Shibari Healing Properties

8/15/2020 Shibari: The Healing Properties of Japanese Rope Bondage | by Mila Kriletich | Medium
Shibari: The Healing Properties of Japanese

Rope Bondage
Mila Kriletich
Jan 29, 2018 · 8 min read
As a woman who had previously indulged in the paler shades of kink, I was no stranger
to being restrained. I had been both the dominant and the submissive in different
sexual situations with partners and had always enjoyed both roles.
But as a few of my readers may know, and as I’ve mentioned in past blogs, there was a
time where an attempt was made on my life, and I nearly died. The manner of this near
death experience was one where I was restrained and tortured. I won’t go into detail
here, but if you want to read more about that life altering experience click here.
Shibari was something I found on Instagram. Good old instagram and its image based
content had served me up a suggested post in my search feed which involved a woman
tied beautifully in ropes and suspended.
My interest was piqued. I followed the thread and found myself in a world of exquisite
beauty and consensual restraint. I began following these accounts and I had to
acknowledge that I was developing a wish to participate.
Because here’s the thing: what I learned was that a lot of people were doing Shibari
from a trust/surrender perspective. Yes, there were people who were doing this for
sexual pleasure and BDSM purposes, but for me I was fascinated with the reports I had
read about being held by the ropes. Being supported. Surrendering to both the
administrations of a dominant rigger who would bind and suspend you, and the ropes
themselves.
The experience of being restrained consensually really appealed to me and I could see
the sense in engaging in this to further the healing process inside myself.
Plunging Into Discomfort
https://medium.com/@mila.kriletich/shibari-the-healing-properties-of-japanese-rope-bondage-b4c1cac98090 1/21
I began to contact riggers in my area and it wasn’t long before I found a woman with
bucketloads of integrity who was a mutual friend of one of my meditation clients. My
client had done Shibari already and recommended @thevropes as a good first time
rigger.
We started a discussion around it and she agreed to tie me, which was hugely generous
of her as I was a first time bunny (the name they give to shibari models) and we didn’t
have an established relationship. She invited me to an event at Brisbane’s premier kink
space @_no.23_brisbane and suddenly it was happening.
When I got to the venue she and I connected immediately. Most importantly I felt safe
with her. She’s an aware, awake, conscious individual who believes in equal rights and
animal welfare, totally on my wavelength. She asked what I was hoping to get from this
experience and I explained my needs, past experiences and wishes.
For me, having experienced deep trauma and violence while being
tied, my goal was to allow myself to reset that memory and learn
to feel safe while being restrained.
She totally heard me. We began the session. To say it was breathtaking is both a pun
and an understatement. While it was a fairly short session, she tied me in an elaborate
tie right away and asked if I wanted to fly. Then I was rigged and suddenly in the air.
My chest was restricted and my mind began to whirl.
As a meditation student and teacher I am used to deep breathing at least once a

minute. I found I couldn’t do this and panic kicked in. Identifying that mind was trying
to keep me safe, I told it to quiet itself and relaxed.
In that moment I started to surrender ..

The rest of the suspension went fairly quickly and I was elated afterwards. As we sat
observing another rigger and bunny, a Shibari photographer approached me and asked
if I would do a proper photo shoot with her rigger. As it happened her rigger and I
already followed each other on Instagram. I immediately agreed and we set a date.
The Deep Healing Begins

This time was different. We had a whole warehouse to ourselves. It was just the three
of us, and my meditation client joined us.
We started off with a discussion about potential risks (google wrist drop that shit is not
good) and a spoke about existing injuries/past trauma. This created a safe space for us
all as we talked about our own needs and desires and experiences. My rigger
@barezerothreeseven was a strong and gentle man with a quiet, calm way and
positive, peaceful energy. I felt both safe and honoured to be tied by him as he is an
experienced rigger and I was still a newbie.
We started with a ground tie with my hands behind my back. We had the album
Mezzanine by Massive Attack playing and anyone who knows this album will know
how perfectly this would have set the scene.
We then progressed to a leg tie which felt incredibly good. Then my second leg was
bound and I was eventually put on my stomach and hog tied.
The whole time I was manoeuvred around as the camera shutter clicked. The woman
behind the lens is an utterly gorgeous human and she captured these incredible shots.
The three people in the room constantly checked in with me to make sure I was ok in
every moment. It was honouring and safe and I felt held and nurtured.
Then I was bound with my hands in prayer position and we moved into ever more
complicated ties and positions.
Finally I was standing and my legs were bound as well.
By this point is was in another world. There was pain as I swung around in the ropes
dangling from a point on my back. I was there but I was gone as well. I was in some
other place inside myself and as the ropes bit my skin and the pressure built up, the
music in the background furthered my freedom from thought and from associations
with trauma.
The pain intensified but it was totally manageable and while uncomfortable, it took me
away from myself and away from mind. It forced me to be totally present in my body.
The huge trust I was allowing myself and the total surrender to the moment had me on
a high and it deepened with every passing second.
Finally I was up and hanging fully and in that moment the three people in the room
with me looked at my face and decided I had reached my limits. I weakly said I could
take more and they simultaneously and firmly said no. It was time to unbind me.
What happened next was something I was not prepared for.

The binding is incredible, but the unbinding is another thing altogether. The release,
the blood rushing back through tight limbs, the slow falling, the COMING UNDONE.
With each knot untied, each rope loosened, something in me let go, broke free, moved
away.
By the time the ropes were off I was in what I could only describe as a state of samadhi.
This is a bliss state where you are at one with the universe and all that is. I sat there for
a long time and then I placed my arms around my knees and hugged myself. I
tightened my grip and suddenly I was overcome with a sense of deep love and care and
protection for myself. I had never experienced a moment like this before and I was
overcome with a deep and abiding affection for myself.
To say it was a healing experience hardly does it justice. It was transcendental. The
discomfort and consensual restraint undid layers of trauma and pain inside me. The
surrendering and letting go and allowing released hard edges I’d been holding for so
long. The release was a type of therapy I could never have guessed at.
I floated for the rest of the week and since the session I feel distinctly different.
Something inside me has shifted. The hard edges are softer. I feel more open. I am
more fully in my body. My places on my body that were previously no-go zones are now
able to be touched with no reaction of past trauma. Areas that had carried pain and
fear and anguish and suffering suffer no more. To be touched with such love and
reverence and practised intent was liberating and medicinal.
There is power in discomfort. There is healing in surrender. There is honour in consent.
I want to give huge and heart-deep thanks to @shibaribacklit, @barezerothreeseven

@thevropes and @kate.louise309 for their presence, energy and beautiful intention. It
was an honour.
Liked it? Take a second to support my work on Patreon ❤
. . .
Originally published at jamilakriletich.com on January 29, 2018.
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8/15/2020 Shibari: The Healing Properties of Japanese Rope Bondage | by Mila Kriletich | Medium

Shibari: The Healing Properties of Japanese

Plunging Into Discomfort

As a meditation student and teacher I am used to deep breathing at least once a

In that moment I started to surrender ..

The Deep Healing Begins

Finally I was standing and my legs were bound as well.

What happened next was something I was not prepared for.

There is power in discomfort. There is healing in surrender. There is honour in consent.

I want to give huge and heart-deep thanks to @shibaribacklit, @barezerothreeseven

Liked it? Take a second to support my work on Patreon ❤

Originally published at jamilakriletich.com on January 29, 2018.

Sex Shibari Healing Self-awareness Self Improvement

About Help Legal

Get the Medium app

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