ST.

PIUS X INSTITUE
CUYAPO NUEVA ECIJA

PERFORMANCE TASK IN
CHRISTIAN LIVING EDUCATION
AND PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Submitted by: Irish Angelou J. Dela Cruz

G11-St. Ignatius
Submitted to: Mr. Carlito M. Caberto

Mr. Javy Gamboa

I. WHO ARE YOU?

To begin this, I am Irish Angelou J. Dela Cruz, 16 years old. I have no nickname but
I want everyone to call me “Lou”. The nickname my best friend gave me and she’s
the only one that create a nickname for me. I have brown eyes, long dark hair and
rectangle type of body shape. Moving on, I am a very outgoing person yet still picky
who, where, and when I’ll be clingy and be loud like drum. But honestly, it’s very
easy to get close to me, in other words I am an ambivert which means having balance
of being extrovert and introvert features. I am not afraid in speaking in front of many
people but of course I will still feel nervous. When it comes to relationships, I can say
that I am an date to marry person because as I observe In myself, I barely date
someone. And according to my observation in my day to day mood, I get irritate
easily and have anger issues but luckily I’m able to handle it now because I just want
to become calm when it comes to any situation that’s been coming to my life. I am
slow learner yet have capable in memorizing easily despite of this capable I still
choose to understand the lesson that’s been tackled about especially in math. And I
am an very open person but not vulnerable. Vulnerable means being able to show
your feelings in the situations that affects me. So I am opening up my problems but
not the emotions I had. It’s just hard for me to do so and I choose not to because I can
handle my personal problems. And being able to handle it makes me more
independent and confidence in everything things I do in circumstances I have. I like
being with people I’m comfortable with and I’m contented being able to create
memories with those people. I am very devoted thinker about literally everything and
will try to contextualize in any way I can so I look like an open book, if you know
how to read but don’t know how to comprehend then good luck for knowing who I
am. Now, let’s talk about my hobbies. Lately, the hobby that surely I always do is
sleeping, kidding aside. the hobby is listening to music, I find it really comforting to
the point it has become the reasons why I am still motivated and productive in
everything I do. It gives motivation where no one else could give. And of course,
Dancing will never fade in my hobby. I’ve always found myself dancing when
everything is like so exhausting and annoying. Dancing gave me comfort in every
situation universe gave me. These hobbies that I have mentioned was always been
my thing. I believe dance and music are like one of the best things that could ever
exist

II. HOW ARE YOU?

These days there’s a lot of circumstances that’s been coming in my day-to-day life.
Yes I admit that it was exhausting yet thrilling. Because lately those problems
benefits me by lending a valuable learnings that improved my way of thinking in
every aspect in my life. Those circumstances build what I am today and the reason
behind the succession of being me and the better version of myself right now. For the
past years, past events in my life still haunting me, the scar of it is still here. Yes I
moved on but it's just still here, hanging around in my life that cause a lot of fears I
have right now. The one cause of this is the pandemic. In first place I thought the two
weeks no classes are going to be great because I’m gonna spend my time in what I
want without thinking any school works however the two weeks became months, and
even years. The pandemic was hard for me to survive because there are so much
adjustment I have to do and even my family especially the adjustment we did in
school, which is the face to face classes became modular and online learning. I admit
that in past two years of pandemic I don’t really gain knowledge in the new way of
teaching because it is not easy to connect with your teacher and classmates clearly
that makes me not to have motivation in partcipating in every google meet we had
because I feel sad and empty when I saw them just in the screen, and it makes more
feel empty when I remember that day we used to see every day and heard the noises
we had in the classroom. So yes I don’t usually attend every google meet back then.
In modular learning, I just answered everything in the module and not knowing and
learning the lessons, I just do what to be done. Sometimes I always procrastinate
because my focus is in the Korean drama , sleep and any other activities I did before.
However in pandemic there’s a lot of realizations I have. The most important of it is
Loving myself. Loving myself is not selfish. In order to fully love others truly, I
need to love myself first. Why? because I can’t say that I appreciate them when I
don’t even appreciate myself. Before pandemic I always see myself giving advices to
others and listening to them, little did I know I don’t even do that to myself, that I’ll
be giving motivation to other people on how they can improve their confident but in
the end i don’t also have the confident they are lacking. And I’ll be giving encourage
to them but while with me, I’m blaming myself for not doing well. So in the process
of loving me, myself. There’s a lot of relapses that make go back to where I start. It
took me years to finally believe in me, to finally love myself and if taking time for
myself until I am me again, it doesn’t matter and if theirs is I’m willing to bet on, it’s
myself

I ’ve encountered a lot of things and situations that have disadvantages and
advantages in me and it was hard for me overcome the challenges but still, I always
decide to fight and face it even though I have fear in doing so. Despite of the outcome
of the challenges I n had, in the end I still surpassed every circumstances which bring
me so much motivation and strengths to still continue to pursue what I want for
myself. In the challenges I’ve encountered there’s a lot weaknesses and strengths I
discovered in myself. First, losing someone I’m scared of the idea of the person i love
or the person that close to my heart leave me behind. Because I hate that being with
them is just temporary. I want someone who can stay with me throughout life, not just
in relationship but also in friends, family. And I discovered myself that one of my
weakness are meeting new people and accepting them in my life because of the
people I met that makes me happy, comfortable then just vanish. So when i got to
meet someone, I push them away when I see myself getting close and attached to
their existence. Because I have this mindset that those people are the same that they
are just good in the beginning. But the worst of all my weaknesses I lack time
management. When I have so many to do, I don’t know where to start so in the end I
just let the time pass and will just going to do it when the deadline is near. Now, let’s
move on to my strengths. My strengths? Well, I guess I’m pretty good at breathing? I
don’t know. I discovered that I have determination in things I want to do and pursue
and doing so it made me more independent In every work I have to do , as well as
having determination and being independent lend a beneficial learnings to me.
Moreover, my biggest strength is genuineness. I am not the kind of person who does
something just to do it. Most of time, if I am fulfilling a task it is because I have
desire and passion for doing it. And in my strengths I can say that every challenges
that’s been in my life, my only strengths is the people I can lean on and surely will
stay with me. I always don’t see myself discovering a new strengths because it’s
always them, the people I love.

I realized that being able to recognize my own strengths and weaknesses can help me
become better person in anything I choose to do, whether it is positive abilities that
can help me to pursue the goals I want. Yes it bring ups and downs in my life but it
benefits me. when I spend reflecting on my strengths and weaknesses, I get to know
more who I am and understand my self better. Reflecting make me become more
mature that losing someone is not totally my loss and if it leaves you then probably
God knows that you deserve more better than having someone like them in your life.
God remove things or person in our life when He sees that it is hurting us and
changing the person we are. So if someone leaves, then leave it because God has
purpose in doing so. I realized that meeting new people is not a bad idea thus It is a
exciting phase In life. I can say that it is exciting because life is a journey that we
will meet a lot temporary people even we want it or not, but throughout life we can
see the people who will be with us till the end of the journey. In every strengths and
weaknesses has a purpose in our life, that God placed it our life so we can
comprehend that we cannot really know ourself and love ourself when we don’t
discover what we fear and what we have strengths. I also realized that giving up
doesn’t always mean being weak, giving up is strong, setting boundaries is strong.
Knowing when to stop is strong. In this journey, I do not wish to continue a journey
just because I have started it, I can be halfway for all I know, but I can always turn
back and take a different path. I realized that we don’t need to put ourself on pedestal
 just because everyone is taking the same linear path, I will do the what sets my soul
on fire.

III. MESSAGE OF HOPE AND ENCOURAGEMENT

Dear future self,

Our present self is struggling you know. Because life’s lately been hard and
exhausting, the happenings make our present self to want to give up and not pursue
what we want to happened. But I’m still hanging up, for our future and for you. I’m
writing this for you to say that still keep up in everything you to do and of course
especially the things that make yourself happy and give us comfort to make your past
and present self to be proud. Your present self right now is not taking care of oneself
and health because of the works she needs to finish but don’t worry she still get the
outcome she desire to obtain in our life. Our present self is living the life she wants
for herself, hanging out with our friends, making unforgettable memories and of
course things that should not be done but still we are happy in doing so. But yes I
confess there are times we feel drained in everything and not wanting to interact with
others. Also we are outgoing person however sometimes we also love to be alone and
just embrace the peace we are having when we are with ourself. Reminder, alone but
not lonely. Being alone is addictive. Because it gives us so much ease that sometimes
we don’t want to disturb the peace we have once again. I don’t what to say but your
present is being fooled, rejected, and leave behind the person she desires to be with
but honestly she doesn’t deserve those person so hoping you find yourself the person
you deserve, person that is gentle, thoughtful, consistent, forgiving and person that
you can lean on and good for your heart and will grow up with you and will stay
through the highest and lowest times. Because the universe still didn’t want to give
someone like that to your present self. Universe says in right place at right time, right
person will come and not going to leave you behind and because if it leaves us, then
they are not the right person but if it stay whatever happens. They are the one, the one
who you can stay throughout life just like your past and present self desire to. Want to
ask how’s your family? They are good yet struggling in their life and conflict in your
relationship with them is still there. However your relationship with them get more
deeper and understanding besides it will still improve and I’ m giving it up to you the
role in improving it. It just your present self is tired of making connection and
opening up to others even so until now our family will willing to listen and comfort
us, I’m just not feeling to open up to them because i can handle the personal problems
i have right now and used to not discussing the feelings we have. Since I don’t want
to end up explaining my perspective to them. Our senior high school moments are
great. We have the friends we can laugh with, will help us in our emotional and
financial problem and when we are struggling in our school works, they lend their
hand to assist us. And for you to be inform, we can openly say the things and
opinions we have because they will not judge us yet give us their thoughts, correct us
if we are in the wrong. Hanging out with them heals us. Therefore, being with them is
the safest place we can go to when everything doesn’t feel right. Yet I realized that
being in senior high school taught me that adjustment was a linear progress. I’m
talking about the grades, achievement and failures we had in school. It taught me that
if I didn’t do well in the first try, I could do better on the second one, third one,
fourth one and so on until I achieve the goals I want. It’s also funny remembering
how one or two mistakes would always makes me cry that I would always hear
“achiever” besides my identity. I knew it was hard and exhausting but it made me
happy. The kind of validation made me happy. I just also want you to know that lately
we’ve been getting far away with God for some reasons, for some people. We still
thank Him for everything and still have connection but not the same as last year.
Remember? Last year we always attend to church every Sunday, going to every cell
group or Bible study and even fellowship and serving God in the church like leading
call to worship or being a testimony leader. We don’t do that anymore. Nevertheless,
we still have trust and faith to Him, it’s just the community there that I’m avoiding.
Yet sometimes it’s still recalling what our sister said to us that we don’t go to church
for the people there or to have deeper connection with your churchmate but the
purpose of being there is to worship God and praise Him. So, I’m thinking about
coming back, not but soon and I hope you have a deeper connection with God, much
deeper than the ocean. because yes you meet the right friends and you with your
family however God is the one that will surely not gonna leave you behind and ready
to listen to you and definitely will love you unconditionally. I hope we are happy,
living so good and focusing with the goals and with ourself more. I also wish that you
are taking care of your physical and mental health ‘cause your present self is literally
dizzy while writing this. Even though I don’t know what we have come, if we
become a lawyer, nurse and rich auntie. And i know for sure the pain, the work hard
we did, will gonna be pay off, just wait till God provide the plan He have for us and
until it doesn’t come to us. We just need to trust and surrender everything to Him
because God has a right timing in everything in our life and God plan is the best plan.
I am proud of what we have become in the future. I hope you never forget to
appreciate yourself and I know fighting and surviving each day feels heavy sometime,
but I hope you never lose that drive in yourself. Also gonna remind you that if you
are into giving up, think about the reason why you started and why keep going.
We’ve cried so much and worked so hard in order to be where we at right now. I AM
PROUD OF YOU AND I HOPE YOU ARE PROUD OF ME TOO.

Love,
Present self