A Woman Alone: Catharine Maria Sedgwick's Spinsterhood in Nineteenth-Century America

Author(s): Mary Kelley

Source: The New England Quarterly, Vol. 51, No. 2 (Jun., 1978), pp. 209-225
Published by: The New England Quarterly, Inc.
Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/364307 .
Accessed: 13/01/2015 06:24

Your use of the JSTOR archive indicates your acceptance of the Terms & Conditions of Use, available at .
http://www.jstor.org/page/info/about/policies/terms.jsp

.
JSTOR is a not-for-profit service that helps scholars, researchers, and students discover, use, and build upon a wide range of
content in a trusted digital archive. We use information technology and tools to increase productivity and facilitate new forms
of scholarship. For more information about JSTOR, please contact support@jstor.org.

The New England Quarterly, Inc. is collaborating with JSTOR to digitize, preserve and extend access to The
New England Quarterly.

http://www.jstor.org

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
 A WOMAN ALONE: CATHARINE MARIA
SEDGWICK'S SPINSTERHOOD IN
NINETEENTH-CENTURY AMERICA
MARY KELLEY*

life of CatharineMaria Sedgwickwas betwixtand

THE
between.Unmarried,shejoined othernineteenth-century
sentimentalists whose novels focusedupon woman and the
home, lauding woman's distinctiveand superiornature as
ideallysuitedforthe exactingyetgratifying rolesof wifeand
mother.In largepart,Sedgwickdeterminedherowndeviation
fromthe role she prescribedby rejectingseveralproposalsof
marriage,therebyassuringforherselfthestatusof a statistical
oddityduringa centuryin whichnine out of tenwomenchose
to marry.Sedgwick'sfiction,however,reinforcedthe belief
thatwomancould achieveher greatestfulfillment withinthe
familyas an example of selflessness for husband and child.
Woman,she invariablyadded,could also benefitthe commu-
nity beyond her home, albeit indirectly,Functioningas a
divinelyappointedreformer withinthe confinesof domestic-
ity,she alone could inculcatethe attitudesnecessaryforthe
regeneration of an increasinglycrass,competitive,and ma-
terialisticsociety.In concertwithothersentimentalists, Sedg-
wickglorifiedthehome as a moralrespository in an immoral
society,as a bastionof stabilityin a changing,fragmentary
world.Seen as a mini-Eden,the home servedas both a haven
fromsocietyand an incubatorof women and men capa-
* I wish to thank the Massachusetts Historical
Society for allowing me to
utilize the various collections concerning Sedgwick and her relatives upon
which this essay is based. I am gratefulto Stow Persons for his incisive com-
mentaryon an earlier versionof the essay.Linda K. Kerberprovided additional
help and I thank her as well. I received invaluable aid in the preparation of
this essay through two Faculty Research Awards from the Research Founda-
tion of the City Universityof New York. An earlier version was presented at
the meeting of the History of Education Society sponsored by the Radcliffe
Instituteand Harvard UniversityGraduate School of Education, Oct. 24, 1976.

209

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
210o THE NEW ENGLAND QUARTERLY
ble of reforminga social order permeatedby a destructive
individualism.'
As a spinster,Sedgwickfeltmorecompelledthanthe other
sentimentalists to addressherselfto the fate of the woman
alone. Certainly,the prescriptions concerningwifehoodand
motherhooddominateher fiction,but sprinkledthroughout
hernovelsand storiesare statements thataffirm thelegitimacy
of theunmarriedwoman'sstatusand demandthatshe be ac-
corded respectas an importantcontributorto her society.
Sedgwickdeploredthatthespinsterwas considereda pitiable,
at timeslaughable,anomalyin nineteenth-century American
She
society. arguedconvincingly that thisbias barredspinster
and societyalike fromrecognizingthattheunmarriedwoman
could also achievea reasonablemeasureofsatisfaction, and aid
in social reformation. The callingbequeathed to the woman
alone was easy to comprehendif more difficult to achieve:
spinsters should adopt thesame role as wivesand mothers in a
spherebeyond the nuclear family.
Sedgwickagreed that "God has appointed marriage"for
woman,thatwoman is "designed"forit, and thatit "is the
greatcircumstance" ofherlife.2She also glorifiedmarriageas
"thefirst and greatestofthese,thecentralpoint,whenceall the
relationsof liferadiate,and thesourceof all politicaland so-
cial virtue."3But,at thesametime,she insistedthat"marriage
is not essentialto the contentment, the dignity,or the happi-
nessofwoman."4Convincedthatsociety'sdemeaningperspec-
1 This essay stems from a manuscript tentativelytitled "Private Conflict
Made Public: Women Writing for Women in Nineteenth-CenturyAmerica."
The manuscriptfocusesupon the twelvemost prominentsentimentalistsof the
century and delineates their perspective on woman's role and status. It is
based upon the novels and short stories and the letters,diaries, and journals
of the followingsentimentalists:Maria Cummins, Caroline Howard Gilman,
Caroline Lee Hentz, Mary J.Holmes, Maria McIntosh,Sarah Parton, Catharine
Maria Sedgwick,E. D. E. N. Southworth,Harriet Beecher Stowe, Mary Virginia
Terhune, Susan Warner, and Augusta Evans Wilson.
2 Catharine Maria Sedgwick, Means and Ends, or Self Training (Boston,
1839), 17.
3 Catharine Maria Sedgwick,Married or Single? (New York, 1857),UI,81.
4 Catharine Maria Sedgwick,Hope Leslie: or, Early Times in Massachusetts

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
 A WOMAN ALONE 211

tiveon spinsterhood wronglypressuredtoo manywomeninto

unsatisfying, unhappymarriages, she soughtto make an alter-
native patternof behavioracceptable.Less consciously,but
just as clearly,she attemptedto rationalizeand legitimateher
own choice.She ridiculedas "miserablecant" thenotionthat
womancould live onlyin a stateof matrimony. Instead,she
said, "we believe she has an independentpowerto shape her
own course,and to forceherseparatesovereignway."5Having
establishedher autonomy,the singlewomancould findsatis-
"
factionas a "'sister,friend,and benefactor.'
Sedgwick'spersonalpapersrevealthe mannerin whichshe
came to termswiththeideals professedin her fictionand the
realitiesof her own existence.Her life providesa glimpseof
thewriterpromotingthe ideal ofwomanas wifeand mother,
while as an unmarriedwomandesiringto play thoseroles in
relationshipto whatmightbe termedsurrogatehusbandsand
surrogatechildren.Sedgwickbelieved that the role of wife-
hood and motherhoodwas the mostappropriateforwoman,
and yetshewasequallyadamantin herrefusalto adoptlegally
thatroleforherself.She wantedto feeltheembraceoffamilial
intimacywithoutyieldingher totalself.She wantedintimacy
and autonomy.The adoptionofsurrogates providedthemeans
to achieve both goals. Sedgwick'spapers provide an oppor-
tunityto studythe interactionbetweenprescriptionand be-
havior. Sedgwickbecomes a case studyin the mannerand
extentto whichsocial prescriptionis internalizedand affects

(New York, 1842/1827),II, 260. The original publication date is noted following
the virgule.
5 Catharine Maria Sedgwick,Married or Single? (New York, 1857),I,
vi-
6 Married or Single?,11,81. For the perspectiveof one of Sedgwick'sEnglish
contemporaries,see Elaine Showalter, "Dinah Mulock Craik and the Tactics
of Sentiment,"Feminist Studies (1975), 5-23. Craik, a member of the second
generation of Victorian female novelists,joined Sedgwick in her defense of
spinsterhoodas a legitimatealternativeforwomen. But, Craik's advice to those
who remained single differedfromSedgwick's.Urging that the spinsterbecome
self-dependent,she stressedthe developmentof a completelyautonomous per-
sonality,rather than the adoption, albeit tangentially,of the role of wife and
mother.

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
212 THE NEW ENGLAND QUARTERLY
individualbehavior.Her letters,diaries,and journals,along
withthecorrespondence ofthoseshechoseas surrogates, docu-
menttheimpactoffirmly held convictionsupon actions.7
The choice thatSedgwickmade was clearlyinfluencedby
her observationof unsatisfactory marriages.Writingto her
niece and namesake,Kate SedgwickMinot,she lamented,"So
manyI have loved have made shipwreckof happinessin mar-
riageor have foundit a drearyjoylessconditionwhereaffec-
tionhas died ofstarvation,so manyhave been blightedby in-
curable and bittersorrows."8Her opinion stemmedmainly
fromherobservationofthemarriagesofherrelatives,friends,
and acquaintances.Havingbeen askedto writean autobiogra-
phyforKate's daughter,Alice, Sedgwickrecordedin her un-
published memoirsthat the marriageof her sisterFrances
"was not a congenialone-she enduredmuchheroically."'Of
her othersister,she wrotethatEliza "had, I think,a rather
hardlifeof it-indifferenthealthand thepainfuldrudgeryof
bearing and nurturing twelve children."10Her observations
notwithstanding, Sedgwick refusedto abandon the prescrip-
tions enunciatedin her fiction.Parallelingthese sentiments
of her novels,she confided,"I certainlythinka happy mar-
riage the happiestconditionof human life." And yetin that
7 The followingcollections have been consulted in the preparation of this
essay: Catharine Maria Sedgwick's letters,diaries, and journals are deposited
with the Massachusetts Historical Society,Boston, Massachusetts.The major
body of her papers is catalogued with the Catharine Maria Sedgwick Papers.
Some of her correspondencewith relativesis found in an uncatalogued collec-
tion labeled Sedgwick Papers (Minot), and a few lettersto acquaintances are
catalogued under Miscellany. The lettersof Robert and Charles Sedgwick to
their sister,Catharine, are found in the uncatalogued collection labeled Sedg-
wick Papers (Minot). The lettersof Kate Sedgwick Minot to her aunt, Catha-
rine, are also found in the uncatalogued collection labeled Sedgwick Papers
(Minot).
8 Catharine Maria Sedgwickto Kate Sedgwick Minot, Nov. 28, 1847, Catha-
rine Maria Sedgwick Papers, MassachusettsHistorical Society,Boston, Massa-
chusetts(hereafterreferredto as MHS).
9 Catharine Maria Sedgwick, "Notebook of Memories of Her Life, dated
1853," 116. Catharine Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.
10 Catharine Maria Sedgwick, "Notebook of Memories of Her Life, dated
1853," 136. Catharine Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
 A WOMAN ALONE 213

same journal entryshe admittedthat"it is the high opinion

of itscapabilitieswhichhas-perhapskeptme fromadventur-
ing in it."11 Written little more than a decade before her
death,thisentrycould also be judged as a finalcommentary on
herlife.
Sedgwickrecognizedthat the ideal recommendedin her
fictionwasnot paralleledin reality.But,at thesame time,she
internalizedtheprescription to the degreethatshe needed to
play the role deemed appropriateforwoman.In the end, she
effectivelycompromised.If,as she implied,she did not marry
because she doubted thatthe actual would accord with the
ideal, she did in fact"adventure"in themaritalrealmin her
relationships withherbrothersand theirchildren.Indeed her
brothersservedforher as surrogatehusbands,and theirsons
and daughtersas surrogatechildren.They wereclearlysubsti-
tutes.Sedgwickherselfadmittedthat"theaffection thatothers
give to husbandsand childrenI have given to mybrothers."
She also stressedthatherswas an unusual positionand herde-
votionequallyunusual: "Few understandthedependenceand
intensity ofmylove forthem."12
Sustainingwhatshe termeda "boarding-round life,"Sedg-
wickremainedat thefamily'shomein Stockbridge, Massachu-
settsforvaryingperiodsoftimebut spentthewinterswithher
brother,Robert,and hisfamilyin New YorkCity,and mostof
therestoftheyearwithherbrother,Charles,and hisfamilyin
Lenox, Massachusetts.13 She expressedhercompleteidentifica-
tion withher brothers'lives when she wroteto Robert that,
"my brothers'concernsare so entirelymine that the terms
mineand thineare to mysensesynonymous."14Her identifica-
11Catharine Maria Sedgwick,Journal, 1849-1854,undated entry,Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.
12 Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Louisa Minot,
Sept., 1841, Sedgwick Papers
(Minot), MHS.
13 Catharine Maria Sedgwickto Kate
SedgwickMinot, Oct. 8, 1848,Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.
14 Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Robert Sedgwick,
July 21, 1826, Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
214 THE NEW ENGLAND QUARTERLY
tion and relationshipswith her brothers,firstwith Robert,
thenCharles,enabled her to contemplatespinsterhoodwith
equanimityand, in fact,influencedher in thatdirection.She
was "satisfied,"she told Robert,that she could "never love
anybodybetterthanmyBrothers";no one else could everbe
"theirequal in worthand attraction."'5Their presenceand
willingnessto serveas surrogatehusbandsgave Sedgwickan
option unavailableto mostwomen.She could receivethe af-
fectionand supportpromisedbytheheroesin herfictionwith-
out committing herselftothestatusofan actualwife.
By thetimeSedgwickhad reachedtheage at whichshe be-
gan to considersuitors,she had developeda close relationship
withRobert.Only twenty-one, but alreadyenvisioninghimas
her permanentsourceforsupportand guidance,she confided
to him thatshe found theirseparationstrying:"Time and
space,I findthe inveterateenemiesof myhappinessand like
themodestLover whenI thinkofyou,I could wishtheman-
nihilatedwithall myheart."' Little more thana yearlater,
shedirecteda letter"to one who I love to theutmostextentof
mycapacity."Her devotionwas thatwhich"bindsmysoul to
yoursand directsits mostardentaspirationto an immortal
union."" The intensityof Sedgwick'sattachmentto Robert
increasedafterthe death of theirfatherin 1813. Writingto
him less thansix monthslater,she confessed,"I do love you,
with a love surpassingthat of an ordinarywoman.""' Her
affectionforRobertand dependenceupon him continuedto
governherlifeforthenextdecade.No othersisterand brother
had "more ample experienceof the purityof love, and the
sweetexchangesof offices of kindnessthatbind heartsindis-
15Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Robert Sedgwick,Aug. 15, 1813, Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.
le Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Robert Sedgwick, May 9, 1811, Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.
17 Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Robert Sedgwick,July 23, 1812, Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.
1s Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Robert Sedgwick,
July 2, 1813, Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
 A WOMAN ALONE 215

solublytogether.""'9Robertwas "as much a partof me as the

lifebloodthatflowsthro'myheart."20
Sedgwick'sdevotionwas fullyreciprocated.Justas she sub-
stitutedRobertfora husband,he perceivedher as his surro-
gate for a mate. His expressionsof affectionwere equally
intense,his need forherequally strong.Yet therewerediffer-
ences in theirattitudesthat reflectedthe internalizationof
rolesfoundin thesentimentalists' fiction.Like theheroinesin
her novelsand stories,Sedgwickrelied upon Robert to pro-
vide herwiththeprivilegesaccordeda wife.He offeredher a
home at least part of the year; his supportwas alwaysavail-
able. In turn,Robert perceivedSedgwickas spirituallyand
morallysuperior.In familiarpaeans oftenvoicedbyadmiring
malesin herfiction, he assuredhis sisterthatshewas "pure by
natureand habit." To him, Sedgwickwas fulfillingthe role
prescribedforthenineteenth-century woman: "You are now
engagedin thebestofall employments; conferringhappiness
on thosewho love you and whomyou love."21 Robertalso re-
lied upon heras a model forbehavior.She raisedhim "above
mycommonelevation,"taughthimthat"mynatureis ofmore
than noble originand aspiresto a heightabove the Stars."22
Her "affection[had] an irresistiblepowerto improveand to
elevate-to liftabove love attachments-toseparatefromun-
worthyassociations-tocheerme when I am sad-to rouseme
whenI am inefficient."23 In short,Robertdeclared,"mydear
Kate I knownot how I could live withoutyou."24
19 Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Robert Sedgwick,June 4, 1814, Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.
20 Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Robert Sedgwick,Nov. 31, 1818, Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.
21 Robert
Sedgwickto Catharine Maria Sedgwick,March 15, 1813, Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.
22 Robert Sedgwick to Catharine Maria Sedgwick, Nov. 22, 1813, Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.
23 Robert
Sedgwickto Catharine Maria Sedgwick,March 28, 1816, Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.
24 Robert Sedgwick to Catharine Maria Sedgwick, Nov. 22, 1813, Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
216 THE NEW ENGLAND QUARTERLY
Given the natureof theirattachment, it is not surprising
thatthe prospectof Robert'smarriagecreateda crisis.Sedg-
wick'slettersare markedby ruminationsabout the probable
changein her brother'sstatusand its impactupon theirrela-
tionship.Juxtaposedagainstscatteredcommentsindicating
acceptance,is a largerbodyof evidenceindicatingthatSedg-
wick found the prospect disheartening,even frightening.
Readily acknowledgingthat "wheneveryou marry,my dear
Brother,I shallhavea good deal to suffer,"she sensedthatshe
would have to behave somewhatdifferently toward him:
"Some of thesetendrilsthathave hung around you mustbe
strickenand mustperish."25 She dreadeda diminutionor even
loss of his affection.
Robert,afterall, was the one she "loved
betterthan any other."26 She had alreadycommitted"every-
thing I can give you,my prayers,my thoughts,my heart."27
When he did give "to anothera higherplace," she demanded
that his devotion to a wife not detractfromhis love for
her: "You may love anotherbetter-youmust not love me
less."28Robertapparentlyreassuredher thathis commitment
was permanent.Subsequentletterscontain theirformerex-
changesofaffection. The intensitywithwhichtheyare voiced
remainedunaffected.
When twoyearsafterSedgwickhad made herdemand,Rob-
ertbecameengaged,whathad onlybeen a likelihoodwas now
a reality.Her demand notwithstanding, she recognizedthat
"we cannot walk so
together closeas we have done." Her sense
of loss and griefwas so overwhelming thatshe was unable to
articulateher emotions,acknowledgingthat she had lately
"seemedcold." But herattitude,at leastin herown mind,was
25 Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Robert Sedgwick,Oct., 1821,
Sedgwick Pa-
pers (Minot), MHS.
26 Catharine Maria Sedgwickto Robert Sedgwick,March 24,
1819,Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.
27 Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Robert Sedgwick,Feb. 22
[1818], Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.
28 Catharine Maria Sedgwickto Robert Sedgwick,March 24, 1819,Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
 A WOMAN ALONE 217

justified:"No one can everknowall thatI have,and mustfeel,

becauseno one haseverfeltthesheltering love,thetenderness,
the friendshipthatleftme nothingto desire."29Robert tried
to reassureher.He arguedthatthecommitment to his fiancee
"insteadof contracting theheart... givesnew strengthto all
its best affections."'' His fulfillmentof that commitmentin
marriagewouldmakeno difference in hisdevotion:"My heart
never turnedtowardsyou or beamed upon you with more
pure-faithful-ardent-andconfidingaffectionthan at this
moment."Sedgwick,however,remainedunconvinced.The
recognitionthat his marriagehad irrevocablytransformed
theirinvolvementconstitutedher immediateresponse;with-
drawalwas thenextand morepermanentresponse.Her grief
spent,she desperatelytried to lessen her dependenceupon
him. Noticingthechangeat the timeof his marriage,Robert
complainedthatshe no longerspokein "thatlanguageof the
heart,by whichyou are accustomedso faithfully to interpret
itsemotions."3'Nearlya yearpassedbeforeSedgwickfeltsuffi-
cientlydetachedto admit that her reticencewas part of an
attemptto makehis presenceand profession of affection,"less
necessary."32
Ultimately,Sedgwickaccomplishedher objective,and her
lesseneddependencechangedtheirrelationshipsignificantly.
An attachmentof sortsobviouslyremainedbecause she con-
tinuedto spendher winterswithhim and his familyin New
York, and journeyed with them to Europe for eighteen
months.But the sense of intimacy,the intenseemotionex-
pressedin theirletterspriorto Robert'smarriagedisappears
fromtheircorrespondence. Instead,thevacuumin Sedgwick's
29Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Robert Sedgwick, Dec., 1821, Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.
30 Robert Sedgwick to Catharine Maria Sedgwick, Feb. 19, 1822, Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.
31Robert Sedgwick to Catharine Maria Sedgwick, Aug. 9, 1822, Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.
32 Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Robert Sedgwick, June 11, 1823, Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
218 THE NEW ENGLAND QUARTERLY
lifewas filledduringthemid-182o'sby a developingintimacy
withherbrotherCharles.Sedgwick'srelationshipwithhim is
documentedin a correspondencethat continuedfor nearly
half a century.She thoughtof Charles as "more than [a]
brother."33 He, in turn,endeavoredto "make myhouse,my-
self-my as conduciveto yourhappinessas it is possibleit
all
shouldbe."34
Sedgwick'srelationshipwith Charles followeda familiar
pattern.As she had with Robert,she came to relyupon his
affectionand guidance.The emotionexpressedwas as intense,
the dependenceas obvious. Writingabout her need forhis
devotion,Sedgwickconfessedto Charles that "I am perhaps
too dependentupon youraffection, and watcheveryindica-
tion of it as a parentwatchesthe pulse of a child on whose
existencehis life depends."35But, afterall, what choice did
shehave?How else could shehave acted?Charleshad replaced
Robertas thecenterofherexistence:"I knownothingoflove
-of memory-ofhope-of which you are not an essential
part."36Charles'sattitudeparalleledthatof Robert.His devo-
tion equaled Robert's,and his idealizationof theirsisterwas
similar.He wroteto his brotherthat"I shouldalmostdie if it
werenotforour dearsister.She is a ministering spirit,breath-
ing the air of heaven upon us."37Like Robert before him,he
perceivedSedgwickas his model forbehaviorand himselfas
herdutifulstudent.Writingtoherabout "thepoweryouhave
overothers,"he said thatshe could "turndarknessinto light
-and perplexityinto peace, if not joy."38He confidedto his
s3 Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Charles Sedgwick,Feb. 2, 1829, Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.
34 Charles Sedgwick to Catharine Maria Sedgwick,April 2, 1848, Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.
35 Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Charles Sedgwick [winter],1825, Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.
s6 Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Charles Sedgwick,Feb. 2, 1829, Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.
37 Charles Sedgwick to Robert Sedgwick,July 18, 1823, printed in Letters
fromCharles Sedgwickto his Family and Friends (Boston, 1870),42.
38 Charles Sedgwick to Catharine Maria Sedgwick,Dec. io, 1832, Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
 A WOMAN ALONE 219
ownson thedebthe owed her: "To mysisterI owe everything
thatman can owe to a humancreature.""3
That Sedgwickwas able to acceptCharles'smaritalattach-
mentwithlittlereservation and maintaina strongaffectionfor
all themembersofhis family,was due in partto the factthat
Charleshad marriedearlierand alreadypossesseda wifeand
childrenbeforeshe had made him her secondsurrogatehus-
band. Her stronger senseofsecuritywas also bolsteredbycon-
tinued reassurances.It was certain,Charles said, that they
would love "till death,and thatwe hope to live and love for-
ever."40 Theirs was a bond that linked them "togetherin-
separablyand forever."4"To a largeextent,Sedgwickwas able
to look upon Charlesas her mate and his familyas her own.
The prospectofhis deathterrified her: "When I thinkof the
possibilityof livingin theworldwithoutyou Charlesmysoul
loses all its courage." Yet in the same lettershe wrotethat
should he die, she would assume the responsibilityfor the
family.His wife,Elizabeth,hischildren,and "I would castour
lot togetherand mymeans and efforts should be devotedto
them."Elizabethhad earnedSedgwick'sdevotionnotonlybe-
causeshewas Charles'swife,but becauseshehad been "a most
faithfuland affectionate sister."Whetherconsciouslyor un-
consciously,Sedgwickignoredanotherunderlyingreasonfor
her fondnessforher sister-in-law: Elizabethdid not interfere
in therelationshipbetweenbrotherand sister.As forthechil-
dren,Sedgwickwrote,"You knowI love themas if theywere
partofmyown bodyand soul."42A secureand generousEliza-
beth also allowed Sedgwickto help in the rearingof her
children.
WiththedeathofCharles,Sedgwicklosthersecondand last
39 Charles Sedgwick to his son Charles, May 7, 1839,printed in Lettersfrom
Charles Sedgwickto his Family and Friends (Boston, 1870),117.
40oCharles Sedgwickto Catharine Maria Sedgwick,March 16, 1846,Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.
41 Charles Sedgwick to Catharine Maria Sedgwick, May 4, 1834, Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.
42 Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Charles Sedgwick,Feb. 24, 1826, Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
220 THE NEW ENGLAND QUARTERLY
husband.Fifteenyearsearliershehad caredforRobertduring
the long,painfulillnessthatprecededhis death. In the end,
her and Robert'sroles had been reversed,withRobert need-
ingthecareand supporthe had previouslyprovidedher: "Re-
versingwhatwas our naturalrelationwe weredescendingthe
hill he leaningon me so thatto everyotherfeelingwas added
that most tenderone that comes fromnursing,supporting,
watching."43Sedgwickalso cared forCharlesduringthe last
six monthsof his life.The day afterhe died, she triedto de-
scribeher desolationin a letterto his daughterKate. Having
been withCharlesat thetimeofhis death,shewrote,"It is all
done-my workis all done-with all thesweetand lovingand
kindfacesaroundme thehouse is-oh howvacant-howcold-
thelove ofmylifeis gone."44Her grief,her senseof loss,was
complete.One week latershe wroteagain to Kate, saying,"I
can neverspeak-I hardlydare thinkof what this loss is to
me."45
It was appropriatethatSedgwickwroteto Kate about her
loss,and notsimplybecauseKate was Charles'sdaughter.Dur-
ing the 182o's she had developed an enduring, and maternal
attachmentto Kate. She had foundthe firstof her surrogate
children.Bornin 1821, Kate begancorresponding weeklywith
Sedgwick as an and
adolescent, their correspondencecontin-
ued until Sedgwick'sdeath in 1867. Kate also visitedSedg-
wick frequentlyat the family'shome in Stockbridge, and, at
heraunt'sinsistence,accompaniedher,Robert, and his family
during their long sojourn in Europe. Appropriately,Kate
caredforSedgwickduringthe twoyearsof invalidismpreced-
ing her death,and her aunt died at her home in West Rox-
bury,Massachusetts.
The relationshipbetweenSedgwickand her niece was fa-
43Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Anna Jameson, Sept. 8, 1841, Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.
44 Catharine Maria
Sedgwick to Kate Sedgwick Minot, Aug. 4, 1856, Catha-
rine Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.
45 Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Kate SedgwickMinot, Aug. 11, 1856,Catha-
rine Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
 A WOMAN ALONE 221
cilitatedby the attitudeof Kate's parents.Charlesand Eliza-
bethdeliberatelychoseSedgwick'sname fortheirfirstdaugh-
terand promotedKate's affection forher aunt frominfancy.
Delighted thatthe infant looked like her aunt,"the veryper-
son of all othersfirstand last I shouldwishher to resemble,"
Charles told Sedgwickhis strongestdesirewas that she "do
credittohername."46As soonas theyoungKate begantalking,
Charles proudly informedhis sisterthat the child "never
passesa day withoutsome remembranceor prettysayingof
Aunt Kitty."He also acknowledgedthatboth parents"help
her to this,forit is, and it is to be, one of mychiefcaresthat
shelovesyou,and becomeslike you."47
Sedgwickneeded little encouragement.Just as she had
chosensurrogatehusbandsfrommembersof her family,now
she turnedto theirsonsand daughtersforsurrogatechildren.
Sedgwick'scorrespondence withtheniecesand nephewsindi-
catesthathernamesake,Kate,becameherfirst childin all but
reality.She was devotedto all thechildren,but Kate was "the
firstobjectand stoodalone in the relationshe has bourne."48
In a letterwrittenshortlyafterSedgwickand Kate began cor-
responding,it was apparentthatSedgwickhad alreadydevel-
oped the devotionthatwould characterizetheirrelationship
forthenextthirty-five years.To "mybelovedchild" shespoke
of how she missedher,ofhow her child had "grownfrombe-
ing my pet to be my companionand friend.""49More than
twentyyears later, she repeated these sentimentsto Kate.
Notingthattheyhad adoptedtherolesof motherand daugh-
ter,"had slepttogether, gone out and come home together,"
she emphasizedthather niece "frombeing the object of my
care and affection..,.had come to be mycompanion,friend,
46 Charles Sedgwick to Catharine Maria Sedgwick,Jan. 29, 1821, Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.
47Charles Sedgwick to Catharine Maria Sedgwick [Winter, 1823], Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.
48 Catharine Maria Sedgwickto Louisa Minot,Jan. 16, 1842,SedgwickPapers
(Minot), MHS.
49Catharine Maria Sedgwickto Kate SedgwickMinot, Dec. 9, 1832,Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
222 THE NEW ENGLAND QUARTERLY

counselor,support."Kate,in short,"had been thechildofmy

supremelove."50
Reactingas anymothermight,Sedgwickwas initiallyupset
by the prospectof Kate's marriage.Her firstreactionparal-
leled her responseto Robert'sengagementmore than twenty
yearsearlier.Writingto the motherof Kate's fiance,she ad-
mittedthatshewasas "littlepreparedfor[Kate'sengagement]
as her death,and the wrenchwas little less severe."51Years
latershe explainedher feelingsto Kate's husband.That Kate
had married,ratherthanthehusbandshe had chosen,was the
concern:"It was not the personbut the factdear William."
The marriageitselfcaused a "staggeringsenseof loss and it
was longbeforethehabitsofmylifecould be so changedthat
I could look steadilyand calmly upon it."52Yet Sedgwick chose
a differentpath fromthe one takenafterRobert'smarriage.
She had littlechoice.Charleshad stoodas an alternateto Rob-
ert,but none of the nieces and nephewscould replace Kate.
Sedgwickhad spentmore than twentyyearscultivatingthe
relationshipwithher namesake;meantime,any of the nieces
and nephewsto whom she mighthave transferred her affec-
tionshad grownto maturityand formedotherattachments.
Everyonehad aged. Kate was also eagerto maintainthe rela-
tionship.She sought to assure Sedgwickthat her marriage
would haveno effect upon herattachment to her,warmlywel-
comed her aunt to her home,and sharedher childrenwith
her.
Their relationship remainedunchanged-exceptforthefact
that Kate's marriageenabled her to provide Sedgwickwith
moresurrogatechildren.Kate herselfencouragedtheiradop-
tion: "My childrenseem to me the only coin in whichI can
50Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Kate Sedgwick Minot [1856], Sedgwick Pa-
pers (Minot), MHS.
51 Catharine Maria Sedgwickto Louisa Minot,Jan. 16, 1842, SedgwickPapers
(Minot), MHS.
52Catharine Maria Sedgwick to William Minot, Jr.,May 27, 1848, Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
 A WOMAN ALONE 223
everpayanypartof thedebtof love I owe you."53Kate's hus-
band also wroteSedgwickabout the children'sneed forher:
"You hold theirheartsin yourhand-Your name is constantly
on theirlips; yourpresenceand society,is the brightestlight
thatlifehas evershownto them."'54 Sedgwickwas grateful.She
continuedto referto herselfas Kate's "'virginmother,'"but
shebeganto divideherdevotionbetweenherniece and Kate's
two daughters.55 Posy,Kate's firstchild,"had as faras is pos-
sible... supplied the place of a child to me.""'56
Posy'sdeath
beforeher fifthbirthdaycaused Sedgwickas much pain as it
did hermother.But in Kate'ssecondchild,"dear littleAlice,"
she foundyetanotherchild. Repeatedly,Sedgwickdescribed
Alice as "sweet"and "companionable,"'57and preferred Alice's
"society to thatof many who would be amazed at the profes-
sion."58 She told Alice that she found her absence depressing:
"I cannottellyouhowmuchI have missedyou,everyhourin
the day and night-It is verysad to be withoutyou."59Alice
becameSedgwick'slastchild.She dependedupon herpresence
and only grudgingly acceptedlettersas a substitute.One of
herdiaryentriescapturestheessenceofherattachment:Sedg-
wickrecordedthatshe had received"lettersof 3 sheetsfrom
Kate and herchild-mychild-thankGod."60
53 Kate Sedgwick Minot to Catharine Maria Sedgwick,Sept. 19, 1856, Sedg-
wick Papers (Minot), MHS.
54William Minot, Jr.,to Catharine Maria Sedgwick,July 30, 1856,Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.
55Catharine Maria Sedgwickto Kate SedgwickMinot,Jan. 3, 1843,Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.
56Catharine Maria Sedgwickto Kate SedgwickMinot,July24, 1846,Sedgwick
Papers (Minot), MHS.
57See, for example, Catharine Maria Sedgwick's letters to Kate Sedgwick
Minot dated June 25, 1854; July 2, 1854; and July 28, 1859. Catharine Maria
SedgwickPapers, MHS.
58Catharine Maria Sedgwickto Kate SedgwickMinot,July2, 1854,Catharine
Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.
59Catharine Maria Sedgwickto Alice Minot, Aug. 11, 1856,SedgwickPapers
(Minot), MHS.
60oCatharine Maria Sedgwick,Diaries, 1857-1862,entrydated Dec. 24, 1858,
Catharine Maria SedgwickPapers, MHS.

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
224 THE NEW ENGLAND QUARTERLY

Although Sedgwick came as close as possible to being a wife

and mother through her surrogate husbands and children,
those relationships stopped short of total fulfillment.The
reason can be found in part because theywere substitute hus-
bands and substitute children; her relationships with them
were necessarily incomplete. She was intimately attached to
them,but not as she would have been to her own husband and
children had she been actually married. Although she lived
with all of them for extended periods of time, she did not
maintain a household with them on a day-to-day,year-to-year
basis. She neither had to sustain an emotional and sexual rela-
tionship with a husband nor bear the burden of daily care and
rearing of children. In short, she maintained a position that
offeredher more autonomy than that granted to those who
chose wifehood and motherhood. She could enjoy the psy-
chological benefitsof a familywithout committingherselfto
the attendantroles. She could also retreatfromsituations that
became threatening or burdensome. That very autonomy,
however, had drawbacks. No matter how much Sedgwick felt
loved and needed by her surrogatehusbands and children, she
was still keenly aware that she was not accorded the primary
place in theiraffectionsand loyalties. She was "firstto none.""'
Her devotion was secondary; her dependence based upon
shakier underpinnings. In the end she was a woman alone.
In her own way,Sedgwick is representativeof the ambiguity
to be found in the sentimentalists' fiction. Her anchorless
existence reflectsits ideals and aspirations as well as its doubts
and fears.She believed marriage was ideal forwoman, but she
herself did not marry,apparently because she feared that in
choosing a husband she would be forced to "[endure] much
heroically"; that instead of experiencing the joys of mother-
hood, she would be saddled with the "painful drudgery" of
rearing children; and that instead of findingEden she would
face only a "drearyjoyless condition." Yet her sentimentsstill
61 Catharine Maria Sedgwick to Kate SedgwickMinot, Feb. 20, 1853, Catha-
rine Maria Sedgwick,MHS.

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
 A WOMAN ALONE 225
lay with the challengesand rewardsto be derived froma
family,and she triedto be a wifeand motherthroughsurro-
gate husbandsand surrogatechildren.Sedgwick'sconflicted
attitudecan be seen in the factthatshe soughtwifehoodand
motherhoodbut did not fullycommitherselfto thoserespon-
sibilities,fearingthat the actual would not conformto the
ideal. On theotherhand,herattemptto play thoseroleswith
surrogatesindicatedthatshe had internalizedthe stereotypes
prescribedin hernovelsand storiesand neededthoserolesfor
fulfillment.
Even whenin herfictionSedgwicksoughtto legitimatethe
statusof the unmarriedwoman,it is clear thather truesenti-
mentslay in thehome.In sayingthatthe greatestfulfillment
forwomanwasto be foundas a wifeand mother,shewas auto-
maticallyascribingan inferiorstatusto theunmarriedwoman,
despiteher protests.Her prescriptionforthe spinster,a pre-
scriptionthatshe exceededin her searchforfulfillment, also
revealedherallegiance.Ratherthandeviatingfromthenorm
establishedformarriedwomen,the spinsterwas told to play
thesamerole beyondtheconfinesof thenuclearfamily.Sedg-
wick chose to remain single and defendedthatchoice pub-
licly,but she privatelycircumvented theconsequencesof that
choice. Perhapsnothing else was possiblefora woman who
had so thoroughlyinternalizedthe definitionof femininity
thatdominatedhercentury.

This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Tue, 13 Jan 2015 06:24:11 AM

All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions