The Woman's Around The House Guide To Masturbation (PDFDrive)

THE WOMAN'S AROUND-THE-HOUSE GUIDE
TO MASTURBATION
By
TINA HESS
A Renaissance E Books publication
ISBN 1-58873-316-5
All rights reserved
Copyright © 2004 Tina Hess
This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission.
For information contact:
Publisher@renebooks.com
A Sizzler Edition
Tina Hess Woman's Around-the-House Guide 1
CONTENTS
Introduction
Why Not Use Traditional Sex Toys Instead?
Testimonials
Getting Started
SECTION 1: Straight from the Grocery List
Cucumbers
Squash
Bananas
Polish Sausages
Popsicles
Ice and Candles
SECTION 2: Kitchen Gadgets and Appliances
Wooden Spoons
Turkey Basters
Baby Bottle Brushes
Countertops
Knife Handles
SECTION 3: Bathroom Accessories
Electric Toothbrushes
Water Sprays
Massagers
Empty Bottles
Bathtubs
Electric Shavers
SECTION 4: Around the House
Living Room Furniture
Table Legs
Wash Cloths
Vacuums and Other Carpet Cleaners
Pillows
Towels
The Washing Machine
Brushes
SECTION 5: The Happy Handy-woman

Flashlights
Quick Fix Tools
Riding Mowers
Ropes
SECTION 6: Putting It into Practice
Vegetable Lover
The Fun in Doing Dishes
The Sweetest Revenge
Dirty Movie
By the Light
APPENDICES
Sex Toy Substitutions
Online Resources
About the Author
DISCLAIMER
The author does not claim to be a doctor, therapist, or an expert in
regards to the subject matter of this book. These tips are meant for
pleasure and enjoyment, but are not to replace medical advice or
assistance. Neither the author, publisher, or any persons in any way
associated with this book guarantees the safety, methods, or
effectiveness discussed in the following pages. The things discussed
in this book are mere suggestions and to be used at the option and risk
of the reader.
INTRODUCTION
This book was originally written as a comical outlook on the way
household gadgets, groceries, and appliances could be used as sex
toys. Often times, female friends would joke about a cucumber or
make a comment about a shower massager. It was always followed by
a giggle, of course, and never taken seriously. The traditional sex toys
(if there is such a thing as traditional sex toys) like vibrators were still
the ones we resorted to in the privacy of our own rooms and the toys
we would admit to using without embarrassment. Who wants to
confess they spend one-on-one time with a banana?
However, as I started to write the book and talked to women more
seriously about it, a few things became clear. Some women openly
use "everyday objects" to pleasure themselves. They are always open
to new ideas and would love an alternative to vibrators, dildos, or
other toys. Others, that have never discovered the joy of a bathroom
counter, have considered the idea but don't have a clue where to begin.
Then, there are some ladies that won't talk about it at all. Sexuality is
not something every woman is comfortable talking about. They are
too embarrassed to buy a vibrator, much less to ask what items around
the house might help them orgasm. These three types of women that I
met convinced me that this book needed to be written in a more
serious light. And, not only did it need to include items to be used as
toys, but information and places to go to learn more about their
sexuality and masturbation.
I am by no means a doctor or therapist. The suggestions in this
book are to be taken at your own risk, using caution and safety. The
"ways" covered in the following chapters have not all been tried and
tested by yours truly. They are compiled from research and
testimonials from other women.
I do not guarantee every suggestion to work for every woman, but
I'm sure that every woman can find more than a few new ways to
pleasure herself in the upcoming pages. For your benefit and
enjoyment, each section contains mood enhancers as well - a bit of
erotic fiction using one of the toy suggestions – to help set the mood
or inspire an idea.
So, please, as you read this book, keep your mind open to new and
erotic ideas. Maybe they will give rise to a few of your own. If you
giggle or chuckle a few times, that's okay too.
From Cucumbers (#1) to Flashlights (#26), The Women's Around-
the-house Guide to Masturbation will definitely give you ideas to use
as alternatives to the standard dildos and other toys. Following these
alternatives, there are links and resources for more on masturbation as
well as arousal tools such as free websites for women. Yes, ladies, I
mean you'll learn where to find eye candy online. Everything you
need is here to begin to enjoy yourself without ever having to buy
another toy or glossy magazine.
Long gone are the days when ladies have to hide their sexual
desires or only let them rise to the surface in the arms of a mate. We
are free to say what we need and, with that, we are also able to take
our own sexual urges and/or fantasies into our own hands. It doesn't
have to be found in some toy we stash away either. Pleasure is as
close as the bathroom, waiting for us in the fridge, or even outside in
the garage.
This book is dedicated to the woman, her pleasure, and the many
ways in which she can get it. I hope you enjoy reading it.
WHY NOT USE TRADITIONAL SEX TOYS

INSTEAD?
The question kept coming up while this book was being created:
"Why use objects around the house to masturbate rather than the
vibrator, dildo, or other 'traditional' sex toy?" It seems much easier to
buy the 'traditional products. You know the purpose, how to use it, the
desired effect, and when you need it, it's nearby in the bedroom. It
takes thinking, planning, and taking safety into consideration to use an
object that's meant for other purposes. So why use them? Why even
bother?
The first reason is excitement. When a woman wears a short skirt
out in public, chooses not to wear panties, or decides to go braless for
the afternoon, she does it to feel sexy and desirable. It makes her feel
naughty too. No matter how much class a woman has or how moral
she is in the eyes of the people around her, every female out there
needs to feel 'bad' sometimes. It just so happens that, most of the time,
ladies only let that playful, sexy side appear in the arms of their mate.
When she masturbates, it's for release and nothing more. But what's
wrong with feeling naughty when she's alone? She masturbates using
a cucumber that was meant for the family dinner, she sees it as
something besides produce, gives it another purpose, and for a while
after she wears a grin on her face knowing how 'bad' she was. Not
only did she achieve the orgasm (her primary reason for
masturbation), she also shared another intimacy with herself: she was
naughty. It's a sense of freedom, perhaps liberation, but definitely
something that will make her face glow a little brighter.
Of course, there are other reasons as well. There are countless
women that, for one reason or another, do not want their significant
other to know they masturbate. There was shame associated with
female masturbation for years. Not only was it thought to be
unhealthy, it was also thought that a woman who masturbated was
cheap. Even though the world has gradually shed that mind set, some
ladies were still programmed from the time they were teenagers that
pleasing oneself is dirty, sick, and stereotyped as something only
whores did. For a woman like that, being able to learn how to use
objects that she has in her home provides her a way to enjoy
stimulation equal to or greater that 'traditional' toys would bring, but
without the humiliation or embarrassment she may suffer if someone
ever found out she owned a vibrator or something like that.
Another common reason is accessibility. How many times has a
woman been turned on and wanted to use something to masturbate but
didn't have her toys around to help her? In the middle of a movie,
taking a bath, or even in a hotel room are all situations where just
maybe another tool or another idea would be ideal for her.
In times like these, there's also budget. Being able to use household
items gives her a variety of options. Perhaps a woman with a family
can't afford to buy different toys, but if she looks around her house,
she can find things she already owns.
There are countless reasons why using everyday objects around the
house can and should be used rather than sex toys. This book is not
meant to discourage any woman from using her vibrator or even
buying one. However, it's meant to give her alternatives for whatever
reason she may want to use them.
A woman's relationship with her own body is sacred. Knowing herself
and how to please her body is an important part of her self-esteem as
well as her intimate pleasures. If items she finds around her home help
establish that loving relationship with her body, then that's really the
only reason that she needs.
TESTIMONIALS
"I'm a young college student who is just now becoming sexually
active and beginning to masturbate. Using just my fingers wasn't
enough to give me my first orgasm. However, on my budget, I can
hardly afford to go buy a vibrator. I was glad when I was asked to
read this book and give my opinions on it because it gave me other
options. With the tips I found, I discovered other items I could use
that I already had in my apartment. Orgasming for the first time is a
scary thing for me and it helps to have a person or a book like this to
make it a little easier by showing 'other' ways that I can use."
–Tamyra O.
***
"I have my fair share of toys and also have used some other things
before to masturbate, some of which are in this book. However, I
found more ideas and will definitely try them out soon."
–Kimberly L.
***
"When I was asked what I thought of this book and asked to write
those thoughts down, I cringed. I would never admit to playing with
myself and would never be caught with a toy of any kind so I don't
even own them. That's why I was so glad to be able to secretly read
this book and to find out I didn't have to go through embarrassment
and buy a vibrator or fear getting caught owning one. Everything I
might need is in my home."
–Anonymous
***
"I giggled throughout most of this book. In fact, I told some
girlfriends about it and it was a joke we talked about. Some of the
things suggested in this book are things I'm going to try, however. No
matter how much it seems humorous, this book is full of ideas that
every woman should consider. Giggling is fun, but the ideas I read
about could be too."
–Dawna
GETTING STARTED
Before you try any of the methods described on the following
pages, there are some items you will need and some preparations you
will need to take. The things listed below, along with the suggestions,
are just a place for you to start.
ITEMS:
* Buy a supply of condoms. You can either purchase the traditional
condoms for men or the newer female condoms. Some objects listed
in this book will need to be covered before you insert them inside
your vagina.
* Lubricating creams or jellies.
Things to do:
* Make sure anything that you use is washed thoroughly with soap
and water beforehand. Never insert anything that hasn't been cleaned.
Even if it's lying in a drawer and hasn't been touched in months, wash
it again anyway.
* Check the items that you are going to use for defects.
* Use common sense. Don't use an electric massager in the bathtub
or do anything that could result in serious injury.
* Make sure you won't be interrupted. This isn't the most important
precaution, but certainly one you want to take care of.
SECTION 1: Straight From the Grocery List

* Cucumbers
* Squash
* Bananas
* Polish Sausages
* Popsicles
* Ice and Candles
CUCUMBERS
The cucumber is a must-have in any garden. During the winter, it's
the one vegetable that pays you back for placing it in the grocery cart.
A lot of sexual jokes are made in reference to cucumbers and women,
so for some, the thought of keeping one around the house is too
embarrassing. But when tried and done properly, the laugh or the red
face is only on the ladies who don't try this long, green vegetable. If
you are too timid to buy a dildo or maybe just want to try something
new, this may be the perfect thing for you.
When you're ready to experiment with this method, try these steps
below:
* Start off by selecting the size. Pick the length and width. You
should use a long, thick one too "stretch the limits" or a smaller,
perhaps thinner one for clitoral stimulation.
* Prepare the cucumber. Make sure you wash it extremely well
before use. A ribbed condom may also be slid over the vegetable for
extra feeling.
* You can use the cucumber as a dildo during penetration or rub it
against your clit for orgasm.
TOY TIP: In the shower, get a cucumber and slide it inside you.
Take your massaging showerhead and aim it at your clit.
SQUASH AND GOURDS

Squash come in all sizes and varied shapes. You can get smaller
ones that aren't much bigger than the larger cucumbers. Then, there
are also the ones that are the size of a small human head. Of course,
these may be a little too big, but the varieties of sizes give you a lot of
choices if you choose to use them as toys.
For someone just looking for penetration, the smaller sizes can be
used in much the same way as a dildo. They aren't as long, of course,
as other produce that you might select, but the there is a unique
benefit of choosing this method. The bulbous head gives extra friction
and the feeling of being stretched is one that some women crave.
The larger squash may be used as an alternative to fisting. Some
women like that as a form of sexual play with a partner. So, with the
squash, it is perfect for situations like when a lover isn't around and
you dare to be a little kinky on your own.
Here's how:
* Hold the squash by the narrow end. (The brown part on the
narrow end, if inserted into your vagina, may scratch you. If you want
to use that part anyway, slide a condom over it. Be careful not to
thrust so hard that you tear the latex. The stemmed ends of squash
and/or gourds are by no means good ideas if you want to be rough.)
* If you're not aroused yet, make sure you lubricate yourself before
you begin. Even a smaller size squash is probably going to stretch
you. It's for your comfort and enjoyment to make sure you are ready.
* Take it slowly and enjoy the sensation of being stretched, or take
it all at once for fisting.
TOY TIP: Since squash and gourds may not be on your weekly
grocery list, buy a few plastic ones. Halloween is the perfect time to
find these plastic treats and the cost is low. Nobody will ever suspect
your secret agenda for these decorations.
BANANAS
Bananas are a lot like cucumbers when it comes to using them as
toys. They serve the same purpose: either to create clitoral stimulation
or for penetration. However, there are differences in these two items.
Take these into consideration to select which one is best for you.
Since the two seem so alike and their uses common, which is the
best to select? It’s obvious that both can be used to stimulate the
clitoris. Bananas and cucumbers can both be used for penetration as
well. What are the differences?
Take a closer look. Bananas offer a few more benefits. When using
them for penetration, you can select the hardness (green ones will be
harder) you prefer. The shape is also a factor. The curve in the banana
is excellent for g-spot stimulation. Cucumbers, although no less fun,
do not offer these extra benefits. Try both and make the choice for
yourself.
TOY TIP: As mentioned above, the shape of a banana is its
greatest asset. This fruit is one of the more popular "everyday toys".
It's a definite "must try".
POLISH SAUSAGES
There's a certain person you can't get out of your mind. You see
him. You watch him. Maybe just the sight of him makes your pulse
race or perhaps he simply sends your sexual desire into overdrive.
He's your fantasy when you masturbate, but somehow a cold, plastic
toy or any other gadget just doesn't send you over the edge.
Something that feels real, that gives the same pre-orgasmic sensations
as a man penetrating you is what you crave. That's easily enough
taken care of with a walk to the refrigerator or a short trip to the
grocery. Polish sausages are ideal for this.
Follow these suggestions using a polish sausage:
1. Let it soak in warm water long enough so it's close to the
temperature a human body may be.
2. Make sure you don't leave it in the water too long, however, and
get too soft, or you run the risk of it breaking off inside you during
masturbation. There's not a quicker way to extinguish a fantasy than
an embarrassing trip to the emergency room.
3. Once you have it slightly heated, but still relatively stiff, it can be
used like a traditional dildo.
4. Unlike a piece of plastic, though, the feel will be more similar to
that of a man. It will add a realness to the fantasy, work with your
imagination, and make the release that much stronger.
TOY TIP: Use a polish sausage rather than a hot dog, smaller
sausage, or bratwurst.
The polish sausage is usually thicker. As it warms in water, it is
going to soften as any meat would, but it's thickness gives it less
chance of breaking off inside of you than a hot dog. You can always
cover the sausage with a condom to insure this doesn't happen.
POPSICLES
The frozen food aisles at the grocery store are full of popsicles.
There a different sizes, various shapes, and exotic flavors. You can
take your pick of all the different varieties. On a hot summer day, they
are a cool relief from the heat. But these frozen delights can also be a
delightful way to turn up your body temperature as well.
Using a popsicle to masturbate is probably one of the most sensual.
It can be pleasurable to many parts of your body, as well as your
genital area. Treat the popsicle as if it were your lover. Lick and suck
its length. Savor the taste and texture, the way it drips on your chin.
Entice yourself like a lover would do for you. Foreplay doesn't have to
just apply to partners. It can be just as sensual when you're alone.
Build up your excitement slowly. Glide the popsicle over your
body. Run it across your nipples. Then guide it over your tummy and
towards your vagina. There's no hurry. Enjoy every sizzle the cold
creates on your skin. You can run your fingers through the trail it
creates and taste the sweetness of your actions.
Try these tips:
* Stimulate your clitoris if you need to.
* Use your chilled fingers or brush the popsicle against the tip.
* When you're ready, penetration into your vagina should be slow
and gradual. Do it quickly and the iciness will be a shock to your body
instead of erotic.
* Take your time and the sensations will be spine tingling.
Just the feel of your hot juices mixing with the melting popsicle
will be an erotic treat.
TOY TIP: Make sure you use only the popsicles that on a stick.
The flavored, frozen ice that comes in those plastic sleeves will cut
you.
CANDLES AND ICE

Using hot candle wax along with ice cubes can be a mind-blowing
experience when you're masturbating. This method, however, takes
more preparation than the others mentioned.
Start out by selecting candles from around the house. Votive
candles are the best because the wax pools around the wick. Place
them in the room where you will be. Then fill a bowl full of four to
six ice cubes to place beside the candles.
Using candle wax and ice isn't simply a way to masturbate. It is a
way to heat up your sexual mood and to make your body beg you for
an orgasm as well.
Recommended ways to use candles and ice:
* Tease your nipples, then move lower. The more turned-on you get
yourself beforehand, the more intense the experience will be at the
end.
* Start by dripping just a small drop or two of candle wax on your
breasts. Make sure the wax isn't too hot or it will burn.
* Trail the wax down your to your tummy. Rub your clit as you do
this, or after droplets of wax fall on your skin.
* Now, hold an ice cube above your skin and let it drip on your
heated flesh. Don't wait too long to do this. The idea is that the
warmth of the wax and the coldness of the ice will add to your
excitement.
* Insert an ice cube into your vagina.
* Let it melt as your rub your clit. The cold water mixed with your
hot juices will send you into a long awaited orgasm.
TOY TIP: Remember to experiment with just little droplets of wax
at first. Hold the candle high above your body so the wax cools before
it hits. Then, lower it until you find the temperature that's the best for
you.
SECTION 2: Kitchen Gadgets and Appliances

* Wooden Spoons
* Turkey Basters
* Baby Bottle Brushes
* Countertops
* Knife Handles
WOODEN SPOONS
Somewhere in your kitchen drawers, there are sure to be at least a
few wooden spoons. Perhaps you've shoved them away because you
prefer the non-stick spoons that are easier to wash. If you have, now's
the time to pull them out and stick them where they will always be
easy to reach.
There are all sizes of wooden spoons. Some are more expensive
and therefore a more solid wood. However, the cheaper, smaller ones
work fine as well. If you don't have one and wish to buy one, it doesn't
matter what kind you select. Of course, if you like to be spanked by a
lover or fantasize about it, you may be wiser to pick a sturdier, bigger
spoon for this.
Nobody said you had to limit it to one spoon either. This is your
adventure. Do it as you like.
Now that you have the spoon in hand, there are a few ways you can
use it as a sex toy. The first and maybe most obvious use is as a dildo.
Either end can be inserted also as long as you make sure the wood is
smooth.
Wooden spoons can also be used for clitoral stimulation. The
handles are usually slim enough to rub between your nether lips.
Because of that factor, they are one of the few household objects that
can easily be used for that and penetration. Try alternating between
the two, if you would like.
Another use that you can get out of a wooden spoon will apply to
you if you have a fetish for receiving spankings. With a longer
handled spoon, you can maneuver yourself so that the hard wood can
swat your butt. If a little sting mixed with pleasure is your turn-on,
then be sure to try giving yourself a slap a few times.
TOY TIP: Make sure the spoon doesn't have any rough edges or is
splintered at all. And, since wood absorbs juices like that from raw
meat (which contains bacteria), you may want to buy wooden spoons
just for your own private use.
TURKEY BASTERS
It's a really good thing Thanksgiving comes only once a year. That
leaves the turkey baster free for the other 364 days in the calendar. If
you don't have one, any type of baster or syringe will do (without the
needle of course).
To start, fill the baster with warm water. You don't want it hot, but
make the water warm enough that when you touch the shaft, you can
feel the heat. Ideally, make it a degree or two higher than your lover
would feel against your skin.
When that's finished, you will insert the baster into your vagina,
using it as a cock or a dildo. Slide it in and out, if you want, but make
sure not to release the water. Yet.
Now, rub your clit with your fingers. Try putting pressing one
finger on your clit and two on either side, pressing inward like a pair
of tweezers. The sensations are amazing.
Having the baster full of water is not a necessity to use this object
as a sex toy. But, if you like to fantasize while you masturbate, it will
allow you to "feel" you lover's orgasm along with yours. When you
orgasm, release the water inside you. The heat of the liquid and the
way it spurts into you will make it feel like a lover is sharing your
release.
Another way to use a turkey baster is to place it on your clit, open
side down. Squeeze the baster and release, allowing it to suck on you.
It won't take long until you climax.
TOY TIP: You can try using the open end of the baster on your
breasts. If your nipples are sensitive, it may be an extra "treat".
BABY BOTTLE BRUSHES

Baby bottlebrushes are good for more than just washing bottles or
glasses. The bristles can be exciting to use. And, the handle is also a
good substitute for a thin dildo.
To use the bristles, soak the brush in warm water. This will soften
the bristles and make them less abrasive. They can be used like a
feather by gently trailing them between your nether lips and teasing
yourself into excitement. It could also be pleasurable to press the
brushes against your clit, then, while keeping the pressure applied,
rubbing yourself with them. The bristles will barely move, giving the
sensation that hundreds of small fingers are touching you.
Penetration can be achieved two ways with the bottlebrush:
* The handle can be inserted into your vagina.
* They are usually thin and long enough for a g-spot orgasm.
* The bristle side can also be used.
* Once again, soften the bristles and either place a condom or a
thin, warm, and wet washcloth around it. Secure the washcloth to the
handle with either your hand or a rubber band. You will feel the
bristles rubbing inside you.
REMEMBER: Many objects have many uses, and the baby
bottlebrush isn't any different. Alternate the ends of the brush in your
vagina. Include clitoral stimulation using the brush also. You can also
treat it as a feather and glide it against your body and over your
breasts before masturbation.
TOY TIP: Another kind of brush you can try is brushes for hair.
(Excellent for spankings.) Those will be mentioned later in this book.
COUNTERTOPS
You're cooking dinner. If you leave the room now, everything will
burn and be ruined, but you just watched a romantic movie and you
can't help being turned on. No matter what you try to do to busy
yourself, the aching down below won't go away or ease up in the
slightest.
* Clear off a spot on the kitchen counter.
* Rub yourself up against a smoothed corner.
* Press your clit into it.
* Rest on your hands on the countertop and swing yourself back
and forth.
TOY TIP: A bathroom counter can help you orgasm too. Rub your
vagina on a corner of the counter. The cold porcelain against your hot
body should create even more desire. That's what makes the bathroom
counter more exciting than the kitchen.
KNIFE HANDLES
This is an object that everyone has in his or her kitchen: a butter
knife. As a utensil, it's not good for much more than buttering bread.
But, as an object used to masturbate, it's one of the best things in the
kitchen.
It's obvious by looking at the handle that it can be used as a dildo or
even as a way to spank yourself.
To have an intense orgasm try this:
* Insert the handle of the knife into your vagina.
* Push it inside as deeply as you want.
* Press the handle against the walls of your vagina on the pubic hair
side.
* Rub or pinch your clit. (Whichever way makes you orgasm the
best.)
* When you get close to climax, wriggle the handle of the knife
against your vagina walls.
* Try to find your g-spot. If you succeed, it will feel like you have a
large dildo or cock inside you as you orgasm.
TOY TIP: Other types of utensils you can try are:
1. Forks
2. Spoons
3. Steak knives (with a cloth covering the sharp blade)
4. Small Spatulas
5. Larger knives (again, with the sharp edge covered)
SECTION 3: Bathroom Accessories

* Electric Toothbrushes
* Water Sprays
* Massagers
* Empty Bottles
* Bathtubs
* Electric Shavers
ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSHES
Electric toothbrushes seem to be the fad these days. When dentists
come up with something new and better, we all flock to it. The only
problem is you're still left buying another one every so often in the
name of good hygiene. However, it seems a waste to just throw it
away. After all, they're more expensive than the traditional brush and
it would be nice to get more use out of it. How about another use?
Rather than pulling out a vibrator for clitoral stimulation, use your
old electric toothbrush. Nobody who goes through your medicine
cabinet will ever guess it's new purpose. The size of it, also, makes it
easy to stash in a purse or suitcase for travel.
1. Place the toothbrush – turned on – against your vulva.
2. Relax and let the vibrations stimulate you.
3. Slide the brush between your lips.
4. Rub it up and down the side of your clit, just like you would a
vibrator.
5. Touch it to the tip, rotate it in circular motions, or whichever way
makes you orgasm the easiest.
Unlike a vibrator, the hum from the toothbrush is gentle. It won't
make you numb or sore after a while.
The uses for your old electric toothbrush are endless. The pleasures
it can give are too. Just like any other method of masturbation,
though, take your time and discover what works best for you.
TOY TIP: Soften the bristles in warm water first before you touch
them to your sensitive skin.
WATER SPRAYS
The nightly bath can consist of more than sweet smelling bubbles
and soft music. A soak in the hot tub while you're all alone can be the
sexiest experience you've ever had. Anything that puts out a constant
stream of water is an excellent object for a woman.
Shower massagers that are detachable and hooked to the head by a
hose are wonderful. While you're laying in the bath, turn it on. Spread
your legs. You can even hang one leg over the side of the bathtub to
make it easier.
Set the spray to pulsate and aim it between your nether lips. The
rhythmic slaps on your clit will build your desire. You can either keep
it pulsating or change to a different spray. Lay back and relax. It won't
be long until the water sends you over the edge into an amazing
orgasm.
In a hot tub, snuggle up to a jet spray. Prop your arms on the side of
the tub behind you. Spread you legs and let the spray pulse against
your clit. You will climax quickly with the combination of light
pressure and the warmth of the water.
Another idea:
* Before your bath, try climbing into an empty bathtub.
* Turn on the water to a lukewarm temperature and spread your
legs wide.
* Let the stream of water hit your clit. Do this by propping yourself
up on your elbows, placing your hands underneath your butt. This
applies more pressure.
* As you get hotter, turn the water temperature up. Keeping
increasing the heat until you climax.
TOY TIP: Don't allow the water to get too hot before you start to
masturbate. The key to these methods is the increasing temperature of
the water. If you start out with hot water, you may run out. This will
numb your clitoris and prevent climax.
MASSAGERS
After a long, stressful day, you need a good massage. If nobody is
around to give you one, there's no doubt that you've purchased some
sort of gadget to help relax those aching muscles. Did you know that
they also make great sex toys?
Below are some of the various types of massagers and the usage
you can get out of them.
Body Massager: These are fairly large, but some models can be
positioned between the legs, and pressed against the clit. Press your
thighs together to add more pressure.
Personal Massager: These are handheld. Most have different
settings. Choose kneading or tapping as you press it against your clit.
Percussion Action Massager: Just as it sounds, and can fit in your
purse for emergencies.
Heated Stones: Doesn't provide the vibrations, but try rubbing
massage oil on your clit, then rubbing a heated stone against it.
There are also:
* Massaging bath pillows
* Shiatsu massagers
* Massaging pads
There are hundreds of other types that you can choose from.
Almost all massagers are used for clitoral stimulation. However, if
you have sensitive breasts, you can also use them as a method of
foreplay.
Don't be afraid to experiment. This is for your pleasure.
TOY TIP: Don't allow the water to get too hot before you start to
masturbate. The key to these methods is the increasing temperature of
the water. If you start out with hot water, you may run out. This will
numb your clitoris and prevent climax.
EMPTY BOTTLES
Don't throw away those empty shampoo and conditioner bottles!
Save one or two. Keep them where nobody could toss them in the
trash. Your next long, hot soak in the tub will make you glad you did.
Plastic bottles can be used in several ways. Firstly, lie back in the
tub and spread your legs. Make sure there's not too much water. You
want your vagina to be exposed. If it's covered in water, the effect will
not be as great.
Squeeze the bottle to let all of the air out of it. Press it to your clit;
making sure the opening is against you. Slowly, let the air fill the
bottle again. This will achieve a sucking and tugging motion on your
clitoris. Repeat this step as often as necessary until you climax. Take
it slow or a little faster. Half of the enjoyment is the sensations it will
bring.
You can also use the bottom of the bottle as a dildo. Slide it inside
your vagina. Stroke your inner walls while your fingers stimulate your
clit.
If you're in the shower or have a wand, try this:
* Insert the bottle into your vagina. Contract your muscles to hold it
in place if you are standing up.
* Turn on the shower or wand massager.
* Aim the stream at your clit.
* Once again, let the spray bring you to orgasm.
* Either stroke yourself with the bottle, or contract and relax the
muscles in your vagina to increase the intensity of your climax.
TOY TIP: Try different shaped bottles and different sizes each
time you use this method. You can even broaden your adventures to
the kitchen and try dishwashing soap bottles. You don't have to use
the same kind of bottle every time.
BATHTUBS
Not only can you bring objects into the bathtub with you for fun or
use the ones already there, you can also use the tub itself. Before your
bath or immediately after, try the techniques below.
After removing your clothes, sit on the edge of the tub. Put one foot
inside and one foot on the floor. It helps if you get the edge wet before
you sit down. Start rocking back and forth. If you have a porcelain
tub, the cold against your skin will heat your desire up quickly. The
wetness of the edge of the tub combined with your juices will create
suction.
Start off by rocking slowly. Give your body time to build up
tension. The more you put off your climax, the stronger it will be.
With the motion and the pressure on your clit, it won't take long to
climax at all so savor the build-up.
Water Temperature Guide:
Start off your bath in cool water. Your body will yearn to warm up.
It also leaves plenty of hot water. That gives you plenty of time to
play.
Turn the temperature up a bit. The water that first runs over your
clit should be room temperature. The idea is that the water falling onto
it will stimulate you.
As your excitement builds, so should the temperature of the water.
TOY TIP: The bathtub faucet can also be an exciting object too.
While your bathwater is running, lie down and spread your legs as far
as you can. Scoot forward and lift your hips until your vagina comes
in contact with the faucet. Pump up and down as the water hits your
clit.
ELECTRIC SHAVERS
Electric shavers are common bathroom gadgets. The man of the
house might prefer them to a straight razor. And, women know that
electric shavers are a heck of a lot easier and quicker to use to shave
our legs. Those two facts alone are enough to make you keep on in the
house, right? Their advantages only get better, though. They can also
take the place of a vibrator.
Here's how to enjoy your electric shaver as a sex toy:
* Remove any and all sharp edges from the vibrator. This includes
taking off the top part where the razors are.
* Begin pleasuring yourself with another object or your fingers.
Placing the vibrating shaver against your clit, without prior
stimulation, may hurt or cause soreness later.
* If you are not naturally lubricated, use a jelly or cream to moisten
yourself. Once again, without it, you may be sore later on.
* Turn the shaver on and rub it beside your clit.
* Place it gently on your clit until you orgasm.
* Do not press too hard. A vibrating object, rubbing against
sensitive skin, can cause a carpet burn-like sensation.
Why would you use a shaver rather than a vibrator, when the latter
can be used for penetration as well?
The electric shaver can easily be packed in a purse or suitcase. With
airport security as it is nowadays, you can bet your bags will be
checked. Nobody is going to snicker at the sight of a shaver. Your
secret is safe.
Also, depending on the size and quality of the shaver, yours might
have various speeds. Even though this was designed for thickness of
hair, it gives you an added benefit. Your whole body will vibrate,
from your clit on up, on a high-speed setting. Vibrators just can't
compare.
TOY TIP: If you don't take the razors off, make sure to cover them
with a washcloth.
SECTION 4: Around the House

* Living Room Furniture
* Table Legs
* Washcloths
* Vacuums and Other Carpet Cleaners
* Pillows
* Towels
* The Washing Machine
* Brushes
LIVING ROOM FURNITURE

Look around your living room or den. Maybe there's a couch and
sofa you love. Or, perhaps there's a rocker or a recliner that is so
comfortable to sit in. The furniture you're seeing has another use
besides lounging or decoration, however. In the heat of desire, they
can also be helpful in pleasuring you.
Take a seat on the arm of one of those chairs. Straddle it in a way
that it touches your genitals. Depending on the width and hardness of
the piece you're sitting on, you may either want to rub yourself against
it or hump against the edge. Both ways can be tried to find the one
that is most stimulating.
When you try this method:
To pleasure yourself, wear something thin, like a simple pair of
satin panties. If you opt to wear nothing at all, two things could
happen. A stain on the furniture could cause you embarrassment in the
future. Or, in the second when you get carried away in the sensations,
you might make yourself sore from the pressure. A thin pair of panties
will slide against the furniture and your skin, prevent stains, and, let's
face it, the cool, soft fabric might add to your excitement.
Rub your vagina on the furniture, making sure to press down to
stimulate the clitoris. Start off slow and build up the excitement.
When you orgasm, lift your feet off of the floor for an even more
intense feeling.
TOY TIP: Try padded chair arms and wooden ones. All the
furniture in your house can be used if you're creative.
TABLE LEGS
Have you ever looked at a table leg as something other than a part
of the furniture that you forget needs to be dusted? They are
something that's all around the house. Some are long, some
rectangular, and some round. And, they can be used for more than a
way to hold a table up.
For a shorter woman, a table leg can be a really mind-blowing way
to masturbate. A taller woman could try, but it may be uncomfortable.
The best kinds of table legs to use are round ones. When you're
sliding your vagina against something with a corner, it could cause
extreme pain.
How to Use It:
1. After you've found your round table leg, the first thing you do is
change into something flimsy below the waist. An old pair of pajama
bottoms is ideal.
2. Wrap your legs around the table's legs.
3. Secure and balance yourself by holding onto the top of the table.
Slide up and down the pole.
4. Make sure your clit touches the leg each time you stroke
yourself.
5. You can also squeeze the table leg between your thighs, placing
more pressure on your clit.
TOY TIP: It is not advised to do this without any clothes on below
the waist. The wax on the furniture may irritate your sensitive parts.
WASHCLOTHS
Most of us have a pile of washcloths stuffed in the linen closet.
They seem to stack up over the years. You even put the thin ones in
there, don't you?
Take one of those cloths out of the closet. Make it wet with warm
water, then wring it out really well. Put some Vaseline on it. Then,
lightly stroke it back and forth over your clit.
Tease yourself for as long as you can, then press the washcloth
against your vagina and rub. Your orgasm will be warm and slippery.
Other uses for washcloths:
* To last a bit longer before climaxing, cushion your clit with a
washcloth when using a vibrating toy. This cushions the vibrations
and extends your time before release.
* Rub it back and forth between your nether lips. The pressure on
your clit, like that of a towel, will be incredible.
* Slide an ice cube over your chest. After your nipples are hard,
place a hot washcloth on them. The cold/hot scenario will make you
groan and in the mood for much more.
TOY TIP: You can also place ice cubes beneath the washcloths.
VACUUMS AND OTHER CARPET CLEANERS

Most women hate the vacuum cleaner. It means hauling it around,
cleaning, when you would much rather be doing something else.
There is another way to use that vacuum, however; and, once you try
it, there will be no place else you would rather be.
Take the long, slim attachment with the flat opening and attach it the
vacuum. Turn it on, then position the slit of the attachment on your
clitoris. The sensation of sucking on your clitoris will be amazing.
You can also use the hose, without the attachment, for extra fun.
Slide a condom or a larger balloon over it. Smear the surface of the
latex with a lubricant, then insert it inside your vagina. You will be in
heaven when the cold metal of the end of the hose sizzles against the
heat of your inner walls. Don't take it too fast, though. Latex can rip
and the metal ends could cut or hurt you.
To use other carpet cleaners:
* Another thing you might want to try is a carpet shampooer, if you
have one.
* Place the upholstery cleaning attachment on the end of the hose.
* Put warm water in the shampooer, then turn it on.
* Spray the warm water against your clit.
* Then suck it up using the attachment.
* The spray of water, followed by your clit being sucked, will drive
you over the edge.
Usually, the upholstery attachment doesn't suck nearly as hard as a
vacuum, but still be careful. The suction can be painful in either
instance.
TOY TIP: Try a computer vacuum cleaner. They're a little smaller
than a hand-held vac, the suction isn't nearly as hard, but the pleasure
can be just as sweet.
PILLOWS
Men aren't the only ones that can use pillows to masturbate. For
women, anything rubbing against the vulva is going to be arousing.
When it's the soft feel of a pillow, you'll really love it.
You can pile pillows on the floor or the bed. Climb on top of them,
using a headboard or another piece of furniture to hold onto as you
rub against them. This is a common method to many women because
it seems natural to use something from their bed to make themselves
climax.
If you've ever orgasmed by simply pressing your thighs together,
then try adding a pillow to the mix. Place a throw pillow between your
legs. As your press and squeeze, slowly rock your hips back and forth.
The pillow will rub your vulva as the pressure from your legs
indirectly stimulates your clit. As you climax, lift your legs and arms.
It will give you the sensation that you're flying.
Every woman's body is different, so remember that, even though
this technique may work for you, you should experiment to find what
you enjoy best.
Try different sized pillows. Use ones that are overstuffed or worn
thin. Experiment with different textures, and try with and without
pillowcases.
Various types of pillows to try:
* Plush throw pillows
* Pillows with frilly edges
* Fluffy bed pillows
* Pillows with silky pillow cases
* Woven pillows
TOY TIP: If you don't want to use your newer pillows, try saving
the older, flat ones and put two or three of them together in a
pillowcase.
TOWELS
The towels you have piled in your linen or bathroom closet are
more versatile than you've ever thought. Of all the things in your
home that may be used as sex toys, these have one of the higher
numbers of uses.
The first to masturbate with them is the most well known. Stack
towels in a pile on your bed or on the floor. Make sure there are
enough that you can comfortably straddle them. Ride the towels,
rubbing them against your clit while rocking back and forth. The
texture of the material will help add to the stimulation.
Try placing a towel or two over a pillow. Then, fill a balloon with
warm water. Place the balloon inside your panties, and hump the
towel as mentioned above. Be careful not to place too much pressure
on the balloon or it will pop. However, masturbating like this will
make your orgasm intense, if you don't have more than one.
One towel can also do the trick. Place it between your legs,
dragging it back and forth across your clit, applying various amounts
of pressure.
Which way is best? (Survey of fifty women):
* Stack of Towels: 15 votes
Reason given: Your orgasm is under your control. You can ride as
long as you want the tease, but it feels good enough that you can
climax in minutes.
* Balloon: 22 votes
Reason given: The texture and warmth of the balloon as it slides
against the vagina causes a quick, but powerful, orgasm.
* Single Towel: 13 votes
Reason: After a bath or shower, you can easily use your towel to
get yourself off by rubbing it between your legs.
TOY TIP: As with the washcloths and pillows, select the texture
you want. Try different ones from beach towels to fluffy bath towels.
THE WASHING MACHINE

Laundry is a dreaded chore, isn't it? The only thing exciting that
ever comes from it is the spin cycle of the washer, then the heat of the
dryer.
A lot of women enjoy masturbating while sitting the washing
machine. Press your vulva against the machine when it hits spin cycle.
The sensations can arouse your clit. After that, use your fingers or
another object to please yourself. At the end of a cycle, the metal lid
always becomes cold. This will add extra excitement, as you get
hotter and hotter.
You can also hump the corner of the washer or the dryer. This is
more dangerous. If you lose your balance or control, you may fall off.
Straddle the corner. Rub you clit against it, increasing the pace as your
excitement builds.
To keep your balance better, you can lean back and use your arms
to support your body and you movements.
TOY TIP: For a different spin, try this:
* Purposefully, shift the clothes inside the washer. This will throw
the load off balance and give you a rougher ride. Be aware that this
could damage your washing machine.
* Place a cucumber or other toy inside your vagina. Clench your
muscles and hold it inside. With the load off balance, wait for the spin
cycle. It will give the object the same feel as a vibrator.
BRUSHES
Many types of brushes found around your home can double as toys
for you. What type of brush you use depends on what you're looking
for: penetration or clitoral stimulation.
The very large and soft brushes that are used for putting on makeup
are ideal for stimulating the clitoris. Use light, flicking strokes, gliding
down your body towards the vagina. Again, use light strokes at first to
stimulate your clitoris. Though you'll be tempted to use your fingers
to finish the job quickly, staying with the brushing strokes will
eventually bring you to a very powerful climax. You may also want to
try a feather.
The tapping method you may use with your fingers to arouse your
clitoris may also be achieved with a brush. Take the handle of a make-
up brush or of a purse sized hairbrush. Gently tap it on your clitoris.
Increase the pace as you near climax.
Use a brush with a long thick handle for penetration. Insert it into
your vagina. Press it into your walls next to the pubic hair region. Use
your fingers or a make-up brush to stimulate your clitoris. If you are
fortunate enough to find your G-spot, your climax will be out of this
world.
Find a brush with a rubber handle. A lot of these have raised parts
on them. That is what you want. Slide it in and out of your vagina.
The raised parts will create extra friction. You will find that this
method can be exquisite.
TOY TIP: Remember that even the bristles can be used. Warm the
brush in warm water to soften them a little. Then, rub then gently
across the tip of your clitoris.
SECTION 5: The Happy Handy-Woman

* Flashlights
* Quick Fix Tools
* Riding Mowers
* Ropes
FLASHLIGHTS
If you're looking for a different experience, along with a new
method, the household flashlight is what you're looking for. The
smaller flashlights are not recommended, but a medium sized one
with a longer handle is ideal.
To use a flashlight for masturbation:
* It's best to use the flashlight in a dark room.
* The butt of the flashlight is used as a dildo for penetration.
* You may want to warm it up first by wrapping your hand around
it or placing damp, heated washcloth over it for a few minutes. Of
course, a cool surface against your vagina can be stimulating as well;
so don't be afraid to experiment.
* Make sure all the lights are out in the room and turn it on. It can
be exciting sometimes for some to watch themselves masturbate.
However, it's a new thrill to watch the beam of light rising up and
down on the wall.
* If you choose to use the lit end of the flashlight for penetration
since it is usually thicker, be careful to check the surface. Some of the
light bulbs put out a lot of heat and may burn your more sensitive
parts.
You may also want to use a lubricant on the flashlight before
penetration or put a condom over it.
TOY TIP: Try this method when you're on a camping trip:
Lie out under the sky and slide the flashlight inside you. Turn it on
so the light beam hits the stars and trees each time you thrust it in. The
adventure of being outside will add to your arousal. (Suggested by
Penny O. in Ohio)
QUICK FIX TOOLS

The garage seems like the most unlikely place to find something
that can be used for masturbation. We all think of the kitchen or the
bathroom. But, the garage? Take a minute and think about how many
tools are in your garage. Most of them have handles, don't they?
Hammers and screwdrivers have handles that can easily be used for
penetration. It's recommended that you clean them first to remove any
grease or grime. You'll feel like the sexy babe on the cover of a car-
guy magazine when you stretch out on the tool bench or on the hood
of a car, and slowly make love to yourself with either of these tools.
Of course, these aren't the only handy gadgets you can find, and
use, in the garage.
Other items you could use include:
* Wrenches
* Pliers
* Axe handle (without the blade attached)
* Small gardening tools (hand held spade, etc)
* Paint brush handles and bristles
* Broom Stick
TOY TIP: Remember to make sure all tools are clean before you
insert them in any body cavity. To ensure safety, place a condom over
the end you intend to use.
Never insert anything that could cut or severely injure you.
RIDING MOWERS
How many times have you cut the grass using the riding mower?
After you've finished, your feet feel like mush when they hit the
ground from all the vibrating. Cutting grass can be a tedious job, and
that makes the mower something you wouldn't consider enjoyable
under normal circumstances. Think of those vibrations, however. Who
says the only use this piece of machinery has is keeping the lawn
manicured?
For an orgasmic ride:
* Strip down to either a pair of panties or nothing at all if you are
going to stay hidden in the garage. Of course, if you want to be daring
and do this outside, where thin pants. A cotton material would be best.
* Climb on the riding mower and turn it on. It's best if you turn the
idle up as high as it will go while in park.
* Sit in the seat. Position yourself so you are pressing your crotch
into the seat.
* Feel the vibrations flow through you. For some women, this in
itself is enough. However, if you need more, lay back and use the
handle of a hammer or your fingers to stimulate yourself.
* When you are turned on and in need or release, try pressing
yourself against the seat once again, this time rubbing back and forth.
As with any method of masturbation, experiment and find the way
that you like the best.
TOY TIP: Put the mower into different gears. The vibrations will
change with each shift. If the vibrations aren't strong enough in one
gear, sometimes up-shifting will increase them.
ROPES
The types of ropes meant in this chapter aren't silky and created
exclusively for intimate moments with a mate. They're also not the
kind you would find strung through the belt of a bathrobe or in stock
at an adult store. These ropes are the kind you see in the garage, like
the kind you use to hang laundry outside or to fasten a tarp down over
something. And, yes, believe it or not, these ropes are the next idea for
an around-the-house item that can be used during masturbation.
The fun thing about ropes is you can use them for fantasy also.
Ever dreamed of being tied up?
Cut a piece of rope and knot it so it resembles the number eight.
Tying the two ends together, then placing a knot in the middle of it to
create two separate circles can easily achieve this.
Make sure the two openings are just big enough to fit your wrists,
with just enough room that you can easily slide them off. If you
wanted, you could first do this same process to bind your ankles.
Lay down on a bed or other surface. Now that you are tied up and
the fantasy feels real, the rope can fulfill another purpose. Use it to
rub up and down between your nether lips.
Slide it back and forth across your clit. Take it slow. Let the
pressure build.
Resist the urge to take off the ropes and finish with another toy.
When you orgasm, your limbs will be restrained. If bondage is your
fetish, this method is one that should be given a try or two. Just
remember not to rub to hard to ensure the rope does not burn you.
TOY TIP: Don't forget there are different thickness and textures of
rope as well!
SECTION 6: Putting It into Practice

* Vegetable Lover
* The Fun in Doing Dishes
* The Sweetest Revenge
* Dirty Movie
* By the Light
VEGETABLE LOVER
It was him. It was always him, the thoughts of him – his face, his
well-formed, muscular body, and that deep voice - that crept into her
mind at the weirdest times. Mel stood at the kitchen counter preparing
salad for dinner.
Not only was the timing all-wrong, fantasizing about her boss was
the worst thing she could be doing. It was getting harder and harder to
keep concentration at work. The tension in her body was unbearable.
And when she got home, the thoughts of him consumed her. On most
evenings, her boyfriend relieved the ache, but tonight he was out of
town. Mel was on her own. For all the times her boyfriend insisted on
buying her a vibrator, she wished now she would have let him.
Mel held a cucumber in her hand and gazed out the window. She
stroked her hand up and down its length while, in her mind, she
undressed her boss.
It couldn't wait any longer. She had to have him now. Her fingers
pulled his tie loose, then pulled his shirt free of his boxers so her
hands could touch that smooth, taut chest.
She pressed the cucumber against her skirt so it rubbed her crotch.
It was him Mel imagined; it was his hard organ that pressed against
her. Oh yes, he wanted her too. A shudder passed through her body as
she removed her skirt and slipped out of her panties.
Now it was him sliding between her wet lips. It was his tongue and
then his cock rubbing against her clit.
"Damn, baby, yes," Mel moaned, moving her hips in rhythm.
Warm cream spilled from her. She braced herself on the counter to
keep from crumbling to the floor as he rammed his length inside. It
felt like nothing she ever imagined; he filled her completely, slipping
in and out of her but never leaving her empty.
Mel cried out for mercy. One more minute without release and she
would explode into a million pieces. One more thrust would be all it
took.
Her mouth opened as shockwaves rose from between her legs and
spread throughout her body. She shoved the cucumber deep inside
herself until she only held it by the tip. Rocking back and forth, she
milked the release he gave her, savoring every warm stream that
trickled onto her fingers.
When the last ripples of her orgasm subsided, she placed the
cucumber in the sink and ran cold water over it. Mel sighed. It was the
first time she had control of her fantasy and it had been hotter than she
could have ever hoped for.
THE FUN IN DOING DISHES

Karen cleaned up the dishes from Thanksgiving dinner. She
thanked the heavens it was over and her family went home early. This
holiday was hard; they probably could all tell she hadn't enjoyed a bit
of it. It was the first one as a single woman. That might not have been
so bad, but this year she should have been married. Everything should
have been perfect, not miserable
The past five turkey days, her fiancé, Kyle, and she had cooked
dinner together. It was special and romantic; it symbolized they were
a couple and on their way to becoming a family.
She let out a deep breath. Fixing the big dinner was also one of the
most sensual times they shared. It was hard to forget how he groped
her every time she bent over the oven to check the bird or to get
another pot from the cabinet. Even mashing potatoes was erotic
because as the beaters vibrated in her hands, Kyle would stick her
vibrator between her legs, touching it to her jeans until she begged for
mercy. Only when it was time to stuff the turkey did she actually get
release.
Karen felt the heat between her legs increase as she recalled those
times. Kyle slid her jeans and panties to her ankles and bent her over
the counter. Her hands were in the bowl of stuffing; his cock nudged
at her opening.
He waited. He always waited until the exact moment she put the
first spoonful in the bird before he let her possess his length. Then his
thrusts were hard and quick. When he came, she felt the heat of his
semen blasting inside her, filling her with loving warmth. She always
had multiple reasons to be thankful with him.
Remembering turned her on as much as it hurt. She filled the turkey
baster with soapy water and ran her hands down it. It felt warm like
Kyle's cock.
"If only he were here now," she muttered.
Karen rinsed the soapy water from the baster and refilled it with
warm water from the tap. She needed a man. Often times, she damned
Kyle for walking out on her, then cursed herself for being too moral to
have casual sex with someone else. Her vibrator was handy, but it
didn't feel anything like a real man. And that was exactly what she
needed.
She unfastened her jeans, sliding both them and her panties to the
floor. The heat in between her legs combined with the ache made the
thought of not coming in the next few minutes unbearable. It wouldn't
wait for the good old vibe, much less another boyfriend to waltz into
the picture.
Spreading her legs, she ran the warm baster over her clit, then
inserted it inside her opening. Deeper and deeper, she pushed it. It was
warm like a man inside her and with each stroke it drove her closer
and closer to the edge. Karen closed her eyes, imagined Kyle behind
her, driving himself home. When she came, she squeezed the rubber
bulb at the end. Warm liquid splashed from the baster against her
womb, coming as she did and mixing her heat with its release.
"Sweet lover," she cried out, imagining a man, any man, emptying
himself inside her.
For a few minutes, she stood there out of breath. It felt so real, so
human, and as she placed the baster back in the dishwater, she made a
mental note to pull it out of the drawer more often. It was good for
more than just Thanksgiving dinner.
THE SWEETEST REVENGE

Jen pulled Andrew on top of her. The soft pillows on the bed
cushioned her head; his hard body pressed her into the fluffy mattress
as she devoured his lips with hers.
She was so proud of him; he was a gifted doctor just back from a
three-month missionary trip to Africa. He was a good man and she
understood that didn't leave him with much free time, but being alone
without him was torture. Maybe she should have let him unpack or
even get a drink of water before she took him to bed, but it had been
hard enough not to take what she needed on the drive home from the
airport.
He slid his hand between them and fumbled with the button on her
jeans. Countless nights on the phone, she told him what she craved
most. She begged him to come home just to touch her. Jen whispered
orgasms to him over the phone as she touched herself like he always
did.
Not tonight, though. He was here just seconds away from loving
her in the way she cherished. Jen coveted his fingers, his tongue, and
the way he could make her come so quickly in just a few touches. It
was amazing. Andrew knew her nearly as well as she knew herself.
His hands slid inside her pants, beneath the silky fabric of her
panties. Jen could feel his knuckles graze her lips as he circled his
fingers in the moisture coating her underwear. He let out a groan.
"I've missed you so much," she whispered.
In response to her words, he slid three fingers inside her. He didn't
waste a second; his thrusts were hard and knuckle-deep. She arched
her hips off the bed. Her breath caught in her throat and she winced
with each plunge he made. Jen needed him so badly that it hurt.
"I've missed you too," he said. Andrew withdrew and slid his
fingers between her nether lips. He rubbed up and down, swirling his
fingers in the pool of moisture, then smearing it over the tip of her clit.
Jen gasped. A small ripple of pleasure filled her body each time he
touched her there, but vanished with his fingers.
"Please touch me," she moaned.
He giggled at her impatience and kissed her.

Jen wriggled beneath him, trying to make him touch her again. He
indulged her, but just as quickly moved his fingers away again.
Her arousal soaked his hand. He was torturing her. Even though she
loved it, she also needed release.
"Now, Andrew," she moaned. "Oh, god, please, now."
He pinched her swollen clit between two fingers, rubbed and
pressed her into a frenzy. With each movement he made, her need
swelled closer to the breaking point.
In the background, the sound of his cell phone on the nightstand
competed with her cries. He wasn't due back to his job at the hospital
for another six hours. They would wait for this. Just one more
minute…
"Oh, yes," she screamed.
Jen dug her nails into his chest. Her approaching orgasm welled up
inside her like a huge bubble, ready to burst. Just one more time, one
more touch and she would.
"Damn it," Andrew muttered. "I've got to get that. It may be the
hospital. I'm sorry, baby." He removed his fingers from her panties
and rolled beside her on the bed. "Hello?" he said into the phone.
Jen felt her excitement deflate inside her. The wetness between her
legs felt cold as ice. She usually understood that he was a doctor and
not always available when she needed him, but it had been months
since they had seen each other. The hospital could wait. One more
second and he would have made her the happiest woman alive. One
more second was all she needed.
Jen sighed and looked at him as he put the phone back down. "Let
me guess. You've got to leave." She knew the drill all too well. The
hospital never called unless they wanted him to come in.
"That was the chief surgeon, Dr. Barry. He wants to talk to me
before I start my shift."
At least in wasn't urgent. "That's fine," Jen whispered, wrapping her
arms around his neck. "You can leave a little early, but right now-"
"No," he interrupted her, pulling away. "He's leaving for vacation
tonight. His flight leaves in an hour and I need to meet him now."
Andrew pulled her fingers to his lips and kissed each one. "I'm so
sorry, baby, but tomorrow morning when I get home, I'll more than
make this up to you."
"It's fine. I understand." But she didn't. Tomorrow morning would
be too late though. She needed him now, but the desire that had
dominated her a minute before was now boiling in anger. At some
point in time, he had to put her first. When would that time be?
She lay on the bed and listened as he brushed his teeth in the
bathroom. The hum of the electric toothbrush sounded a lot like the
vibrator he bought her before he left. Jen stewed. He deserved to be
paid back for walking out on her. After all the time they spent apart,
their relationship should come first for one night, but it didn't. His
career was his first love. She was the thing he did on the side.
That was okay. She would fight it out with him tomorrow. Tonight
she would get what she needed: sweet orgasm. And, to pay him back.
As the front door shut behind him, she crept into the bathroom and
grabbed his toothbrush, turning it on as a smile lit up her face.
Her arousal still glistened on her nether lips as she spread her legs
in front of the mirror. Running it down her slit, the soft vibrations
echoed through, bringing her desire back to life. Jen whispered a
moan and pressed the plastic head against her clit.
"Oh god, yes," she cried out. The toothbrush rubbed her, picking up
where Andrew left off. With each stroke, the vibrations pushed her
closer to orgasm.
Jen grasped the counter with her free hand. She held the brush in
place against her as warm liquid seeped over her fingers. Her body
shuddered, her nerve endings stood on end. A soft cry escaped her lips
as her orgasm soothed her body.
When she was finished, she placed Andrew's toothbrush back in the
medicine cabinet. There was no need to wash it off. When he got
home later that night, he would taste what he hadn't been man enough
to give her. He would come to bed then, probably oblivious to her
scent on his breath, and she would stifle a giggle as she pretended to
be asleep. It didn't seem so urgent for them to be together anymore.
DIRTY MOVIE
He wanted make a movie of me in the bathtub. It started out as a
joke, something I would never do except maybe to indulge his
fantasies. I wouldn't enjoy it. That much was for sure. I had never, I
emphasize never, posed nude on camera for anyone. Just the fear that
someone would see it that wasn't meant to had always been enough
reason for me to do it.
"I want you to masturbate too," he added.
His name was Chuck. We had been dating for six months. Up until
that time, our sex life was pretty routine. Three times a week and he
spent the night with me on two of those nights. I wasn't sure if we
were in a relationship or just fucking, but it didn't matter. He was
amazing.
Maybe that's why his request shocked me. I didn't want to play with
myself; I wanted him. We never used toys or anything but our bodies.
It was all we needed because that alone was out of this world. But I
wasn't going to refuse his fantasy either. I would try it. For some
reason, I trusted him and wanted to please him. Heck, even if I just
humored him, it would turn him on and I would get what I wanted in
the end anyway.
We waited until Saturday to make our film. Chuck borrowed the
camera from a friend and I made sure my hair was perfect. It was
weird that I was trying to look good to take a bath, but it became like
an adventure. I was starting to anticipate it. As it got closer to bath
time, I wanted to do it.
Then, there I was lying back in the tub. Hot water rolled over my
body in waves, like sheets of warm silk massaging my skin. Chuck sat
on the edge, the camera pointed at my face first, then moving down
my body.
"Oh yes," he said, stopping between my legs, "this is going to be
hot." He stood up and lifted to shower massager off its hook. "Are you
ready?"
I stared at the massager, then at him. The realness of what he
wanted made me blush. I felt uncomfortable. If he hadn't been
standing by the tub, I would have made a dash for the bedroom and
locked the door behind me.
But instead, I took the wand in my hand. Sliding down in the tub
further, I rested my feet against the walls so my legs were spread wide
open and my mid-section was out of the water.
Chuck watched me, keeping the camera rolling as he unfastened the
belt of his pants. As the first spray of water hit between my legs, I
whispered a moan. The bulge expanding beneath the fabric of his
trousers excited me. And the water pulsing between my legs
awakened the sensitive spot nestled between my nether lips.
I put the massage head closer to my sex. The water pounded against
my clit, banging into it until my body swelled with desire and moans.
My eyes watched Chuck, the way his left hand slid up and down the
length of his cock while his right hand steadied the camera on me.
But Chuck didn't matter. The water spray between my legs was
sending me over the edge. I grasped the side of the tub and groaned.
Closer and closer still, I brought the massager to me until it rubbed
against my lips. The thousands of watery fingers pushed the final
strands of control out of my reach.
My eyes closed; my hips bucked out of the water, then splashed
back down. I forgot about the camera and Chuck, riding the crest of
my orgasm for as long as I could before I let myself go.
I choked on my breath, gurgled moans that were caught deep in my
throat. My arms and legs trembled. The water sloshed over my body,
washing away the warm liquid between my legs. A final surge of
release shook my mind, and I calmed into soft sighs as my body
relaxed.
"Oh my. Damn," Chuck muttered. He sat the camera down and
shed his clothes.
I smiled. "You can join me later. For now, grab that camera," I told
him. "Ready for take two?"
BY THE LIGHT
Perkins was an old dirt road. The car tires hobbled over the gravel
as dust swirled into the beams of the headlights. Giant trees lined the
sides and in the dark, their shadows blended together. One tree, one
branch, one leaf; a oneness I longed to feel with someone, anyone, as
drove down the path.
Nature was the only thing I seemed compatible with. Men and I
never worked out. That was for sure. But tonight I thought that my
luck was about to change. Brady Malone was different than the other
guys. He truly seemed to care; six months after we started dating he
was still around. The love word managed to scare lots of his species
off before him; he had been no different.
I wiped the tears from my face. Okay, so maybe we had agreed to
keep it simple. No strings. Yet, we spent every waking moment
together that we could. Wasn't it natural to start to love someone that
you wanted to be around so often? Besides that, making love brings
out emotions in a woman. I hadn't meant to mutter that I loved him.
Hell, even if he hadn't felt the same way, the last thing a decent man
would have done was roll out of bed, get dressed, and scurry from the
apartment like he had just been cursed.
I just needed time alone. It was well after midnight, but staying at
home, looking at the crumpled bed Brady was in just an hour before,
was too much. What was wrong with me? Why didn't men stay
around?
Oh well. It didn't matter. To the right of my car was the one place
that always welcomed me. It was the spot I always came to when
every thing was going wrong. It was so peaceful, so serene, that it
made everything else feel right.
Down in the clearing was a small pond, evident only by the silvery
light of the moon. I pulled my car over, reached for the flashlight on
the passenger seat, and headed towards my retreat. Nothing mattered
while I was here, yet I could sort out anything. Somehow, being closer
to that warm, wet water sounded like the perfect answer to make me
feel better.
It was a few minute walk through ankle high grass to the pond. The
crickets chirped close to my feet, then hushed, as I grew closer. Away
from the noisy traffic from the main road, the night was quiet except
for their serenade. The sound of a warm summer night's breeze
combed through my hair and I relaxed.
I sat down on the edge of the water. My flashlight skimmed the
surface, watching the ripples from the bullfrogs as they hid from my
beam. I imagined Brady sitting by my side. As much as I tried to
throw his memory into the pond water like I had so many other guys,
he was different. I loved him, and as I closed my eyes, I could feel the
warmth of his breath on my cheeks. It was time to finish what he
walked away from earlier, even if it was just in my mind. One last
time with him. One last time and I would drown all thoughts of him
and head home.
And there he was, standing in front of my mind's eye and pulling
me to my feet. His lips met mine; our bodies swayed with the breeze.
In a tangle of arms and lips, we unfastened jeans and shoved both
pairs down into the grass. I felt my panties sliding down my legs as I
guided his boxers down him.
I shuddered, rocking back and forth, letting the fantasy sweep me
away.
We stepped out of our clothes. His arms wrapped around my lower
back and pulled me against him. I teasingly brushed against his hard
heat, slicking it with the warm French silk between my thighs. His
every throb, the every beat of his heart as we pressed together,
reverberated through me. My own ache intensified from his internal
rhythm and flooded my self-control.
I could taste the lust on his tongue, as the kiss possessed my mind.
Oh, I wanted to lick it off, satiate him until our tongues rolled lazily
together after a wild, fulfilling dance. His kisses were sensuous in my
fantasy, massaging my lips into his and calling my body to scream for
more. The feel of his fingers in my hair, rustling it gently with the
breeze, sent chills through my being. I wanted nothing more than this
moment. Yet, I craved to go so much further. Lying back in the grass,
I shoved my jeans to my knees, and touched the ache between my

legs.
I imagined him. I imagined my hands touching him.
I caressed the back of my hand against his rough-shaven face. My
body rocked against him, side-to-side, then against him and away. In
the night's background, the sounds of crickets chirping for a mate
harmonized with our hunger. My hands slid underneath his t-shirt. I
explored his chest, rubbed his shoulders.
I was east; he was west. I was the heat he wanted to settle into. We
were poles of a magnet; the only direction was toward the other. It
was as I always thought it could be, even if it was only in my mind.
We embraced. His chest aroused mine. My hips swayed against his.
Our mouths rolled together as we lowered onto the ground.
He stretched out beside me on the grass. Our fingers danced. I
wanted to explore all of him; not leaving an inch of his body
untouched. Starting with his lips: I traced them with my fingers. Yes,
there would be plenty of foreplay. He opened his mouth and sucked
them in. Slowly, he caressed them with his lips, fluttering his tongue
against the tips.
I sighed as my hand trailed between my nether lips. Every move
awakened more lust in me. I never knew I could want this bad; never
dreamed I could crave something this much as I was this moment. I
parted my legs in a wordless plea. Maybe it was the thoughts of Brady
or perhaps just the needs of a woman, but the fantasy brought me to
this point. There wasn't any going back.
I imagined my fingers were his, imagined the sparkle I had longed
to see in his eyes as his fingers bathed in my wetness. In small circles,
he traced around the ache. The tip of a finger rubbed into my
engorged center. I gasped as my body swirled into bundles of tingles.
Not breaking the slow rhythm, Brady the fantasy slid down my
body. I thought of his tongue flicking where fingers now played. I
arched up slightly as I felt his hot breath join his touch. It was too late
to hold back. Already, I knew the sensations the flick of his tongue
erupted within me. The thought stoked me. At that minute, I felt his
tongue flutter against me. Soft shudders rippled through my body and
escaped in my moans as his mouth covered me to swallow up the flow

of silk spilling from my core.
I inhaled the night air, my body starting to calm from the soothing
release. My fingers rested in the wetness pooling between my legs. It
was a start, but I needed more. I needed my fantasy man inside me.
I wanted to feel every inch of him, but I was alone except for the
flashlight. It would have to do. I just needed something inside me.
Anything. And I wanted to imagine it was Brady.
I embraced the butt of the flashlight in my free hand and rubbed it
against my opening. The cool metal against my heat made me groan.
Inch by inch, I eased it inside. It was teasing me as I pushed it deeper.
My hips instinctively rose to swallow the length of it. The warmth
around the lit top pushed against my lips; the beam hit the night
ceiling, rocking back and forth between the constellations while I
made love to my fantasy of Brady.
"Now," I heard him beg as I withdrew the tool, "please more."
I stroked the tip inside me, taking more of him with every
downward caress.
"Damn," I cried out. I couldn't take anymore of my own sex-game.
With a quick downward thrust I buried the length inside me. "Oh yes,"
I gasped, beginning to wildly rock back and forth. The friction
sparked fires that shot through my body. My being rotated on the
flashlight's axis. I needed it, at that moment, to possess me. I needed
more, harder, now.
My strokes up and down increased to bouncing thrusts. It stretched
me, expanded my lust. No longer was Brady the fuel turning me on; it
was the night, the light bouncing off the moon, the feel of an orgasm
stronger than any before welling up inside me. It was so intense, I felt
like I'd go mad. All self-control was gone, as the first shudders of
release began to overtake me. I cried out, throwing my head back into
the night.
Grinding the flashlight inside me, I used it to milk my release. My
body quaked as sweet sparks lit my senses and carried them through
the darkness.
I lay there in the grass, my sweaty body lending to the moisture on

the ground as I fought to catch my breath. "Wow," I whispered, still
tingling from head to toe.
The water splashed under the weight of a diving bullfrog. The
crickets started to sing again, but I wasn't sure if they ever stopped. As
I pulled my jeans back up and gathered myself, I swore I heard the
pain I brought to the pond with me skip across the water, then sink to
the bottom. There was no way to be sure, though. The only thing I
remembered was that I always could take care of things on my own.
Sometimes it was better that way.
THE END
APPENDICES
Sex Toy Substitutions
Online Resources
About the Author
SEX TOY SUBSTITUTIONS

Find your favorite type of traditional sex toy and discover what
items listed in this book can be used as a new (and maybe better)
substitution.
VIBRATORS/MASSAGERS:
Water sprays
Electric shavers
Electric Toothbrushes
DILDO (regular):
Cucumbers
Polish Sausages
Popsicles
Candles
Wooden Spoons
Turkey Basters
Utensil Handles
Empty Bottles
Flashlights
Quick fix tools.
CURVED DILDO (for g-spot stimulation):

Squash/Gourds
Bananas
ANAL PLUGS:
Small Cucumbers
ONLINE RESOURCES
On Masturbation
http://www.clitical.com/: Excellent place to discuss masturbation
with other women, learn different techniques, share experiences, or
learn facts and myths.
http://www.letsmasturbate.com/: Site for masturbations techniques
http://women/index.shtml testimonials.
http://members.fortunecity.com/: Survey on female masturbation
http://tms3/femsurveyresults.html: Very interesting!
http://www.bettydodson.com: Information on masturbation,
cybersex, phone sex, orgasms, and everything else you might want to
know, but not want to ask.
Stories and such

http://www.mindcaviar.com: Erotic articles, reviews, fiction and
poetry.
http://www.cleansheets.com: Erotic stories and poetry.
http://www.girlphoria.com: Sex stories, poetry, and articles
Free Eye Candy:

http://adult.netpond.com/pages/: Hundreds of links to pages and
pages
http://4women.html: Free links to pictures of men.
http://www.bondage-sex.biz: Bondage Pictures. This site is free of
those annoying pop-ups that come with a lot of sex sites.
http://www.nakedsexwomen.com: Free pics of women.
(Disclaimer: These sites are in no way associated with this book or

the author. This listing is also not in any way an endorsement of these
sites, their policies, or conduct. They are simply sites known to
provide free pictures or services and listed in this book for the reader's
enjoyment.)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tina Hess is the author of two e-books, Shades of Seduction (2003,
Renaissance E-books) and Litter Eight (2002, 2003 Sunnyside Up
Publishing). Her stories and poetry have been featured around the net
and in print, including places like Clean Sheets and Girlphoria. She is
a web tech and contributing writer for Mind Caviar
(http://www.mindcaviar.com) and does book reviews for other
writers.
E-mail her at wordweaver08@bellsouth.net.
RECENT EBOOKS FROM SIZZLER EDITIONS

Ace of Slaves: A Tale of Erotic Captivity–Adrian Hunter
Bedtime Tales–Michelle Houston. Stories of wicked pleasures and
dangerous dreams.
Business Unusual–mariana. Sizzling tales of workplace encounters.
Chain Reaction–Adrien Hunter. The award winning B&D author's
newest collection.
Come True–Adriene Hunter.
Daddy's Girl–Victoria Manley. Older dom, younger sub. "Hot stuff!"
the Erotica Readers and Writer's Association.
Dana's Release – Laura Hammond
Darkness Bound: Beyond Bondage and Discipline–Raven Kaldera
Domina Tricks: How a French Mistress Enslaves Men–Gala Fur
Education of a Dominatrix–K. L. Mulvany. Her goal: the complete
enslavement of a man.
Foreign Affairs–Eric George. Sizzling obscenity trial leads to sizzling
sex.
Frog: A Tale of Torture and Sexual Degradation–Claire Thompson
Hard Time: A Tale of Sapphic B&D in a Women's Prison–J.T.
Langdon
Jenny: A Novel of Sexual Enslavement–C. A. Tessler
Julie's Submission–Claire Thompson. Newest tale of erotic B&D from
bestselling author of Slave Girl.
Lady Davenport's Slave, Vol. I. The Collaring of Amber–J. T.
Langdon. The modern classic of lesbian B&D.
Lady Davenport's Slave, Vol. II: The Claiming of Amber– J. T.
Langdon. To claim her, the mistress first had to punish and tame her.
Mansion of Slaves: A tale of training in submission–Lady Blade
Memories from the Mind of Sherezade: Erotic Fictions–Mary A.
DeCarlo
Mistress Margot: A Tale of Sapphic Slavery–Susanna Valent
Night Sweats–Victoria Manley. Why was the prostitute being stalked
by a killer?
Office Slave – J. W. McKenna
Out of Control–J. W. McKenna. Tales of dominance and submission.

Out of Control 2–J. W. McKenna. More tales of dominance and
submission.
Power Play and Other Loverotica–Andrew Hobson.
Pussy in Boots: The Autobiography of a Very Kinky Lady–Helen
Hentley
Sex in Silicon Valley–Kiana Tower. Non-fiction revelations: What
computer geeks do and how they do it!
Shades of Seduction – Tina Hess
She Devils – J. T. Langdon
Slave Girl–Claire Thompson
Slave Girls of Lesbos–Corbie Petulengro. Sapphic b&d in ancient
Greece.
So Spank Me! Tales of Blistered Bottoms–Lawrence and DeBarquet
Sold into Slavery: A tale of the Bangkok Brotheld – J. W. McKenna
Spike Trap–Han Li Thorn. A novel of female submission.
Suddenly Sexy: 20 Ultra-Hot, Ultra-Short Stories–Jamie Joy Gatto
Sweet Tastes of Seduction–Victoria Manley. A new collection of
mind-bending erotica!
The Boy Toy–Victoria Manley. Every young man's dream: to be
seduced by an experienced older woman.
The Queen's Slave Woman Book I: The Punishing of Jendri–
Susanna Valent. Another modern masterpiece of Sapphic B&D.
The Queen's Slave Woman Book II: The Training of Jendri–
Susanna Valent.
The Training of a Concubine–Jim Miler. She was trained to serve.
The Sintown Chronicles Vol. I., II, III– David O. Dyer, Sr. Three
complete adult novels in each volume! All about the dot on the map
residents called "Sintown USA!"
Tracy in Chains: A Tale of Sexual Punishment and Humiliation–
Claire Thompson.
Trail of Seduction: A Novel of Frontier Passion–D. Musgrave
Trans-Sexual: Tales Along the Gender Devide–Jean Marie Stine
THE BEST OF CLASSIC EROTICA IN SIZZLER E-BOOK

EDITONS
(From the Victorian Age to the Roaring Twenties)
Autobiography of a Flea
Boudoir
Crumbling Facade
A Crumbling Facade
Darling
Depraved Angels
Ecstasy On Fire
Eveline
Fanny Hill
Innocence
Kama Houri
Lady F.
Mastering Mary Sue
Memoirs of Madeline
Memoirs of a Young Rakehell
Misfortunes of Mary
Miss High Heels
My Life and Loves
Nadia
Night in a Moorish Harem
Nunnery Tales
Pauline
The Pearl Vol. I
The Pearl Vol. II
The Pearl Vol. III
The Pearl Vol. IV
The Pearl Vol. V
The Pearl Vol. VI (conclusion)
Perfumed Garden
Pleasures and Follies
Presented in Leather
Prodigal Virgin
Professional Charmer
Sacred Passions
School for Sin
Slave Women of the Czar
Suburban Souls, Volume I
Suburban Souls, Volume II
Suburban Souls, Volume III
The Sweetest Fruit
Venus in India
Venus in Furs
Vice Park Place
Wanda
Way of a Man with a Maid
Whipped Into Shape
White Thighs
Young Adam
Youthful Days

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THE WOMAN'S AROUND-THE-HOUSE GUIDE

SECTION 5: The Happy Handy-woman

WHY NOT USE TRADITIONAL SEX TOYS

SECTION 1: Straight From the Grocery List

SQUASH AND GOURDS

CANDLES AND ICE

SECTION 2: Kitchen Gadgets and Appliances

BABY BOTTLE BRUSHES

SECTION 3: Bathroom Accessories

SECTION 4: Around the House

LIVING ROOM FURNITURE

VACUUMS AND OTHER CARPET CLEANERS

THE WASHING MACHINE

SECTION 5: The Happy Handy-Woman

QUICK FIX TOOLS

SECTION 6: Putting It into Practice

THE FUN IN DOING DISHES

THE SWEETEST REVENGE

He giggled at her impatience and kissed her.

I shoved my jeans to my knees, and touched the ache between my

escaped in my moans as his mouth covered me to swallow up the flow

I lay there in the grass, my sweaty body lending to the moisture on

SEX TOY SUBSTITUTIONS

CURVED DILDO (for g-spot stimulation):

Stories and such

Free Eye Candy:

(Disclaimer: These sites are in no way associated with this book or

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

RECENT EBOOKS FROM SIZZLER EDITIONS

Out of Control–J. W. McKenna. Tales of dominance and submission.

THE BEST OF CLASSIC EROTICA IN SIZZLER E-BOOK

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