MATAJI'S PRAYER

Beloved Presence within,

Today I surrender my all to Thee.
The past with all its mistakes
I place at Thy feet.
The future will be fiom Thee
and therefore for my good.
This day with each precious moment
5E|DIIEb glKtKJt
lies in my constant remembranoe of Thee,
only Thee.
Each breath I take is Thine.
Each thought I will give flrstly to Thee,
belbre it bursts forth into form.
I long to I'eel Thy love,
Thy power and Thy glory.
I know it is just this tiny child of the ego
that keeps dosing the door within.

With my head on Thy feet

and Thy hand resting on my head,
I beg Thee.
Guide this child of Thine to keep my mind
centred at all times on Thee.
My heart at this moment cries for Thee
inlove and joyous abandonment.
Help me Lord to keep it thus....
Pure and unsullied in Thy love.

What I can do, I must do — that is duty.

What is your duty - do it, otherwise it will
come back with compound interest. But if I
allow myself to be taken advantage of, then I
ama fool. This I can - more I cannot do.
If you are unhappy, it is your problem.
Each one must develop in his own way.
I am developing in mine.

SWAMI VENKATESANANDA
 UNX VE R S A L P R A Y E R
MY P RA YE R F OR YOU O adorable Lord of mercy and love,
May God bless y ou a ll w i t h h e a lt h, l o ng l i f e , p e ace, Salutations an d p r o s t r a ti ons u n t o T h ee!
prosperit y a n d s p i r i t u a l e n li g h t enment. Thou ar t o mnipr esent, omnipotent an d omniscient;
May you a ll w a lk in th e l i g h t of Go d, w it h G od, Thou ar t S a t c hidananda;
. with your hand in His, Thou ar t t h e i n d weHer of' all b ei ng s.
with t h e w h ole of' you i n Hi s p a l m, Grant us an understanding heart,
Live i n God; L ove i n God; S erv e God i n a l l b e i n g s. Equal vi sion, b a lanced mind,
May that Supreme Being dwell in y o ur e yes, Faith, d e votion an d w i s dom.
and in your heart, seeing His Self'i n all; Grant u s i n ne r s p i r i t u a l s t r e n gt h t o r e si s t t e mptations
seeing God Himself in a l L A nd t o c on t ro l t h e mi n d .
May we t h u s s wim i n t h e Ocean of B l i s s. Free us from egoism, lust, greed, anger and hatred;
Fill our hearts with di vine vi r t ues
M ay that p eace t ha t p a sseth al l u n d e r s t anding d w ell i n Let us behold Thee in allthese names and forms;
your heart; Let us serve Thee in allthese names and forms;
radiate from every pore of your skin, Let us e ver r e member Thee;
bathing e v er y one who comes withi n t h e c i r c l e of' y our Let us e ver s i n g T h y g l o r i es;
aura wit h t h a t i n e xpr essible peace. Let Thy Name be ever on our lips;
May harmony radiate from you, Let us abide in Thee for ever and ever.
dispelling the darkness of' disharmony wherever it i s f o und. Om Shanti Shant i S h an ti !
M ay bliss r a di ate f r o m yo u d i s p ellin g t h e g l oom of' suff er i n g >
misery, p afn- p h y sical, mental, moral an d s p i r i t u al .
T he Guru's con tr a di ctor y s t a tements and i n s u l tin g w o r d s
May God lead us from the Unreal to t he Real, are a c h allenge sn d a t e s t f o r t h e d i s ci p l e. The Guru
f rom Darkness t o L i g h t f r o m Mor talit y t o I m mortali t y . sees whether th e di s c iple is t e m pted a nd u p s e t- The
Assert every moment of your life: intelligent disciple should know how to act u nder such.
"I AM T HE IMMORTAL SELF- circumstsnces.
I AM NOT THE BODY;
I AM NOT THIS FINITE LI MITED MLVD- Faith brings God closer and reason puts Him far away.
I AM THE IMMORTAL SELF". Faith is not blind belief - i t g r ows out of th e wisdom of
May you b e e s t ablished in t h a t S e l f- R ealisation r i g h t ' n ow! the heart. D o t otal surrender to the Lord — keep nothing
b ack, no t e ven a l i t t l e p r i d e . Su r r e n de r y o u r s e l f a n d
Stillness of' th e soul comes after - t h e h e ar t h a d S u f f'ered y our al l t o t h e L o r d .
- Softened sn d S u r r e n d ered.
Disturbing elements on your path towards Self' Reslisat."on
We are all p a r t ' of t h i s s t r e am of l i f e , a ll p a r t i c l es o f and bliss ar e l i k e e xamination p ap ers . D o n o t a v oi d t h em.
d ust f'loating i n o n e , n one d i f f e r en t f r o m t h e o t h er . Answer them to your best knowledge and in a harmonious
w ay. D o n o t c a r e f 'or r e s u l ts . A l w ay s k eep y o u r m i n d
EveryUme you blink your eyes,change takes place. Be aware c lean and s t r o n g . SWAMI SlVANANDA
of' this. SWAMI VZNXATESANANDA

TR I B U 0 OU R DE A
Blessed are we who had the great opportunity ofknowing
Nataji,who was a disciple of Swami Venkatesananda,
whose Guru was Swami Si vananda of Di v i n e l i i ' e Society,
R ishikesh, S h e w a s i n i t i a ted i n t h e S wami Order b y
Swami Omkar of Shanti Ashram a contemporary of Swami
Si vananda. .
She has I a ft u s w i t h a g r e s t h e r i t a ge of h e aling a nd s e r v i n g ,
l oving, cari ng , s h arin g s n d s a cri f i c e w hic h s h e s h owed t o
us by her way of life and example.
She was total i n w h a t ever s h e d i d . S h e wa s n e v er t o o t i r e d
to do even any menial task and though she had the magic of
t he healing t o u ch, sh e claimed t o b e j u s t a s e eker o n t h e
p ath r
Ii' we imbibe some of her qualities, our lif e will become
sublime.
Blessed sre the ones who knew her personally. She was a
t ower:of s t r e n gt h a n d a l i g h t h o us e t o t h e s h ip s a t s e a
and a soothing balm to those with tr oubled hearts and she
taught by her example, to live in th e present moment,
totally not fearing the I'uture and not regretting the past,
with t o tal f a i t h i n G URU and GOD.
S he never l a cked f a i t h i n t h e s u p pl y l i n e .
She knew Guru snd God were without a doubt the head of the
Ashram,
Swami Venkatesananda's words to her were
"If you are sincere you can never lack anything."
W here therei s f a it h (size of a mustard seed) there i s
Iove.
Where there is love there is no judging, grumbling, no
c ompromising wi t h t r u t h .
love sees no evil,does no evil, hears no evil, speaks no
evil.
LOVE LOVES FOR LOVES SAl'CE.
Where that Love is there is God and where there is God
there i s n o n ee d ( emotionsl, p s y chological, mental,
physical, i i n ancial an d s p i r i t u a l n e ed). If this does not
e xist i n y o u r l i f e y o u d o n o t h a v e f a i th , l o v e no r God i n
y our l i f e .
swslslJl
OUK BELOVED NATAJ1 went within and beyond during her
lifetime and even beyond our understanding. She taught
b y her e xample, b y e r > r e ssing h e r b e i n g t o t ally f r o m h e r
centre, i n t o t a l l o v e an d t o ta l u n d e r s t anding.
Her gentle essence now permeates everything she ever
t ouched; ever y w or d s h e e ver s p oke; t h e v e r y d u s t s h e
walked upon.
Come let us experience the essence - that which she was-
t hat which sh e s t il l i s , a s w e d ail y r e a d h e r w o r d s .
Once the cleansing w i t hin ha s t a k en p l a ce, our h e a r t s w i l l
o pen and t h e n sh e wi l l t a k e ou r h a n d s a s w e f o l low i n h e r
holy f o otsteps.
swami gopala
S pirit ual l i i e i s n o t m eant t o b e a c o mfor table li f e . The
first t hing i n spi r i t ual lii'e is the willingness and dsring
to face oneself'.
O ne of t h e most i mp or tant l e ssons I l e a r n t m any y e ar s a g o
is t h is: NEVER — under an y c i r c u mstances whatever, accept
a ny i n i'ormation, however malicious i t ma y b e , u n l ess i t i s
firsthand. If it comes from a second or third person-
i f i t i s a b o u t y o u r s eli' or s omeone else — ignore i t . I f
a person hss not the courage to come direct to you in
o rder t o d i s c uss something t h e y d o n o t a g r e e wi t h a b o u t
y ou, then t h e y a r e n o t w o r t h w o r r y i n g a b o u t .
No man becomes great u n t i l h e h a s hi t r o c k b o t t om.
No one pushes misery down your throat-you are attached.
Detach yo ur self , SWANI VS IXATESANANDA
T HZ Z A .S T D A Y S
H ere follows a b r i e f s u mmary oi ' th e s t ar t o f M a taj i ' s
c ondition p r e ceding SwamQi's ar r i v a l f r o m I n di a o n 1 s t
April 1995 (Saturday).
On Tuesday 28/3/95, Tulsi received a phone call from
Mataji i n t h e k i t c hen askin g w h er e I w s s ( P adma).
N ataji t ol d T u lsi n o t t o d i s t u r b m e i n t h e M ar y S h r i n e
where we were doing our early mor~ing chanting, She
wanted me to bring her Aconite CN as she was not feeling
well.
Tulsi was concerned about the sound of Nataji's voice snd
feeling an urgency came immediateiy, the time about 7:25 am.
I went u p s t r a i gh t a way w i t h t h e r e medy an d r e aching t h e
b ottom oi' th e s t airs , I h e ar d h e r v o mi tin g i n t h e t o i l e t
upstairs. As I reached her she was kneeling beiore the
toilet pan holding her head and repeating, "the pain, the
pain, Oh God, the pain."She was moving her head, almost
as if trying to bend the neck backwards and forwards.
She could hardly speak and tried to show me to do pressure
pointin g.
As I worked on the area along the base oi'the skull and
d id her n ec k a n d s h o ulders, th e i n t en sit y o f t h e ' a t t a ck '
s eemed to set tl e d o wn. How much time we sp en t t h er e i s
d iffic ul t t o s ay , maybe te n mi n u tes, I a m n o t s u r e .
Later, once I had managed to get her to bed, she told me
i n w hi sper s t h a t s h e go t u p a s n o r mal, f el t f i n e a n d w e n t
f or he r m or nin g b a th . S u d denly, a s sh e was g e t tin g o u t o i '
the bath a dreadi'ulpain shot through her head. How she
managed to ge t t o t h e p h o ne, ge t d r e ssed whil e t h e a t t a ck
o f pain an d v o mitin g w er e t a kin g p l a ce, n o on e wil l e v er
know.
Swami Gopal arrived after the chanting in Mary Shrine,
remedies were made, treatment on the Trigon was started
a nd i n b e t ween th e v omitin g c o n ti n ued. She also k ep t
drinkin g water.
M ataji r e p eated a f e w t i mes "n o h ospi tal - n o h o s pi t a l " .
Later sh e g av e p er mission fo r D r . S i n g h t o b e c s l l ed i n ,
She did not want me to phone her children - she said we
m Ust wai t e
She had no fever but at one point we did feel very
disturbed because it looked as if her face had pulled
s kew We mentioned t h i s t o h er . S h e t r i e d t o si t u p s o
that I could examine her face.
I convi nced myself t h e n t h a t i t m u s t h a v e b een my
imaginafion.
I was also struck by the pale colour of her tongue, which
was almost whi t e.
S avatri t r i e d t o c o n tact Dr . S i ng h b u t t h e r e wa s n o r e p l y .
When finally s h e g o t t h r o ug h w e w er e i n f o r med h e hi mself'
was sick i n b e d a n d w o ul d c all o nce he wa s b e t t e r.
She asked for Panados but was unable to keep them down
and only I a t e t h a t T u esday morni ng , di d s h e s e t t l e d o wn
into a s l eep. What was si gni fi can t wa s t h e c alm and
quietness emsnating i'
rom her, no emotion, no drama, no
complainin g.
Throughout i t a l l t h e r e wa s a g e n tl e s t i l l n ess an d
surrender and acceptance I cannot begin to explain.
She was never alone for one minute, day or night. At one
time she opened her eyes and said Rsdha must be phoned
s o that t h e Wednesday t al k c a n b e s o r t e d o u t b e t ween t h e
three oi' us.
I ha d n o i d ea wh er e t o c o n tact Swamiji a n d e v e r y t ime I
asked if we could please phone him she would open her
e yes wide, shake he r h ead sn d w av e he r h a n d i n a ' n o '
gesture.
• Sh e was adamant about this. I also remember her saying
the Isst time she spoke to him that he was deiinitely
booked to arrive in S.A. on the Sunday, 2nd April.

I began to send out * prayer that Swamiji should phone us,
which is what happened on Wednesday night.
The vomiting eased off during the Tuesday evening to be
replaced by a 'funny' feeling in her head. She said a
few times, "I have this funny, sick feeling" and she would
move her hand scross the left side of her face and head-
almost as i f s h e wa s was t r y i n g t o w i p e s omething a way.
S he had t o b e h e lped t o t h e t oi le t an d e v er y e f f or t w a s
made to encourage her to drink as dehydration became a
concern. The vomiting finally stopped on Wednesday morning.
It was on Wednesday we became concerned about her speech.
W e iound i t v e r y d i f i i c ul t t o u n d e r s tan d he r a n d s h e h a d
great difficulty to make herself understood. Somehowit
reminded me oi'the previous year in August when she was
v ery i l l w i t h h e r l u n g c o n di ti on. However, t h e n sh e h a d
a high fever and we thought she was delirious.
She trie d t o w r i t e a m essage i'or u s b u t e v e n t hi s m ade
n o sense at a ll . One wor d di d s t an d o u t w h i c h l o oked l i k e
'arnics'and becsuse Arnica had been persistently on my
mind as well we begsn frequent doses of Arnica 30. She
r emained quiet an d s t i l l , making a t t empts t o s p eak a t o d d
intervals. When she heard that Swamiji had phoned on
Wednesday evening, her face lit up as she smiled. She
closed her e y es an d s l ep t f o r m ost oi ' t h e n i g h t , a p a rt
f rom going t o t o i l et> having r e medies or s omething t o
d rink , w hich s h e t ook o nl y i n s i p s .
T hursday sh e n e ver s p ok e a t al l - m a d e n o a t t empt t o
communicate. The u r g ency t o g e t l i q u i d s i n t o h er g r e w
w ithin me an d b y t h e t i m e Dr . Si ng h a r r i v e d i n t h e
a fternoon he p ai n ted ou t s h e was s howing si gn s o i '
dehydration.When Mataji h e ar d t h i s s h e made a bi g e i 'for t
to incresse her intake of fluids, After he checked her
most thoroughly he told us she had had a Cerebral
Vascular attack which had affected her speech centre and
t o a degree her s w allowing a bi li t y . T hi s e x plained w h y
she coughed every time she had something to„drink.
He left u s w i t h c e r t ain i n s t r u c ti ons t o f o l low an d each
o ne was car rie d o u t t o t h e l as t l e t t er . N a t aji wa s v e r y
happy t o s e e hi m b u t h e r a t t empts t o s p eak an d make
herself understood were not very successful. Throughout
t he ni gh t t h e s t i l l n ess wi t hi n h e r a n d a r o un d h er
r emained, in f a c t t h e e n t i r e r o om was impregnated wit h a
silence beyond d escrip t i on.
On Friday morning she opened her eyes and spoke.
This caused tremendous excitement and although she
s poke ver y s o f t l y a n d p a u sed, b e tween wor ds, w e
understood her and she understood us. She kept talking
about t hi s f u n n y , s i c k i 'eeling.
Every effort wss made to cosx her to eat something and
every suggestion made was greeted with a shake of the
head or a p u l l o f t h e f a c e t o i n d i c ate he r r e f u s al, She
repeated again, " No hospital " S h e t o l d R adhs t h a t s h o u l d
s he die d u r i n g t h e n i g h t , "Please give Swamiji all my
love". She continued to cough everytime she took her
r emedies or w a t er .
During t h a t n i g h t t h e r e wa s s c h a nge t o h e r c o n d i ti on.
S he told me d u r i n g t h e e a rl y h o ur s o f t h e m o r n in g t h a t
she could no t s l eep - "my mind is just going on and on-
this ha s n e v er h a p pe ned b e fore - I wish I could be
k nocked ou t . "I KEEP THINKING OF WORK PEOPLE ARE NOT
DOING".
I realised there was a problem when I took her to the
t oilet a f ter g i v i n g h e r s o mething t o d r i n k . A s s h e s s t
there r e s tin g h e r h e a d o n h e r h a n d , t h e l i q ui d s u d d enly
began to pour out of her mouth as if a tap had been
opened, I w a s v er y p u z z led an d s o wa s sh e b ecause she
wss not vomiting. Later Dr. Singh confirmed and expressed
his concern, he r s w allowing r e f l exes wer e d efi ni t ely
affected and the liquid she had taken before going to
t he toilet h a d n o t g on e d own i n t o t h e b o dy . Dr . w a r n e d
me about b ein g e x t r emely c ar efu l t h a t s h e di d n o t c h o k e,
we had to watch her very carefully.
D uring t h e day o n F r i da y a t t h e l u n c h b r e ak , f o r t h e
firs t t i me since Tuesday, she asked t h a t t h e A s hramites
be allowed to come and see her one at a time.
On Saturdsy her condition remained unchanged and she
showed great concern 1'or Suzie's well being, wanting her
in bed wit h h e r s l l t h e t i me. She t ol d A er " Your Daddy ' s
coming home". It was as if she was counting the hours to
Ais (Swamiji's) a r r i v al . Mataji k e p t s a yi n g w e m us t c h eck
with th e Ai r p or t a n d as k i n g w h a t t i m e Swami Gopal was
leaving. Swamiji wa s d u e t o a r r i v e a t a b ou t 6 p .m. She
l ooked disappointed when sh e was t ol d t h e f l i g h t w o ul d b e
four hours delayed. She closed her eyes and slept untilI
h eard Gopal at t h e g a te> leaving f o r t h e A i r p o r t .
Something else whic h wa s v er y s i g ni f i c an t wa s Suzie's
behaviour si nc e t h e p r e v i ous d sy . Sh e i n si s ted o n s l eeping
close to Mstaji's head — in fact with her head on the
pillow. She becsme very aggressive towards anyone who
c ame near Nother an d e v e r y t ime Nataji w a s t a ken t o t h e
t oilet Suzie j u mped oi f t h e b ed , r a n t o t h e t o i le t a n d
sat at Mstaji ' s f ee t u n t f l sh e w en t b ac k t o b ed , Sh e would
not leave Nataji 's si de.
This was a big change compared to Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursdsy and Friday where she wss quite happy to cuddle
under th e b l anket c l ose t o he r f e et . When Swamiji
a rrived Mataji g r e e ted hi m... what more i s t h e r e t o s a y ?
A ll events oi ' th e f o l lowing i i v e d ay s h a v e t h ei r o w n
story t o t e ll . ( S wami Padma's ver sion).
Swam ji's version:
T his is t eBing y o u oi ' t h e l as t t e n d ay s o f M a t aj i ' s
physical existence as I k n o w i t . I c a l l e d i r o m Poona to
speak to Mataji as I did weekly and SharmQa transferred
the call upstairs, and Swami Padma answered. I asked,
"where's Mataji?" and I was told she was having illness
and had a mild stroke. I requested her to be at her
bedside 24 hours a day and tell Mataji in her ears I am
r eturnin g o n t h e 1i'rst f l i g h t .
V
W hen I go t t o t h e A s h ram on Sa t u r day a t m i d ni gh t s h e
wasin bed and I was taken to her room. There she Iay
on the bed and she had the i'araway look in her eyes
- and I s q u eezed her h a n d a n d t o l d h e r , "your boy has
come home", and I took Aer Aand and placed her hand on
my head, and I looked into her,eyes and held her gaze
b ut she was v er y f a r a w a y ,
I t seems that s h e ha d p l a nned t hi s w h ol e t h i ng , f o r I d id
n ot want t o r e t u r n t o I n di a i n J a n u ar y a n d I t o l d h e r
that I w i l l s t a y f o r h e r B i r t h d a y a nd t h e n l e a ve a nd s h e
said that she did not want me around and I mu st get on
w ith t h e w or k i n I n d i a , S h e i n s i s te d t h a t I l e a v e o n t h e
iirs t f l i g h t , a s i f s h e w a n t ed. me out of t h e w a y s o s h e
could ge t o n w i t h t h e 10 v o l u mes which s h e f i n i s h ed t h e
Monday before she gotill. She cleaned a11 the drawers
and cupboards, and had e verything in t o t al order w it h
instr u c t ion f o r m e as t o h o w t o d e al w i t h s i t u a t io ns in
this pl ace.
W hen she got sick here I wss hsving difficulty i n
articulating words in Baroda and I as ked Dr Patel to
check me out and he said that my' tongue was swollen snd
Aad b ecome too b ig f o r t h e c a v i t y i n th e m o u t h, a l so t h e
bladder was affected and Mataji was having the same
problem. I t s eems i t w a s r e f l e c t ing i n m y b o d y i n B a r o da.
I used to speak to Mataji once or twice per week and when
I phoned Aer from Pune on 29th March I was told Nataji
was not a bl e t o s p eak t o m e he r t h r o a t m u scles were
p aralysed p ar ti al ly , I t o l d P a dma Swami t o t el l Mataji i n
h er ears, I a m g e t t i n g o n t o t h e f i r s t i ' l i gh t t o r e t u r n .
I returned via Bombay to Johannesburg on Ssturday before
midnight. She was waiting for me awake in bed and as I
held her hand and looked into her eyes she seemed very
i'ar and then she surfaced and told me very softly thst
s he had a t ap e f o r m e , "Om Shanti Om", (if y o u want
S hanti t h e n t h i s moment i s p r i c eless, pack i t w i t h
awareness of God i n g r a t i t u d e).

T he others t ol d me t ha t a t a p e was on t h e c a binet f o r
m e from her. Then sh e s u ggested t ha t I t a l k a t t h e
s piri t ual day o n t h e 3 r d A p r i l , w hic h I a g r ee d t o a n d
since I had seen her very sick in the psst and she
r ecovered, I t h o u gh t t h i s t i m e sh e wil l r e c over a s w e l l
and then next morning she was looking well as can be
'and I held her hand and put it on my head and told her
t o bless her b o y a s h e wa s g oin g t o t a l k a t t h e s p i r i t u a l
day and t ook he r l e av e an d l ef't. She ha d a r e l apse at
about IZ o' clock and when I was called up and she was
h aving a s t r ok e an d t h e n a f t e r s e t t l in g h er , I w e n t d o w n
a gsin t o f i n i s h t h e t a lk . I w a s c s l led u p a g ai n an d t h i s
time I c l osed th e meeting an d s t a yed up , Sh e w e nt i n t o a
semi coma and we got Dr. Singh in and he suggested a
drip and catheter f'orher urine which was done and she
was more comfortable. She was that way Monday, Tuesday,
and Wednesday night she seemed much better as we had
g ot a s uc tion p ump t o r e move th e mucus b u i l dup i n h e r
throat. This made her breathing much easier. The people
from the ashram were wonderful and we took turns to
w atch over Matsji . A t l e ss t t w o of' us w er e u p a l l n i g h t .
She decided to leave us on Thursday morning at about
8:IS am.
She was cremated at 2:30 p.m.
You cannot please a man who wants power except by GIVING
him power and then you sre destroyed.
If'you are totally caught and you are aware you are
' caught — you can g e t o u t o f ' i t .
A ttachment i s t h e t h i n g .
I t does not ex i s t .
It is a form of fear.
To see thi s r i g h t a t t h e b e gi n n ing i s w i s dom.
When you sense a p r o b lem — step back a n d . t h e p r o bl em
will solve i t self. SWAMI VZEATESANANDA
X A M TH E R E
Do you n eed Me?
I am t h ere.
You cannot see Me, yet I am the light you see by;
You cannot hear Me, yet I speak through your voice.
Y ou cannot f eel Me, ye t I a m t h e p o wer a t w o r k
i n y ou r h a n d s ,
I am at work, though you do not understand My ways.
I am at work, though you do not recognize My works.
I am not s t r a ng e vi si ons . I a m n o t m y s t eri es.
O nly in a b s olute s t i l l ness, beyond s elf , ca n y o u
know Me as I a m , a n d t h e n b u t a s a f 'eeling an d a f 'aith.
Yet I am there. Yet I hesr, Yet I snswer.
W hen you n eed Me, I a m t h e r e .
Even i f y o u d eny Me , I a m t h e r e .
Even when you f'eelmost alone, I am there.
Even in your fears, I am there.
Even in your pain, I am there.
I am there when you pray and when you do not pray.
I am in you, and you are in Me.
Only in your mind can you feel separate from Me,
f or onl y i n y o u r m i n d a r e t h e mi st s o f " y o u r s "
and "mine."
Yet only with your mind can you know Me and experience
Me.
Empty your heart of empty fears.
When you get yourself'out of the way, I am there.
You can of yourselfdo nothing, but I can do all.
A nd I a m i n a l l .
Though you may not see the good, good is there,
for I am there.
I am there because I have to be, becsuse I am.
Only in Me does the world have meaning; only out of Me
does the world take form; only because of Me does the
w orld g o f o r w a r d .
I am the law on which the movement of the stars and the
growth o f l i v i n g c e ll s ar e f o u n ded.
I am th e l ov e t h a t i s t h e l a w 's f u l f i l li n g .
I am assurance. I am peace. I am oneness.
 Receiu~in rs ss ~ dM e s aingsl J i e s i n us sen'nuslr Se t ung
I am th e law t ha t y o u ca n l i v e b y . t o h ear t t h e s e w ords Mataji w r o t e i n h e r D i a r y .
I am th e l o ve t h at y o u c an c l i ng t o .
I am pour a s s urance, I a m y o u r p e ace.
I' am one with y o u . I a m .
ESERT FATHERS CONTEM ON
T hough yo u f ai l t o f i n d Me, I d o n o t f ai l y o u .
Though y our fa i t h in M e i s u n s u r e, My fa i t h i n y o u 22 JANUARY 199$
never wavers, because I know you, Because I love you. 1. Tak e a glance into your psst. Recall one misdeed.
Beloved, I am there. Y ou then cannot judge ~ m a n .
JAMES DILLET FREEMAN 2e T ake a good l ook a t y o u r p r e s en t
— From where do all your problems stem?
I A C CZ P T A loose tongue being c o n t r o lled b y l o ose t h ough t s.
Take another look at your present.
B oth pleasant an d u n p l easant i s ct s make y ou r l i f e .
W hat do yo u s e e ?
However unpleasant, a fact is a fact, to be accepted and
Pride. S e l f ' Esteem. R e si stance. E x p e c tation.
acted upon . R e s l s t ance to a f a c t i s i t s el f a r e a c tion
D esire. J u d gin g. E x p ec ti n g .
which leads t o a c h ain of r e a c t ions in t e r m s of r e g r e t , Go into each on e.
of anger, of frustration, of sorrow. When you accept the T ake the l i f e o f a n y s a i n t - W h a t i s i t t h a t h e h a s
4.
f act, yo u h av e al l o f p o u r s elf; wi t h a l l y o u r s k i l l s ,
that we lack?
resources and also time to act. In action pou have a
A mind Total in God with Total disinterest in t h e
choice and also an o p p or t u nit y t o l e ar n w h er eas r eaction
t insel of l i f e .
is a happening which betrays your helplessness. And
5. L ook at God's wor l d .
reactions do not disappear by themselves for good. You T his wil l g i v e y o u r e v e r ence an d h u mili t y .
h ave to l ear n t o a ccept f a ct s an d a c t .
6, P ic tur e G od w it h o ut f o r m . - I s n ess. Beingness.
A cceptance of f a ct s s t a r t s wi t h y o u r s elf . To the extent A Nothing, A f u l l n ess. No f orm. Al l f o r m .
you accept yourself, you can accept to the same extent, T he all i n a l l .
s ituations i n y o u r l i i 'e . H o w ever u n desir eable i s a f a c t Speech: I i ' po u w a t c h, t h is w i t h T o t al a w areness-
about y o ur self', can yo u a ccept i t w i t h o u t r e si s tance and t here i s n o t h i n g m or e t o d o .
do all t h a t y o u ca n t o m ake i t d e s ir eabie?
PVJA DPRLRU? PRISON
What I g i v e t o What G o d g i v e s My R e s i s t ance.
A man who does no t l ook i n t o y o u r e y e s w hil e h e i s t s l k i n g t o me . My Fear s .
God.
to you d oes no t w an t y o u t o l ook i n si d e.
ICeep checking. — G o d a l ways wi ns. My Do u b t s .
No one thinks anp more — everyone just follows everyone
else. H u manity ha s l o st t h e p o w er o f t h i n k i n g .
Discussing another is Pride - and Arrogance combined.
Be happp or miserable - but life goes on. Instesd of It is as clear as glass to me. 0 L o r d s ave us all!
b laming something o r s o mebody - l o o k a t i t .
.SWAMI VENKATESANANDA
-
THE TONGUE - That is speech - Shows up the character
every t i me.
One must be astute and aware with eyes and ears
everywhere and yet see ~e only without judging,
J UST dealing wi t h i t ,
It i s d i f f i c ul t e n ough t o s t il l t h e min d o f s ome t h ought
of the past when emotions are no longer there-
What heH i t m us t b e i f ' emotions of a m emory s" 1 1 RULE
the day!
The more I l ook s t P r ide, the more subtle and sickening
i t b ecomes, but i t i s b r e d w i t hi n u s .
If t h er e i s P r i d e o r S el f I n d u l gence t h ere i s t o t a l l a ck
of awareness.
Each Hfe is a humans chance to change b ut we bi t e t h e
h ands that f ee d u s .
Ii'Thinker and Thought are one - we are thought
W herever o r Whatever t h o u ght i s t h e r e l i e s y ou r f a i t h .
T here is on e en er gy , THOUGHT = CREATOR.
You are one unique energy pattern created by thought.
l ook a t y o u r t h o u g ht s an d c r eate something b e t t er .
~27 L .
A fl ash b ack t o a ny T i m e in t h e P a st f r o m a c h i l d s h o w s
one - I can judge NO man — NO Never.
What is f ea r b u t a s e l fis h a t t e n tion on m e — a Puny,
Pompous, Proud c r e at ur e.
From this b u il t i n S el f a t t e n tion emerges all t h e Desires,
and Resistance and Violences — bound by a Ruthlessness-
All t h is m u st b e t u r n e d i n t o s t r e n g th f o r t h e F a t h e r.
Am I a ware? I t i s mo s t i m port a nt t h a t a s o n e m oves
out of T r i v i a li ties on e does lose awareness.'
It can happen so easily.
D o I miss t h i n g s b e cause I a m n o t i n t h e m?
Watch and see.
There is so much beauty in God's creation.
Can we not see that t his i n i t self i s t h e T r emendous
spiritual Power of G o d-
It is His omnipresence> omnipotence and omniscience -
Nothing can over r i d e His Domain!
AH INDIVIDUAL f'orces of' negativity are Puny Puffs of'
Pride — under HI S command — All i s t h e L o r d - H e i s t h e
only one. He alone commands.
J esus — How great T ho u ar t — a ICing among al l t h e
s piri t ua l gi a n t s.Proud of' being t h e so n o f t h e l i v i n g
G od That i s w h a t m akes Him di f f er en t .
S ilence is God wi thout f o r m A n y m o vement i n s o un d i s t h e
seed of fo rm.
Total silence is formlessness.
There is such a strong feeling of'Thy Love> Power,
Strength an d B eauty c o verin g t h e p l a n et. T hi s i s t he
base of' every t tun g.
L ord t h o u ar t i n c o mmand - n o t h i n g c a n h a ppen wi t h o u t
T hy sanction —. therefore sl l i s a s i t s h o ul d b e .
I can see that God even allows our Puny minds to
f unction — It i s n o t f 'or u s t o r e a son wh y t o a n y t h i n g -
b ut t o s u r r e n d er .
T he heart c r i e s f o r a l l t h os e souls an d e n ti t i e s t h a t
cannot reach thee - But thy everlasting arms are there.
Each lost soul is a child of Thine and Thy heart bleeds
« Only
f or hi m — let my h e ar t B l eed w it h T h i n e L o r d
then can I be a TRUE child.
 The assent of ego comes first — that is the endeavour
We speak of Hostile forces t o sur r e n der t o t h e s p i r i t .
But a n yt ime we h ave a n e g ative t h o u g ht w e a re j o i n i n g You have had t h i s .
them! 2. Now c o mes slowly
The Descent of the spiri t must i ollow and the body
b ecomes immersed i n Di v i n i t y i t s e l f
ST JOBV OF THE CROSS 3. On ly then can merging begin and the tears of love
Where there i s n o lo v e ~u t l o v e a nd y o u w i l l d r a w o u t for anothers suffering tears you apart-
the love t ha t l i es do r m ant w i t h in . 4. Then u n i o n -
Beautiful T he body m us t b e P enetrated wi t h d i v i n i t y i n o r d e r
to take t h e f o r c e of th e f i n a l s s c e nt i n t o t h e s o u l.
We m ust never l o se t he I o nging - t h e d e s ire t o m e rge l t T his is t h e meaning o f t h e v i n e an d t h e b r a n c h .
i s t ha t w hic h w i l l t a lce us t o t h e S pi r i t .
T ake care of th e body - Do not let i t t i r e .
Eeep the mind centred only on the Power and Glory. It is delicate in the sense that the grossness of matter
T hat is w ha t y o u s r e . is now moving w i t h H oly S pi ri t — I t i s u p o n y o u . Be
s till, b e s t i l h
In a moment when l east expecting i t — You wil l s w aken
and know. You are now to experience Soul Power in its True from.
MARCH Remain often i n t h e f o r es t w i t h t h e S on s o f God
A fter s u f f erin g c omes supplicationl b e g t h a t t h o u - more and more this will become your world.
overshsdow t hi s c hil d oi ' Thine.
God's creation is j u s t Prasad - ever~ h i n g i s f r om Him
Just thee and me and a space and the world goes by; a nd so ev er y t h i n g i s P r a sad - a t o t a l g i v i n g n o t
appreciated at a l l . We - l i t t l e a n t s w i t h in i t s b o r d e r s -
T hou has wr apped t hi s c h i l d i n t h e b l a n ket o f t h y h e s r t . f illed wi t h P r i d e .
Soon - only thee — no longer thee and me.
G anesha is Ei n d l i ness an d l ov e — silent s p eech a n d
4th M5ggg u nderstanding Jo y a n d h u mili ty , s t r e n g t h a n d H on
O what a l on gin g w i t h i n - Resistance.
And the heart is aware of just Thee and I do nothing
b ecause I i s d y i n g . The giYt oi' awatening is li fe i tself with so much
g ratit ude t o k n o w t h er e i s y e t a n o t her d a y t o b e .
Can I be s t i l l i n th e m id st o f i t a l l —aware only o i' T he e?
T hank yo u I o r d .
Yes for there is none other than Thee.
Today Rest in th e silence oi' the being in constant
At this point i n t i me there is no meditation nor desire awareness feeling it s beauty, feeling the stillness, th e
for i t — there is only t he awarene..s of' Him.
(I T TI,E FATHER) gentleness, th e l o ve, u n d e r s tanding an d q u i e t j o y ;

18
I have a Past so cannot judge or condemn.
I am not perfect in the Present so cannnot judge or
condemn.
T he saint and I ( t h e difference?) — !lf, is total -
Looking at God's Creation - I have to crawl on my knees!
We must go beyond form
Any movement and sound is the beginning of form - be
i t a mantr a o r s o n g o f a b i r d — Form i s t h e r e .
Total silence i s f o r mlessness.
If speech can b e w a tched t o tally' and c o n t r olled
- there is nothing more to do.
Whatever your faith is — you are.
T hought i s a c r e a tor — It c r e s tes y ou r w o r l d a p a r t .
T he Higher s el f a c r e ator - I t c r e a tes y ou r w o r l d w i t h i n .
You are an energy pattern crested by thought - nothing
more.
tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
Blessings can p o ur i n t o o u r l i v e s n o w b u t i t d e p e nds on u s .
Beautiful w o rd s mean nothing i f n o t p u t i n t o p r a c ti ce.
W ith grat eful t h a nk s l e t u s p r o s t r at e b ef or e Mataji a n d
place our h e ads a t h e r h o l y f e e t i n h u m ble g r a t i t u d e,
swami padma
Do not pray to God to take away pain or problems..... Ask
f or t h e s t r e n gt h t o a c cept i t a s i t i s ,
To the Yogi there are no obstacles, Whatever comes, be
i t p ai n o r p l e asur e h e d oes no t q u estion, b u t
acknowledges it ss f uel to self-knowledge. . -
SWAMI VZNH T E SAM'ANDA
P E A C E P RA Y E R
Adorable Presence!
Thou, Who art within snd without,
Above and below and all around,
T hou who ar t i n t e r p enetratin g t h e v e r y c e l l s o f o u r b e i n g .
Thou who art the Eye of our eyes, the Esr of our ears,
the Heart of our hearts, the Mind oi' our minds,
the Breath of our b r eaths, the Life of our l i ves,
and the Soul of our souls,
B !ess u s , D ea r G o d ,
T o be aware oi' Th y P r e sence, now an d h e r e .
This i s al l t h a t w e as k o f T h e e.
May all o f u s b e a w ar e o f T h y P r e s ence,
in t h e E ast an d t h e West, i n t h e N o r t h a n d t h e S o u t h!
Msy Peace and Goodwill abide among individuals
as well as communities and nations!
T his is o u r e a r n est p r a y e r .
MAY PEACE BE UNTO ALL.
O M OM O M
Do not worry and f r et . A l l o f u s will r ealise the Goal
sooner or later. Negative thinking of how far away you
are will o nl y t a k e y o u f u r t h e r a wa y s t i l l . Be a t p e a ce.
Duality is another name for pain, sorrow and expectation.
So long as there is duality one cannot be free from cares
a nd worri es, s o merg e wi t hi n , d r o p t h e s mall " I ' J
c onstantly a f fi'rming t h a t AL L I S H E .
"BE YOUR OWN SWEET SELF, AL WAYS"
If we could only remain for ever, as our own Sweet Self
what else is needed. Poor or naked we came here and we
return i n t h e ssme way from this world. T h ere i s n othing
t o be added o r a c c umulated, n ei ther i s t h e r e a n y t h in g t o
be left o r r e n o u nced fo r t h o se who a r e l i v i n g a s t h e o n e
S weet Self, f o r i t i s c o mplete i n i t s e if .
SWAMI OMEAR
 P RA Y E R TO THE MO T H E R O F A L L
" Lovei s t h e l a w of' God, Y o u l i v e , t h a t y o u may l e a rn Oh, my b l e ssed Divine M other
t o love. A n d y o u l o ve, t h s t y o u may l e ar n t o l i v e . I si t a t Y ou r l o t u s f e e t i n a l l l o v e -
No other lesson is required of man." a ll humilit y — all t e n d erne s s -
NIRDAD and ask f o r Y o u r B l essing t o b e gin Chis d a y .
T he whole reason fo r o u r e x i s tence i s t o l e ar n t o l o v e. Give me love - pure love-
T hat is w hat w e ar e A er e f or , n o t hin g e l se . J u s t l e a r n that I ma y u p l i f t t h e h e s rt o f s t o n e a nd w a rm t h o se w ho
to love,and only when we have learnt, can we know what are already walking towards You,
l iving i s al l a b o ut . W i t h ou tl o ve, t h er e i s n o l i v i n g ,
Without love, we ar e merely e x isting . W h a t w e c a ll Give me courage to stand beside You
love is no t l o ve, i t i s a b u s i n ess a r r a ngement —I To live only i n Yo u -
scratch your back, you scratch mine. Everything is T hrough Y o u -
wonderful until one or th e other of u s stops scratching, liftin g m y self a b ov e t h e d u s t s n d mi r e o f i U u sion.
a nd then t h e p r o b lem star ts . I n th a t k i n d o f l o v e t h e r e
is expectstion. You are my mother , my f r i e n d , m y b e l ov ed
Y ou are my a l l .
I f we s t and b ack an d l o ok, w e wil l s e e t ha t o u r w h ole l i f e
is ea>ectation. We EX PECT a certain b e h aviour f r o m C he Place Your loving arms around me
people wit h w hom we come in c o n tact: I ( e go) am expecting, T hat I ma y f e e l s af'e and war m
s o I am i n i t . a nd content a s a t i n y b i r d
b efore i t l e a ves t h e n e s t .
We h ave to u n d e rs t s nd l o ve as b e ing s o mething t h a t i s I am still i n t h e nest r esting in You.
t otal, I t i s n o t e v e n a t o t al g i v i n g , b u t a n a t u r a l
s tate that w e Aave somehow to f i n d . W h a t ever w e a r e B eloved Mother o f m i n e >
d oing t o f i n d t h a t s t a t e of' natural t o tal l o ve, i s I love yo u - a d o r e y o u — and i t i s
called "sadhana". Eventually> the avenues of sadhana only through You Chat I wiQ find peace,
t hat yo u explore — doing Japa, meditating, l i s t enin g t o MATAJI
a Guru - w i l l dr o p s w a y; y o u w i l l h a v e t o t u r n t o l o o k s t
yourself,discover what you are and understand yourself, N othing, n ot hi ng , n o t h in g ca n h a p pen t o m e u n l ess i t
F rom tAat beginning y o u w i l l u n d e r s tand o t h er s an d t h ei r is my karma, and then nothing I or anyone else does can
behsviour. If'you do not understsnd yourself, how can you prevent it - s o I hav e n o t h ing t o f e a r .
understand somebody else ? I t i s n o t p o s si ble.
So the world can go on for all Icare, because what is
A fter al l t h e Crying an d t h e h u r t i n g , t h e r u n n i n g A e r e f'or me, I cannot prevent, and what is not f'orme, I
and there, this method and that, something is still c annot g e t .
m issing. T h a t s omething i s l o ve . Lo v e i s Go d a d God i s SWAMI VZRKATESAXCNDA
love. We must become love by merging with the Beloved
P resence withi n .
. MATAJI
TO THZ G UR U
Deep withi n t h e h e ar t o f m e I s e e k t h e e,
My s oul f o r e ver s l u m bering in t h e n i g h t ,
Show me the way be l o ved Master, sh ow me, ~ IW v S
L ead me down th e p a t hway t o y o u r E t e r nal L i g h t .

To touch the jewel of Heaven I must know Thee

Know you from deep within my soul.
A nd so th e i n ner r e alms I m us t e n t e r >
To seek th e Self an d t h i s s h all make me whole.

Grace descending brings the moment closer,

That for which I long is drawing near.
The cosmic Self reveals to me my Master.
J oined within> i'orever o ne, f o r e ver h e r e .

Here within the soul of me I know THEE.

T he peace and oneness fi ll s my i n n e r s i g h t .
No more atone, bu t w i t h y o u i n Hi s g a r d en.
Oh Guru you have given me your light.

The heart in l ove and stillness rests within me,

It merges wit h t h i s t i n y s e ed my s o u l .
A ilower bu r s t s fo r t h i n jo y an d g r a t i t u d e t o m eet T HEE
At Iast my Gu ru yo u ha v e m ade me whole.
MATAJI

T reat all a c t ions as a f l o wer a t t h e f e e t o f t h e

omipresent power — God.

There are such terribleideas about Gurus.

Giving you a mantra does not make me your Guru.

From that w hich yo u b e c ome enlightene d-

T hat is y o u r G u r u .

Until then, there is no Guru — only a teacher and yo"

can have dozens.
SIVAbfI VZ V EATZSANAiVDA
~allam Bagctuarp
Telephone: (017) 386.1768
Plot SS — Ro ad hto.4,
Brentwood Park, 1501.
P. O. B ox 1 6 5 8 8 ,
1 465. ATLASV I L L E .
Rep of So u th Africa