Sandhya Senthilkumar

period 3 online

JUSTIN BALDONI’S “WHY I AM DONE TRYING TO BE MAN ENOUGH,”

AND CHIMAMANDA ADICHIE’S “WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINISTS.”
COMPARE/CONTRAST ESSAY

In both Adichie’s and Baldoni’s ted talk, each of them talked about how previous

generations and their cultures shaped the gender roles of men and women who followed them.

Both of them regretfully expressed on how the society was teaching the younger generations

to be the ideal “man” or “woman,” rather than teaching them to be good humans. The

thoughts shared by Adichie and Badoni had many similarities than differences.

One striking similarity in both of their ted talks was that both of them talked about the

roles or “scripts” that males were given from the time they were born. They talked about how

males were taught to be afraid of vulnerability and that showing their vulnerability or

weaknesses made them less manly. According to Adichie, males are locked inside a small

cage called masculinity. With the viewing of the society, if they don’t have the qualities that

make them masculine, it makes them less of a man. Baldoni said that males are given “scripts”

and that these scripts told them on how to be a man and act like one. These scripts were given

to both genders and it asked the men to be the strong ones and women to be the weak and

vulnerable ones. Both talked about how males were expected to be the ones to take the

initiative and the ones to protect the females in order to prove their masculinity; Men were

expected to be the ones to make money for the family and the ones to pay for everything.

They are put under constant pressure to prove their masculinity every day.
 Both Baldoni and Adichie emphasized on how human cultures and its expectations

widened the gap between the roles of men and women. Baldoni told about how he was bullied

because he was soft and not strong like other males. From Baldoni’s story of one his female

followers and her boyfriend, her boyfriend grew up in an environment where men who

displayed affinity and emotion were mocked; this made him to be afraid to publicly display

his love for his beloved. A waiter greeted the man that Adichie came with but paid no

attention to her. When she gave a tip to the man who found her a parking spot during her trip

to Lagos with her friend Louis, the man thanked Louis and not her as he thought that the

money she had was earned by Louis. Baldoni only started to gain male followers after he

started to post “manly” stuff. The main idea in all these examples was that men are expected

to be brave, strong and the breadwinners of the family, while women are expected to be

inferior to men. Adichie and Baldoni both addressed these issues by giving examples based on

their real-life experiences, which gave their ted talks more dimension and emotion.

Adichie later gave a lot more elaboration than Baldoni on the burden women face due to

gender roles: The culture that people developed made women to be the inferior ones and men

to be the leaders even if those men and women didn’t want to; Women were expected to limit

themselves to the domestic sphere by doing all the housework, cooking, and caring for the

children, while the men went to work to feed the family; They were expected to marry early,

and if she doesn’t, it counts as her failure. Males are taught to mask their true selves and

according to Adichie, girls grow up to be women who have turned pretense into an art form;

Women are taught to limit their potential in all cases while men are taught to hide their

worries and insecurities.

 And lastly, both of them conveyed to the audience to teach their children to be better

humans. Baldoni said that instead of raising children to be strong and brave boys or fragile

and pretty girls, we have to raise them to be good humans. Adichie conveyed that instead of

raising children with the attitude that the boy has to pay, we have to raise them with the

attitude that whoever has more should pay. Just like she said, culture is made by people. Both

Baldoni and Adichie used their voices to convey the need for people to change that culture

and start raising boys and girls differently from before, making it clear to them that they are

only biologically different and not different in terms of abilities and intelligence.

One main difference in their ted talks was that Baldoni spoke more about the problems

faced by men while Adichie spoke more about the problems faced by women. But they both

addressed the problems faced by the opposite gender as well, that too accurately. They

weren’t biased on acknowledging the issues faced by the opposite gender. Just like I said

before, there were more similarities than differences. Both of them addressed their speech in a

humorous yet serious way. Both of them used their life experiences as examples of the

problems they addressed. Both of them conveyed how gender and culture defined how people

should be rather than recognizing them for what they are. They stressed on the need to change

the current culture and the need to raise children differently so that the younger generations

know that skills and knowledge are not defined by gender. At the end of the day, the thoughts

shared by Adichie and Baldoni are very similar.