To: Nancy Myers

From: William Conklin

Date: April 15, 2021
Subject: APLED 121-Chapter 5-Achieving Audience Involvement-pg. 115

ACHIEVING AUDIENCE INVOLVMENT

1. Revise the following sentences to achieve audience involvement through personalization and
by adding pronouns and names.

a. The company will require further information before processing this request.
Thomas, we will need detailed parts numbers before processing your request.
b. It has been decided that a new procedure must be implemented to avoid further
mechanical failures.
Mr. Lewandowsky insists that we institute new procedures to avoid further mechanical
failures.
c. The department supervisor wants to extend heartfelt thanks for the fine efforts
expended.
I want to extend heartfelt thanks to you for your fine efforts.
d. I think you have done a great job. I want you to know that you have surpassed this
month’s quota by 12 percent. I believe I can speak for the entire department by
saying thank you.
I would like to thank you for your good work. We want to thank you for surpassing this
month’s quota by 12%.
e. If the computer overloads, simultaneously press Reset and Control. Wait for the
screen command, if it reads “Data Recovered,” continue operations, if it reads “I/O
Error,” call the computer resource center.
If the computer overloads, you can simultaneously press Reset and Control. If the
screen command reads “Data Recovered,” you can continue operations. If the
command reads “I/O Error,” call Lionel in computer resources.

2. Revise the following sentences to achieve reader involvement and benefit, using positive
words and pronouns.

a. We cannot lay your cable until you sign the attached waiver.
Once you sign and return the attached waiver, we can promptly lay your cable.
b. John don’t purchase the wrong program. If we continue to keep inefficient records,
our customers will continue to complain.
John, by purchasing the correct program we can improve the efficiency of our record
keeping and improve customer relations.
c. You have not paid your bill yet. Failure to do so might result in termination of
services.
To continue to receiving services, please pay your bill by April 19, 2021.
d. If you incorrectly quote and paraphrase, you will receive an F on the assignment.
To ensure a satisfactory grade, use accurate quotation on your assignment.
e. Your team has lost 6 of their last 12 games.
Your team has a .500 winning average.