PARENTING STYLE

First Speaker: Sharmaine Batrisyia Lai

Second Speaker: Nur Atikah Syazwani

Third Speaker: Siti Nurmisya Amira

Fourth Speaker: Nurasyiqin

First Speaker

Today, our forum will consist of 3 important guest which are psychiatrist from Hospital Kuala Lumpur, Dr
Nur Atikah. On her left, Madam Siti Nurmisya Amira a businesswoman with 4 kids. Next is Madam
Nurasyiqin a housewife. As we know, over the past 7 years, the number of reported child abuse cases
has steadily increased from year to year. There are many reasons behind the rise of the child abuse
cases. One of the reason is because of parenting style. For instance, the latest issue is that a parent
beating their child because of not perform their prayer. In psychology today, there are about 4 major
recognized parenting style which are authoritative, neglectful, permissive and also authoritarian. Each
one of the parenting style carries different characteristics and brings about different reaction in the
children which they are used on. About this parenting style, can you explain more about them, Dr Atikah
?

Second Speaker

There are four major recognized parenting styles: authoritative, neglectful, permissive, and
authoritarian. Each parenting style varies in at least four areas: discipline style, communication,
nurturance, and expectations. Authoritarian Parenting. Authoritarian parents are often thought of as
disciplinarians. They use a strict discipline style and punishment is common. Rules usually are not
explained. Expectations are high with limited flexibility. Authoritative Parenting. Children with parents
who demonstrate this style tend to be self-disciplined and think for themselves. These parents are
demanding and responsive. Disciplinary rules are clear and the reasons behind them are explained.
Permissive Parenting. Permissive parents mostly let their children do what they want, and offer limited
guidance or direction. They are more like friends than parents. They’re lenient and they have no rules
and mostly let children figure problems out on their own. These parents let children decide for
themselves rather than giving direction. Neglectful Parenting.. Neglectful parents give children a lot of
freedom and generally stay out of their way. Some parents may make a conscious decision to parent in
this way, while others are less interested in parenting or unsure of what to do. Nowadays parents tend
to be permissive to their children.

First Speaker

Thank you Dr for your explanation so we can get to know more about the characteristics of different
types of parenting styles. But seems nowadays, modern parents are too permissive with their children
which is really different from traditional parents. Parenting style of parents towards their child effect
their children behavior. This parenting method that at first glance seems to favor the child positively but
it is really so? Madam Misya , as a businesswoman and also as a mother of 4 children what is your
opinion on this kind of parenting style?

Third Speaker

Well, thank you. In my opinion, this style of parenting has very few rules and expectations of children.
Most times, the parents are loving and express caring about their children, but they don’t see their
children as mature or capable enough to carry out certain tasks or responsibilities that require self-
control. They rarely discipline their children and they also avoid confrontation whenever possible.
Instead of setting rules and expectations or trying to prevent problems from happening, they choose to
instead let children figure things out for themselves. As for me, I also use this kind of parenting in certain
situation. I will be very nurturing and loving towards my kids. Then, I may use bribery such as toys, gifts
and food as a means to get child to behave and I will emphasize my children's freedom rather than
responsibility but at the same time, I have few rules or standards of behavior for my children.

First Speaker

Thank you for your opinion Madam Misya. So, do you think that there is any disadvantages for being a
permissive parent?

Third Speaker

In my opinion, Children raised by permissive parents tend to lack self-discipline, possess poor social
skills, may be self-involved and demanding, and may feel insecure due to the lack of boundaries and
guidance. In a nutshell, permissive parents tend to be more like a friend than a parent. They are very
loving, and they care for their children. However they don’t discipline them, or make them learn about
responsibility. This is because permissive parenting involves a lack of demands and expectations,
children raised by parents with this style tend to grow up without a strong sense of self-discipline. They
may be more unruly in school due to the lack of boundaries in the home, and may be less academically
motivated than many of their peers. Since these parents have few requirements for mature behavior,
children may lack skills in social settings. While they may be good at interpersonal communication, they
lack other important skills such as sharing the big question when it comes to permissive parenting is
“who is in charge – the parent or the child?” The older the child gets, the more apparent it will become
that in fact the child is to a large extent in charge. The child learns that the parent wants to avoid
conflict, so the minute there is any sign of a tantrum or strong argument, the parent will give in to
whatever the child wants or demands. If the parent tries to put their foot down in some area, it may
result in a tremendous power struggle as the child has now become used to calling the shots and getting
what they want. Other than that, the clash between wants and needs, critical compromises and more.

First Speaker

Thank you for answering my question. Now we are cleared with permissive parenting style. Moving on
to the next panel Madam Syiqin, what is your kind of parenting style? Is it the same as Madam Misya
which is using permissive style of parenting?
Fourth Speaker

Thank you. So, not every parent runs his or her family the same way. As for me, I provide my children
with a lot of love and warmth in addition to limits and fair discipline. I do allow them to express
opinions, I listen to their opinions but I place limits, consequences, and expectations on their behaviors. I
will always express warmth and nurturing them. Young children feel empathy, and want to be helpful.
So we can help kids develop moral reasoning skills by talking with them about how our behavior impacts
others. I take my child's wishes and feelings into consideration before I ask her to do something. I
provide them with reasons for the expectations I have for them. For a very young child, this might mean
simply explaining why she can't touch something. That's not for you! It's too hot! It could burn you! But
for older kids, it means talking with them about the reasons for our policies and rules. I respect my
child's opinion and encourage him or her to express them even if they are different from my own. The
child should know who holds the authority but I will also allow opportunities for them to voice their
thoughts and feelings so that they will know how to manage their emotions. By approaching to
discipline may help prevent aggression. I find "discipline" to be an interesting word with regards to
parenting. It also indicates them to be able to stick to a difficult path despite temptations.

First Speaker

Thank you for your explanation Madam Syiqin. So, do you think that this kind of parenting works?

Fourth Speaker

Thank you. So basically for my children, Alhamdulillah, it works. I can see that they are more likely to
become independent, self-reliant, socially accepted, academically successful, and well-behaved. They
are less likely to report depression and anxiety as I expects maturity and cooperation, and offers my
children with lots of emotional support. . I make sure the child have a clear boundaries that they should
know who holds the authority but I will also allow opportunities for them to voice their thoughts and
feelings so that they will know how to manage their emotions. If you provide them with consistent rules
and discipline, it will allow them to know what to expect. It might help to view this parenting style as
balance between discipline, emotional control, and allowing independence. We should try to not be too
harsh nor too lenient. You can start by letting your children make more decisions, but also have regular
discussions about those choices. With time, attention and flexibility to your precious children’s needs,
this parenting will become more natural.

First Speaker

As we all know that there are 4 types of parenting style and two of them have been explained by
Madam Misya and Madam Syiqin, can you explain more about the another two types of parenting style,
Dr Atikah?
Second Speaker

Neglectful parenting is one of the most harmful styles. They give children a lot of freedom and generally
stay out of their way. Parents who tend towards neglectful parenting styles can be easily helped through
education; this education can be found by talking to the family doctor, or going to a therapist or
counselor. Neglectful parenting is damaging to children, because they have no trust foundation with
their parents from which to explore the world. An uninvolved parent lets a child mostly do what he
wants, probably out of a lack of information or caring. . There are few or no expectations of children.
Beyond that, children who have a negative or absent relationship with their parent will have a harder
time forming relationships with other people, particularly children their age. If you suspect that you or a
friend of yours may be a neglectful parent, it is important to seek help in a way that does not damage
the child further or intrude into their life in a disruptive manner

Authoritarian parenting is characterized by parents who are demanding but not responsive.
Authoritarian parents allow for little open dialogue between parent and child and expect children to
follow a strict set of rules and expectations. They use a strict discipline style with little negotiation
possible. Punishment is common. Rules usually are not explained. Parents with this style are typically
less nurturing. Expectations are high with limited flexibility

First Speaker

Thank you for explaining more details about authoritarian and neglectful parenting style. So for now we
all are aware about all the parenting style. Putting it in a nutshell, they are slightly different between all
the parenting styles that were used on children but still they are the same in some ways. Every parents
have different types of parenting style. Point of view of parent might be different with other parents. So,
it’s up to each parents to decide which type of parenting style are most effective for them to use on
their children.