Running head: AUTOBIOGRAPHY 1

Camantha-Rea Lyerly

Autobiography

On my honor, I, Camantha-Rea Lyerly, have not violated the honor code in completing this

work.
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Every person wants to be special and seen as unique compared to others. As humans, we

value our self-worth and our place in society, but sometimes this self-worth is placed wrongfully

in the hands of others’ opinions. Personality is the characteristic that sets each person apart from

each other. Personality begins developing when we are born and never stops changing and self-

regulating until we take our last breath. There are many theories as to how and why personality

develops the way that it does, but in particular I see myself through Carl Rogers’ person-centered

theory and Adler’s theory of personality development. Both theorists understood that we have

the ultimate power over ourselves, therefore we have a choice in our personality development.

Rogers’ main focus was dependent on one knowing what is best for themselves and developing a

sense of positive self-regard. His other focus concerned incongruency of one’s ideal self-image

and actual self. Adler’s main focus was to understand that all humans have a need to belong and

feel like they have a purpose in society in order to develop their personality. Adler’s personality

theory was expanded upon through his six main tenets of personality development. These six

main tenets can be used to explain my personality development.

A theorist who focused on personality development was Carl Rogers. Rogers understood

that only you know yourself best and what is best for you. He also realized that peoples’ images

of themselves can have a huge impact on their self-worth, therefore places barrier in their way to

complete a whole personality development. He went on to be the forefront of person-centered

therapy and hypothesize the conditions of personality development.

Carl Rogers’ main focus was on the Person-Centered Theory. Within this theory, certain

conditions have to be met in order to yield certain outcomes, as for anything else in life. In order

to develop a healthy personality, we have to be aware of what we know of ourselves and who we
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want to be. In Rogers’ terms, if what we know about ourselves barely overlaps with our ideal

self, then we are incongruent and become vulnerable to illnesses, such as anxiety and depression.

When people are left vulnerable and incongruent, they are more likely to distort their

experiences. If people distort their negative experiences, then they make the attribution that they

were not the problem, but some outside force was. By making this attribution, they never change

and are stuck being incongruent. If people distort their positive experiences, then they essentially

beat themselves up over every little mistake. These people see every bad thing as being under

their control and they could have changed it. When making this type of internal attribution,

people are more vulnerable to depression and anxiety, pushing them further away from positive

self-regard.

The ultimate goal of the Person-Centered Theory is to have positive self-regard. In order

to develop positive self- regard, we have to experience positive regard, within which we feel that

others value and appreciate us as a unique and individual person. As soon as we are born, this

strive for positive self-regard begins, but there are some barriers along the way. One barrier is

facing our conditions of worth. When we feel unworthy, it is because we believe we are only

loved and accepted when we meet other’s expectations. This barrier leaves us incongruent and

defensive toward others.

In the article, “The necessary and sufficient conditions of therapeutic personality

change”, Roger’s identifies six conditions that he hypothesizes are necessary for personality

change in person-centered therapy. The first is that the client and therapist are in psychological

contact. The client not only has a relationship with the therapist, but he or she also trusts the

therapist. The second is that the client is experiencing incongruence, leaving him or her

vulnerable and feeling unworthy. At this stage, the client comes to realization with his or her
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congruency. The third is that the therapist is congruent and has positive self-regard for himself or

herself, in order to be able to adequately help the client. The fourth is that the therapist shows the

client positive regard, allowing the client to begin to see that he or she is a prized individual. The

fifth is that the therapist shows empathy for the client, along with the sixth condition that the

therapist shows unconditional positive regard for the client. The therapist is not there to tell the

client what to do, because only the client knows what is best for his or herself, however the

therapist is there to show that the client is accepted no matter what (Rogers, 1992).

By gaining positive self-regard, people can experience growth out of incongruency and

come closer to their ideal self. The downside to this is that it is very rare to get unconditional

positive self-regard. In order for unconditional positive self-regard to occur, people have to

recognize their organismic self, what they know and don’t know about themselves, and attempt

to move towards congruency, or their ideal self. In Fernald’s article, “Carl Rogers: Body-

centered counselor”, he makes an interesting point that one of the reasons that unconditional

positive regard is so hard to find is because we reward behaviors that are unnatural. For example,

we tell boys they are not supposed to cry, which in some cases in unnatural for boys and causes a

condition of worth, where if they meet the expectation that they will not cry, then they can be

accepted. Fernald also emphasizes that the three components to personality development are

empathy, genuineness, and unconditional positive regard (Fernald, 2000). When these are met,

people can find congruency in themselves.

So, what does all of this positive regard and gaining congruency mean? Well, Adler

focused on how people strive to have a place in society and when their needs are met, they have

a love for others. Alder refers to this drive to serve and love one’s community as human glue.

Rogers differs from Adler because he focuses more on people finding self-love verses needing to
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be love by others. When people see potential in themselves, it opens up doorways to a healthier

living style and not living in the borders of conditions of worth. Once finding positive self-

regard, the more a peace one can be with himself or herself, allowing their personality to develop

completely.

Rogers’ focus is on people knowing what is best for themselves. In order to unlock their

potential, they have to feel unconditional positive regard to the point where they know they are a

prized individual. The barriers of becoming a whole person are not meeting someone’s

conditions of worth. Rogers discusses many components of personality development, but they all

come down to evolving one’s positive self-regard by showing them unconditional positive

regard, which is hard to find, but not impossible.

Another theorist who studied personality development is Alfred Adler. Alder believed

that being successful and contributing to a society develops a more positive outlook on the world

and to others around us. Alder studied the interpsychic behaviors of people and how we develop

personality. He believed that people have choice in shaping their personality, even though their

personality starts from the day they are born. As humans, we are always moving forward to a

final goal and basing our behavior on what is to come in the future and not what held us back in

the past.

Adler has six main tenets that explain human’s development of personality. First is that

the force behind personality has to do with the need to succeed and be superior. Our final goal is

what drives us because it gives us purpose and meaning to our life. The downfall of this need to

be superior is that we have the tendency to become self-centered and entitled. On the other hand,

the fear of weakness and inferiority can drive us towards our final goal. Our personality begins

to be molded at a young age, for example if mothers neglect their children, the children will have
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the tendency to develop a serving attitude towards others, but also wonder why he or she is not

loved. This neglect leads to feelings of inferiority that in time can have traumatic impacts on

one’s mental health.

The second tenet has to do with one’s perception of reality rather than reality itself. As

humans, we see what we want to see, therefore Adler refers to our final goal as being fictional

because it can be based on complete non-truths. It is important that at a young age, parents’

guide their children to see reality for what it is. In Adler’s book, Understanding Human Nature

(2013), he argued that children link themselves to their parent’s personality because they are

searching for acceptance and significance in their environment (Adler, p. 164). For example,

Ferguson (2010) mentions that if you feel sorry for a child, then that child will in return start to

feel sorry for him or herself as well, which leads to feelings of inferiority (Ferguson, 2010).

The third tenet is finding consistency within ourselves. Humans like to be able to predict

what is to come next, which is why consistency is so important, so we can prepare for the future

and move closer to our final goal. Consistency does not only mean within or day to day lifestyle,

but also that our personalities are coherent and make sense together. For example, it makes sense

that an extravert is also open to new ideas. While attempting to be consistent and accepted by

others around us, we engage in activities to overcome the things that contribute to our

fictionalism. These activities can include setting goals too high for ourselves, which will in

return move us further away from our final goal and decrease one’s feeling of belonging to

society.

The fourth tenet is social interest. Most humans have a love for other humans and the

world around them. Humans also want to make the world a better place, referring to the social

interest, or “human glue,” that holds people together. Children whose need to belong is fulfilled
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have a better sense of giving to the community and striving to have a purpose. According to

Ferguson, the mental health of people goes up when they feel connected to their community as

an equal contributor (Ferguson, 2010). Therefore, the more one has developed their social

interest, the healthier he or she is. Those who lack human glue can trace this abnormality back to

their childhood. Children who are overly pampered lack social interest and love for humanity

because they feel entitled. Children who are neglected also lack social interest because they see

themselves as inferior to others, which explains their drive to be caretakers so they can prove

their self-worth to others. It comes down to be an equal with others. When one does not feel

equal is when the need to be superior and have unrealistic goals occurs, therefore diminishing

one’s human glue (Ferguson, 2010).

The fifth tenet has to do with one’s personality dictating his or her lifestyle, for example

it can be as little as who he or she hangs out with and what situations they put themselves in to as

big as family lifestyles and career goals. We reflect on our attitudes, behaviors, goals, and how

we go about solving major life problems. In this stage we strive for successful occupations,

romantic love, and being an essential part to the society around us. However, personality

development from childhood extends into adult life. If a child grew up being pampered, it will be

harder for him or her to achieve a stable romantic relationship because each time the child is not

being pampered, they will feel alienated by their partner (Ferguson, 2010). If this alienation

occurs, it will have more effects on mental health because they will not feel successful or equal

in their community.

In the sixth tenet, we understand our power to create our own lifestyle. We make choices

that move us closer to our final goal and who we are to others in the world around us. According

to Adler, it is really important that we feel like we belong. If we set goals too high though, we
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become more insecure because we feel as if though we are not contributing to a functioning

society. High neurotics tend to set goals that are too high, causing anxiety and moving them

further away from their final goal and need to belong. This is when we engage in safeguarding,

such as making excuses for why we cannot achieve something or withdrawing from decision

making.

Adler is not only known for his work on personality development theories, but also his

contribution to the counseling field. His methods are still used today in the workplace, in

counseling, and family relations in order to help people feel equal and harmonious with their

community. The main focus of Adlerian therapy is to meets one’s need to belong because this is

when human glue increases, therefore mental health (Ferguson, 2010).

As humans we can all recount a time where we felt like we did not belong and inferior to

others. It is important that we have a sense of belonging and feel as equals to others around us, so

that we contribute successfully to our society and find value within ourselves. According to

Adler, personality begins developing from the day we are born and is guided by how our parents

treat us in childhood, then carries on through life. The most important value to developing

personality is social interest and the desire to make the world a better place. By gaining more

social interest, the more control we have over our personality and how it moves us to our final

goal. Overall, more social interest is beneficial because it protects us from illnesses such as

anxiety and depression.

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I see my personality development through these theorists. My personality began the

second I was born, just like everyone else. I am the youngest of four children. I have one full

sister, a half-sister, and a half-brother. My parents were both married twice, and my half siblings

are from my mother’s first marriage. I was born and raised in Salisbury, North Carolina,

including my siblings and my father. My mother was an army brat and moved around all the time

growing up, she even lived in Japan for a year. My half-brother moved back in with his father

around the time I was born, so I never really knew him growing up. My half-sister, full sister,

and I are three peas in a pod. I grew up in a Christian family and still hold on tight to my faith

today.

I attended the same elementary and middle school as my full sister. She continued her

education at a private Christian school while I went to Gray Stone Charter school for my junior

and senior year of high school. I attribute my easy transition into college classes to be because of

Gray Stone, whereas my full sister did not transition easily to college. Both my full sister and I

played volleyball throughout middle and high school. The only reason I loved to play volleyball

was because she did, which in fact is where a lot of my interests came from. If my sister enjoyed

something, I typically copied her. My full sister and I always had the same hairstyles growing

up, or we played the same sports, and if she had a boyfriend, then I would try and get a

boyfriend. Obviously, that was just a middle school thing, in high school I chose not to date and

to focus on my studies.

When it comes to my personality, I am normally described as very outgoing and social.

On the OCEAN personality test, I scored neither high nor low on openness, very high on

conscientiousness, extremely high on extraversion, very high on agreeableness, and low on

neuroticism. All of these scores made sense to me because I am open to some new things, but not
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all because I am very conscientious. I am more open to trying new foods than I am to try to learn

to a new skill, such as ice skating. My conscientiousness is seen my classwork, attendance to

classes, work, family events, and my organization skills. My mother always described me as very

organized growing up because my room would be spotless and I used to pick out my outfit for

the entire school week, including the earrings that would go with it. I enjoy learning and striving

to make good grades in my classes, so I can benefit from college in the real world. The extremely

high extraversion made the most sense to me. I love meeting new people and going to events that

feed my outgoingness. This is one of the reasons why I am so thankful to still have in person

classes this semester, so I can see and interact with people. My low neuroticism makes sense

because I am not the type to be easily anxious or overthink situations.

My personality most definitely developed from my mother. I know that personality is not

passed down completely through genes, but I definitely watched my mother growing up and

latched on to her demeanor. Because my mom and I are so alike, we get along so well, but when

we butt heads, it is chaos because we both try so hard to be right. My full sister’s personality is

closest with my father, they are both quiet and observe their surroundings more. Even when

frustrated with each other, they both hold it in and avoid speaking rather than working it out. My

mother and I are the type to talk it out until we are black and blue in the face.

When I was 18, I had a very big personality crisis. My freshman year of college, I begged

my parents to let me go to Lenoir-Rhyne. I knew it would be a huge leap letting me go away

from home to college considered I had been sheltered the majority of my life. They had a right to

be scared. I was not ready. I was not nearly independent enough or set in my morals to have been

prepared for my roommate, who had no morals, or the college lifestyle around me. Because I am

such an extravert, I never turned down the chance to party with my roommate, but it did rapidly
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change my beliefs about myself and I ended up not being the person I am now. I had not

developed a strong sense of positive self-regard; therefore, I was easily impressionable and

molded to be who others wanted me to be.

My mother noticed the change in me and took it upon herself to change my college plans.

She had me transfer to Catawba College over Christmas break of my freshman year. This change

put me in a bad spot. I did not make friends as a choice because I thought I would somehow end

up back at Lenoir-Rhyne. My parents went through drastic measures to get me back to the place I

was before college. This ended in many yelling matches between my mother and I, which

probably happened because we operate in the same manner. After a year of me neglecting to

follow my parents’ rules, quarantine came. I spent a month at home with them. I laughed with

my mother and came back in touch with my morals. With this included breaking up with my

boyfriend of a year and half, which was the main reason I was at such a personality conflict for

so long.
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Consistent with Roger’s personality theory, I had not developed a sense of positive self-

regard of myself by the time I went to Lenoir-Rhyne. I was easily influenced by others’ opinions

and expectations of me. My barrier was that I believed I had conditions to my self-worth,

therefore if I did not meet people’s expectations, I felt unworthy. I slowly lost my morals and

became more of a party girl in the making so that more people would accept me. Another

condition of worth I felt while growing up was that I was always being compared to my full

sister. I felt like I always had to prove myself to her and my parents. My full sister is four years

older than me, which caused me to act older than my age in middle school so that I could “fit in

with her friends.” This caused a lot of frustration between my sister and I, but when I let go of

trying to be her carbon copy, her and I started to become more like best friends.

After recently developing my positive self-regard, I care less about what others think. I have

also realized that I feel more accepted by others’ when I do not try to meet their expectations.

My personality has flourished the most this past year, I have made so many new friends at

Catawba, I am more driven to succeed in all of my classes, and most importantly my relationship

with my parents has grown. I have become more mature since gaining my positive self-regard,

which has opened many new life chapters for me.

Since gaining my positive self-regard for myself, my personality has continued to

develop into more of an adult-like manner. I recently moved out, which at first seemed like a fun

vacation, then reality set in that I had my own house, my own bills, my own yard, and neighbors

to keep up with. My conscientiousness had grown into more than just keeping up with

schoolwork, but also being on time for bills, and being sure my house is clean and kept up with

all the time. I have noticed that my cleaning habits have become very similar to my mothers,
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which she likes to tell me that she’s been waiting for the day that I finally understand all of her

cleaning madness, and that day has definitively come.

Another aspect of Rogers’ person-centered theory that is seen in my life is incongruency.

When one in incongruent, their ideal self-image and actual self-image do not match at all. My

ideal self-image has always been to be a wife and mother. I added to my ideal self-image

recently that I wanted to be a speech pathologist. Clearly, I am none of these things yet, but I do

not feel a great sense of incongruency because I am actively working towards my ideal self-

image. I am completing the degree I need in order to transition smoothly to graduate school and

get my speech pathology certification. After I fulfill my career goals is when I will worry about

my martial goals.

My personality is consistent with Adler’s theory of personality development. My parents

neither neglected nor pampered me while growing up. They let me make my own decisions, with

a little guidance here and there, so that I could become more independent. Adler had a strong

belief that personality was a choice, and I made the choice over how I portrayed myself at

Catawba my first year. I held back my extraversion and who I really was because I was at a

moral conflict with myself. Within Alder’s 6 tenets of personality development, I fit into each

one.

The first tenet being the need to succeed, my final goal does drive me to be who I am. I

am very conscientious because one of my ultimate goals is to be a speech pathologist, meaning I

have to do well in school to reach this goal. Another final goal I have is to be a mother. I am very

family oriented and have wanted to be a mother since I was a little kid. The idea of having a

family of my own brings me a lot of joy, but having a successful career is fueled by this desire so

I can provide for my family. My family was never rich, and I have always had to earn the things
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I want, including college. I want my children to at least be able to get a good education without

worrying about how much it costs.

The second tenet has to do with my individual perception of reality. I perceive my reality

different than those around me, for instance if I am picked on by a boy, I typically think that

means that they like me, but someone else might perceive what they are saying to be true and

hurtful. In my reality, I latched onto my mother’s personality as a way to be accepted by her,

according to Ferguson (2010). Eventually, my personality developed to actually be like my

mother’s, we are both outgoing, we make the same facial expressions, and we typically think the

same way.

The third tenet has to do with consistency and being able to predict the future. My

personality often revolves around what is coming the next day. I have always been the type who

likes to plan for the weather, how much time I will set aside for schoolwork, and I even like to

keep my sleep schedule consistent, which is really hard for a college student. I am easily

frustrated when unplanned events pop up in my day. If I did not have something in my schedule

for that day, then it easily messes up my whole mood because I want to accomplish the things I

already had planned for that day. This frustration in me caused many fights between my parents

and I in high school because after getting home from school and volleyball practice, I would

typically want to get started on my homework, but if they asked me to vacuum the house it

would completely throw me off. Interestingly, if my parents left me a list of chores to do instead

of verbally telling me what to do, there was never any issue with it. I enjoy checking off a list,

which is attributed to my conscientiousness.

The fourth tenet has to do with social interest. I want to make the world a better place

and I have a drive to benefit society. Doesn’t each person want to be remembered for something
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great? After I graduate college, I would like to become a speech pathologist because I have this

desire to help others who need it, especially children. I do feel the need to belong and that need is

fulfilled by studies, partnership with peers, and involvement with my family.

The fifth tenet has to do with my lifestyle choices due to my personality. Because I am

such an extravert, I place myself in situations that involve other people. For example, my job

involves seeing new faces each day. I enjoy making weekend plans to see as many friends as

possible, of course with COVID this year that has been hard to achieve. My friends also consist

of those who are as determined as I am in their studies. My friends and I enjoy the same shows,

have study dates, and love doing something fun in the outdoors. I would say that my personality

does define my social groups and the situations I put myself into. I also believe that my

personality drives me towards people who are very successful. For example, Dr. Brownlow, not

to flatter you in a paper that I am turning in to you, but I knew you were very well educated and

driven from the second I met you, which I do not get that intuition from many other professors

that I meet. From that point on you have always been my favorite professor, which all of my

friends know, because you push me and make me master the material I learn, not just briefly

remember it in order to pass a test. My favorite teachers in high school were always the ones

who made me work the hardest because I felt more accomplished by the end of the class.

The sixth tenet involves the understanding that I have power over my life. I ultimately am

responsible for my future and how successful I will be in life. My mom used to always tell me

that I was the only one who had control over my feelings and that whoever it was that hurt my

feelings did not have a right to control them. My mother was completely right, I ultimately do

control how I feel and react to situations, but it is a very hard, almost impossible skill to obtain.

This skill involves having a good sense of positive self-regard, as Rogers would say, and
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knowing you have no conditions to your worth. I also do not think that anything is based on pure

luck, minus winning the lottery, which is very rare. Therefore, I do not expect to get good grades

based on luck or the better end of the stick because I just showed up. I grew up knowing that if I

wanted something, then I had to earn it myself.

I am honestly not sure if I would have passed the marshmallow test as a kid because I

never had the patience to wait for the things I wanted. In fact, I am not very financially stable

even though I try really hard to save my paychecks. I remember asking my dad for a puppy in

fifth grade because I had just found out I was not allergic to dogs anymore. My dad told me to

start earning money for one, so I did just that by doing tasks for my grandparents, and yardwork

for my mom, until I eventually earned enough money to pay for half of the puppy I wanted and

my dad paid for the rest. I also had to buy my own Nintendo by earning money through chores

and yardwork once again. My dad instilled in me a “go-getter” attitude and I now rarely ask my

parents for help on anything, I will either figure it out myself or earn the money for something I

want myself because that is a part of life they taught me at a young age.

My personality has been developing my whole life, yet some aspects of it always

remained consistent. I have always been an extravert, very conscientious, and determined to

reach my goals. Through this analysis I have learned that my personality is almost a carbon copy

of my mother’s, which may sound corny, but we really are so alike ever since I matured. My

personality has only been in a crisis when I was not one with my morals and positive self-regard.

Once I gained my positive self-regard, is when I began to flourish for who I really was. Rogers’

person-centered therapy is based off the idea of strengthening one’s congruency and positive

self-regard, which is a therapy I have personally connected with the most. I have even found
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myself trying this method of making one feel loved and heard and increasing their self-worth

whenever someone tells me they are not happy with themselves.

Recently, I met a girl and she told me she did not feel pretty because her ex-boyfriend

cheated on her. This news broke my heart because she valued her self-worth on her ex-

boyfriend’s image of her. I ended up talking her about the conditions of worth that Rogers’

references and how they are meant to hold us back from our true potential. I ended up doing

what I could to make her feel worthy because she believes, not because someone else tells her

she is. My conversation with this girl was a mirror image of who I used to be and the things my

mother used to have to tell me. Luckily, I gained a knowledge of my self-worth not too long ago

and even though it will be tested, I know I have a good foundation to brave the storm.

In sum, my personality is what makes me whole. When I try to change who I am, I come

to terms with a personality crisis that always leaves me feeling incongruent and unworthy. Since

accepting who I am, I have grown into a happier, more mature human that has a love for my

society and a drive to make a difference. I believe my personality is what drove me to choose the

profession of speech pathology. My personality is also why I have the friends that I have today,

driven people just like me. An important finding about myself through this analysis is that

gaining a positive self-regard for myself was what saved me from not exercising my skills to

their fullest potential, such as my drive to make good grades or be financially stable. One’s

personality should be cherished because road to developing it is sometimes hard and conflicting,

but the journey to finding yourself is worth it in the end.

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References

Adler, A. (2013). Understanding human nature (psychology revivals). ProQuest Ebook

Central https://ebookcentral-proquest-com.catawba.idm.oclc.org

Ferguson, E. D. (2010). Adler’s innovative contributions regarding the need to belong. The

Journal of Individual Psychology, 66(1), 1–7.

Fernald, P. S. (2000). Carl Rogers: Body-centered counselor. Journal of Counseling &

Development, 78(2), 172–179. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.1556-6676.2000.tb02575.x

Rogers, C. R. (1992). The necessary and sufficient conditions of therapeutic personality

change. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 60(6), 827-832.

https://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.60.6.827