Promoting Effective Communication

 Make yourself available for uninterrupted, one-on-one time with a child, sharing her interests
and following her lead.
 Get down to the child’s eye level. This is a great equalizer and makes conversation easier
because it shows that you are interested.
 Be aware of the tone of your voice. Comment on what you notice or observe in a voice that is
calm, positive and genuine.
 Encourage children to think and reflect by asking open-ended questions that elicit more than a
yes or no answer. “Why do you think that block keeps falling over?”
 Give children enough time to listen, think and respond.
 Practice active listening: help clarify questions or comments by rephrasing what a child has said.
“So you think it’s falling over because we made it too tall.”
 Model the give-and-take of conversations. Give children many opportunities to practice listening
as well as being heard.

Supporting Children’s Feelings

 Watch for emotional cues that reveal how children are feeling. Try to identify the underlying
feelings contributing to his behavior.
 Validate, acknowledge and accept children’s feelings so she knows that you understand. “ You
look/sound like you’re feeling frustrated.”
 Accept all feelings, but not all behaviors.
 Help children identify and articulate what he is feeling. Use emotionally supportive language
that encourages your child to view you as his advocate.
 Keep it simple. Give children time to process what is happening. Focus on the situation at hand.
 Revisit what a child is feeling a little later, when emotions are not so charged. Find time to talk
with the child about his day and what was hard for him.
 Follow a competency model. Children can sense your confidence in her capacity to grow and
learn. “I know you can do it. I will help you. We’ll do it together.”

Guiding Strategies for Social Problem Solving

 Defuse the situation; tend to physical needs first. If an object is the source of the problem,
hold it until the problem is resolved.
 Articulate for the children what you see as the problem if they are unable to do it
themselves.
 Invite the children to participate in problem solving and generate possible solutions. Give
time for each child to respond in his own way.
 Listen to all sides and encourage participants to consider all perspectives.
 Arrive at a mutually acceptable solution.
 Facilitate implementation of the agreed upon plan. Follow through.
 Focus on “next time.” This gives children the opportunity to change their behavior. Provide
children with the words they need to be effective. “Next time you say…”
 Bring to a child’s attention challenges that have been successfully overcome. “Remember
when you…now you…”
Encourage Social Problem Solving

 Anticipate situations that may be challenging for a child. Hold different expectations for various
ages, temperaments, times when your child is tired, hungry, etc.
 Practice potentially challenging scenarios beforehand (such as going to a restaurant). Rehearse
successful strategies.
 Prepare the environment to encourage positive and safe interactions.
 Set clear, consistent limits and expectations. Provide a rationale that lets a child know there are
“rules for a reason.”
 Make eye contact and allow your facial expression and tone of voice to match your message.
Use positive and concise language.
 Give specific suggestions rather than judgmental comments. Say, “Tell me what you want”
rather than “Stop whining!”
 Model appropriate social interactions.
 Help children develop empathy and the ability to take another person’s perspective. Encourage
her to look at the other child’s facial expression to listen to what the child has to say and to
speak respectfully.
 Approach conflicts as opportunities for a child to think and learn.

Talking With Your Child About Her Work

 Demonstrate authentic interest in a child’s work.

 Value all her efforts. The process is as important as the product. Children needs many
opportunities to explore the properties of materials, the effect of her actions on these
materials and the use of different tools and techniques.
 Find time to have a conversation with a child about her work. Revisit the experience with
her later if things are busy or rushed. Devoting time and focused attention shows her you
consider her work important.
 Avoid judgments, labeling and goal-oriented comments.
 Working with materials follows developmental stages. Each stage is important and
representational work usually occurs later in the sequence.
 Comment on process (“What did you do first?”), techniques or elements (shapes, sizes,
colors, patterns). For example, use the vocabulary of painting: “I notice your brush strokes
move back and forth across the paper.”
 Encourage a child to talk about her work by asking open-ended questions to help her reflect
on her experience. “Tell me about your painting, blockbuilding…”
 Use these strategies to talk with a child about her work. This can be a wonderful opportunity
to help your child articulate and share with you an enjoyable creative experience.