' Malaysia's Weird Tales'

A very good morning we bid to the

Honourable judges, ladies and gentlemen
Let us entertain you with our Weird, yet hilarious tales
About Malaysians

Idiosyncrasies of Malaysians
Huh? What's that?
Little personal behaviours or nature
Peculiar to Malaysians

Funny but it's true

That these observations we make
Can be about you
Malaysians by large ooze charm and care
Sensitive and mature
We compromise
And we share

But why is it Malaysians, when behind the wheels

Mutate into monsters!
Rude ... Selfish ... Dangerous ...
Racing taxis, noisy cars
Rushing here, rushing there
Rushing here and everywhere!

Immature road bullies

Who smash windscreens and bones
While hooting honking drivers Impatiently groan
BEEP! BEEP!
Eh! I signalled what!
Signal your own side lah! My car my space what!
Sshhhhh !!!!!
Oh, dear! Is this KL?
Look at how they speak!

No wonder, KL is the third rudest city in the world

We have drivers
Who turn highways into Formula One track
Hey, guys! I am better than Michael Schumacher!
Fleeting motorcyclist
Who zig zag their way to death
Vroom ~ ~ Vroom ~ ~
Motorists suddenly slow down
Necks outstretch
Eyes affixed
ACCIDENT ~ ~ ACCIDENT ~ ~
Help me! Help!
Eh, somebody call the ambulance!
Wah, accident ah? Lemme take a selfie

Malaysians are somewhat unclear

About what goes into where
A peep into public toilets
Mummy, mummy! I think I'm gonna poop!
Do you want me to sit or stand on the toilet seat?
No, no, darling! At home you seat, outside you stand!
AAHHHHH!!!! Public toilets.. your worst nightmare

Malaysians
We just love to eat
Uummm ... We munch and crunch, Chomp and chew
Through a feast of foood
Check out the delicacies!
We have The spiciest, The sweetest, Most sour And most bitter of food
Nasi lemak , Chappati, Sizzling, steak, Char kuey teow ,Roti canai, Satay,
High teas and buffet galores, Bring kiasus to the fore
Piling their plates with soooo much food

There's a time in the year

Where Malaysians behave a little queer
Yesss! The sales are here!
Megasales up to 30, 50, 70 percent of discounts (~ Gasp ~)
Buy 2 get 1 free! Shop 'til you drop!
Run out of money? Not to worry!
We have American Express, Visa Card, Master card
One for every occasion!
Spend, spend, spend
Bills, bills, bills
Enjoy now, Regret later

Having heard our view

Won't you say
Malaysians are Peculiar in their nature and behaviour?
However
These idiosyncrasies
For better or worse
In sickness and in health
Oi, no marriage ceremony lah!
Oops!
Mark us as Malaysians
As we stamp our identity
That makes us Malaysians Malaysian!