We all have a tendency to think we can do things on our own

If you want to make God laugh, you tell him what you're plans are
I have a strong faith in God and I don't know how people live without it
I try to keep life simple. Do you realize there are only seven colors of the rainbow only seven
Look what Michelangelo did with those seven colors. There's only seven musical notes
Look what Beethoven did with those seven notes
See you need four things in your life
If you don't have any of these four things in your life, you're gonna have a tremendous void
See everybody needs something to do
Number two. Everybody needs someone to love
Number three, everybody needs someone to believe it in my case is Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior
But the fourth thing you need in your life. You need something to hope for
What do you want to do?
Having hopes and dreams and ambition
See there's a rule of life that says your either growing
or you're dying
The trees either growing or it's dying so is grass so is a marriage so is a business so is a person
There's only three rules you have to follow
Law number one do what's right
Do what's right and avoid what's wrong and if you have any doubt get out the Bible
There's never a right time to do the wrong thing and there's never a wrong time to do the right thing
Just do what's right. I think it's right be honest right be on time
I think it's wrong to be bitter. We've all had injustices done
By society by spouse by professor. Enjoy life have fun. You're going to have problems. You're gonna
have difficulties
That's part of life. If you have fun doing something people have fun being around
Everyday I walked out on the football field first thing I said boy, what a great day to work and I meant it
Don't let other people control your attitude. That's you
Rule number two do everything to the best of your ability
with time allotted
Everybody can be the best or capable of being
And I want to tell you if you want to fail you have the right to fail
That's what's great about this country. You do not have the right to cause other people to fail
Because you don't do everything best your ability when you join a spouse you bring a child in the world
You join a business you join a team. You have obligation
responsibilities and you owe it to other people to do the maximum you can at each everything you do
Don't blame anybody else
But if you get an education you're willing to work and overcome problems and difficulties in this great
country you can amount to something
The last rule is show people you care
Everybody you're going to meet the rest of your life needs a smile, needs a kind word, needs
encouragement
That's all God wants us to do. Do the right thing. I wish I'd knew those three rules when I was 21
I've used them for the last 40 years. There's a statue of me at Notre Dame
Just go look at three words on the pedestal trust
Commitment, love. Those are the three rules I had for my children my team
My greatest accomplishment is not coaching not TV not speaking
My greatest accomplishments is my family and I'm very proud of it
You can't take your money to heaven, but I'll tell you something. You could sure take your children to
heaven with you
I leave you with this very last thought. Want to be happy for an hour
Eat a steak. Want to be happy for a day play golf
Want to be happy for a week go on a cruise
Want to be happy for a month buy a new car. Want to be happy for a year win the lottery
Want to be happy for a lifetime
Put your faith in Jesus Christ
the wisest person I ever met in my life
a third-grade dropouts why is this and
drop out in the same sentence as rather
oxymoronic like jumbo shrimp mm-hmm like
fun run
ain't nothing fun about it like
Microsoft Works y'all don't hear me
I used to say like country music but
I've lived in Texas so long I love
country music now I bet ya I hunt I
finish I have cowboy boots and cowboy
y'all I'm a black Nick redneck do you
hear what I'm sayin no longer oxymoronic
for me to say country music and it's not
oxymoronic for me to say third grade and
drop out that third grade dropout the
wisest person I ever met in my life who
taught me to combine knowledge and
wisdom to make an impact was my father a
simple cook why is this man ever men in
my life
just a simple cook left school in the
third grade to help out on the family
farm but just because he left school
doesn't mean a Jessica education stop
Mark Twain once said I've never allowed
my schooling to get in the way in my
education my father taught himself how
to read taught himself how to write
decided in the midst of Jim Crow ISM as
America was breeding the last gasp of
the Civil War my father decided he was
going to stand and be a man not a black
man not a brown man not a white man but
a man he literally challenged himself to
be the best that he could all the days
of his life I have four degrees my
brother is a judge
we're not the smartest ones in our
family it's a third grade dropout Danny
a third grade dropout daddy who was
quoting Michelangelo saying those boys I
won't have a problem if you aim high and
miss but I'm gonna have a real issue if
you aim low and hit a country mother
quoting Henry Ford saying if you think
you can or if you think you can't you're
right I learned that from a third grade
drop simple lessons lessons like these
son you'd rather be an hour early than a
minute late we never knew what time it
was in my house cuz the clocks were
always ahead
my mother said for nearly 30 years my
father left the house at 3:45 in the
morning one day she asked him why daddy
he said maybe one of my boys will catch
me in the act of excellence I want to
share two things with you Aristotle said
you are what you repeatedly do
therefore excellent taught me I have it
not an act don't ever forget that I know
you're tough but always remember to be
kind always don't ever forget that never
embarrass mama mm-hmm yeah if mama ain't
happy ain't nobody happy
if daddy ain't happy don't nobody care
but you know I'm tell you next lesson
lesson from a cook over there in the
galley son make sure your servants towel
is bigger than your ego ego is the
anesthesia the deadens the pain of
stupidity
y'all might have a relative in mind you
want to send that to let me say it again
ego is the anesthesia that Denton's the
pain of stupidity pride is the burden of
a foolish person John Wooden coached
basketball in UCLA for a living but his
calling was the impact people and with
all those national championships guess
what he was found doing in the middle of
the week going into the cupboard
grabbing a broom and sweeping his own
gym floor
you want to make an impact find your
borough every day of your life you find
your broom you grow your influence step
way that way you're attracting people so
that you can impact them final lesson
son
you're gonna do a job doing right
I've always been told
how average I can be always been
criticized about being average but I
want to tell you something I stand here
before you before all of these people
not listening to those words but telling
myself every single day to shoot for the
stars to be the best that I can be good
enough isn't good enough if it can be
better and better isn't good enough if
it can be best let me close with a very
personal story that I think will bring
all this into focus wisdom will come to
you in the unlikeliest of sources a lot
of times through failure when you hit
rock-bottom remember this while you're
struggling rock-bottom can also be a
great foundation on which to build and
on which to grow I'm not worried that
you'll be successful I'm worried that
you won't fail from time to time person
that gets up off the canvas and keeps
growing that's the person that will
continue to grow their influence back in
the 70s to help me make this point let
me introduce you to someone I'm at the
finest woman I've ever met in my life
mm-hmm back in my day we'd have called
her a brick house
this woman was the finest woman I'd ever
seen in my life there's just one little
problem back then ladies didn't like big
old linemen The Blind Side hadn't come
out yet they liked quarterbacks and
running backs breathless dance and I
find out her name is Trina Williams from
Lompoc California and we were all
dancing and we're just just excited and
I decide in the middle of dancing with
her that I would ask her for a phone
number
she Katrina was the first one Trina was
the only woman in college who gave me
her real telephone number the next day
we walked to Baskin and Robbins ice
cream parlor my friends couldn't believe
it this has been 40 years ago and my
friend still can't believe it we go on a
second date and a third date and a
fourth date mm-hmm we drive from Chico
to Vallejo so that she could meet my
parents my father meets her my daddy my
hero he meets her pulls me to the side
and says is she psycho but anyway we go
together for a year two years three
years four years by now Trina's a senior
in college I'm still a freshman but I'm
working some things out
I'm so glad I graduated in four terms
Nixon Ford Carter Reagan so now it's
time to propose so I talked to her
girlfriends and it's California it's in
the 70s so it has to be outside have to
have a candle and have to have you know
some chocolate listen I'm from the hood
had a bottle of Boone's Farm wine that's
what I had she said yes that was the key
I married the most beautiful woman I've
ever seen him I y'all ever been to a
wedding and even before the wedding
starts you hear this how in the world
and it was coming from my side of the
family
we get married we have a few children
our lives are great one day Trina finds
a lump in her left breasts breast cancer
six years after that diagnosis me and my
two little boys walked up to mommy's
casket and for two years my heart didn't
beat it wasn't for my faith in God I
wouldn't be standing here today if it
wasn't for those two little boys there'd
have been no reason for which to go on I
was completely lost dad was rock bottom
you know what sustained me the wisdom of
a third grade dropout the wisdom of a
simple cook we're at the casket I'd
never seen my dad cry but this time I
saw my dad cry that was his daughter
Trina was his daughter not his
daughter-in-law and I'm right behind my
father about to see her for the last
time on this earth and my father shared
three words with me two changed my life
right there at the casket it would be
the last lesson he would ever teach me
he said son just stand you keep standing
you keep sitting no matter how rough the
sea you keep standing and I'm not
talking about just water you keep
standing no matter what you don't give
up and as clearly as I'm talking to you
today these were some of her last words
to me she looked me in the eye and she
said it doesn't matter to me any longer
how long I live what matters to me most
is how I live
- all one question a question that I was
asked all my life by a third grade
dropout how you live in how you live in
every day asked yourself that question
how you live in here's here's what a
cook would suggest you to live this way
that you would not judge that you would
show up early that you'd be kind that
you make sure that that servants town is
huge and used that if you're gonna do
something you do it the right way that
that cook would tell you this that it's
never wrong to do the right thing that
how you do anything is how you do
everything and in that way you will grow
your influence to make an impact in that
way you will honor all those who have
gone before you who have invested in you
look in those unlikeliest places for is
enhance your life every day by seeking
that wisdom and asking yourself every
night how am i living
[Music]
my grandmother became my first hero
growing up my grandmother never used an
alarm clock but every morning my
grandmother would wake up at 4:15 and at
4:16 her feet would hit the floor
usually right in front of my face and
that's what would wake me up but I would
lay there and I would pretend like I was
still asleep because me and 4:15 really
didn't get along but grandma would look
at the back of my head I could feel her
staring at me and then finally she would
say now sugar grandmama know you ain't
sleep you just want to go on and get on
up and get ready for school
my grandmother was known for saying
things that would kind of make you a
little angry because they made so much
sense
you can argue other parents you know
there's things that you when you become
parents you start to say to your own
kids my grandmother would say now son
you knew when you lay down there last
night that you had to get up this
morning I don't know why every single
morning you lay there in that surprise
he asked to be faithful that the lowest
saw fit to wake you up this in your
right my but what my grandmother was
encouraging me to do was simply to be
grateful for the opportunity in spite of
all that I had been through in my life
she just wanted to make sure that I
understood the opportunity that I've
been given my life got started it was a
little rough a little rough start I was
born too much premature my mother was
walking up a flight of stairs and she
had noticed at the time but a woman she
had had an argument with earlier was
standing above her holding a pot of
boiling water
as my mom made her way up those stairs
that woman dumped that water onto my mom
and since her tumbling down the stairs
need to premature labor she was here 30
degree burns over 25 percent of her body
and when we were finally allowed to
leave the hospital as you can imagine my
mom was in a great deal of pain those
burners just nearly barely missed her
face and covered most of the front of
her body so when we got home she began
taking a heavy sedative pain medication
to help her recover when she took that
medication it was very difficult for her
to watch me so I would bounce around a
lot I'd stay with my mom for a little
bit and I'd go stay with Grandma
now I stay with some neighbors of
aunties and then back to my mother's
house I did that for the first three
years of my life I was three years old I
was back to a mom's house and I got it
to her person I found that medication I
swallowed everything in the bottle when
they found me they rushed me to the
hospital
and my heart would stop and eventually I
wanted to a coma but because of that
accident because of that incident the
state of California they did an
investigation and the conclusion that
they came to us that it wasn't an
accident they removed me from my
mother's home made a ward of the ward of
the state and eventually I went into a
foster care system
shortly after I arrived to one of my
foster homes my foster mom her name's
miss Alexander
miss Alexander began lock him inside the
closet you know like she'd opened the
closet door she kicked me hitting me
with a stick or a strap or whatever see
whatever she had it was while I was in
that foster home that I was sexually
abused for the first time
oftentimes people will ask you know if
that has to be a worst thing that could
happen to something I've scars on my
body that you can't see
have a burn here in my hand that she
would deal with an iron but all that
pain went away
worse teen that mrs. Alexander would do
is to open the closet door she was
standing over me she would say it you
stupid and you never amount to nothing
that hurt me more than any other
physical kicks on the physical team
because I believed it for a long time I
believed that that I would never amount
to anything just like she said
I didn't notice at the time I found out
a little bit later but my grandmother my
healer she had started going back and
forth to court trying to prove that she
could take care of an active handsome
little Ward and eventually the state of
California they granted her full custody
of me and I'll never forget I was I will
never forget standing on this
Alexander's front porch waiting
she had my little belongings everything
that I had I remember standing there you
may have only been a half an hour but it
felt like an eternity and I can remember
thinking maybe no one's coming after a
while at the end of the block I see the
ugliest car I've ever seen in my life
and the car pulls up right in front of
the porch and I remember all I can see
these two big glasses bifocals and I
found out later that grandma had
glaucoma she wasn't supposed to be
driving but she gets out of that big car
and she's got on this white floppy hat
with this it was a flower right there in
the middle and I remember she had on
this long white dress that came all the
way down to her ankles and I found out
later that you know that was Grandma
Sunday best it was not fit that she only
reserved for special occasions I can
remember for once in my life feeling
like I was some special occasion
I remember jumping into grandma's arms
and squeezing her and I remember her
whispering and saying to me everything's
ok your family and everything was ok
just like grandmother said and I had a
lot to look forward to I found out that
my mom was going to court trying to
prove that she could take care of me and
I could remember sitting there with my
mother and we we talked and we had a lot
of different conversations one thing I
can remember saying mama you know one
day when I get big I'm about your nice
house with a fireplace said mama one day
I'm a-gonna body with nice car not like
Grandmama's and get you a nice home but
the truth is I just really wanted to
become a family again
and that's what I looked forward to when
I was 12 years old I was asleep on my
grandmother's floor it was about 4
o'clock in the morning we get a knock on
the door and it was my mom's roommate
miss how I miss how I come quick miss
how was my grandma she said come quick
it's Ruth Ruth was my mom so I can't
wake her up I think she's dead I can
remember laying on that floor you know
kind of wishing it was thinking hoping
but it was maybe a dream but it wasn't
and that's how I found out that all the
hopes and dreams and things that I had
to look forward to weren't gonna happen
I became very angry I became confused I
was hurt I didn't really understand what
was happy
I started acting out hanging out with
wrong people breaking in houses started
stealing cars
I remembered not really caring what
happened to me continue that behavior
until I was 19 I was 19 I was very
myself standing in front of the judge I
was handcuffed had a chain around my
waist and wear handcuffs were attached
to that chain the judge looked at me
since the state of California sentences
you 15 years in prison for armed robbery
and assault gentlemen that day when that
door closed behind me for the first time
as a convicted felon I remember standing
in that empty cell remember I need
started to get weak and they start to
shake uncontrollably and I collapsed I
fell to the floor I just started crying
alone I remember hearing voices heard
the voice of my foster mom saying you
stupid me whenever Mountain nothing
heard the voice of family members and
friends of family I said that boys end
up just like his father my father was a
career criminal I can remember laying
there thinking to myself that this is
where I'm gonna die but here's what
happened that would change my life
shortly after I arrived to that prison
there was an educator there his name was
Charles Lyell's 6 to 3 ex-marine
and I don't know what it was about me
but every time he saw me he said hey mr.
Humphrey he has his big smile on his
face I smile that my kids would say
that's creepy but he's smiling he said
hey mr. Humphrey how are you doing he
always called me mr. Humphrey you gave
me that respect he walked into my cell
he looked at me he said mr. Humphrey
says prison doesn't have to be your life
he says you can get out of here and you
can do great things she started to walk
away him before he walked out of my cell
he turned around one last time he says
mr. Humphrey I said yes sir he says I
believe in you he walked out of my cell
and if he I continue to stand there he
would have seen the tears running down
my face because no one had ever said
that to me but I remember just thinking
to myself I'm gonna make some changes
and I'm gonna change my life and a
little over four years after the day I
could originally collapsed and fell to
the floor I walked out of that prison
that was over 18 years ago I've never
been back other than the mentor and help
other people but here's what I know I
know that when you've had a rough life
when you feel unwanted I know that when
you have hopes and dreams and when you
have things that you can look forward to
and when you have people in place that
support you and push you I know that
that gives you a reason to live it is a
great day to be alive and that's
something that I haven't always said but
now it's something that I say to myself
every single day at some point if I'm
having a great day or a bad day that's
something that I say but what I also
understand is that what my grandmother
was taking her higher power for each and
every day was for the opportunity that
she'd been given
and she never missed an opportunity to
tell anyone that would listen especially
me it's a great day
[Music]
well I'm not supposed to be here I'm
actually not supposed to be alive I
thought I was going to die I felt like I
was in prison I was scared I was born in
Abbotsford British Columbia Canada on
December 21st 1969 my parents Elio and
William Ranallo were immigrants from
Italy who of course like so many
millions of others came to North America
looking for a better life and they put
down roots on our six acre farm at a
very young age I knew that there was
something a little different with me in
terms of the way I reacted to people and
and sounds and I became infatuated with
television and radio my father and I
always had issues in terms of who I was
and who he wanted me to be my dad being
your stereotype of the old-school
immigrant dad working hard getting their
hands dirty life is tough nothing is
easy nothing's gonna be given to you I
was the antithesis of that and it caused
a lot of problems between my father and
I growing up I was an artist I was very
high ultra-sensitive
I didn't like doing manual chores and
because of that I became even more ultra
shy where I would lock myself in my room
or being almost a mute at home so in
school I was put in lockers the kid that
was bullied the kid that was picked on
the kid who was made to feel stupid even
though he got great marks it was not a
good time it was a very depressing time
and thankfully one friend that I was
able to make was Michael John Janssen we
lived not too far away from each other
and quickly discovered that we both
shared a love of professional wrestling
you know other kids would make fun of it
or whatever even though most of them
were probably watching I thought wow
this guy gets it we were over at each
other's house every weekend doing their
own wrestling matches and it got to the
point we were putting on wrestling
matches in the hallway at lunch where
you would think the school the
would say okay enough of that no more
they ended up watching us there would be
like a hundred kids making circles
because we like we'd have maths I put
together storylines like we create this
Improv Theater in the hallway and and
people loved it and we're like wow we're
popular now and so he and I just just
had this incredible bond we both enjoyed
the same thing we we both suffered
through the the same thing you know in
terms of socially maybe being a little
awkward otherwise with the girls or
whatnot so he became another member of
my family and when I was 16 my best
friend and I'm Michael John Janssen went
to the high school charity show after
practice the promoter al Tomko was doing
the ring announcing he asked if any of
one of us had handled a microphone
before and Mike starts laughing saying
well Mauro's the biggest month in the
school he's in announcer he loves this
stuff
I end up announcing the rest of the show
at the end of the show the promoter
comes out of the back smiling and he
goes what's her name kid and I said I'm
more over now though you like I think I
have some work for you are you able to
come to the BC TV television studios the
following Tuesday yes for sure
okay great see you then I didn't quite
understand what it just happened but I
had gone from being the shy quirky class
clown with dreams of being on television
one day and working for all-star
wrestling - all of a sudden having the
promoter of all-star wrestling al Tomko
invite me to be CTV television studios
the following week my friend Michael
Jansen lost his mind screaming running
down the hallway Mauro's gonna be on TV
morals gonna be on TV
I was just enthralled with what was
happening and I'm I mean I get
goosebumps now I was over the moon and I
thought this is it I'm I'm gonna become
a superstar my lifelong dream is going
to become a reality
[Music]
on July 7th 1989 his sister Debbie
phoned me so it was about 6:00 in the
morning
I answered the phone half awake and I
thought that his sister Debbie was
laughing but she was in you know just
devastated crying hysterically saying
that something had happened that Michael
was gone I hang up the phone not really
being able to absorb what I just heard I
didn't believe it I guess I I didn't
understand I thought she was making a
joke or I I was totally disconnected
wasn't until I saw my mom that I
completely lost it and it realized that
my best friend had died at the age of 19
due to a heart attack that set off a
spiral downward that resulted in me
being hospitalized by my girlfriend at
the time there was a hurricane in my
mind I felt like I was in prison I was
scared I thought I was going to die and
I was diagnosed with manic depressive
disorder they say that mental health
issues is triggered by traumatic events
and it doesn't get more traumatic -
losing your best friend at the age of 19
and it's not easy it's not easy
[Music]
I got really angry at the doctors and
everyone else who had the audacity of
the temerity to tell me that there was
something wrong with me I'm living the
dream I'm doing more work than anybody
I'm making more money than anyone I know
I'm I'm helping people I'm a good person
what do you mean there's something wrong
with me in my brain and my 20s were a
complete and utter disaster but I was
hospitalized multiple times for the
longest being three months and the toll
that it took on my family my employment
my personal relationships
it is truly I believe a miracle that I
survived my 20s and my refusal to
acknowledge that I was mentally ill so I
did what was necessary I myself to
treatment when I finally admitted that
yes my name is Mauro Ranallo I suffer
from bipolar affective disorder I need
help then and only then that I finally
get to see sustained success in all
realms of my life it almost is because
of my dad and the relationship and the
struggles that we had that proved to be
the fuel that I needed I I continue to
fight and proving to my dad that hey
your son a is not only going to be okay
but be I went on and you know became the
first broadcaster in network television
history to call MMA boxing pro wrestling
and kick boxing on network TV I've
called the two biggest combat sports
pay-per-views in history that is why I
want to share all of my story with
people is because you must never truly
give up and that's why pressure the
cliche says will either burst pipes or
create diamonds
well I've first a lot of pipes and I'm
still that proverbial diamond in the
rough I think we're all in a fight every
day is a fight it's not always a
negative thing a fight a fight sometimes
you're fighting for your voice to be
heard you're fighting for civil rights
all of us have a gift every single human
has a gift and a purpose in life and for
the large majority fear is precluding
them from pursuing their true path
people need people to tell them you know
what it's going to be tough but you can
do it
people need to stop hearing no you're
not good enough no you're not pretty
enough no you're not smart enough
[Music]
my wife came into my life inside to ask
me why is it that you don't talk to your
family that often and I'd told her story
like I didn't I don't think they love me
I don't think they want me
I think they don't appreciate me I don't
think they care honestly so my brothers
l didn't mean about three years and so
the grandparents smother him with love
and then my parents brother Hamlet loves
he's getting love from everywhere what
would happen is often I would be wearing
the same clothes that he wore to school
because it was always first used by him
I get everything secondhand say there
was a matters on the floor and that was
for two people that was me and my
brother now how brothers are me and my
brother start fighting for space because
my brother was bigger than me say it
would push me to a corner but like
though no I need more space I'm bigger
elder than you and as we were arguing
and fighting my mom stormed out of a
room and goes I did go to sleep and I'm
like but I can't go to sleep I don't
have enough space and brothers fighting
me for the space and I can't really
sleep in this little space and my mom
goes no I just go to sleep I take my
pillow and borrow my head into it and I
start sobbing in India when somebody is
a loved child
they called him Mira la which simply
means you had loved one all the time I
used to say he's your la I am you her
which means he's the one that you'd
really love and I'm the one that you're
indifferent towards or you don't care
what I was really trying to say is I
don't feel the love and why I'm why am i
hated so much our life started to change
a little bit because now I was growing
older I was in getting into my teens and
my brother left the city and as he was
moving away the expectations start to
rely a lot more on me and so it was
constantly told hey go become an
engineer you need to go become an
engineer you need to study hard so you
can become an engineer and as I was
studying for these exam as I was
preparing for these exams I realized
that if what I'm studying right now is
what I have to do for the next four
years or for the rest of my life I'm
going to be miserable
and that kind of gave me a dimensional
saying hey why am I doing this I am
doing this because my mom says so then
I've taken many chances in life after
that and every time I would take a
chance if it seemed like the stupid
thing to do but I will constantly take
them because I just knew that what I
really wanted to was I need to be
successful I need to get out of this
house and I was able to do that by the
time I was twenty eight twenty nine
[Music]
seven years later what I'm realizing on
the inside is that my health was
deteriorating I couldn't sleep without a
drink I had grown even more distant to
my parents it was almost like a you know
it's like a task that you check off oh I
should call mom at least once a week
said would be one of those things where
I'm actually doing something else while
she's on speaker right there was no
connection my wife came into my life
inside to ask me why is it that you
don't talk to your family that often and
I had told her story like I didn't I
don't think they love me I don't think
they want me
I think they don't appreciate me I don't
think they care honestly she kind of
said why don't we do this we were going
to India just to travel but you like why
don't we go together and why don't you
bring your parents on and bring your
body brother and your sister-in-law and
their kids to come together and we'll go
to like a retreat center and just hang
out for a couple of days by just four or
five days just hang out and I was like
I've never done that we haven't hung out
since ever
probably and so I we bring the family
together we find this retreat center
close to the city that I'm from Jaipur
and and we all go there and one of the
evenings in this is I think the the
second-to-the-last evening where my my
my wife and then girlfriend suggested
hey I did we are here like this is the
time you can actually have a
conversation about this that you've been
talking about I mean sitting all all
across the table the same table and and
I start sharing I start
more than me sharing it was more a
question for the table it was like okay
what is it that you feel about each
other let's share some honest truths
about each other and what we're proud of
what our concerns are so forth and and
my turn comes and I say I've never felt
loved by my mom and dad and they were
right there and I've never felt that the
bonding and the connection and and they
listen very quietly and they listen very
quietly they listen and hear me all out
and then my dad asked me a question and
the question was I did you have two
hands right like yes like your right
hand on the left hand which one do you
love more and it's like both of him I
mean it's not one hand that I love more
and so he said that's like having kids
you don't love one of your hands one
more and you don't love one of your kids
more but when one of your hand is in
some pain you just pay attention to it
you have to because it's in pain right
now right but as soon as there it's
healed you don't pay attention to it
anymore you you treat them equally you
love them equally in the moment it was
just a metaphor but it became my truth
eventually that it's not that somebody
loves you or somebody doesn't love you
especially parents it's not that you
love somebody I don't love somebody in
context for example it's me getting a
oversized shirt wasn't about they love
my they loved my brother it was about
them not being able to afford new shirts
all the time
me getting the second-hand bicycle
wasn't about me not one them not wanting
to give me a new bicycle but it was
about them being able to only afford one
bicycle at a time that was a big release
for me because I had held on to that for
all of my life and I was driven from
place of I'll show you only recently
when we actually had a child I realized
that as much as much power the word love
has it doesn't do justice to what you
feel and you have a child what I have
for my son I can't explain I can't
explain because transcends love it's
important that we know how loved we are
the fact that we take up space means
something that we are worthy of love
giving and receiving and that no matter
who we are the way we show up in the
world is deserving of love
and if ever you feel unloved remember
that all you need to do is change your
perspective for love is always there
I was in a crib and two adults were
yelling but my mom came in the crib and
was like it's okay and my mom I could
remember my mom crying so my very
earliest memory as a human is
instability my dad was like a big he was
a pro bodybuilder he's a big strong guy
and I would tell people about my dad
like he was still in my life I never
told them cuz they'd be like well
where's your dad and I'd be like oh he's
busy he can't come but the truth was he
was they didn't cared that much my mom
says hi
when I was pregnant with you the FBI
kicked down the door with guns put guns
in my face took your dad away and
brought him across the country to
Terminal Island off Long Beach I
remember was my birthday my dad when he
got out of prison he he just stayed in
Long Beach but for that birthday my
dad's like I will drive down and take
you out to dinner and he said he'd be
there at like 5:00 p.m. and she had to
go to work she had a night shift job and
she's like okay
your dad will be here soon so I'm gonna
leave you out the house alone so I sat
there I was kind of on the couch and I
remember waiting for my dad and it was
like 5:30 came
6-nothing we had a home landline like
waiting for the phone to ring
7/8 I remember being like super sad
going but you're a little kid so you're
like I have hopefully he's still gonna
come in just late he's just lately just
late I don't remember how long it was
but my mom said she came home at
midnight I was just asleep like
literally like on the couch just like
looking out the window and he never came
and so I remember that being like super
painful and being just like my dad
doesn't care about me life will throw
tremendous blows at you you'll have the
betrayal of a close friend or family
member you'll have you know sickness
death life is painful if I perceive it
as what it was supposed to be but the
second I switch in and go wait no life's
like a puzzle that I was handed here's
your puzzle light of life tie we took a
piece out the dad was gone and when I
look at life like that
my life's like an adventure and I'm
thankful for even the stuff that sucked
in the most painful day and sometimes in
the moment I couldn't see it there but
in hindsight I'm like but I wouldn't
have found that puzzle piece nobody in
my family had ever really made money and
you know they say poverty is systemic
and it's true like most people you can't
rise out of like your socio-economic
class like one of the biggest predictors
of where you'll be in life is where
you're born it sucks
breaking the cycle is something that has
to start happening in the world and what
broke the cycle for me was like
realizing that I was doing it wrong I
was in a mobile home in Clayton North
Carolina and I did not have a job I
didn't have a resume I didn't have
anything to put on a resume I didn't
have a college degree just laying there
on the couch and when I was laying there
the question that came in my head was is
this it all my friends went to college
they had parents that have more money
and they had this and like I missed this
I remember just going to sleep I was
just depressed and the next day my mom
was there
and she said you should read this book
Tony Robbins and I remember being like
oh I don't want some self-help book that
she's I can't you should read it look so
I read it and I don't remember that much
of what I read but I remember the
one-page and it said all greatness
starts with failure because when you
succeed you party and when you fail you
ponder and all greatness comes from
pondering your situation and I remember
thinking that's what I was doing last
night on the couch I was like pondering
like what did I do wrong and and I made
myself vulnerable to the fact that maybe
I did make mistakes maybe I had to
change my life maybe we had to listen to
different people maybe I had to try a
new path you know Einstein said the
definition of insanity is doing the same
thing over and over but expecting
different results and I'm like ty you're
being stubborn so after I read that book
I was like imma try something new
so I went back in that mobile home I
found a yellow pages and I remember
flipping through it going to the
financial section and there was this
full-page ad by this guy Mike Stainback
it said Stainback financial services and
I kind of pretended I didn't lie but I
kind of pretended I was coming there to
be a customer and I get to the place and
I'm like I'm Ty can I speak to your boss
and I'll never forget he was sitting
like this like um big like lazy boy
chair and he had this big mustache he
looked like Tom Selleck I wanted to be
super honest with him I said listen Mike
you don't know who I am
but I know you must be successful
because you've got a full-page ad in the
yellow pages that's all I know about you
but I know that costs a lot of money if
you teach me what you know about making
money I'll work for you for free
and he was sitting like in this charity
he was I was talking to him this way and
he was sideways and he just slowly
pivoted his chair you know I've been
looking for someone like you for 20
years
you come back in the morning and I'll
set you up with your own office and you
can work for me and I promise you if you
listen to what I'm going to say one day
you'll hug my neck and he did have an
office but what he had done was he
cleaned out a closet with no windows and
he had put a desk it's where all the
filing cabinets was i sat down on the
chair and he plopped down pieces of
paper and said Cole call these people
I'll give you a percentage of the money
you make from them no guarantees working
for me so I just started calling and I
sucked at it I would coffee bought six
you know after 6:00 at night they were
like all of you they were hanging up on
me I remember being like oh no I think
I've gone from nightmare to another
nightmare but I started to get curious
and creative and I wrote down a few
little different things I would say to
the people and I remember in that first
month I started opening up deals for
this might stain backer and I opened a
deal that was one hundred and fifty
thousand dollars in commissions if the
deal went through and I remember going
Wow life can change like fast and within
nine months I went from zero dollars to
making a hundred grand I remember being
like this is the pinnacle of my life and
I went out from then like a madman I
became a CFP a certified financial
planner I got into finance I learned I
read every book you can either be
paralyzed by what life gave you and let
the pain because there will be pain that
will be drama you can either let it
build up and like build scar tissue that
that just paralyzes you or at some point
you go the cars didn't weren't dealt for
me like I wanted and so I'm gonna go
recreate those cards and that's what
mentors well for me and I think for
every person you got a different path
that you have
I just spoke on this subject that I
think is like the ultimate puzzle piece
you get this down most your problems go
away
I call it the law of 33% basically you
should spend 33% of your day around
people who have not accomplished what
you've accomplished yet you can help
them like you mentor them and there's
always those people and you need to
spend time around people that you can
help and then you spend 33 percent of
your time around people who are on your
level like you're about at the same
level of a cop of what you're trying to
do those are your become your close
friends you know those are the people
you hang out with on the weekend but the
last 33 percent is the magical one that
doesn't happen in our school system and
almost no one even tries to find these
people
unfortunately you should spend 33
percent of your time around people who
are 5 10 20 30 years ahead where you
want to be and if you do the math you
know that's like a couple hours a day
and now you can do it YouTube video so
you can do it with a book you can do it
with an audio book you can do a face
input videos if you can start absorbing
from the world's greatest line download
their advice into your brain there are
40 years of experience in pain and
reward in making mistakes in
accomplishing great things and you can
you basically get like a cheat sheet and
if you can absorb that and this is what
I tell myself every day I wake up it's
like Thai law 33% we spending time with
I think the most pain that we get in
life is when we think life is like a
straight-line start-finish and here's
what's supposed to
nothing supposed to happen there today
it doesn't work that way sometimes the
photo piece to swap out and you can't
overreact in life if you want to have a
complete life you go find a piece you
put the piece back in you have to take
your destiny in your own hand and try to
recreate what you missed out on for good
or bad today I control my own destiny
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