Is it okay to be unhappy sometimes?

Want to know something funny?

When I search the internet for “how to be happy”, Google tells me there are
4,810,000,000 results. I’m sure that when you do the same search, Google will have
found more results already.

Additionally, when I type the words “being unhappy is” in the search field, Google
tries to autocomplete it:

 Being unhappy is a choice

 Being unhappy is a state of mind
Meaning to suggest that we’re broken if we’re ever unhappy, and that we should be
“fixed”.

Understand how happiness is not eternal

Even the happiest person alive has experienced sadness in his or her life.

The idea that being unhappy is a bad state to be in is just wrong. Everybody has his or
her reasons to be unhappy sometimes, and those reasons can be perfectly valid.

Some examples of the things in our lives that we can’t fully control:

 The health and well-being of the people we love

 The health and well-being of ourselves (everybody can get sick)
 The weather
 The job market (which somehow always seems to be shitty)
 The moment our laundry machine decides to break down
 The outcome of elections
 Etc
Can happiness be controlled?
There are some people who believe that they control 100% of their happiness.

How? By always being able to embrace a positive mindset, no matter what situation
you may be in.
Do you believe this? Can someone choose to be happy all the time? Can happiness
really be controlled like that?

Our study on controlling happiness

This led to an interesting and unique study we performed this year at Tracking
Happiness. We surveyed over 1,000 people and asked them simple questions about
their happiness.

It turns out that people who think that happiness can be controlled are 32% happier on
average

That is huge!

It means that people who believe they can control their happiness are happier than
those who don’t.

Related:
 Controlling Happiness Correlates With 32% Higher Happiness
(New Study Results)
There are some very efficient methods that will help you control the things that are
most correlated to your happiness. These will be explained throughout the rest of this
article.

Happier people are less a victim of their

circumstances
We performed a follow-up study that focused on circumstantial happiness. In other
words, we wanted to find out how much of our happiness is determined by external
circumstances.

Our study showed that roughly 35% of our happiness is believed to be circumstantial.

But what was more interesting this statistic was correlated to the overall happiness of
a person.
We found that happier people believe that their happiness is less a result of their
circumstances.

The happiest people in our dataset (happiness rating = 10) believe that only 31% of
their happiness is circumstantial. On the other hand, the unhappiest respondents
(happiness rating = 1) believe that more than half of their happiness (53%) is
circumstantial.
What does this all mean?

It hints at the fact that the happiest people have learned and implemented strategies
that give them a better chance of having a happy day. Without being affected by
outside circumstances.

Related:
 How To Stop Being A Victim Of Circumstance (Science &
Tips)
 How Much Of Our Happiness Is Circumstantial? (New Study
Results!)
Defining your happiness
When you consider happiness and look at it from a distance, you will find that there
are 3 things that can determine your happiness:

 Your genetics
 Your internal state of mind
 Your circumstances
In another survey we ran recently, we asked over 1,000 respondents to weigh these
factors. Which one of these 3 factors determined your happiness the most?

Think about it for a moment…

What would you answer?

Would you answer 10% – 50% – 40%?

Or maybe 50% – 40% – 10%?

We averaged all the answers and found the following percentages: 24%, 40% and
36%.

But that’s beside the point. If this study showed anything it all, it’s that our way of
defining happiness is really unique and should not be compared to what others think
of happiness.

Related:
 What Factors Determine Our Happiness? (New Study Analyzes
1,155 Answers)
Understand that happiness is different for
everybody
If I asked you and your neighbor to define happiness right now, the two answers
would probably be wildly different.

Why is that? What is happiness really? Is it a feeling, a state of mind or just an

emotion?

What initially looks like a very simple question turns out to be one of the hardest
questions out there.

Anyway, what I want you to realize is that your personal definition of happiness is
unique. What makes you happy doesn’t necessarily make another person happy. In
fact, your definition of happiness even changes over time. There is no universally
agreed-upon definition of happiness.

That’s why it’s important to find your own definition of happiness.

Consider your personal happiness definition

Think back of the last week, and remember what things or events had a positive
influence on your happiness. Think of the things that really made you smile or feel
satisfied with where you were or how you acted.

What came to your mind? Was it a good day at work? Was it a movie you watched?
Was it a book you read? Or was it when you went for a long walk? It could literally be
anything!
Whatever crossed your mind, I want you to realize that you just measured a part of
your happiness. By making an effort to think about the things that make you happy,
you are forming your own definition of happiness. This is an extremely powerful step
in the process of becoming happier.

How to practice this kind of self-awareness is explained throughout the rest of this
article.