A Teacher's Passion

by Doreen Joy P. Eniaca (BSIT-2)

It was in the middle of October. The heavy rain kept pouring, due to the typhoons and because the
rainy season already started in September. I was wrapped up in my black suit with my white shirt tucked
underneath it. I stared at my phone, trying to search for ways to make my lesson easier to understand
for my students.

I missed my students' laughters, our critical discussions and exchange of ideas. I missed how their
little improvements had made my eyes smile and how their effort to recite had filled my heart with
pride. I missed them seeing in the school premises, asking "When are we going to meet for our class
again, Professor Raj?". Or their simple "Good morning, Mr. Garcia!"

It almost seems yesterday when I didn't bother much on doing videocalls and zoom meetings,
especially having to teach my students through online platforms. Luckily, I was inclined to technology, a
tech-savvy. Yet, I also struggled especially at first and up until now of which made me thought of how
much struggle other teachers experience.

At my fifth year of teaching in a private university, I have experienced lots of difficulties but this year
proved to be the most challenging. I had grown stubbles with the stress and obstacles this pandemic had
wedged in my mind. I also lost weight due to the continuous and unending paperworks. I had to stay all
night to create and print modules for my now 20 students in my Elementary Statistics class which used
to be over 50. Most of my other students had not enrolled due to lack of means and budget to afford
online learning.

At first, I had struggled a lot, with the internet connection and the delivery of instruction.
Sometimes, during our lesson, I always experience network interruption and so does my students which
in return affects our lesson. Weeks went on and somehow I had managed to cope with the new shift
and mode of education. I know that it is not only me who is experiencing these problems but also our
students. I have read various negative comments and posts of which parents and students point to
teachers. Reading one always breaks my heart. Specifically, I always feel a lot more anxious when I read
posts, saying that teachers shouldn't be given compensation because they don't really do much work
nowadays when in fact, we do work. Teaching had became more complex with the pandemic. I'd never
wanted it. We never wanted because no one wanted this. I had to make sure that my internet
connection is always secured. I installed different apps on my phone and laptop and learned how to use
it. I always practice my lessons beforehand and made sure that my students have learned our lesson.

With the continuous stress, lack of sleep and exposure to radiation, my health had declined. Despite
that, I still did my best to teach my students with all my might which led me to hospital. My doctor had
advised me to fully rest and not do works at the hospital so I can recover quickly. I'd wanted to but I
don't want my students to be left behind. My passion to teach my students overpowered my need to
recover. I still continued despite my condition. Due to that, my stay at the hospital had become longer.

Today, like the other days, I opened my laptop and phone. I started teaching despite my condition. Upon
seeing me with my worser condition, my students became very worried than they were the past weeks.
At the end of our lesson, they told me that they didn't want to have a new teacher because they had
grown close to me. They said that they'd always understand my lessons easily and my enthusiasm in
teaching had always made our lesson interesting and fun. They'd told me that I shouldn't be affected in
the negative posts that are aimed at teachers because they know that teachers also struggle and do
their best in the midst of this pandemic. And that made my heart swell with happiness. I felt contented,
knowing that they appreciated my efforts. It made me realize that I need to really follow my doctor's
advices. I do not want to leave my students behind. As much as they wanted me to stay, so do I.

I was forced to bade goodbye to my students for the meantime so that I can recover quickly and be
back to my everyday routine.

After 2 weeks, my health had improved. I had returned to teaching my students online. Now, I have
become more aware of how I manage my time as well as my health. I've come to understand that I need
to take care of my self and my health so that I can teach and do my duties well. I can't let my health
deteriorate again. As much as my passion for teaching enlivens me, I need to find time to relax. We only
live once and I want to live long so I can infuse my enthusiasm in learning to the upcoming generations. I
need to inculcate in my students' minds the impact that a teacher can make. To make them understand
that we, teachers, also struggle to find the right footing in the shift of teaching caused by Covid-19. We
also try to survive and do our best to teach them efficiently despite the challenges.