The Coffee Date

Mister Seductor
 CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

The Right Mindset for the Job

Evocation ........ 1
The Purpose of This Book ...... 6
What Vour Role Is ..... 7
Time to deprogram ....... 9

CHAPTER TWO

The Essential Checklist

The Five Commandments….. 15

The Tool Kit ............... 20
Weapons Training ...... 21
The First Phone Call…… 32
 CHAPTER THREE

The Secrets of Her Face

Eye of the Beholder….. 42

Scent of a Woman .... 43
Sweet Nothings...... 45
Smooth Talker….. 46
I Can Use Somebody….. 48

CHAPTER FOUR

If You Leave Me Now

Goodbye My Lover .... 50

The smooth Criminal...... 51
The Correct Apology….. 52
The Next Phone Call….. 53
Reflections…… 54
 Chapter 1

The Right Mindset

For the Job

EVOCATION

As I sat there at the table I could feel that my opportunity to ever

be with this woman again was diminishing by the moment. What
made it worse was that I knew all of the laborious and courageous
groundwork I had put in to even arrive at this juncture in the
courtship, was going to waste. There I sat stupefied across the
table from this beautiful woman not knowing how to re-establish
the connection she had so obviously felt when she had agreed to
meet me for coffee.

In the harsh light of day with no social atmosphere to assist the

mood, I could intuitively feel her levels of attraction towards me
were dissolving faster than the sugar cubes in my coffee. The
organic connection that we had shared a couple of nights ago had
now become awkward and was withering into obscurity with even
sip she took. As the
meaningless small talk continued, time and my chances of ever
seeing her again slipped away.

She always had other plans after that coffee date...I never did see
her again...

A seed of anguish had been planted. It has long been fertilized

with regret, confusion, and a longing to understand the social
dynamic concepts that govern the connection that exists between
the sexes. This longing matured into a deep understanding, which
has now grown into mastery...

THE PURPOSE OF THIS BOOK

The coffee date is the most crucial social interaction you will have
with a woman. On this date she will determine whether she will
ever see you again or go on a second date with you. Most
courtships hang in the balance depending on the result of the
coffee date. Simply put, if you get the coffee date right, she will see
you again. And if you get it wrong, she won't.
You might spend days or even weeks interacting with a woman
before she gives you her number, but you can blow your chances
totally and permanently in under twenty minutes, if you don't get
this date right. Even if you've managed to get a girls number in
under ten minutes, you'll still have to go through the coffee date
trial before things can go any further.
Women generally need to spend around eight hours with a man
before they are comfortable becoming intimate with him. Most
men fail to realise how to correctly utilise these eight hours. A lot
of men attempt to skip the short coffee date. These men usually
try to take a girl out to the movies or out for dinner on their first
date with the girl. These men usually never get to see the girl
again. They fail to use the secrets of time fractioning. They fail to
lay the correct ground work first. They fail
because they skip the coffee date. The purpose of this book is to
teach you the required skills to make you a master of the coffee
date. It will teach you how to build connection throughout the
date thus ensuring her levels of attraction towards you are always
increasing. It will do this by exposing secrets of seduction that
remain hidden from the majority of men.

If your goal is to create a strong connection with the girl you desire
so you can ultimately love her and keep the girl of your dreams
then this book is for you. If your goal is to pick up and seduce as
many women as possible in the shortest amount of time possible,
then this book is also for you. It will assist you to construct the
kind of relationships you desire with the women that you desire.

Most men don't realise that if she is the girl of your dreams or she
is just your next short term fling, the coffee date is the single most
essential step to move things onward to the next stage. You won't
succeed with either girl if you don't strengthen the connection on
the coffee date. Both situations need to be approached in exactly
the same manner yet most men believe that they can take short
cuts when it comes to girl they want to have a short term fling
with. This is a common mistake men make. There are no
shortcuts. A relationship with any kind of girl needs to be built on
honesty and mutual satisfaction.

When you abide by this book's principles and have practised the
techniques, you will know what to do, how to act, and what to say
throughout the coffee date thus ensuring your highest chances of
success with the woman you desire. This book will also teach you
how to invite women on coffee dates and what steps to take after
the coffee date.
When I see beautiful women I feel uplifted and privileged.
Information in this book is in no way shape or form intended to be
degrading or derogatory to women. However, sometimes it must be
told how it is, without omissions.

WHAT YOUR ROLE IS

There is no easy fix here. Like anything in life that is worthwhile,
this takes a lot of work. Its work that can be disheartening and
sometimes humiliating. But that's all in your point of view, which
we'll also learn how to manipulate in your favour. You will not be
able to seduce any woman you desire. This would be an
unrealistic fantasy and no man can do this. You will however
come to understand subliminal psychological seduction
techniques that ensure your highest chances of succeeding with
the women you desire.

You will learn to become the kind of man that women are
attracted to. A man that takes responsibility for the seduction
process and recognises that he is in control. The kind of man that
is able to improvise and adapt and roll with the natural flow of the
seduction at a pace that she is comfortable with. A man that is
capable of deciphering and understanding the illogical linguistic
patterns women use. The kind of man that is capable of
communicating with women at a deeper level. A man like you that
will always have the upper hand because he took the time and
effort to master social dynamic skills that lead to seduction.
Before we can even learn about the intricacies of the coffee date we
need to address your role regarding your entire dating game. This
is because these principles need to be adopted not only
throughout the coffee date, but also throughout your entire dating
game.
Your role is to start to take responsibility. You are responsible for
the entire seduction process, not just the coffee date. Your role is
to begin to abide by the following mantra, "...I am the man. I am
responsible for every single detail of every single interaction, with
every single woman I meet..."

That's the short version and now here's the long one. You're
responsible for approaching the woman and initiating
conversation and keeping the conversation alive. You're
responsible for directing the conversation in the right direction so
it leads to seduction. And you're totally responsible for asking for
her phone number.

You're responsible for calling her and asking her on a date and
then calling her back again when she doesn't show up. You're
responsible for choosing where to take her and it's up to you to
initiate the first kiss.
You're also responsible for educating yourself with regards to the
correct seduction methods and dating etiquette that women will
respond to, just like you are doing now...
Hopefully by now you get the picture. You are the man and you
must begin to start acting like one. From now on you do not
expect women to do anything to make life easier for you. If
something is not working during the seduction period, it is your
fault. You must take the initiative and responsibility for absolutely
everything.

This is one way in which you will become an expert with women.
In no way will you hold resentment towards women for this fact. If
you do, you are behaving like something other than a man. The
cold hard fact is that it is your fault if something is not going right
during the seduction period and it is your responsibility to correct
this. It is your fault that you do not have the sex life or
relationships you desire....no one else's fault. Do not blame anyone
else for this and do not leave this responsibility up to women.
Surely you want control and power over this part of your life.
What about women being fair and doing their share of chasing the
man they want? What about women initiating things sometimes
and giving men a break? They all sound like legitimate questions
but women are simply not wired like that. Your role is to take
responsibility for all of these things otherwise you're retarding your
progress.

Now it is clear to you exactly what your responsibilities are

throughout your entire dating game. Imbed your mindset with
these principles. Carry these principles into all of your interactions
with women and carry them into the coffee date.

TIME TO REPROGRAM

It's time to get some of the misconceptions and fallacies out of

your head regarding the coffee date. Generally the only advice that
people seem to give you is to just be yourself. Nothing could be
further from the truth. If it were true there would be no need for
you to be reading this book. You
would have all the unlimited success with women you desire
already. Even coffee date with a woman would be a breeze for you
because you could just be yourself. But this is not the case is it.
Must be yourself, isn't very good advice.

Once you start to practice the techniques in this book they will
slowly integrate themselves into your psyche. And when the
techniques in this book become a part of the way you think and
act, then you can get away with just being yourself. Try to
understand it this way; it's not that you can't just be yourself...it's
that you need to start showing a side and parts of yourself that
you don't often show or express.

Think about how often you need to behave differently in order for
you to achieve something. You cannot attend a job interview
wearing shorts and a T-shirt. You might feel quite comfortable
doing so but the results you'll achieve will be highly affected. You
must talk and act differently in front of your prospective employer.
You must display your upmost professional demeanour if you
wish to succeed in your interview. Do you act like this all the time
and are you just being yourself...? No you don't act like this all the
time. So are you manipulating or fooling your employer...? No, you
are just taking the necessary steps to ensure you achieve the goal
you desired. You achieved your goal by acting and behaving
differently. And they ended up with a new employee. Everybody
wins...

Try to remember the above example of how you need to behave a

certain way to achieve certain goals should you find yourself
saying that the techniques in this book are just not the way I act
and that it's just not me. A lot of the techniques you will be taught
to perform will feel uncomfortable at first and you may not feel like
your usual self, but if you stick with it, women are going to love
you for it.

It's also time for you to let go of the fallacy that being a nice guy on
the coffee date will work for you or get you anywhere. Women
sleep with certain men because those men are capable of evoking
the correct emotional responses within them, not because they are
nice guys. Stop worrying about being nice and begin to focus
entirely on the techniques you will soon learn. This doesn't mean
you can't be cultured and polite and treat women with the upmost
respect. On the contrary women will
adore you for this. These will always be your standard personality
traits and gorgeous women will expect nothing less. But do not
make the mistake of thinking that being nice is one of the traits
that will allow you successfully seduce women on coffee dates.

Being nice to her on the coffee date will land you in the ‘friend
category’. Nice guys supplicate to women. They think being nice
will make women want them. To a woman, a nice guy appears
needy and desperate. Second only to a man acting in a violent and
threatening manner, a man acting needy and desperate is a
woman's biggest turn off. Women want creativity, spontaneity,
courage and a challenge...not supplication, desperation or
neediness. Forget about being nice on the coffee date...everyone is
nice anyway.
Your looks don't really matter either. For a start, if she has already
agreed to go on a coffee date with you, she has already shown a
sign of interest. 95% of women only care about the way you are
capable of making them feel. Once you learn to evoke the correct
feeling in a woman she will treat you like a movie star. You see
gorgeous women all the time at cafe's holding hands with what
would best be described as a very average looking man. He might
be average on the outside but he is obviously incredibly good at
making her feel the right way on the inside.

Forget about your looks because they mean very little to a woman.
If most women went out with men based on their looks, most of us
men would be doomed. Women are way more attracted to a man's
essence and charisma, than they are to a man's looks, so forget
about your looks totally. If you can make her feel right, then she’ll
be with you no matter what.
Do not attempt to become a woman's friend on the coffee date.
Completely dispel from your mind that becoming a woman's friend
will allow you to be with this woman in the future. Men get
confused and misguided when it comes to this. They tend to
believe that if the woman is confiding in them that there is a
chance of succeeding with this woman. After all why would she be
talking and confiding in me if she wasn't interested in being with
me. Lots of men waste lots of time trying to seduce women this
way. They think taking things slowly, befriending them and
offering them advice will cause the woman to want to be with
them. Nothing is further from the truth. The more you treat her
like a good friend on the coffee date, and the more you offer her
advice, the further away you will he from ever being with this
woman. Yes you will develop a connection, but it's of the opposing
polarity of the connection that you desire.
Some men think they are being her nice friend when really they
are just being deceitful and hiding their true feeling towards the
woman out of fear of rejection. You'll learn how to make your
intentions clear and not fall into this time wasting trap. Women
are flattered when a man is interested in them, not offended.
Women are offended when they think you are their friend and
then they find out that you are harbouring secret sexual or
emotion desires about them. Acting like a woman's friend on the
coffee date is a disastrous mistake.

‘Just be honest with her’ is also some poisonous advice that gets
thrown around. Some men tend to think that being honest with a
woman means admitting and confessing to every single thing that
they have ever done wrong with a woman. They feel compelled to
confess all their wrongs in the hope that the woman realises that
they are just trying to be honest. This is totally unnecessary and
just downright weird. They talk about their past relationships and
about how and why they went wrong. This is a big mistake.

From now on you will avoid discussing the subject of ex partners

with your coffee dates. If she begins to talk about it, as women
often do, change the subject, distract her, or do something not to
get drawn into the topic of ex partners. For some reason many
women like to discuss this only to find that after they have talked
about it, they wished they hadn't. This will be a backwards step
for you if you allow the conversation to drift down this path. Now
that you know better, it's up to you to move the conversation topic
away from this subject. There can be no positive outcome from
this topic of conversation. Avoid it, but do not make it obvious.

If you feel you must talk about it because she has brought up the
subject more than once, then it's best to just remain vague about
all the details. Convey that you have had no trouble with any
woman and that you do not have any hang-ups when it comes to
women. You have no
issues with any ex partners and things just simply didn't work
out. Never discuss in any detail the history of your past
relationships. Your past results do not dictate your future results.
If your date continues to pressure you on the subject of your ex's
you can simply say things like. "...I don't want to waste precious
time with you talking about other women that mean nothing to
me...when I could be talking to you about much more interesting
things with you...don't you agree..."

A lot of women will begin to talk about their ex partners on the

coffee date. Don't let her do this. She will only be reliving negative
past emotions whilst she is in your company. If you let her
continue to do this she will not associate being around you as a
pleasurable experience. When a woman talks about a negative
subject she is also experiencing the emotions that accompany it.
You don't want her experiencing those emotions whilst she is
around you. You want her to experience emotions that are
conducive to her feeling attraction and sexual tension, not
negativity. Nice guys tend to let women talk about their past
relationships in an attempt to bond with them. They end up being
her emotional tampon and it gets them absolutely nowhere but
into the friend category.
Most women touch on the subject of ex partners briefly, but then
move onto something else, so it's fine. If she continues to talk
about her ex partners you're going to get nowhere fast. Try saying
to her, "...hey you know what...when we're together I'd much
prefer to be talking about you, than talking about him...He seems
a bit boring to be honest... I think that your much more
interesting to talk about, so why don't you tell me about
something that makes you feel good in life..." This will usually do
the trick and allows you to change the topic of conversation easily.

So let's review what you've learnt. You've learn that it's not enough
to just be yourself. You're really going to have to step outside some
of your old boundaries and try some new things. Things that
might seem a little strange at first, but like anything, the more you
practice them, the better you'll become. You're going to integrate
the flirting and seduction techniques that you'll learn in later
chapters into your methods of
communicating with women. Flirting and being creative in a
manner that allows you to seduce women will not come naturally
at first. But given time and practice you'll develop a great skill that
will eventually seem to come natural to you. The more natural it
becomes to you, the more naturally women will be attracted to
you. You'll always be yourself no matter what you do, but you
must begin to show sides and parts of yourself that don't always
seem to come naturally at first. Let's just say that you'll become a
more advanced version of yourself.

You've learnt that being a nice guy is not nearly enough to allow
women to feel the necessary feelings they need to feel in order for
them to be attracted to you sexually and emotionally. That being a
nice guy from a woman's view point is interpreted as neediness
and desperation. Being a nice guy has no real benefit when it
comes to seduction. But you will always be a gentleman...there is
a difference. Women want men who can be fierce, yet playful.
Adventurous and romantic...but not just nice, that wont cut it.
You've learnt that you don't have to look like Brad Pitt in order to
have massive success with women. You've learnt that it's much
more important that you're able to evoke the correct feelings
within a woman for her to become immensely attracted to you.
You've learnt that to go about seducing a woman on a coffee date
by becoming her friend is a disastrous mistake. You'll no longer
hide your true feelings and desires and will become confident
enough to express them throughout the coffee date with the
women you desire.
You've learnt to take responsibility for your entire dating game and
to stop expecting women to make life any easier for you by doing
some of the work for you. You've accepted that you are entirely
responsible for every detail of the seduction and you have put
yourself in a position of power and control by accepting this
responsibility. You don't hold any resentment towards women for
your lack of success with women and you are always increasing
the quality of your expert's attitude towards your responsibilities.

You know to avoid discussions about ex partners as much as

possible and you know what to say should the subject continue to
keep
arising. You also know better than to bring up things that will not
be beneficial to the seduction process just because you want to get
them off your chest and be honest with her. You've learnt to leave
the past alone and to focus on the present thus increasing the
quality of your future.

THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS

The following commandments are crucial to acing the coffee date.

Some of these commandments may seem obscure at first, but
you'll find that an unsuccessful coffee date is usually due to
breaking a commandment.

Commandment One...Thou shalt pay careful attention to detail

regarding one's appearance...

This really is basic, but is extremely essential. It's absolutely

critical to be impeccably dressed to suit the situation. Although
most coffee dates require casual attire it is imperative that your
version of casual is dangerously smooth. It's a simple detail to
dress right and it's totally necessary. Women care about the way
you dress. If your dress sense borders on perfection then she'll be
impressed before you even open your mouth.
Women care about the finer details. Women notice if your shoes
are slightly dirty or if your watch doesn't match your shirt. Put
simply, they care about style. For some men this can be hard to
understand as they may view things like this as trivial, superficial
and meaningless. However these same men who view style as
superficial also tend to greatly appreciate women who look
stunning both in appearance and dress. Is this not a slightly
hypocritical attitude? Men that think of style and attention to
detail as a trivial matter need to remember the feelings that they
experience when they see a gorgeous stylish woman. Do women
not deserve the same when they are in your company? Just
because you are a man is no reason for you not to get it right
when it comes to style. If you don't pay attention to detail you're
only going to make things a lot harder for yourself.
Not all women are style fanatics but it's highly beneficial for you to
cover all your bases. Even if she's the kind of girl that doesn't
focus on fashion and style, she will still appreciate a man in front
of her that knows how to dress. It's important that you don't
overdress for the situation either as this is seen in a woman's eyes
as also not being able to dress properly. Don't make that mistake
and ensure you find the happy medium.
A woman once confessed to a friend of mine that she only decided
to see him again because he wore high quality shoes. Strange but
true...This is how obsessed some women can be when it comes to
attention to detail. Knowing this, you might as well take advantage
of it.
No matter how advanced your game is on the inside, if you do not
present yourself correctly on the outside you're making things
extremely hard for yourself. Your cloths and appearance can
speak louder about your character than your words. If you can
become a master at dressing sharply and appropriately for any
given situation then you will make your job at least easier. On the
coffee date she will be more receptive towards you, more attracted
to you, and she will be more at ease with you.

Remember, when you are not speaking your cloths are speaking
for you. What do you want yours to say about you?
Commandment Two...Thou shalt always be punctual.

So far this sounds more like a job interview than a coffee date. Try
to remember that it's not important that you do everything
perfectly right, it's more important that you don't do anything
wrong. Being late is wrong. Women are less capable than men of
waiting alone in public places. They simply do not like it. They
have trouble occupying themselves and cannot get their minds off
the fact that they are alone and waiting for you. You'll never
impress a woman by being fashionably late to a coffee date. If she
is on time and has to wait for you, she'll be experiencing stress
before you even arrive, and when you do finally get there guess
who's going to have to deal with it.
If you're slightly late on purpose then you're just playing games
with her and what's the point of that. To give yourself a false sense
of importance, or to impress upon her that you don't really care
about being on time. Either way it won't work for you and you'll
lose ground with women if you're not on time. It's so simple so get
it right. If you do run late accidently, pretend as if nothing has
happened for the first thirty seconds, and then say something to
her like, "...and by the way...I know something as beautiful as you
shouldn't be kept waiting...my apologies for that...", and then
change the subject quickly by asking her how her day was or
something similar. When you have to apologize to a woman it
lowers your status. When you can mix a compliment in with the
apology it distracts her from the issue. It's much easier to just not
be late...

Commandment Three...Thou shalt practice, practice, practice...

Throughout this book you're going to be taught techniques that

help you create connection. A common reason that guys don't get
the coffee date right is because they don't put in the practice to
learn and memorise
these techniques. The techniques don't come naturally to most
men and require practice. They require memorisation and
discipline. If you don't put in the work you won't get the results.
Talking romantically and hypnotically to women requires practice.
This is something that you can do whilst you're alone in your car
or at home. Give yourself the best chance by memorizing some of
the examples in later chapters and ensure that you can recite a
few of them without any mistakes. The more you practice them
the more natural it will sound to her and the better they will work.
To use these techniques correctly you have to feel comfortable
with them. And the best way to achieve that is by practicing.

Commandment Four...Thou shalt be fully prepared for success...

When you're utilising the techniques in this book to build

connection you must be prepared for anything to happen. It's
possible that some women will be so swept up by the mood that
they might want to become intimate with you straight after the
coffee date. You need to be prepared for this. Firstly you must
ensure that your car is perfectly clean. It doesn't really matter
what kind of car you drive, it's just got to be clean...especially on
the inside. If she decides to become intimate with you and gets
inside your car and sits down next to an empty red-bull can and a
cheese burger wrapper, she'll quickly lose her enthusiasm.

What if she feels like another coffee that is home made especially
by you. How do you think she is going to feel if your place isn't
clean? Turned off, that's how she'll feel. Again these preparations
are simple and can mean the difference to her ever wanting to see
you again. It sounds harsh but women are very critical about
things like this early on in the courtship. It's too easy to just get it
right. Then all your bases are covered should the unexpected
happen.

Commandment Five...Thou shalt carefully follow the time

limitation...
This date is not intended so you can just hang out with her and
see what happens. You're now becoming an expert with women so
you no longer approach any dates without structure and purpose.
The real purpose of this date is to strengthen your connection with
her to ensure that she is willing to see you again for a second date.
A crucially important factor of this coffee date is to keep it short
and limited to a period of 20 to 40 minutes. There are several
reasons behind this. Firstly, you do not know enough about this
woman to socialize with her for any longer than 40 minutes.
Secondly, you're following a carefully created plan to ensure that
you succeed with this woman.
Remember that 99% of women need to spend around 8 hours
with you before they are comfortable in becoming intimate with
you. Breaking these 8 hours into a period of 40 minutes and then
a period of 7 hours ensures your highest chances of success. Let's
look at the reasons behind this.
Women can become easily bored with you. If you spend longer
than 40 minutes with her on the initial coffee date the connection
your building will level out and won't continue to grow. This is
because it can only reach a certain level before the next natural
stage is to start kissing and touching her.
If this doesn't happen she’ll become bored and frustrated. But the
trouble is that she’ll also have a problem with letting that happen
because you haven't spent anywhere near 8 hours with her. So
although you might have created a great connection with her and
she is feeling like moving to the next stages with you...she
won't...and she'll blame you for it. Because in her mind she'll be
saying. The connection was there but nothing happened...He must
be too shy, or it just wasn't meant to be..." When in reality it's just
that 99% of women won't let anything happen before the 8 hour
mark.

Only spending 40 minutes with her allows you to build a strong

enough connection for her to want to see you again and it also
ensures that she will not become bored with you. In her mind
there is no chance that anything could happen in 40 minutes yet
she will still be interested
enough in you to want to see you again. Does this sound true to
you? Remember that this has been thoroughly tested. On many
occasions I have created a great connection and have been
persuaded into staying longer with her. On a consistent basis I
have found that when I have stayed longer, there wasn't enough
mystery left between us for her to want to see me again. On every
single occasion that I have kept the coffee date short and
established a good connection, the women has accepted the
invitation to go on a second date.

You must leave her wanting more. Be forewarned that it will be

hard to cut the coffee date short if you're really connecting with
her. But if you don't she will become frustrated because it's only
natural for her to feel this way, and you'll also kill all the mystery
because you've stayed too long. Ensure you tell her beforehand
that you have a time limitation as this also takes pressure off the
whole interaction. She won't feel like she has to be stuck with you
for hours if things don't work out. She'll also be more inclined to
accept you invitation knowing that you've told her it's only a short
(and hopefully sweet) coffee date. We'll cover how to invite her on
this date soon...

Each commandment has a value of 20% as there are five of them

totalling 100%. If you break one of them then you diminish your
chances of succeeding with her by 20%. You might just get away
with breaking one...but if you break two of them and diminish
your chances by 40%, the results for you will be obvious. They're
pretty simple to follow so ensure that you give yourself a 100%
chance.

THE TOOL KIT

You can connect with women all you want about common likes
and dislikes, but it won't be taking you in the direction you want
to go with them. The purpose of the coffee date is to create a
connection with the women you desire so they're interested in you,
attracted to you, and inclined to see you again. This connection
must be founded on attraction and sexual tension...not common
interests and friendship. The only way to create such a connection
is to flirt with her.
Flirtation allows you to play and have fun with women. It helps to
build rapport and trust. When you flirt with a woman it allows her
to experience what you would be like as a lover or a boyfriend. In
the process of you flirting with her she will be subconsciously
experiencing how creative you are, and how much fun you might
be whilst in a relationship with you.

If you cannot have fun with her whilst flirting on the coffee date
then how can she possibly have fun with you in a relationship?
This is why flirting with a woman correctly is very important. You
must acknowledge this and give it the attention and practice it
requires for you to become good at it. This may seem like an
extremely awkward and somewhat painful process for some
men...but...like anything you practice; you will become better at it.
The problem is that most men do not find this fun because they
have negative emotions attached to the process. Some of these
typical emotions are rejection and humiliation, yet we can
categorise all of them under the simple heading of "fear".
Try to reduce the pressure of the interaction for yourself. A good
technique to help you achieve a state of detachment is to pretend
that you already have a girlfriend. Concentrate, and imagine how
gorgeous she is...and how does it make you feel knowing she's
already at home waiting for you. But before you go home to see
her...go and have a fun and flirtatious coffee date with this woman
because your girlfriend insists that you do...

This method is just telling your psyche that you already have what
you want and there is no pressure for it to work out, therefore you
can have some fun. So let's learn about the different ways we can
flirt.

WEAPONS TRAINING

There's about four really good ways to flirt with women and they're
all quiet different from each other. They all work well in their own
right but when combined they become a powerful seduction
weapon. When you use only one style it tends to get a bit repetitive
for the woman and she
begins to see through it. The trick is to master each one so you
can create a combination that suits you. Then you can adjust that
combination depending on your mood or what kind of girl you're
with.

The first flirting technique you're going to learn is a technique that

has been coined ‘cocky and funny’ and was created by an old
school seduction artist named David DeAngelo. Basically it
involves you talking and acting in such a confident and cocky
manner that it becomes funny. You turn on this alter ego
unpredictably when it suits you so you can play with her and
make her laugh, which in turn builds connection. It's powerful
because it also slightly shocks some women and they don't know
what to make of it sometimes.
This seduces women because they are not use to this kind of
challenge. Women are usually use to being in control and having
the power over men where as when guys use the ‘cocky and funny’
technique to flirt with women they take all that power back
again...and this can be a big turn on for women. You definitely
don't leave this alter ego on all the time when you're with her. but
it is always lurking in the background waiting for an opportunity
to come out.
It's a very tongue-in-cheek kind of confidence and this is what
makes it funny too. It has more to do with the things you can say
rather than the way you behave but it can also seep into your
behaviour when it's called for.
The reason women find this technique of flirting seductive is
because most women don't meet guys that are capable of acting
this way. This does take some skill to master and it would do you
a world of good to watch some of the examples that can be found
on 'YouTube' by simply typing in 'cocky and funny'.

Women are sometimes shocked by some of the things that can

come out of your mouth whilst using this technique but they are
also turned on by it. They don't know what to quiet make of it and
that's why they like it. To some degree it's virtually the opposite of
a nice-guy. This is why women like it. Whilst using it it's all about
the correct dosage and timing.
Just imagine you have 17 million dollars in your bank account
and you already have five girlfriends and you know that all women
want a piece of you. This is the mindset that a ’cocky and funny’
master has. Let's look at some examples that you could possible
use on the coffee date...
You take a sip of your coffee and as you're putting it down you
sigh and say, "...I've got to be honest with you... I am getting a bit
tired of girls trying seduce me on coffee dates...I just feel like trying
something different for a change,... I know, let's pretend that I'm
really interested in you...Now you try to hide your desire for me
and let me try to work some of my magic on you..." (Perhaps reach
across the table and pick up one of her hands and say, 'my you
certainly do have lovely nails', as you gently caress her hand)...
Then you say, "...Hey this is great...you're really good at this...I
should reward your efforts for not pressuring me and just listening
to me...I might even be tempted to let you kiss me if you keep this
up..."

Alter saying something like that to her you'd just let the statement
simmer momentarily and then just totally change the topic by
asking her a question about something. You'd only want to use
this technique about two or three times throughout the 40
minutes you spend with her.

Another example might be if you have to get up out of your chair

through the coffee date for some reason. You act slightly shocked
as you say to her, "...did you just look at my ass..!?" Then she'll
probably giggle a bit and smile...and then you say, "...and now
you're thinking about it too..." The mood has to be right for you to
use this kind of flirtation but when it is, it can be powerful stuff.

Another example is if she accidently spills something or fumbles

with something or does anything clumsy at all you can just say to
her, "...careful, because your ruining your chances with me..." Or
perhaps if she starts to talk about something you don't want to
talk about, especially something like your ex girlfriend or her ex
you can say to her, "...Oh my, you were doing so well before you
brought that subject up...you just lost a couple of points there..."
Remember the key to using
this technique is to sense when the mood is right and like
anything that's funny it's also the timing.

It's important whilst using this technique to maintain a slight

degree of seriousness about you. This is what leaves her guessing
as some women aren't sure how to take it. If a woman just looks at
you with a serious look on her face after you say something like
the above examples it's important that you don't just fold your act
by saying, "...Oh come on I was only joking..." This only lets her
know that she has the power over you and this will kill attraction.
If you do get one of those "I can't believe you just said that" looks
off her, just stay composed and don't crack by apologising to her.
It's actually best if you follow one of those looks with another
‘cocky and funny’ comment like, "hey don't be too hard on
yourself...it is ok to look..." And remember the mindset...All
women want you anyway...so you have no problems...

The second technique that you can use to flirt on the coffee date is
called, 'the role play'. This technique capitalizes on your
imagination by playing a pretend game with her at least once on
the date. You can get your cue off something she does or
something she says. Let it come to you spontaneously. Always
play this game using a positive situation and never a negative one.
You don't want to play the part of the parking inspector who just
gave her a ticket.

For example, as she is taking a sip of coffee you could say. "...so
what's your favourite kind of coffee...?" After she tells you what it
is you can say. "...Ok let's play a game then...we've set the scene
here in the cafe and the hidden cameras are over there. You only
get one take at this. You've got to take the most seductive sip of
coffee imaginable to try and sell your brand of coffee and make all
others desire and crave what you have. This could turn us both
into stars...so it's got to be one sexy sip. So your cue to take the
perfect sip is when I put my cup down, but I'm not going to put it
down straight away because this is thirty second commercial and
we've both got to act a bit too before you take this sip. Are you
ready...? Ok here goes..."
This allows the two of you to break away from reality and have fun
together. It allows her to show you and experience her sexy side
with you. You've got to create the right mood to bring her out of
her shell and the best way for that to happen is for you to be in the
right mood. When you've both finished this little connection
building role play you should give her a compliment for being a
good sport. You can try something like. "...You know you were
actually pretty good at that..." and then just continue to converse
with her about something else. For example, "...So tell me what
else you're pretty good at...?"

Another type of flirting technique that works extremely well on

coffee dates is the use of seductive hypnotic descriptions. By
creating conversational topics that lend themselves to this concept
you are able to use seductive hypnotic descriptions which in turn
allow the woman to feel and experience emotions conducive to
attraction. Remember it's all about how you can make a woman
feel and there's nothing else to it.

Seductive hypnotic descriptions work because you're using every

day words that have sexual connotations attached to them. Words
such as ‘wet’ and ‘hard’, or ‘soft’ and ‘sensitive’. Using these words
within a sentence that is constructed around a romantic topic
whist speaking in a seductive tone can be a powerful seduction
technique.
The way to use this technique is to talk about a subject that lends
itself to the possibility of you describing how you feel or think
about something. Now all of the following subjects are good
conversation topics in their own right but they all also lend
themselves to massive doses of seductive hypnotic descriptions.
Her first kiss...?

Her favourite holiday destination and why...?

Things that make her feel good...?

Her favourite animal and her favourite food...?

What her idea of romance is...?

The most exciting thing she has ever done....?
Let's run through an example from one of the above topics. It's
best to ask her questions like the ones above whilst you are
already talking about a subject that is somewhat related to the
question you're going to ask her. It will sound strange to her if you
just come out and ask her, "Describe your first kiss for me"
Create a topic of conversation that will easily lead into the
question. Perhaps you can begin by asking her about where she
went to school. Then you can easily direct the topic onto other
questions that will allow you to use this technique. You could then
ask her if she remembers her very first boyfriend. And from there
it becomes easy and natural to ask her a question like, "...so do
you still remember what your first real kiss was like...?"

These kinds of questions allow her to relive the exciting romantic

feelings she experienced while she is describing her first kiss to
you. As she is telling you about her first kiss she will to some
degree be experiencing those feelings whilst she is in your
company. And the more she experiences those emotions around
you, the more she'll become attracted to you. Questions like these
also give you a great opportunity to use 'seductive hypnotic
descriptions' to tell her about your first kiss.

Often women will reciprocate the question back to you and this is
where you would use seductive hypnotic descriptions (SHD's).
However, after you've asked her about her very first kiss it doesn't
really matter what answer she gives you nor does it matter if she
doesn't ask you the question in return. You can start your SHD's
by saying, "...Oh...I definitely remember my first kiss..." and then
continue into your SHD. This statement alone would play on her
curiosity and she would probably ask you to tell her all about it
anyway.

Let's look at an example of a seductive hypnotic description.

"...I definitely remember my first kiss...it was actually in the
rain...we took shelter under this big tree and because everywhere
was so wet it made it hard to stay dry so we leant up against the
tree...We'd only come there to kiss....so we both knew it was going
to happen...I didn't expect her lips to be so soft, and I had to kiss
her so gently....As we kissed big droplets of water fell onto our
faces from the wet leaves above....The kiss
warmed up my entire body and I felt warm even though I was wet
...We ran back to where we were supposed to be and it felt like we
both had a little secret to keep..."
Now the words in italic in the above description can all be
associated with sexuality. Although they are not being used in that
context, it's the innuendo and connotations attached to them that
give SHD's their power. (Try just reading the words in italic only)
By using these words in sentences that are slightly confusing, you
are bypassing her conscious filters and these words are going
straight through to her subconscious. This is how the hypnotic
factor of the equation functions.
The words in italic can also be ever so slightly and subtly
emphasised using a seductive tone. Even if you just spoke the
above example in a normal tone it would still work wonders. The
injection of a seductive tone has to be very subtle and not at all
obvious. Another way to colour it with a seductive tone is to place
a subtle emphasis on the spaces in between the sentences. To
allow them to be...just slightly... longer than you would in a
normal sentence. This colours the description with a seductive
hypnotic rhythm.

Try to use two seductive hypnotic descriptions throughout your

coffee date and don't make them any longer than the example
above. Make sure you practice and rehearse them alone so when it
comes time for you to use them they come naturally for you. The
more natural and proficient you become at using them, the better
they'll work for you.

The fourth technique is a technique coined ‘push and pull’. This

technique lends itself to the coffee date because it's easy to master
and works well in any situation. As the name suggests it involves
emotionally pushing the woman away and then pulling her back
in again. It also works in the reverse order.
Women like to receive validation from men. ‘Push and pull’
involves validating a woman via a compliment or statement and
then taking that validation away again via an opposing statement
or negative observation. It works well because it takes you out of
the nice guy category when you make a negative observation
about a woman. It
challenges her and leaves her guessing as to where she stands
with you. When you get this technique right you can virtually have
women tagging for your approval. And when they tag, you can give
it to them only for a moment...and then you'll take it away again...

It is somewhat related to the 'cocky and funny' technique and it

will work best for you if you use it whilst adopting the 'cocky and
funny' mindset (All women want me). This technique has to be
somewhat toned down a notch on the coffee date and it cannot be
the only flirting technique you use by any means. Only use it
sparingly and don't use it more than twice throughout the date.
She has already shown some genuine interest in you by agreeing
to go on this date with you so 'push and pull' on the coffee date is
best used in a light hearted manner. And remember you always
have to keep things playful because it has to be fun for her.

Let's take a look at some classic examples of 'push and pull' that
you could use on the coffee date.
You; "...Can you pass the sugar please sugar..." (Pull)
Her; ...Passes you the sugar as she is smiling...
You; "...I hope you're not going to do everything I tell you to..."
(Push)

Her; ...Looks bemused...and says. "...but...umm...I

thought...umm..."

You; "...But then again, I could have some fun with that..."(Pull)

Example 2:

Her; "...So what is it exactly that you do for work again...?"

You; ...Pretending to yawn and then saying. "...You're not just
going to ask me boring questions like that are you...?" (Push)

Her; "...Um no...What do you mean...?"

You; "...With looks like yours you probably get away with a lot but
you're going to have to be a little more creative than that if we
want to have some fun here..." (Pull then push)
You; "...Ask me something daring and spontaneous so we can
have some fun...I know you've got it in you..." (Pull)
Her; "...Um...well ok...what is it that...etc...?
From there the conversation could go anywhere... The most
important factor of this kind of flirtation is the right mind set.
Don't doubt yourself. The more you believe in yourself...the more
fun she'll have with it. Wait until you're in a playful mood before
you use it and it will work much better for you.

Remember you are teasing her to a degree whilst using this

technique so you need to find that fine line which keeps everything
playful. If you cross over that line she'll think you're a jerk. And if
you don't go close enough to the line, she'll think you're a wimp.
Just use your intuition to stay as close to the line as possible and
you'll get the best results.

The final flirtation technique that can be adopted on the coffee

date is called the 'romancer'. This technique is founded upon the
correct topics of conversation whilst ensuring the conversation
itself has the correct dynamics. The 'romancer' works because you
always find yourself talking about subjects conducive to creating
attraction and connection. It's simply talking about subjects that
are romantic in nature.

Whenever people talk about a particular subject they experience

the associated emotions relative to the subject matter. When the
topic of conversation is about something romantic in nature it will
cause the woman to experience romantic feelings. When she
experiences romantic feelings around you...it is natural for her to
feel a romantic connection to you.

The golden rule when using the 'romancer' technique is to ensure

that before you ask any woman a question, you must have your
answer to the same question ready to go. Should she ask you the
same question in return, which she probably will, you'll always
have the advantage of knowing what your reply will be. This is the
secret of the 'romancer'
technique. This technique requires you to rehearse and recite the
optimum responses to your own romantic questions.

This is a lot easier than it sounds because you have time on your
side. You simply think of a few romantic questions to ask her and
you spend your time writing out replies to those very same
questions. Once you are completely happy with your response to
the question you memorise and rehearse it until it becomes
second nature. Movie stars talk smooth because they do their
homework and remember their lines...not because they make stuff
up on the spot.

Let's take a look at some questions you might ask her and some
rehearsed replies that you could respond with.

"...So tell me...what's your idea of romance Kathy...?"

After she responds to the question and then asks you the same
question back, the 'romancer' would respond with something
similar to;

"...Hmm...I'd say...it's the simple things...like suddenly realising

the beauty in a curl of your lover's hair....or...slowly feeding your
lover chocolate while you watch the soft flame of a candle dance in
her eyes...or maybe...walking together in the moonlight on the
beach...perhaps...sharing a hot chocolate together while you
watch the sunrise...or maybe...going for a bush walk and picking
her a wild rose...I guess it depends what on what kind of mood I'm
in and how creative I'm feeling..."
As the ‘romancer’ flawlessly recites something similar to this
example with a degree of perfection that would make a movie star
envious, the woman can't help but feel romantic emotions as she
is hearing these ideas. For that brief moment in time she
experiences romantic feelings whilst she is in your presence thus
enhancing the romantic connection between the two of you. Let's
try another example...
"...So what would your fantasy holiday consist of Kathy...?"

Now she might or might not reply to this question and either way
it doesn't matter as it will still leave an opportunity for you to
describe to her your idea of a fantasy holiday. She'll describe to
you what her version of a fantasy holiday is and then ask you the
same question back or shell
say she hadn't really thought about it and ask you what your idea
of a fantasy holiday is. Either way it will give you an opportunity to
use your carefully rehearsed answer to evoke romantic feelings
within her. The 'romancer' would reply to the question with
something similar to...
"...I suppose it depends on climate...If it was hot I'd have to say
that relaxing in a hammock next to the ocean whilst sipping on a
tropical cocktail as the cool ocean breeze washes over me sounds
enticing...and just being able to get up and dive into the turquoise
water somewhere in the Caribbean would have to be my hot
weather fantasy...hmm...and let's see...a winter fantasy...for me,
that would be watching the sunrise over a snow covered mountain
through the window as your still curled up in bed with the sound
of the fireplace crackling in the background and the smell of hot
chocolate coming from the kitchen...and then having a nice warm
breakfast and heading out to have some fun in the powdered
snow...that would definitely do it for me..."
As with the first example, whilst you're reciting an answer like this
to her it allows her to experience all of the associated feelings
related to your description. It is causing her to feel good in your
presence. It's making her think about experiencing those things
and this in turn is causing her to experience emotions that are
conducive to enhancing the strength of your connection with her.

All of these flirting techniques can work wonders for you on the
coffee date. They can all be practiced in your own time so you
really have no excuses for not getting them right. If any of the
techniques don't sound right for you remember that we've already
discussed that you're going to have to show a different side of
yourself to use some of these techniques. The more you practice
them the more you'll be able to use them naturally and
effortlessly. When you combine all of these techniques together
using each one as the opportunity or mood arises...your success
will be assured...
THE FIRST PHONE CALL

This coffee date guide book wouldn't be complete without covering

the guidelines for the actual invitation to the coffee date. After all,
you have to call her to invite her out. After she has given you her
number, the only reason you should be calling her is to ask her
out. Never call a woman just to chat. During these very early
stages of the courtship it is crucial that you follow the plan and
the plan doesn't include calling her up for small talk. It involves
calling her for the specific purpose of inviting her out for coffee.
Now you've gone through the work of getting her number so it's
crucial here that you don't mess it up with this first phone call.
Although you've had to establish a connection with her in order to
get her number, no matter how good that connection was, the
dynamics of this first phone call are going to be different. The
connection that you established in order to get her number has
long gone, so this first phone call has got to be right. And yes, it
has to be a phone call.

The majority of women when surveyed admitted that they prefer a

man to call them, rather than text them. It shows women you're
man enough to call them, rather than tread around the edges with
text messages. Text messages can sometimes confuse the issue as
she may not get your sense of humour and texts fail to convey
emotion which is what women are all about. However most
women will just think you haven't got the courage to call them if
you text them first. Also, texting her is a risky approach as she
may not reply to it, and any messages you send after she hasn't
replied will cause you to come across as needy or desperate.

Texting her usually only works if she has initiated the first contact
via sending you a text message. Then its fine then to text her back.
But women will also text you first as a means of getting you to call
them. It's fine to respond to a couple of texts but you really need to
call her to set up the coffee date. Don't get caught up in texting
marathons with her as this will be too much hard work for you in
the end, and it will also take away from the mystery and
anticipation of meeting you again. You’ll end
up having to constantly work at coming up with witty and
interesting replies to all of her little messages and you're breaking
the rule of 'minimum contact before the second date". This
minimum contact rule is founded upon the principle that the
more you say to a woman before the second date, the more likely
you are to blow your chances with her. Knowing this, let's get back
to the first phone call.

There is no right time to call her. A lot has been said about this,
but ultimately, every girl is different. While one girl might
experience exciting anticipation as she waits for your call for a few
days, another girl might just think you're a wimp for not calling
her sooner and an ass for making her wait. There is no perfect
time to call her. In saying that, no one likes talking to voice mail so
ideally you might want to call her after 5.30 so she's not at work
and she can actually take the call. But remember, the best time to
call her is when you feel good, and you're in a confident mood. A
well left voice message asking her out somewhere is still better
than a bumbling phone call, so make sure you're in the right
mood for this. Now let's lay out the guide lines for this first call.

Do not call her from a private number. A lot of women do not

answer phone calls from a private number. If she doesn't answer
your first call and you call her later again on a private number, it's
going to start freaking her out. Have the decency to reveal your
number to her. Most women wouldn't give you their number if
they didn't want you to call them. She is also more likely to accept
the call from you even if she doesn't recognize the number.

Now this first phone call is going to be fully rehearsed by you. The
reasons you need to rehearse this phone call is because if it rings
and ends up going to her voice mail, you're still going to leave a
message asking her out. Now how many guys have the courage to
do this...? Gorgeous women have lots of offers but this will really
put you a cut above the rest if you can leave a well spoken
message inviting her out for coffee. Instinctively most guys would
hang up if they called a girl for the first time and it went to voice
mail. But not you...

Because you're on your way to becoming an expert with women,

this is one facet of the seduction game that you're going to master.
It's simply a matter of writing out exactly what you're going to say
and
rehearsing it for a day, just like an actor rehearses his lines. If you
don't do your homework here, it can fall apart, so it's definitely
well worth it. You're trying to become familiar with leaving a
message that you wouldn't normally leave, so there is no shame in
practicing this until you get it right. It's a shame however to get a
girls number and blow it because you didn't practice this simple
art...and yes you're going to turn it into an art form.

When you show a woman you have the courage to ask her out via
voice mail it leaves her with a memento, and she will definitely
listen to the message a few times and the likelihood of her calling
you back is far greater than that of a missed call on her phone,
Let’s look at the alternative of not leaving a message.
If you hang up when it goes to voice mail the first time you call
and she doesn't return your missed call, you're going to have to
call her again. Wait at least one day before you call her back as
you don't want to leave two missed calls on her phone in the same
day. If she doesn't answer again that's two missed calls from your
number on her phone. Now if you called again the following day
that would be three missed calls on her phone.... sounds
desperate, and a tad creepy. Not good. It's much better just to
leave a message the first time you call if she doesn't answer her
phone. A simple message something like this will do you
wonders...

"Hi Stacey, its Steve... we met at the ice rink on Saturday... I was
calling to ask you out for a coffee this Thursday night... I know
this cool little cafe where they serve great coffee...and I'd love to get
to know you a bit better over a coffee...I'm free around seven on
Thursday so give me a call back and let me know if that's good for
you. Ok, hear from you soon...bye"

It's short, but not too short. If you seriously rehearsed this
message you could really inject some subliminal tonal seduction
into it. After you read through it 50 times you could make it your
own and have it absolutely perfected. It also contains the word
love in it, and women adore that word. There is no emphasis on
that word, but it is still covertly inserted into the message. It is
also seeded with the gentle subliminal expectation that she will
call you back. (Ok, hear from you soon...bye)
These gentle subliminal expectations can be very powerful
psychological tools when used correctly.
But remember: some women may be very interested in a man and
yet even after the man has called and left a message, they will not
respond to it. They sometimes get too busy, or they forget, or they
just can’t be bothered sometimes. This may sound strange but
remember they are wired different to men. Just because she
doesn't call back doesn't mean she isn't interested. That's why
you're going to adopt a three strike call policy. The important thing
to remember is; do not take this dating game personally. If you do,
it will hinder your form and create resentment within you. You're a
smooth operator...not a guy who holds grudges against women
that don't call back.
You want to call the girl at least two days before you plan to meet
as this gives her an extra day to get around to calling you or
texting you back. So you'd want to call her on Tuesday evening if
you want to meet her on Thursday evening. That way if she hasn't
called you back by midday on Thursday you can give her another
call back mid afternoon on Thursday. If she doesn't answer again
and it goes to voice mail, you guessed it; you're going to leave her
another perfect message. And here's how your second message is
going to play out.

"...Hi Stacey, its Steve...I'd really like to take you out for a coffee
this evening and get to know you a little better.... I think you'd look
cute with cappuccino froth on your nose... I'm free around seven
so it'd be great to hear from you so we could meet up tonight. Ok,
hear from you soon Stace...bye..."

Now you'll notice in this message that there is no referral to the

first message that you left her. If you did add something into the
second message like. "I left you a message on Tuesday", you can
come across as negative and you sound like a complainer. She
knows that you left her a message on Tuesday; she doesn't need to
be reminded of it. It would also carry the presupposition that she
was meant to respond to that message. So forget about reminding
her that you've already left her a message as there is nothing to
gain from that. The fact that you don't remind her about it shows
her that you're a man who is easy going and not clingy or needy. It
shows her you're a man that doesn't get hung up on little
things. This will be refreshing for her. It will also increase the
chances of her calling you back despite the fact that she didn't
return your first message.

This second message contains a compliment which also shows her

that you couldn't care less that she didn't return the first message.
The message doesn't contain the word love in it again as this
would over use the word. It still contains a subliminal expectation
that she is going to call you back and it also uses a shortened
version of her name which subliminally builds comfort and trust.
Don't get lazy and forget to rehearse this message thoroughly. Any
words you mispronounce or any time you trip up in a sentence
will tend to come across as you lacking self confidence, so make
sure you do your homework again. If you do trip up, just ignore it
or laugh at yourself, don't take it seriously, and keep going.

Now while we're talking about messages let's assume that she
hasn't responded to the last two messages you've left her and
Thursday night has come and gone. Wait at least a day and call
her again. If she answers, don't make a big deal about the fact that
she hasn't returned any of your messages. Just proceed to
converse with her as you'll learn to do so in the upcoming
paragraphs, and forget about her failing to return your messages
the first two times. Remember your job is to date her and make
her feel good, not make her wrong and feel bad.

However if this third phone call goes to voice mail again it's best to
leave a message like this for her;... "Hi Stacey,...its Steve. I felt
some chemistry with you last Saturday when we met...so that's
why I asked for your number. I was hoping to take you out on
Thursday but you haven't responded to any of the messages I've
left you,...so this is the last time I'm going to call you....because I
don't want to bother you if you're not interested.... If you'd like to
call me back and chat that'd be great....but if you don't,... I won't
call you anymore....I hope to hear from you soon....and if I
don't....it was nice to meet you Stacey....bye.

Again, make sure you thoroughly rehearse the message so it

comes across natural. Use a polite tone throughout the entire
message. You'd be surprised how many girls will call you back
after you leave this message. It shows your interested because it's
the third message you've left her and it also tells her that it's the
last time you're going to call her. Some
women love men who don't give up and they will only be flattered
by your persistence. It also lets them know that you're no longer
available should they fail to call you back again. You're not making
her wrong throughout the message; you're just clearly and politely
stating that you won't call her anymore. Once some women know
this, you're value will go up and they will be inclined to call you.
But, do not call her again. There is no need for you to chase
women who are clearly not interested....move on and don't take it
personally. For all you know she might have started seeing her ex
boyfriend again....it's not your problem. Now let's learn how to
handle the first call when she does answer the call.

Firstly you must ensure that you have a definite destination in

mind of where you're going to invite her for coffee, and a backup
plan in place should she object to a particular destination for
some reason. This is essential so that you do not come across as
unsure of yourself when you're asking her to meet you at a
particular destination. You need to have specific coffee shop in
mind and a reason for choosing the destination. And on top of that
you need to have a back up shop too in case she has an objection
regarding your first suggestion.
This way, no matter what happens you have two destinations in
mind, and reasons for choosing both. No matter what her
objection is, you'll sound smooth and unshaken when it comes to
handling her objection.
Some women will even object to your first suggestion just to see
how you handle their objection and to gain a sense of control over
the conversation. But because you have a backup plan you'll pass
their little tests with flying colours. You'll also want to rehearse
explaining to her the directions on how to get there. Women's
brains are wired different to men's and they prefer visual
directions as opposed to logical directions using street names and
distances. For instance, if you say something like the following
sentence you'll leave the average woman totally bemused.

"After you turn onto Clarke Street just keep going for about 200m
and then turn left into Jones Street and you'll see the coffee shop
about a 100m down on the left."
Women respond much better to directions using visual landmarks
as reference points. Instead try;... "After you turn onto Clarke
Street, that's the street with Mc Donald's on the corner, you keep
going down it until you see a service station on the left. Turn left
after that service station and the coffee shop is halfway down the
street on the left just after a 7/11 store."
It seems like a small detail but it's just another little trick that will
help build more connection, rather than lessen it by confusing
her. Once most women hear street names and distances in metres
they will just switch off. This way, it will seem to her like your
speaking her language.

It's an absolute must to keep a pen and paper by the phone and
write down the names of any of her friends, family members, or
pets that she might tell you about in this first call. Do not
underestimate the importance of this. When you talk to her the
next time you meet her and ask her a question regarding how
things are with a particular friend etc, you'll be using their correct
name. This helps her to build trust with you and will generate
massive levels of attraction towards you. Most guys would've
forgotten her pets name by the time they meet up with her two
days later...but not you. It will increase your connection during
your first meeting with her when you ask her questions regarding
her friends whilst also addressing them with the correct name. For
this reason, take down as many details as you can during this first
call.
This first call is going to be as short as possible. You will not allow
yourself to get stuck on the phone with her no matter how well
you are connecting with her. This is exactly how women will get
bored with you and loose interest. You don't know enough about
her to chat to her on the phone for extended periods and it will
backfire on you. Make the call short and sweet. This will also leave
her wanting more. Make sure you're the one who ends the phone
call.

You do not want to talk about the weather or your work, and you
do not want to talk to her about meaningless details like where
her brother lives. You want to talk to her about feelings and use
descriptive stories to convey emotions. Of course you're going to
get caught up in some meaningless small talk about details, but
steer the conversation away from this and attempt to build more
attraction via playful flirting.

When you do ask her to meet you for coffee, make sure you tell
her where and when you want to take her so she can respond with
a direct answer. Otherwise she might respond with "...so where
exactly did you want to take me...and what time...?" When she
responds with this, it forces you to explain yourself more before
she gives you an answer and it ruins the conversational dynamics.
(live her all the information she needs within the question and
your likely to get a direct answer. If you don't...it seems like you
have to come up with more reasons and details in order for her to
say yes to you, and this lowers your value.

You don't want to be on the phone with her for any more than
seven minutes and you want to ask her out for coffee at about the
five minute mark. After she says yes make sure you chat to her for
at least another two minutes before you hang up. Now try the
following to ensure the conversation flows smoothly.

Ask her how her day has been

Ask her if she is doing anything exciting tonight
Ask her how the rest of her day/night was after you got her
number

Ask her out for a coffee

Ask her about her favourite hobby or what she has been doing for
fun lately.

Now for all of the above conversation points make sure you have
an answer to all of your own questions. This can be a mistake that
the average guy makes. He asks her really cool easy going
questions and when she answers him and then asks the same
questions back, he just freezes up and says, "...oh... my day was
good too thanks..."

Prepare an interesting answer to all of your own questions and

rehearse your answers too. You only have to rehearse your
answers for so long before you get them perfected with a bit of
humour and seduction thrown in. You can then use the format for
all women you ring for the first time.

This will work on all girls so you've got no excuse to take a bit of
time and come up with some interesting answers. As for actually
asking her out you can try something like; "...the reason I've called
you is to ask you out for a coffee this Thursday evening at a nice
little chocolate cafe in the city....would you be interested in
that...?"

If she say’s 'yes', then ask her something like, "is seven o'clock on
Thursday evening good for you". If she says yes then you can just
say something like, "Ok that's great,...I'll text you the address of
the cafe on Thursday afternoon and we'll go from there and by the
way,...I forgot to ask you,...what exactly is it you do for fun...etc..."
Asking her another question at the end of the invite tends to take
away some of the awkwardness and tension from the
conversation.

If she's undecided and begins to moan and groan about it you can
just gently coax her into it with something like "Hey it's just coffee,
I'm not going to ask you to marry me....it’ll be fun, I promise". Or
you could try, "...I know your acting...and you know you want to
go...it'll be fun"....Or...."Come on...you sound like your scared to
have a little bit of fun,...give it a go". These gentle pushes are
sometimes all a women needs to agree to go on a coffee date with
you. So do them very light heartedly and playfully, and it can work
wonders in your favour.
If she says "No" it just means you've got to remain patient and
gently continue with your seduction techniques. If you can
continue to flirt with her on the phone and behave as if nothing
has happened then this will greatly increase your chances the
next time you ask her. You can also play her "no" down with
something like, "...I know...you probably think I'm too much fun
for you...that's ok...not all women can handle me", then
immediately divert the conversation back onto a lighter topic. This
simply taunts her with reverse psychology and also shows her that
when she says 'no' to you it doesn't really bother you. Not many
guys are capable of remaining this detached to their outcome.

She might even change her mind just to prove you wrong and
prove to herself that she can handle you. Either way, it's better
than just accepting her 'no' as if it is final and unchangeable.
Don't get hung up on her no', because if you continue the phone
call as if nothing happened and continue to keep the conversation
light hearted and flirtatious, then you can ask her again whilst
she's
laughing with something like, "...see your having fun now. this
would be even more entertaining in person while we're sharing a
coffee...I'm beginning to think you're just too shy..." She may at
this moment just surrender to the invite and say. "well ok then"
The important thing is to not give up and don't take her rejections
personally. This will only make you more attractive in her eves.
If her 'no' is very firm and cold and your intuition tells you you've
got no chance at all, you can just reply with, "hey, there was no
harm in asking, I just thought you'd be open to the idea of us
getting to know each other a bit better..." Then change the subject
and get off the phone. There is no reason why you need to waste
time with women who are rude and cold.
It's best to go into this first phone call with the mindset that you
are giving something to her, and you don't want to get something
from her. This is the truth in reality, as you only want to show her
a good time and allow her to experience good feelings. When you
call her with this mindset it helps reduce any nervousness
because what's there to be nervous of if you're just ringing a girl
up to offer her a good time... you have nothing to lose...
If this sounds like a lot to take in than consider the alternative of
just blindly calling her up without these guide lines and think
about how things might turn out for you. If you follow these guide
lines throughout the first call you will increase your chances of her
being more receptive and accepting your invitations…
You need to strengthen your connection with her on this coffee
date so she is compelled to see you again. We're going to run
through a connection strengthening checklist to ensure you don't
miss easy opportunities to achieve this outcome. It helps if we
start at the very top of her head and work down so you can easily
remember all the little tricks that help to build connection. Let's
start with everything to do with her eyes.
During the half hour you spend with her you must ensure that
you gaze into her eyes for more than three seconds on two
occasions. Upon breaking this gaze ensure that you do not look
down, rather just move your eyes to something that is beside her
at the same height as her eyes and then look back in to her eyes
again briefly. Looking down to break an eye gaze denotes shame,
fear and embarrassment. Don't do it. As you're looking into her
eyes think about how much she already loves you as to help you
sustain the correct kind of eye contact. You won't have a problem
maintaining eye contact with her if you focus your thoughts on
how much she loves you and is dying to kiss you.

At some stage during the date you also need to look at her body
deliberately whist she is watching your eyes. Women need to know
that you find them attractive. The problem occurs when guys do
this the wrong way. Your allowed to look, you've just got to do it
right. In fact if you don't look, she'll start to get worried.
Occasionally when natural eye contact occurs between you, allow
your gaze to drift down her neckline and onto her shoulders or
upper arms. This gaze should not exceed two
seconds in length. After you have gazed at her body, ensure you
look straight back into her eyes again briefly. This shows her that
you're not fearful or ashamed to look at her. This says to her, "I've
noticed that you have quiet an attractive body and it's a pleasure
to look at. I'm not ashamed to look at your body as I know you
don't mind me admiring you the right way"
This doesn't give you permission to stare at her breasts but if you
accidently find yourself doing this just return your gaze to her eyes
whilst thinking about how much effort she has put in to look good
for you. Most guys look at a woman's body and then look away
from her avoiding eye contact. This says to her, "1 just looked at
your body and I'm ashamed of myself and I don't have the courage
to look you in the eye again after doing it." Just think about how
she's been working out to get herself in shape just for you. This
will give you the correct mindset to look at her body appropriately.
And then of course you'll return your gaze into her eyes again
before looking away from her.
There's also a little trick you can do if you catch her staring at you.
Just give her a smile and wink at her. This builds connection. If
you're in a cheeky mood you can even add a comment like, "...I
don't mind if you stare at me...I've done it to you...", or something
like that.

SCENT OF A WOMAN

Now we come down to her nose which is our reminder to ask

about and comment on her perfume. She has probably worn her
favourite one. This is a date for her too, even if it is just coffee. To
increase your connection with her you might want to simply ask
her something like, "are you wearing perfume....?... (Yes)...I
thought so...it smells great... (Thank you)" ...or... "...that's certainly
a lovely perfume you're wearing..."

If you're really on fire you might gesture to her to lean towards you
so you can smell it properly After you smell it again while she is
close to you can say something like, "hmmm, very... (Nice,
alluring, appealing, tempting, or enticing)", depending on what
mood you're in. Then just
ask her if that's her favourite perfume. It doesn't really matter
what she says in response to this question, it just sets up the tone
for you to talk to her seductively about perfume.

If she says 'yes', you can even playfully accuse her of trying to
seduce you by wearing her most enticing and alluring perfume to
the first coffee date. Then you might playfully hint that it might be
working whilst giving her a slow wink. If she says 'no', you can
playfully accuse her of saving her favourite one for the next date
she goes on with you so she can really work her magic on you
then...just as you were beginning to think that she was a nice
girl...

After any playful cocky and funny banter with her or any push
and pull flirtation, change gears and show her your serious side.
This can be a powerful seduction technique. It doesn't allow her to
put you in a category and keeps her intrigued. Don't spend the
whole coffee date trying to be funny or trying to be seriously
seductive, make sure you mix it up.
After playing around with her perfume answers change gears.
Using the most seductive word combinations you can think of you
can simply talk about the arousing aromas of some perfumes and
how what turns some people on, might also turn some people off.
Then use that as a cue to ask her something like, "so what exactly
is it about a particular kind of man that you find yourself attracted
to?"
Then take in all the clues she gives you about what she finds
attractive in guys as you can use them later with her. Some
women get shy when you ask them questions like this and they'll
respond with "Umm...I don't know, I've never really thought about
it. What is it with certain women that cause you to be attracted to
them?"

This is another perfect cue for you to start describing all the
sensual qualities of your perfect woman to her whilst ensuring
that she possesses most of the qualities you're talking about. After
she takes in what you've said, change gears again.

Playfully accuse her of knowing all your secrets now and her
plotting to use them for her own benefit so she can have her way
with you. Then get serious again and say. "I'm not saying that it
would be a

bad thing" The opportunities are endless and they all grew out of
asking her about her perfume.

SWEET NOTHINGS

The next things after her nose are her ears. Throughout this coffee
date you must try to whisper in her ear at least once. This is
helping her get used to the idea of your face being close to her face
as whispering is an intimate thing to do. One way to do this is to
locate another guy in the area who you can both see and look over
in his direction with a very slight bemused look on your face. Then
gesture to for her to lean over to you like you want to whisper
something to her.

Get as close to her ear as you can and whisper. "Looks like there's
another person here who also thinks you look beautiful this
evening" With this technique you are basically whispering into her
ear that she looks beautiful. This is powerful stuff when it is done
right. It is not a direct compliment and makes her think.
Another way to do this is to be in mid conversation with her and
say to her. "I've actually got a secret that I've been dying to tell
someone, would you like to her it...?.{yes)... You need her to bring
her ear close, so just say, "It's a secret...so come closer, because
I'm only going to whisper it" Then simply whisper into her ear a
compliment regarding her most beautiful feature. Maybe
something like' "...Your hair looks absolutely gorgeous today..."
And then lean back as if nothing happened and say to her. "But
don't tell anybody I told you that...it's a secret remember..."

If you haven't got the courage to do one of the above to her than
your only other option is to whisper something into her ear about
someone or something else. But make sure you're not complaining
about something or making fun of the gay waiter. Her brother
might be gay. Just make an observation about something and find
a reason to whisper about it.
SMOOTH TALKER

Now we've passed her ears and it's onto her mouth. It's to remind
you that at the end of the coffee date you should know what her
favourite foods are and what things she likes to do fun. But do not
barrage her with questions and turn this into an interview. Your
conversation should consist of (30%) playful humorous light
hearted flirting, (30%) seductive descriptions and romantic topics,
(30%) neutral small talk whilst finding out about her likes and
dislikes...and (10%) silence. If you can get this ratio right, it will be
easy for her to feel enough of a connection with you to go on a
second date with you.

For now, let's look at one example which contains all three aspects
of the recommended conversation ratios.

For example you might ask her, "So obviously you work out...and
that's an observation...not a compliment you can take this as a
compliment if you want... but seriously, what's your favourite way
to work out...?"
In the above example there is small talk entwined with playful
flirtatious backhanded compliments while you are asking her a
genuine question. (Push and Pull)
You can then use her answers to move into your seductive
descriptions about the subject at hand as she will often
reciprocate a question back to you on the same subject. It doesn't
matter what she replies with because you can just steer the
conversation into your seductive description. In the worst case
scenario, she might reply with, "I don't work out at all..." and then
simply not say anything after that.

You could just reply to that with, "Oh so it's all genetics hey...only-
very few are that lucky...I wish I had it that easy...but sometimes
working out can be fun...especially if you do it somewhere
different..." She then might say something like 'what do you
mean?', or 'yeah...that's true'

Then you just lead into your seductive and romantic descriptions
with something like, "My favourite has got to be running on a
secluded beach...You don't get to do it often, but it's always special
when you
do...It's great to run just on the water's edge because the sand is
wet and it makes it harder...so it's much easier to run on. It's too
hard to run on the soft sand so I always run right next the
water...And there's nothing like the smell of the beach... Have you
ever been to a tropical island for a holiday...?"
As we've discussed before, whilst you're describing your exercise
routine on the beach with a very subtle seductive tone and
emphasis on the words in italic, it allows her to get swept up in
the description and experience the feelings you're describing. The
words like 'special, wet, harder, easier and nothing like it" go
straight through to her subconscious because the sentence itself
is slightly confusing, although it does make perfect sense. You're
also bringing her back from her experience by simply asking her if
she has ever been to a tropical island.

Upon receiving her answer from that question you could simply
lead into some talk about how romantic tropical islands are. Your
options are endless but be careful you maintain the correct ratio
regarding the differing aspects of your conversation. Don't overdo
it. You'd only want to take her through two seductive descriptions
like the example above in the half hour you are with her.

Another little crazy trick to help you build connection with her is
the 'something near your lip trick'. Wait until she has a sip of her
cappuccino or a piece of cake and then look at her as if you're
slightly taken back and say "you have something just above your
lip" Now be careful here because this can make her self-conscious
and it won't be conducive to her being in a relaxed open mood.
But if you do it right it can work in your favour. Ensure that you
come across as totally relaxed when you say this and make sure
you have a relaxed posture.

After you point just slightly above your own lip to show her where
this tiny piece of chocolate is, allow her to try to wipe it off once.
When she fails to remove it, just look at her lovingly and say 'do
you mind', as you begin to slowly reach your hand up to it. Then
take your time and whilst using your thumb, just ever so gently
wipe the corner of her top lip. Then just say to her, ‘all gone’ or
‘that's better’, or ‘perfect again’, and continue the conversation as if
nothing happened by maybe saving something along the lines of,
"...anyway, as I was saying..."
It's best to do this while you are in mid conversation rather than
her. If it's the other way around you're interrupting her half way
through what she is saying and women love to know that you're
listening to them, so interrupt your own conversation.

What this does is it allows you to share a tiny little caring intimate
moment. Don't underestimate the power of this crazy little trick.
After you've gently caressed her top lip to remove this tiny
imaginary imperfection you can say something to her like, "...you
looked kind of cute with it there...and I wasn't going to tell you..."

If she profusely tries to wipe it off herself and you know she's not
going to let you touch her, you can simply turn it around into a
compliment by saying, "It's fine now, and it's gone...it was easy to
notice a little imperfection on a perfect landscape....anyway....as I
was saying...", and continue on with your conversation.
So now we have used all the features of her face to remind us of
the things we can do to increase our connection with her and
build more attraction, let's move onto her body.

I CAN USE SOMEBODY

Throughout this coffee date you must try to touch her at least
twice in a way that cannot be mistaken as a casual social touch.
You should also touch her in a casual manner twice too. The
casual manner is easy as you can just place your hand on her
lower back to casually guide her to her seat Or on the way out you
could casually touch her by guiding her through the doorway.

You can also touch her casually a few times throughout your
conversation by just touching her hand for a moment as you
share a laugh or agree on something. Also use any opportunity
you may come across to pass her something or ask her to pass
you something, but of course do not make this obvious. As you
take something from her, like a spoon etc, ensure that you
casually touch her hand as you do so. Likewise if you pass her
something, ensure she cannot take it off you without
having to touch you first. Of course you will not make this obvious
or force the issue, but if the opportunity arises make sure you
utilise it. This casual touching is just getting her used to touching
you.

It's the non social touch that you've got to get right. This lets her
know that you're comfortable displaying your affection via
touching and also reassures her that you are definitely interested
in her romantically. You can be the smoothest talker in the world
but you're going to have to touch her at some stage as well.

Some guys have no trouble with this and others have great
difficulty. Try these methods to get you started. Notice something
she is wearing on her hand or wrist such as a bracelet or a ring.
Curiously ask her to show it to you. As she brings her hand
forward to show you gently take her hand with your hand while
you look at the item in question.

Compliment it, and ask her if there is a story behind it. For
example, take a sip of your coffee and as your putting it down say
something like, "...that's the second time it's caught my eye...show
me your bracelet... (hold her hand gently for about four
seconds)...hmm it’s nice, it suits you..." and very slowly let her
hand go and perhaps ask her if it was a gift from someone.
Listen to her little story about it and talk to her very briefly about
it and then curiously notice her other hand and say, "...show me
your other hand for a second... (Hold her hand gently for about
four seconds)...hmm, this hand feels just as nice as your other
one..." Then slowly let go of her hand and smile at her with a
cheeky grin.

You can also use similar tactics to look at her necklace or her
earrings but these are more intimate areas and it's up to you to
judge whether she will be receptive to this. As you hold her
necklace you can gently let the back of your hand touch her chest
or as you look at her earrings you can gently brush her hair
behind her ear in the guise of getting a better view of her earrings.

You can tweak these slightly or change them totally but the main
purpose it to get you touching her in a manner that is beyond
casual. You must try to achieve at least two non casual touches in
the half hour you spend with her.
 CHAPTER FOUR

If you leave me now…

GOODBYE MY LOVER

There are going to be times when the woman is enjoying herself so

much that she is going to try to get you to stay for longer. Try not
to fall into this trap as it will usually not work in your favour.
Although she seems to be enjoying herself, the time you've spent
together is usually still too short for anything else to happen but
more of the same.

Its much better to pull the pin and leave the coffee date nice and
short no matter how good things are progressing. In fact the better
things are going; the better it is to keep it short. You may have the
coffee date mastered but it will rarely work in your favour to stay
any longer than 40 minutes.

In some rare cases you'll intuitively know its fine to stay longer
because you can sense that something is going to happen, but be
forewarned that usually it does not. It's a shame to get the whole
coffee date right and then blow your chances with her only
because you stayed to long and the environment you were in
wasn't conducive to any further progress with her.
When you build a strong connection with her and you don't start
to take things to the next level, that's when she becomes bored
and annoyed. This is what happens when you hang around too
long on the coffee date. You can't take things to the next level. Get
out of there and let your mastery of the second date close the deal
for you.
THE SMOOTH CRIMINAL

If you achieve a degree of mastery regarding the techniques and

principles in this book you're going to be so smooth with the ladies
that it's going to be criminal. Now that you've committed the
perfect 40 minute crime it's time for the smooth getaway. This
entails ending the coffee date and leaving the cafe without the
usual boring and sometimes awkward bill paying formalities.

There is a simple and very effective way to do this. When your

intuition tells you that it's time to end the date simply excuse
yourself by saying. "...I just have to go to the men's...excuse me for
a minute..." now whether you have to go or not you're still going to
go to the men's room. Whilst in there you might as well take
advantage of it to make sure you look your best. Now remove the
$15 or $20 note from your pocket and hold it in your hand. As
your leaving the men's room walk past the cashier or waitress and
give them the money whilst saying." ...that's for my lady and I on
the table over there as we'll be leaving very shortly...you can keep
the change and I don't require a receipt...thanks for the coffee's we
both enjoyed them..."
Now when you get back to the table you know everything is taken
care of and there are going to be no awkward interruptions by the
waiter asking you to pay the bill. Be the one who says that it's time
to say goodbye for now. Ask her if she'd like you to walk her to her
car. Besides the fact that it is gentlemanly to offer, there is always
an opportunity for you to kiss her in a more private surrounding
than there was in the coffee shop.

Now she will probably ask you about the bill and if or when she
does you can just say to her, "...don't worry... it's taken care of..."
When you utilise this technique it shows her that you are capable
of taking care of the details effortlessly.

On the way to her car or before you part ways tell her that you
enjoyed yourself and that you'd like to see her again. (Only if you
did of course) Ask her if she is interested in seeing you again. You
can try something like, "Hey I know it was only short, but I really
enjoyed your
company and I'd love to meet up with you again... (Sounds good)...
ok that's great. I’ll give you a call and hopefully you'll keep
Saturday evening free for me." And on that note, part ways.
If she says that she's not sure about seeing you again or doesn't
want to, don't make a big deal about it. The less fuss you make
about the fact, the more attractive you'll remain in her eyes. If
anything she will only think to herself, hmm I wonder why he
wasn't fussed when I said that I didn't want to see him
again...maybe 1 should give him another chance. If you go on
about the fact that she said that she doesn't to see you again you'll
only come across as a complainer and supplicatory. If you don't do
that your luck might change in a couple of days when she's has
had some time to reflect upon the date. If you complain it will only
strengthen her mental position.

THE CORRECT APOLOGY

Throughout the coffee date there is the possibility that you might
make a mistake or offend a woman. She'll be sure to let you know
by either voicing her opinion or suddenly changing her attitude
towards you. If this happens to you there is a correct way to
apologize to women that is very effective.
We'll coin it the "talk back apology". The first step is to ask her
what is bothering her if she hasn't already told you and actually
listen to what she is saying to you without interrupting her. Then
repeat back to her word for word if possible what she has said to
you. This shows her that you have listened to her and that you've
understood her. In doing this your battle is already half won. Then
apologize to her for what she thinks you have done and promise to
never do it again. Then you should thank her for sharing her
feelings with you and let her know that you understand how she
could become upset over such a thing.

When you apologise to a woman using the talk back apology your
chances of her accepting the apology and changing her mood are
100% better than just saying to a girl, "...Oh I'm sorry...! didn't
mean to offend
you..." That's a primitive apology and will get you nowhere fast.
Although this kind of apology doesn't come naturally for a man.
this is what works with women. Let's go through a typical
example.

Her, "...What a stupid thing to say...l can't believe you said that..."
You, "...What part about what I said has offended you Susan...?"
Her, "...The part where you made fun of the way I pronounced that
company's name...that's what..."
You, "...So you're offended because I made fun of the way you
pronounces that company's name...?"

Her, "...Yes...!"
You, "...Well actually...I can understand how you'd be offended
about that because I never really actually took the time to think
about it that way and for doing that...I apologize, and I'm sorry
Thanks for actually taking the time to explain that to me and for
doing so I promise that I'll never make fun of the way you might
mispronounce something ever again deal...?"

Her, "...Well ok then...I didn't mean to get so upset it's just

that...etc...etc..."

That's a typical example of a talk back apology and you can just
imagine how much more effective that is than saying something
like. "...Ok I'm sorry...I didn't mean it like that..." Ensure you
practice a couple of talk back apologies to yourself, so if the
situation ever arises you'll have it easily covered...and trust me,
the situation will arise...

THE NEXT PHONE CALL

So you're feeling confident that the coffee date was a success and
you're ready to ask her out on a date. All the same rules apply to
this phone call as they did to the initial call when you asked her
out for coffee. Keep the call short and have a goal in mind. If
you've payed attention throughout the coffee date you should
know all the things that she enjoys doing so
you'll have no trouble designing a date that will last for six or
seven hours. Be sure to tell what style of clothing to wear because
you don't want to take her to a fun park while she's wearing high
heels and a cocktail dress. And as usual, if she doesn't answer
and it goes to voice mail you're going to leave her one of your short
perfectly rehearsed messages.

REFLECTIONS

Now that you've taken the time to learn about what does and
doesn't work on the coffee date, take the time to practice the
techniques and memorise them. Give yourself the best chance of
success. Once you commit them to memory they become second
nature and then they become very easy to execute. And when they
become totally natural that's when you'll witness their true power.

It doesn't matter how long you've known her or how strong or

weak your connection was with her before this date, you're going
to have to start from scratch when you take her out for coffee for
the first time. Four nights ago you might have shared an alcohol
fuelled night with her passionately kissing. That night is long
gone.

When it comes to the first coffee date you can't rely on the
connection you had with her four nights ago to carry you through.
Of course it will help a little but generally speaking you'll find that
you have to start from scratch again when you take her out on a
coffee date.

Congratulations my friend for taking the time to learn about social

dynamic skill sets that elude most men. When you incorporate all
the techniques you've learned here and use them on the coffee
date, you'll be miles and miles ahead of the average guy...