Communication in Social Networks: Good Invention or End of Good

Communication
By Frances Marella O. Cristobal

“Constantly connected yet constantly distracted.” That’s definitely one of the most
remarkable lines that I’ve heard from Allison Graham on her discussion at TEDx Talks YouTube
video entitled, “How social media makes us unsocial”. Because of so much commitment on
social media, people nowadays tend to neglect the things that should be prioritized. Honestly, I
was a bit alarmed by that line ‘coz I know to myself that I am somewhat that kind of person (at
times) – instead of focusing on a certain task, here I am, going online, browsing my news feed,
chatting with my friends on Facebook, or even visiting the Instagram feed of some people. So I
was like, “what the heck am I doing?” I know this isn’t right. I know I should discipline myself.
This isn’t what it was supposed to be. I must be done now with this certain task only if I hadn’t
connected my phone on wifi. So what now? Here I am, cramming… again. (*face palm*) You
better stop the bad habit now, self.

By this time, let me just give my reaction on Ms. Graham’s lecture. But first, let me just
clarify something; this isn’t going to be about the lecture itself as a whole but rather about the
information given by the speaker about the issue. Allow me to support my arguments by citing
some quotations of various people as well. So here it goes – my learnings and opinion.

“Life, especially the teenage way of life has completely changed from what it was twenty
years ago.” -Marilyn Price-Mitchell, PhD. Yes, indeed. Honestly, people especially on the early
generation sometimes truly wish that the ‘modern tools’ we are using today like mobile phones,
laptops, tablets, iPhones, iPads, and others hadn’t been invented at all. Surely they’re great,
incredibly useful, and fun time-killers but the way people abuse them, and consider them as a
real necessity and vital part of living is frankly awful as hell.

You say, social networking is a worldwide connectivity. Yes it is, easier and faster way to
make connection with your friends, former classmate, first grade teacher, or even relatives
abroad. How? Of course there is the Facebook, Twitter, Line, LinkedIn and MySpace; the most
well known social networking communities. But before you invest too heavily in online social
communities, be sure to do your due diligence so you are aware of the risk versus the reward. Do
you even came to think of whether those sites are safe? Can it really increase one’s productivity
or does it just waste your valuable time? And oh, better ask yourself this question; “How has
online social networking influenced my relationships with friends, family, and others?”

An advantage of these social communities has reverse side effect that is also a big
disadvantage of social networking. The disadvantages of social networking go much deeper than
privacy and safety; they strike at the very heart of healthy youth development. First, there will be
a dramatic decrease in face-to-face communication which reduces our generation’s ability to
interact with others on a speaking level. Computer reliance could hurt a person’s ability to have a
face-to-face conversation by making it awkward and unusual to hear something and respond with
a thoughtful message through the spoken word because of one’s dependence on a keyboard to
convey a message.

Second, it diminishes understanding and thoughtfulness. According to Price-Mitchell in

her column at Psychology Today published June 16, 2014, people are spending so much time
online that they don’t always understand the feeling, emotion and/or character of the person they
are talking to. Social networking has ruined the thoughtfulness in basically saying hello in
person. For instance, you could say hello to your friend in Germany with Facebook, chat in
seconds; but what if there was no way to communicate via social networking? Well you would
have to write them a letter and that is something very thoughtful.

Next, it creates a skewed self-image. Because of the autonomy afforded by the virtual
world, individuals are free to create a fantasy persona and can pretend to be someone else. Based
on the article ‘Five Disadvantages of Online Social Communities’ published on July 2013 by
Donna Cosmato, we tell ourselves lies about ourselves and develop something we are not. We
post pictures of us looking perfect and share the good news. We never post pictures of ourselves
when we get failing grades, when someone we love leaves, or when we lose a job. We never
share the bad news that always clouds our lives. We all develop this perfect image of ourselves
and some of us actually try to rely on this imaginative thought we have of ourselves instead of
staying true to who we are.

And lastly, it let people convey inauthentic expression of feelings. Social media
conversations today are filled with “haha”, “LOL”, “OMG” and other exclamations that are
meant to represent laughter. This shorthand has become second nature and is often used when the
sender is not even smiling, much less laughing, in real life. According to Robin Dunbar, an
evolutionary psychologist at Oxford, the actual physical act of laughter, and not the abstract idea
of something being funny, is what makes laughing feel so good. If we are so willing to replace
the act that honestly, we all love, with an artificial, typed representation that doesn’t even bring
the same joy, what else would we be, potentially subconsciously, willing to exchange?

Although social networking helps us to connect with new people, it has also impacted
how people make friends these days. Instead of meeting with people in personal, people
nowadays are happy and contented to just scroll through an endless list of bite-sized snippets of
personal information, or interact through comments, or even chat with multiple people
simultaneously. Be a rational person, don’t let yourself be fooled by the little benefits that these
social networking communities bring you. Really, social media makes you unsocial.