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If you are bored with life, if you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things – you
don’t have enough goals. –Lou Holtz

Own your feelings

Accept that you alone are responsible for the way you think and feel. No one can make you feel that way. Own
responsibility for allowing yourself to feel the way you do.

Be self-aware
Step back and observe yourself from a distance. How do you react to people and situations? Are you reacting
unconsciously from the “wounded child” or responding in a calm, compassionate manner? When you’re conscious and
aware of your feelings in a situation, you have the power to respond, rather than react.

Be authentic
Be true to yourself. There’s no need to put on a mask or a persona for someone else. You are perfect, whole and
complete the way you are.

Love yourself unconditionally

Accept yourself for who you are, the parts you like, the parts you don’t. You’re part of divine creation. When you know
and believe that, you will love and accept yourself the way you are.

Never belittle yourself

Never put yourself down or disrespect yourself. Don’t allow anyone else to treat you in a way that you don’t approve of.
Never accept less than what you deserve – from yourself or anyone else.

Take care of yourself first

Remember the airline stewardess telling you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping the person next to you?
You can’t take care of someone else, your family, or your kids, if you don’t take care of yourself first. Make yourself and
your health a priority and do what it takes to get well, in every way.

Get in touch with your Higher Self

Your intuition is your Higher Self, the self that knows without knowing, sees without seeing. It is this self that will guide
you towards your higher purpose. Any time you spend in meditation, prayer or solitude, cultivating your relationship
with your higher self, will be time well spent.
Learn to connect with yourself at a deeper level, find your purpose, and understand your role in the universe. It will
transform your relationship with yourself, and with everyone in your life.

It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and make your happiness a priority — it’s actually quite
necessary! When you take care of you, you will be better able to take care of those around you. Before you can expect
anyone else to love you, you must love yourself and commit to fostering a healthy relationship with that person that you
spend the most time with – yourself!

10 signs that you are in a healthy relationship with yourself:

1. You are gracious.

You are appreciative of where you are at this exact moment, and you do not let negativity or what-ifs get you down.
While you may not have that million-dollar mansion or vacation home in Bora Bora, you are thankful for what you do
have: family, great friends, health, and wholesome food on your table, amongst other things. You may daydream about
what the future has in store for you, but you are not pessimistic or negative about your present situation.
 
2. You do what feels good.
Do you want to do yoga? Do it. Do you want to take a nap and have a lazy Saturday afternoon? Go for it. You are in
touch with what your body and mind need, and you allow yourself to have time off, when desired. You are able to make
decisions that are right for you in the moment, without regrets or remorse later on.
 
3. You smile and laugh … regularly.
You know what makes you happy, and you surround yourself with those people, places and things every day. Whether it
is a playful puppy, a vigorous hot yoga sesh, or a spontaneous adventure, you grab life by the proverbial balls and make
sure that each day is a fresh start, all with one destination – your happiness. Your laughter is contagious and you light up
every room that you are in, creating a cycle of happiness and positivity everywhere you go.
 
4. You can be alone.
We are not talking about running off to a deserted island and becoming a hermit, but you are in a healthy relationship
with yourself if you can spend a day or night at home alone vegging out on the couch without needing FaceTime (or
social media, text, or email) with other people. You are comfortable in your own skin and you can find ways to entertain
yourself.
 
5. You care for yourself.
You are self-aware and often ask yourself the right questions, such as “How do I feel today?” You are in tune with your
body and mind’s needs, and you make those needs your top priority. You eat well, exercise regularly and get plenty of
rest. If your body doesn’t feel right, you know what small adjustments you should make to get realigned and refocused.
 
6. You have hobbies.
Your significant other is not a hobby, but the concerts or comic book conventions that you attend together can be.
Hobbies can be as simple as a love for a romance novel or even a regular yoga practice (woo hoo!), so if it feels right do
it,and do it often. If you have always wanted to learn to crochet or surf, what are you waiting for? Life is short and
there are so many things to experience, so carpe diem my friends. Best of all, the more hobbies you have, the more skills
you acquire, which will boost your self-confidence and help you create an even stronger relationship with yourself.
 
7. You enjoy silence.
You can go for a long walk or peacefully daydream without feeling like you have not accomplished enough on your to-
do list. Sometimes your body needs a break from the constant influx of information, and a little quiet time and relaxation
is all you need to recharge and prepare for your day or week ahead. Let your mind wander and see where it takes you —
you might be surprised how freeing it can be to allow yourself to be in the moment, instead of 10 steps ahead. If you find
it difficult to quiet your mind for a few minutes, try a guided meditation to mantra and quiet music, which will help
guide you to a state of tranquility.
 

8. You surround yourself with people that make you happy.

“Choose to spend your time with those individuals that support your growth and share your interests”

We all have that friend that is always nagging about seemingly irrelevant non-issues. If the people in your life are
negative and make you feel uneasy, those feelings will permeate beyond your conversations with said negative person.
Instead, pick and choose who you surround yourself with. Choose to spend your time with those individuals that support
your growth and share your interests, which in turn makes you feel better about yourself and more confident in your
decisions and place in the world.
 
9. You practice positive self-talk.
You make it your mission to end each night with a smile on your face, and that all starts with positive self-talk. You
spend a few moments each morning and night (and at various times throughout your day) repeating positive affirmations
in the mirror, such as “I love you,” “You are smart and wonderful,” “You are beautiful and strong.” Whatever motivation
you need for that given day, you give yourself that pep talk to set your mind right before facing the world. If you do not
practice this already, start now! You will be surprised at how these words will become true over time, as your mind
begins to believe and accept your mantras as your new reality.
 
10. You reward yourself.
You treat yourself to pampering that is good for your body and soul, such as a mini shopping spree, a spa day and
delicious meals without the guilt (and even dessert first if that’s what feels right). We all need a little “me time” every
once in a while, so choose activities that relax and debug you, and do it solo so you can realize what activities are good
for your soul.

“Life is a perpetual cycle of learning”

Life is a perpetual cycle of learning, growing and evolving, so what matters is that you are happy in the here and now.
Just as with any relationship, one with yourself takes hard work and dedication. Remember that you are always worth
the effort that you are good enough, you are fantastic, and you are in the exact place that you are meant to be. Follow
these simple steps, and you will be well on your way to a lifetime of joy and stress-free living.
21 Loving Ways To Connect More Deeply With Yourself

For a big chunk of my life, I struggled with a poor relationship with myself. I had a negative inner dialogue that was
critical, judgmental and mean. My perfectionist tendencies made me feel like I was never good enough. I was often
completely disconnected from myself, and instead caught up in endless patterns of external striving and seeking. I
punished and controlled my body. I withheld love from myself because I didn’t believe I deserved to receive it. But over
recent years so much of this has changed.

My relationship with myself has now become a solid foundation that everything else rests on, and I know that
when it becomes unsteady, everything else around me starts to feel shaky too.

Over the years, I have learnt how to release my critical inner chatter, and tune into my deeper loving wisdom. I have
practiced acceptance, forgiveness and unconditional self-love. I have come to love and adore who I am, the body I have
been given, my flaws, my weaknesses, and everything that makes me uniquely me. 

As I have drawn my awareness deeper and deeper inwards, away from the noise of the external world and the chaos of
my mind, I have found a safe, warm and loving space within where I am supported, guided and at peace.

Like any relationship, the one you have with yourself takes time to build. It needs to be lovingly and patiently tended to.
And it is going to take some work.

1) Pay Attention To Your Needs (And Meet Them)

Do you ignore what you need, dismiss that niggling feeling in your belly, or sideline your dreams? Instead, begin paying
attention to what you want and need in every moment. Check in with yourself regularly and ask “ How am I feeling?” or
“What do I need right now?” or “What do I really want?”. Find out what it is and then love yourself enough to give it to
yourself.

2) Use Your Breath To Draw You Inwards

Your breath can help anchor you into your body and draw you deeper into yourself. You can do this anywhere, anytime.
Just bring your awareness to your breath and follow it with your attention. Feel it moving into your nose and follow your
inhale, all the way down to your belly. And then follow it all the way up and out. Take 5 minutes to practise this as often
as you can. 

3) Create Sacred Morning Time

Even if all you can find is 5 minutes, make time in the mornings before you begin your day to sit and tune into what you
want to experience and create. Visualise your day unfolding how you would love it to. Set some key intentions about
how you want to feel, how you want to take care of yourself or what you want to achieve. Even this small practise will
help your day unfold more consciously and deliberately.

4) Consult Yourself Before Committing

How quick are you to say yes or make a commitment? Do you stop, pause and sit with it? Rather than just reacting,
automatically saying yes or jumping to action, check inwards before saying yes or no to anything. Ask: “Is this what I
really want?” “Am I saying yes out of obligation or need, or because I really want to?” “Does saying yes feel supportive
or draining?” Make sure you are consulting yourself deeply before you commit. 
5) Support Yourself With Loving Thoughts

Do you tear yourself down and criticise yourself with your thoughts? What if you were to instead empower and support
yourself? What if you were to back yourself, uplift yourself and choose to love yourself deeply. Ask: “What could I think
right now that would support and empower me?” Then start practising it. 

6) Move Your Body With Presence and Kindness

Move your body as a form of self-love and do it with kindness. Ask your body how it wants to move, rather than forcing
yourself to do what you want. Dance, stretch, run, go to a class, do yoga, walk, skip, jump around. Let movement feel
freeing, fun and nourishing. And as you move, be deeply present and tuned into your body and feel all the sensations that
come with that movement, rather than rushing through to complete it.

7) Make Time For Your ‘Little Loves’

What makes you smile, warms your heart and fills you with joy? Is it watching the sunrise or putting your toes in the
ocean? Having a hot bath or curling up with a book? Eating a piece of our favourite chocolate or painting? Write out a
list of all of the little things, practices and activities that you love and that make you smile. See if you can make time
each day for one of these small things that you love to do.

8) Get Intimate

There is nothing more intimate than staring deeply into someone’s eyes. It creates connection, closeness and deepens
your bond, and the same applies when you practise it with yourself. To do this, sit close in front of a mirror and look
deeply into your own eyes. Choose one eye to focus on and hold your gaze for at least 5 minutes, or even more. Be fully
present with yourself, feel a sense of love for yourself and allow yourself to drop into deeper self-connection. 

9) Tap Into Your Heart Energy

Your head will always try pull you out of yourself and distract you with endless thoughts. But your heart will lovingly
draw you inwards. To connect with your heart space, put your hands over your heart and take 5 deep breaths into your
heart and ask yourself “What guidance do you have for me today?”. Then, close your eyes and listen.

10) Explore Your Spirituality

Open up to the idea that you are simply a spiritual being having a temporary human experience and dive deeper into this
part of yourself. Begin learning about this part of you with books that open your mind and draw you closer to your soul.
My favourite spiritual authors are Gabrielle Bernstein, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Eckhart Tolle Abraham-
Hicks, Neale Donald Walsh and Sanaya Roman 

11) Get in to Nature

And don’t just be in nature, but fully feel nature. Take your shoes off and get your toes amongst grass or sand. Get in the
water. Run in the rain. Use all your senses to touch the plants and trees around you. Get completely lost in a sunset. Do it
all in silence and pay attention to how you feel. Immerse yourself in the full experience of what surrounds you and
breathe it all in.

12) Listen (Lovingly) To Your Discomfort

Connecting with yourself is not just about listening to your desires, but also listening your discomfort. Your
uncomfortable emotions have messages for you. Listen to them. Find the courage to dive into uncomfortable feelings,
face your fears and uncover you murky bits. When hurt arises, feel it. Let tears flow and use your breath to support you
to move through whatever arises.

13) Get In Touch With Your Body

A beautiful way to begin this is to practise doing daily body scans. Close your eyes and begin at your feet, placing all
your attention there. Then, move your awareness up through your legs, hips, belly, chest, shoulders, arms, head etc..
Don’t rush this. Eat each point, stop and place all your attention on that part of your body. Ask “ How does this part of
my body feel today?” “It is tight or relaxed, heavy or light, free or constricted, at ease or uncomfortable? ” This simple
practise will bring you into much deeper connection with your body and yourself.

14) Nourish Yourself with the Good Stuff

When we feel nourished, supported and physically vibrant we naturally feel more calm and supported. Simple things like
a good night’s sleep, lots of fresh air, several litres of water and lots of leafy greens can work wonders in shifting you out
of a negative funk and clearing your head. See these practices as a form of self-love and show a deep respect for your
body as being the sacred home that is carrying you through this lifetime. 

15) Revel In Your Own Company

Make time for just you and you, and allow yourself to do whatever you want with that time. Make it a time free from
phone, social media, tv and computers. Just be with yourself and spend sacred, special and loving time with you. If
possible allow yourself to just sit and be and feel the intimacy of your own company. You can also use this time to
pamper and treat yourself or dive into something you love to do.

16) Let Your Body’s Wisdom Guide You

Your body is constantly communicating to you through it’s sensations and your feeling. When something is right for you
your body may soften, relax and feel lighter. If something isn’t right you may notice your body contract, tighten or feel
heavy. Ask yourself with each decision “How does this feel?” and tune into your body to receive your answer.

17) Create A Sacred Space

Set up a space for yourself somewhere in your home that feels special and sacred to you. A space, just for you. It may
have a sheepskin rug, pillows or your favourite rug for you to sit on. Fill it with candles, crystals, oracle cards, a vision
board, your favourite trinkets, books, affirmations, a journal. Make a little ritual out of visiting this space each day to sit
and be with yourself in stillness and quietness.

18) Create A Meditation Practise

I began meditating by setting a timer for 5 minutes and that was all! Learning how to meditate will be your most
powerful self-connection practise. Now I can sit for an hour. You don’t have to sit in silence. Try out my meditation
album if you want some guidance and music to accompany you.

19) Explore The Depths Of You

Begin a journaling practise where each day you write about your thoughts and feelings and explore the inner depths of
yourself. You may begin this practise each day just writing about what is going on in your mind. This practise can also
be used to explore what you feel is holding you back, your fears, your limiting beliefs, or the challenges you are facing.
You may also want to explore your dreams, desires, hopes, wishes and what you truly want for yourself. Perhaps you
want to go even deeper by ponder big life questions like “Why am I here?” and “What is my purpose?” and seeing what
answers flow onto the page.

20) Tune Your Eyes To Your Beauty

Each time you look in the mirror see if you can find one thing about yourself that you love or can appreciate as being
something that makes you unique, special and beautiful. Make it your practise to acknowledge your beauty and
compliment something about yourself each time you look in a mirror. When that negative voice arises, stop it in it’s
tracks and replace it with something loving.

21) Treat And Pamper Yourself

What makes you feel super special and totally pampered? Be attentive to yourself and focus in on the small details. Get a
manicure, give yourself a coconut oil massage, or book in for a facial. Buy yourself something beautiful, or expensive.
Treat yourself to something you really love. Put fresh flowers in your home and light your favourite smelling candle.
Whatever makes you feel luxurious, decadent and pampered is a way of showing love to yourself.
 
FIND
IDENTIFY
RELATIONSHIP WITH
EXPLORE
BELIVE IN
TREAT YOURSELF
REINVENTED
ATTENTIVE TO
BUY
CHALLENGED
 ME, MYSELF and I (only me, me alone, me without companionship)
Me is the physical aspects.
Myself is the soulful aspects.
I is the spiritual aspects.
All three combined is the trinity and essence of one entity, the divine human spirit. We are 3
dimensional beings.

1. explore your spirituality (prayer, read Bible, church, read books, listen music, etc.)

2. social life (a strong, deep, or close association or acquaintance between two or more people that may
range in duration from brief to enduring. This association may be based on inference, love, solidarity,
regular business interactions, or some other type of social commitment. Interpersonal relationships are
formed in the context of social, cultural and other influences. The context can vary from family or kinship
relations, friendship, marriage, relations with associates, work, clubs, neighborhoods, and places of
worship. They may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement, and are the basis of social groups
and society as a whole.)

3. financial improvement

4. love yourself (don’t be a woman that needs a man...)

5. in touch with your body

6. emotional life
Where you fall on the spectrum of each, he says, determines how you will feel, think and react.
Resilience: How slowly or quickly you recover from adversity, determined by signals between the prefront al
cortex and the amygdala.
Outlook: How long you are able to sustain positive emotion, based on levels of
activity in the ventral striatum, a region of the brain critical for generating a sense of reward.
Social Intuition: How adept you are at picking up social signals from the people around you, shaped by the
interplay between the amygdala and fusiform regions.
Self-Awareness: How well you perceive physical signals that reflect your emotions, determined by the
insula’s ability to interpret signals from the visceral organs.
Sensitivity to Context: How good you are at regulating your emotional responses depending on the context
you find yourself in, driven by activity levels in the hippocampus.
Attention: How sharp and clear your focus is, regulated by the prefrontal cortex.

7. ward yourself (be attentive to yourself and focus in on the small details. Get a manicure, give yourself a
coconut oil massage, or book in for a facial. Buy yourself something beautiful, or expensive. Treat
yourself to something you really love. Put fresh flowers in your home, whatever makes you feel
luxurious, decadent and pampered is a way of showing love to yourself. Mini shopping spree, a spa day
and delicious meals without the guilt (and even dessert first if that’s what feels right). We all need a little
“me time” every once in a while, so choose activities that relax and debug you, and do it solo so you can
realize what activities are good for your soul.

8. get intimate

9. practice self-talk
(You make it your mission to end each night with a smile on your face, and that all starts with positive self-
talk. You spend a few moments each morning and night (and at various times throughout your day) repeating
positive affirmations in the mirror, such as “I love you,” “You are smart and wonderful,” “You are beautiful
and strong.” Whatever motivation you need for that given day, you give yourself that pep talk to set your
mind right before facing the world. If you do not practice this already, start now! You will be surprised at how
these words will become true over time, as your mind begins to believe and accept your mantras as your new
reality.)
10. intelect empowerment: feeding the mind
(Reading, memory, comprehension, problem-solving, evaluation, and creativity, writing, listening music,
etc)

11. professional plan (follow your steps for successful carreer planning)

12. get in to Nature

And don’t just be in nature, but fully feel nature. Take your shoes off and get your toes amongst grass or sand. Get in the
water. Run in the rain. Use all your senses to touch the plants and trees around you. Get completely lost in a sunset. Do it
all in silence and pay attention to how you feel. Immerse yourself in the full experience of what surrounds you and
breathe it all in.