BRANCHING OUT

Megan Pastoor
 Introduction

I can clearly remember the feeling of anxiety sinking deep into my stomach. I can

remember the shakiness, and all the times I wanted to say something but didn’t. But I also

remember all the rewarding experiences of trying something new. I remember the proud look on

my parent’s faces and the encouraging look on my friends. This memoir gives just a glimpse into

the struggle I have had with growing up shy, nervous, and quiet. But it also gives a glimpse into

how far I have come and what/who has helped me get there.

One of the main ways I have been able to overcome anxiety in my life is knowing that no

matter where I am or what I’m doing, my Savior is always with me, and the God that governs the

universe holds me in the palm of His hand. God directs my ways, and has a perfect plan for my

life. Placing my life in God’s hands and trusting Him with my whole heart has brought me peace

and comfort.

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto

you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27

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 Saying Goodbye to Shy

I have always struggled with doubting myself and anxiety about trying new things. These

fears have held me back and made me say “no thanks” to many experiences and friendships.

Special Needs Week was one of the main events in my life in which I have proved to myself that

trying new things offer valuable lessons, experiences, and so much more.

I can remember the drive there vividly. Second thoughts poured into my head like

massive waves rolling in during a storm. I immediately regretted even applying and wished I

could just stay home with my family for the week. When I had originally applied for Special

Needs Week, I had done so with my best friend, but after we were accepted she decided not to do

it. Now there I was, packing up the car with my pillow and a couple bags, about to leave my

family for a week and be with a huge group of people that I didn’t know at all.

My stomach felt like it could just burst because I was so nervous. Somehow my body got

itself into the car, because I know my mind wouldn’t have done so willingly, and my dad began

driving.

Next came the 30 minute drive of gruesome stomach pain and shakiness. The shakiness

has always been the worst, because no matter how much I wanted to stop it, I couldn’t. I

struggled because I knew deep down I really was excited, but I doubted that I could survive a

whole week not knowing anybody.

Seven days later, I was confident there is no part of me that regretted going. The

friendships I made that week and the countless ways I saw the love of Christ shown through the

love of His people toward one another are gifts and memories I will cherish forever. I realize this

was just one week away from my family and friends. I realize people do this all the time. But for

me, it was a huge moment, and something I’m still so proud of. I’ve always been shy and

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introverted, so going to an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people was something I would never

choose for myself. This was the summer before my freshman year of high school and it truly

showed me that I was capable of doing new things and that I really could make new friends

easily. This set me up to be more outgoing in high school and try things I wouldn’t have

naturally.

Had I decided not to go, there are so many friendships, experiences, emotions, and

memories that I would have missed out on. It makes me wonder how many more things in my

life I could have experienced had I not been so afraid to try. As I look back, self-doubt is such a

silly thing to hold me back. Even if I tried something new and failed, or didn’t like it, then that’s

just one more experience and lesson I have to take with me, rather than wondering what could

have happened had I given it a chance. This is one of the first big events of my life that showed

me that even though I didn’t believe it myself, I was and am genuinely capable of so many things

that I might just assume I can’t do.

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 The Small, Black Bracelet

It was the night before the big race. I had eaten a healthy meal and stretched to set me up

for success. At the time, I felt like I was preparing for a marathon. I had trained all summer for

my big 5k, and I was ready to show everyone just how good of a runner I was - with an

incredible time of 23:32. Yikes. To say I was ready for the Olympics would be an

understatement.

Back to the night before, I was starting to get nervous. My dad came into my room and

gave me a small bag to open. Inside was a little bracelet with a metal plate that had the words

“she believed she could, so she did.” I put it on immediately and wore it for the race the next

day.

This is incredibly cheesy, but it meant a lot to me. It reassured me of something I already

knew to be true-my dad is and always has been my biggest supporter. No matter what hobby I

decide to try, or sport I take on, etc., my dad has always been there to support me 110%. He

wants to help me in any way he can, and he never doubts that I have the ability to succeed.

While I know both of my parents would support me in whatever way they could, my

mom would be the first parent to use logic and point out if I was being unreasonable or

nonsensical in my decision-making, while my dad would hear my idea and immediately come up

with a plan for me to accomplish it.

As someone constantly struggling with self-doubt and allowing that to hold me back from

new experiences, having a person in my life who means a lot to me show me that they believe I

can accomplish whatever I put my mind to is encouraging beyond words. Not only do I have him

cheering me on, I also have him ready to step in and help whenever I need it.

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 My dad has shown me time and time again that he is there for me no matter what and that

he always has my back. His constant encouragement has given me the confidence and

self-assurance I need to be able to try new things and step outside of my comfort zone. Having

this person in my life has not only helped me accomplish new things, but it has also reminded me

to be that person for others.

Self-doubt, fear, and anxiety can be such a silent struggle, and as someone who has most

definitely experienced it in my life, I know this first hand. Understanding how much an

encouraging word or comment can mean, I have learned to be a cheerleader for the people in my

life. The little bracelet that now mostly stays in the top drawer of my dresser reminds me to make

an effort to cheer on my friends and family as they set goals for themselves and then work to

achieve them. I am forever thankful for the role of cheerleader my dad has played in my life, and

how it has pushed me and inspired me to try new things.

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 Jori Sue

Growing up, I had always been shy. While I’ve grown out of it for the most part by now,

it was definitely a big part of my childhood as I was always nervous about new experiences and

meeting new people. As I’ve already shown, different events, experiences, and people have

pushed me to step out of my comfort zone and that has helped me realize that trying new things

can lead to some of the most amazing experiences that I would have otherwise missed out on.

But, my best friend Jori has been someone that has always taken me as I am, and I think that’s

also a big part of how I have and am becoming who I am today.

While all the things that have pushed me have most certainly changed me for the better, it

has been a blessing to have a best friend that has always loved me no matter what stage I was at

in life. Jori has been my best friend since we were in the same preschool class. That’s coming up

on 14 years of being friends. Instead of always pushing me to always be trying new things, Jori

has been one to make me feel more comfortable.

As just one example from the other day, we were at the store and I mentioned how we

should as an employee if they had supplies for a project we were doing. Without me even asking,

Jori walked over to the nearest employee and asked my question for me. She didn’t need to do

this, because I am capable of asking people questions myself. I didn’t even ask her to do this,

because had she not done it, I would have. But, this just goes to show that throughout our years

as friends, she has come to know me so well and what I might be scared or feel uncomfortable

doing. She is always willing to help me out. It helps that growing up, we had almost opposite

personalities, so while I was quiet and shy, she was outgoing and loud.

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 Like I have said, I’ve grown out of most of my timidness. But it is comforting to know

that while I have people in my life that see my potential and push me to reach that and try new

things, I also have people in my life that see what I am or am not comfortable with and are ready

to help out.

Jori has taught me to love people the way they are, not try and make them into something

that is more convenient for you or something you would prefer. She has taught me to love people

in big and emotional ways, but also to love people in small and seemingly insignificant ways.

She has constantly shown me that love is selfless and generous.

The example I gave may seem like a silly one, and to an extent it is. But for me, it simply

represents the countless times Jori has shown her love for me in small, even silly, ways. She

loves me for who I am, whether that be the quiet, shy, preschooler she became friends with, or

the highschool senior who has mostly grown out of that.

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 Conclusion

Today, I look forward to the future and what it might hold, rather than being frightened

by it. I do not regret my past, or spend time dwelling on all the opportunities I may have missed,

because it has taught me to be open to new things and treasure every moment. While the future is

very uncertain and I have no idea what it might hold, I take comfort in knowing that I am held in

the hands of my Heavenly Father who rules the heavens and the earth with His Word. I look

forward to the people I have yet to meet, and the things I have yet to experience.

I would like to thank my family and friends for the different roles they have played in my

life and for helping me grow into the person I am today and the person I am still becoming. I

would not be where I am or who I am without their constant support, love, and encouragement. I

have learned such valuable lessons from each of them that I will take with me for the rest of my

life.

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 Hello! My name is Megan Pastoor. I am 17 years old and am a senior at Covenant Christian

Highschool. I have enjoyed participating in volleyball at Covenant for the past four years and I

am excited to graduate in the Spring and attend college the following fall. I was born and raised

in Holland, Michigan, and I have loved living so close to the beach my whole life! Some of my

favorite hobbies include hiking, traveling, mountain biking, and hanging out with family and

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friends at the beach or at our pool. I have two brothers and one sister-in-law, and one

niece-dog. Hope you enjoy my memoir!

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