Lesson 16: Your Red Pen Edit

Lesson 16:
Cut the Fluff

In lesson 16, you learned:

 How to create content slips readers through like kids on waterslides

 How to convey your thoughts clearly without fancy-pants prose
 How to create tight, concise writing that gets the point across in fewer words

This worksheet will help you put your new knowledge into practice. Print it out and use it
immediately for tangible results.

You'll also want to print a copy of this worksheet and keep it handy in a folder, as you may
need it later in the course.

www.damnfinewords.com | 1
 Lesson 16: Your Red Pen Edit

Cut the Fluff

C
hoose one of the shitty first drafts you created for Lesson 11, or select one that you've
polished a bit from Lesson 12 on. You'll need it to complete this handout's exercise.

Take note of the word count of the piece you selected – jot that down someplace
handy… then get ready to cut the fluff.

Remove as many unnecessary words, phrases or sentences as you can to tighten up your
writing. You're not trying to reduce your piece to nothing, of course, but you do want to make it
a better piece than it is right now.

Eliminate redundancies, be ruthless and kill your darlings until your content is to the point and
concise. Read through it, and as you do, ask yourself:

 Is this word relevant and necessary?

 Does this help me get my idea and message across?
 Is there a simpler way to present this sentence and its idea?
 Can I replace this phrase with something shorter?
 Can I break this long sentence into two smaller ones?
 Can I switch out this jargon with something easier to understand?

Remove as many words as you can from each sentence, or replace longer phrases with
shorter ones until changing just one more word would actually alter the meaning of the
sentence.

When you can't change another word, you'll know the sentence is as tight as it can be.

www.damnfinewords.com | 2
 Lesson 16: Your Red Pen Edit

Be open to using simple phrasing and words in your content. Don't worry about 'dumbing it
down' – the best writing makes complex terms easy to understand so that it can reach the
widest audience possible.

Remember, your readers aren't impressed by tough-to-comprehend jargon, no matter what

field or industry you're in. Keep your writing simple. Ask yourself if an 11-year-old could read
this, and understand it. If yes, you win.

Take note of the word count after you've cut the fluff and compare it to your original word
count. See the difference?

Check your work again, and run through your piece a second time. Fluff-cutting may require
more than one pass.

It's a good idea to do a second pass after you've set your work aside for at least an hour (a day
is preferable). You'll come to it with fresh eyes, and with each pass, your writing will become
clearer and more to the point.

Here’s a fluff-cutting example taken from a past student’s work. It begins with 124 words:

Colorado’s open enrolment process such a hotly debated topic these days there is a lot of
discussion about school choice and how to determine the best fit or match between k ids and
the schools they choose to attend. There is a belief that the high school they choose will have
effects that will last their entire lives so they better choose right. The best advice I could ever
offer when it comes to choosing the right school is this: whether you choose a single sex,
catholic or co-ed private school or a public school, all of which have their own pros and cons,
your experience will be a direct result of how much effort and commitment you put in while you
are there.

www.damnfinewords.com | 3
 Lesson 16: Your Red Pen Edit

Here's what’s left after a first pass at fluff-cutting:

Colorado’s open enrolment process is hotly debated because people want to choose the best
school for their children. High school affects their entire lives, the thinking goes, so they’d
better choose correctly. But no matter which school you choose, your experience will depend
on your effort and commitment while there.

The paragraph went from 124 words to just 50 words… which means that 74 words didn’t need
to be there, weren't necessary and were just extra fluff that padded the piece up. Removing
them made the section much easier to read.

Here's the result after one more pass:

Colorado’s open enrolment process is hotly debated. People want the best school for their
children. But no matter which school you choose, your experience depends on your effort and
commitment while there.

The final paragraph is 32 words. Remember that it originally contained 124 words, which
means 92 words weren’t necessary at all. Eliminating them didn’t change the meaning of the
idea or the ability for readers to understand the point. In fact, removing them made the
paragraph better – it became much easier and more pleasant to read.

Use the chart on the next page to record your fluff-cutting results. Keeping track of your word
counts helps you compare numbers so that you can see your progress:

www.damnfinewords.com | 4
 Lesson 16: Your Red Pen Edit

Working title: ___________________________________________________________

Original word count: _____________________________________________________

First pass: _____________________________________________________________

Second pass: __________________________________________________________

Difference in word count: _________________________________________________

Working title: ___________________________________________________________

Original word count: _____________________________________________________

First pass: _____________________________________________________________

Second pass: __________________________________________________________

Difference in word count: _________________________________________________

Working title: ___________________________________________________________

Original word count: _____________________________________________________

First pass: _____________________________________________________________

Second pass: __________________________________________________________

Difference in word count: _________________________________________________

www.damnfinewords.com | 5