For use with the Life's Answers tape series entitled What God Has Joined Together

Life's Answers Teaching Series (Audio Cassettes with Study Guides)

Assignment Against the Church
Freedom from Insecurity and Inferiority
God's Covenant with Your Family
How to Fight for Your Family
Millionaire Mentality
Mobilizing Believers
Purchasing and Negotiations
The Power of God's Prophetic Purpose
Prayer Command Center The Prevailing Power of Prayer
Success in Business
r
rue Success: How to Find the Field God Has Planted for You
The Unshakable Foundation
Victory in Spiritual Warfare
What God Has Joined Together

Gary Whetstone Publishing

P.O. Box 10050
Wilmington, DE 19850-0050 U.S.A. Phone: (302) 324-5400
Fax: (302) 324-5448
Web Site: www.gwwm.com
E-mail: info@gwwm.com

© 2003, 1996, 1993 by Gary V. Whetstone ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Published 2003 Printed in the United States of America
SINGLE PREPARATION: IN THE BEGINNING

TEXT: Mark 10:6-9

* We must understand single before we understand married. I. ORIGINAL CREATION IS

SINGLE-SEXED

A. Gen. 1:27

Male = the male man

Female = mankind with a womb

Created = bara-to produce something out of nothing; a new thing

 B. Gen. 2:18, 27-22-Making of woman

Man = come from red; denotes the human race Alone - in his separation or in separation

state; by itself Helpmeet = aide; a helper; from the root word to surround, as in protect

Rib = a man's side. Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh indi-

cates a good portion of Adam's being became woman.

Taken = laid hold of (seized)

Made = formed out of something that exists

Woman = issha-woman; wife; mate. She is depicted as the physical counterpart of man, thus deserving
of unswerving loyalty.

II. ORIGINAL UNION PLAN

A. Gen. 2:24

Leave = to loosen; forsake; refuse; leave destitute

Cleave = to cling; adhere; to catch by pursuit; fasten together

Wife = same as Gen. 2:23

One = united; in union

Flesh = body; with Hebrew understanding, refers to and includes more than sexual unity

B. Covenant-shedding of blood-hymen (with one mate first time for always)

III. THE BINDING EFFECT SPIRITUALLY WHEN SEX OUTSIDE OF

MARRIAGE OCCURS

A. A covenant act with a non-covenant partner throws off every created intention
and system within both parties.

1. Perversion = the state of being turned away from that which is

right, natural, or true

2. Deception = the act or practice of deceiving or misleading

(making one believe what is not true)

3. Bondage = voluntary or involuntary subjection to some force,

compulsion, or influence

B. This spiritual bondage, or flesh, or lust and control, passes through generations.

1. Youthful immorality

Eze. 23:2-3

Sex became obsessive, and mental imagery followed. Eze. 23:15, 17-18
 Mind alienated (v. 17-18) = to tear away; to draw and quarter; or as
to rip apart

2. Has. 4:12-14

Spiritual bondage transmits to children and spouse when either party has had premarital relations.

IV. BREAK THE TIES THAT BIND

A. Covenant action with all sexual partners outside marriage

B. Covenant words with all other partners outside marriage

C. Second virginity must be reset for marriage union to be blessed!

D. Current marriages must have the spirit of adultery removed, as well as any
and all words that have the power to limit full engagement with covenant in
marriage.
MARRIAGE IN THE BEGINNING, THE FALL, AND
REDEMPTION

TEXT: Gen. 2:15, 18

I. THE WORKING, CULTIVATING, UNDERSTANDING, AND PROTECTING

MAN

A. The role of provider

1. He finds the field God planted and does not stray from it, but stays gut.

Focused, fixed, and abundance flows

Gen. 2:8-9

2. He finds God teaching him to profit.

Lets God teach and lead

Isa. 48:17

3. He replenishes all that becomes depleted or consumed, without

complaining or negativity.

Gen. 1:28 Phi. 2:13-15

B. The role of cultivator-to bring things from their seed stage to maturation
and multiplication

1. The provision of a loving, supportive environment conducive to growth

of wife and family
 Eph. 5:25-31

2. Lives to serve and keep the "growing going"

Mat. 20:25-28

C. The role of understanding with gentleness and to honor wife

1. The wife never feeling the sense of being misunderstood, but always

supported with knowledge, respect, and honor / Pet. 3:7

2. He includes her with him in life, and appreciates her contribution and support with proven gentleness.

Jam. 3:13 Gen. 2:23

D. The role of protector-he provides a Word and prayer wall around wife, family, work, and church.

1 The husband/father spiritually accepting the Word in the guarding and training role

Example: Abraham in Gen. 18:19

2. The husband/father spiritually accepting prayer in the guarding and petitioning role

Neh. 7:2-3

II. THE AIDING, SUPPORTING, PROTECTING, COMPLETING - NOT

COMPETING - WIFE

A. She knows her place with her husband in agreement, and does not build
agreements outside of the home without her husband. No division. She is
developed in life to complete her husband.

Gen. 2:18 Pro. 14:1 Luke 11:17

B. She applies all her gifting and strength to build the home (family).

Pro. 31:10-31

III. THE DESTRUCTIVE FORCE OF SIN-THE FALL!

A. Lust dominates the relationship.

1. Gen. 3:6

2. 1 John 2:16

B. Man goes as low as the Fig Leaf Syndrome-"The Great Cover-up."

Gen. 3:7

C. Man now experiences fear, and does not want accountability and repentance.

Gen. 3:10-12
 D. The curse on marriage for woman

Gen. 3:16

Desire = stretching out after; a longing

Rule over = to have dominion; reign; having ruling power over

The curse has brought the wife to a state of greatly-multiplied sorrow and total subjugation to her husband.

Before the curse there was:

3. Equality of creation-male and female

4. Leadership of man in love and wisdom

5. Relationship as helpmeet without subjugation, but by cooperation

E. The curse on marriage for men

Gen. 3:17-19

IV. THE REDEMPTION FOR MEN AND WOMEN EQUALLY

A. Seed of woman bruises Satan's head.

Gen. 3:15 <

B. Accepted and redeemed us

Eph. 1:5-7

C. New creation in Christ

2 Cor. 5:17

D. Neither male nor female

Gal. 3:26-28

E. Restored to right fellowship

/ Pet. 3:7

THE BLOOD HAS POWER TO REMOVE MARITAL CURSE!

HEADSHIP, SUBMISSION, and SUBJECTION: THREE DISTORTED
WORDS EXPLAINED

TEXT: Eph. 5:22-24

INTRODUCTION
Because of the curse in Gen. 3:16, marriage has been brought under the bondage of wrong thinking. Some of this wrong
thinking is in the areas of authority, headship, submission, and subjection. Many families have been ruined, wives
oppressed, and single people made fearful in the marriage understanding, due to incorrect teaching. Today, I hope you
will receive some clarity.

I. THE BIBLICAL UNDERSTANDING OF AUTHORITY OR HEADSHIP

A. The right understanding from God's Word

6. Authority= power with the legal right to use it

7. Head = chief; supreme; or prominent

8. All who are chief (head) serve.

Mat. 20:25-28

B. The curse and how it is used

9. Men rule

Gen. 3:16

10. To get cooperation, you must exercise your right and make people follow.

Mat. 20:25

C. Authority is governed by responsibility.

D. Right authority has:

11. Dominion over the devil

12. Love and service to people

E. Wrong authority has:

13. Hard discipline for disobedience

14. Reward and punishment view toward subordinates

15. Manipulation, threat, and intimidation use to get its way

II. THE MALE'S CONFLICT

A. Trying to become what he already is

16. Husband is head

Eph. 5:23

17. Insecurity and inferiority due to power struggle; thus sees himself as
defeated!

Many times this originates in childhood through his mother, teachers, etc.
 B. Trying to force what he thinks leadership means and demanding the protection
of his stand

III. BIBLICAL UNDERSTANDING OF SUBMISSION AND SUBJECTION

A. The right understanding of submission and subjection

1. Submission = to yield the way to; to prefer before yourself as

unto the Lord

Eph. 5:22

2. Subjection = to arrange yourself under

Example: To duck, and let the husband bear the brunt of it.

Eph. 5:24

Note: Submit and subject are exclusively the right of the wife, not to be forced upon her.

B. The curse made woman:

1. Suppressed person, good only for childbearing and servile recognition in the home

2. Abuse became normal because of the male insecurity.

C. The Scripture gives us right placement.

/ Cor. 11:3-12

D. Can a woman teach?

18. Women are recognized.

Rom. 16:1-7

19. Women prophesying

Acts 21:8-11

20. The error is when a woman tries to be the head.

She is not to usurp authority over the man (husband). 1 Tim. 2:12

Usurp = base meaning is: one who with his own hands kills either others or himself; in this context, it
means: one who acts on his own accord to exercise dominion over

IV. CONFLICTS, WHICH OCCUR

A. Husbands become bitter.

Col. 3:17-19
 Heb. 12:15

B. Husbands want wives to submit where it is not proper.

Col. 3:18

Fit = be proper

C. Detailed study of 1 Pet. 2:20-3:7 surfaces many conflicts.

MARRIAGE: AGREEMENT FOR DOMINION

TEXT: Amos 3:3

INTRODUCTION

Strife, division, and arguments are common to all marriages; but they must be seen as an attack against agreement.

I. AGREEMENT

A. What is agreement?

21. Agreement = sound together; to be in one accord; to harmonize

22. The promise of agreement gives multiplied power and authority.

Agree in prayer

Mat. 18:19-20 10,000 times power Deu. 32:30

At the tower of Babel, God said of those who agreed, that once they began, nothing would be
restrained.

Gen. 11:6

They have dominion. Gen. 1:27-28

3. What are the key elements in agreement?

a. The first requirement is understanding-to see as one sees. An

example would be, to stand exactly where the other party is and to
see exactly what the other party sees, from the same point of view.

b. Without understanding, you do not appreciate the other's sound or

contribution.

Appreciate = to value; to esteem; to be conscious of the

significance or worth

c. Remember that Satan knows the power of agreement and tries to

divide so that you only see things your way.
 d. You must give time to listen.

B. Make a contribution, not a concession.

23. When the volume controls the conversation, you have no agreement,
only concessions.

24. Agreement is not give and take.

25. Not the nagging which brags of personal victory

Pro. 21:9; 27:15

II. THE DESTRUCTIVE POWER OF STRIFE AND DIVISION

A. Definitions:

Divided = to be at variance with one's self, or to rebel against one's self; to divide into opposing pans
against one

Mark 3:24-25 Luke 11:17

Example: Children siding with one parent

Strife = used in olden times, to electioneer for office by courting popular applause by trickery or low
arts; a desire to put one's self forward; to be at odds with another for the purpose of self-
promotion

7am. 3:14-16

Example: Using unrelated information to prove your point. Division = the state of standing

apart

B. What should I do if I am experiencing strife or division?

1. Forgive from the heart.

Mat. 18:35 2 Cor. 2:10-11

26. Give up your right to be right, and humble yourself.

7 Pet. 5:5-6

27. Stop speaking back, and listen; then respond with a soft answer.

Pro. 15:1

28. Quietly-away from the situation-take spiritual command, and bind

the spirits that may be present.

29. Let every day end its own conflict. Never carry on division or strife past
nightfall.
III. LET LOVE LEAD

Until you agree, nothing is accomplished. Always agree at the lowest level, and then build your agreement
levels, to have greater dominion.

1 Cor. 13:4-8 (AMP)

BUILDING COMMUNICATION SKILLS THROUGH THE WORD

TEXT: Gen. 2:18

INTRODUCTION

Communication = the exchange of ideas or thoughts; both listening and speaking one to another, by opening
ears when the other speaks

30. Communication can be verbal or non-verbal.

31. Expression and understanding one another.

32. Every marriage problem stems from mis- or poor communication.

I. THE FOUNDATION MUST BE LAID IN CHRIST

A. Mutual commitment to Jesus as Head and Lord

1 Cor. 3:9-15

B. Mutual commitment and accountability to the Word of God as the final

authority in any and all conflicts

Heb. 4:12-16

C. Know that you are joined in covenant with each other and the Lord.

33. A threefold chord is not quickly broken.

Ecc. 4:9-12

34. Do not even attempt to marry an unbeliever or one not walking in God's
Spirit with you.

2 Cor. 6:14-18

II. C. H. R. I. S. T.

C. Commitment to open up all areas of life without judging or criticizing each other; "no back doors!"
1 Sam. 14:6-7

H. Hear each other with an open heart. Let the spouse speak without interruption until all views or feelings are
expressed.

Mat. 13:15
 R. Respect the dignity and willingness to be honest in communication, even if the truth hurts. Always be
willing to forgive, and believe the best outcome.

1 Pel. 3:7

I. Involve yourself in the other's life as if it were your own. 1 Cor. 12:25-26

S. Satisfy your spouse's conversation and relationship needs by spending quality time alone. Always put your
spouse first before children, family, or job.

Luke 6:38

T. Trust the Christ within each other. Even if they fail, HE will not fail. Let trust build over time.

Pro. 31:11-12

Likewise, the wife's heart trusts.

III. BEGIN AT THE LEVEL WHERE YOU ACTUALLY ARE TODAY, AND DO NOT STOP THERE.

1st How are you doing? Using verbal cliches

Example: Husband comes home, buries face in newspaper; eats dinner; watches TV; then goes to bed.

* Practically NO Communication. 2nd Report facts of day:

a. Little or no personal input

b. Very structured, cold, and impersonal

3rd Give out MY ideas and judgments:

a. Whenever met by disagreement or rejection, withdraw and retreat.

b. Little or no room for exchange-mostly one way

4th Communication that expresses feelings and emotions:

a. Express my ideas, even if I am disagreed with

b. The beginning of handling rejection

c. At this level, self-image begins to develop stronger, and confidence and

flexibility begin to be portrayed.

5th Complete emotional and truthful communication:

a. We express all emotion and ideas.

b. No matter what happens, confidence exists in relationship.

c. Let it all hang out, and have overcome the fear of rejection

d. At this level, growth occurs with God and spouse. "The Walls Are
 Down."
HOW TO MASTER MONEY

TEXT: Mat. 6:24

INTRODUCTION

Money - the use, lack, and avenue to get it - has crippled, divided, and exhausted a vast majority of marriages.

Family arguments, fears of never being fulfilled, or deferred hope of accomplishing their dreams have put many on the
treadmill of hopelessness. This session will expose the power of money's misery and empower you for money's mastery.

I. THE MISERY OF MONEY

A. As a product of the curse, labor has become predominantly a master of man.

1. Man works for curse.

Gen. 3:17-19

Example. I cannot afford marriage or children.

2. Lust for things, posing as an answer to the curse, has resulted.

7am. 4:1-3

1 Cor. 7:29, 32-35

Example: Marriages set financial idealisms; such as: 2 cars, house, 4 weeks of vacation, college
education for children, all in the first year of marriage. Thus, debt results, and much work.

B. Debt becomes the dominant cause of employment.

Example: Car loans, credit cards, mortgages, etc.

35. Servitude to lenders

Pro. 22:7

36. Man's mind cannot clearly see God's provision and blessing, due to
debt.

1.Deu. 28:12-13

C. Man, because of debt and obligation, becomes wrongfully placed in vocation

due to necessity, not gifting.

How many people in your own family chose vocations, not out of what they were gifted in, but for the benefits
and revenue to be received?

D. Because money is tied mentally to need, the family is cursed, for they robbed
God of the seed of tithes and offerings.
 Mai. 3:8-9

They give to God their leftovers and sick or undesirable gift, and try to keep

the best for themselves.

Mal. 1:6-8

Thus, they live for themselves.

Hag. 1:4-6

E. Finally, the god of mammon rules.

37. The Assyrians, Babylonians, and Egyptians worshipped a god called

Mammon.

38. Mammon = what is trusted in

39. When false trust in money or materialism take the place of God in the
home, worry results!

Mat. 6:24-26 Phi. 4:6 II. MASTER MONEY NOW, OR SUFFER MISERY LATER!

A. Agree on the church that you both will faithfully attend; commit 10% minimally of your gross income to His
House, and be blessed!

Mal 3:8-12 B Pray and break the god of mammon in Jesus' name!
C. Agree and commit yourself NOT to serve materialism (the world) in order to
please your spouse. Singularly and together, make Jesus Head and Lord only!

D. Agree never to spend money on items without both being fully in agreement.

E. Agree to destroy debt if it is present in either party, and incur debt only when
absolutely necessary.

Agree that debt will not master your marriage, in Jesus' name!