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MODULE -1 Writing process & workplace communication---

LETS SEE
TOPICS OF MODULE 1
1. Writing process: Pre-writing, writing & post writing
2. 7Cs of Writing
3. Selection of words
4. Developing effective sentences
5. Letters
6. Notice
7. Memo
8. Circular
9. Agenda
10.Minutes of meeting

1) AKANSHA KUMARI
Communication skills consistently rank near the top of competencies sought
by recruiters. Because more and more messages are being sent, writing skills
are particularly important to succeed in first jobs and to be promoted into
management
Advancements in technology mean that writing skills are increasingly
important because more messages are being exchange
Businesses don’t want spellbinding storytellers; they want people who can
write clearly and concisely.
What are activities needed to do before planning any writing

1. Planning
2. Gathering
3. Writing
4. Evaluating
5. Getting feedback
6. Revising
7. Editing
8. Proofreading
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Surveys of employers often show that communication skills are critical to

effective job placement, performance, career advancement, and
organizational success

In making hiring decisions, employers often rank communication skills

among the most requested competencies.
Many job advertisements specifically ask for excellent oral and written
communication skills.
In a poll of recruiters, oral and written communication skills were by a large
margin the top skill set sought in applicants
Another survey of managers and executives ranked the skills most lacking
in job candidates, and writing skills topped that list.
Writing Skills and Professionalism Lead to Success

3)Writing skills are particularly important today because technological

advances enable us to transmit messages :
more rapidly,
more often
to greater numbers of people than ever before.
Writing skills, which were always a career advantage, are now a necessity

4)They can be your ticket to work—or your ticket out the door, according to
a business executive responding to a recent survey.
Two thirds of salaried employees have some writing responsibility.
Yet, about one third of them do not meet the writing requirements for their
positions

5)“Businesses are crying out—they need to have people who write better,”
said Gaston Caper ton, executive and College Board president.
The ability to write opens doors to professional employment.

People who cannot write and communicate clearly will not be hired.
If already working, they are unlikely to last long enough to be considered for
promotion.
Writing is a marker of high-skill, high-wage, professional work, according to
Bob Kerrey, president of New School University in New York and chair of the
National Commission on Writing.
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If you can’t express yourself clearly, he says, you limit your opportunities
for salaried positions

6) But writing skills are also important for no salaried workers such as
electricians, engineers, technicians, and supervisors, who must create reports
for government agencies and regulatory bodies.
Even hourly workers must be able to communicate to exchange messages.
Lamenting the sorry state of business writing skills, a front-page article in The
New York Times announced, “What Corporate America Can’t Build: A
Sentence.”
Quoted in the article, Susan Trainman, a director of the Business Roundtable,
an association of leading chief executives, said,
“It’s not that companies want to hire Tolstoy.”
They aren’t seeking spellbinding authors; they just want people who can write
clearly and concisely. Because so many lack these skills, businesses are
spending as much as $3.1 billion annually on remedial training.
In addition to expecting employees to write clearly, businesses expect
employees to act in a businesslike and professional manner on the job.

2) AYAN BARAT
College writing and business writing is different in following ways:

Style
Content
Punch
More crisp
Precise
Adapting to audience
No smilies
Not acceptable email ids- loveall@gmail.com

Example

If you are writing reports for – of same event

vice president ;
immediate manager ;
manager of a diff dept. ( e.g. Finance Mgr.)
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Will it be different or same?

Example

If you are writing different reports meant for – vice president ; immediate
manager ; manager of a diff dept. ( e.g. Finance Mgr.)
Each will have different requirement.
VICE PRESIDENT- will need broad picture
Immediate Manager- more details
Finance Manager- finance-related information

You may not have time to write 3 reports.

You will have to develop 1 report to meet the expectations of your varied
audience.

3 important point to consider for writing for business communication

Choice of proper words ( pertinent point /relevant point – in a sentence)
Formation of correct sentences
Construction of good paragraphs

Other points to remember:

Free from grammatical errors
Free from biases of gender, race, etc.

P.SHRAVAN KUMAR
1st point -

Need to design the message as per the audience

CASE -1
Rohan joined his first job. He was a management Trainee. His boss was Niraj.
One morning Niraj, found that all other colleagues would be late as they gone
to conduct campus interviews. He called Rohan in his cabin.
Niraj asked ,”Do u know how to write a report? I have to report some
important survey results to the board of directors immediately.”
Rohan said,” I have never written a formal report , but I can try.”
Niraj gave him 20 page of data and information.
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Rohan worked hard for 3 hrs, correcting, editing, designing the report for
about an hour, and finally handed it to Niraj.

After going through the report , Niraj patted and said, “Good job done as
beginner, but the report is lengthy. Remember when you are sending report to
management ,include only a summary of the data .Try and avoid details
,unless they have sought, and present your information with graphs and
charts , so that it is easy for the members of the senior management to
understand.”
Rohan leant the first lesson of good business writing.”

A manager asked 2 of his subordinates to prepare a report on – “Training

programs that had been conducted during the year”

Need of the report –

Present quarterly data to the higher management
Had to be sent to all the departments concerned with training the company’s
manpower
2 reports were made and submitted

REPORT - 1
The year 2007 saw 600 training programs being conducted ,with focus on
technical and behavioral subjects. All employees across geographies were
covered. The programmes were mostly led by instructors. This ensured good
response from the employees ; the feedback received had been very good. Of
the 600 programmes, 315 were technical and the rest focused on behavioral
aspects. We have, thus , successfully covered all employees.
REPORT -2
In 2007 , our dept. conducted 600 training programmes, which was 25 % more
than last year. More than 1025 employees were covered ; we cut across
geographies to do this. In Europe and North America, we have had 98
programmes ; this had been our area of concern last year. The programmes
dealt with 2 aspects: technical and behavioral. 315 programmes were
conducted for the former and 285 for the latter. The response has been
positive and the average feedback on the training programmes was over 4 on
a scale of 5.
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Both reports are submitted to you, which one will you choose to send to –

a) Higher Management
b) To the departments concerning with training programs

Why?
Whether you are preparing an e-mail message, memo, letter, or oral
presentation, the process will be easier if you systematic plan.

ANKIT RAJ

Our plan breaks the entire task into three separate phases:
prewriting, writing, and revising

As you can see in the following slide, however, the process is not always linear
It does not always proceed from Step 1 to Step 2; often the writer must circle
back and repeat u follow an earlier step

To illustrate the writing process, let’s say that you own a popular local
McDonald’s franchise.
At rush times, you face a problem.
Customers complain about the chaotic multiple waiting lines to approach the
service counter. You once saw two customers nearly get into a fistfight over
cutting into a line.
What’s more, customers often are so intent on looking for ways to improve
their positions in line that they fail to examine the menu.
Then they are undecided when their turn arrives.
You want to convince other franchise owners that a single-line (serpentine)
system would work better.
You could telephone the other owners.
But you want to present a serious argument with good points that they will
remember and be willing to act on when they gather for their next district
meeting.
You decide to write a letter that you hope will win their support.
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1.PREWRITING

The first phase of the writing process involves analyzing and anticipating the
audience and then adapting to that audience
The first phase of the writing process prepares you to write.
It involves analyzing the audience and your purpose for writing.
The audience- some highly educated and others not
Purpose in writing is to convince them that a change in policy would improve
customer service.
You are convinced that a single-line system, such as that used in banks, would
reduce chaos and make customers happier because they would not have to
worry about where they are in line.
Prewriting also involves anticipating how your audience will react to your
message.
You’re sure that some of the other owners will agree with you, but others
might fear that customers seeing a long single line might go elsewhere.
In adapting your message to the audience, you try to think of the right words
and the right tone that will win approval.

APURBA SHANKAR
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2. WRITING

The second phase of the writing process includes :

researching,
organizing the message,
actually writing it

In researching information for this letter, you would probably investigate

other kinds of businesses that use single lines for customers.
You might check out your competitors.
What are Wendy’s and Burger King doing?
You might do some calling to see whether other franchise owners are
concerned about chaotic lines.
Before writing to the entire group, you might brainstorm with a few owners
to see what ideas they have for solving the problem.
Once you have collected enough information, you would focus on organizing
your letter.

Should you start out by offering your solution?

Or should you: work up to it slowly,

describing the problem,

presenting your evidence
then ending with the solution

The final step in the second phase of the writing process is actually
composing the letter

3. REVISING

The third phase of the writing process includes revising for:

clarity and readability
proofreading for errors
evaluating for effectiveness

After writing the first draft, you’ll spend a lot of time revising the message
for :
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clarity,
conciseness,
tone,
readability

Could parts of it be rearranged to make your point more effectively?

This is the time when you look for ways to improve the organization and
sound of your message.

Next, you’ll spend time proofreading carefully to ensure correct spelling,

grammar, punctuation, and format.

The final phase involves evaluating your message to decide whether it

accomplishes your goal.
Because revising is the most important part of the writing process, it takes
the most time.

AYUSH KUMAR SINGH

Scheduling the Writing Process

Although DIAGRAM ( slide 24) shows the three phases of the writing process
equally, the time you spend on each varies depending on the:
complexity of the problem,
the purpose,
the audience,
your schedule.
One expert gives these rough estimates for scheduling a project:
Prewriting—25 percent (planning and worrying)
Writing—25 percent (organizing and composing)
Revising—50 percent (45 percent revising and 5 percent proofreading)

How to start?
Choosing the right words
Forming better sentences
Writing better paragraphs
Putting the style together
Checking the grammar
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IMPORTANCE OF WRITING
A study conducted by McKinsey Global Institute and International Data
Corporation reveals that employees spend close to 30% of their time on
emails.
Beyond that, meetings, conference calls, presentations, report writing and
several other activities at the workplace involve communicating with peers,
superiors and other colleagues.
To ensure that you communicate in the most efficient and engaging manner
possible and thereby enhance your productivity at work, your
communication needs to follow the 7Cs:
Clear, Correct, Complete, Concise, Concrete, Coherent, Courteous.

7 C’s of Communication is a checklist that helps to improve the professional

communication skills and increases the chance that the message will be
understood in exactly the same way as it was intended.

7 c’s
Clear
Correct
Complete
Concise
Concrete
Coherent
Courteous

1) Clear:
Any message needs to come out clearly from your communication rather than
the recipient having to assume things and coming back to you for more
information.
This will only lead to more time being wasted on emails.
Do not try to communicate too many things in one message.
This will dilute the attention of the reader.
Bad example:
Dear James,
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I would like to talk to you about the new client’s project which the engineering
team had discussed yesterday. I might need the help of John from your team.
Regards,
Kevin
What’s wrong here:
James might not know who the new client is or what the project is about
He probably was not part of the meeting with the engineering team.
Might be more than one John in James’ big team.
Kevin also mentions that he wants to talk. However, he hasn’t mentioned
what time he would like to talk, neither has he asked James if he would be
free at any of the time slots available
Here’s how this email could be made clearer:

Dear James,
As you may know we have signed up XYZ as our new client. I had a meeting
with the engineering team yesterday and had discussed the campaign
requirements for this project. John from your team had done a pretty good
job last time doing the social media campaign for ABC and so I would like
him to work on the XYZ campaign too.
Would you be available sometime tomorrow to discuss this further?
Regards,
Kevin

AAYUSHEE KUMARI

2) Correct:
When too many emails are being written in a day, people tend to type fast and
therefore might make spelling mistakes.
Spell check will not be able to catch it if the wrongly spelt word is in fact
another word in the English language.
Ensure that you address people the right way and spell their names correctly.
Ensure that the reader has sufficient knowledge and education to understand
the technical terms that you use in your communication.

2) Correct:
Bad example
Dear Dev,
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Further to our conservation today, I am attaching the plan for the first stage of
the project. Hope the one weak deadline is okay with you and your team.
Regards
Sagar

What’s wrong here:

two spelling errors in this e-mail.

‘Conversation’ was spelt ‘conservation’ and ‘week’ was spelt ‘weak’.
Errors impact the credibility of your professionalism and the brand image of
the organization you represent.
check all your spellings and prefixes before you send an email, especially if you
are sending it to a client or a vendor outside of your company.

3) Complete:

A complete message will have all the information the reader needs to know to
be able to respond or take action.
If you require the reader to take some kind of action, ensure that you have a
‘call-to-action’ in your email and also communicate the urgency of the task in
question.
Incomplete messages lead to iterations, a lot of back-and-forth, and waste of
time and effort on both ends. Here is an example of an incomplete message.

Bad example:

Hi all,
Let us meet tomorrow to discuss the product launch event. Please be there on
time.
Thanks
Chris

What’s wrong here

There is no mention of the:
time of the meeting scheduled for,
the location,
any set agenda.
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The recipients of the email would have to write back or call back to Chris to
clarify.
The best way to have written this email is:

Hi all,
Let us meet tomorrow at 11am at Conference room 3 to discuss the product
launch event.
We will have to decide the keynote speakers and complete the event invite
draft tomorrow. Please be there on time.
Thanks
Chris

AASTHA PRIYA
4) Concise:
People more often than not tend to write 4 sentences in a place where they
could have finished the message in 2 sentences.
This wastes the time of the sender and the receiver and in turn limits their
productivity too.
Do not add fillers such as ‘I mean’, ‘sort of’, ‘for instance’, ‘basically’, etc.
Your message needs to be accurate, to the point and crisp.
Bad example
Hi Suzanne
I think we need to talk about the CSR campaign, I mean the one which we
need to do as a quarterly exercise. I think it is a great way of enhancing our
brand image. Basically, it would just be a visit to an orphanage but we can
sort of do other things too. For instance, we could take the kids out for a
short trip to a nearby park or zoo. Let us sit and talk tomorrow.
Regards
Jennifer

What’s wrong
The mail is full of fillers and extended phrases wherein she could have finished
the email in just two sentences, such as the one below.
Good example:
Hi Suzanne
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I need to discuss the quarterly CSR campaign with you. Let us take the kids
out this time to a nearby park or zoo instead of just visiting them. This will
help enhance our brand image. We’ll talk in detail tomorrow.
Regards
Jennifer

5) Concrete:
You need to believe in you what you want to convey to the audience.
Concreteness is needed especially during marketing or advertising
campaigns.
There need to be details that capture the attention of the audience, not bore
them
Bad example:

“Hilltop Resort is the best resort. Do come to us on your next holiday”

What’s wrong in this statement?

This is a vague ad message.

sounds like just another resort advertisement among a hundred others.
Audience will never remember this ad message.
No concrete details to take away from this message.

Good example:
“Hilltop Resort is the jewel of the western hills. Take a break from your work.
Escape from life’s chaos and stress. Relax and rejuvenate yourself at Hilltop.
Go back fresh and energized!”

Why is it a good example:

This message gives you visualizing details.
The reader can actually imagine being in a beautiful resort breathing fresh air
and swimming in a pool instead of being busy at his or her office.
That is a concrete message conveyed to the audience.
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6) Coherent:

Your message needs to have a logical flow.

All sentences in your email or report should be connected to the previous
one and stick to the main topic.
Without coherence, the reader will easily lose track of what you have
conveyed.

Bad example:

Dear Nam,
Thanks for submitting the industry report. Finn will give you some feedback
on it. Finn also wanted to find out if you will be available for the client meeting
tomorrow. We will be discussing the budget for the next phase of the project.
Regards
Shirley

What’s wrong?
The email was supposed to be about the industry report which was submitted
and the feedback for it.
The question about the meeting had come out of nowhere and will now
distract Nam and her priorities.
Good example:
Dear Nam,
Thanks for submitting the industry report. Finn will give you some feedback
on it. You will be receiving an email from him with detailed comments.
Regards
Shirley

This email talks only about the report.

Therefore, Nam knows that her report has been viewed and she needs to wait
for feedback.
There are no other distractions.
The query about the meeting must have been an entirely different email.

DEEPAK KUMAR
( 9111)
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7) Courteous:

Being courteous is of importance in a corporate setting.

Individuals who work together are not necessarily friends and therefore, to
maintain a healthy working relationship, being courteous is a necessity.
Hidden insults and aggressive tones will only cause trouble among individuals
and result in reduced morale and productivity
Bad example:
Hi Drew,
I really do not appreciate how your IT team ignores the requests of my team
alone. My team is an important function in this organization too and we have
our own IT requirement. Can you ensure that your team responds promptly to
my team’s requests hereon?
Regards
Stanley

This email is arrogant, judgmental and disrespectful.

Drew might now order his team to not respond to your team’s requirements
entirely.
Good example:
Hi Drew,
I understand that the IT team is swamped with work and gets requests from
every department in the organization. My team however is working on a high-
priority project and I would greatly appreciate if you could ask your team
members to respond to my team’s queries promptly and help us complete this
project on time. Please do let me know if you need anything from me.
Regards
Stanley
Result of being courteous
As a result of the polite request, it is likely that Drew will feel appreciated and
important and he will definitely ask his team to help your team out.
Work gets done and everybody is happy too.

To sum up
working with other individuals, be it within your team or other teams in the
organization is the norm in today’s corporate setting.
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Therefore, communication becomes a critical skill.

When you communicate well:
you become more efficient,
you tend to command respect among your peers and you maintain a healthy
relationship with your colleagues.
Keep in mind the 7 Cs of effective communication and accelerate your career
growth.
7 c’s
Clear
Correct
Complete
Concise
Concrete
Coherent
Courteous

The primary purpose of most business messages is to inform or to persuade;

the secondary purpose is to promote goodwill

“Excellent communicators, focus on the audience for their messages”

Analyzing the purpose and the audience

Identifying Your -ask yourself two important questions:
(1) Why am I sending this message?
(2) What do I hope to achieve?
Your responses will determine how you organize and present your
information.
Your message may have primary and secondary purposes.
For college work your primary purpose may be merely to complete the
assignment; secondary purposes might be to make yourself look good and to
get a good grade.
The primary purposes for sending business messages are typically to inform
and to persuade.
A secondary purpose is to promote goodwill: you and your organization want
to look good in the eyes of your audience.
Analyzing the purpose and the audience
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Satyam

Selecting the Best Channel

After identifying the purpose of your message, select the most appropriate
communication channel.
Some information is most efficiently and effectively delivered orally.
Other messages should be written, and still others are best delivered
electronically.
Whether to set up a meeting, send a message by e-mail, or write a report
depends on some of the following factors:

• Importance of the message

• Amount and speed of feedback and interactivity required

CHANNEL & BEST USE

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Aarohi
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Anticipating Audience
A good writer anticipates the audience for a message:

E.g.- One copywriter at Lands’ End, the catalog company, pictures his sister-
in-law whenever he writes product descriptions for the catalog.
By profiling your audience and shaping a message to respond to that profile,
you are more likely to achieve your communication goals.
Profiling the Audience Visualizing your audience is a pivotal step in the writing
process.
The following questions will help you profile your audience.

PROFILING THE AUDIENCE

Primary Audience
Who is my primary reader or listener?
What are my personal and professional relationships with that person?
What position does the individual hold in the organization?
How much does that person know about the subject?
What do I know about that person’s education, beliefs, culture, and attitudes?
Should I expect a neutral, positive, or negative response to my message?
PROFILING THE AUDIENCE

Secondary Audience
Who might see or hear this message in addition to the primary audience?
How do these people differ from the primary audience?
Do I need to include more background information?
How must I reshape my message to make it understandable and acceptable
to others to whom it might be forwarded?

Anticipating Audience
A good writer anticipates the audience for a message:

How much time you devote to answering these questions depends greatly on
your message and its context.
An analytical report that you compose for management or an oral
presentation before a big group would, of course, demand considerable
audience anticipation.
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On the other hand, an e-mail message to a coworker or a letter to a familiar

supplier might require only a few moments of planning.
No matter how short your message, though, spend some time thinking about
the audience so that you can tailor your words to your readers or listeners.
Remember that most readers or listeners will be thinking, What’s in it for me?
Or
What am I supposed to do with this information?
Anticipating Audience
A good writer anticipates the audience for a message:

Responding to the Profile

Profiling your audience helps you make decisions about shaping the
message.
You’ll discover what kind of language is appropriate :
whether to use specialized/technical terms,
whether you should explain everything, and so on.
You’ll decide whether your tone should be formal or informal,
You’ll select the most desirable channel.

Aditya Aman

Anticipating Audience
A good writer anticipates the audience for a message:

Imagining whether the receiver is likely to be neutral, positive, or negative will

help you determine how to organize your message.
Another advantage of profiling your audience is considering the possibility of
a secondary audience.
For example, let’s say you start to write an e-mail message to your supervisor,
Sheila, describing a problem you’re having. Halfway through the message you
realize that Sheila will probably forward this message to her boss, the vice
president.
Sheila will not want to summarize what you said; instead she will take the
easy route and merely forward your e-mail. When you realize that the vice
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president will probably see this message, you decide to back up and use a
more formal tone.
You remove your inquiry about Sheila’s family, you reduce your complaints,
and you tone down your language about why things went wrong.
Instead, you provide more background information, and you are more specific
in identifying items that the vice president might not recognize.
Analyzing the task and anticipating the audience help you adapt your
message so that you can create an efficient and effective message.

Anticipating Audience
RESPONDING TO THE PROFILE

What is the reader like?

How will that reader react to the message?
Although you can’t always know exactly who the reader is, you can imagine
some of the reader’s characteristics.

Adapting to Task & Audience

1. Use the active voice with strong verbs.
2. Don’t be afraid of personal pronouns (e.g., I, we, and you).
3. Bring abstractions down to earth (instead of asset, write one share of
IBM common stock).
4. Omit superfluous words (instead of in the event that, write if).
5. Use positive expression (instead of it is not unlike, write it is similar).
6. Prefer short sentences
7. Remove jargon
8. Keep the subject, verb, and object close together.

Prajwal
Although you yourself may not use some of the words in the following list of
unfamiliar words, you may see them in business documents.
Remember that the simple alternatives shown here will make messages more
readable for most people.
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Aviraj
Writing Effective Sentences
After deciding how to organize your message, you are ready to begin
composing it.
As you create your first draft, you’ll be working at the sentence level of
composition.
Although you’ve used sentences all your life, you may be unaware of how they
can be shaped and arranged to express your ideas most effectively.
Writing Effective Sentences

Complete sentences have subjects and verbs and make sense.

SUBJECT VERB SUBJECT VERB
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“Employees expect vacations. Our company has a paid time-off plan.”

Clauses and phrases, the key building blocks of sentences, are related groups
of words. Clauses have subjects and verbs; phrases do not.
PHRASE PHRASE
The CEO of our company sent an e-mail to all staff members.
Writing Effective Sentences

CLAUSE CLAUSE
When companies use a paid time-off plan, they have a stable workforce.

Clauses may be divided into two groups: independent and dependent.

Independent clauses are grammatically complete.
Dependent clauses depend for their meaning on independent clauses.
In the two preceding examples, the clauses beginning with Because and
When are dependent.
Dependent clauses are often introduced by words such as if, when, because,
and as.

INDEPENDENT CLAUSE --They have a stable workforce.

DEPENDENT CLAUSE INDEPENDENT CLAUSE

When companies use a paid time-off plan, they have a stable workforce

By learning to distinguish phrases, independent clauses, and dependent

clauses, you’ll be able to punctuate sentences correctly and avoid three
basic sentence faults: the fragment, the run-on sentence, and the comma
splice.

Fragments are broken-off parts of sentences and should not be punctuated as

sentences.

When two independent clauses are run together without punctuation or a

coordinating conjunction, a run-on

Avoiding Sentence Fragments

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One of the most serious errors a writer can make is punctuating a fragment as
if it were a complete sentence.
A fragment is a broken-off part of a sentence.
Fragment --Because most transactions require a permanent record. Good
writing skills are critical.
Revision ----Because most transactions require a permanent record, good
writing skills are critical.
Fragment ---The recruiter requested a writing sample. Even though the
candidate seemed to communicate well.
Revision ---The recruiter requested a writing sample, even though the
candidate seemed to communicate well.
Fragments often can be identified by the words that introduce them—words
such as although, as, because, even, except, for example, if, instead of,
since, such as, that, which, and when.
These words introduce dependent clauses. Make sure such clauses always
connect to independent clauses.

Avoiding Run-On (Fused) Sentences

A sentence with two independent clauses must be joined by a coordinating

conjunction (and, or, nor, but) or by a semicolon (;).
Without a conjunction or a semicolon, a run-on sentence results.
Run-on Most job seekers present a printed résumé some are also using Web
sites as electronic portfolios.
Revision 1 Most job seekers present a printed résumé, but some are also using
Web sites as electronic portfolios.
Revision 2 Most job seekers present a printed résumé; some are also using
Web sites as electronic portfolios

Avoiding Comma-Splice Sentences

A comma splice results when a writer joins (splices together) two independent
clauses with a comma. Independent clauses may be joined with a coordinating
conjunction (and, or, nor, but) or a conjunctive adverb (however,
consequently, therefore, and others).
Notice that clauses joined by coordinating conjunctions require only a
comma. Clauses joined by a coordinating adverb require a semicolon.
Here are three ways to rectify a comma splice:
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Comma splice -Some employees responded by e-mail, others picked up the

telephone.
Revision 1 Some employees responded by e-mail, and others picked up the
telephone.
Revision 2 Some employees responded by e-mail; however, others picked up
the telephone.
Revision 3 Some employees responded by e-mail; others picked up the
telephone

Bazila
Controlling Sentence Length
Because your goal is to communicate clearly, you’re better off limiting your
sentences to about 20 or fewer words.

The American Press Institute reports that reader comprehension drops off
markedly as sentences become longer.2
Thus, in crafting your sentences, think about the relationship between
sentence length and comprehension:
Sentence Length Comprehension Rate
8 words 100%
15 words 90%
19 words 80%
28words 50%
Instead of stringing together clauses with and, but, and however, break some
of those complex sentences into separate segments. Business readers want
to grasp ideas immediately.

They can do that best when thoughts are separated into short sentences. On
the other hand, too many monotonous short sentences will sound “grammar
schoolish” and may bore or even annoy the reader.

Strive for a balance between longer sentences and shorter ones

Paragraph coherence
A paragraph is a group of sentences with a controlling idea, usually stated
first.
Paragraphs package similar ideas into meaningful groups for readers.
28

Effective paragraphs are coherent; that is, they hold together.

But coherence does not happen accidentally.
It is achieved through effective organization and
(1) repetition of key ideas,
(2) use of pronouns, and
(3) use of transitional expressions.
Paragraph coherence
Repetition of key ideas or key words
Repeating a word or key thought from a preceding sentence helps guide a
reader from one thought to the next.
This redundancy is necessary to build cohesiveness into writing.
Effective repetition
Our philosophy holds that every customer is really a guest.
All new employees to our theme parks are trained to treat visitors as special
guests.
These guests are never told what they can or cannot do.
Notice that the repetition of the word guest creates coherence between
sentences.

Paragraph coherence
Good writers find similar words to describe the same idea, thus using
repetition to clarify a topic for the reader.
Use of pronouns
Pronouns such as this, that, they, these, and those promote coherence by
connecting the thoughts in one sentence to the thoughts in a previous
sentence.
To make sure that the pronoun reference is clear, consider joining the pronoun
with the word to which it refers, thus making the pronoun into an adjective.
Pronoun repetition
All new park employees receive a two-week orientation.
They learn that every staffer has a vital role in preparing for the show.
This training includes how to maintain enthusiasm.

Paragraph coherence
Be very careful, though, in using pronouns.
A pronoun without a clear antecedent can be most annoying.
In the last example notice how confusing this becomes if the word training is
omitted.
29

Faulty -When company profits increased, employees were given either a cash
payment or company stock. This became a real incentive to employees.
Revision -When company profits increased, employees were given either a
cash payment or company stock. This profit-sharing plan became a real
incentive to employees.
Paragraph coherence

Use of transitional expressions.

One of the most effective ways to achieve paragraph coherence is through the
use of transitional expressions.
These expressions act as road signs: they indicate where the message is
headed, and they help the reader anticipate what is coming.
Here are some of the most effective transitional expressions. T
They are grouped according to uses.

Use of transitional expressions

Akash
30

Self- reading
understanding THE PROCESS OF REVISION:

To be successful in the business world, you must be able to turn out business
messages and presentations that are concise, clear, and vigorous.
In this section, you’ll concentrate on techniques to achieve those qualities.
These techniques are part of the third phase of the writing process, which centers
on revising and proofreading.
Revising means improving the content and sentence structure of your message.
It may include adding, cutting, and recasting what you’ve written.

Proofreading involves correcting the grammar, spelling, punctuation, format,

and mechanics of your messages.
Both revising and proofreading require a little practice to develop your skills.
That’s what you will be learning in this chapter.
Take a look at Figure 4.1. Notice how the revised version of this memo is clearer,
more concise, and more vigorous because we removed much deadwood. Major
ideas stand out when they are not lost in a forest of words. Rarely is the first or
even the second version of a message satisfactory. Experts say that only
amateurs expect writing perfection on the first try. The revision stage is your
chance to make sure your message is clear, forceful, and says what you mean.
This is “where your message gets hammered out, where the real work takes
place” as you struggle to clarify your thoughts.

No
NorthStar Telecommunication Services Interoffice Memo
DATE: November 12, 200x
TO: Rodney Hawkins
FROM: Sierra McKinney
SUBJECT: Investigation of Web Sites of Some of Our Competitors
31

This is just a short note to inform you that, as you requested, I have made an
investigation of
several of our competitors’ Web sites. Attached hereto is a summary of my
findings
of my investigation. I was really most interested in making a comparison of the
employment of
strategies for marketing as well as the use of navigational graphics used to
guide visitors
through the sites. In view of the fact that we will be revising our own Web site
in the near future,
I was extremely intrigued by the organization, kind of marketing tactics, and
navigation at
each and every site I visited.
In the event that you would like to discuss this information with me, feel free
to call me at
Extension 219.

BEFORE REVISION
32

AFTER REVISION
Many professional writers compose the first draft quickly without worrying about
language, precision, or correctness. Then they revise and polish extensively.
Other writers, however, prefer to revise as they go—particularly for shorter
business documents. Whether you revise as you go or do it when you finish a
document, you’ll want to focus on concise wording. This includes eliminating
wordy prepositional phrases, long lead-ins, outdated expressions, needless
adverbs, fillers, and repetitious and redundant words. You will decide whether to
include jargon, slang, and clichés. You will also be looking for precise words that
say exactly what you mean.
33

Fuzail
CONCISE WORDING:
In business, time is indeed money.
Translated into writing, this means that concise messages save reading time and,
thus, money.
In addition, messages that are written directly and efficiently are easier to read
and comprehend.
In the revision process look for shorter ways to say what you mean.
Examine every sentence that you write.
Could the thought be conveyed in fewer words? Notice how the following flabby
expressions could be said more concisely.
Flabby Concise
at a later date later
at this point in time NOW
afford an opportunity Allow
are of the opinion that believe, think that
at the present time Now, presently
despite the fact that although
due to the fact that because

Wordy Prepositional Phrases

Some wordy prepositional phrases may be replaced by single adverbs.
For example, in the normal course of events becomes normally and as a general
rule becomes generally.
Wordy- Wal-Mart approached the union issue in a careful manner.
Concise Wal-Mart approached the union issue carefully.
Wordy Our office will in all probability be relocated.
Concise Our office will probably be relocated.
34

Wordy We have taken this action in very few cases.

Concise We have seldom taken this action

Riya
Long Lead-Ins
Delete unnecessary introductory words.
The meat of the sentence often follows the words that or because:
Wordy This e-mail message is being sent to all of you to let you know that
new parking permits will be issued January 1.
Concise New parking permits will be issued January 1
Wordy You will be interested to learn that you can now be served at our Web site.

Concise You can now be served at our Web site.

Palak
Outdated Expressions
The world of business has changed greatly in the past century or two.
Yet, some business writers continue to use antiquated phrases and expressions
left over from the past.
They are trapped by the notion that these familiar phrases are necessary to
sound “businesslike.”
Forget that idea!
Replace outdated expressions such as those shown here with more modern
phrasing:
Outdated Expressions Modern Phrasing
1. are in receipt of have received
2. as per your request at your request
3. attached hereto attached
4. enclosed please find enclosed is/are
35

5. pursuant to your request at your request

6. thanking you in advance thank you
7. I trust that I think, I believe
8. under separate cover separately

Deepak
Needless Adverbs
Eliminating adverbs such as very, definitely, quite, completely, extremely, really,
actually, somewhat, and rather streamlines your writing.
Omitting these intensifiers generally makes you sound more credible and
businesslike.
Writers who wish to sound sincere and conversational often include some
intensifiers, but they guard against excessive use.
Wordy We actually did not really give his proposal a very fair trial.
Concise We did not give his proposal a fair trial.

Anchal
Fillers
Avoid fillers that fatten sentences with excess words.
Beginning an idea with There is usually indicates that writers are spinning their
wheels until they decide where the sentence is going.
Used correctly, there indicates a specific place (I placed the box there).
Used as fillers, there and occasionally it merely take up space.
Most, but not all, sentences can be revised so that these fillers are unnecessary.
Wordy There is only one candidate who passed the writing test.
Concise Only one candidate passed the writing test.
36

Ansh vats
Repetitious Words
Good communicators vary their words to avoid unintentional repetition.
Not only does this shorten a message, but it also improves vigor and readability.
Variety of expression can be achieved by searching for appropriate synonyms and
by substituting pronouns.
Compare the following wordy paragraph with the more concise version.
Notice in the concise version that synonyms (representatives, members) replace
the overused employee.
Wordy Concise
Employees will be able to elect an Employees may vote for six
additional six employees to serve additional representatives to serve
with the four previously elected with the previously elected
utsav

Redundant Words
Repetition of words to achieve emphasis or effective transition is an important
writing technique discussed in the previous chapter.
The needless repetition, however, of words whose meanings are clearly implied
by other words is a writing fault called redundancy.
For example, in the expression final outcome, the word final is redundant and
should be omitted, since outcome implies finality.
Learn to avoid redundant expressions such as the following:
absolutely essential
37

adequate enough
basic fundamentals
combined together
Aarush
Jargon
Except in certain specialized contexts, you should avoid jargon and unnecessary
technical terms.
Jargon is special terminology that is peculiar to a particular activity or profession.

For example, geologists speak knowingly of exfoliation, calcareous ooze, and

siliceous particles.
Engineers are familiar with phrases such as infrared processing flags, output
latches, and movable symbology.
Telecommunication experts use such words and phrases as protocols,
clickstream, neural networks, and asynchronous transmission.
Every field has its own special vocabulary. Using that vocabulary within the field
is acceptable and even necessary for accurate, efficient communication.
Don’t use specialized terms, however, if you have reason to believe that your
reader may misunderstand them.
Rishav
Slang
Slang is composed of informal words with arbitrary and extravagantly changed
meanings.
Slang words quickly go out of fashion because they are no longer appealing when
everyone begins to understand them.
The meaning here, if the speaker really intended to impart any, is considerably
obscured by the use of slang. Good communicators, of course, aim at clarity and
avoid unintelligible slang.
38

If you want to sound professional, avoid expressions such as snarky, lousy,

blowing the budget, bombed, and getting burned.
Good communicators aim at clarity and avoid unintelligible slang.

Vedanta

Clichés
Clichés are expressions that have become exhausted by overuse. These
expressions lack not only freshness but also clarity. Some have no meaning for
people who are new to our culture. The following partial list contains clichés you
should avoid in business writing.
Clichés are dull and sometimes ambiguous.
Converting verbs into wordy noun expressions weakens business writing.
below the belt
better than new
beyond a shadow of a doubt
easier said than done
exception to the rule
last but not least
Precise Verbs
Effective writing creates meaningful images in the mind of the reader.
Such writing is sparked by robust, concrete, and descriptive words.
Ineffective writing is often dulled by insipid, abstract, and generalized words.
The most direct way to improve lifeless writing is through effective use of verbs.
39

Verbs not only indicate the action of the subject but also deliver the force of the
sentence. Select verbs carefully so that the reader can visualize precisely what is
happening.
General A representative will contact you next week.
Precise A representative will (telephone, fax, e-mail, visit) you next week.
General Our manager asked everyone to volunteer.
Precise Our manager (urged, begged, coaxed) everyone to volunteer
Gaurav
Concrete Nouns
Nouns name persons, places, and things.
Abstract nouns name concepts that are difficult to visualize, such as automation,
function, justice, institution, integrity, form, judgment, and environment.
Concrete nouns name objects that are more easily imagined, such as desk, car,
and laptop. Nouns describing a given object can range from the very abstract to
the very concrete—for example, object, motor vehicle, car, convertible, Mustang.
All of these words or phrases can be used to describe a Mustang convertible.
However, a reader would have difficulty envisioning a Mustang convertible when
given just the word object or even motor vehicle or car.
In business writing, help your reader “see” what you mean by using concrete
language.
General we received numerous inquiries
Concrete we received 78 inquiries
General that company’s new gadget
Concrete Sony Ericsson’s S710 camera that includes an MP3 player

Vivid Adjectives
40

Including highly descriptive, dynamic adjectives makes writing more vivid and
concrete. Be careful, though, neither to overuse them nor to lose objectivity in
selecting them.
General Amanda submitted her report on time.
Vivid Amanda submitted her detailed 12-page report on time.
General We must hire a good employee.
Vivid We must hire a productive, efficient employee.

Ankit Ranjan
PROOFREADING
Once you have the message in its final form, it’s time to proofread. Don’t
proofread earlier because you may waste time checking items that eventually are
changed or omitted.
What to Watch for in Proofreading?
Careful proofreaders check for problems in these areas:
• Spelling. Now’s the time to consult the dictionary.
Is recommend spelled with one or two c’s?
Do you mean affect or effect?
Use your computer spell checker, but don’t rely on it totally.
• Grammar. Locate sentence subjects; do their verbs agree with them?
Do pronouns agree with their antecedents?
Review the principles in the Grammar/ Mechanics Handbook if necessary.
Use your computer’s grammar checker, but don’t let it replace careful manual
proofreading.
• Punctuation. Make sure that introductory clauses are followed by commas.
41

In compound sentences put commas before coordinating conjunctions (and, or,

but, nor).
Double-check your use of semicolons and colons.
• Names and numbers. Compare all names and numbers with their sources
because inaccuracies are not immediately visible.
Especially verify the spelling of the names of individuals receiving the message.
Most of us are offended when someone misspells our name.
• Format. Be sure that letters, printed memos, and reports are balanced on the
page. Compare their parts and format with those of standard documents shown
in Appendix A. If you indent paragraphs, be certain that all are indented.
Roshan
How to Proofread Routine Documents
Most routine messages, including e-mails, require a light proofreading. Use the
down arrow to reveal one line at a time, thus focusing your attention at the
bottom of the screen. Read carefully for faults such as omitted or doubled words.
Be sure to use your spell checker.
For routine messages such as printed letters or memos, a safer proofreading
method is reading from a printed copy.
You’re more likely to find errors and to observe the tone.
“Things really look different on paper,” observed veteran writer Louise Lague at
People magazine.“
Don’t just pull a letter out of the printer and stick it in an envelope.
Read every sentence again. You’ll catch bad line endings, strange page breaks,
and weird spacing. You can also get a totally different feeling about what you’ve
said when you see it in print.
Sometimes you can say something with a smile on your face; but if you put the
same thing in print, it won’t work.”2 Use standard proofreading marks, shown in
Figure 4.2, to indicate changes.
42

How to Proofread Complex Documents Long, complex, or important documents

demand more careful proofreading using the following techniques:
• Print a copy, preferably double-spaced, and set it aside for at least a day. You’ll
be more alert after a breather.
• Allow adequate time to proofread carefully. A common excuse for sloppy
proofreading is lack of time.
• Be prepared to find errors. One student confessed, “I can find other people’s
errors, but I can’t seem to locate my own.” Psychologically, we don’t expect to
find errors, and we don’t want to find them. You can overcome this obstacle by
anticipating errors and congratulating, not criticizing, yourself each time you find
one.
• Read the message at least twice—once for word meanings and once for
grammar/ mechanics. For very long documents (book chapters and long articles
or reports), read a third time to verify consistency in formatting.
• Reduce your reading speed. Concentrate on individual words rather than ideas.
• For documents that must be perfect, have someone read the message aloud.
The reader should spell names and difficult words, note capitalization, and read
punctuation.
• Use standard proofreading marks, shown in Figure 4.2, to indicate changes.
43