7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen

Covey

Overview

Personality Ethic vs Character Ethic

Personality Ethic

Most new school personal development books focus on this

Things like public image, how you dress, how you perform in social interactions,
positive mental attitude, skills and techniques to get people to behave in certain
ways.
Can work for a short amount of time but often leads people to feeling
meaningless
Character Ethic

Most of the classic personal development books focus on this

Things like integrity, humility, simplicity, fairness, modesty, love, courage, justice,
and the Golden Rule.
Gives you deep meaning and a moral compass to guide you

Perception is not reality

We often see things the way we see them and never question if they are true

The way we see things actually influences the way they are (Old lady vs Young Lady)

Paradigms

How we believe (see) the world to work

Paradigm shift is when how you see the world changes and therefore the world
around you changes as well
Dependance vs Independence vs Interdependence
 Emotional Bank Accounts

Understanding Other People

Making and keeping promises

Be clear and upfront

Being loyal

Sincerely apologizing

Forgiveness

Habits

Things we dow without thinking because we've conditioned them

Habits either serve you or they don't serve you at this particular time

Once you've built a habit it can be very difficult to break

The best way to break a habit is to change your paradigm

Be Proactive

The Social Mirror

Viewing yourself based on the opinions, perceptions and paradigms of other people

They are more projections than reflections; people are showing you what they think
of themselves when they tell you what they think of you

Self Awareness is Human

Self awareness is your ability to project yourself outside of a situation

That is something only available to humans

Notice how you are not your feelings, moods or thoughts

Three Social Maps

Genetic Determinism

Grandparents did it to you

Psychic Determinism

Parents did it to you

Environmental Determinism

Someone or something did it to you

*All of these paradigms only really work for animals and humans who believe them
because humans have self awareness and the ability to choose
Proactivity Defined

Human Beings are responsible for their own lives

Response Ability
 Taking initiative means recognizing our responsability to make things happen

Circles of Concern and Influence

Concern is things you have no control over but are within your awareness

Influence is things you have control over and are within your influence

*Focus only on the things you can influence in order to be proactive

Begin With The End in Mind

Stoic Meditation on Death

Imagine yourself at your funeral; what do you want people to be saying about you?

This is the ultimate manifestation of beginning with the end in mind

What Does It Mean?

Thinking about the end before you begin

Allowing your imagination of the future guide your actions in the present

Why?

After you've decided to guide yourself and not let the social mirror guide you; you
will need some sort of guidance and it's best to find that within yourslef

Allows you to decide what is truly important on a daily, weekly or long term basis

Takes out the emotion of the day to day and allows you to be more analytical

Put First Things First

Two Questions:

What one thing could you do that if you did it on a regular basis would make a
tremendous difference in your personal life?
What one thing in your business or professional life would bring similar results?

Accept Personal Responsibility For Actions

Time Management

Time cannot be managed we can only manage ourselves

Think Win Win

 Six Paradigms of Human Interaction

Win/Win

Win/Lose

Lose/Win

Lose/Lose

Win

Win/Win or No Deal

Key Ieas

There is abundance in all things

Don't compare yourself to others compare to yourslef

Don't quit until Win/Win or No Deal

Build up emotional bank accounts before doing the deal

Seek First to Understand

Then to Be Understood

Seek First to Understand

Most people listen autobiographically; listen to other people in order to relate it

back to their experiences
A lot of people only listen with the intent of responding with their paradigm

Listen empathically and really make sure your understand the other person before
responding

Once you have taken the time to listen make sure the other person knows you've
been listening (build their bank account)
Then to Be Understood

Only once you truly understand where someone is coming from can you be truly
understood
Think of the old lady and young lady picture.. until we both know what the other
one is looking at we can't find that there is actually a third picture
Communication is the most important skill in life and involves; speaking, writing,
reading and listening
Synergize

What is Synergy?

The highest activity in all life - the true test and manifestation of all the other habits
put together
The whole is greater than the sum of it's part; the relationship that the parts have
together is in and of itself a part
 When people have the same paradigm, values and beliefs and behaviours they can
accomplish more together
When people don't have the same paradigm, values and beliefs and behaviors they
can't accomplish much
How to Create Synergy

Consider how differences between you and another person might reveal a third
picture
Attempt to understand how conflict in your life is coming from a lack of synergy

When there is a situation that requires synergy with someone else to get something
done but you can't find a third picture evaluate how important it really is
Sharpen The Saw

Continuous Improvement

Focus on getting better forever

Progressive overload

Most people neglect this because it isn't urgent

Four Needs

Physical

Mental

Emotional/Social

Spiritual