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A.M. Ailamaz’ian
To cite this article: A.M. Ailamaz’ian (2018) From Musical Experience to Personality
Transformation: The Practice of Musical Movement, Journal of Russian & East European
Psychology, 55:1, 15-41, DOI: 10.1080/10610405.2018.1491238
Article views: 6
A.M. AILAMAZ’IAN
English translation © 2017 Taylor & Francis Group, LLC, from the Russian
text, “Ot muzykal’nogo perezhivaniia k transformatsii lichnosti: opyt muzy-
kal’nogo dvizheniia.”
Translated by Steven Shabad.
Published with the author’s permission.
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having a hard time in Moscow, since she was not getting financial
assistance from her parents and her stipend was small. She took
any job she could get: she was a courier, she played the violin at a
restaurant, and so forth. She had come to Moscow from Crimea,
where she had graduated from music school in the violin class.
She had studied music since childhood; as she put it, “I knew
nothing in my life but the violin.” Her mother was a violin
teacher, preoccupied with her work, and she gave all her time
to the music school, the pupils, to contests and performances. Her
father was a graphic designer, a hot-tempered, unstable person.
O.U. remarked that when she was a child he was often unhappy
with her behavior.
At the time of the work on F. Chopin’s prelude, O.U. had been
engaged in MM for more than five years, periodically interrupt-
ing her classes, then coming back. Her instability was manifested
not only in regard to classes. Mood swings, extreme assessments
—either rapture or despair—were characteristic of O.U.
Extremely sociable, highly expressive in her behavior and emo-
tions, she likes to draw attention to herself, and easily strikes up
acquaintances, which rarely turn into deep connections and rela-
tionships. She tends to involve people around her into a discus-
sion of “lofty” subjects, the meaning of life, and to have
“philosophical” conversations that are more like moralizing.
Immature judgments are combined with practical smarts and a
lively mind. She has musical, artistic, and poetic abilities, but she
is unable to fully realize them. She easily grasps everything that
pertains to artistic activity, becomes quickly engaged, and
responds emotionally, but when she deals with routine and the
difficulties of learning a skill, she loses interest in work.
One can also say that her self-assessment is unstable: either it
is baselessly overstated, or it is equally baselessly understated
(after dealing with difficulties and criticism). Occasionally, O.U.
would harshly and negatively evaluate her own performance
despite fairly successful results, when she would “put on sack-
cloth and ashes” out of the blue, for no apparent reason, reducing
what she had accomplished to naught.
JOURNAL OF RUSSIAN & EAST EUROPEAN PSYCHOLOGY 33
despair. These are the feelings that I heard in that provocative 8th
prelude of Chopin’s that was so dear to me in spirit…”
“Stage 1 of the work. The first thing I heard and did in my
movement was ‘Instability.’ I got up on my tiptoe and I began to
teeter and be spun around in a small circle. I felt that I could not
control myself here and a force unknown to me—the force of
Fate, of Destiny—was carrying me, and nothing could resist it.
Hence was born the second image of the ‘Circle’ and the impos-
sibility of breaking out of it. I was being spun around the circle,
and at some point it began to expand, and I no longer had enough
space in the room. I was bumping into walls—the actual walls of
the room. And this made me run in a circle and break out of it
upward… But something led me to the most powerful inner
experience! At some point it reached a peak, its limit, and I felt
the most powerful excitement and pain simultaneously…”
“Stage 2. When I reached this emotional peak, it became
practically unendurable for me to move… I abandoned the
work, since I had neither the strength nor the desire to repeat
that a second time. And then one night an image came to me that
I was sitting on the floor with my back to everyone, motionless.
My back and head were lowered a bit, I seemed to be turned
inward. Focused. I was concentrating, but I felt no agitation
inside. Behind my back was a fabric, or a lake was running
over, and driven by the wind, it was agitated for me. And after
this vision, those emotions that I had experienced earlier in the
music stopped disturbing me. As if I were rescuing myself, I, on
my own, minimized and downplayed their value and dissolved
them in the subject… So later a suitable piece of fabric was found
that was supposed to possess a crucial property: to convey wave
motion (‘agitation’).2 And the work began. … Now there were
two of us: ‘Little Rag’ and me… It was my partner, we were in a
dialog and my ‘Circle’ was no longer closed… The escape from
the ‘circle’ in the music also changed my consciousness in reality.
It was as though I had gained an ability to see. I was now hopeful
about resolving my problems in life…”
“Stage 3. Everything seemed to be great, I solved the problem.
But no! This is where the most interesting part happened. The
JOURNAL OF RUSSIAN & EAST EUROPEAN PSYCHOLOGY 35
Notes
1. The Russian word intonatsiia and its adjective have a somewhat different,
broader meaning in Russian than “intonation” does in English. The Russian
term, which was popularized by the Soviet musicologist Boris Asaf’ev in a
theory he expounded in the 1920s, has been defined in a myriad of ways.
Broadly, it refers to all of the elements that go into the musical expression of
ideas, including tone, harmony, melody, and intervals, throughout the stages of
composing, performing, and listening. For simplicity’s sake, the Anglicized
form of the term, “intonational,” and the related verb “intone,” are used here.—
Trans.
2. The Russian word for wave [volna] derives from the same root as the
Russian word for “agitation” [volnenie]. The latter, depending on context, can
be translated in a myriad of ways, from “excitement” to “disturbance” to
“ferment.”—Trans.
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