MEDIATOR PERSONALITY (INFP, -A/-T)

Mediator personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in
even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things
better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy,
Mediators have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising
just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately
high for the Mediator personality type – but when they find like-minded people
to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and
inspiration.

Being a part of the Diplomat Role group, Mediators are guided by their
principles, rather than by logic (Analysts), excitement (Explorers), or
practicality (Sentinels). When deciding how to move forward, they will look to
honor, beauty, morality and virtue – Mediators are led by the purity of their
intent, not rewards and punishments. People who share the Mediator
personality type are proud of this quality, and rightly so, but not everyone
understands the drive behind these feelings, and it can lead to isolation.
All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not
wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost.
J. R. R. Tolkien
We Know What We Are, but Know Not What We May Be
At their best, these qualities enable Mediators to communicate deeply with
others, easily speaking in metaphors and parables, and understanding and
creating symbols to share their ideas. Fantasy worlds in particular fascinate
Mediators, more than any other personality type. The strength of their
visionary communication style lends itself well to creative works, and it comes
as no surprise that many famous Mediators are poets, writers and actors.
Understanding themselves and their place in the world is important to
Mediators, and they explore these ideas by projecting themselves into their
work.

Mediators have a talent for self-expression, revealing their beauty and their
secrets through metaphors and fictional characters.
Mediators’ ability with language doesn’t stop with their native tongue, either –
as with most people who share the Diplomat personality types, they are
considered gifted when it comes to learning a second (or third!) language.
Their gift for communication also lends itself well to Mediators’ desire for
harmony, a recurring theme with Diplomats, and helps them to move forward
as they find their calling.

Listen to Many People, but Talk to Few

Unlike their Extraverted cousins though, Mediators will focus their attention on
just a few people, a single worthy cause – spread too thinly, they’ll run out of
energy, and even become dejected and overwhelmed by all the bad in the
world that they can’t fix. This is a sad sight for Mediators’ friends, who will
come to depend on their rosy outlook.

If they are not careful, Mediators can lose themselves in their quest for good
and neglect the day-to-day upkeep that life demands. Mediators often drift into
deep thought, enjoying contemplating the hypothetical and the philosophical
more than any other personality type. Left unchecked, Mediators may start to
lose touch, withdrawing into “hermit mode”, and it can take a great deal of
energy from their friends or partner to bring them back to the real world.

Luckily, like the flowers in spring, Mediator’s affection, creativity, altruism and
idealism will always come back, rewarding them and those they love perhaps
not with logic and utility, but with a world view that inspires compassion,
kindness and beauty wherever they go.
MEDIATOR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES
Mediator Strengths

 Idealistic – Mediators’ friends and loved ones will come to admire and
depend on them for their optimism. Their unshaken belief that all people
are inherently good, perhaps simply misunderstood, lends itself to an
incredibly resilient attitude in the face of hardship.
 Seek and Value Harmony – People with the Mediator personality type
have no interest in having power over others, and don’t much care for
domineering attitudes at all. They prefer a more democratic approach,
and work hard to ensure that every voice and perspective is heard.
 Open-Minded and Flexible – A live-and-let-live attitude comes
naturally to Mediators, and they dislike being constrained by rules.
Mediators give the benefit of the doubt too, and so long as their
principles and ideas are not being challenged, they’ll support others’
right to do what they think is right.
 Very Creative – Mediators combine their visionary nature with their
open-mindedness to allow them to see things from unconventional
perspectives. Being able to connect many far-flung dots into a single
theme, it’s no wonder that many Mediators are celebrated poets and
authors.
  Passionate and Energetic – When something captures Mediators’
imagination and speaks to their beliefs, they go all in, dedicating their
time, energy, thoughts and emotions to the project. Their shyness keeps
them from the podium, but they are the first to lend a helping hand
where it’s needed.
 Dedicated and Hard-Working – While others focusing on the
challenges of the moment may give up when the going gets tough,
Mediators (especially Assertive ones) have the benefit of their far-
reaching vision to help them through. Knowing that what they are doing
is meaningful gives people with this personality type a sense of purpose
and even courage when it comes to accomplishing something they
believe in.

Mediator Weaknesses

 Too Idealistic – Mediators often take their idealism too far, setting
themselves up for disappointment as, again and again, evil things
happen in the world. This is true on a personal level too, as Mediators
may not just idealize their partners, but idolize them, forgetting that no
one is perfect.
 Too Altruistic – Mediators sometimes see themselves as selfish, but
only because they want to give so much more than they are able to.
This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, as they try to push themselves
 to commit to a chosen cause or person, forgetting to take care of the
needs of others in their lives, and especially themselves.
 Impractical – When something captures Mediators’ imagination, they
can neglect practical matters like day-to-day maintenance and simple
pleasures. Sometimes people with the Mediator personality type will
take this asceticism so far as to neglect eating and drinking as they
pursue their passion or cause.
 Dislike Dealing With Data – Mediators are often so focused on the big
picture that they forget the forest is made of individual trees. Mediators
are in tune with emotions and morality, and when the facts and data
contradict their ideals, it can be a real challenge for them.
 Take Things Personally – Mediators often take challenges and
criticisms personally, rather than as inspiration to reassess their
positions. Avoiding conflict as much as possible, Mediators will put a
great deal of time and energy into trying to align their principles and the
criticisms into a middle ground that satisfies everybody.
 Difficult to Get to Know – Mediators are private, reserved and self-
conscious. This makes them notoriously difficult to really get to know,
and their need for these qualities contributes to the guilt they often feel
for not giving more of themselves to those they care about.

MEDIATOR RELATIONSHIPS
Mediators are dreamy idealists, and in the pursuit of the perfect relationship,
this quality shows strongest. Never short on imagination, Mediators dream of
the perfect relationship, forming an image of this pedestalled ideal that is their
soul mate, playing and replaying scenarios in their heads of how things will
be. This is a role that no person can hope to fill, and people with the Mediator
personality type need to recognize that nobody’s perfect, and that
relationships don’t just magically fall into place – they take compromise,
understanding and effort.
Love All, Trust a Few, Do Wrong to None
Fortunately these are qualities that Mediators are known for, and while it can
be a challenge to separate long-fostered fantasy from reality, Mediators’
tendency to focus their attention on just a few people in their lives means that
they will approach new relationships wholeheartedly, with a sense of inherent
value, dedication and trust.

Mediators share a sincere belief in the idea of relationships – that two people
can come together and make each other better and happier than they were
alone, and they will take great efforts to show support and affection in order to
make this ideal a reality.

But Mediators aren’t necessarily in a rush to commit – they are, after all,
Prospecting (P) types, and are almost always looking to either establish a new
relationship or improve an existing one – they need to be sure they’ve found
someone compatible. In dating, Mediators will often start with a flurry of
comparisons, exploring all the ways the current flame matches with the ideal
they’ve imagined. This progression can be a challenge for a new partner, as
not everyone is able to keep up with Mediators’ rich imagination and moral
standards – if incompatibilities and conflict over this initial rush mount, the
relationship can end quickly, with Mediators likely sighing that “it wasn’t meant
to be.”

As a relationship takes hold, people with the Mediator personality type will
show themselves to be passionate, hopeless romantics, while still respecting
their partners’ independence. Mediators take the time to understand those
they care about, while at the same time helping them to learn, grow and
change. While Mediators are well-meaning, not everyone appreciates what
can come across as constantly being told that they need to improve – or, put
another way, that they’re not good enough. Mediators would be aghast to find
that their intents were interpreted this way, but it’s a real risk, and if their
partner is as averse to conflict as Mediators themselves, it can boil under the
surface for some time before surfacing, too late to fix.

Better Three Hours Too Soon Than a Minute Too Late

This aversion to conflict, while contributing greatly to stability in the
relationship when done right, is probably the most urgent quality for Mediators
to work on. Between their sensitivity and imagination, Mediators are prone to
internalizing even objective statements and facts, reading into them themes
and exaggerated consequences, sometimes responding as though these
comments are metaphors designed to threaten the very foundations of their
principles. Naturally this is almost certainly an overreaction, and Mediators
should practice what they preach, and focus on improving their ability to
respond to criticism with calm objectivity, rather than irrational accusations
and weaponized guilt.

But that’s at their uncommon worst – at their best, Mediators do everything

they can to be the ideal partner, staying true to themselves and encouraging
their partners to do the same. Mediators take their time in becoming physically
intimate so that they can get to know their partners, using their creativity to
understand their wants and needs, and adapt to them. People with this
personality type are generous in their affection, with a clear preference for
putting the pleasure of their partners first – it is in knowing that their partners
are satisfied that Mediators truly feel the most pleasure.

MEDIATOR FRIENDS
The true friends of people with the Mediator personality type tend to be few
and far between, but those that make the cut are often friends for life. The
challenge is the many dualities that this type harbors when it comes to being
sociable – Mediators crave the depth of mutual human understanding, but tire
easily in social situations; they are excellent at reading into others’ feelings
and motivations, but are often unwilling to provide others the same insight into
themselves – it’s as though Mediators like the idea of human contact, but not
the reality of social contact.
How Poor Are They That Have Not Patience
In a lot of ways, this limits the potential pool of friends to other types in the
Diplomat Role group, who are able to pick up on the subtle clues left by their
Mediator friends, and who are more likely than not to enjoy something of a
human enigma. A friendship with a Turbulent Executive (ESTJ-T) on the other
hand, governed by social conventions and community participation as they
are, would almost be a non-sequitur – though Mediators may find the idea of
being paired with their opposite fascinating enough to outweigh the practical
challenges to such a friendship.

To top it all off, ideas like networking and “the friend of my friend is my friend”
hold little weight with Mediators. Friendships are earned on their own merit, by
dint of the intuitive respect Mediators have for those with similar principles and
values, rather than more practical alignments like those of coworkers.
Mediators’ tendency to protect their sensitive inner cores and values from
criticism, especially if they are on the more turbulent side of the spectrum,
means that acquaintances will likely get nowhere near them without sustained
and tactful effort.

But, if Mediators’ shields are properly navigated and they decide to open up
and trust another person, a strong, stable friendship will ensue, marked by
passionate support and idealism, subtle poetic wit, and a level of emotional
insight that is hard to match. Mediators’ friends will be rewarded with calm,
sensitivity and depth, and an ever-present desire to help, learn, and grow. But
even the most confident and assertive Mediators will only be able to keep up
this relaxed and present exterior for so long.

Even as friendships grow stronger and deeper, and friends are lulled into a
sense of mutual understanding, Mediators’ enigmatic qualities will never truly
vanish.

Mediators will always need to disappear for a while, removing themselves

from others so they can re-center on their own minds and feelings. Often
enough people with the Mediator personality type will emerge from this time
alone having come to some momentous decision that even their closest
friends didn’t know was weighing on them, evading even the option of
receiving the sort of support and advice they so readily give. Such is
Mediators’ way, for better or for worse.

MEDIATOR PARENTS
People who share the Mediator personality type share a tendency to not only
strive to learn and grow as principled, moral individuals, but to bring
likeminded people on that journey with them. In their own subtle, often shy
way, Mediators want to lead others forward, as kindred spirits – they will find
no greater opportunity for this than in parenthood.

From the start, Mediator parents are warm, loving and supportive, and take
immeasurable joy in the wide-eyed wonder of their children as they explore,
learn, and grow. People with the Mediator personality type will give their
children the freedom they need to do this, keeping an open mind and letting
their children gain their own sense of understanding. At the same time,
Mediator parents will try to provide a backdrop to this freedom and
experience, establishing a set of morals and values that guide that liberty with
a sense of personal responsibility.
Mediators never stop encouraging their children to learn and grow, and they
consider it their duty to inspire and motivate them, both by using their
sensitivity and intuition to speak in their children’s language and by leading
the way themselves.
However, this sense of responsibility has a harder side – if their children fall
foul of their Mediator parents’ values, it will not be taken lightly. People with
the Mediator personality type take their responsibilities in parenthood
seriously, and in this measure above all others.

In some ways, Mediators’ tendency to hide their inner selves from view can be
an advantage in parenting, as they are able to portray themselves as good
role models on the outside, shielding their loved ones not just from their own
occasional anger and depression, but from the broader evils in the world as
well. This helps Mediators to demonstrate outwardly the moral lessons they
want their children to adopt, and at the same time to establish a sense of
harmony in the household.

Modest Doubt Is Called the Beacon of the Wise

The biggest challenge for Mediator parents, especially more Turbulent types
who often have even more trouble with self-doubt than most, is to establish
more practical and day-to-day structures and rules. Mediators may be able to
convey the abstract value of honesty with remarkable skill, but it’s not always
easy to equate that idea with the practical reality of their children being home
from the movies when they said they were going to be, and it’s especially
challenging when these misunderstandings result in conflict. In these
situations, Mediator personalities do best with a partner who is able to play a
stronger hand in more administrative tasks than they can, so they can focus
on the underlying spirit of those rules.

MEDIATOR CAREERS
It is perhaps more challenging for Mediators to find a satisfying career than
any other type. Though intelligent, the regimented learning style of most
schools makes long years earning an advanced degree a formidable
undertaking for people with the Mediator personality type – at the same time,
that’s often what’s needed to advance in a field that rings true for them.
Mediators often wish that they could just be, doing what they love without the
stress and rigor of professional life.

Oftentimes, as with so many things, the answer lies somewhere in the middle,
in a line of work that begins with passion and dedication, but which comes to
require training so that the academia feels intimately linked to that passion.
Too many Mediators drift in frustration, ultimately succumbing to the
necessities of day-to-day life in a job that wasn’t meant for them. But it turns
out that, despite such exacting demands, modern economics places a
premium on the very keys to Mediators’ challenges: their creativity,
independence, and need for meaningful relationships with individuals who
need their help.
There’s Place and Means for Everyone
First and foremost is seemingly every Mediators’ dream growing up – to
become an author. While a novel is a classic choice, it is rarely an accessible
one, and there are many viable options for freedom-loving Mediators. The
internet brings to the world the opportunities of blogging and freelance work –
as organizations expand their reach beyond their native tongues, they will
come to depend on Mediator personality types, with their gift for language and
written expression, to take their rougher translations and stale pitches and
inject them with a sense of beauty and poetry. Smaller organizations will need
more than ever to express with elegance the value they bring to local
communities.

Most any cause, idea, or field can benefit from the artful and natural
expression that Mediators bring to the table, and Mediators have their pick of
the world in choosing who they work with.

The real beauty here is that it takes a core interest that people with the
Mediator personality type share, while helping a cause they believe in,
independently, through creative expression and personal growth, and makes it
applicable to any interest there is. There will always be a need, and now more
than ever, to win people’s hearts and minds with the written word.
Some Mediators will prefer a still more personal touch, being able to work
face-to-face with clients, seeing that their personal effort really impacts
another’s quality of life. Service careers such as massage therapy, physical
rehabilitation, counselling, social work, psychology and even academic roles
and retraining can be exceptionally rewarding for Mediators, who take pride in
the progress and growth they help to foster. People with the Mediator
personality type have a tendency to put others’ interests ahead of their own, a
mixed blessing by itself, but when a patient takes their first unaided step in the
long road to recovery after an accident, nothing will feel more rewarding than
that selflessness.

If to Do Were as Easy as to Know What Were Good to

Do...
Where Mediators will not thrive is in a high-stress, team-heavy, busy
environment that burdens them with bureaucracy and tedium. Mediators need
to be able to work with creativity and consideration – high-pressure
salespeople they are not. It can be a challenge to avoid these roles, as they
are the basis for so much starting work, and it’s often a risk to break away into
something less dependable, but more rewarding. To find a career that
resonates with Mediators’ values though, that’s more than just a job,
sometimes it’s just what needs to be done.

MEDIATORS IN THE WORKPLACE

In the workplace, Mediators face the challenge of taking their work and their
profession personally. To Mediators, if it isn’t worth doing, it isn’t really worth
doing, and this sense of moral purpose in their work colors everything from
how they respond to authority to how they express it. Though the way the
Mediator personality type shows through depends on the position, there are a
few basic truths about what Mediators seek in the workplace: they value
harmony, need an emotional and moral connection to their work, and loathe
bureaucratic tedium.
Mediator Subordinates
As subordinates, Mediators prefer latitude, and would much rather immerse
themselves in a project, alone or with a close team, than simply be told what
task to do and move on. People with the Mediator personality type aren’t
looking for easy, forgettable work that pays the bills, they’re looking for
meaningful work that they actually want to think about, and it helps for their
managers to frame responsibilities in terms of emotional merit rather than cold
rationalization or business for its own sake. Mediators would rather know that
their work will help to deliver a service they believe in than to know that the
bottom line has been boosted by 3%.

If these standards are met, managers will find an extremely dedicated and
considerate employee in Mediators. As idealistic opportunity-seekers
Mediators may not always work well in technical applications, where the facts
and logic really matter and critique is often necessary, but they work
beautifully in more human and creative endeavors. While some types,
especially those in the Analyst Role group, respond favorably to negative
feedback, taking criticism as an opportunity to not make the same mistake
twice, people with the Mediator personality type would much rather hear what
they did right and focus on what to do, rather than what not to.

Mediator Colleagues
Mediators feel most comfortable among colleagues – they aren’t interested in
controlling others, and have a similar distaste for being controlled. Among
their colleagues, Mediators will feel freer to share their ideas, and while they
may maintain some psychological distance, they will make every effort to be
pleasant, friendly and supportive – so long as their coworkers reciprocate.
Mediators don’t like conflict or picking sides, and will do everything they can to
maintain harmony and cooperation.

Most of this comes down to good communication, which Mediators prefer to

conduct in person, for that personal touch, or in writing, where they can
compose and perfect their statements. People with the Mediator personality
type avoid using phones if they can, having the worst of both worlds, being
both detached and uncomposed. Mediators also like to feel like their
conversations are meaningful, and while they enjoy exploring philosophy more
than most, their patience for arbitrary hypothetical brainstorming or dense
technical discussions is limited.
Mediator Managers
As managers, Mediators are among the least likely to seem like managers –
their egalitarian attitudes lend respect to every subordinate, preferring
communication as human beings than as a boss/employee opposition. People
with the Mediator personality type are flexible, open-minded and give their
subordinates the tools they need, be they responsible delegation or an
intuitive and receptive sounding board, to get the job done. Keeping their eyes
on the horizon, Mediators set goals that achieve a desirable end, and help the
people working under them to make that happen.

There is a downside to this style, as sometimes the boss just needs to be the
boss. Mediators know how they feel about criticism, and are reluctant to
subject others to that same experience, whether it’s needed or even welcome.
Further complicating this role, when Mediators are under stress, as when
someone really does warrant criticism, they can become extremely emotional
– they may not show it, but it can affect their judgment, or even cause them to
withdraw inwards, in ways that can really hold back their team.

MEDIATOR PERSONALITY – CONCLUSION

Few personality types are as poetic and kind-hearted as Mediators. Their
altruism and vivid imagination allow Mediators to overcome many challenging
obstacles, more often than not brightening the lives of those around them.
Mediators’ creativity is invaluable in many areas, including their own personal
growth.

Yet Mediators can be easily tripped up in areas where idealism and altruism
are more of a liability than an asset. Whether it is finding (or keeping) a
partner, making friends, reaching dazzling heights on the career ladder or
planning for the future, Mediators need to put in a conscious effort to develop
their weaker traits and additional skills.
What you have read so far is just an introduction into the complex concept
that is the Mediator personality type. You may have muttered to yourself,
“wow, this is so accurate it’s a little creepy” or “finally, someone understands
me!” You may have even asked “how do they know more about me than the
people I’m closest to?”

This is not a trick. You felt understood because you were. We’ve studied how
Mediators think and what they need to reach their full potential. And no, we
did not spy on you – many of the challenges you’ve faced and will face in the
future have been overcome by other Mediators. You simply need to learn how
they succeeded.

But in order to do that, you need to have a plan, a personal roadmap. The
best car in the world will not take you to the right place if you do not know
where you want to go. We have told you how Mediators tend to behave in
certain circumstances and what their key strengths and weaknesses are. Now
we need to go much deeper into your personality type and answer “why?”,
“how?” and “what if?”

This knowledge is only the beginning of a lifelong journey. Are you ready to
learn why Mediators act in the way they do? What motivates and inspires
you? What you are afraid of and what you secretly dream about? How you
can unlock your true, exceptional potential?
Our premium profiles provide a roadmap towards a happier, more successful,
and more versatile YOU! They are not for everyone though – you need to be
willing and able to challenge yourself, to go beyond the obvious, to imagine
and follow your own path instead of just going with the flow. If you want to
take the reins into your own hands, we are here to help you.