THE SUBTLE

ART OF NOT
GIVING A F*CK
MEMORIZATION BOOKLET
Mark Manson
 WHY YOU NEED TO FILL OUT THIS BOOKLET!

Theory is useless compared to action.

This booklet is what will separate you from
everyone else.
The science is unequivocal: Learning science
has shown that retention increases dramat-
ically when new information is immediately
recalled (verbally or via writing), as well as
when it is practically applied to your life.
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
1. At a time when you are constantly being asked to
retrain and reinvent yourself to adapt to new tech-
nologies and changing industries, this book shows
you how to uncover and develop talents you didn’t
realize you had—no matter your age or background.
2. You need to focus intently to be able to solve
problems—yet that focus can also block you from
accessing the fresh approach you may need. This
book teaches you how to open that gateway.

NOW WHAT? 3. You are more likely to develop a passion for what
you are good at. The mistake is thinking if you ar-
Watch the video online or on your USB Flash en’t good at something, you do not have and can
never develop a passion for it. This book teaches
Drive. you to revisit those areas that you’ve misconceived
as weaknesses.
Pause the video as needed to fill out the
booklet.

Don’t worry about finishing all at once. Stop.

Start. Come back. It’s all up to you.

Apply the techniques discussed in the book-

let to your life.

Notice the results. Then double down on

what especially works for you.

NOTE

You do NOT need to read A Mind for

Numbers to learn and apply its key
Prepared exclusively for Mentorbox members. points. You should read it, but you
All rights reserved. don’t have to.
Copying is strictly prohibited.
 PURPOSE
The purpose of this booklet is to help you turn the-
ory into action. Learning science has shown that
retention increases dramatically when new informa-
tion is immediately recalled (verbally or via writing),
as well as when it is practically applied to your life.
Using this Memorization Booklet is the easiest and
most effective way for you to codify and make use-
ful the depth of knowledge included in The Subtle
Art(…). Follow this guide, answer the questions hon-
estly and diligently, and by the end, you’ll learn how
to successfully prioritize your values, thus making
your life simpler and happier.
PLAY THE CORRESPONDING MEMORIZATION VID-
EO ON THE USB FLASH DRIVE. PAUSE THE VIDEO AS
NEEDED TO FILL OUT THIS BOOKLET.
4
HERE’S HOW IT WORKS:
1. Although we suggest that you do, you do NOT
need to read The Subtle Art (…) to learn and
apply its key points. We’ve already done the hard
work for you.
2. Watch the video provided on the USB flash drive.
3. Pause the video as needed to fill out the booklet.
4. Don’t worry about finishing all at once. Stop.
Start. Come back. It’s all up to you.
5. Apply the techniques discussed in the booklet to
your life.
6. Notice the results. This stuff really works!
 WHAT DO WE MEAN BY “NOT GIVING A F*CK”?

1. It’s important to note that “Not Giving a F*ck”

does NOT equate to apathy. It does not mean
that you do not care about anything. Quite the
opposite in fact—at its core, “Not Giving a F*ck”
is about prioritization. It requires that you are
comfortable with your imperfections and that
you accept your problems.
It means:
It’s OK to be an outcast.
It’s OK to pursue your dreams.
It’s OK to not care about embarrassment.
You must decide—what is my worthwhile pur-
pose? If you don’t do this, you’ll fill the extra
space with trivial concerns.
QUESTION
What is something that you currently care about
that you know is not that important?
Example (from the book): Mark always wanted to be
seen as a ladies man. He gained fulfillment by having
wild adventures on the weekends. If he wasn’t “success-
ful” on a Friday night, he thought himself a failure…
Example: Whenever I post a picture on Instagram, I
check it a few times every hour to see how many likes I
received…

5
 DON’T FEEL BAD ABOUT FEELING BAD

2. Right before a game-winning shot, Lebron James

does not think about HOW to properly shoot a QUESTION
basketball. He doesn’t worry about form or spac-
ing—he just lets it fly. Imagine your biggest failure. What do you feel bad
about? What aspect of your life are you most em-
This is called “Flow” or “Being in the Zone.” The barrassed about?
same theory applies to enlightenment. The Bud-
dha says that you only reach Nirvana after you Example: By far and away I’m most embarrassed by my
stop searching for it. finances. It’s not that I’m financially insecure. In fact, I’m
very comfortable—but compared to my friends…
And so too Mark suggests that if we’re concerned
about happiness, we have to stop worrying about
feeling bad. An overemphasis on “positive think-
ing” only further emphasizes what’s wrong, and
thus, creates more unhappiness.

QUESTION

Now write a brief letter to yourself about why this

is OK. (Note: this doesn’t mean you don’t want to
improve, it just means you accept it as a reality)

Example: Dear XYZ,You’re right about your finances. It’s

been a tough road so far—and you know the reasons
why. But I forgive you for your current situation. There’s
nothing to do about the past. Feeling upset about where
you are right now only exacerbates the problem…

6
 HAPPINESS IS SOLVING PROBLEMS

3. The truth is that you will always have problems. If

you have a billion dollars—you’ll have problems. QUESTION
If you win the Super Bowl—you’ll have problems.
If you’re awarded the Nobel Prize—you’ll have What are you most stressed out about right now?
problems.
Example: I’m stressed about my relationship. My wife
Problems are inevitable. And in fact—they’re and I have been fighting…
great.

Mark goes as far as to say,“happiness comes from

solving problems.” In other words—positive
emotions come from making progress against
your problems; whereas negative emotions come
from unsolved problems.

QUESTION

Reword this stressor as an unsolved problem.

Example: My problem is that my wife and I are not doing

well…

QUESTION

Now imagine that this problem is completely

solved—or in the least—that you’ve made progress.
Now how do you feel?
NOTE
Example: I feel…happier!
Point? If you want to feel better—start
solving the problem.

7
 BECOME GREAT BY KNOWING YOU’RE NOT

4. We all want to be great at something—a lot of

things even. Whether it’s being a great spouse, QUESTION
parent, teammate, coworker, boss, or athlete—
it’s a natural instinct to want to be the best. What’s your current expertise? What are you “the
best” at?
Though ironically, to be the best, you must em-
brace your current weaknesses. You don’t be- Example: I make a killer Lasagna…
come the best by being the best; you become
the best by knowing that you’re NOT the best,
and then striving to incrementally improve every
single day: one percent by one percent by one
percent.

QUESTION

In this area—what do you still have to learn?

Example: On my first trip to Rome I still remember the

Lasagna I had at “La Ristorante”—the difference was
the cheese, I think. If I ever want to improve I need to…

NOTE

Acknowledging that you aren’t perfect

gets you closer to perfection.

8
 ENTITLEMENT AND THE DELUSION OF PERFECTION

5. In today’s world of instant gratification and social

media—it’s easy to think that everyone else’s life QUESTION
is stunning: constant waterfalls, vacations, beauti-
ful meals and adventurous mountain climbs—and Who is your favorite celebrity/mentor who you
so too should be yours. But this is dangerous. think has the “perfect” life? Why that person?

Sure, your life will have its highlights, but don’t be Example: Anthony Robbins. I feel like he never has a bad
fooled by the filter of Instagram and Facebook. day…like he’s figured out some all-inclusive formula for
Most of your life (and everyone else’s for that happiness…
matter) will not be noteworthy. But this is OK!
The opposite—a grandiose, overindulgent view
of the world—is actually quite dangerous.

Undeserved high self-esteem, due to Likes or

easy-popularity leads to entitlement, and entitle-
ment often leads to laziness.

QUESTION

Now imagine them in the bathroom getting ready

for bed. What are they doing? Does such tedium
look any different than your life?

Example: He’s picking up his toothbrush, probably talking

to his wife…In reality, not too much different than mine.
Not different at all in fact.

9
 THE METALLICA SYNDROME

6. Mark says that our barometers for success are

moving targets. They change depending on our
circumstance.
As an example, when Dave Mustaine was kicked
out of the ultra-popular rock band Metallica, he
vowed that they’d rue the day they let him go—
that he would start a world famous rock band.
And he did! Megadeth sold more than 25 million
albums.
But guess what? He still thought of himself as a
failure. Why? Because Metallica sold 180 million
records…
QUESTION
Imagine you’re giving some advice to Dave Mus-
taine—tell him why he shouldn’t be so hard on him-
self for selling ONLY 25 million records.
Example: Dave—you’re being crazy. It may be true that
Metallica sold more copies than you, but it’s also import-
ant to note that you’re rich, famous, and have the free-
dom to be an artist, to do something you love with your
life—which not many people do…

The point is—don’t expect that one day all

your problems will disappear just because you
reached some panicle of “success.” Enough is
never enough. That’s why it’s important to learn
how to enjoy what you already have.
QUESTION

What’s an aspect of your life where you’re too hard

on yourself? Where you’re unhappy because you’re
not yet “perfect”?

Example: My weight. I theoretically know what to do, but

I just can’t do it. I always give myself some excuse as to
why…

10
 SHITTY VALUES (CHOOSE WHAT YOU SUFFER FOR)

7. It’s important to note that Mark is NOT trying

to convince you that there’s no way to improve
your life, nor is he theorizing that you should
just go sit in a corner somewhere and “accept
things.” But he is suggesting that no matter what,
there is going to be some form of pain in your
life. At times—suffering. It’s inevitable.
So instead of convincing yourself through “the
power of positive thinking” that everything is
perfect—choose what you’re willing to suffer
FOR.
QUESTION
Let’s imagine you have a child who wants to win their
grade school’s mile race. They wake up early every
morning to train, they eat right, they sleep right, and
they run as fast as they can on race day—but they
get second place. Are they a failure? Why not?
Example: Of course not. You can’t be a failure if you do
everything in your power…

What are your values that you can count on

when the going gets tough?

A good value should be socially constructive,

within your control, and based in reality. As an
example: honesty, charity, or standing up for oth-
ers.

NOTE

The reason this child is not a failure is

that your metric is not “win or lose,”
your metric is whether or not they act-
ed correctly. You must apply this same
metric to your life.

11
 IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT, BUT IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

8. Often people confuse being at fault with being

responsible—but they are not the same. QUESTIONS

Fault is concerned with the past. You were at Was this negative outcome your fault?
fault.
YES NO
Responsibility is concerned with the present. It is
my responsibility.
With regards to finding a solution, does it matter
And now here’s the kicker—whether an occur- whose fault it is?
rence was or was not your fault is completely
irrelevant. The only thing that matters now is— YES NO
what are you going to do next?

What can you do about solving this problem (How

can you take responsibility for the future)? List three
ideas…

QUESTION Example: I need to explain to that manager the impor-

tance of noting on the order that UPS must ship only
What’s a mistake someone else made in the past using a flatbed truck.
week that negatively affected your life (at work or
home)? What happened? 1.

Example: At work, a shipment didn’t arrive on time at

our warehouse because one of the managers forgot to
explain to UPS that they needed to bring a small truck…

2.

3.

12
 THE NECESSITY OF CHANGE

9. Manson’s goal here is to give us a guidebook for

how to choose which values we care about, as QUESTION
well as for how to choose the appropriate met-
rics to measure our success with (in order to live What’s the most significant (positive) change you’ve
in accordance with those values). made in your life?

Everything else is futile and will only cause you Example: A few years ago I became a vegetarian. I did
further pain. this for my health because…

But as you make these changes, after reemphasiz-

ing only those aspects of your life which are truly
important (and forgetting the rest)—you’ll come
against resistance from those around you who
still hold onto those old markers and values.

For example—if you leave Facebook because

you feel that it is a distraction from your fami- QUESTION
ly—many people will battle this change.

What resistance did you come up against amongst

your peer group?

Example: I remember my work colleagues teasing me

with meat all the time—saying that I was too political,
that meat was healthy for me…

NOTE

The next time you take positive ac-

tions in your life, you will once again
come up against resistance. This is OK.
Just know that it’s coming.

13
 CERTAINTY BREEDS INSECURITY

10. Certainty is dangerous because it breeds 1) over-

confidence, 2) insecurity, and 3) complacency. QUESTION

If you’re too certain about who you are, when
circumstances change, you’ll inevitably feel inse-
cure about your place in the world. If you’re cer-
tain that you’re the best salesman for example,
but your co-worker gets the promotion instead
of you—what does that say about you?
Who are you? Describe who you are now. What’s
changed?
Example: Now I work at a Ford Dealer working on cars.
I realized that it’s much easier and more stable to work
at a single location…

The truth is that never finding out who you are

is a good thing because it means that you are
always striving to be a better version of yourself.

QUESTION QUESTION

Who were you? Describe who you were ten years Who do you want to be? Describe who you will be
ago. What were you certain about? in 10 years. What’s changed?

Example: I used to be crazy about motorcycles. I thought Example: I’m probably selling myself short. There’s still
I would be a traveling motorcycle mechanic… that adventurous part of me, but I haven’t been able to
take the risk of starting my own company. In ten years I’d
like to be able to own a shop, so that if I want to travel…

REMEMBER

Change is inevitable. It’s OK, in fact,

encouraged, for you to change your
mind—to become a new you.

14
 KILL THE OLD YOU

11. To continue from the previous point—Mark de-

scribes what he calls “The Law of Avoidance.” In QUESTION
short—you will avoid what challenges the way
you see yourself. What’s your hardest held belief? Describe it.

What if you’re a hard lined Republican, but a lib- Example: I’m certain that sex before marriage is the ul-
eral policy turns out to be wildly successful in timate sin…that if someone acts against God’s will…
your area? Or vice versa? The Law of Avoidance
predicts that instead of using this policy as new
evidence to change your worldview, you’ll instead
avoid acknowledging its reality.

Our beliefs are stubborn creatures.

If you ever want to make lasting positive change

in your life—you must kill the old you and ev- QUESTION
erything he/she previously believed. Start from
scratch, and you’ll have a much easier time build-
ing a new and improved Empire. Now imagine you held the exact opposite belief. Ar-
gue the other side.

Example: By having sex before marriage, a couple can

find out if they are sexually compatible before commit-
ting their lives to each other, and in this way, it’s actually
a positive because it would prevent…

NOTE

It’s not necessary to change this belief,

but it is important to practice seeing
things differently, lest you disallow new
evidence to improve your life.

15
 FAILURE/PAIN AS A POSITIVE
12. Mark is all about turning conventional tropes on
their head. Anthony Robbins, for example, insists
that life is all about avoiding pain. But Mark dis-
agrees—Pain is not necessarily a bad thing. Nor
is failure.
Let’s imagine someone who is better than you at
something—isn’t it true that this simply means
that they’ve practiced more?—or better yet, that
they’ve FAILED more than you have? To build the
muscle memory of what works, you also must
build the muscle memory of what doesn’t work.
When you feel pain—this is good—it means
you’re learning.
16
QUESTION
Describe a time in your life when you felt a lot of
pain (emotionally or physically)…
Example: I’ll never forget my first girlfriend. I was so stu-
pid in how I went about breaking up with her, trying to
look cool in front of my friends—but the look on her face
still haunts me to this day…
QUESTION
What did you learn? Did it cause you to change in
some way?
Example: Ironically, I learned that it’s never worth it to
use someone else’s pain for your own pleasure or to
“look cool.” I was young, I know, and I forgive myself, but
ever since that day I’ve always tried to be honest and
kind when dealing with girlfriends….
 ACTION LEADS TO MOTIVATION

13. We often convince ourselves that we don’t act

because we’re not motivated to act, when in fact,
the opposite is the case.
Action begets motivation. Do you want to write
a novel? Sit in the chair and start writing.This will
surely motivate you. Do you want to lose some
weight? Go to the gym. This will build momen-
tum. Do you want to save more money? Go to
the bank and talk to an advisor.
QUESTION
What’s something you want to accomplish this year
that you haven’t yet started working on?
Example: I spend a lot of time at work, and it’s affecting
my relationship with my daughter. I told myself I’d make
sure to hang out with her more but…

We need to measure our success not by any par-

ticular outcome, but simply by whether or not
we’re taking steps towards completing that out-
come.

QUESTION

What’s an action you can take today to start the ball

rolling?

Example: I’m going to sit down with her today and build
a schedule for “hang out” days.We’ll design a calendar of
events that we can share together…that I’ll be account-
able to…

HINT

Now go do it!

17
 MEANING COMES FROM COMMITMENT

14. Some self-help gurus insist that you must say yes
to everything: QUESTION

“Be open to the world”—“Don’t turn down What are the three most important values you are
what could be a great opportunity” etc. etc. committed to embodying?

But saying yes to everything means that you stand Example: I want to be a hardworking person, an honest
for nothing. person…

Meaning comes from commitment: committing

1.
to your values, to your family, to who you want
to be—these are worthwhile endeavors. In fact,
2.
it requires that you say NO to everything else.
3.

QUESTION QUESTION

Who are the three most important people in your What are your five biggest distractions, those as-
life? Who are you committed to? pects of your life that take up too much of your time
compared to who and what is actually important?
Example: My wife…
Example: I will say no to always watching “the game” in
my den.
1.

2. 1. I will say no to…

3.
2. I will say no to...

3. I will say no to...

4. I will say no to...

5. I will say no to...

18
 CONFLICT (IN RELATIONSHIPS) IS GOOD

15. By this point, you have probably figured out that

Mark’s advice is a bit unconventional. So much so
that he theorizes that conflict in relationships…
is a good thing!
But guess what? He’s right.
QUESTION
What’s something that you currently want to say to
that person, but you haven’t had the courage to say it
(because you’re scared it will ruin your relationship)?

Not all conflict of course—Always arguing is not Example: I’ve been upset about…I know it sounds silly
something to strive for. but I keep asking my husband not to throw our new
towels on the floor…but he refuses to acknowledge that
But at its core, being able to articulate open and it’s important…
honestly how you feel—this is a sign of strength
in a relationship, not weakness. You must be able
to disagree; you must be able to persevere to-
gether in spite of stressful situations—because if
you do, you’ll come out stronger in the end.

Struggle breeds trust.

QUESTION QUESTION

What’s an event in the past that you and your signif- Now go say it. Talk it out. Bite the bullet. Then come
icant other (or best friend or mom/dad) overcame back and answer this question—did that honesty
and are now stronger because of it? strengthen or ruin your relationship?

Example: When we first started dating, I had a miscar-
riage. It was devastating. I felt insecure, uncomfortable—
like I had let him down—but in the end, he was so nice
about the whole experience, it made me love him that
much more…
Example: I feel so much better now. At first, he was angry
and defensive but the more that I assured him that I
loved him, that it was just a small thing…we ended up
hugging it out. I’m really glad we talked about it.

19
MY OWN NOTES

20
MY OWN NOTES

21