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How Do I Give Better

Massages?
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Tearing Around His Driveway
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Friday 7:00PM

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to the RNC?
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Melanie Pinola
12/29/11 1:00PM
•

FILED TO:ASK LIFEHACKER

29

Dear Lifehacker,
Every time I give my girlfriend a back massage, I kind of give up early because my arms
get tired and I'm not sure if I'm doing it right. I'd like to get better at it, though, and I
also have my own tension (especially in my shoulders) I'd like to massage out. Do you
have any massage tips I can use?

Thanks,
Amateur Masseuse

Dear AM,
It's an interesting predicament, isn't it: Few of us are born with innate massaging skills,
yet virtually all of us love to give and receive good massages. Because of the many
benefits of massage—relieving pain and reducing stress—learning to give a better
massage to yourself or your partner can be profound, and everyone can do it. I spoke
with expert masseuse and founder of Elements Therapeutic Massage, Michele Merhib,
to gather some tips for increasing your massage-fu.
Massage May Be Better Than Meds for Relieving Back Pain

Low back pain is one of the most common health complaints (exacerbated, no doubt, by
sitting in…

Read more

Giving a Better Partner Massage

Use your body weight so you don't get tired. One of the biggest complaints
Michele says she hears from clients is that their partners only massage them for a few
minutes and stop because their hands or arms hurt—that's that fatigue you mentioned,
and it most likely has to do with your positioning. Good massage is less about your grip
and more about your stance and the use of gravity.

So rather than trying to massage your partner when she's standing next to you or sitting
beside you on the couch, have her sit on the floor on a pillow while you sit on the couch
or in a chair while you stand behind her. She could also lie on the floor on some blankets
or a mat, but when sitting she can get some extra stretching in by leaning forward as you
massage her back.

Don't forget the oil. To prevent uncomfortable friction and help your hands glide
easily, use some lotion or a little bit of olive oil when massaging. Don't just pour it on
her back, though, like she's a salad. Use the oil on your own hands and warm them up.

Do no harm. Avoid pinching or grabbing muscles. You can prevent this by keeping

your fingers together and using your whole hand in the massage. Michele likens
massaging to sculpting: When working with clay, you need to spend some time softening
it at first. Likewise with a massage, use soft strokes to warm up the muscles before you
try to knead them.

At the start, ask if the pressure is enough. She should feel pressure, but not pain. Adjust
as needed: If she wants a deeper massage, lean in further, using your body weight. You
can also use your knuckles to target really stiff muscles.

The Massage for Dummies book has a cheat sheet for giving a massage, including
vulnerable areas of the body you should stay away from, which include the front of the
neck, upper inner arm, and abdomen.

How to massage the neck and shoulders: Make a soft (loose) fist and use the base
of your hand to apply pressure on her left shoulder, running your hand up the side of
her neck until you get to the base of her skull, then go back down. Without breaking
contact, repeat on the other side. Do this a couple of times.

Here's a video demonstration from Educating Hands School of Massage on giving a

shoulder and neck massage using a squeezing technique.

How to massage the back: With the base of your hand and the pads of your thumbs,
rub circles up and down along her spine to warm up the muscles. Be careful not to press
on the spine itself.

She can lean forward as you move down. Press your hands into her back and lean in
slowly to apply pressure with your body weight.

Finally, use a kneading motion—using your whole hand to gently squeeze and knead the
muscles along the spine.

Here's a video for a full back and neck sitting massage (a bit long, but relaxing to watch
too).

Giving a Better Self Massage

Michele offered several tricks for getting rid of tension and massaging your own
muscles.

Shoulders: Use the hand opposite the shoulder you want to work on (e.g., your right
hand to massage your left shoulder) and bring it across to your shoulder. Gently press
into the shoulder and run your thumb up against the neck. Repeat on the other side. Go
ahead and try this now. Ahhhh...

Hands: Okay, now go get a pencil with an eraser. With your palm turned up, press the
eraser into the fleshy parts of your hand (especially the thumb pad), moving in circles
and going deeper as needed. The reason why the soft pencil eraser is better than just
using your hand, by the way, is because your brain can confuse the signals when it feels
sensations in both hands, Michele said.

One technique for relieving wrist pain is to push your hand back towards your elbow.
You should do this several times a day and also stretch out your hand and fingers on
your massage breaks.

Back: Those therapy balls or exercise balls are great for massaging your back. Lie on
one and just roll around; this is great for aligning the spine. If you don't have an exercise
ball, this BodyBack Buddy is an awesome tool for deep tissue massage on hard-to-reach
muscles.

BodyBack Buddy Trigger Point Tool

When you're hard up for an extra set of hands to help you reach knots in your shoulders and
back,…

Read more
Feet: Athletes are familiar with this trick: Roll your foot on a tennis ball or golf ball,
moving side to side and from toes to heel. Spend more time in the sensitive foot arch
area.

Just one massage session might do wonders for your health, and at the very least you
and your partner should feel more relaxed and refreshed thanks to your new and
improved massage skills. You can keep learning massage techniques with these free
videos at MassageFree.com.

Enjoy!

Love,
Lifehacker

P.S. Do you know how to give a killer massage? Share your tips with us in the comments.

Photo remixed from an original by Adam Gregor.

Michele Merhib is the founder of Elements Therapeutic Massage, one of the fastest-
growing massage therapy franchises in America. She is working closely with massage
schools across the country to ensure the successful employment of massage school
graduates. As a massage therapist herself, Merhib has contributed greatly to
Elements' mission to be the Employer of Choice for massage professionals.
SHARE THIS STORY

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DISCUSSION

LARPkitten
12/29/11 4:14PM

A few tips from a massage therapist who hasn't practiced in a few years:

1.) Think broad. You can give a more comfortable massage by using broad strokes, kneading large
sections of the muscle instead of targeting smaller areas, and using the heel of your hand or a loose
fist. Even knots and trigger points can be worked on broadly (and often less painfully) just by
loosening the whole muscle around the knots. This is very important to remember if your subject has
fibromyalgia, since accidentally hitting a trigger point can result in hours or even days of pain.

2.) Avoid the thumbs. I'm not saying don't use them, but don't make them your mainstay either. The
best way to injure yourself during a massage is to overwork your thumbs. You'll get hand cramps
galore, and get tired quickly. Instead of thumbs, try using the heel of your hand, a loose fist, and (if
you want to get advanced) your forearm and elbows. Also keep your wrists straight and use your
whole arm to move, using your weight to add pressure.

3.) Relaaaaax. Not just your subject, YOU. If your hands are tense, the massage will feel like it was
done with rocks. Use loose fists (don't even bother to curl the fingers), fluid movements, slow strokes
 and circles. Don't overthink or analyze, put all your focus in the moment and FEEL the muscles
under the skin. Giving a massage can be a very zen experience, and the more relaxed and in tune you
are, the better the massage will feel to the person receiving it.

4.) The thicker the muscle, the heavier the pressure. Thicker muscles can handle (and usually
require) more pressure, so don't be afraid to push down on those supporting lower back muscles or
the thick muscles that anchor the shoulder to the neck (the traps, if you prefer names). Conversely,
lighten up on thinner muscles and muscles that stretch over bone. And as always, make sure your
subject knows that it's okay, and you actually PREFER, for them to tell you to go deeper or lighten
up.

5.) Start shallow to work deeper. Use large, soft, broad motions to start, to get the surface of the
muscle loosened up before working deeper. If you try to do deep, heavy work before warming up the
surface, it will be uncomfortable or even painful. You can tell when the muscle is warmed up and
ready for deeper work because, surprise surprise, the skin and muscles actually literally warm up.

See all replies

ENOUGH The extrajudicial killings of black people must stop.

Click here to read our coverage.
 THE A.V. CLUB
 DEADSPIN
 GIZMODO
 JALOPNIK
 JEZEBEL
 KOTAKU
 LIFEHACKER
 THE ROOT
 THE TAKEOUT

 THE ONION

 THE INVENTORY

Do everything better
ShopSubscribe
LATEST SKILLET TWO CENTS VITALS OFFSPRING TECH 911 CORONAVIRUS THE
UPGRADE VIDEO
How Do I Give Better
Massages?
You may also like

Jalopnik
Watch How A Neighbor Deals With A Little Kid Who Keeps
Tearing Around His Driveway
Jason Torchinsky
Friday 7:00PM

Gizmodo
The Tech My Dad Banned From Our House
Joanna Nelius
Friday 12:00PM

The Root
White Man in Alaska Demonically Screams in the Face of
Walmart Worker, "You Have No Authority Over Me"
Ishena Robinson
An hour ago

MORE FROM G/O MEDIA

READ ON
Warframe's Big Twist Knocked My Brain Clean Out Of My Head
READ ON

Twitter Sets Former NFL Star Brian Urlacher Straight After He Comes for
Jacob Blake
READ ON

Melania, what did you think would happen when you wore a green dress
to the RNC?
READ ON

Watch An Escaped Wheel Ring Someone's Doorbell At About 40 MPH

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER

Daily tips, tricks & shortcuts delivered to your inbox.
Subscribe

Melanie Pinola
12/29/11 1:00PM
•

FILED TO:ASK LIFEHACKER

29

Dear Lifehacker,
Every time I give my girlfriend a back massage, I kind of give up early because my arms
get tired and I'm not sure if I'm doing it right. I'd like to get better at it, though, and I
also have my own tension (especially in my shoulders) I'd like to massage out. Do you
have any massage tips I can use?

Thanks,
Amateur Masseuse

Dear AM,
It's an interesting predicament, isn't it: Few of us are born with innate massaging skills,
yet virtually all of us love to give and receive good massages. Because of the many
benefits of massage—relieving pain and reducing stress—learning to give a better
massage to yourself or your partner can be profound, and everyone can do it. I spoke
with expert masseuse and founder of Elements Therapeutic Massage, Michele Merhib,
to gather some tips for increasing your massage-fu.

Massage May Be Better Than Meds for Relieving Back Pain

Low back pain is one of the most common health complaints (exacerbated, no doubt, by
sitting in…

Read more

Giving a Better Partner Massage

Use your body weight so you don't get tired. One of the biggest complaints
Michele says she hears from clients is that their partners only massage them for a few
minutes and stop because their hands or arms hurt—that's that fatigue you mentioned,
and it most likely has to do with your positioning. Good massage is less about your grip
and more about your stance and the use of gravity.
So rather than trying to massage your partner when she's standing next to you or sitting
beside you on the couch, have her sit on the floor on a pillow while you sit on the couch
or in a chair while you stand behind her. She could also lie on the floor on some blankets
or a mat, but when sitting she can get some extra stretching in by leaning forward as you
massage her back.

Don't forget the oil. To prevent uncomfortable friction and help your hands glide
easily, use some lotion or a little bit of olive oil when massaging. Don't just pour it on
her back, though, like she's a salad. Use the oil on your own hands and warm them up.

Do no harm. Avoid pinching or grabbing muscles. You can prevent this by keeping

your fingers together and using your whole hand in the massage. Michele likens
massaging to sculpting: When working with clay, you need to spend some time softening
it at first. Likewise with a massage, use soft strokes to warm up the muscles before you
try to knead them.

At the start, ask if the pressure is enough. She should feel pressure, but not pain. Adjust
as needed: If she wants a deeper massage, lean in further, using your body weight. You
can also use your knuckles to target really stiff muscles.

The Massage for Dummies book has a cheat sheet for giving a massage, including
vulnerable areas of the body you should stay away from, which include the front of the
neck, upper inner arm, and abdomen.

How to massage the neck and shoulders: Make a soft (loose) fist and use the base
of your hand to apply pressure on her left shoulder, running your hand up the side of
her neck until you get to the base of her skull, then go back down. Without breaking
contact, repeat on the other side. Do this a couple of times.

Here's a video demonstration from Educating Hands School of Massage on giving a

shoulder and neck massage using a squeezing technique.
How to massage the back: With the base of your hand and the pads of your thumbs,
rub circles up and down along her spine to warm up the muscles. Be careful not to press
on the spine itself.

She can lean forward as you move down. Press your hands into her back and lean in
slowly to apply pressure with your body weight.

Finally, use a kneading motion—using your whole hand to gently squeeze and knead the
muscles along the spine.

Here's a video for a full back and neck sitting massage (a bit long, but relaxing to watch
too).

Giving a Better Self Massage

Michele offered several tricks for getting rid of tension and massaging your own
muscles.

Shoulders: Use the hand opposite the shoulder you want to work on (e.g., your right
hand to massage your left shoulder) and bring it across to your shoulder. Gently press
into the shoulder and run your thumb up against the neck. Repeat on the other side. Go
ahead and try this now. Ahhhh...

Hands: Okay, now go get a pencil with an eraser. With your palm turned up, press the
eraser into the fleshy parts of your hand (especially the thumb pad), moving in circles
and going deeper as needed. The reason why the soft pencil eraser is better than just
using your hand, by the way, is because your brain can confuse the signals when it feels
sensations in both hands, Michele said.

One technique for relieving wrist pain is to push your hand back towards your elbow.
You should do this several times a day and also stretch out your hand and fingers on
your massage breaks.
Back: Those therapy balls or exercise balls are great for massaging your back. Lie on
one and just roll around; this is great for aligning the spine. If you don't have an exercise
ball, this BodyBack Buddy is an awesome tool for deep tissue massage on hard-to-reach
muscles.

BodyBack Buddy Trigger Point Tool

When you're hard up for an extra set of hands to help you reach knots in your shoulders and
back,…

Read more

Feet: Athletes are familiar with this trick: Roll your foot on a tennis ball or golf ball,
moving side to side and from toes to heel. Spend more time in the sensitive foot arch
area.

Just one massage session might do wonders for your health, and at the very least you
and your partner should feel more relaxed and refreshed thanks to your new and
improved massage skills. You can keep learning massage techniques with these free
videos at MassageFree.com.

Enjoy!

Love,
Lifehacker
P.S. Do you know how to give a killer massage? Share your tips with us in the comments.

Photo remixed from an original by Adam Gregor.

Michele Merhib is the founder of Elements Therapeutic Massage, one of the fastest-
growing massage therapy franchises in America. She is working closely with massage
schools across the country to ensure the successful employment of massage school
graduates. As a massage therapist herself, Merhib has contributed greatly to
Elements' mission to be the Employer of Choice for massage professionals.

SHARE THIS STORY

GET OUR NEWSLETTER

Subscribe

MORE FROM LIFEHACKER

The Real Reason You Shouldn't Swallow Your Gum

How to Know if You're an Asshole

Spice Up Your Life with Tajín Pickled Onions

Our 12 Favorite Chrome Extensions

DISCUSSION
LARPkitten
12/29/11 4:14PM

A few tips from a massage therapist who hasn't practiced in a few years:

1.) Think broad. You can give a more comfortable massage by using broad strokes, kneading large
sections of the muscle instead of targeting smaller areas, and using the heel of your hand or a loose
fist. Even knots and trigger points can be worked on broadly (and often less painfully) just by
loosening the whole muscle around the knots. This is very important to remember if your subject has
fibromyalgia, since accidentally hitting a trigger point can result in hours or even days of pain.

2.) Avoid the thumbs. I'm not saying don't use them, but don't make them your mainstay either. The
best way to injure yourself during a massage is to overwork your thumbs. You'll get hand cramps
galore, and get tired quickly. Instead of thumbs, try using the heel of your hand, a loose fist, and (if
you want to get advanced) your forearm and elbows. Also keep your wrists straight and use your
whole arm to move, using your weight to add pressure.

3.) Relaaaaax. Not just your subject, YOU. If your hands are tense, the massage will feel like it was
done with rocks. Use loose fists (don't even bother to curl the fingers), fluid movements, slow strokes
and circles. Don't overthink or analyze, put all your focus in the moment and FEEL the muscles
under the skin. Giving a massage can be a very zen experience, and the more relaxed and in tune you
are, the better the massage will feel to the person receiving it.

4.) The thicker the muscle, the heavier the pressure. Thicker muscles can handle (and usually
require) more pressure, so don't be afraid to push down on those supporting lower back muscles or
the thick muscles that anchor the shoulder to the neck (the traps, if you prefer names). Conversely,
lighten up on thinner muscles and muscles that stretch over bone. And as always, make sure your
subject knows that it's okay, and you actually PREFER, for them to tell you to go deeper or lighten
up.

5.) Start shallow to work deeper. Use large, soft, broad motions to start, to get the surface of the
muscle loosened up before working deeper. If you try to do deep, heavy work before warming up the
surface, it will be uncomfortable or even painful. You can tell when the muscle is warmed up and
ready for deeper work because, surprise surprise, the skin and muscles actually literally warm up.

See all replies