Practices: Before & After

Improve on the following paragraphs for a better piece of writing.

Write a story ending with: "If only I had been more careful, that wouldn't have happened."
Before After
Last Saturday, my mother asked me to One Saturday afternoon, I had to babysit my three-year-old little sister. My
take care of my little sister. She was mother was going out to run some errands while my father had to work
three years old. My mother was going overtime. They were both extremely busy.
out. My father was working overtime.
They were very busy.
My sister was cute. She had big eyes My sister was the cutest girl in the world, for she had beautiful big blue eyes
and a nice face. Though I loved her, she and a striking face . Though I loved her, she was also very annoying. Once
was also very annoying. Once she tore she tore up my Geography project and I became very angry.
up my Geography project and I became
very angry.
After a while, my friend, Victor,
phoned me. He invited me to his
house. I went and decided to bring
Angie along.
Victor came from a rich family. His
father was a wealthy businessman.
Then we went to his big house. It was a
large mansion. His servant brought us
to meet Victor. Then Victor took us up
to his big bedroom on the second floor.
Victor offered us some drinks. Then we
started to play a computer game. We
kept playing and playing and forgot
about Angie. About fifteen minutes
later, we heard a scream from the
staircase.
Angie was missing.

We were very scared. We went to look

for Angie. She was lying at the bottom
of the stairs. She was not moving.
Victor called the ambulance. Angie was
sent to the hospital.
Angie was injured. She had to stay in
the hospital. My parents scolded me
because I was not responsible. I felt
very sorry. If only I had been more
If only I had been more careful, that wouldn't have happened.
careful, that wouldn't have happened.
 Describe an accident you witnessed.

Before After
The school bell rang. I said goodbye to my “Ring!!!!” The school dismissal bell rang as it was already 1.00 p.m. I
teacher. It was raining heavily, so I took out packed my bag and said goodbye to my lovely teacher, Miss Perkins. I
my umbrella. There were many cars but was fortunate to bring along my umbrella for it was raining cats and
dogs. As I walked slowly in the monsoon rain, I could see many cars
traffic was moving slowly.
getting stuck in the slow-moving traffic.
At a junction near my school, I saw a girl
from my school. She was riding a scooter.
She had just stopped at the junction.
Suddenly, a van which was going very fast,
knocked into her from the back. The girl fell
to the ground. Her scooter also fell to the
ground. Her books were everywhere. She
was injured and in pain.

I quickly went to help the girl. Suddenly, the

van sped off. I was shocked. I then helped
the girl to the side. I told her it was alright
because help was on the way. Some
passers-by came to see if they could help.

Some Red Crescent Society members came

to treat her injuries. I collected the girl’s
books. Her scooter was still in good
condition.

Then a parent stopped by. She sent the girl

to the hospital. Then the policemen came.
They asked me some questions. I told them
what had happened. The policemen
thanked me for my help. They also praised
me.

After that, I went home. I felt happy. I

helped the girl and the policemen. I was
also very happy to see so many people
helping the girl. I realised that good people
are always there in this world.