We see a lot of essays that start like this:

Yes, I agree wholeheartedly with this point. This issue is a very important one, and I
agree with it for several important reasons.

First, …

Can you figure out why this essay introduction is not good? It sounds pretty good. The
grammar is good. So what's wrong with it?

This introduction is not good for the TOEFL because it does not introduce the reader to
the topic. In other words, after we read this introduction, we are not sure what the essay
is going to be about.

The person who writes an essay introduction like this is probably thinking that the reader
already knows the essay prompt (the "question" or topic of the essay) and doesn't think
that she needs to restate the topic.

For the TOEFL essay, it is most certainly true that the reader of your essay does know
what the essay prompt is, but the TOEFL test taker must still introduce the topic of the
essay in the introduction.

The rule of thumb in English (our English teachers tell us this over and over) is that we
should write the essay as if the reader had no previous knowledge of the topic we are
writing about. This means that you should be sure to restate the essay prompt (it's best
to paraphrase the prompt, not copy it word for word) and to explain the things in the
essay that the average reader would not know about.

If you really do not know how to restate the topic, and you only need a TOEFL score of
4.0 or maybe 5.0, you could simply copy part of the prompt in your introduction.

Let's look at the simplest way to do this.

Imagine that our TOEFL essay topic is something like "do you agree or disagree that
learning about the past is not important?"

In a perfect world, you would paraphrase (restate in your own words) the essay prompt
when you wrote your introduction, something like this:

Although many believe that we should live in the present, I strongly believe that the past
holds valuable lessons for everybody to learn.

First, ...

However, for some people, doing this may be difficult, especially if they are still learning
English. (Actually, we're all still learning English, but you know what I mean.)

So, if you need something simpler, the easiest way to restate the topic would be to copy
the words exactly as they appear in the essay prompt, but make them fit in your
introduction:

I strongly disagree that learning about the past is not important. This issue is a very
important one, and I disagree with it for several important reasons.

This intro is not great writing, but it at least tells us what the essay is going to be about.
Abbrev

Meaning Example of Mistake Explanation

// I like to eat Japanese food and You need to use the

not parallel
eating Thai food. same part of speech
Back to top or type of phrase
I was able to raise my TOEFL when you have a
score by studying hard and I series of words that
read lots of books. are joined with
conjunctions.

 
?? I can’t I have tried to figure
understand Many companies began using out what you are
Back to top what this computers mouth. trying to say, but I
means. can’t.

 
¶ new paragraph You should break up
no example this long paragraph
Back to top into two paragraphs.

 
agr subject/verb The subject and the
agreement She are a good friend of mine verb do not agree in
Back to top that I has known for a long time. number.

 
awk awkward We heated the soup in the
microwave for too long and the The wording is either
Back to top shape of the container changed. too long or unclear.
In other words, it
According to my experience, I sounds funny!
grew up in the country and went
to a small school.

Due to the fact of his being late,

he missed the beginning of the
movie.
contr do not use I’m tired. Do not use
contractions contractions (can’t,
Back to top I can’t help you. don't, it's, we'll,
they've, etc.) in
I’ll’ve read thirty books by the formal writing.
end of the year. Instead, use the full
word form (cannot,
do not, it is, we will,
they have, etc.).

 
dm Even though I need to study,
double marking but I don’t want to go to the This sentence cannot
Back to top library today. have a conjunction
before the the main
Abbrev
Meaning Example of Mistake
Since I want to go to a good
school, therefore I am trying to
raise my test scores.
frag sentence Micronesia’s economy is
fragment growing. Because their
Back to top economists are working hard to
improve the economy.
Many students have a hard time
passing all the tests to get into
college. For example, my friend
in high school.
get do not use get
When I got home, I got tired, so
Back to top I got a book and got into bed.
ill illegible writing
We were very surprised by the
Back to top little @$HG@$*%
inc incorrect I am going to see a movie with
information my friend. (This sentence means
Back to top you have only one friend in the
whole world; you need to say
one of my friends.)
I was very good at soccer when
I was high school. (This
sentence means that in the past
you were not human—you were
a high school. You need to use a
preposition here, When I was in
Explanation
subject and the main
verb.
This sentence has no
main subject or main
verb—often this is
because the sentence
is actually a
subordinate
sentence. This
particular example is
a very common
mistake. You can
correct it by joining
the two clauses.
This particular
mistake, Because
their economists are
working hard is very
common.
get is considered too
informal and too
vague to use in
formal writing.
Change get to a more
specific word like
become, receive,
find, achieve, etc.
I can’t figure out the
handwriting. Be
careful.
The information you
have presented is
either incorrect or
sounds like it might
be incorrect (if it is
indeed correct, you
should explain why it
is correct since the
reader is not
expecting it to be
correct)
Abbrev

Meaning Example of Mistake Explanation

high school.)

The more people exercise, the

younger they will be. (Of course,
exercise cannot make you
younger. It can make you feel
younger, but actually making
someone younger is impossible.)

I am fortunate to be able to
spend a lot of time with my
children. I can teach them
everything about Korea. (Of
course, it is impossible to teach
or even know everything about
Korea or any country. We should
change it to many things.)

I would like to study in America

because all modern technology
originated there. (all means
100%; we cannot say that
absolutely every new thing
started in America; just to be
safe, you should use many or
most.
naw not a word in Although it looks like
English Computers are very helpful and it could be a word, it
Back to top advantageable. isn’t, at least not in
English. Try to use a
different form of the
word.

 
np no preposition I would like to discuss about
something important that you A preposition cannot
Back to top mentioned about to me during be used with this
yesterday. word for this
meaning. Often, this
We went to downtown yesterday is with the words
to buy a watch. downtown, home,
there, here; these
When I first came to the US, I words are adverbs in
did not have a lot of friends in English, not nouns.
here. Therefore, you
cannot use a
In class, my classmate never preposition before
mentioned about her husband. them.
off-topic off-topic or This idea is not
irrelevant There are many reasons to buy related to the general
Abbrev

Meaning Example of Mistake Explanation

topic of your essay.

Back to top a car, preferably a nice car.
 
platitud platitude It is okay for children to fail
e sometimes. The idea expressed is
a common one—most
Back to top It is important to have friends. people are already
aware of it, so it is
Life is beautiful. not necessary to
state it.
punc punctuation This is a very
I love animals. and I like to help common problem!
Back to top them. because they are Many students put
helpless. so I want to become a too many periods in
vet. their sentences,
especially when they
handwrite their
essays.

 
rep repetitive or The low-priced car was
redundant inexpensive. An idea is stated
Back to top more than once or
Personally, I believe what the some word is
newspaper prints. unnecessary.

I like to travel with friends who

know me.
s/p singular/ plural This word needs to
Many year ago, dinosaur roamed change either from
Back to top the Earths. singular to plural or
from plural to
singular.

 
scn singular count I like apple, but not banana. A Singular Count
noun Noun Cannot Stand
Back to top Most people want to live near Alone: you need
readily available source of either to change it to
gasoline. plural form or add a
determiner (a, the,
my, his, her, Gary's,
no, any, 1, 3, 50,
most, etc.)

 
sp spelling error
Firstable, I want to tank yu four This word is
Back to top yor help. Secondlee, eye want misspelled.
two give you sum monnie.
Abbrev

Meaning Example of Mistake Explanation

svo My sister she likes to study all

problem with day and all night. There is a problem
Back to top subject or verb with the basic
or object I want to buy something for my sentence structure—
mother that she will like it. either the subject,
verb or object is
There was a terrible accident missing or is
happen yesterday. repeated.

 
tone the tone does The advent of the Internet
not match that greatly changed the world. I The tone doesn’t
Back to top of the essay mean, so many people use e- match the rest of the
mail nowadays. essay—it is probably
either too formal or
I was kind of mad at the guy too informal.
who vociferated angry words at
me.

I have heard many wonderful

things about such cosmopolitan
cities as Paris, London, Tokyo,
and Hong Kong and I would love
to visit these cities to check
them out.

Accuracy and neatness are

important when writing letters to
college admissions offices or
whatever.

 
upr unclear If people do not speak the same
pronoun language, it has a greater The referent (the
Back to top referent chance of miscommunication. noun that the
pronoun replaces) for
Gary saw his brother yesterday this pronoun is
even though he had to work unclear.
most of the day.

I intend to complete my studies

in the United States because
they have good programs there.

Having a good friend is

important in your childhood. It
can help you in many different
situations.

 
Abbrev

Meaning Example of Mistake Explanation

vague the writing is If you want to live in America,

vague you will need to have a lot of This sentence or idea
Back to top experience. is too general and
does not give us
We should use our resources on much information.
Earth because the Earth is
getting worse.

 
vt verb tense The verb tense is
Yesterday I will go to the store incorrect—check
Back to top because tomorrow I needed present, past, future,
some food. perfect tenses, etc.

 
wc word choice If you really care about the This is not the right
child, you would teach the kid word to use in this
Back to top how to read. case—either there is
a better word to use
I was late getting home because or the word you have
I lost my way. used does not match
the overall tone of
the rest of the
writing.

 
wf word form People have a lot of freedom in This is not the correct
American. form of the word—
Back to top check the noun,
I want to creation a great web adjective, adverb,
site so that I can becoming verb forms of this
wealth. word.

This particular
mistake, American
instead of America is
very common.

ww wrong word Most basketball players are very
high and make lots of dollars.
Back to top
Even I don’t speak Spanish, I
was able to find a bathroom in
the department store.
This is either the
wrong word or not
the best word to use
in this situation

I gained a lot of pounds during

vacation.