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EXPLORATIONS IN CREATIVE READING AND WRITING

GUIDEANCE BOOKLET

MERIT TUTORS

NAME _____________________________

YEAR_______

DATE _______________

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SECTION A - READING

This will be made up of 4 questions, and you are advised to spend about 45 minutes on them.
The source for these reading questions will be a literature fiction text. It will be drawn from either the 20th
or 21st century. Its genre will be prose fiction. It will include extracts from novels and short stories and focus
on openings, endings, narrative perspectives and points of view, narrative or descriptive passages,
character, atmospheric descriptions and other appropriate narrative and descriptive approaches.

QUESTION 1: LISTING
This is the easiest question on the paper, it simply requires you to read an extract and will ask you to list 4 things in
relation to the text.

Question 1 is worth 4 marks, and will test your ability to:

• identify and interpret explicit (clear/obvious) and implicit (hidden/unobvious) information and ideas
• select evidence, in the form of quotations, from different texts

QUESTION 2

FOCUS ON QUESTION 2: LANGUAGE

In this section the examiner will examine your ability to accurately identify the language techniques used by
the writer. You should be able to have solid grasp and understanding of how and why the writer has used
various linguistic methods. The question hints you to include the writer’s choice of words and phrases,
language features and techniques, and sentence forms.

This question has 8 marks in total - see below for the requirements for the different marks.

Level 4  Analyses the effects of the writer’s choices of language

Detailed, perceptive  Selects a judicious range of textual detail
analysis  Makes sophisticated and accurate use of subject
7-8 marks terminology

Level 3  Explains clearly the effects of the writer’s choice of

Clear, relevant language
explanation  Selects a range of relevant textual detail
5-6 marks  Makes clear and accurate use of subject terminology

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Level 2  Attempts to comment on the effect of language
Some understanding  Selects some appropriate textual detail
and comment  Makes some use of subject terminology, mainly
3-4 marks appropriately
Level 1  Offers simple comment on the effect of language
Simple, limited  Selects simple references or textual details
comment  Makes simple use of subject terminology, not always
1-2 marks appropriately
Level 0 No comments on the use of language.
No marks Nothing to reward.

LANGUAGE DEVICES TO SPOT

Alliteration: Repetition of the same sound at the beginning of words. For example: The man made
mountains with his hands.

Assonance: Repetition of vowel sounds in words which start with different consonants. For example: Light
the fire up high.

Consonance: Repetition of consonant sounds in words which are close together in a sentence. For
example: I think I thanked the wrong doctor.

Euphamism: An indirect or mild word/phrase used to replace one which is thought to be too harsh or
offensive. For example: I’m going to have to let you go (instead of ‘sack you’).

Hyperbole: Deliberate exaggeration for effect. For example: “I’ve told you a million times, no XBox after
10pm!”

Idiom: An expression that holds a different meaning to its literal meaning. For example: Granddad kicked
the bucket. This idiom means ‘died’, and does not refer to any literal bucket kicking.

Metaphor: Describing something by stating that it is something else. The two things must be different, but
contain a line of similarity. For example: He flew down the road in his car. He did not literally fly, but the
metaphor suggests the idea that he drove so fast that he achieved speeds similar to those of an aircraft!
Sometimes you will find a metaphor which is used throughout a piece of writing (or in this case an extract).
This is called an extended metaphor.

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Personification: Giving human characteristics to something which is not human. For example: The flames
danced playfully in the fire. Flames cannot dance – this is a human characteristic which has been used to
describe the way the flames move around.

Onompatopeia: Where the word imitates the sound of the thing it is naming. For example: I saved my
work with a click of the mouse. When you say the word ‘click’, it actually makes the sound of a ‘click’. Other
examples are splash, hiccup and bang.

Oxymoron: Placing two words together which are actually opposite to each other. For example: Act
naturally, pretty ugly, jumbo shrimp.

Pun: A joke which plays on different meanings of a word, or similar sounding words with different meanings. For
example: Santa’s little helpers are called subordinate clauses.

Pathetic Fallacy: The use of setting to reflect a character’s mood. For example: ‘The rain pattered dismally against the
panes’. Here the rain reflects the mood of the narrator – more on that in a moment!

Simile: Describing something by stating that it is similar to something else, using the word ‘as’ or ‘like’. The two
things must be different, but contain a line of similarity. For example: He was as cold as ice. There is only one line of
similarity between the man and ice – they are both cold. A simile is similar to a metaphor, but similes describe things
as being like others, whereas metaphors describe things as being others.

Symbolism: Where one thing is meant to represent something else. For example, the colour black is often used to
symbolise evil or death.

Question 2 Examples

1. Extract from Great Gatsby

There was music from my neighbor’s house through the summer nights. In his blue gardens men and girls came and
went like moths among the whisperings and the champagne and the stars. At high tide in the afternoon I watched his
guests diving from the tower of his raft, or taking the sun on the hot sand of his beach while his two motor-boats slit
the waters of the Sound, drawing aquaplanes over cataracts of foam. On week-ends his Rolls-Royce became an
omnibus, bearing parties to and from the city between nine in the morning and long past midnight, while his station
wagon scampered like a brisk yellow bug to meet all trains. And on Mondays eight servants, including an extra
gardener, toiled all day with mops and scrubbing-brushes and hammers and garden-shears, repairing the ravages of
the night before.

Every Friday five crates of oranges and lemons arrived from a fruiterer in New York — every Monday these same
oranges and lemons left his back door in a pyramid of pulpless halves. There was a machine in the kitchen which
could extract the juice of two hundred oranges in half an hour if a little button was pressed two hundred times by a
butler’s thumb.

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How does the writer use language here to show us what the guests at the party were like?

You could include the writer’s choice of:

• words and phrases

• language features and techniques
• sentence forms. [8marks]

Top tips from the mark scheme:

Make sure you use a range of points with a range of judicious quotations.
Analyse what the language shows – answering the question – how the character feels.
Make sure you use a range of subject terminology.
Try to write about three detailed paragraphs.

Exam Tip: You are given three bullet points for this question. You should view these bullet points as
hints from the examiner as to what you need to write about to get a good mark by the end of your
answer. So, what do they mean?
Words and phrases = Picking out specific words from the text and analysing their effects. It means
zooming in on sentences and analysing individual words and ideas from the text as a whole.
Language features and techniques = Those techniques that your teacher has been talking about
endlessly since you were in Year 7. Think about similes, metaphors, alliteration, adjectives, rhetorical
questions and so on. If you’re struggling to remember them then learn AFORREST (Alliteration, Facts,
Opinions, Repetition, Rhetorical Questions, Statistics, Tone) as a starting point. But it’s not good
enough to just find them, you have to explain what effects they have on the reader.
Sentence forms = The types and style of sentences being used, e.g. simple, compound and complex
sentences; declarative, exclamatory, interrogative, imperative sentences; short sentences and long,
descriptive sentences. But like language techniques, you can’t just find them. You have to explain

MODEL ANSWER GREAT GATSBY: (6-8 MARKS)

Firstly, the guests who "came and went" to the parties that occurred “all through the summer nights” all have an air of
anonymity, implying that these parties attracted lots of people, perhaps uninvited given that the narrative voice didn’t
appear to recognise them despite the number of parties. He writes, "In his blue gardens men and girls came and went
like moths among the whisperings and the champagne and the stars." The writer compares the guests to "moths", a
simile which suggests that they are selfish, hedonistic people, drawn to the splendor of the parties, as moths are to
light. It also confirms for the reader that these guests are uninvited because of the connotations of moths invading the
home. There is also a self-destructive implication in comparing the guests to moths who fly into flames to their death,
suggesting that these lavish parties are corrupted. The use of the onomatopoeic word "whisperings" assists in the
building up of atmosphere in the scene, conjuring thoughts of illicit conversations, building a sense of mystery around
the setting. The “whisperings” also suggest something quite secretive, causing the reader to feel intrigue as if they
have been left out.
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Furthermore, the guests mingle among the "champagne and the stars", adds to the glamour and luxury of the scene;
Fitzgerald creates a materialistic atmosphere that suggests that the setting is quite superficial. The fact that there is
“champagne” at parties that occur on a regular basis suggests that the parties are deliberately lavish, implying that the
host’s parties are for show rather than for sociable reasons. Later, the writer describes how the guests were on “his
two motor-boats” which “slit the waters…drawing…cataracts of foam”. Coupled with the “champagne” and the “rolls-
royce”, the personal “gardeners” and the servants, the writer paints a picture of excessive spending and conspicuous
consumption. However, the use of the verb “slit” implies danger as it suggests that the boat cuts through the water like
a knife, creating a threatening sense of anticipation for the reader.

Fitzgerald asserts the lack of respect the guests have for the host and his property in saying, "...on Mondays eight
servants, including an extra gardener, toiled all day with mops and scrubbing-brushes and hammers and garden-
shears, repairing the ravages of the night before.” The long sentence with the repeated use of the word “and”
emphasises the extent of the damage caused. In addition, Fiztgerald’s diction alludes to the destructive behaviour of
the guests through the use of the adjective “ravages” because it suggests that the house and gardens have been left
in a state of destruction. Also, the adjective “ravages” implies that this destruction has been done in a wild, animalistic
way, again suggesting the lack of respect for the host and for the party, evoking a sense of disgust in the reader.

EXTRACT FROM FRANKENSTEIN

It was on a dreary night of November that I beheld the accomplishment of my toils/ With
an axiety that almost amounted to agony, collected the instruments of life around me,
that I might infuse a spark of being into the lifeless thing that lay at my feet. It was
already one in the morning; the rain pattered dismally against the panes, and my candle
was nearly burnt out, when, by the glimmer of the half-extinguished light, I saw the dull
yellow eye of the creature open; it breathed hard, and a convulsive motion agitated its
limbs.

How does the writer use language to describe the weather?

You could write about:

 Individual words and phrases

 Language devices

 Sentence structures

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BASIC LEVEL SAMPLE PARAGRAPH …. Try and avoid providing answers like these. This is an adequate answer but
not analytical or perceptive for higher marks.

‘Shelley uses a wide range of negative language to describe the weather. To begin with the rain not only falls, but it
patters 'dismally'. This is a very negative word which creates the feeling that something bad is going to happen.
Similarly, the night is described with the adjective 'dreary'. These words create a sense of danger.’

SAMPLE PARAGRAPH 2 … a much better model paragraph

‘In this extract Shelley uses the literary device of pathetic fallacy, using setting to reflect Dr Frankenstein’s mood.
Shelley’s use of grim weather, with rain which ‘pattered dismally’ foreshadows and reflects Dr Frankenstein’s mood
over his creation. The use of onomatopoeia in this quotation is also very effective. By describing how the rain
‘pattered’ as it hit the window, the reader can imagine the scene more vividly – it’s as if we too can hear the
raindrops. This then scares the reader and increases the tension as we begin to experience the events of this chapter
as if we are in the room with Dr Frankenstein himself.’

Question 3
FOCUS ON QUESTION 3: STRUCTURE

Paper 1, Question 3 assesses AO2, in this case how the writer has structured a text. Specifically: “Explain, comment
on and analyse how writers use structure to achieve effects and influence readers, using relevant subject terminology
to support their views.” As per the mark scheme, structural features can be:

At a whole text level, including reference to: beginnings, endings, perspective shifts

At a paragraph level, including, if relevant topic change, aspects of cohesion, at a sentence level, when it contributes
to the structure as a whole.

QUESTION 3: You now need to think about the whole of the source.
How has the writer structured the text to interest you as a reader?
You could write about:
•What the writer focuses your attention on at the beginning
•How and why the writer changes this focus as the source develops
•Any other structural features that interest you.

Level 4  Analyses the effects of the writer’s choice of structural features

Detailed, perceptive analysis  Selects a judicious range of examples
7-8 marks  Makes sophisticated and accurate use of subject terminology

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Level 3  Explains clearly the effects of the writer’s choice of structural features
Clear, relevant explanation  Selects a range of relevant examples
5-6 marks  Makes clear and accurate use of subject terminology

Level 2  Attempts to comment on the effect of structural features

Some understanding and  Selects some appropriate examples
comment  Makes some use of subject terminology, mainly appropriately
3-4 marks
Level 1  Offers simple comment on the effect of structural features
Simple, limited comment  Selects simple references or examples
1-2 marks  Makes simple use of subject terminology, not always appropriately

Level 0 No comments on the use of structure.

No marks Nothing to reward.

Develop the right thinking… you need the right approach and analytical skills to effectively interrogate the text. It can
help you to consider some key questions of the text. Your response can help select the structural features that are of
interest to you

Analysing Structure

Narrative voice - who is speaking? Effect? Do we sympathise with them? Are we on their side? First person?
Second person? Third person? If third person, whose thoughts and feelings are we given most access to?
End – how does the extract end? What is the effect? Is there a cliff-hanger? Are all the questions answered,
or do some remain? Is there a sense of closure and that events have been tied up?
Start / beginning – how does the extract start? How does the writer set the scene and make the reader
understand what is going on / where the characters are?
Turning points – are there any turning points where something dramatic or unexpected happens? Is there a
moment where we learn something new about a character?
Short paragraphs/sentence lengths – are there any short paragraphs or short / long sentences? What is the
effect? Short sentences and paragraphs often produce dramatic effects, while longer sentences can build
tension or suspense.

Things to think about…

1. When I first start to read the text, what is the writer focusing my attention on?

2. How is this being developed?

3. What feature of structure is evident at this point?

4. Why might the writer have deliberately chosen to begin the text with this focus and therefore make use of this
particular feature of structure?

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5. What main points of focus does the writer develop in sequence after the starting point?

6. How is each being developed?

7. Why is the writer taking me through this particular sequence?

8. How is this specific to helping me relate to the intended meaning(s) at these points?

9. What does the writer focus my attention on at the end of the text?

10. How is this developed as a structural feature?

11. How am I left thinking or feeling at the end?

12. Why might the writer have sought to bring me to this point of interest/understanding?

Be specific and avoid generalisations. You should aim for precise detail where possible, and include reference to
particular points and how they might relate to the meaning as a whole:

1. What specific aspect the writer focuses attention on (for example, at the start).

2. A feature of structure that is of interest at that particular point.

3. Why it is effective or significant at that point in the text because of how the writer shapes the reader’s response.

4. What it makes the reader realise at that particular point in the text, and then in relation to the text as a whole.

Exam Tip: Just like Q2, you are given three bullet points here to give you some help in
terms of answering the question.
What the writer focuses your attention on at the beginning = Think about how the text
opens and why the writer has chosen to open it that way. What effects does it have on the
reader? Why?
How and why the writer changes this focus as the source develops = Which characters or
topics are covered throughout the text? When and why does the writer change who or what
we are focussing on?
Any other structural features that interest you = Think about the use of connectives, the
links between paragraphs, how the text finishes and why.

Alexander Cold awakened at dawn, startled by a nightmare. He had been dreaming that an enormous
1 black bird had crashed against the window with a clatter of shattered glass, flown into the house, and
carried off his mother. In the dream, he had watched helplessly as it clasped her clothing in its yellow
claws, flew out the same broken window, and disappeared into a sky heavy with dark clouds.
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What had awakened him was the noise from the storm: wind lashing the trees, rain on the rooftop, and
thunder. He turned on the light with a sensation of being adrift in a boat, and pushed closer to the bulk of
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the large dog sleeping beside him. He pictured the roaring Pacific Ocean a few blocks from his house,
spilling in furious waves against the rocks. He lay listening to the storm and thinking about the black bird
and about his mother, waiting for the pounding in his chest to die down. He was still tangled in the
10 images of his bad dream.
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Alexander looked at the clock: 6.30, time to get up. Outside, it was beginning to get light. He decided
that this was going to be a terrible day, one of those days when it’s best to stay in bed because
everything is going to turn out bad. There had been a lot of days like that since his mother got sick;
sometimes the air in the house felt heavy, like being at the bottom of the sea.
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At breakfast Alex was not in the mood to applaud his father’s efforts at making pancakes. His father
16 was not exactly a good cook; the only thing he knew how to do was pancakes, and they always turned
out like rubber-tyre tortillas. His children didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so they pretended to eat
them, but any time he wasn’t looking, they spit them out.

20 ‘When’s Momma going to get better?’ Nicole asked, trying to spear a rubbery pancake with her fork.

‘Shut up, Nicole,’ Alex replied. ‘Momma’s

going to die,’ Andrea added.

‘Liar! She’s not going to die!’ shrieked Nicole.

25 ‘You two are just kids. You don’t know what you’re talking about!’ Alex exclaimed.

‘Here, girls. Quiet now. Momma is going to get better,’ his father interrupted, without much
conviction.

Alex was angry with his father, his sisters, life in general – even with his mother for getting sick. He
rushed out of the kitchen, ready to leave without breakfast.
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Except for his father’s pancakes and an occasional tuna-and-mayonnaise sandwich, no one in the
family had cooked for months. There was nothing in the refrigerator but orange juice, milk and ice
cream; at night they ordered in pizza or Chinese food. At first it was almost like a party, because each
of them ate whenever and whatever they pleased, mainly sweets, but by now
everyone missed the balanced diet of normal times.

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 35 Alex had realised during those months how enormous their mother’s presence had been and how
painful her absence was now. He missed her easy laughter and her affection, even her discipline. She
was stricter than his father, and sharper. It was impossible to fool her; she could see the unseeable. He
missed her music, her flowers, the once-familiar fragrance of fresh-baked cookies, and the smell of paint.
It used to be that his mother could work several hours in her studio, keep the house immaculate, and
40 still welcome her children after school with cookies.
Now she barely got out of bed to walk through the rooms with a confused air, as if she didn’t recognise
anything; she was too thin, and her sunken eyes were circled with shadows. Her canvases, which once
were explosions of colour, sat forgotten on their easels, and her oil paints
dried in their tubes. His mother seemed to have shrunk; she was little more than a silent ghost.

ANSWER LEVEL 3

What do you think could be improved with the answer below?

The writer zooms in on the character’s situation at the start in order to introduce us to them. This gives us an insight
of who they are. The nightmare could be foreshadowing what could happen later on in the text or it could be a
flashback to something horrible that had happened wit n Alex was a child. The text then changers to talk about a
storm in paragraph 2. The use of long complex sentences shows that there is a lot of things going on at once which
overwhelm the protagonist.

The text keeps changing focus throughout because its’ the beginning of a novel and it has to introduce everything to
set the context. We can tell that Alex has strong feelings towards his mum, due to the writing of what he misses
about her line 37 to line 39. The long list shows how Alex has thought this through many times before hence the
length of this list. The last two paragraphs contradict each other in order for the writer to show the contrast between
Alex’s mother and father. This has an effect on the reader because it causes a biased view on the mother and how
great she was.

The last paragraph juxtaposes itself about how Alex’s mother impacted him, how much he loved her but then he
compares her to ‘a little more than a silent ghost’ showing how she has changed, the juxtaposition could imply the
huge change to Alex’s everyday life and this makes the reader see the impact it has on Alex, especially when the
writer zooms in to describe Alex’s mother in the last paragraph.

ANSWER (LEVEL 4)

What do you think is good about this response?

The text focuses on a character called Alex Cold and the reader gets too see him from two different angles. At the
beginning he is above in his bedroom and waking up from a nightmare where his mother was carried off by ‘an
enormous Black bird. ‘Then in the second part of the text the writer diverges the focus to Alex being with the rest of
the family downstairs at breakfast time. He is snappy with his sisters when Andrea says ‘Mamma’s going to die.’ This
links to the two halves of the text together because the fear Alex experiences in the earlier nightmare is now
manifested in his behaviour at the breakfast table. Shouting at his sisters makes it seem as if he disagrees with her,
but because the reader has already had an insight into Alex’s subconscious mind, we understand at this point that

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really it’s the opposite. He shouts at his sister because secretly he fears what she is saying is true and his mother
might really die.

In the final two paragraphs, we are deliberately presented with a direct contrast between Alex’s parents. Firstly, the
text narrows from the whole family onto the father, who is struggling to look after the children. There is ‘nothing in
the refrigerator but orange juice’ and they are living on take away food. Then the final paragraph zooms in on both
then and now versions of his mother. It begins with the sentence ‘Alex had realised during those moments how
enormous their mother’s presence had been and how painful her absence was now’. The structure is effective
because by first showing how inadequate his father is, even though it’s not his fault, it emphasises how wonderful
the mother is, or at least used to be. In a way this makes us revaluate the nightmare at the beginning because we
have seen for ourselves the close bond between Alex and his mother and now understand why it ‘started’ him to
experience ‘pounding in his chest’, a physical reaction to the fear of losing her.

Read the extract below and the answer after it. What marks would you give this answer and why? Refer to the
mark scheme. What improvements would you make?

EXTRACT FROM DIVERGENT BY VERONICA ROFF

“There is one mirror in my house. It is behind a sliding panel in the hallway upstairs. Our faction allows me to stand in
front of it on the second day of every third month, the day my mother cuts my hair.

I sit on the stool and my mother stands behind me with the scissors, trimming. The strands fall on the floor in a dull,
blond ring.

When she finishes, she pulls my hair away from my face and twists it into a knot. I note how calm she looks and how
focused she is. She is well-practiced in the art of losing herself. I can’t say the same myself.

I sneak a look at my reflection when she isn’t paying attention—not for the sake of vanity, but out of curiosity. A lot
can happen to a person’s appearance in three months. In my reflection, I see a narrow face, wide, round eyes, and a
long, thin nose—I still look like a little girl, though sometime in the last few months I turned sixteen. The other
factions celebrate birthdays, but we don’t. It would be self-indulgent.

“There,” she says when she pins the knot in place. Her eyes catch mine in the mirror. It is too late to look away, but
instead of scolding me, she smiles at our reflection.

I frown a little. Why doesn’t she reprimand me for staring at myself?

“So today is the day,” she says.

“Yes,” I reply.

“Are you nervous?”

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I stare into my own eyes for a moment. Today is the day of the aptitude test that will show me which of the five
factions I belong in. And tomorrow, at the Choosing Ceremony, I will decide on a faction; I will decide the rest of my
life; I will decide to stay with my family or abandon them.

ANSWER: The extract opens with the image of a mirror, emphasizing its singularity and unique existence as well as
elevating it from just a common household object. The writer then emphasises that this mirror is significant because
its use is restricted and regulated; it can only be used on the “second day of every third month”, which immediately
creates an uneasy tone, because for such a rule to exist, some form of systematic control must be present in the
world of the narrator. The reader questions whether this is a dystopian society as the level of control appears to be
quite oppressive. This is then confirmed later in the extract when the narrator says “today is the day of the aptitude
test that will show me which of the five factions I belong in”, and by the fact that there is a “choosing ceremony”,
both of which imply that the narrator’s life is governed by an outside source.

The next two paragraphs are both incredibly short in length; both refer to the narrator’s hair being cut shorter, which
also appears to be regulated to be done on a specific date, and this combined unsettles the reader because it implies
that the changes occurring are final. This is then reinforced by the constant references to the mirror and the
narrator’s reflection of herself, all building up a sense of tension and unease that something drastic is going to change
for the narrator.

The subsequent use of dialogue further adds to the tension, as the mother simply says “today is the day”. The reader
is left wondering what significance is attached to “today”, especially since the short declarative sentence emphasises
its importance, and the fact that the description of the hair cutting appeared so final. The focus at the end of the
extract thrusts the reader into the significance of the day for the narrator; the use of phrases like “choosing
ceremony” and “aptitude test” make the reader feel uneasy because the implication is that the narrator has to make
a significant decision that will have momentous impact on her life. This is then confirmed at the very end of the
extract, when the writer uses a series of short, declarative clauses, with the repeated phrase “I will decide”, builds the
tension for the reader as they realise that this decision has far reaching consequences for her entire life. The clauses
each build so that each consequence is more dramatic than the previous, in order to draw the reader in and make
them feel anxious themselves about the world that they have entered into.

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 QUESTION 4

QUESTION 4 FOCUSES: EVALUATION

Level 4  Evaluates critically and in detail the effect(s) on the reader

Detailed, perceptive  Shows perceptive understanding of writer’s methods
evaluation  Shows a judicious range of textual detail
16-20 marks  Develops a convincing and critical response to the focus of the
statement
Level 3  Evaluates clearly the effect(s) on the reader
Clear, relevant evaluation  Shows clear understanding of writer’s methods
11-15 marks  Selects a range of relevant textual references
 Makes a clear and relevant response to the focus of the statement
Level 2  Makes some evaluative comment(s) on effect(s) on reader
Some evaluation  Shows some understanding of writer’s methods
6-10 marks  Selects some appropriate textual reference(s)
 Makes some response to the focus of the statement
Level 1  Makes simple, limited evaluative comment(s) on effect(s) on reader
Simple, limited evaluation  Shows limited understanding of writer’s methods
1-5 marks  Selects simple, limited textual reference(s)
 Makes a simple, limited response to the focus of the statement
Level 0 No relevant comments offered in response to the statement, no
No marks impressions, no evaluation.

QUESTION 4 OBJECTIVES…

Evaluate texts critically and support this with appropriate textual references. At the end of this
section I need to show that I am a thoughtful reader, so that when I read things I can weigh up what
is being written and think about the message it may be giving me. I need to be able to understand
the meaning of what I read but also what the writer was doing to make me see that meaning/ so, I
will need to think about putting the language under the microscope again and thinking about how
the things I read are built and put together. This will also be really useful in helping me become a
better writer.

What are you being tested on?

 This question tests you on your ability to evaluate the extent to which the writer achieves
their purpose.

How will the question be worded?

 You will be asked to focus on a particular part of the source for this question

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  You will be given a statement of opinion about that part of the text
 The main focus of the question is ‘To what extent do you agree [with the statement]?’
 The question also includes three bullet points to give you an idea of what to write.

This part of the question tells you which part

You are given a simple statement about of the source you need to write about.
the source which you need evaluate.

‘To what extent do you agree?’

refers to the statement – do you
agree with what has been said? The question includes three bullet points to
remind you what you need to include in
your answer.

How should you answer the question?

 You will be given approximately four sides to write your answer – this should be plenty.
 You need to start by deciding whether you agree or disagree with the statement.
 Whatever you decide you need to find three or four reasons with examples from the source
to support your decision.
 You may well only partly agree and partly disagree; if so find reasons and examples from the
source for both.
 It would be a good idea to plan your answer by completing a simple table like this one:

I agree because… Example I disagree because… Example

1. 1.
2. 2.
3. 3.
4. 4.

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  When it comes to writing up your answer start by clearly stating whether or not you agree
with the statement you have been given – you might not completely agree or disagree in
which case just say ‘To a large extent I agree with the statement but to a lesser extent I
disagree.’
 You then need to give clear and valid reasons why you agree or disagree with the
statement; these need to be fully supported with examples from the source.
 Try to remember that you are explaining what you think and why you think it.
 Just stick to simple sentence stems like these:
 One reason that I agree/disagree with the statement is because…
 For example…
 Another reason that I agree/disagree with the statement is because…
 For example….

 Write x4 PEE’s, with an additionally linking line at the end of each to say how effectively you
think the focus of the statement has been achieved.
 No more minutes than marks

SOME MODEL EXAMPLES…

EXTRACT FROM THE GREAT GATSBY BY F.SCOTT FITZGERALD

Instead of taking the short cut along the Sound we went down the road and entered by the big postern. With enchanting
murmurs Daisy admired this aspect or that of the feudal silhouette against the sky, admired the gardens, the sparkling
odour of jonquils and the frothy odour of hawthorn and plum blossoms and the pale gold odour of kiss-me-at-the-gate. It
was strange to reach the marble steps and find no stir of bright dresses in and out the door, and hear no sound but bird
voices in the trees.
And inside as we wandered through Marie Antoinette music rooms and Restoration salons I felt that there were guests
concealed behind every couch and table, under orders to be breathlessly silent until we had passed through. As Gatsby
closed the door of ‘the Merton College Library’ I could have sworn I heard the owl-eyed man break into ghostly laughter.

We went upstairs, through period bedrooms swathed in rose and lavender silk and vivid with new flowers, through
dressing rooms and poolrooms, and bathrooms with sunken baths—intruding into one chamber where a dishevelled
man in pyjamas was doing liver exercises on the floor. It was Mr. Klipspringer, the ‘boarder.’ I had seen him wandering
hungrily about the beach that morning. Finally we came to Gatsby’s own apartment, a bedroom and a bath and an Adam
study, where we sat down and drank a glass of some Chartreuse he took from a cupboard in the wall. He hadn’t once
ceased looking at Daisy and I think he revalued everything in his house according to the measure of response it drew
from her well-loved eyes. Sometimes, too, he stared around at his possessions in a dazed way as though in her actual
and astounding presence none of it was any longer real. Once he nearly toppled down a flight of stairs.

His bedroom was the simplest room of all—except where the dresser was garnished with a toilet set of pure dull gold.
Daisy took the brush with delight and smoothed her hair, whereupon Gatsby sat down and shaded his eyes and began
to laugh.
Recovering himself in a minute he opened for us two hulking patent cabinets which held his massed suits and dressing-
gowns and ties, and his shirts, piled like bricks in stacks a dozen high.

‘I’ve got a man in England who buys me clothes. He sends over a selection of things at the beginning of each season,
spring and fall.’
He took out a pile of shirts and began throwing them, one by one before us, shirts of sheer linen and thick silk and fine
flannel which lost their folds as they fell and covered the table in many-colored disarray. While we admired he brought
more and the soft rich heap mounted higher—shirts with stripes and scrolls and plaids in coral and apple-green and
lavender and faint orange with monograms of Indian blue. Suddenly with a strained sound, Daisy bent her head into the
shirts and began to cry stormily.

‘They’re such beautiful shirts,’ she sobbed, her voice muffled in the thick folds. ‘It makes me sad because I’ve never
seen such—such beautiful shirts before.’

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LEVEL 4 ANSWER PARAGRAPH

I agree with the student in that I also feel that the writer is showing me how anxious Gatsby
is to please Daisy; Nick focusses our attention on Gatsby’s actions – ‘He hadn’t once ceased
looking at Daisy’ – and tells us that ‘he revalued everything in his house according to the
measure of response it drew from her well-loved eyes’, allowing the reader to understand
how he feels towards Daisy and what he is like. His whole life is precarious, to the extent
that he lacks stability in the physical world. He struggles to avert his gaze from her; ‘he
hadn’t once ceased’, and this is perhaps reflective of his obsession with her and his over-
arching desire to make her happy. Indeed, he has constructed such an incredible world
around himself to impress Daisy that he chooses to bring her and Nick the “long” way round
– ‘we went down the road and entered by the big postern’ – to show off, and allow Daisy to
see as much of the house as possible. Even the back door is ‘big’, perhaps reflective of his
desire to make a ‘big’ impression on Daisy. As well as this, the rooms are described as being
“swathed” in “rose” and “lavender silk”, with the verb ‘swathed’ almost suggesting that these
materials act as a mask or barrier from the outside world; they create a world of illusion
wherein Gatsby can hide and protect himself from reality. The syndetic listing at the
beginning of the source, ‘the sparkling odour of jonquils and the frothy odour of hawthorn
and plum blossoms and the pale gold odour of kiss-me-at-the-gate’, creates a cumulative
effect, making the sentence seem never-ending, again emphasising the endless lengths
Gatsby will go to in order to impress Daisy.

EXTRACT FROM Don’t Look Now by Daphne Du Maurier

John and Laura Baxter are on holiday in Venice, trying to recover from the death of their young
daughter. In this extract, they are taking a night-time stroll through the city streets.

They went out laughing into the warm soft night, and the magic was about them everywhere. ‘Let’s
walk,’ he said, ‘let’s walk and work up an appetite for our gigantic meal,’ and inevitably they found
themselves by the Molo and the lapping gondolas dancing upon the water, the lights everywhere
blending with the darkness. There were other couples strolling for the same sake of aimless
enjoyment, backwards, forwards, purposeless, and the inevitable sailors in groups, noisy,
gesticulating, and dark-eyed girls whispering, clicking on high heels.

‘The trouble is,’ said Laura, ‘walking in Venice becomes compulsive once you start. Just over the next
bridge, you say, and then the next one beckons. I’m sure there are no restaurants down here, we’re
almost at those public gardens where they hold the Biennale. Let’s turn back. I know there’s a
restaurant somewhere near the church of San Zaccaria, there’s a little alley-way leading to it.’

‘Tell you what,’ said John, ‘if we go down here by the Arsenal, and cross that bridge at the end and
head left, we’ll come upon San Zaccaria from the other side. We did it the other morning.’

‘Yes, but it was daylight then. We may lose our way, it’s not very well lit.’

‘Don’t fuss. I have an instinct for these things.’

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They turned down the Fondamenta dell’Arsenale and crossed the little bridge short of the Arsenal
itself, and so on past the church of San Martino. There were two canals ahead, one bearing right, the
other left, with narrow streets beside them. John hesitated. Which one was it they had walked
beside the day before?

‘You see,’ protested Laura, ‘we shall be lost, just as I said.’ ‘Nonsense,’ replied John firmly. ‘It’s the
left-hand one, I remember the little bridge.’

The canal was narrow, the houses on either side seemed to close in upon it, and in the daytime, with
the sun’s reflection on the water and the windows of the houses open, bedding upon the balconies,
a canary singing in a cage, there had been an impression of warmth, of secluded shelter. Now,
almost in darkness, the windows of the houses shuttered, the water dank, the scene appeared
altogether different, neglected, poor, and the long narrow boats moored to the slippery steps of
cellar entrances looked like coffins.

‘I swear I don’t remember this bridge,’ said Laura, pausing, and holding on to the rail, ‘and I don’t
like the look of that alleyway beyond.’

‘There’s a lamp halfway up,’ John told her. ‘I know exactly where we are, not far from the Greek
quarter.’

They crossed the bridge, and were about to plunge into the alley-way when they heard the cry. It
came, surely, from one of the houses on the opposite side, but which one it was impossible to say.
With the shutters closed each one of them seemed dead. They turned, and stared in the direction
from which the sound had come.

Molo, San Zaccaria, Fondamenta dell’Arsenale, San Martino  – all areas of Venice

Biennale  – a festiv

Here is an excellent response….

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QUESTION 5 – WRITING

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A TYPICAL EXAM QUESTION WOULD LOOK LIKE…

Section B: Writing
You are advised to spend about 45 minutes on this section.
Write in full sentences.
You are reminded of the need to plan your answer.
You should leave enough time to check your work at the end.

Q5
Your school or college is asking students to contribute some creative writing for
its website.

Either: Write a description based on this image.

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 Or: Write the opening to a narrative about a character who is determined to achieve
their goals.

(24 marks for content and organisation,

16 marks for technical accuracy)
[40 marks]

The exam board have split up their success criteria into three sections:
1) Content: Register, writing style, vocabulary and language techniques
2) Organisation: Structural features, paragraphs, discourse markers and
interesting ideas.
3) Technical Accuracy: Punctuation, sentence forms, Standard English, spelling,
grammar and vocabulary.

Content:
 Engages the reader
 Tone and style match the PURPOSE and AUDIENCE of the task
 Features match to the FORM of the piece
 Wide and ambitious vocabulary
 Ambitious language devices (sensory description, alliteration, onomatopoeia, metaphor, simile,
triples, rhetorical questions, personification)

Organisation:
 Effective structure (linked openings and closings)
 Ideas sequenced for impact (e.g. Enigmatic opening; build up of tension)
 Effective use of paragraph lengths and types (short, one sentence, one word)
 Integrated
All pieces of writingdiscourse markers/connectives
should use the features on the(however,
right in contrast, in addition, furthermore)
 Inventive structural features (pathetic fallacy, repetition, prolepsis/analepsis
(and use them well) in order to achieve a good mark.
Description
Descriptions should focus on the image provided by the
Technical
exam board. Accuracy:
They should not contain any characters.
 Secure standard
They should not use anyone’s point English
of view. Instead of
 Accurate sentence demarcation
saying “I could see clouds crawling past the glare of the
 Effective
sun.”, you would write “Therange of punctuation
clouds were crawling past
 Sentence forms for effect (simple, compound, complex, interrogative, exclamatory)
the glare of the sun.” • Sensory description (sight, sound, smell,
 Sentence lengths for effect (short, one word) taste, touch)
Try to zoom in on specific parts of the image and write
 Accurate spelling of complex vocabulary • Similes
in as much detail as you canuse
 Ambitious about that section before
of vocabulary
moving on to describe another part. • Metaphors
Narrative • Personification
• Alliteration
Narratives do not have to focus on the image provided;
• Repetition
however, you could use the image as inspiration for • Description from different perspectives
your story. A narrative needs a narrator. It can be first • Specific details
person or third person (avoid using second person as it • Effective adjectives
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is hard to do it well). Do not get so carried away with • Strong verbs
your story and characters that you forget to include the • Effective Vocabulary
features on the right. • Pathetic Fallacy
TIPS…

• Sentence starters
• A range of punctuation
• Paragraphs
• Variety of sentence types/lengths
• Standard English
• Accurate spelling
• Sophisticated vocabulary

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