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How to Avoid Awkward

Silence – The Complete
Guide
By David Morin & Viktor Sander | Last updated: August 13, 2019
In this guide, you’ll learn what to do when the conversation

goes silent and you don’t know what to say.
1 of 30 12/11/19, 4:34 AM
How to Avoid Awkward Silence - The Complete G... https://socialpronow.com/avoid-awkward-silence/
My name is Viktor Sander (B.Sc., B.A. with a major in

Psychology), I’ve helped people improve their communication
for over 12 years.
Here are my 18 best tips to avoid awkward silence:
1. 3 lifeline-questions to ask when it’s

awkward (that works in any situation)
Here are two phrases that are almost universal. If you don’t
come up with anything else – fire these off.
Lifeline-question 1: Where are you from?
This one is great to use at the beginning of a conversation

because it’s a natural thing to ask and it helps you to get a
grasp of who the other person is.
Lifeline-question 2: Did you hear that [Insert

anything newsworthy]?
You can use this one no matter what you were just talking
about, and you can refer to anything you’ve heard in the
news, or anything newsworthy related to where you are.
Did you hear that they will hire more people?

Did you hear about the robbery here last week?
Have you heard about the new owners?
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Lifeline-question 3: “How do you know people

here?”
This one is perfect at a party or social event. It’s usually one

of the first questions to ask when you meet someone new at
any kind of social event.
2. When you think the other person is

waiting for you to say something – they’re
probably thinking the same thing
When there’s an awkward silence, the other person might be
panicking just as much or more than you.
It can feel like they are waiting for you to say something and
thinking about how awkward you are.
But in reality, they might think that the awkward silence is

THEIR fault.
You’re not the only one who blames yourself. The other
person can go blank in their head, give too short answers,
forget to ask a follow-up question, or even just don’t know
how to keep the conversation going.[6]
And regardless of whose “fault” it is, people try to solve the

silence themselves – they’re NOT waiting for you to do it.
The next time there’s an awkward silence, remember
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this:
No need to panic, they aren’t waiting for you. The other

person isn’t expecting you to fix the conversation; they’re just
desperately trying to come up with something to say.
3. Give more than bare minimum answers

When we’re self-conscious, we tend to keep our thoughts and
opinions to themselves. This makes us appear reserved and
stiff.
If we give bare minimum answers, like just answering “yes”

or “no”, it’s hard for the other person to keep it interesting. It
forces them to do all the creative work for the conversation.
And if we don’t contribute with anything, it can seem like we
don’t want to talk.
To keep a conversation going, the other person needs some

input from us so they can relate. The more info you give in
your answer, the easier it is for them to either relate or ask an
interesting follow-up question.
Examples of what not to say if you want to avoid awkward

silence:
+ Do you work or study?
– I study.
+ What’s your favorite food?
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– Pizza.
Examples of what to say in an awkward silence to keep a

conversation going:
+ Do you work or study?
– I study Computer science at our local University. I’m on my

final year now.
+ What’s your favorite food?
– Neapolitan style Pizza, it reminds me of when I went to

Italy last fall.
4. Talk about feelings and opinions instead of

facts
To most people, feelings, likes, dislikes, and opinions are
more interesting than facts. Make it a habit to get to know
the other person’s thoughts and feelings on the topic you’re
talking about.
Asking questions about topics people aren’t interested in is

like biking uphill, but asking questions about something they
can connect to emotionally makes the conversation flow
without effort. And there’s nothing people are more
emotionally invested in than things closely connected to their
identity.
Things to talk about that people are emotionally connected

to:
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Their future plans

What’s your plan for the summer?
What are your future plans after […]?
Their personality/identity
Do you prefer a party or a chill hangout?
Are you more introverted or extroverted?
Their previous experiences
Did you get exhausted hiking so far or what did it
feel like?
How was your vacation?
What did you think about the movie?
Their accomplishments
Did you have a specific diet plan to succeed so well
with your weight loss?
What’s something you’re proud of having done this
year?
Their interests
How do you usually spend your free time?
What kind of music do you mainly listen to?
What’s your favorite movie?
Their dreams
Where would you like to live?
What’s your dream job?
Their jobs (if they love it)
What do you like best about your job?
What made you choose your career path?
Their children or grandchildren
Do you have any children/grandchildren?
How old are your children/grandchildren?
What do you best like doing with your
children/grandchildren?
Their lives
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How did you like living in [city/country]?

Do you have any pets?
These questions shouldn’t be asked out of the blue; they

should be connected to what you’re currently talking about.
These are questions you can ask after the initial small talk
when you start the conversation. If you ask these questions
too early, people might feel uncomfortable. But to truly bond
and move the conversation forward, you need to involve
people emotionally.
Here are many more questions to ask friends.
Research shows that people who are genuinely interested in

others make friends more easily.
Ask “you-questions” to keep a conversation going

There’s something all the questions above have in common:
They all contain the word “you”.
You-questions are great to avoid awkward silence and to

create an emotional connection. When you include a “you” in
your questions, it makes the question more interesting to the
other person. Chances are that as you ask you-questions,
you’ll come across something you’ll both enjoy talking about.
5. Use earlier subjects you talked about when

you run out of things to say (the
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“conversational threading”-method)
Let’s say that the person you were talking to said something,
and you have no idea of how to build the conversation on that.
You’ve hit a wall.
Now, ask yourself what you were talking about earlier in the
conversation. Then, go back to any previous subject and
ask questions related to that.
Example of conversational threading

Say that the other person previously mentioned a trip to
Paris, but the conversation has carried on:
– How was your weekend?
– Good. I didn’t do anything special though. (The conversation

is about to hit a wall)
– I see. You said you visited Paris not too long ago, right? How
was it?
You can also relate back to discussions you had last time you
met:
– How was the art class you mentioned last time?
– Did you manage to get your apartment sold?
– How is Lucy doing after the surgery?
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Click here to read our guide on how to make interesting

conversation.
6. Awkward silence can be a sign that it’s

time to end a conversation
You can’t keep all conversations going forever. Most
conversations are best kept short and sweet. Dragging things
out by forcing a conversation to keep going can actually be
quite awkward in itself.
So, when it starts getting quiet and you’ve done your initial
pleasantries and small talk, you can end the conversation
politely with a nice wrap up:
“It was so good to see you. Hope you have a great day!”
“Anyway, I’ll let you get back to that. Great seeing you!”
“I gotta go now, see you later!”
“Alright! Good talking to you!”
“I just got here, I’m just gonna go have a look around
and say hi to everyone. See you later!”
“I’m starving! I’m gonna go grab something to eat. See
you!”
“I’m just gonna go use the restroom, good seeing you!”
If it’s appropriate, it can be good to end a conversation
by exchanging business cards or contact details.
Ending a conversation is just as much about body language as

what you’re saying. Match what you’re saying with your body,
so if you’re about to leave, you can start turning away your
body, or give them a wave or a handshake. Whatever is
appropriate.
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7. What you say doesn’t need to have a point

Many times when there’s an awkward silence or pause, we
try to break it with a question. Sometimes, that works. But
other times it just ends in another silence and you’re forced
to ask question upon question to keep the conversation going.
The problem here is that we want the other person to talk so

that we can get ideas on what to talk about. But the other
person might feel just as awkward as you and they want YOU
to talk.
When you keep asking them questions when they’re feeling

awkward, you put all the pressure on them.
Do this to break the cycle of awkwardness

Start talking about something you did today or this weekend.
(Stay with me, I know it sounds weird, but you’ll soon
understand. I promise!)
Example:
“I had lunch over at that new sushi place today. I had tuna
and salmon nigiri plus miso soup.”
This seems pointless at first. But immediately, new things to

say come to me. I could talk more about sushi places, other
new restaurants in town, what I thought about the food, the
price, or the service. I could also ask the other person about
any of these things.
But even better is to keep talking and let the other person
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jump in where they hear something interesting.
The point is that your story shouldn’t have a

point.
Telling a story like this is like the conversational equivalent to

a buffet. There are lots of small bites in there that the other
person can have a taste of. They just need to ask you or start
talking themselves about anything you say that they find
interesting.
With this technique, you give them control to pick and choose
from the topics you touch upon in your “pointless” story. This
both gets rid of awkward silence and makes sure the
conversation stays interesting and relevant to both of you.
“But this feels so weird. I can’t just talk about something like
this. What if I bore the other person?”
This may sound weird until you try it. Then, when it works, it
will feel like the most natural thing in the world.
People do this all the time. And you don’t even notice it
because it’s so natural. Try it just once and you’ll see.
8. Decrease your nervosity or anxiety by

focusing on the other person
Nervosity is created when we become self-conscious – we
focus too much on ourselves. But there’s a trick to prevent
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self-consciousness from even happening – focus on the other

person instead of yourself. That way your brain can’t focus on
yourself because it’s busy focusing on something else. [9, 11]
Focus on them by thinking about what they’re talking about

or how they’re feeling or even how they look. You can read
more about how to focus on the other person in our guide on
how to avoid nervosity around others.
9. Ask them to explain something to break

the awkward silence
It’s easy for people to talk about what they are interested in.
You can almost always ask someone to expand on the subject
or explain something in more detail. This is great to stop
awkward silence.
When the conversation goes quiet, ask something along these

lines:
“How did you…?”

“How does that work?”
“So, what do you think about that?”
“How did they respond when…?
“What were you thinking in that situation?”
Asking someone to explain something in more detail also has

the added benefit of showing that you’re interested in what
they’re talking about.
10. Use open questions to prevent awkward
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silence
Open questions are questions where you can’t just answer yes
or no; they need some sort of explanation. The opposite is a
closed question where there is a correct answer.
Open questions can be a great tool to keep a conversation

going and get some more interesting answers. It’s a good way
of getting to know a person’s feelings and opinions about
different subjects.
Examples of closed vs open questions:

Closed question: Do you like your car?
Open question: What do you think of your car?
Closed question: Has your car been in an accident
Open question: What happened to your car?
Closed question: Is that a red car?
Closed question: What color is that car? (Questions that just

needs a pre-determined answer like “red” is also closed.)
Open question: How would you describe that car?
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Closed question: Do you prefer Mercedes or Volvo?
Open question: What’s your favorite car?
Note that closed questions aren’t bad per definition. They do

have their place in most conversations. But if you often feel
like you don’t get long or interesting answers to your
questions, or that you keep having to ask questions all the
time – that can be a sign you’re using too many closed
questions.
11. Why clever and interesting questions kill

the conversation
Are you ever afraid your questions are boring or stupid? Are
you censoring yourself to avoid saying stupid stuff? Are you
afraid you’re boring the other person?
The thing is, when you try to make everything you say smart
or interesting, you get stuck in a trap where it’s SUPER hard
to come up with anything to say. Your mind goes blank. And
instead of sounding smart or interesting, you’re just quiet and
stiff.
When you let go of trying to sound smart and interesting, you

can instead express who you really are. Even if some of the
things you say will come across as uninteresting, that doesn’t
matter because you’ll come across as natural, relatable, and
warm. And that makes YOU interesting as a person.
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It’s OK to ask stupid or boring questions. Questions don’t

have to be clever. It’s much more awkward to not say
anything than to ask something “stupid” or “boring”.
Think about it. In the middle of a conversation, I bet that you

almost never think “what a boring statement!” or “what a
stupid question!”. The conversation just keeps going.
So, the next time you are about to censor yourself because
you think that what you are going to say sounds stupid, try
saying it anyway. If you are usually too quiet, it’s better to say
something than nothing.[8]
12. The interview-trap and how to avoid it

The interview-trap happens when you ask too many questions
without sharing enough about yourself.
It can be tempting to ask question upon question to keep the

conversation going, but this pressures the other person to do
all the real talking. And it starts getting weird for them to
open up when you barely reveal anything about yourself.
Give the other person a break by also contributing to the

conversation and revealing equally much about yourself.
After you’ve asked a question, throw in comments that reveal

something about yourself or what you think. You don’t want
the other person to feel that he or she reveals more than you
do.
Example of how to balance a conversation to avoid the
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interview-trap:
+ Hi! How are you doing?
– Good!
+ How do you know people here?
– I know Martin and Lucy.
+ Oh, cool. I’ve known Lucy since high school. She’s the best!
How did you two meet?
In the last sentence, I revealed that I also know Lucy. That

little piece of information is enough to break off the
“interview-vibe” and it also creates an opportunity for the
other person to ask me more about my relationship with Lucy.
If you realize that you’ve been asking too many questions, no

worries. Just break in with a statement, a story, or reveal
something about yourself.
13. Trying to avoid awkward silence makes it

worse – acknowledge it instead
When you acknowledge the silence it’s easier to move on and
makes the conversation more natural.[4]
Here are some examples of how to acknowledge silence or

awkwardness.
If you were talking about a topic, and then there’s not much
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more to say about it you can say:
“Good point. I guess that pretty much sums it all up.

*start a new topic*”
This one is funny if the other one made a joke/teased you, and
you don’t have a snappy comeback:
Touché (Basically means “You scored on me, I don’t

have a comeback, congrats!”. )
If the other person doesn’t seem to know how to respond, you

can say something like:
“Yeah, it’s a tricky subject, anyway… *keep talking*”
If the other person says something thoughtful, but you don’t

have a response, you can say:
Hmm, *scratch head/chin*, that’s an interesting point.

I’ll need to think about that.
14. Great figures in history knew how to use

silence in their communication
It’s often been believed that loud and outgoing “extroverts”
make the best leaders, politicians, entertainers, and
businessmen (and women).
Those who love to talk are shoved to the head of the group
and given the microphone, whilst the more silent types are
relegated to the background.
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But many people are slowly waking up to the fact that people
who prefer silence over talking are just as capable of
changing the world.
According to Susan Cain and her book “Quiet: The Power of

Introverts in a World that can’t Stop Talking,” some of the
best leaders and minds of history were labeled as introverts
throughout their lives, including Albert Einstein, Frederic
Chopin, Abraham Lincoln, Charles Darwin, and many, many
more.
These individuals weren’t afraid of silence and often used it to

their advantage.
For example, according to biographer Joseph Ellis, the great

American statesman George Washington had “the gift of
silence” and would often remain silent during debates.
He also never pretended to be a great orator – yes, public

speaking is not for everyone.
Yet this man literally changed the world…
So don’t be afraid of silence, or being quiet.
16. The ability to be silent and listen is

attractive
There is one thing you can do in a relationship that is almost
guaranteed to upset the other person: not listening.
Not listening to the other person has been blamed for
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countless breakups, divorces, and family quarrels.
People that don’t know how to listen effectively often find

themselves in failing relationships, or find it hard to attract a
partner.
On the other hand, those that do know how to stay silent and
listen – often have longer-lasting relationships, more friends,
and stronger connections.
In fact, according to a recent Men’s Health survey on what

makes a man attractive, 53 percent of respondents agreed
that the ability to be silent and listen was the most attractive
practical trait that they look for in a partner.
In other words, women like men who are good listeners and
comfortable with silence.
And no doubt, men appreciate a woman who’s there for him

and gives her undivided attention, too.
Of course, it’s not hard to see why being a good listener is so

highly desired. Everyone wants to be heard as it helps you
feel appreciated and valued for who you are.
So the next time you find yourself on a date where you seem
to be doing most of the talking, take a step back and listen.
It’s attractive to be comfortable with silence and listen. You
don’t need to fill every gap with words.
Your date will appreciate the window you’ve given them to

express themselves.
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16. An example conversation between two

strangers
Let’s say that you are new at your job or new in school.
At lunch, you end up next to a co-worker or classmate. For

the sake of the example, let’s say the other person is really
nervous and doesn’t say much at all – so you have to lead the
conversation.
-You: Hi, I’m Viktor!
-Stranger: Hi, I’m Josh!
-How are you doing?
Initiating a conversation should be as simple as possible.

Nothing fancy here.
-I’m good.
-Where are you from?
When you come across people who are not super-social, you
will probably have to fire off a couple of questions before you
can expect to get them into the conversation. They need to
get warmed up.
-I’m from town.
-Ah, were you born here?
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-Yes
-I think I’m starting to get my head around this town now.

Hey, do you know some library or some good place to study in
this city?
I make a statement to break off the questions, and follow it up

with a new question, making it easier for Josh to carry on
with the conversation. Instead of trying to come up with
questions, I ask something I already have been wondering
about. It makes the conversation more natural.
(Josh starts explaining, and at the same time gets warmed up

talking to you)
– Where do you like to be when you study?
– I think I prefer just sitting at home or sometimes being in

the library.
– By the way, what phone is that?
Here, I didn’t come up with anything to relate to Josh’s reply,

so I changed the subject to the phone he had on the table. You
can talk about almost anything as long as it relates to the
conversation or the situation. There’s also a possibility that
Josh likes his phone, and then it’s something he’s emotionally
connected to.
(Josh talks about his phone)
– I’m thinking about getting a new phone, would you
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recommend your model?
(Josh talks)
– So what’s your plan, do you want to stay here, or do you

want to live somewhere else in the future?
(Josh explains that he wants to live in Berlin)
– I see, that’s a place I want to visit, actually. Why Berlin?
(Josh explains)
– OK, so it’s mainly the culture and the atmosphere.
Here, I didn’t come up with anything more on the “Berlin”

thread for the moment, so I summarized what he had just
said. Summaries are great to make the other person notice
that you are alert and care about what he or she is saying,
and you can always use this “summary trick” even if your
head’s blank.
– Exactly! And also…(It’s easy for Josh to talk about

something he likes, so now he starts talking more about
Berlin.)
– I should go there someday. How do you spend your

weekends in this town?
– There are a lot of clubs, but I spend most of my time

gaming, actually.
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– What games?
Notice how I repeatedly let him explain things, and that as

soon as I didn’t come up with something to say about the
current subject, I went back to a previous one.
(Josh explains what games he plays)
– I’m playing [ that game] too. What level… (The conversation

continues from there)
We now reached a mutual interest. The small talk is over, and

the conversation becomes interesting. Now, both Josh and I
can come up with things to say without effort.
In real life, you shouldn’t be this calculating. The

comments are here to illustrate the principles of conversation
that we went through earlier.
In real life, it’s about practicing these principles in

conversations over time so that after a while, you can use
them without consciously thinking about them.
With many of the people you come across, you will be able to
find some kind of mutual interest or experiences or opinions,
as long as you ask the right questions.
Here I came across a mutual interest – the gaming. From that

point on, the conversation continued without effort because
we were talking about something that we both were
passionate about.
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If we extract what we’ve learned from this conversation,

keep these questions in mind:
Where is he from?
What’s his/her feelings/opinion on the subject?
Can he/she explain this matter to me?
What were we talking about previously that we can go
back to?
Has he/she heard about that interesting thing I heard?
17. The psychology behind why awkward

silences happen
An awkward silence usually happens when you (or the other
person) does one of the following things:
1. One of you runs out of things to say (Click here for a

solution)
2. One of you gives a too short or one-word answer to a
question[2, 5]
3. One of you says something weird or unexpected that the
other person doesn’t know how to respond to [2, 10]
4. One of you misuse a turn-yielding or suppressing signal
of whose turn it is to speak [3]
5. One of you says something offensive that the other
person doesn’t want to respond to
6. One of you wants to end the conversation (Click here to
see how to end a conversation)
7. One of you doesn’t want to talk
8. One of you misinterpret a comfortable silence or a
pause as awkward and panic – making it awkward [1]
9. One of you doesn’t know how to respond to
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something[10]
Check out this guide if you want to stop being socially

awkward.
18. It’s OK to break the rules of this guide

The key to having a great conversation is not taking it too
seriously. The more relaxed you get, the better the
conversation will flow.
If something slips out of your mouth that is the total opposite

of what this guide says, that’s OK! Actually, it’s usually better
for a conversation if you don’t watch your tongue all the time.
So, follow this guide, but don’t be afraid to break its rules –
and you’ll be on your way to having a relaxed, flowing
conversation that everyone will enjoy.
If you liked this guide, you’ll love this:
How to stop being uncomfortable around people.
How to improve your eye contact with others.
Before your next conversation

Hey!
Don’t get overwhelmed by all the advice in this guide.
You can’t learn everything at once. Select one idea you
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like and implement it in your conversations. When you can do

it naturally, come back to this guide and pick a new technique
to practice.
References:
1. Mukawa, N., Sasaki, H., & Kimura, A. (2014, August).
How do verbal/bodily fillers ease embarrassing
situations during silences in conversations?. In The 23rd
IEEE International Symposium on Robot and Human
Interactive Communication (pp. 30-35). IEEE.
2. Bruneau, T. J. (1973). Communicative silences: Forms
and functions. Journal of communication, 23(1), 17-46.
3. Duncan, S. (1972). Some signals and rules for taking
speaking turns in conversations. Journal of personality
and social psychology, 23(2), 283.
4. Clegg, J. W. (2012). The importance of feeling awkward:
A dialogical narrative phenomenology of socially
awkward situations. Qualitative Research in Psychology,
9(3), 262-278.
5. McLaughlin, M. L., & Cody, M. J. (1982). Awkward
silences: Behavioral antecedents and consequences of
the conversational lapse. Human communication
research, 8(4), 299-316.
6. Anthony, M Martin, Swinson, Richard P. (2008). The
Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook Second Edition pp.
112-113. Oakland, CA
7. Gilovich, T., Savitsky, K., & Medvec, V. H. (1998). The
illusion of transparency: Biased assessments of others’
ability to read one’s emotional states. Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology, 75(2), 332-346.
8. Moscovitch, D. A., Rodebaugh, T. L., & Hesch, B. D.
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(2012, February). How awkward! Social anxiety and the

perceived consequences of social blunders. Retrieved
July 23, 2019, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
/pmc/articles/PMC3260374/
9. Zou, J. B., Hudson, J. L., & Rapee, R. M. (2007, October).
The effect of attentional focus on social anxiety.
Retrieved July 23, 2019, from
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17521604
10. Clegg, J. (2012). Stranger situations: Examining a self-
regulatory model of socially awkward encounters.
Group Processes and Intergroup Relations, 15 (6),
693-712 DOI: 10.1177/1368430212441637
11. Mellings, T. M., & Alden, L. E. (2000). Cognitive
processes in social anxiety: The effects of self-focus,
rumination and anticipatory processing. Behaviour
Research and Therapy,38(3), 243-257.
doi:10.1016/s0005-7967(99)00040-6
David Morin
8 years ago, I committed to build
my social confidence and become
great at connecting with people.
Hundreds of books and thousands

of interactions later, I’m ready to
share with the world what I’ve learned.
The interest in my findings has been beyond my
dreams. We now have 30 000 members taking our
courses. Perhaps you’ve seen my writing in magazines
like Business Insider and Lifehacker.
27 of 30 12/11/19, 4:34 AM
Follow me on Twitter or Read more.
Viktor Sander B.Sc., B.A.

Viktor is SocialPro’s expert in
communication and relationships.
He has a B.A. with a major in

Psychology at University of
Gothenburg and a B.Sc. with a
major in Biological Engineering at Chalmers
University of Technology
Before he joined SocialPro, he worked as a

relationship and dating coach.
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This page was last updated on November 28, 2019
2 thoughts on “How to Avoid Awkward Silence – The

Complete Guide”
Anonymous
August 8, 2019 at 2:21 pm
thank you
Reply
Viktor Sander B.Sc., B.A.

August 13, 2019 at 9:53 am
Glad you liked it! �
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29 of 30 12/11/19, 4:34 AM
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How to Avoid Awkward Silence - The Complete G... https://socialpronow.

Free training for overthinkers About Blog Products

How to Avoid Awkward

By David Morin & Viktor Sander | Last updated: August 13, 2019

In this guide, you’ll learn what to do when the conversation

My name is Viktor Sander (B.Sc., B.A. with a major in

Here are my 18 best tips to avoid awkward silence:

1. 3 lifeline-questions to ask when it’s

Lifeline-question 1: Where are you from?

This one is great to use at the beginning of a conversation

Lifeline-question 2: Did you hear that [Insert

Did you hear that they will hire more people?

Lifeline-question 3: “How do you know people

This one is perfect at a party or social event. It’s usually one

2. When you think the other person is

But in reality, they might think that the awkward silence is

And regardless of whose “fault” it is, people try to solve the

The next time there’s an awkward silence, remember

No need to panic, they aren’t waiting for you. The other

3. Give more than bare minimum answers

If we give bare minimum answers, like just answering “yes”

To keep a conversation going, the other person needs some

Examples of what not to say if you want to avoid awkward

+ What’s your favorite food?

Examples of what to say in an awkward silence to keep a

– I study Computer science at our local University. I’m on my

+ What’s your favorite food?

– Neapolitan style Pizza, it reminds me of when I went to

4. Talk about feelings and opinions instead of

Asking questions about topics people aren’t interested in is

Things to talk about that people are emotionally connected

Their future plans

How did you like living in [city/country]?

These questions shouldn’t be asked out of the blue; they

Here are many more questions to ask friends.

Research shows that people who are genuinely interested in

Ask “you-questions” to keep a conversation going

They all contain the word “you”.

You-questions are great to avoid awkward silence and to

5. Use earlier subjects you talked about when

You’ve hit a wall.

Example of conversational threading

– How was your weekend?

– Good. I didn’t do anything special though. (The conversation

– How was the art class you mentioned last time?

– Did you manage to get your apartment sold?

– How is Lucy doing after the surgery?

Click here to read our guide on how to make interesting

6. Awkward silence can be a sign that it’s

Ending a conversation is just as much about body language as

7. What you say doesn’t need to have a point

The problem here is that we want the other person to talk so

When you keep asking them questions when they’re feeling

Do this to break the cycle of awkwardness

This seems pointless at ﬁrst. But immediately, new things to

jump in where they hear something interesting.

The point is that your story shouldn’t have a

Telling a story like this is like the conversational equivalent to

8. Decrease your nervosity or anxiety by

self-consciousness from even happening – focus on the other

Focus on them by thinking about what they’re talking about

9. Ask them to explain something to break

When the conversation goes quiet, ask something along these

“Yeah, it’s a tricky subject, anyway… keep talking”

Hmm, scratch head/chin, that’s an interesting point.