Moving Mountains

I consider every fleeting minute of my life significant for each becomes an opportunity for
me to flourish. All the failures, accomplishments, and realizations within my 17 years of existence
whether it was something special or trivial, changed the way I perceive life and myself. Overcoming
my insecurities was the first step that led me to the door of these changes.

I have always been the perfectionist type. I pay too much attention to details in almost
everything that sometimes I feel anxious whenever I fail to meet the standards I set for myself. I do
not want to be criticized by others that sometimes I hold back myself from doing certain things that
might cause disappointments to other people. However, when I started to realize that there is
nothing such as the perfect thing in this world except God, I gradually learned to embrace my flaws
and developed self-compassion.

Being vertically challenged is one of my greatest insecurities. Sure, hearing people say that I
am cute feels good but not until they use my head as an armrest and mistook me as a child or way
younger than my real age. Not being able to skip steps on the stairs, having to stand in the front of
any picture so that I can be seen, not being able to put my feet up on anything because they don’t
reach, and being always the first one in "according to height" lines absolutely annoyed me. Of all of
these, a particular situation recently just made me more insecure— not being able to take the PMA
(Philippine Military Academy) admission test because of the height requirement. It was like a dream
killer though it is not really my dream to become a military officer. Luckily, other entrance tests like
ACET do not require height to pass.

I love and enjoy doing art but I never felt satisfaction from every canvass I painted, every
drawing I sketched and every self-made craft I have done. I always find flaws on them. It is funny
how the word “perfection” was invented when is does not actually exist in this world. As I wait for
my mind to come up with ideas of what to type next, I suddenly paused and the memories of my
past that showed the nostalgic imperfections I had in my life popped up.

I cannot help but smile as I look back to the memories I treasured since the day I learned the
English Alphabet. Those memories composed of bittersweet moments just made the right blend. No
life is perfect and I had the fair share of painful memories. This is when I witnessed my grandpa
hardly gasping for air as he fought against death. It was my first experience of losing a family
member. It was a tragic event yet I chose to remember it because I knew at that very moment, God
freed him from pain. He is now with God and that is why I cannot take it wholly as a sad memory.
For that, I came to realize that maintaining the sense of equilibrium between the good and bad
aspects of life leave mark on the primer edge of self-consciousness.

My childhood was probably the least stressful stage in my life. I am quite thankful that even
before the evolution of gadgets, my childhood days took over. I got the best time playing with other
kids outside, not minding if my clothes get dirty or my whole body will be covered with sweat,
instead of staying inside our home alone with a tablet in my hands streaming YouTube videos or
playing Subway Surfers. Not only I learned to hide well when I played hide-and-seek but I also
practiced socializing at an early age.
 During my elementary years, I started to become serious. I treated each day as a chance for
me to gain knowledge that I would use for my growth, as I get older. Graduating as a Valedictorian
was not entirely a great accomplishment but rather a pressure to my high school self. What made it
worse are the competitive and confident students surrounding me in that school. New people, new
environment, new habits. There are so many things to adopt that the determination I once had
gradually faded. From having myself to walk just approximately 500 meters away from my home to
school, now I have to travel 25 kilometers by van to attend my class. High school is truly a big leap in
my life.

I was not an active student unlike when I was in elementary. Fear and doubt were the first
things that I have felt, maybe because I was too intimidated by others. I missed the opportunity to
show what I can because I thought that I would never be good enough. Even when I was called to
represent our school in the Division Schools Press Conference as a news writer last year, the fear and
doubt were still inside me. I was anxious that I felt undeserving of the post. I even cried in front of
my coach saying that I cannot do it and I might just lose. However, after days of thinking and feeling
guilty about how I acted towards myself and to the people who believed in me, I decided to give it a
shot and it worked. I managed to win the battle until I was selected as one of the representatives of
Region 2 in the National Schools Press Conference held in Lingayen Pangasinan. Never did I imagine
coming this far because at first, I was never into journalism. However, the experience made me
realize that more than winning the competition, giving myself the chance to learn new things and
discover what else can I do is something more brag-worthy. Unconsciously, my fear and insecurities
were gone.

Now that I successfully climbed over the tall hill of uncertainties and insecurities I had, I
would surely take with me the personal and academic lessons I worked hard to gather. I may
continue to stumble as I take steps on the steep hill that I am about to take in the future but surely, I
will rise and conquer again the complexities of life. With the assistance of my family and peers
fortified by the guidance of the Lord who reassured me that I could move mountains for my
individuality to be defined further, I will realize at the end how awesome this imperfect life
adventure is.
 I have known Ynah ever since Grade 7 and I am very much delighted to be her
adviser for this school year. I witnessed how much she grew and excel academically and
personally. As her current adviser, I observed how much she improved her leadership skills
first hand, as I assigned her to be the leader in their research group. She holds a great sense of
responsibility and is always eager to learn. She is maybe vertically challenged but she didn't
let her grades fall short. Even though she didn't belong to the first section in Grade 8, she
managed to be included in the academic excellence awardees and also a consistent honor
student since then.
She knows how to actively participate in school activities and let herself enjoy. The
balance between her bubbly and mature personality that she had always possessed radiates
positive vibe to every person around her. This is why it is easy to approach her and start
conversations.
Along with improving academically, Ynah also developed her spiritual being, as she
is actively involved in some religious activities. As this young girl continuously grows to be a
good student, youth, and child of God, I do believe Ynah got a bright future ahead of her.

EVAN PAULETTE A. CRUZ