BOUNDARIES

AN EDGE ISSUE NIGHT ON

SAME SEX ATTRACTION
SCRIPTURE YOUCAT MEDIA
Genesis 3 65 SUGGESTIONS
Romans 1:18- 32 YouTube: “Why Does the
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 SUPPLIES NEEDED Church discriminate against
1 Timothy 1:9-10 • Shoebox gays?” by Christopher
• Cutout letters Stefanick
CCC • Pens YouTube: “The Third
2333 • Paper Way: Homosexuality and
2347 the Catholic Church” by
2357-2359 Blackstone Films
Life Teen Video: “Liberty” by
Jackie Francois (LTVS May
2013)

GOAL
The goal of this Edge Night is to help the youth
understand the Church’s teaching on same sex
attraction.
EDGE NIGHT AT A GLANCE
This Edge Night begins with a time for the youth to
brainstorm all the different types of relationships
they have in their lives. The Proclaim focuses on
the Church’s teaching on same sex attraction
as well as pointing out the difference between
temptation and sin when it comes to purity
and sexuality. The Break will give the youth an
opportunity to discuss the teaching and they
will also have an opportunity to write down any
further questions they have about this subject.
The Send involves a time of Adoration giving the
youth an opportunity to pray with their Core
Members and the Edge Night ends with a final
time for the youth minister to answer any further
questions on same sex attraction.
ENVIRONMENT
Put up pictures of the many different types of
relationships we have in our lives around the
room or make a slide show. Have pictures from
retreat of the different youth and their friends,
pictures of youth and teachers in a classroom,
pictures of parents with their children, pictures
of a husband and a wife, someone at the dentist
or doctor, etc.
CORE TEAM FORMATION
Pass out to the Core Team the teaching for the
night along with the article “Bold and Loving”
found in Amplify Volume 10 and then use the
following questions for discussion or reflection.
Also consider watching together as a Core Team
the video “The Third Way” from the Media
Suggestions.

16 AMPLIFY
• Do you have healthy boundaries in all the
different relationships in your life? What are
some that need to be fixed?
• Do you know someone who struggles with
same sex attraction? How can you approach this
relationship in light of what the Church teaches?
• How can you help the youth understand the
Church’s teaching on same sex attraction in
light of the current culture trends?
GATHER
WELCOME AND INTRODUCTIONS
(5 min)
Gather in all the youth, introduce anyone who
is there for the first time, and recognize any
birthdays. Give a brief introduction to the night
and begin in prayer.
RELATIONSHIPS
(10 min)
Supplies:
• Paper
• Pens
• Markers
Break the youth into small groups. Give them a
large piece of paper and as a group brainstorm all
the different types of relationships they have in
their lives. For example friends, parents, siblings,
teachers, cousins, aunts, etc. and encourage them
to get creative and think of as many relationships
as they can. At the end of the time have a prize for
the small group that has the most relationships
listed out.
As you transition into the teaching – go around
to each small group and ask them to pick one of
the relationships and tell the rest of the group
the proper way to treat that person. For example:
parents – we should respect our parents, listen to
them, love them, and be grateful for all they have
given us.
AMPLIFY
TO THE PARENTS
Please see the attached Parent Handout on page 24
to 25. Be sure to send this to your parents along with
the teaching well in advance of this night so that they
are aware of the topic you will be covering and will
have time to ask any questions.
PROCLAIM
“BOUNDARIES” TEACHING
(15 min)
This teaching can be found on pages 20 to 22.
Here are the main points from the teaching.
• Every relationship in our life has specific
boundaries.
• God's plan and purpose for sex is for it to be
within the boundaries of the Sacrament of
Matrimony between one man and one women.
• We are all called to live lives of chastity and
when we fall into temptation and sin Christ is
there to forgive us.
BREAK
SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION
(10 min)
Supplies:
• Paper
• Pens
Break the youth into their small groups, begin
in prayer, and use the following questions for
discussion.
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 • What are some of the most important
relationships in your life? Why?
• Why is it important for us to have boundaries in
our relationships with others?
• What are the two main purposes of marriage?
Why is it important that marriage is only
between a man and a woman?
• Why is it important that we support and reach
out to those who struggle with same sex
attraction? What does the Church say we should
do?
• Why is it important for us to know the difference
between temptation and sin? What can we do
when we sin?
• Why do you think we will be the happiest when
we live within the boundaries God has given us?
Why is this important?
After you have discussed these questions give the
youth a slip of paper and a pen and have them
write down any question they may have about
the Church’s teaching on same sex attraction.
Collect these sheets of paper at the end of small
group time.
SEND
ADORATION AND PRAYER TEAMS
(20 min)
At this time bring all of the youth into the church
or the designated area for Adoration. Have a
music minister lead them in a time of prayer with
praise and worship as well as times of silence.
While the youth are praying, have the youth
minister and a few Core Members go through the
questions the youth wrote during small group
time – pick a few appropriate questions to answer.
Make sure you know the correct answer to these
questions before responding to them. If there is
anything you do not know the answer to do not
attempt to answer it and address it at another
time when you know the answer.
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Along the back wall of the church, have a few
Core Members available to pray with the youth.
Make sure that there is one female Core Member
and one male Core Member together as a prayer
team. Explain to the youth that they can go to
these Core Members and ask them to pray with
them. The youth can have the Core Members
pray for a specific intention or they can just ask
to be prayed over. If you do not think that your
middle school youth would be open to this type of
prayer, consider having them write down prayer
intentions and bringing them up to a basket at
the foot of the monstrance.
ANSWERS AND CLOSING PRAYER
(15 min)
After the time of Eucharistic Adoration, bring the
youth back into a large group and answer some of
the questions the youth wrote down. Be sure to
only respond to questions to which you know the
correct answer. If you did not know the answer
to a question, assure them that you did not get
to answer all the questions at this time but you
will address them at a later time (be sure that
you actually follow up). If your priest is available,
consider having him help with this portion of the
Edge night.
End the Edge Night with a short prayer for the
youth to have strength to overcome temptation
and sin and for God to bless all the many
relationships in their lives.
Notes

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 BOUNDARIES
KEY WORDS
Temptation – “An attraction,
either from outside oneself or
from within, to act contrary
to right reason and the
commandments of God” (CCC
Glossary))
Sin –“An offense against
God as well as a fault against
reason, truth, and right
conscience. Sin is a deliberate
thought, word, deed, or
omission contrary to the
eternal law of God” (CCC
Glossary)
Chastity – “The moral virtue
which, under the cardinal
virtue of temperance,
provides for the successful
integration of sexuality within
the person leading to the
inner unity of the bodily and
spiritual being” (CCC Glossary)

BOUNDARIES
In our lives we have many different types of relationships. We have
relationships with our parents, with our siblings, with our friends,
with our teachers, etc. There are also appropriate boundaries to
each one of our relationships. (Use some of the examples that the
youth gave from the opening game).

You all gave examples of relationships and then we saw how each
relationship is unique. We do not treat our parents the same way
that we treat our friends, and we do not treat our teachers the
way that we treat our little sister or brother. Each relationship
has a certain purpose in our lives and we act according to the
purpose of that relationship. For example we treat our teachers
with respect and listen to them when they are teaching, and we do
what they ask of us in regards to our homework and tests because
the purpose of the relationship is for us to learn from them.

There is another type of relationship that has a specific purpose

and important boundaries. That is the relationship between
spouses. The Catholic Church has always taught that the
Sacrament of Matrimony is reserved solely to be between one
man and one woman. It is important to note too that this is not the
same as the laws in some countries – but often times the Catholic
Church and laws of our world have not been on the same page. A
couple of notable examples are abortion and capital punishment.
But the Catholic Church holds fast to this understanding of the Genesis 1:26-28
Sacrament of Matrimony because it follows the design of how men
and women were created by God. Men and women were created
by God to have the potential for a unique relationship unlike any
other relationship, which is achieved through the Sacrament of
Matrimony. Every dating or romantic relationship between men
and women should have the end goal of figuring out if they want
to marry each other.

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 Just like any of the other relationships in our lives – there are
specific things that are reserved only to be within the bonds of the
Sacrament of Matrimony. Sex is one of these things. God created
and intended for sex to take place in, and only in, the safety and
unity of the marriage of a man and a woman. When a man and a
woman have sex they create and strengthen the bond between
them, and they are open to the possibility of new life through
Genesis 2:24 conceiving children. Sex is meant only to be within the boundaries
CCC 2360-2363 of marriage because it is such a good and powerful thing (it creates
new life) that it should be saved to be shared through a life long
commitment made through the Sacrament of Matrimony. This is
what God has revealed to us: that sex unites a man and a woman
and brings about babies. We can see this same truth if we look to
the basics of biology. It is important to remember that only a man
and a woman through sex are capable of coming together in this
way and brining new life into the world.

We have many different relationships in which we are called to love

and care for each other but they have appropriate boundaries.
These boundaries are important because they keep us safe,
healthy, and happy and sex is one that is shared between a man
and a woman within the Sacrament of Matrimony.

SAME SEX ATTRACTION

There are many different ways that we can show love to different
people depending on the type of relationships that we have, but
romantic relationships should be reserved for men and women
CCC 2357 discerning the Sacrament of Matrimony. It is okay for men to
be friends with other men and women to be friends with other
women as long as they do not go outside the proper boundaries of
a friendship.

So what are people who struggle with same sex attraction

supposed to do?

Lets look specifically at what the church says:

“The number of men and women who have deep-seated

homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is
objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They
must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every
CCC 2358
sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.
These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if
they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the
difficulties they may encounter from their condition.”

Do you hear some of these words? That people who struggle with
same sex attraction are to be accepted, respected, and shown
compassion and sensitivity. We all need to support each other
CCC 2359 through the burdens and difficulties of life. Remember that there
are so many other meaningful relationships and friendships in life,
and anyone who struggles with same sex attraction is still called to
live a life of fullness in these other types of relationships lived out
with chastity and proper boundaries.

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 TEMPTATION VS SIN
The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that, whether or not Key Word
you experience same sex attraction, we are all called to live lives CCC 2337
of purity and chastity. It is through chastity that we will be able to CCC 2359
have relationships with others in the proper boundaries.

In order to have healthy relationships with others and life chaste

lives we must know the difference between temptation and sin.

Temptation is an attraction to do something that is contrary to

what we know is right and what God reveals to us as right. For
example, we know that it is wrong to yell at our siblings, but we
might be tempted to do so if they call us a mean name. Likewise,
temptation can come from our own thoughts or inclinations. For Key Word
example, if you struggle with same sex attraction but know that CCC 538
you should not act upon it but you still think about it or have
certain feelings towards someone of the same sex. This thought or
temptation does not make you a sinner or a sinful person. Sin only
comes in when we act upon temptations.

When we do things that we know are wrong and that Jesus and
the Church have taught us are wrong, this it is called sin. We are
called to pray for strength to not give into temptations and to not Key Word
sin, but at some point all of us will fall into sin. But the great news CCC 1849
is that God is always ready to forgive us of any and all of our sins. Romans 3:23
He wants us to be freed from sin and gives us the Sacrament of CCC 1422
Reconciliation to forgive us of our sins and to give us grace to not
fall into the same sins again.

Jesus ultimately wants us to be happy, and we will be the

happiest when we live in the way that He created us and when
we strive to avoid sin. We will be the happiest when we live within
the boundaries that Jesus has revealed to us especially in our
relationships with others.

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Notes

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 BOUNDARIES HANDOUT

PARENT HANDOUT
This week at Edge we discussed the many different relationships we have in
our lives and the different purposes and boundaries that exist within those
relationships. We emphasized the purpose and boundaries of the Sacrament of
Matrimony specifically that sex is intended only for a man and a woman within the
Sacrament of Matrimony. As a side note it is important realize that the Church’s
stance on marriage is not the same as the laws of many different countries – but
the Church and the law of the land throughout history have not always been on
the same page, such as the case of abortion and capital punishment. One of the
main relationships we discussed tonight was the nature of a relationship between
two men or two women, specifically the boundaries of friendship. Along with
this we talked about the Church’s teaching for those who struggle with same sex
attraction. The Church teaches that:

“The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies
is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes
for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and
sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.
These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians,
to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from
their condition.” (CCC 2358)

We helped your son and daughter understand how same sex relationships go
outside the proper boundaries of the friendships between two men and two
women. Along with that, we talked about how we are all called to live lives of
chastity regardless of our attraction to others – and that through living with proper
boundaries in all our relationships we will find the most happiness and fulfillment.

The following are more resources regarding the Church’s teachings on

homosexuality so that you can be more informed and help guide your son or
daughter through this difficult topic.

• “Today, the Church provides a badly needed context for the care of the human
person, when she refuses to consider the person as a “heterosexual” or a
“homosexual” and insists that every person has a fundamental identity: the
creature of God, and by grace, his child and heir to eternal life” (Congregation
for the Doctrine of the Faith “Letter to the Bishops of the Catholic Church on the
Pastoral Care of Homosexual People”, p. 16; 1986).

• “Therefore special concern and pastoral attention should be directed toward

those who have this condition, lest they be led to believe that the living out of
this orientation in homosexual activity is a morally acceptable option – it is not”
(Congregation, p. 3).

• “The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between

themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward
the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this
covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the
dignity of a sacrament” (CCC 1601).

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BOUNDARIES HANDOUT

PARENT HANDOUT
• “The spouses’ union achieves the twofold end of marriage: the good of the
spouses themselves and the transmission of life. These two meanings or values
of marriage cannot be separated without altering the couple’s spiritual life and
compromising the goods of marriage and the future of the family” (CCC 2363).

• The truth is that the Church stands against the homosexual actions, not the
person. She teaches that the actions are intrinsically disordered and are outside
of God’s plan for sexuality and therefore sinful (CCC 2357, Genesis 19:1-29,
Romans 1:24-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, 1 Timothy 1:10).

For Further Reading

• Theology of the Body, by Pope John Paul II (Boston: Pauline Books and Media, 1997)

• Persona Humana; Declaration on Certain Questions Concerning Sexual Ethics, by

the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith on December 19, 1975

• Pastoral Letter on Homosexuality, by Most Rev. Thomas Daily, Bishop of Brooklyn,

NY on August 22, 1993

• The Homosexual Person, by Fr. John Harvey (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1987)

• Letter to the Bishops of the Catholic Church on the Pastoral Care of Homosexual
Persons, by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith and John Paul II

• Romans 1:18-32

• 1 Corinthians 6:9-10

• 1 Timothy 1:9-10

• Catechism of the Catholic Church 2357-2359

• YouCat 65

AMPLIFY 25
 BOUNDARIES CHECKLIST

EDGE NIGHT CHECKLIST

EDGE NIGHT DATE: WEEK PRIOR TO EDGE NIGHT:

____________________________________________ ⃞ Hand out/email the Edge Night to the Core

Members
EDGE NIGHT TOPIC:
⃞ Assign duties to the Core Team
____________________________________________
⃞ Pick videos and/or songs

CORE TEAM ASSIGNMENTS: ⃞ Gather all the supplies

Environment ________________________________ ⃞ Email Core Team the Edge Night Core Formation

Opening Prayer ______________________________

WEEK OF THE EDGE NIGHT:
Games _____________________________________
⃞ Prep for games and the environment
Proclaim ____________________________________
⃞ Meet with the Core Member doing the Proclaim
Closing Prayer _______________________________ (if applicable)

Videos: ____________________________________ DAY OF THE EDGE NIGHT:

____________________________________________ ⃞ Email Parents the information about the Night
and any announcements
____________________________________________
⃞ Gather and Prep for the night
Songs: ____________________________________
⃞ Pray!
____________________________________________

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Notes

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BOUNDARIES EVALUATION

EDGE NIGHT EVALUATION

INSTRUCTIONS:
Evaluation is a key to successful ministry. Use the following questions to discuss
and evaluate your Edge Night.

What is going well at our Edge Nights? What can Would you be interested in leading prayer,
we improve? explaining games, or giving a Proclaim teaching?

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Was there one particular part of this Edge Night Are our Core Meetings effective? How can I
you did not think was necessary? What and better serve you as a youth minister? What can
Why? we do to better serve our youth?

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AMPLIFY 27