POCKETA-POCKETA

by Ed Ballou

Copyright Ed Ballou, 2020 edballou@icloud.com

 POCKETA - POCKETA

TIME: the present

SETTING: an apartment, with the front door open

CHARACTERS:

FRED - a retired guy

AGNES - his wife, also retired

At Rise: Agnes sitting reading a book in their apartment - offstage, we hear the SOUND of jazz
music playing, diesel glow plugs buzzing, and the SOUND of an old Mercedes diesel starting -
pocketa-pocketa, pocketa-pocketa - Agnes looks at the door with annoyance, a pause.

FRED (Offstage)

Pocketa-pocketa, pocketa-pocketa! - my Panzer tank is idling down a hedgerow, waiting for a

Sherman tank to appear - pocketa-pocketa - there’s one - after him!

(SOUND of what passes for acceleration in the old

diesel engine)

Gunner - achtung! - below the turret - aim - fire!

(Fred makes the SOUND of a shell whistling away)

Boom! - got him! - take that, Amerikanzi! - another American flag for my turret!

(SOUND of the five-cylinder diesel being turned off

and stumbling to a stop, jazz stops - ENTER FRED)

FRED

Blew him right out of the water!

AGNES

I thought tanks fought on land..

FRED

You get the idea..

AGNES

Fred, that was an American tank you just blew up..

FRED

He had it coming - it was him or me..

AGNES

But you’re an American..

FRED

Huh! - and that out there is a 1985 Mercedes 300D Turbodiesel - I didn’t just buy a Rambler,
Agnes - that is one classic machine!

AGNES

Classic, huh? - then why is the stuffing coming out the seats, the windows stick, and the
paint’s pitted?

FRED

It’s becoming a classic, Agnes, soon as I can afford it! - I washed it and buffed up the rims -
tomorrow I’m buying engine cleaner, get that old diesel shining!

AGNES

Wonder if I’ll ever ride in it..

FRED

You will, Agnes, you will - pocketa-pocketa! - that car could cruise to New York City!

AGNES

Pocketa-pocketa - I wish you wouldn’t sit in that thing and drink while the engine is running..

FRED

It’s my shelter in place, Agnes - you have your books, I have my Mercedes..

AGNES

(Pauses)

The dog dug up the cat - again..

FRED

I thought I buried him deeper this time..

AGNES

Well, his leg’s sticking out..

FRED

Damn dog - last time Rollo dug up a cat, he chewed off the head and ate everything but the
eyeballs - guess they don’t taste so good..

AGNES

Could you bury the cat even deeper?

FRED

Okay, okay - I’ll plant him after lunch..

AGNES

You want me to bury him?

FRED

Would you?

AGNES

That’s your job..

FRED

I know, I know - look, Agnes, it’s not like he’s going anywhere - I’ll get to him after lunch - what
is for lunch?

AGNES

Eyeball soup - two big ones staring up at you, asking what just happened to my cat..

FRED

Oh, Agnes! - just throw in a pizza, while I go out to my Mercedes and adjust the turbo..

AGNES

A pizza without olives, because they would remind you of..

FRED

You got it!

(FRED EXITS - we hear the SOUND of the glow

plugs buzzing, and then the SOUNDS of the diesel
- pocketa-pocketa - and jazz, while Agnes pulls a
pizza from the refrigerator, puts it on counter, turns
dial on oven, sits down, reading her novel)

FRED (Offstage)

Spock! - put up the forcefields - turbocharge them! - Uhura, take the helm - Scotty, raise the
Klingons on the turbo phone, tell them we want them out of this star system, or we’ll turbadize
them! - Doc, what’s the status of the Klingon hostage?

(Change of tone)

He’s dead, Jim..

(Change of tone)

The Kilingons won’t be happy - but he’s useless to us now as a pawn - open the turbo doors
and blast his alien ass into the cosmos!

(A pause - SOUND of the diesel stumbling to a

stop, along with the jazz - ENTER FRED)

AGNES

I don’t believe the Starship Enterprise ran on diesel..

FRED

Oh, Agnes - you’re such a poodybutt..

AGNES

We live in different worlds, Fred - you with your Mercedes and me with my books - it’s a
wonder we’re still married - you know what I’m reading? - maybe we could talk about it..

(She goes back to reading)

FRED

(Pauses, sits down)

Agnes..

AGNES

Yes?

FRED

What you reading?

AGNES

‘Jacob’s Room’ by Sylvia Plath..

FRED

The chick who put her head in the oven?

AGNES

First place, she’s not a chick - she’s a world famous authoress - second place, she had issues..

FRED

I’ll say..

AGNES

Fred - where’s your sensitivity?

FRED

In my other pants.. pizza done?

AGNES

I was pre-warming the oven..

(Gets up, throws pizza in the oven)

.. you want everything right now..

FRED

I can’t help it, I’m a guy..

AGNES

Some guy - an old coot with an aging Mercedes..

FRED

You’re aging, too! - sorry you’re not married to some young lumberjack..

AGNES

I’d rather see you up a tree, than in a beat up car drinking wine and spouting fantasies..

FRED

That’s a classic out there, Agnes!

AGNES

You’re a classic, Fred..

(Continues reading)

FRED

(Pauses, looks at her reading)

What the hell happened to us, Agnes?

AGNES

You mean, what the hell happened to our romance? - it’s become a fantasy, running on diesel
fumes - pocketa-pocketa!

(Goes back to reading)

FRED

(Pauses)

I walked Rollo by the creek today - of course, he took his dump right as a woman with a mask
walked up - she went around to avoid us - Rollo didn’t care, all bent over - Mr. Natural!

AGNES

He’s just a dog, Fred..

FRED

I’m telling you, that dog would take a dump in front of Queen Elizabeth..

(A pause)

Guess we’ll just have to hunker down, the two of us, during this pandemic..

AGNES

When will it ever end?

FRED

God knows! - but while the pizza’s cooking, I’m going to the Mercedes, adjust something..

(FRED EXITS - Agnes goes back to reading her

book - a pause, the SOUNDS of jazz, glow plugs
buzzing, then the SOUND of the pocketa-pocketa
of the diesel, and the jazz)

FRED (Offstage)

Achtung! - run silent, run deep! - helmsman, vas ist en das periscope?

(Change of tone)

America convoy, Herr Fred, with escorts - but we line up lead ship, strike with torpedo!

(Change of tone)

Fire torpedo!

(Change of tone)

Yah, Mein Fred!

(Pauses)

Missed, Herr Fred! - torpedo run in front of bow..

(Change of tone)

Fire another!

(Change of tone)

Torpedo away! - running, Herr Fred.. hit amidships - blew American ship out of water!

(Change of tone)

Javohl, helmsman - good work!

(SOUNDS of the jazz stopping and the diesel

turning off and stumbling to a halt - ENTER FRED)

FRED

Another big score, Agnes!

AGNES

Fred, those were American sailors that drowned in your fantasy..

FRED

They shouldn’t have defied the Third Reich!

AGNES

Or the Mercedes?

FRED

(Sitting down)

You just don’t get it, Agnes..

(A pause)

AGNES

When was the last time you read a book?

FRED

Let’s see.. two or three years ago - that John Le Carre novel you wanted me read, said it was
great! - I put it down after three chapters - too much exposition, too little action!

AGNES

What happened to the DH Lawrence novel I gave you before that?

FRED

‘Women in Love’? - thought it was a lesbian novel, until I found it was women in love with men..

AGNES

It’s a literary classic..

FRED

I stopped at the wedding scene - too much detail - and where did he get those big words? -
I thought he was a coal miner’s son! - I had to use the dictionary way too much..

AGNES

That’s how you expand your vocabulary..

FRED

I’d rather read my Mercedes repair manual..

AGNES

Why don’t you try reading another book? - go to my bookcase, choose one..

FRED

(Pauses)

That’s what you do! - read books..

AGNES

We could talk about your book later - and who knows where that might lead?

FRED

(Pauses, gets up, goes to bookshelf, looks at titles,

pulls out a thick one, opens it, reads aloud)

“Well, Prince, Genoa and Lucca are now no more than private estates of the Bonaparte family.
No, I warn you, if you do not tell me we are at war, if you again allow yourself to palliate all the
infamies and atrocities of its Antichrist (upon my word, I believe he is), I don’t know you in the
future, you are no longer my friend, no longer my faithful slave, as you say. There, how do you
do, how do you do? I see I’m scaring you, sit down and talk to me.”

(Looks up)

Sounds like you..

AGNES

That’s ‘War and Peace’..

FRED

I’ll have it read by dinner..

AGNES

Fred, it’s a thousand pages..

FRED

(Sliding it back into the bookshelf_

You’re right, I’d need a wheelbarrow to carry it..

(Pulls out another book)

What’s this?

(Flips through it randomly, stops, reads aloud)

“Anyway, I followed the whole gang of howling poets to the reading at the Six Gallery that
night, which was, among other important things, the night of the birth of the San Francisco

Poetry Renaissance. Everyone was there. It was a mad night. And I was the one who got things
jumping by going around collecting dimes and quarters from the rather stiff audience standing
around in the gallery and coming back with three huge gallon jugs of California Burgundy and

getting them all pissed so that by eleven o’clock when Alvah Goldbrook was reading his,
wailing his poem “Wail” drunk with arms outspread everyone was yelling ‘Go! Go! Go!’ (like a
jam session)” - my kind of scene, people up late, doing things! - we’re in bed at nine - who’s
Alvah Goldberg and ‘Wail’?

AGNES

Sounded like Kerouac, one of the Beat writers from the Fifties - he used pseudonyms for
people he hung out with - the reference was to Allan Ginsberg and “Howl’..

FRED

Whatever.. I’m beat because I married you - I’ll read Kerouac, about these hip cats..

(Sits down, opens the book - Alice looks over at

him, continues reading her own novel, a pause)

FRED

(Reading)

Man, some of these cats seem so lonely..,

(Looks up)

.. you think we’re alone?

AGNES

I know I’m alone..

FRED

What are you talking about? - you got me..

AGNES

That’s what I mean..

FRED

What, we never talk?

AGNES

That’s not what I mean..

(Goes back to reading her novel)

FRED

(Pauses, looks at her reading)

How come you never told me you were lonely?

AGNES

You never asked..

FRED

How do I know what questions to ask? - why don’t you ask me questions?

AGNES

Okay.. do you think we’re the only ones in the universe?

FRED

Oh, no.. there are aliens, Agnes - and they’re not only out there, they’ve landed down here..

AGNES

Where?

FRED

Roswell, 1949! - they crashed their saucer - the government covered it up, but captured a
couple of them - one lived fifteen years! - they could communicate with him, but it broke him
psychologically - he must have felt lonely, the last alien from his ship..

AGNES

Did he have a name?

FRED

J-Rod..

AGNES

Sounds like a cosmic rapper - what did he die of?

FRED

I don’t know, maybe a virus..

AGNES

Like this one, the coronavirus?

FRED

Could have been - anyway, he was an alien - probably very susceptible to Earth viruses..

AGNES

As we seem to be..

FRED

Yes, COVID-19 is a danger.. and then I saw this movie, about a guy who found a special pair of
glasses - he could see aliens among us when he put them on - and they are among us, Agnes!

AGNES

So, you could be a alien..

FRED

I am an alien, Agnes! - you know Tesla?

AGNES

The car guy?

FRED

No, the guy who developed alternating current - he was a genius! - and he was also trying to
communicate with Mars - very hush-hush - of course, he was discredited - Agnes, I confess -
I, too, receive secret messages from Mars..

AGNES

(Pauses)

You’re not who I married.. what are these messages about?

FRED

I can’t tell you - they’re secret!

AGNES

I always suspected you were alien; you’re the hardy sort could survive a crash..

FRED

You said hardy! - and I was thinking of buying Hardy shoes this morning - what are the odds?

AGNES

What do you mean?

FRED

A billion to one! - and this morning I accidentally clicked on a Rogue fitness ad - then in traffic,
I got stuck behind a Nissan Rogue - the odds are against such coincidences - two incidents in
one day! - your world seems out of kilter only because we control reality from outside - life is a
cosmic game we put into play to amuse ourselves - don’t you Earthlings get the hints?

AGNES

Who’s we?

FRED

We aliens, Agnes - and we’re playing you! - but we are benevolent..

AGNES

(Pauses)

Have you thought of seeing a therapist, Fred?

FRED

Briefly.. and then I go out to my Mercedes, and everything is all right..

AGNES

(Pauses)

What else to you do in that Mercedes - besides drink and listen to jazz on the radio?

FRED

I open the sunroof - look up at the trees, the colors of the sun setting through the clouds..

then I look through the windshield and remember when my brother was alive.. he’s gone now,
and I feel unmoored, just drifting.. but that Mercedes centers me, with its diesel going pocketa-
pocketa, as if it can keep on going forever, defying the ephemeral nature of life…

(Pauses)

.. I need to go out now, to the Mercedes…

 10

(FRED EXITS - a pause, SOUND of glow plugs

buzzing, jazz - SOUND of the Mercedes diesel
starting up - pocketa-pocketa)

FRED (Offstage)

Mate! - hard a-lee! - watch that pleasure craft!

(Calls out)

Cabin cruiser, change course! - I’m captain of a tug pushing a big barge of phosphate - and I’m
coming through! - I have the right of way, by might if not by right - steer clear! - we gotta get
this barge up the Mississippi, unload it and fill it with coal for the power company - change
course now, cabin cruiser!

(Fred mimics the SOUND of a crash)

Dammit, we split that Chris-Craft in two! - now, what am I gonna tell the company? - mate, all
astern full! - crew, emergency stations! - make ready to take on survivors - and once they’re
aboard, all ahead full, we gotta deliver this load o’ phosphate!

(SOUNDS of diesel and jazz stopping - ENTER

FRED)

FRED

Maritime emergency, Agnes!

AGNES

Pizza emergency, Fred - it’s almost burnt - grab a plate, mate, and sit down!

(She pulls pizza out of oven, plops it on cutting

board, cuts it with pizza wheel as Fred goes
to refrigerator, pulls out a bottle of wine, grabs
a wine opener and two glasses)

FRED

I can’t eat pizza without wine - what about you, Agnes? - it’s a nice Pinot Grigio..

AGNES

You know I don’t drink..

FRED

.. much - you just don’t want to drink with me..

AGNES

With you, it’s a lifestyle..

FRED

Agnes, just have a glass of wine with me - you used to - it’ll start a conversation..

AGNES

(Pauses)

Okay, just one glass..

FRED

(Pouring two glasses)

Atta’ girl, Agnes - I’m gonna pour my heart out to you!

AGNES

As long as I don’t have to drink with you in the Mercedes..

 11

(They sit across from each other, eating pizza and

drinking wine)

AGNES

Fred, shouldn’t we be wearing masks when we’re talking?

FRED

What for? - we’re married - whatever you got, I got - but let’s not talk at each other - let’s talk
past each other - don’t make eye contact with me, Agnes!

AGNES

Maybe we should wear masks around our necks..

FRED

As a talisman?

(A pause)

AGNES

I don’t think I have the virus - do you?

FRED

I don’t know, I don’t think so..

AGNES

Why don’t you get tested?

FRED

Why don’t you? - who wants to wait in line for two hours to get results in three days -
meantime, everything could change - besides, I really don’t want to know..

AGNES

Me neither..

(Pauses)

I don’t think I have it..

FRED

Stop thinking! - either we have it, or we don’t - at least, we’re practicing social distancing - six
feet, Agnes!

AGNES

We don’t have to practice social distancing - we’re man and wife..

(Pauses, leans into him, kisses him briefly)

.. and I still love you..

FRED

Ahh, nice! - ”A rose by any other name..”— Shakespeare..

AGES

I forgot you went to college..

FRED

An MA in Electrical Engineering from Harvard, Alice - Summa Cum Laude!

 12

AGNES

I recall it was an AA in nothing from the local junior college..

FRED

But I did transfer to a state college!

AGNES

After only three and a half years..

FRED

I was just trying to find myself..

AGNES

Did you?

FRED

Found a degree in philosophy - useless, but it did get me my teaching credential..

AGNES

I got my degree from Cal..

FRED

Let’s not go there, again - in Comparative Lit..

AGNES

And it got me my teaching credential..

FRED

And we met - “those who can, do - and those who can’t, teach”.. - I taught high school math..

AGNES

I taught high school English..

FRED

I know, I know, Agnes- what else can we talk about?

AGNES

They say never talk about politics and religion..

FRED

Okay, let’s talk politics - I say, “Orange Man Out!”..

AGNES

I agree..

(A pause)

FRED

That’s it?

AGNES

What else is there to say?

 13

FRED

Okay then, religion - you went to church entirely too much!

AGNES

Once a week on Sunday? - you didn’t even go to church, they would’t let you in..

FRED

I have my personal belief..

AGNES

That mumbling in the hallway, before you come to bed?

FRED

Mumbling, I’m not mumbling..

AGNES

You’re praying, then - who to?

FRED

(Pauses)

Jesus Christ..

AGNES

He’s been gone two thousand years, dead at thirty-three - and only a carpenter..

FRED

He was a true prophet, Agnes! - and look at your God, floating in space - no presence - never
even been to Earth!

AGNES

I thought he came down in the person of Christ..

FRED

You want to get into religion? - all right! - where do we go when we die?

AGNES

I’m going to heaven - and you’re going to purgatory - twenty years for spousal abuse..

FRED

Heaven, hah! - you’re going to get eaten by worms, Alice - back to the earth!

AGNES

I told you, I want to be cremated..

FRED

Burned up? - not me! - that’s going to hurt!

AGNES

You’ll be dead, Fred..

FRED

You ain’t flaming me! - I want to be buried in a cemetery - pretty flowers on my grave!

 14

AGNES

I’ll bring you petunias - what do you want carved on your tombstone?

FRED

(Pauses)

“Smells like feet in here!”

AGNES

You’re impossible..

(A pause)

FRED

What about the cosmos?

AGNES

What about it?

FRED

I mean, what does it all mean?

AGNES

It doesn’t mean anything - we’re just here..

FRED

For what purpose?

AGNES

Fred, we are not that important to the universe - we’re insignificant - nobody put us here,
because we’re nothing - just the product of an accidental spark in some random chemicals on
a remote glimmer of a planet - we could have turned out green with three heads..

FRED

Not me.. I was meant to be here - for what purpose, I’m just now figuring out..

AGNES

To eternally fix that Mercedes?

FRED

No, no - the Mercedes is only part of my journey to a much greater destiny..

AGNES

Discoverer of immortality - first man to contact aliens? - developer of a faster-than-light drive?

FRED

No.. I’m going to be the first person to know exactly how he fits into the cosmos..

AGNES

I know how you fit in - pocketa-pocketa..

FRED

It’s bigger than the Mercedes, Agnes..

(Looking up at the ceiling)

.. way bigger…

 15

(A pause)

AGNES

(Looking at him)

Your sideburns are getting longer - so’s your hair..

FRED

I’m just glad I have hair - and how can I go to my barber? - he’s closed..

AGNES

So’s my hairdresser.. how long you think this shutdown will last?

FRED

I don’t know! - how long will this virus last? - it’s the end of life as we knew it..

(A pause)

AGNES

Will you take the Mercedes to get us some food? - we’re almost out..

FRED

Okay, I’ll risk my life - you want to go?

AGNES

No, I’ll wait here - and get some salad stuff - wait, I’ll give you a list! - and go easy when you
pull out the driveway, you always go off in a cloud of smoke - a wonder the neighbors don’t
complain..

FRED

If they’re still alive - I’ve haven’t seen them in five weeks - I’ll adjust the glow plugs - anyway,
I’m not going right now..

(A pause)

Whatever happened to your sister - she still homeless?

AGNES

She’s living in a stall in a rest room in some beach town - someone took a picture of her leaning
against a wall, reading a newspaper - she actually looked quite happy and unstressed..

FRED

Why don’t you go see her?

AGNES

I will.. next month..

FRED

I wonder how she’s doing with this virus - how can she shelter in place?

AGNES

I don’t know.. at least, you have a brother you don’t worry about..

FRED

He’s sheltering in place in an urn..

 16

AGNES

He died so suddenly..

FRED

He didn’t take care of himself - manager found him hard as a rock when he went to check..

AGNES

Too bad - I liked him..

FRED

I loved him! - he was a guy would help a struggling bug out of water with his comb - give a
bug the shirt off his back!

AGNES

(Pauses)

And how does a bug button a shirt?

FRED

Let’s not get literal..

AGNES

It’s your metaphor..

FRED

You read way too much - can’t you just talk English?

(A pause)

AGNES

Your birthday’s coming up - how old are you? - I’m never sure - you’ve hidden your age since
the day we first met..

FRED

Because I’m older than you, didn’t want to scare you off..

(Pauses)

.. sixty-four..

AGNES

Oh, so you’ll be sixty-five..

FRED

Just a number to me - doesn’t mean anything - I’m lucky I can still get up a ladder..

AGNES

The ladder of life..

FRED

Is that your metaphor? - got you! - a case of the cows coming home to roost..

AGNES

That’s chickens..

FRED

You get the idea..

 17

(A pause)

AGNES

And I have another idea..

(Looks at Fred with some desire)

You want to, Fred, maybe..

FRED

Bury the cat? - no, no, but I’ll do it, anyway, later..

AGNES

Then bury it deeper..

FRED

I’ll dig a hole to China..

AGNES

Fred, that’s racist..

FRED

It’s just an expression, Agnes! - if we have to be politically correct, how can we communicate?
- I’m going back out to the Mercedes..

(FRED EXITS - Offstage we head the SOUNDS of

jazz and the Mercedes diesel starting up -
pocketa-pocketa - we hear Fred shouting)

FRED (Offstage)

I’m leading the pack at Le Mans in my Mercedes, diving into the S-curve and back out - there’s
Fadango in the Ferrari! - I engage the turbo and sail past him on the Mulsannes straight -
suddenly Stirling Moss is going wheel to wheel with me down the straight! - we dive into a
curve and back out - but I’m tired after twenty-three hours, and hand the wheel to my partner -
Agnes, take the wheel! - Agnes? - Agnes! - too late, we’re out of control - we’re off the track!

(Fred mimics SOUNDS of a car crash - SOUNDS

of jazz and the diesel stop)

Fandango in the Ferrari flashes triumphantly past me! - and once again, I have lost at Le Mans..

(FRED ENTERS)

FRED

You didn’t take the wheel, Agnes..

AGNES

I wasn’t there..

FRED

You’re never there..

AGNES

I am here..

FRED

(Going to the bottle)

Want another glass of wine?

(Fills his glass)

 18

AGNES

No, I still have some..

FRED

(Toasting her)

To a poodybutt..

AGNES

(Toasting him)

To a barely functioning alcoholic..

FRED

I’m a social drinker..

AGNES

Oh? - who do you drink with - Mister Mercedes?

(A pause)

FRED

I should have stayed with Donna..

AGNES

What? - what did you say?

FRED

Nobody - nothing..

AGNES

Donna - who’s Donna?

FRED

(Pauses)

Someone I knew before, a long time ago - we had.. chemistry..

AGNES

A chemistry experiment? - go find her, then - turn up the burner - it’s not too late!

FRED

It is too late - I’m stuck married to you..

AGNES

Now, we’re getting to the heart of the matter!

FRED

The matter is us - we don’t belong together - we’ve grown apart..

AGNES

(Pauses)

What would you do without me?

FRED

Live alone - look busy - restore my Mercedes - get a cat!

 19

AGNES

What about the dog?

FRED

You can keep him..

AGNES

He’s your dog - just don’t let him near the cat..

FRED

I’ll be living in an apartment - can’t take the dog - you get the house..

AGNES

I don’t want the house - too many memories..

FRED

Where will you go?

AGNES

Abroad - cash in my retirement and travel..

FRED

.. alone..

AGNES

Maybe that’s okay - London, Paris, Rome! - never know who I might meet! - maybe Donna..

FRED

Unlikely - she’s dead..

AGNES

(Pauses)

I’m sorry, Fred..

FRED

She’s dead to me - gone a long time..

AGNES

Oh, you don’t know what you’re talking about! - why don’t you take that bottle of wine out to
your Mercedes and fantasize!

(Fred pauses, looks at her)

FRED

Maybe I’ll fantasize about Donna..

(Getting up)

I’m going..

AGNES

(Hopefully)

.. shopping?

FRED

.. maybe going to drive to New York and check out the jazz clubs - goodbye, Alice..

 20

(FRED EXITS - the SOUNDS of the glow plugs

buzzing, the jazz, the pocketa-pocketa of the
diesel starting up - Agnes picks up her book, starts
reading - a pause - SOUND of the Mercedes
backing out the driveway - pocketa-pocketa,

then silence - Agnes puts down her book, looks at

the open door - a pause - SOUND of the Mercedes
pulling back in the driveway - pocketa-pocketa -

SOUNDS of the diesel and jazz stops - FRED

ENTERS, sits down, a pause)

FRED

I’m a failure, Agnes..

AGNES

Why?

FRED

I wanted to be somebody - and now it’s too late..

AGNES

To be somebody - I’ve heard that before - who did you want to be?

FRED

Somebody, you know, of import - someone who made a difference, was known, appreciated..

AGNES

I appreciate you, Fred..

FRED

(Pauses)

That’s not what I mean..

AGNES

What then?

FRED

(Pauses)

We get a chance to make something of our life - and I.. didn’t make it.. what about you?

AGNES

(Pauses)

You know I wanted children..

FRED

Let’s not talk about that..

AGNES

You said you wanted to talk..

FRED

Okay, talk - it wasn’t your fault - it was a medical condition..

 21

AGNES

(Pauses)

Still.. I didn’t fulfill my function to raise a family and propagate the race..

FRED

So, you’re a failure, too..

AGNES

Maybe I am..

FRED

I don’t think so..

(A pause)

AGNES

Why don’t we go somewhere tonight..

FRED

Where? - everything’s closed..

AGNES

Then we’ll have to stay here - again..

FRED

Wait a minute..

(Goes to door)

AGNES

Are you going out to that stupid Mercedes, again?

(FRED EXITS, saying nothing - a pause, we hear

the SOUNDS of the buzzing glow plugs, the diesel
starting up - pocketa-pocketa - and then the jazz
music turned way up as a slow ballad plays -
ENTER FRED)

FRED

(Offering his hand to Agnes)

Madam.. may I have this dance?

AGNES

(Pausing, then taking his hand)

Of course, you may, sir..

(They slow dance - pause, look at each other)

FRED

Want me to sell the Mercedes?

AGNES

Want me to get rid of my books?

(They pause, then keep on dancing to SOUNDS of

pocketa-pocketa and a slow ballad - LIGHTS DIM)

CURTAIN