Joachim Utz’s ‘Vergeblichkeit’ (Utz 1993: 102; 103; Owen 1990: 135).
This is the poem which famously begins “Move him into the sun”; it describes a dead
man, a victim of war, and speculates on why he was born if only to end as a cold
Again this is a poem of two stanzas, and again the first stanza is very close in
target and source texts. Interestingly, the most obvious divergence begins in almost
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the same place as in the Hamburger / Wurm poems, around line 9. Here are lines 8
In the English version, one tends to read “cold” as a transferred epithet: cold clay
suggests death and graves. Cold dust in (4) has less obvious connotations, though dust
But an even stronger divergence comes in line 12 in both versions. Here are
lines 10-12 in the English source poem (5) and the German target (6):
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In the English (5: line 12) the phrase “the clay grew tall” is extremely odd. Clay in the
sense of earth cannot usually be seen as tall, so we tend to understand clay here in its
other meaning of ‘human substance’. Dust, in the German (6: line 12) does not have
this other meaning. But, more than this, groß can mean either tall or big. ‘Tall’ seems
a less likely collocation with dust, and so we tend to read the adjective as ‘big’.
We do not have this option with the English word “tall”. Arising from the
interpretations:
The second of these interpretations, (b), will be activated if we associate clay with the
battles of the First World War. It is something which other First World War poets
such as Siegfried Sassoon mention, describing the “sucking mud” and “slime” of the
battlefield (in ‘Counter-Attack’ Reeves 1962: 95). And Wilfred Owen himself
described the clay in several letters; he said the ground was “not mud … but an
The linguistic divergences in the German poem at this point mean that it
suggests the end rather than the origin of human life, and that it provides no link with
the trenches of the battlefields. This is a major divergence. In keeping with Parks’
view, it could be expected to signal Owen’s vision, which we might, on this basis,
promise unfulfilled, ebbing off into dull sameness which denies individuality.
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Thus we see again that, irrespective of the stylistic features of the original
poems, the divergence of target from source points to what is central in the poet’s
vision.
The divergence of translation from source text that Parks (1998) notices is, I will
maintain, not only a point that expresses the poet’s vision but it is directly related to a
Riffaterre’s term (1959: 172) for “a heaping up of stylistic features working together”.
This convergence of stylistic features is linked to the concept of the eye of the poem,
which, in Chinese poetics, deriving from the notion of adding the eye to a painted
poem, which requires a great deal of thought and concentration on the part of the poet
(Desheng Song: oral communication). It is also the “central pivot on which the poem
turns”, according to Freeman (2005: 40). The term “eye of the poem” has at least the
similar to the eye of the storm, or the region “in the centre of a hurricane”
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(ii) that it is a vantage point, as in the other sense of the eye of the storm: the
“opening between the storm clouds” that the sun shines through (Evans
the poem” relates to “a poet’s ability to see through things” (Amy Liang:
oral communication);
(iii) that it is a point at which the reader can look into the poem. This aspect is
soul” (1958: 81), that is, that which gives us access to the soul or mind, or
vision. In modern Chinese thinking, this aspect of the “eye of the poem”
relates to the notion of “the soul of the poem”, the meaning which a reader
(iv) that, in analogy to the eye in Chinese painting, it is the point which gives
life to a poem.
The eye of the poem, then, is a crucial point in the poem, which both expresses the
poem’s vision and allows the reader access to the cognitive state informing the poem.
In stylistic terms, I would suggest that the eye of the poem is recognisable by, firstly,
prominent” (Wales 2001: 157), and which, metaphorically speaking, attract the eye of
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the reader, and, secondly, by ambiguity, which allows the poem to be read in at least
In the German examples given above, it is easy to see that there is a particular
features”) at the points noted as diverging most from their originals. In example (1),
the Hamburger poem, the lines 10-14, the point at which the German version diverged
(i) words which belong to semantic chains, or series of words from the same
semantic field, started up earlier in the poem. The words in question at this
(ii) sound repetition of “no moonshine” (line 10) and “no more mine” (line 12);
In addition to this concentration of phonetic and lexical stylistic features there is the
ambiguity of “moonshine” (line 10), mentioned in the previous section because its
absence in the German version marks one of the greatest divergences between the
source and target texts, and there is also the ambiguity of “those” in line 14, which
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appears to refer to both gardens and people. These ambiguous words both suggest
ideas central to the poet’s vision: the link between sight, illusion and half-light and the
would include
(ii) the presence of the word “clay” in line 12, which is part of the semantic
(iii) the para-rhyme (“tall” – “toil” – “at all”) which links lines 12, 13 and 14 (and
echoes a similar pattern of para-rhyme in the last three lines of the first
stanza)
The ambiguity of “clay” (a word already used in line 4) in line 12 becomes apparent
here because of the semantic anomaly noted in (i): it can suggest death, as in line 9, or
than in contrast to the German version, we note that their effect is likely to be that
described in many studies of foregrounding: they hold the reader up, because they are
striking and demand attention (cf. Miall & Kuiken 1994: 392); they also give rise to
what Shklovsky, contrasting it with knowledge, referred to as “vision” (1965: 18), and
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“emotional effect” (p. 9; see also Miall & Kuiken 1994: 392). Because they are
combined with instances of ambiguity, they are doubly difficult to process, and
questions which concern the poet (in the reader’s reconstruction). In Hamburger’s
case the ambiguity centres around the question as to whether relationships, like
gardens, resist control and possession. In Owen’s case the question is whether humans
are destined to become solely part of the earth and whether indeed there is anything in
them that differentiates them from the earth (not a surprising preoccupation, given the
conditions in the trenches in which, as many First World War poets and other
participants observed, bodies became part of the clay in a very real sense). In both
cases, the stylistic convergence and the ambiguity point to metaphors central for each
poet’s vision: the relationship as garden in Hamburger’s case and the body as clay in
Owen’s.
If the ambiguities in the two poems involve the reader in testing out alternative
interpretations, and searching for alternative contexts to interpret the poet’s vision,
then it is no coincidence that they occur at the points at which stylistic foregrounding
has slowed reading. If searching is more pleasurable to us than finding or being given
(cf. Grandin & Johnson 2005: 95f.), then the points I have designated as the eye of the
poem will also give the reader most satisfaction. The reader of Hamburger’s poem
will be called upon to search for contexts in her own knowledge of gardens while
exploring the philosophical inquiry about the way they reflect relationships. The
reader of Owen’s poem will need to search through her knowledge of wars, including
pictures seen and accounts read of the First World War and other wars as well as other
types of desecration of the earth, while at the same time pondering upon human
beings’ relationship with it. We need enough of the poem’s internal context to trigger
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our search for our own cognitive contexts, so it is not surprising that the points I have
designated in each case as the eye of the poem occur towards the end of the poems in
question. They also need to pick up stylistic patterns set up earlier in the poem. And
they need to trigger a re-reading of what has already been read. In Hamburger’s case,
the relationship and in Owen’s the deviant ‘clay grew tall’ demands a re-reading of
The eye of the poem, then, is the locus for the poet’s vision and it serves at the same
time to make the reader consider that vision carefully by searching for and
reinterpreting her own contexts, thus mirroring, while reading the poem, the poet’s (or
narrator’s) concerns.
I have suggested that comparing a translated poem with its original will allow us to
that observed by Parks (1998) in Italian translations of modernist English novels. But
it has also been my intention to show that the divergence which such comparison
illuminates coincides with a point of stylistic convergence within the poem itself. This
point, which I have compared to the Chinese notion of the eye of the poem, is further
marked by both ambiguity and the presence of metaphors characterising the vision
If stylistic analysis alone will allow us to identify the eye of the poem then
why, one might ask, need one bother to compare a translation and original to arrive at
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the same point? There are, I think, two reasons. One is simply that the divergence
between target and source texts coinciding with internal convergence provides far
stronger evidence for the presence of the eye of the poem as a general phenomenon
than would internal evidence alone. And the second is that the divergence might in
identified, in both these ways, a point which we can consider the eye of the poem, we
the beginning of section 2, in points (i) and (ii), help in reconstructing a poet’s vision
could help us translate other work by that poet. We would expect to find other
in his style, and of Owen’s concern, also expressed in his stylistic choices, for the
blending (in a cognitive sense – see, for example, Turner 1996: 52ff. -) of humans
with the earth. More importantly, perhaps, as point (iii) suggests, the discovery that
poems do indeed seem to have an eye, and that this is not always identified by the
translator, might suggest that we revisit the three stages given in Section 1 for the
translation of a poem. The first of these stages, stylistic analysis, would now be seen
to include identification of the eye of the poem. This is important because it will allow
us access to the poem’s vision but in practical terms its importance lies in its
concentration of stylistic figures, especially because these are likely, if they represent
a mind style in Fowler’s terms (1996: 214), to be part of consistent patterns. The eye
of the poem should thus help the translator to identify important semantic, lexical or
translated and original poems to help argue that a poem has an eye, its confirmation
by stylistic analysis should allow it to be identified using the latter method alone. The
second stage, consideration of the reader’s engagement with the text, will now be seen
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to include such things as the interpretation of the metaphors likely to be expressed at
this point in the poem and the search for contexts to allow several meanings to be
explored, if, as I have maintained, this point in the poem is also characterised by an
ambiguity which lies at the heart of the vision the poem expresses. The third stage, the
translation, will involve making sure that the ambiguity driving the poem’s vision is
neither closed off by disambiguation nor disabled by a lack of lexical and syntactic
counterparts earlier (and later) in the poem which bear out both the meanings. Though
it is not my intention here to criticise the translations I have considered – their sole
function in this paper was to help identify the point of greatest divergence from the
into account some of the features I have mentioned and resulted in a translated poem
with a clearly identifiable eye might have rendered divergence from the original
vision less great. But would that be compatible with the translator’s intention? Any
poet-translator might quite reasonably argue that what she or he has set out to do is to
create a poem that works in the target language and that divergence from the original
is neither here nor there. I would counter this potential argument with the following: if
a poem (like a painted dragon) needs an eye, then translation which preserves the eye
I should like to thank the British Academy for funding my attendance at the Poetics
2006, at which I gave a very early version of this paper. Thanks to all participants for
feedback there.
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The present article has been published in Polish translation in Przekładaniec, 17
(2/2006) in Krakow.
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Hamburger, M. (2000) Intersections, London: Anvil.
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Shklovsky, V. (1965) ‘Art as Technique’, in Lemon, L. & M. Reis, trs. and eds.,
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