EXPLAINING NON-VERBAL
PARALANGUAGE
MISCOMMUNICATION – IT ENCOMPASSES
Paralanguage – the “how” of saying something;
Language of flowers – the use of flowers based
on the meaning of each type of flower;
Language of colors – the use of colors based on
the meaning of each flower;
Language of time (chronemics) – the use of
time based on position or power;
Language of place (proxemics) – the use of
space to show importance;
Language of touch (haptics) – the use of touch
to express what cannot be said;
Language of gestures:
Emphasizing – “yes!” (fist pounding the table)
Regulating – “shh” (forefinger in front lips)
Illustrating – “this large” (hands set apart)
Emblems – clenched fist upraised
Facial expression – the configuration of eyes,
eyebrows, lips, cheeks, nose, and forehead to
show how the person feels; and
Posture and personal appearance – the way
one carries and dresses oneself.
One of the customs that STILL EXIST IN THE
PHILIPPINE SOCIETY IS THE TRADITION OF
MANO PO, WHICH INVOLES TOUVHING THE
HAND OF AN ELDER TO ONE’S FOREHEAD TO
SHOW RESPECT.
MANO PO IS NOW SLEDOM PRACTICED, WHICH
HAS LED SOME ELDERS TO THINK THAT THE
YOUNG FOLKS ARE RUDE AND THEY WONDER
WHY THEIR PARENTS NO LONGER TEACH THEIR
CHILDREN GOOD MANNERS.
Another example is the way we ask permission
to pass through two or more people who are
conversing, we signal with our hand by saying
pasintabi po as we duck our head and
shoulders.
If we compare our culture with other societies,
in arab countries, everyone eats, while seated
on the ground or floor which is covered by a
carpet, from one big plate, using only the right
hand to pick up the food, as the left hand is
considered dirty because it is used for bodily
functions.
Cheek kissing and mere shaking of hands
between men and women are not practiced in
certain countries due to religious restrictions.
Other than culture, gender is a factor that also
governs communication.
We expect a male speaker to have a low-
pitched voice. In certain settings, some
employees find it difficult to take orders from a
female boss, believing that a male executive,
simply by being male, is a born leader and can
direct his staff.
However with an increASING NUMBER OF
FILIPINO WOMEN WORKING ABROAD AS
OVERSEAS FILIPINO WORKERS, THE MEN ARE
LEFT FOR THE CHILDREN AND THE HOME,
DOING “WOMEN’S WORK.”
A.
IS ABOUT “HOW” SOMETHING IS SAID, NOT
WHAT IS SAID. SAYING “I LOVE YOU” WITH AN
ANGRY TONE IS A CONTRACDICTORY MESSAGE.
TONE OR VOICES MUST MATCH THE CONTENT
OF THE MESSAGE IF THE MESSAGE IF THE
MESSAGE IS TO BE UNDERSTOOD AT ALL.
THIS IS MERELY A STREOTYPE AS WE HAVE
READ OF THE EXACT OPPOSITE IN NEWSPAPER
ARTICLES BOTH HERE AND ABROAD OF
FILIPINOS WHO HAVE ACTED IN A MANNER
THAT GOES AGAINST THE STEREOTYPE.
B. FLOWERS
FLOWERS SAY FOR MANY OF US WHAT WE
CANNOT SAY OURSELVES. THESE MEANINGS
ARE ALSO INFLUENCED BY CULTURE AND
GENDER.
SUPPOSEDLY, ONLY FILIPINO MEN SEND
FLOWERS, WOMEN DO NOT. RED ROSES ARE
TO BE SENT ONLY TO A FEMALE SWEETHEART
OR A WIFE, NO ONE ELSE, AND ONLY ON
VALENTINE’S DAY AND BIRTHDAYS.
BUT NOW, WITH FLOWER SHOPS PUSHING THE
IDEA THAT IT IS OKAY TO SEND FLOWERS ON
ANY OCCASION, MEN AND WOMEN CAN SEND
ANY KIND OF FLOWER TO ANYONE, WHETHER
THERE IS AN OCCASION OR NOT.
C. COLORS
COLORS HAVE CERTAIN MEANINGS BASED ON
THE DICTATES OF CULTURE AND GENDER.
HOSPITALS (AND PARENTS) PREPARE
EVERYTHING IN BLUE FOR BABY BOYS AND PINK
FOR BABY GIRLS.
SOME COLORS MAKE US HAPPY OR SAD OR
ANGRY. IN FACT, DISTURBED OR VIOLENT
PEOPLE WITH MENTAL PROBLEMS ARE
CONFINED IN ROOMS PAINTED WITH A TINGE
OF PINK, A COLOR WHICH IS SAID TO CALM
THEM.
D. CHRONEMICS
SHOWS HOW TIME IS VIEWED DIFFERENTLY IN
VARIOUS COUNTRIES. FILIPINOS TEND TO SEE
TIME AS BEING ELASTIC. “FILIPINO TIME”
MEANS THE APPOINTMENT IS SCHEDULED
“BETWEEN” 1:00-2:00 PM.
TIME IN THE WEST IS ALWAYS EXACT AND TO
THE POINT.
TIME IS MOST OFTEN USED IN THE PHILIPPINES
TO CONVEY HOW POWERFUL A PERSON IS.
HERE, SOMEONE IN AUTHORITY MAY SHOW
THAT HIS/HER TIME IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN
THAT OF THE VISITOR BY MAKING THEM WAIT.
E. PROXEMICS
PROXEMICS OR THE USE OF SPACE PROVIDES
US WITH IDEAS ABOUT HOW CLOSE OR HOW
FAR PEOPLE ARE FROM THE CENTER OF POWER
OR WHERE A PERSON IS IN THE SOCIAL LADDER.
THE BIGGEST OFFICE IN A COMPANY
BUILDINGCIS RESERVED FOR THE PRESIDENT OR
THE CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER AND IS USUALLY
SITUATED ON THE TOP FLOOR OR PENTHOUSE
OF THE BUILDING.
WHEN EMPLOYEES ARE PROMOTED, THEY ARE
GIVEN ACCESS TO COFFEE AND SNACKS OR TO
THE EXECUTIVE’S RESTROOM.
F. HAPTICS
HAPTICS OR THE USE OF TOUCH IS ONE OF THE
MOST POWERFUL OF THE TYPES OF NON-
VERBAL COMMUNATION. LIKE THE LANGUAGE
OF FLOWERS AND COLORS, IT CAN SAY WHAT
CANNOT BE SAID VERBALLY BY THE SPEAKER.
- THERE IS CONTACT BETWEEN THE SENDER
AND THE RECEIVER OF THE MESSAGE.
… BEING APPROPRIATELY DRESSED SHOWS THE
FILIPINOS, ARE NOT AFRAID TO TOUCH
SOMEONE, EVEN STRANGER.
IN INDONESIA, NO ONE PATS THE TOP OF A
CHILD’S HEAD.
FILIPINOS ALSO LIKE TO TOUCH FRIENDS,
RELATIVES, AND LOVED ONES WHO TOUCH US
BACK.
THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS: A WOMAN IS NOT
SUPPOSED TO SEE, TALK, OR TOUCH A MAN
UNTIL THEY ARE MARRIED.
G. GESTURES
ARE THE MOST OFTEN USED TYPE OF NON-
VERBAL COMMUNICATION.
SPEECH, TO BE UNDERSTANDABLE AND
INTERESTING TO A LISTENER, MUST BE
ACCOMPANIED BY DIFFERENT GESTURES.
Emphasizing gestures – punctuates what we
want to highlight.
Ex. Hitting the table is a gesture that interjects
force, helping emphasize a point being made.
Regulating gestures are used to control the
flow of communication such as nodding one’s
head so that someone will continue talking.
The gesture might also mean understanding or
a way of saying “yes”. In the middle east,
nodding means “no” while shaking the head
means “yes”.
illustrating gestures are used to show size,
height, distance, or similar qualities like using
one hand to mimic a certain height or two
hands to show distance or size.
EMBLEMS ARE GESTURES ASSOCIATED WITH
SPECIFIC MEANINGS.
POINTING A FINGER TO ONES HEAD CAN BE
READ AS EITHER BEING SMART OR CRAZY.
GREEKS AND EUROPEANS DO NOT WAVE
GOODBYE WITH THE PALM OF THE HAND
FACING FORWARD.
H. FACIAL EXPRESSIONS
ASSIST THE LISTENER IN UNDERSTANDING THE
MESSAGE BETTER. THE LISTENER MONITORS
ANY AND ALL THE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS OF THE
SPEAKER.
EYE CONTACT IS NUMBER ONE. LOOKING AT
THE LISTENER IS CRUCIAL FOR CONNECTING
WITH THE LISTENER, ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE
IS MORE THAN ONE LISTENER.
FROWN ON THE FOREHEAD
RAISED EYEBROWS – SURPRISE OR INCREDULITY
SCRUNCHED CHEEKS AND PURSED LIPS – SIGNS
OF DISPLEASURE FOR FILIPINOS.
I. POSTURE AND PERSONAL APPEARANCE
HOW ONE STANDS OR SITS IN
COMMUNICATIVE SITUATIONS TELLS THE
PEOPLE AROUND HOW ONE SEES ONESELF AS A
SPEAKER, ONE’S ATTITUDE TOWARD THE
MESSAGE, AND HOEW ONE LOOKS AT THE
LISTENER.
WHEN ONE CARRIES ONESELF WELL AND WITH
CONFIDENCE, PEOPLE WILL WANT TO LISTEN.
APPEARANCE ALSO SAYS A LOT ABOUT THE
SPEAKER AND THE MESSAGE.
IN FORMAL COMMUNICATIVE SITUATIONS,
SPEAKER’S READINESS AND ABILITY TO DELIVER
THE MESSAGE INCLUDING CONFIDENCE.
EXPLORING THE FUNCTIONS OF
COMMUNICATION
Regulation and Control – the Speaker’s purpose
is to control others by managing their behavior.
Examples:
 Making an announcement that the
community will start segregating their
garbage.
 Simple act of telling someone to be
quiet or encouraging someone to
continue discussing the topic.
Social Interaction – the most familiar and the
primary reason why people communicate. This
is because people do love to talk and love to
talk with each other.
 Conversation with one another gives
the people involved pleasure while
passing the time in an entertaining way.
 Humans talk for the sole purpose of
coming together as a society.
 Allows people to be connected with one
another.
Motivation – this is when the Speaker’s
purpose is to persuade or try to persuade
another person to change his/her opinion,
attitude, or behavior.
 Persuasion is used to move the Listener
away from his/her own position toward
the Speaker’s own or the position
where the Speaker wants the other
person to move.
Examples:
 Having the Listener agree with the
Speaker that there is a “Pope Francis
Effect” is one such agenda.
 Convincing friends to go to the mall
after school to watch a movie is another
example.
Information – this is the most useful function.
 It is used when the Speaker wants to
make others aware of certain data,
concepts, and processes – knowledge
that may be useful to them.
Examples:
 Knowing what MRSA Virus is and how
to avoid getting it.
  When and where the school graduation  and firm. Eye contact is direct. In our
will be held and what the other details culture, these cues may be softened for
are. children and the elderly.

Finally, if the purpose is to move another

person to action – more than Regulation and
Control, or Motivation – then the Speaker uses
Emotional Expression. The Speaker appeals to
the Listener’s feelings and emotions to
encourage him/her to act in a particular
direction.

IT MUST BE REMEMBERED THAT

THESE FUNCTIONS OVERLAP.
 To Regulate or Motivate, it is
sometimes necessary to first Inform.
 Social Interaction also involves
Emotional Expression. – So does
Motivation.
These functions use both Verbal and Non-
Verbal cues to accomplish a specific purpose of
communication that the Speaker has in mind.

Regulation/Control
is a function of communication means being
able to use language, gestures, and emotions to
manage individual or group activities.
Examples:
 a parent telling a child not to misbehave
 a policeman directing pedestrians not to
jaywalk but cross on the pedestrian lane.
 when a student ask his/her parents to stop
teasing them about having a crush in
school. Siblings are also told not to look for
that crush in school.
 Friends/Classmates are under strict orders
not to talk about the crush at all.

a) Verbal cues – are the specific words chosen

and used.
 The Speaker and the Listener, when
using verbal cues, should be respectful
of each other’s culture as well as of
their age, gender, social status, and
religion.
 The words are usually directives, orders,
requests, etc., meant to regulate and
control other people’s behavior.
 In certain cases involving women or in
situations in Philippine society involving
a superior and a subordinate, an order
is oftentimes worded as a request.
b) Non-verbal cues – include hand
gestures, bodily action (including
posture), vocal tone (paralanguage),
and eye contact.
 The Speaker and the Listener, when
exhibiting non-Verbal cues, should be
respectful of each other’s culture as
well as of their age, gender, social
status, and religion.
 The tone and the bodily action that
accompany the words are authoritative