Neglecting Yourself Doesn’t Make You a Better Mother

Showering and eating regularly can be a form of self-care

When she was pregnant with her son Isaac, her friends who were already mothers advised
her to take as many showers as possible before the birth because she would not have time
later. As her husband who is a very involved dad takes the shower every morning,

Steph Herold of Queens said she's someone who's never

really

Steph Herold of Queens said she's someone who's never really been good at taking care of
herself, and the first few months of the pandemic were like her fourth trimester.
Taking care of yourself has become a question: "What must I do to feel human today?
When Ms. Herold's son is awake, she reads books to him, does the dishes, or works remotely
- without lying on the couch with a novel.
Joy Harden Bradford, a psychologist in Atlanta explained that self-care has been fully
commercialized by the wellness industry, but it doesn't have to be expensive or even cost
anything. Instead, she advised viewing self-care as "all the things you need to do mentally,
physically, and spiritually to keep going."
Dr Joy also recommended setting aside a short pocket of time at the start or end of the day
to listen to a short meditation. track, journal or practice gratitude for the little things and
definitely find time to bathe and eat.
“We can't really have a conversation about personal care and separate it from the awful
systems that have been lit by the Covid crisis,” And even when the pandemic is over, how
many dinners, solo runs, or Netflix parties would suffice to restore a healthy sense of self?
The author gave the example of Mrs. Emma Kate Tsai who announced that she will die if she
did like some moms who get up at 4 in the morning to exercise and instead, she takes a nap
20 minutes between her children's schedules and then feels bad about it
Psychiatrist Dr Pooja has founded a digital education platform "Gemma" focused on
women's mental health that has been bombarded with requests for help from moms in need
of self-care the doctor suggests we have to start through new little habits to develop
tolerance
when you become a mom, you have less time. Less time to relax, to have fun. Less time to
have fun, to read ... We are ALWAYS running! Our improvised outings and drinking
evenings with friends are quickly replaced by hours of folding laundry or cooking macaroni
platters. And we do it with pleasure for our family ...
But the thing is, you're running out of time, so obviously you start to neglect yourself. And
comes the guilt. This famous feeling that comes automatically with your new life as a
mother and which will henceforth be omnipresent. You feel ugly and baggy. But know that
there is nothing more wrong than that. The woman you were is still here. It's just that for
now, she's putting on her super mom costume. And that, in my opinion, is really sexy.

And one day, take two minutes to do your makeup. You will see, you are always the same
you! Or one evening, in the dark, send fatigue for a walk and let yourself go without
complex or restraint. Know that your boyfriend understands. And it is obvious that he has
never found you as beautiful as now because you are no longer just his girlfriend, but the
mother of his children!

Knowing how to take care of yourself or neglect yourself depends on both our personal
history and our education
To these starting data, emphasizes Michèle Freud, are added the positive or negative
messages transmitted by our education. "This conditioning determines our behavior: not
daring to take time for yourself without guilt, considering that taking care of yourself is a
waste of time, a proof of selfishness, associating rest and laziness ..." All these beliefs,
more or less conscious, can make us deaf to our needs and slow down our aspiration for
well-being.
We all have excuses to neglect ourselves in good faith. "I don't have time to take care of
myself", "I have better things to do than lounging in an institute", "I can't afford to pamper
myself" are the shield excuses that l 'we put forward most of the time.