ENCE 424, Section 0101

Second Pearl
Diving Assignment
Dr. Webster-Trotman

Grace Russell
-2020
Introduction
Since the first Pearl Diving Assignment, I have continued to learn much about
communication and the problems I didn’t realize I have. There are so many common pitfalls I get
trapped by without noticing, and books like Crucial Conversations seem to continuously call me
out. I have learned how to better my conflict resolution skills past finding a compromise. I feel
more in touch with why I think the way I think through different personality tests and
understanding how to communicate with those who are different than me. My communication
skills have increased significantly as I am more encouraged to stand up for myself in conflict and
understand where the other party is coming from.

Conflict Management Style

According to the assessment, the conflict management style I prefer to utilize is
accommodating. I also scored very highly on collaborating and compromising as well, scoring
only one point below accommodating. My conflict management style is referred to as a teddy
bear, valuing relationships over their own goals. They prefer to avoid or smooth over conflict so
as to not damage a relationship. While I do not necessarily think this is typically my style of
conflict management, I can understand how I received this score. I am usually a laid-back person
and do not have strong needs to where a conflict would start. I am very adaptable, so if someone
has a problem that I do not have a strong opinion about, I am more likely to flex to their needs. If
I always use the tactic and do not speak up for myself, my communication would be rendered
ineffective. And although I would be avoiding conflict to maintain the relationship, I would
ultimately become unhappy and overwhelmed with unspoken feelings. In the end, I bend for
people to ease conflict, then am confused when I am frustrated and annoyed with that person. I
have found Crucial Conversations to be a good resource for overcoming this conflict
management style. The first way to stop these unhealthy conversations is to understand how I’m
feeling. If I don’t process that I am annoyed by someone asking me to accommodate for them,
nothing will change. According to the book, “Knowing what you’re really feeling helps you take
a more accurate look at what is going on and why” (Patterson, 45). I can understand what I truly
want from the conversation. This helps build mutual purpose, which is an essential technique
Crucial Conversations offers. Mutual purpose is defined as a time when “…others perceive that
you’re working toward a common outcome in the conversation, that you care about their goals,
interests, and values. And vice versa. You believe they care about yours” (Patterson, 34). By
creating this mutual purpose after understanding how I feel, we can work towards a solution
instead of settling in conflict. Both parties feel heard, validated, and safe to speak on what’s
bothering them. I especially plan on using these tools for issues with my roommates. Instead of
letting them step over me for the sake of a calm apartment, I want to have a real conversation
with them to find what works for everyone in order to reach each individual goal.

Jung Personality Test

Taking this test was quite surprising for me. Usually I only find a few of the traits in the
analysis similar to me, while others depend greatly on my mood that day. I often pick different
answers on different days; therefore, I typically receive a slightly varied personality result every
time. But, with this specific test, I resounded with almost all of the traits of my scored
personality type. I am an ISTJ, which is Introvert-Sensor-Thinker-Judger. According to the
website, this personality has “strong concentration skills and focus on what’s necessary to
achieve the task at hand. [I] am not threatened by constructive criticism and stay cool when
others are losing control.” Typically, I would say I am a very relaxed Type-A personality. I am
hard working and accomplish tasks at hand with accuracy. I am not easily distracted from the
path I have set myself on. That being said, I also enjoy relaxation and find competition from
within instead of against others. I think that is one reason why I tend to take constructive
criticism well. I realize it is meant for my benefit and not to compare myself to others and how
they’re performing. I tend to keep my cool and am not often flustered. A prime period of time
when I notice this is during finals week. When all of my roommates and peers seem to be on
edge with a short fuse due to stress, I am usually still calm. Instead of focusing on how stressed I
am, I simply focus on what work needs to be done and make studying seem reasonable. While I
think I have always been fairly calm during these situations, I think being in Air Force ROTC
during college has really developed this skill. One of the main behaviors we learn is keeping
calm under pressure. During our time in Active Duty we will need to make timely and wise
decisions with a moment’s notice. We cannot be good leaders if we become frazzled and
ultimately are unable to lead our Airmen to victory. Because of these skills we are learning, I
have become better able to adapt to stress while others “losing control”.
The one description that made me whole heartedly believe I was an ISTJ was that they
often “hide [their] strengths and dry sense of wit. However, on other occasions, [they] will
surprise and amuse people with ideas and humorous view of life.” This is not only something I
would describe myself as, but something I have often heard from others. I do not love talking
about myself most of the time and tend to be hesitant to bring up my accomplishments.
Additionally, because I am an introvert, I tend to be relatively reserved upon meeting new
people. It is only once I become comfortable with them that I show more of my fun and witty
personality. I have often heard people tell me they didn’t see my true humor until growing a real
relationship with me.
In comparison with my Influence DISC personality, my ISTJ results are similar in a
desire to keep things light and being a great motivator of others. Both personalities create
positive environments and use their sense of humor to their advantage. Besides these similarities,
there are mostly differences between Influence and ISTJ. Viewing these similarities once again
bolsters my belief that I am closer to my Jung personality than DISC. Influencers types tend to
avoid conflict, enjoy being the center of attention, and focus more on people than tangible results
or organization. They are categorized as emotional and impulsive. This is essentially the opposite
of an ISTJ. The ISTJ relies heavily on thinking rather than letting emotions run their lives. They
judge instead of prospect, so they prefer to have plans marked out and detailed rules instead of
spontaneity. So, while there are a few similarities, I would say the ISTJ ultimately differs from
an Influence type.

Adversity Storytelling
 Upon beginning my freshman year of college, I decided to join Air Force ROTC at the
University of Maryland. I wanted to make a difference and serve my country proudly after I
graduated, so the military seemed like a great option. I wanted to join a culture that would push
me to my limits and see how much I could grow. At first, it was really difficult. Trainers were
harsh and my soft-spoken, quiet confidence was not enough to do well. Since I was newer to the
program than most of the other cadets, I had to adapt quickly in order to stay afloat. Hour after
hour I would practice marching around in my dorm room, commanding a team, exercising to
beat my previous fitness scores, and other skills necessary to do well in ROTC. I joined a group
to practice these skills more, essentially volunteering myself to be yelled at on the weekends
when I was free from my engineering homework. Slowly, I began to grow my confidence. My
leadership skills starting improving extensively, and I naturally became a standout within my
academic year. This led to my ability to help out my classmates and mentor them as well. When
it came time to decide jobs for the next year, I was placed in a coveted position. I would be in
charge of 30 cadets directly and oversee 150 other students and training. This was such a proud
moment for myself in seeing my hard work pay off.
The next semester started off well. I was meeting every deadline, producing innovative
ideas, and leading with integrity. Until one day, I was called in to meet with my commanding
officer. He let me know there were several rumors going around about how I received the
position I was currently in. Within ROTC, students choose the other student leaders, and
someone started a rumor that the only reason I had my job was because I was sleeping with my
supervisor. A formal investigation was to be held into whether I can continue serving in my role,
and until they made a decision, I was to be suspended from my duties. Of course, this came as a
huge shock to me, as it was obviously untrue. I thought my improvements spoke for themselves
and was hurt my officers would even need to look into the rumors. But what hurt the most was
when I found out this rumor was started by someone I considered a friend. He was a standout
from the beginning of freshman year and thought he was a shoe-in for the position I received.
Instead of being proud for your friends, he started a rumor to try to get me kicked out. I couldn’t
believe he would do this and didn’t know how to even address this with him. Suddenly the
rumors spread even more and my others “friends” started believing them. No one believed my
side of the story and even voted to have me permanently removed from my job. I have never felt
more alone in my life than that time. The investigation went on for a month, marking the worst
isolation I had ever felt. Even though I felt I had no friends in the program, I continued to try my
hardest and lead people despite what they thought about me.
While the investigation was wrapping up, I decided to schedule a meeting with
my officers. I opened up about my experience and how I felt the entire investigation was
completely sexist and did not put any faith in my abilities. I told of the isolation I felt and how
the investigation only fed into the perception. They quickly put me back in my position,
addressing how the hard work I continued to put in even though removed from my job showed
an integrity that was not often seen. The cadet who had started the rumors was temporarily
suspended and given formal counselings for lying about something so severe. Not only have I
since succeeded immensely in that position for the remainder of the semester, but I now am in
line to be the commander of the entire Air Force ROTC program in the spring. I could have let
the rumors stop me from growing, but instead stood up to the conflict and continued with
tenacity. I am excited to be in a position soon where I can stand up for young girls like me who
are often taken advantage of, especially in a military setting where it can be a common stigma no
one combats.

Problem Solving Storytelling

Over the summers, I work as a server to make money for school. This past summer was a
learning experience as COVID-19 immensely changed the status quo in a restaurant. We wanted
to keep the experience for patrons as normal as possible while still keeping them safe. The
restaurant implemented new policies for cleanliness, including gloves, temperature checks, and
mandatory masks every shift. The masks provided by managers were gaiters, a common style
that wraps around the neck with a thin fabric. We would use these while talking close to
customers and serving them, thinking they were effectively keeping everyone safe. One day, I
was reading news articles on new COVID findings and mask procedures. I read that gaiters were
the most ineffective masks, and essentially do nothing to block to spread of Coronavirus.
Immediately, I texted my boss and showed him the article. I explained the scientific findings that
gaiters are rendered useless and could possibly harm our customers. Continuing to use this style
of masks endangers everyone to steps into the restaurant as well as our employees. Thankfully
my boss decided to heed my advice and switch all the masks to N-95 masks for optimum safety.
Not only did this make the employees feel safer to come into work and make money for the
company, but patrons remarked feeling more comfortable and felt our company was taking steps
to ensure their safety as well.

Conclusion
In conclusion, I have learned the possible lackings within my communication and how to
combat these issues. My conflict management style could render arguments ineffective if I do
not properly address how I’m feeling and not simply accommodate others. My personality also
affects how I interact with other people and the way I can present myself best to accomplish
goals. I am excited to keep learning in this class and find new ways to apply it to my personal
life.
 Works Cited

Patterson, Kerry, et al. Crucial Conversations. McGraw-Hill, 2012.