Grade 8 Argument Writing

Improve it, Don’t Ban It: A Position Paper on Football

It is a fall Friday night. The moon hangs low, the air is crisp. You
The writer used
are walking into our town. As soon as you enter the town, you see The writer used
a warm glow from the edge of the high school and you hear a low techniques from other
different sentence
wave of noise. Get a little closer. The glow becomes lights, bright genres (in this case,
structures to achieve
and bold hanging over the field behind the high school. The wave of narrative writing) to
different purposes
hook the reader and
throughout his/her noise? If you walk toward the field, you’ll hear that wave of noise
set the stage for the
argument. separate and become hundreds of voices, all cheering and screaming
argument.
their hearts out. For their team. For our team. For football.
The writer used For hundreds of years, American high schools have been hubs
shifting verb tenses for communities to come together and hope and root for their teams The writer intended
when needed and on Friday nights. Football is a pastime as American as apple pie to affect the reader in
appropriate. and fireworks. It brings communities together and once a year, on particular ways—to
the night of the Super Bowl, it brings all of America together. Yet, make the reader
The writer hooked recently in the media, football has come under attack for being a think, realize, or feel a
the reader and then sport that is dangerous. Critics of football and even former team particular way—and
provided specific players have come forward to claim that football causes concussions chose language to do
context for his/her that.
and that its players suffer shorter life spans. And seeing that football
own as well as other may be damaging for adult players has trickled down to people now
positions. fearing what happens when children play. Even President Obama
has weighed in on the dangers of football for youth (see Downes,
2013). Articles aimed at people of every age from adults to children
The writer stayed fair
have appeared in news outlets, all urging people to take a stand The writer used
to those who might
against football for youth and see that it is not worth the injuries comparisons,
disagree with the
position taken by it causes. Their point—a game that causes injury is not one we analogies, vivid
describing how this want for our children. Yet, this argument overlooks the positives examples, and other
position is one of around football. The negative media storm has been drowning out rhetorical devices to
several and making it anyone who might say that football is fun or good. Reporters paint clarify the writer’s
clear where it stands football players as modern day gladiators fighting thoughtlessly for thinking and help
in relation to others. the entertainment of the crowd. However, this is not the full story. readers grasp
Football is an important form of physical exercise, a game which the meaning and
significance of a point.
The writer laid out an offers many mental benefits and a community tradition which brings
argument on a topic joy to many. This paper will argue that rather than seeing football
as entirely negative, people should be finding ways to make football The writer introduced
and made it clear
safer and improve the game so that it can continue to remain a key, the position and
why this particular
oriented readers to
argument is important enjoyable pastime.
the way in which
and valid.
There seems to be no end to the anecdotal and scientific the argument would
evidence about the injuries football causes. In “The Problem with unfold across the
The writer analyzed Football: How to Make it Safer” Sean Gregory (2010) begins by position paper.
the relevance of the describing a high school player walking into a researcher’s office
reasons and evidence to see the brains of dead football players and looking at how these
given (including brains are damaged. The effect of that anecdote is shocking. The
those given for the reader clearly sees that injuries, particularly head injuries caused
counterclaims) and
over time do have long-term consequences. Gregory states that
helped the reader
understand what each high school players alone suffer 43,000 to 67,000 concussions a
position is saying. year (although this number could be higher since these are only the
number of reported concussions). In 2013, five former Kansas City

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May be reproduced for classroom use. © 2014 by Lucy Calkins and Colleagues from the TCRWP from Units of Study in Argument, Information, and Narrative Writing, Grades 6–8 (firsthand: Portsmouth, NH).

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 Grade 8 (continued) Argument Writing

The writer
incorporated
trustworthy and
significant sources.
The writer organized
claims, counterclaims,
reasons, and evidence
into sections and
clarified how sections
are connected.
The writer worked to
ensure that readers
are able to follow the
logical progression of
the argument.
Chief players sued the Chiefs for not warning them about the long-
term dangers of concussions and in August of that month, the NFL
agreed to pay $765 million to settle those cases (Belson, 2013). So
no one is arguing that football is totally safe. And no one is saying
that football is safer than other sports, although it is the case that The writer brought
that there may be sports as dangerous or more dangerous than out aspects of the
argument that were
football—like, for example, cheerleading as Rick Reilly (1999) would
significant to the
assert. Instead, one might argue that steps need to be taken to make
audience and to the
football safer. Just outright banning youth football is not the answer.
overall purpose of the
That’s like throwing the baby out with the bathwater as my grandma
piece.
says. And the baby may want to grow up and play football.
There are many reasons to find ways to improve football for
youth rather than just ban it outright. Think of the positives about
football. Like the physical exercise. Football requires strength and
speed and endurance. In her article for Livestrong.com, Nunely
(2013) argues that you use almost every muscle when you play
football. As she claims, upper and lower body muscles are used when
players are “running, jumping, blocking, catching and throwing” and
core muscles have to keep working to keep your “spine stable and
perform twisting movements when throwing or going up to catch
a ball.” Silverman (2014), another writer for Livestrong.com would
agree with Nunely, as he argues, “Despite the dangers, football
players enjoy greater strength and cardiovascular health, not only
during the regular playing season, but during the off-season when
in training.” This means that football does offer health benefits
that should not be overlooked. Football doesn’t just improve your
cardiovascular health and your muscle tone but it also strengthens
your hand-eye coordination, agility, speed, and more (Scheinbaum, The writer explained
2013). Now, yes, these are blogs written for organizations that have when a source
a vested interest in sports but the truth is that youth do need to seemed problematic.
be healthier and sports, including football, are key. In a time when
American youth have never been unhealthier and the National
Center for Health Statistics is reporting that only about 24.8% of
youth surveyed in the National Health and Nutrition Examination
Survey (NHANES)’s National Youth Fitness Survey gets the amount of
physical fitness that the US government has recommended (Sifferlin, The writer used
2014), is getting rid of a form of important exercise really the way internal punctuation
to go? Do we really want youth sitting around playing video games? appropriately within
Isn’t it important to find some way, any way, to get them active and sentences and
moving? As a pop culture writer Daniel Flynn (2013) said when he when citing sources,
was interviewed by the NFL Evolution, “there are always risks to including commas,
every human endeavor but on the whole people who play football dashes, parentheses,
are going to walk away from playing the game healthier than people colons, and semicolons.
who sit in the stands and watch it.”

(continues)

May be reproduced for classroom use. © 2014 by Lucy Calkins and Colleagues from the TCRWP from Units of Study in Argument, Information, and Narrative Writing, Grades 6–8 (firsthand: Portsmouth, NH).

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 Grade 8 (continued) Argument Writing
Another key reason for finding ways to improve football rather
than ban it for youth are the mental benefits of football. Scheinbaum
(2013) assert that playing football requires more strategy than any
other sport. As he explains, football is a game “made up of dozens
of individual plays, each with its own complicated patterns of
movement and logic.” According to Scheinbaum, this game requires
a player to be constantly evaluating what is working and what is
not. The strategy involved means that youth who play are learning
to be more strategic, considering which plays will work and in
what situations. In addition, playing on a football team can teach
important leadership skills. According to the article “3 Ways Your
Child Will Benefit from Playing Football,” by Steve Alic (2013), “by
playing this sport, young athletes learn football’s timeless qualities
of leadership, responsibility, perseverance and teamwork.” This is
significant because students who play football are learning lessons
that will matter off the field. Research also shows that students
in middle school who play sports are healthier and more satisfied
The writer used with their lives than those who do not (2010). So students who are
transitions such as playing football no matter what are gaining things they would not
“perhaps the most be gaining otherwise. If football is banned, those gains will be lost.
important reason,” Perhaps the most important reason to consider how to make
“this is significant football safer than just banning it outright is the fact that it is a
because,” “there is passion and a tradition that is important for many. When three
some evidence that”
million children ages 6-14 take to football fields every year (Alic,
to lead the reader
across parts of the
2013) we have to concede that there must be at least some
text. enjoyment for the game. When towns gather to huddle around their
teams, cheering them on, even in freezing cold weather, we have
to acknowledge that this game is more than a game to some. It is
part of a tradition. And sure, there are traditions that should not
always be kept but it seems an indifferent, cold attitude to look at
how many people have their hearts in this sport and say, “no get
The writer created
rid of it.” Wouldn’t it be better to study more carefully how it could
an organizational
be improved? And, I am arguing that there are ways to improve the structure that supports
game. the reader’s growing
Rather than start banning youth leagues, more communities understanding across
need to start putting policies in place that keep students safer. Like the whole of the
reading the research on which helmets are safest. Like making sure argument, arranging
coaches go through tougher training programs so they are more the sections to build
aware of what plays are dangerous and should not be run and of on each other in a
how to make sure that youth do not overwork certain muscles. Like logical, compelling
making it illegal for players to use certain head-butting moves. Like fashion.
making it okay and even admirable to leave the field if you get hit
rather than playing through pain. In “The Problem with Football:
How to Make it Safer,” Sean Gregory offers suggestions for how to
make football safer and if more communities read this kind of work,
then perhaps football would be a safer game and less people would
be bad-mouthing it. There is some evidence that raising awareness
of the dangers of football may be the best first step toward

(continues)

May be reproduced for classroom use. © 2014 by Lucy Calkins and Colleagues from the TCRWP from Units of Study in Argument, Information, and Narrative Writing, Grades 6–8 (firsthand: Portsmouth, NH).

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 Grade 8 (continued)
The writer spelled
technical and literacy
vocabulary accurately.
The writer used
transitions to lead the
reader across parts of
the text and to help
the reader note how
parts of the text relate
back to earlier parts.
(continues)
May be reproduced for classroom use. © 2014 by Lucy Calkins and Colleagues from the TCRWP from Units of Study in Argument, Information, and Narrative Writing, Grades 6–8 (firsthand: Portsmouth, NH).
06_Annotated_Writing_ARGUMENT.indd 9
Argument Writing
improvement. A recent New York Times article by Belson (2014)
stated that the NFL had reported a 13% decline in concussions
this year. The NFL credited “improved medical diagnoses, stiffer
penalties for striking with a helmet, and fewer practices” for this
decline although officials did say that this number is based on a
small sample size and there may still be unreported concussions. Still
though, this decline may point to a positive sign—that an increased
awareness of the dangers and a more vigilant understanding of how
to be safer may lead to greater safety.
So, there you are, in our town on a Friday night in autumn,
The writer varied the
watching football. You see families in the stands huddled together tone to match the
under blankets, their breaths blowing frosty in the night. You see the different purposes of
players giving it their all, pumping each other up and keeping each different sections of
other going under the warm glow of the lights. And as you watch, the argument.
you’ll see lots of problems, sure, but you’ll see something to cheer
about, too, of that I’m sure. Football has a ways to go but banning In the conclusion,
it is not the answer. More needs to be done to make youth football the writer described
safer and then that will be something we can all cheer about. the significance of
the argument for
References stakeholders and
offered additional
Alic, S. (2013). 3 Ways Your Child Will Benefit from Playing Youth insights and
Football. [Web Log Entry] Retrieved from http://usafootball.com/ implications.
blogs/americas-game/post/7269
Belson, K. (2014, January 30). Concussions Show Decline of 13%,
N.F.L. Says. The New York Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.
com/2014/01/31/sports/football/nfl-reports-concussions-dropped-13-
percent-in-2013.html
Belson, K (2013, December 3). Five Former N.F.L. Players Sue the
Chiefs Over Head Injuries. The New York Times. Retrieved from
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/04/sports/football/five-former-nfl-
players-sue-the-kansas-city-chiefs-over-head-injuries.html
Downes, L. (2013). The Dangerous Game. Taking Note: The Editorial
Page Editor’s Blog [web log entry]. Retrieved from http://takingnote.
blogs.nytimes.com/2013/01/30/the-dangerous-game
Flynn, D. (2013). Author’s ‘War on Football’ sees positive
aspects at all levels. Retrieved from http://www.nfl.com/news/
story/0ap1000000243729/article/authors-war-on-football-sees-
positive-aspects-at-all-levels
Gregory, S. (2010). The Problem with Football: How to Make it
Safer. Time Magazine. Retrieved from http://content.time.com/time/
magazine/article/0,9171,1957459,00.html
Nunley, K. (2013). Main Muscles Used in Football. Retrieved from
http://www.livestrong.com/article/461382-main-muscles-used-in-
football/
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 Grade 8 (continued) Argument Writing
Reilly, R. (1999, October). Sis! Boom! Bah! Humbug! Sports
The writer spelled
material in citations Illustrated, vol. 91 (issue 15). Retrieved from http://sportsillustrated.
accurately. cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1017375/
Scheinbaum, C. (2013). 5 Mental and Physical Benefits of Playing
Football. [Web Log Entry] Retrieved from http://www.theadrenalist.
com/sports/5-mental-and-physical-benefits-of-playing-football/
Sifferlin, A. (2014). Couch Culture: Only a Quarter of U.S. Youth Get
Recommended Exercise. Retrieved from http://healthland.time.
com/2014/01/08/couch-culture-only-a-quarter-of-u-s-youth-get-
recommended-exercise/
Study Shows Physical and Mental Health Benefits of Sports
Participation in Adolescents. (2010, September 22). Retrieved
from http://www.news-medical.net/news/20100922/Study-shows-
physical-and-mental-health-benefits-of-sports-participation-in-
adolescents.aspx

May be reproduced for classroom use. © 2014 by Lucy Calkins and Colleagues from the TCRWP from Units of Study in Argument, Information, and Narrative Writing, Grades 6–8 (firsthand: Portsmouth, NH).

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