Question

Except for the birthing process and breastfeeding, do you think that a mother's position as a

caregiver of an infant or child is biologically different from that of a father? Why? What

examples can you provide that support your answer?

Answer

For a very long time, there have been discussions on whether the mother and father

have different bonds between their children. I believe that there is a special bond created

between the mother and her child that a father cannot recreate. I feel like the biological

process has a big effect on what happens to the relationship between mother and child after

the child has been born. In all honesty, if the father also got to spend 9 months (give or take)

harboring and creating a child inside of them they could experience this bond as well, but

unfortunately for men, it is’t biologically possible. Any bond between parent and child may

be strong, however, there is just a bond between mom and baby that you cannot recreate with

a father.

I have a sister whose father left her and my mom behind for another woman in

another country as opposed to creating a safe space and having a huge impact in her life.

Fortunately, my dad was courageous enough to take her in and adopt her as his own child.

Even though he didn’t contribute half of his DNA to her, our bond is the same strength. I

can’t speak about how the mother’s relationship is different because we have the same

mother so our experiences are relatively the same. So much of the reasoning behind me
believing the mother’s bond is stronger is due to my own personal experiences. This is not to

say that a father’s position in a child’s life is negligible,

Family members may be able to notice a child thriving if both the mother and father

are actively present in their life; of course you have to take into account the quality of the

parenting, “The same is true for parental care: Some mothers and fathers are wonderful,

some not” (Berger, p. 148, 2019). If the parents decide they are not able to help this bundle

of cells form into a grown, healthy human being and take care of them as they need to be

cared for, they should opt for other options than being their parent(s). This can be adoption,

abortion, or taking life by the horns and trying to improve their parenting skills with

parenting classes or asking for help from an experienced parent. Making sure they feel more

comfortable as a parent could greatly improve the quality of life for both the parent and the

child. I’m sure many parents have gone out into the world trying to make their experience

better for their child and they end up in a much more positive situation; capable of giving the

child the life they hoped they could.

Parenting should always be a fifty-fifty effort between the two parents on giving care to the

child along with school or even playing to grow. Spending time together may be one of the

simplest but best ways to connect as a parent and child, “contemporary fathers often play

with their infants,” (Berger, p. 152, 2019) in addition to grandparents, uncles, aunts, daycare

workers or the mother of the child. Unfortunately, the daycare workers do not get to be the

close biological figure of the child’s life, but at the end of the day, the mother’s bond will

most likely be the strongest and carry so much significance in the child’s life. This is

strongly due to the mother likely being more maternal out of habit and of course, being so
close with the child before it’s even born. Fathers may have the opportunity to be close with

their childre however that may not mean their relationship is any stronger. The father may

want nothing but the best for their child and care deeply about them, but at the end of the day

his childcare starts at birth compared to the mother’s childcare starting at conception.

Reference

Berger, K. S. (2019). Invitation to the life span (4th ed.). New York, NY: Worth Publishers.

*All names used in this paper are used with permission from each individual.