Writing the Personal

Statement
With Liz and Janey of Vanguard College Prep
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 About Us

Essay Specialist Supervisor Essay Specialist Supervisor

Columbia University - MFA Columbia University - MFA

Liz Janey
Getting Started
 What a personal statement is

❖ A personal statement is an opportunity for you to make a case for

why you are a good fit for the programme
❖ Think of it as a pitch
❖ Approximately 700 words or 1 - 2 pages in length

What it is NOT

❖ A memoir/ your life’s story

❖ A list of what is on your CV/resume
 Research Your Course

Don’t simply visit the school and programme’s websites.

In addition…

❖ Visit the school(s) if you can

❖ Look up professors you want to work with
❖ Browse social media pages
❖ Look up notable alumni
❖ Read news coming out of the department
❖ Read samples of successful essays from specific school
❖ Look up interviews with admissions officers, and advice from
former or current students at institution
 Disclaimers

❖ The information in the presentation is generalized

❖ in order to satisfy requirements for your specific program it is
essential to research thoroughly
❖ Each department will have specifications for word count, prompt,
etc
❖ Keep in mind that expectations will change every year!
The Writing Process
 Brainstorming

Questions to ask yourself…

1. Why do you want to study this course?

2. What have you done that makes you suitable for
the course?
3. How do you stand out from the crowd - e.g. work
experience?
4. What are you aspiring to be/do in your future
career?
5. How can your work contribute to the
department/University/society?
Make sure to generate A LOT of material—more than you think you will need. A
lot of it will be cut!
 Introductory Paragraph

We recommend two approaches to take while writing the introductory paragraph:

1) Start your narrative in an engaging way

a) How did your interest in the subject begin?
b) Were there any initial challenges?
c) What solidified your interest and ultimate decision to apply to graduate school?

2) Start with an eye-catching anecdote

a) Describe a specific moment that changed the course of your studies
b) Recall a specific moment that relates to the institution, such as a visit
c) Include lots of sensory details! (What did you see, hear, smell, etc)
 Narrative Example

Japanese has never come easily to me. Honestly, it’s a brutal language to learn. But
despite the countless challenges I’ve faced, I’ve devoted more than half of my life
to learning it. Sure, I’ve experienced the occasional outburst; I’ve sobbed because I
couldn’t understand a Japanese sentence, no matter how hard I tried to dissect it.
I’ve also cursed. A lot. The journey to fluency is tough. But I can’t imagine a life
without Japanese—and I don’t think I’d ever want to.

I took my first Japanese class when I was twelve...

 Anecdote Example

Law school admissions essay:

I waited patiently by the bench in what all Harvey Mudd chemistry majors call the
"Super Lab," staring for what seemed to be hours at a small flask bubbling with
something that looked like a cross between Pepto-Bismol and whipped cream. I
was waiting for the color to turn just the right shade of blue before I could go home
for a late dinner, but it was obvious that this solution was as far from blue as
baseball is from rugby. I realized then that "Super Lab" was not so Super, and
neither was a career as a chemist.
 Body Paragraphs

Your body paragraphs should:

❖ give strong, specific reasons as to why you want to study the course at that
institution.
❖ show what makes you stand out as a candidate

Your body paragraphs could:

❖ mention relevant study - including projects, dissertations, essays - or work

experience
❖ highlight your career aspirations and show how the course will help you
achieve them
But you should still tell a story—with purpose

❖ While this isn’t a memoir, you should still be taking the

admissions officers through your journey
 Body Paragraph Example

I took my first Japanese class when I was twelve. Initially, my interest in the
language was superficial; I loved anime and manga and thought Spanish was
boring. Over time, however, I developed a far deeper connection to Japanese
culture. But despite my growing passion for Japan, my career goals remained
convoluted. I knew I wanted to write and translate, but what exactly? On top of
that, I was still a somewhat taciturn conversationalist. And as for kanji, well, let’s
just say kanji and I have a rocky relationship.

After studying Japanese for five years in junior high and high school, I entered
college and declared a double major in English and East Asian languages and
cultures. I received As in my Japanese classes, but I couldn’t shake the feeling I
was an impostor. After all, I wasn’t really good at Japanese; I was just good at
doing homework. It was a feeling I’d harbored for years.

And then things changed.

 Concluding Paragraph

The conclusion should sum up your main points, reflect on your main
accomplishments and clearly show your desire to study.

If you began with an anecdote, then the conclusion should refer back to that
anecdote in some way, to take the reader full-circle.
 Conclusion Example

Here’s the thing: I am not a prodigy, nor am I particularly gifted at Japanese. As

much as I love the language, there will always be a kanji I’ll struggle to recall, a
word I can’t pronounce. What I am, however, is passionate, creative, and
ambitious. I’m a lover of stories and languages. Japanese is the path I want to take,
the career I strive for, the language I speak—and the life, no matter how
challenging, I intend to live.
Dos and Don’ts
 Don’t: Leave it to the last minute!

❖ Although the personal statement is short, crafting a something you

are proud of takes several drafts, which takes time

Do: Leave time to revise

❖ After you write a first draft, let it simmer for a few days so you can
return to it with fresh eyes
❖ Revise
❖ Get feedback from friends, family, or coworkers
 Don’t: Use cliches
There will be hundreds of other people applying for your programme. Think
critically about what everyone else will say, and what the admissions officers will
read 100 times or more. If you are applying for an English degree, you don’t need
to start with “I’ve always loved reading.” If you’re applying for a medical degree,
you don’t need to start with, “I’ve always wanted to help people.”

Do: Be as specific as possible

Tell the admissions committee what is special about you. Why should they take
you over all of the other applicants who also like to read?
 Don’t: Be too casual

❖ Don’t write your statement like you are talking to a friend.

❖ Try to avoid flowery language
❖ Be clear and concise

Do: Be professional
❖ Create a balance between a positive/enthusiastic tone while
remaining formal
 Don’t: Have spelling/grammatical errors!

❖ Typos and small errors will betray all the hard work you have done,
and make you seem unprofessional.

Do: Proofread, proofread, proofread!

❖ This is where multiple drafts come in handy. Read your essay
specifically for typos, and preferably have a friend/family
member/tutor look at it.
 Dos and Don’ts Examples
Example 1
'I was inspired by the Universitys
world-renowned researchers and
world-leading facilities. The University is
very highly-ranked in Biology, which is
what I have dreamed of studying since I
was a little child. I would be excited to
study with professors who are so
well-known in there field. I realize your
institution is a selectively permeable
membrane, but I think I’m just the right
kind of organism to get through!’
Example 2
'I was inspired to study Animal
Biology because of the
groundbreaking work into the
behaviour of bees that is being led by
Sussex Professor Francis Ratnieks. I
follow the work of the University of
Sussex Laboratory of Apiculture and
Social Insects and would be proud to
study in such a renowned department
and contribute to its highly ranked
research.'
 Brainstorming Exercise

Focused free-write:

1) Why are you interested in the course?

2) A specific anecdote that illustrates why you are interested in the course

3) Why does this anecdote show that you will make unique contributions to the
course? What are some other specific work/curricular experiences you’ve had that
make you a good candidate?
 ?

Any questions?
We are always happy to help!
Contact Information
Web: www.vanguardcp.com
Call: 214.488.4333
Text: 469.427.4411
Email: rockbrook@vanguardcp.com